I've decided that Edward Burns is a better actor when I have a hangover. Just finished the west coast version of some piffle called "Ash Wednesday". Burns raises his usual horrible acting to a level of mediocrity as he has to save Mr. Frodo from a revenge killing. Smiling Ed Burns:



My PD arrived today without the Arts section and, by default, the crossword. What are the odds? I would think it would be nearly impossible to forget one section out of one newspaper, unless several people are without Section F today. I'll do it online, which went quite well. I know what an "acolyte" is.

Hey, I just got a visit from my Dad looking for his ice chipper. Had to remind him it was stolen (no doubt, a Future Felon caper) while in my possession several years ago.

Meal of Links

The Governor of Illinois is urging everyone in the state to get a flu shot. During the panic days in November, remember the gov ordered 300,000 doses from overseas. They're still on the hook for those.

India now pushes the panic button by issuing tsunami warnings kind of on a willy-nilly basis. Death total now 120,000 as of 10:00 a.m. It's as if Peoria got washed away. For the cynics, is a higher death count a way to get more money? Or should we trust the figures. For the somewhat heartless, life goes on. Truly asinine quotes.

Eddie Murphy is selling his mansion. For $30 million. Too bad Arafat is not around, it has a bowling alley.

Exercise Yard

I guess sports folks need to know the rules on flying flags at half-staff.

Visitor

3 Down: "Sweet Child O' Mine" vocalist (7 letters) Answer: Axl Rose

I fell on the ice today. Lemme tell ya, it's as hard as I remember from more youthful days. It all started when I dropped my cellphone and strangely enough uttered the words, "What the hell was that?" because I didn't even know I had the phone on me (it was in my pocket). Then I went to grab it and began doing a camel, before I fell. With my leg now under the car, I tried to brace myself with my hand. Well, that was an incredibly stupid move, as the ice was not exactly smooth. I should have asked for this for Christmas.

Meal of Links

Jerry Orbach is dead.

USAir wants employees to work or free. Pardon me, but did they not show up when they were getting paid?

Lately, these things have been Overheard in New York.

Exercise Yard

Mike Martz was threatened by Kyle Turley. But now Martz says it didn't happen. If he's healthy, maybe the Browns can pick him up for a song.

Visitor

7 Down: "what's Going On?" singer (4 letters) Answer: Gaye

The deposed CEO of Fannie Mae gets $1.3 mil a year for life! It's amazing how these corporate miscreants always escape with their compensation in tow. If it was you or I...blah, blah, blah...but, sadly, it isn't.

Meal of Links

Some Canadians want to accept a tropical island into their country. Look outside, it is not a bad idea.

This Citroen C4 commercial from the UK is pretty cool. Kind of a Robocop meets Sylvester thing.

A quick reference of a bunch of famous people who died in 2004. I only had two on my Dead Pool, although there are 3 days left.

Exercise Yard

Cleveland ranks 32nd of 35 sport cities. Jose Hernandez, our "championship-quality" utility man, will propel us up the charts in 2005. Shapiro: "I can live with the strikeouts...Jim Thome either hit homers, doubles, or struck out." Clown.

Visitor

33 Across: "Jeopardy!" millionaire Jennings (3 letters) Answer: Ken (Apparently anyone can now make it into the LA Times Syndicate puzzle. Reference point, this dolt made it before LeBron.)

I went to my doctor today for a checkup and he gave me another six months, so I guess things are OK or he wants to get paid. But I got done with him early enough, so I headed over to the Regal to see "The Aviator".

I liked it. I thought Cate Blanchett had Hepburn done cold and Alec Baldwin played the ruthless, of course, head of Pan Am. Leo did a good job. Probably many nominations coming its way. Much better than "Gangs of New York".

Bruce Willis was in a couple of coming attractions. One called "Sin City" had a comic book look to it. Very arty. Not sure what it's about, but it definitely is striking to look at.

Meal of Links

The scary thing about the Asian earthquake is it was stronger than all of the earthquakes from the last five years...put together.

George Carlin says these seven words, "I need to go to rehab immediately."

Your $20 bill has some interesting pictures on it.

Exercise Yard

The Cavs are moving up in the NBA Power Rankings.

Visitor

53 Down: General ____ chicken (4 letters) Answer: Tso's

Had a nice brunch today at The Harp. My meal was the American Breakfast, Creme Brulee and the ubiquitous Bloody Mary. Very yummy.

Christmas has come and gone once again. I received a nice slate of gifts ranging from the practical to the humorous. Probably have some additional shopping planned this week, as I am off most of the next week.

Meal of Links

Buy a hand puppet. Get chicks.

A guy drops in on a homeless shelter in Denver and hands out $35,000. That's the Christmas spirit.

Kate Bush tries a comeback. Pretty woman with a pretty voice.

Exercise Yard

Reggie White died today. White was listed as the NFL's all-time sack leader for a time, and is considered one of the all-time greats. You may remember Art Modell bought Mrs. White a fur coat during free agaent negotiations one year, but God told him to go play for Green Bay. Made some unfortunate racist remarks in a speech to the Wisconsin legislature late in his career.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Visitor

Santa Claus

From the land of freezy-nads, I went to GFS today. I can't help but laugh when I see those huge cans of Bush's baked beans. Does anyone buy those? I had to pick up some plastic items (you know, cups and forks and stuff) and they always have a good selection. Really good food, too. The frozen stuffed chicken is excellent.

Meal of Links

NORAD tracks Santa again this year. The sentimental fool in me thinks it's pretty cool for the kiddies.

Kids are naughty. So, Dad is not nice and sells their Christmas gifts on eBay. Give him the appropriate feedback.

For the first time in memory, I had no CDs on my Chrsitmas list. I agree with the kid.

Exercise Yard

Santa almost beat Lance last weekend.



The Todd Bertuzzi case ended on a really strange twist. Steve Moore didn't have a chance to address the court in person.

Visitor

38 Across: Man in a "red" suit (11 letters) Answer: Chairman Mao

I called off work because of the snow today. I'm guessin' it's the worst I've seen in a long time. Probably since that early November snow we had several years ago. Can't remember the year, all I know is Holyfield beat Tyson that night. I have gotten stuck twice in the damn driveway today. And I haven't seen a plow yet. I look out the window and more and more cars are getting stuck making the turn over there onto the side street. Mayor Jane says it might be 48 hours until the streets are cleared. Mayor, it's Christmas!! The two best things about today is I got to see an old Christmas episode from "Happy Days" and I got to see this Alicia Scicolone on Channel 5. She's got it goin' on.

Meal of Links

Some kids write to Santa. Cool kids write to Christopher Walken.

Who knew that Arafat liked bowling? "Mark it 8, dude."

It figures the "Who's Your Daddy?" contestant would be good looking. It's still a creepy concept. Hey, it's Fox. Is "Man vs. Beast" coming back this year?

Exercise Yard

Summer...my time of year.



Visitor

14 Across: A Trump ex (5 letters) Answer: Marla

I had a good day yesterday, because I got an unexpected Christmas bonus. Hooray! Then we had a little work gathering at the Cavs game last night. But since Bron Bron showed up, the old floor boxes with the table and swivel chairs (oh, how I wanted to swivel) have been replaced by two rows of four folding chairs. Doh! Anyhow, I had a really good time and drank a lot, because we had curb service and I wasn't paying. Actually, I had drinks at three different places before the game and didn't pay at any of them. Alesci's, of course. Then Hairy Buffalo, off of my list now, because you have to put your name on a waiting list to get a table. It is a bar last time I looked. Then inside the Gund at The Depot, which is the little bar adjacent to the floor seats. They only charge $10 for a double. Sometime in the second half, I had my lampshade moment which consisted of a thunder stick with the word "unit" on it and the words Randy Johnson uttered by yours truly.

Meal of Links

NYC comics may be going on strike. No joke.

There's no such thing as the Sanity worm. I'm here all week, try the veal.

Don Knotts stars in a movie about "Dubya". He's a fine dramatic actor.

Exercise Yard

I never get tired of the Indians annual signing of Jason Bere. "Clean your oven."

Visitor

36 Down: Journalist Claire Boothe ( letters) Answer: Luce

How awful are the Browns? They motivated me to clean my oven yesterday. A new low in crappiness. It's as if some spirit took over the TV every time I saw Coach Robiskie. "Clean your oven.", he commanded. "Clean your oven." Like a dog that won't stop barking. Another bad play...there he is again. "Clean your oven." Must...turn...away...haven't...shovelled....snow. I think it was his replay challenge on a potential gain on what would have resulted in a 3rd and 6, instead of 3rd and 10, that put me over the edge. Turn away before he gets you, too.

Meal of Links

The "Dark Side of the Moon" version of "The Wizard of Oz". I have a DVD of this that I found on eBay. Very creepy.

Bush says Rummy is "a caring fellow". To paraphrase Thornton Melon, "He cares...about what? I have no idea."

In case you need a last-minute gift idea. Just in time for Midnight Mass. Or maybe after Mass.

Exercise Yard

The football gods must have had a beef with T.O. He is probably done with for the year with a broken leg. At least he has his head, unlike Robert Ferguson.




Visitor

39 Down: Rock singer Quatro (4 letters) Answer: Suzi

Yup, it's bad 

Action News is in full Armageddon mode. These clowns have extended their 7 a.m news to 11 a.m. For fans of "Face the Nation" and "CBS Sunday Morning, well, you'll just have to watch those shows overnight, because it's snowing. Biff is now doing the weather and when he says, "We are still waiting for those Lake Huron bands to develop" and "This Arctic air is really dry", my spider sense starts tingling and you realize they may have blown another forecast. Oh, it's snowing, but it seems more like a wind problem today.

I had been watching "Fox News Sunday" earlier and my, is Brit Hume Mr. Grumpy. But I wonder of they sell lots of local ads during that show. Because one of the commercials was for "The Clapper"! It makes a great gift, BTW. My guess is the old lady in bed on that ad has probably graduated to "fallen, but can't get up" mode by now.

Meal of Links

Next week's NY Times Top 10 Non-Fiction list is really scary. Jon Stewart is #1 and Dylan #2. Stephen King's Red Sox book is #3 and George Carlin is #5. Clay Aiken is (gulp!) #6. What happened to my country?

What's going on at "Survivor" tapings? I get the feeling Jeff Probst has been interested in seeing the "dailies" for quite some time.

For all those who supposedly were scared of Santa. You have company.

Exercise Yard

Glen "The Road Warrior" Johnson showed a lot of heart by defeating Antonio Tarver in a really good fight on HBO last night. Tarver blatantly took the 10th round off and it probably cost him the decision. I don't think I've ever heard a more modest, gracious winner than Johnson. In boxing especially, that is rare.

BTW, they had a rerun of Klitschko-Williams on as well. Why does Klitschko's nickname "Dr. Ironfist" make me laugh out loud every time I hear it?

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

"You got to dance with who brung ya, swing with who swung ya, don't be a big old fool..." I violated that rule of drinking yesterday. The bartender at A.J. Rocco's offered to do shots with me. I don't normally do shots, but I was feeling festive. Not being choosy about the food groups, I had a shot of vodka, then a touch later, a shot of tequila. A chaser, what's that? In addition to the run-of-the-mill (maybe run-of-the-gin-mill?) vat of bourbon. BTW, Brendan runs a neat little place at A.J. Rocco's with an awesome photo of Bob Marley hanging prominently. But I feel spry today and was able to attend my hair appointment on time. Of course, I did show up for that appointment last week, only to realize I was a week early. Prompt, but addle-minded.

Meal of Links

Jessica Simpson's Dad comments on her cans. Thanks, Pops.

Since my recap of "The Apprentice" blew up, this one tells the story.

In China, Pizza Hut allows only one trip to the salad bar. It takes a structural engineer to build a salad worthy of the price.

Exercise Yard

The mean folks at Adelphia have offered me an early Christmas present as the NFL Network has joined their channel lineup. This is like TV crack. Fittingly, the first show I see is "In Their Own Words: Hank Stram". Omigod, it's "65 Toss Power Trap", "keep matriculating the ball down the field, boys" and "Gloster, where's Gloster?" I may never go outside again.

Visitor

44 Across: Metallica drummer Ulrich (4 letters) Answer: Lars

Isolation Thought

It's the finale of "The Apprentice" and the palatial estate is abuzz with anticipation of tonight's three-hour (Jesus Cristo!) episode. Or maybe I'm buzzed. Either way, I've decided to do a recap of the festivities.

In honor of El Donaldo, I also have product placement: TV by Sony, Laptop by Dell, Jeans by Jordache (just seeing who's still with me.).

The finalists: Jen vs. Kelly. Jen Massey refers to herself as a "steel magnolia" on her website, therefore eliminating any chance of me rooting for her. Kelly Perdew, on the other hand, is an optimistic sort. When contacting Kelly, his website urges us to "think about your outreach effort as an elevator pitch." Sounds like a guy you'd like to have a beer with. In hell.

Not happy as all of my typing got erased with a glitch. Three hours of work. I'm not bitter. Oh well.

Meal of Links

Carl's Jr. adds the Breakfast Burger to complement Hardee's Monster Thickburger. The Breakfast Burger consists of a burger topped with, get this: fried egg, hash browns, bacon, cheese. How can that fit on a bun, let alone down your gullet?

iTunes recently passed the 200 million download mark. I am so far behind.

The Beatles Christmas messages were always kinda funny. I wonder if Outkast will do this in the future.

Exercise Yard

A friend of Drew's has designed an excellent Cavs History site. Extremely detailed and worth a bookmark.

Visitor

52 Down: Donovan McNabb, for one (5 letters) Answer: Eagle

Isolation Thought

Can't think of a better way to get in the Christmas spirit than to write out Christmas cards. Of course, accompanied by the holiday CDs that I burned. I think I have "The Bedford Falls Mix" going right now. I'm currently singing "Marshmallow World" with Dino..."...like a punkin head...". I had the "Land of Misfit Toys Mix" on earlier. "The Burgermeister Mix" awaits.

But while getting stamp happy, I decided I'm going to send out some bills. Buzzkill.

Meal of Links

Paul Rodgers is the new Freddie Mercury. Yes, THAT Paul Rodgers.

If you have lots of running around this Christmas, you tend to miss some things. Here is the 30-second version of "It's A Wonderful Life". Acted by bunnies.

Here's a neat crossword with a unique twist.

Exercise Yard

Paul Dolan with the quote of the year in the Beacon today. "We struck early in free agency." My reply was "WTF?" He's trying to say Aaron Boone was their first free agent signing for next year. You remember Aaron Boone. The guy who they tried to rush LAST YEAR, when they thought Casey Blake was bombing. Spin is one thing, but that is an asinine comment. Clown.

Visitor

50 Down: Country singer Lovett (4 letters) Answer: Lyle

Isolation Thought

It snowed today. A measurable snow at that. Which means the weather folks get to put their "Armageddon" face on. I saw some insane forecast on the Weather Channel of 12-18 inches. But it didn't include the words "eastern suburbs" or "snow belt". So I don't know what the hell is going on. Only saw one accident on the way home, so that was cool.

Meal of Links

This year's Golden Globe nominees. I hope Scarlett shows up.

This year's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees. Of course, U2 made it. And The Pretenders are in. But Percy Sledge?

Peter Gammons is elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame. Uncle Petey is already on the $20 bill.

Exercise Yard

Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego provides us with memories of what Municipal Stadium was like towards the end. Except I'm not sure that was rain locally.

Visitor

40 Down: Diarist Anais (3 letters) Answer: Nin

Isolation Thought

It's snowing this morning. It's great to see our weather folks on top of things. My impression is it's supposed to get warm enough to rain today. But the flurries are now starting to cover things a bit. Nothing major, just annoying.

Cleveland State played their best home game since the North Carolina game last year and almost beat Kent. DeAndre Haynes form Kent took the game over in the latest episode of "Refuse to Lose". FYI, the blond on the dance team is still hot. Over 4,000 people showed up. Now with the great scheduling by CSU athletics, the next home game is January 6.

Sokolowski's update after the game; Pork chops, MPs, corn, salad, lemonade, blackberry pie, coma.

Meal of Links

It's the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe today. I'm not necessarily the world's most religious person, but the shrine in Mexico was hauntingly serene for me.

"Sideways" won the LA Critics Award. It was really good.

Some Minnesotan bowled a 900 series. Kudos to that klassy kegler. But isn't it odd that he owns the joint. I hope he enjoys his memento.

Exercise Yard

In case you haven't been paying attention, note that Bode Miller is currently leading World Cup skiing. Not asking that you care an American is leading, just take note of it.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

I saw "Ocean's Twelve" today. Not looking to win any Oscars, they did a good job of poking fun at themselves. And Eddie Izzard and Bruce Willis popped in for cameos, so it couldn't be bad. Presposterous plot, but you're supposed to enjoy yourself at the movies and you will. I saw it at the DLP theatre at Cinemark. Not that I'm anal or anything, but the perfect seat there is 4th row, middle, in case you were wondering. But at the DLP there are no word games or Coke trivia or dopey intros, it's right to the previews and they had tons.

Here are the previews I saw (with some estimates on dates):

"Meet The Fockers": Of course, this looks really funny. (December 22)

Keanu is back in "Constantine": Looks OK, slow-motion glass breaking a la "The Matrix". Based on a comic. Comic book, not comedian. (February 18)

"The Pacifier" with Vin Diesel. The preview to this Disney movie made me laugh. A lot. (March 4)

"The Ring Two" looked really cool. (March 18)

"Batman Begins" revealed nothing, except it was dark. But Christian Bale is Batman, so I'm thinking it'll be good.(June 17)

"Mr and Mrs. Smith" with Jolie and Pitt. Married assassins' next target...each other. (June 10)

"Be Cool". Travolta as Chili Palmer. Cast on paper-->Outstanding. Uma, The Rock, Cedric, Keitel, Vince Vaughan. (March 4)

"Wedding Crashers". Self explanatory comedy with Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughan. (Vaughan is also in Mr. and Mrs. Smith. He's like Action News.) (July 22)

"Beyond The Sea". The Bobby Darin biopic with Kevin Spacey looked decent. (December 31)

"Coach Carter". Samuel L. as a high-school basketball coach who is all about the learnin'. (January 14--January, the evil dumping ground of cinema)

"Assault on Precinct 13". Ethan Hawke and Lawrence Fishburne, who looks really mean. (January 21--January release date, ruh-roh)

"Hitch" with Will Smith (as a dating expert) and Kevin James. This looks hilarious. (February 11)

Then the movie started.

Meal of Links

I'm sensing Bernard Kerik realized he had more ethical issues besides an illegal alien nanny. The background check was barely underway before he withdrew.

Ah...Christmas in Paris. I see Red Wings.

All you ever wanted to know about Stephen A. Smith.

Exercise Yard

Will the Tribe sign anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Visitor

1 Across: Auto racer Breedlove (5 letters) Answer: Craig

Isolation Thought

I drop in occasionally on "The Alternative" on VH1 Classic. Sure, you get videos you have not seen in a while. Last night's episode had Talk Talk with the original "It's My Life", Lene Lovich-"New Toy" (written by Thomas Dolby, who is in the video), some Paul Westerberg, and Sinead O'Connor (I had forgotten that MC Lyte (for the old schoolers) showed up and ruined the "I Want Your Hands on Me" video). Hey, I know she went daft, but I still think Sinead looks pretty good with a shaved head.

Anyhow, my point is that you get very comfortable seeing these old videos. You see bad camera techniques, lots of animals running around, really dopey stuff. So, you cruise through the show and then there comes a moment in each epsiode where time stops. Because they never fail to come up with a video where you look at the TV, mouth agape, after saying, "What the fuck is this?" Yesterday, that moment arrived with "Control I'm Here" by Nitzer Ebb. Not really sure what actually happens in this video. "Hey, it's black and white...now it's color...what's that guy doing?...A priest?...Boy, he's hittin' that drum hard...Why is the singer wearing a Nitzer Ebb shirt?" Very confusing. Thank God, a few videos later, it was "Jesus Built My Hotrod" by Ministry. That'll make you stay awake.

Meal of Links

Here are some musicians who never recovered from releasing a Christmas single. The Vandals are doing quite nicely, thank you.

Christmas. A great time for...Bubble Wrap!!!

BTW, last week's episode of "Arrested Development" was genius. Omigod, they had Peanuts Christmas references!!! Whenever something terrible happened, they played "Christmas Time is Here" as the character got the "Gumby Shoulders" and slinked away. They even had the son, George Michael, pass a doghouse with a beagle on it! "I should be in that poof!" might be the line of the year.

Exercise Yard

Track is getting tough on dopers. Michelle Collins got banned without a positive test. And for 8 years. Wow.

Visitor

I am protesting today's dumbass theme: 37 across "Artless". Nonsensical.

Isolation Thought

I'm watching CNN and they are live from Columbus at the club where Dimebag got killed. There were about 75 people attending a vigil when you hear some guy yelling. Then into the frame runs a streaker. He prances around and yells for a while. Anderson Cooper tells the reporter, "It was hard to concentrate on your report because there was a naked guy behind you."

Peter J. Franklin died recently. For those of my age group who were into sports, there was no one like Pete. The man invented sportstalk as we know it today. And he was doing this back in the 70s. He was so popular that he convinced the Indians to have "Beat the Yankee Hankee Night" at Municipal Stadium. The crowds the day before and after that game would be crap, but they'd have at least 25,000 show up each year for that one. His greatest show each year was when he would bury the Indians, complete with the hokiest funeral music he could find. The Indians were so bad, you never knew when he would do it. Could be May, maybe June or July. I swear he buried them in April once. Pete was a great historian, knew sports ("good pitching beats good hitting") and was a trivia whiz.

Funny story. I have never forgotten the time a guy called his show and challenged Pete to tell him when the Tigers and Lions played in Detroit on the same day in the same stadium. Pete was puzzled and the guy said I'll call tomorrow with the answer. Next day, show moves along and the guy calls back. Pete was humbled and said he couldn't recall it happening. The guy's answer was that the only time the Tigers and Lions played in the same stadium on the same day in Detroit was when...The Clyde Beatty Circus was in town at Briggs Stadium in like 1947 or something. Of course, Pete yelled at the guy for about 10 minutes, a Franklin trademark. Truly an icon in local radio. His death recalls a simpler time when people actually listened to radio because it had a local identity, courtesy of folks like Pete Franklin.

Meal of Links

Jesus got hurt the other day. He's probably day-to-day on a much grander scale.

Was that hell freezing over? No, it was Denise Dufala getting engaged. The scary thing about this photo is not its age, but that someone owns a John Telich-autographed item. And does the man on the right have any legs?

Jay-Z is named President of Def Jam. I'm so old school I didn't know Russell Simmons sold his stake in Def Jam. In 1999!

Exercise Yard

Mia Hamm retired. Now she can concentrate on getting her husband off "the clear".

Visitor

27 Across: Ebbets Field favorite (5 letters) Answer: Reese

Isolation Thought

I went to see the movie "Sideways" with Paul Giamatti over at the Cinemark. While I'm getting ripped off at the concession stand, this guy next to me orders popcorn in a very distinct, yet familiar voice. I look over and it's Harvey Pekar's nerdy friend, Toby whats-his-name. Oddly enough, Paul Giamatti played Harvey Pekar in the movie, "American Splendor". I found that interesting for some reason. Anyhow, Toby went to see "Finding Neverland".

"Sideways" was terrific. My God, a movie written for adults! Very funny. And it shows how some people can get really get into wine. I mean really get into wine. Nice touch where Paul Giamatti has a scene looking at old photographs and there was one with him and his Dad. His real Dad, Bart Giamatti, the late baseball commissioner. But Giamatti can play losers with the best of them and everyone in the cast was really good. Definitely worth seeing.

Meal of Links

Great to see Loretta Lynn pick up some Grammy nominations. "Van Lear Rose" is a very cool album.

La Scala reopened once more. I'm not sure I like opera, but this seemed like a big deal.

When shopping online, always try and find some discount codes. Sometimes you can save big.

Exercise Yard

Mike Tyson jumped on a car. At least he didn't hit some old guy in the package. Or was that O.J.?

Visitor

42 Across: Hockey legend (3 letters) Answer: Orr

Isolation Thought

These thoughts have popped into my head recently:

It was Pearl Harbor Day today. Such an infamous day and it slips by unnoticed for the most part these days.

Matthew Lesko is one strange dude.

The list of potential coaches for the Notre Dame football job is pretty weak.

I didn't know the tree that blew down on Public Square was the city's Christmas tree. I thought they trucked in some random trees, but it was the only one.

One of those kids who come to your door to sell stuff showed up yesterday. I was willing to give him money, but I sat through his pitch anyhow. I figured he could use the practice because people would shut their doors, yell at him, etc. It was raining and it was December. If it was June, he would have got zilch. BTW, the candy was shitty.

The Christmas lines at Best Buy are starting to lengthen. Long line at lunch at Chapel Hill today. But that line was right by the plasma TVs. I'm reaching for credit cards, rewards zone cards, anything to get one. Then I woke up.

The Saturday crosswords have become more difficult over the last month.

Lou Dobbs is an angry old coot. I heard him address steroids this way, "The abominable behavior exhibited by so-called professionals..." True. But isn't he supposed to just read the news and not editorialize? That's so Action News of him.

Jim Brown can still whip your ass.

We are attending a Cavs game on the 21st from work and we got our tickets today. We are sitting in one of those boxes behind the basket. You know, where they have those swivel chairs, and you always wondered how those people got the tickets. Well, we're in them, baby. Should I yell at Spree?

It bothers me that on the very early "Seinfeld" episodes, Jerry actually asks George for advice.

Does anyone besides me carry cash?

My car does not like windy conditions very much.

The Christmas song I've fallen in love with this year is "Grandpa's Last Xmas" by The Vandals.

Meal of Links

NASA is putting you in harm's way by providing such close shuttle launch access. Cue up (written by Graham Parker, of course) Dave Edmunds' "Crawlin' From the Wreckage".

The Top 100 Overlooked Films of the 90s. Good stuff here. Most of them are worth the effort to see. I defy anyone not to have allergies act up during #13. And several comedies on the list: "Waiting for Guffman", The Hudsucker Proxy" (sure, sure), "Flirting With Disaster", "Mystery Men" (the "blame thrower" almost cost me a lung, I laughed so hard). It seems that a lot of movies with Tim Robbins made the list, too.

Craig Freguson is named host of "The Late Late Show". Did not see his tryout shows, but I heard they were good.

Exercise Yard

Peter King had some interesting things about the Browns in his MMQB column.

Visitor

21 Down: Patriotic Uncle (3 letters) Answer: Sam

Isolation Thought

I thought Montgomery Ward closed.

Meal of Links

The BBC cuts 6,000 jobs. I expect this newsman will be axed.

Humans love their tigers. The lemur gets no attention.

You may want to choose one of these jokes for your Christmas parties.

Exercise Yard

Calvin Murphy is acquitted of all charges.

Visitor

46 Across: Henry Higgins's protege (14 letters) Answer: Eliza Doolittle

Isolation Thought

I've decided that folks with yellow ribbons on the backs of their cars do not drive well. Keep your eyes peeled, you'll see what I mean. They seem...lost.

Meal of Links

eBay is gettin' kinda weird lately. Now, it's the grandfather's ghost sale. Do an eBay search on "grandfather ghost" to read the parodies. Many are funny. Especially "uncle ghost".

The Top 10 Cheesy Movie Lines. None from "Cheesy Rider".

Are the media afraid of the FCC?

Exercise Yard

I am glad I didn't have to sit through the Browns-Patriots debacle today. The Browns started on fire and played decently until the half. Then reality set in. The crowd that remained at the conclusion could not have numbered more than 2,000. It's all about the talent. The Browns have given up 100 points the last two weeks. This has shades of the end of the Chris Palmer era written all over it.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

I was at the Alseci's Christmas party last night and it was fun, as always. But attendance has been an issue the last couple of years. I can remember several years ago when it was asses-to-elbows crowded, but those days appear to be over. However, it's always neat to go out during the holidays and mingle.

To take the edge off today, I got some takeout from the local China House. Man, I love hot and sour soup. It may have the texture of motor oil, but that hits the spot on a cold day. Toss in a shrimp roll and a visit from General Tso and that's a great lunch.

Meal of Links

Bad fads. I've done, worn and owned many of these things.

"McEnroe" finally gets the boot from the CNBC lineup. Might have been the most heavily-promoted, but lowest-rated show ever. Johnny Mac is great in the tennis booth, but he was in way over his head on this one.

For those who choose to buy books online, this search tool compares prices at 14 different retailers. As an example, I searched for the book, "The Big Horse", which I own. Overstock has it for $13.31, Amazon for $15.61 and Powells for $22.95.

Exercise Yard

The steroid scandal is really heating up. I obviously don't agree with those who feel this is much ado about nothing. Because I think younger and younger athletes are doing this kind of stuff, without really knowing what they are putting in their bodies. And the fact is, the less affluent can't afford the designer kind of steroid we read about at the professional level. They tend to go after the cheapest, and by default, the more dangerous substances, without a clue as to what they are doing. Execellent work once again, by the San Francisco Chronicle. Your Pulitzer awaits you.

Visitor

6 Down: Grandson of Germanicus (4 letters) Answer: Nero

Isolation Thought

I went to see the comedian Lewis Black at the House of Blues last night. Unfortunately, my brother Jeff could not make it due to illness, but my cousin Gale was in town and was his proxy. Lew was on his game and was really funny. Topics included: Thanksgiving, the difference between Christmas and Hanukkah, the Bible, gay marriage, and, of course, the election. We were upstairs and the only flaw was people talking. One was an HOB employee, who should have known better. Here is the scoop on the club.

The front entrance faces Euclid and you have to line up outside before the doors open. Everyone stands out there-VIP, reserved or general admission. Upon entering, you get a wristband that proves you are 21, so you are not carded at the bars inside. Very nice lobby includes a coat check for $4.00. When you finally get to the inside doors, you are wanded for objects. Upon entering, you have a choice of upstairs or down. Downstairs has reserved seating on the sides with a mosh pit in front of the stage. Upstairs has reserved seating around the whole theatre, not many rows though. Behind them is general admission (both up and down), which if you are lucky means you can get a stool or even a table behind the reserved, but you must arrive early as we found out. Those seats went super fast. Monitors throughout the place capture the performing artist. Two bars on each level. Crown Royal and soda was $6.50 and Michelob Ultra (in a can) was $3.50. No bottles or draft beer. If there was a way to get from the club to the restaurant, we didn't look for it. We exited on Euclid and the restaurant is around the corner directly across from Pickwick and Frolic on East 4th.

The food at the restaurant was good. Lots of entrees and only about three sandwiches. The sandwiches were a club, a burger and a chicken sammie. I had the burger. The only other non-big meal item around $10 was a bruschetta pizza that Gale got. Pepsi products from the fountain and bottles of beer in the restaurant. Strip steak and ribs were about $24 and I think pasta might have been around $10. Lots of salads to choose from and a cornbread side looked really good. Happy hour has $2 beers, $3 imports and $4 martinis and margaritas.

Meal of Links

I heard what could possibly be the worst Christmas song ever recorded. "Deck the Halls" by the Christmas Carol Cats. Ear-splittingly awful.

The word of the year is...fugazy. No, it's blog.

SpongeBob is getting kidnapped at Burger Kings all over the place. Plankton is suspected.

Exercise Yard

No one knew that this was coming. The United States has revamped Ryder Cup qualifying.

Visitor

54 Across: Environmental activist Brockovich (4 letters) Answer: Erin

Isolation Thought

I'm at home today, as I finally got my crown put in today. I didn't need my Tingly Chin outfit. Think of me as the ATM for dentists, because while I was there he suggested a cleaning and an exam. I think my guy has named the new wing on his house, or perhaps his boat, after me.

I'm going to see Lewis Black at the House of Blues this evening. This will give me an opportunity to check the place out. It sounds pretty cool and let's hope it doesn't become too popular, as we need to keep the local places alive.

Meal of Links

Hollywood is determined to replay the Betamax vs. VHS war all over again.

In case you had some questions about the HD-satellite service, Voom. I still don't have an HDTV...but I sense it's arrival is near.

The deep, dark secrets of eating sushi.

Exercise Yard

Anna Benson makes me wanna be a batboy.

Visitor

31 Across: Reeves of "The Matrix" (5 letters) Answer: Keanu

Isolation Thought

I am convinced that the chick in the Kohl's Christmas commercials used to be on ESPN's "BodyShaping". Omigod, she's married to ESPN's Chris Fowler! Who knew?

Meal of Links

Free Fiona Apple. I got nothin'.

Just a thought, but is George Clooney not promoting "Ocean's Twelve" because of a bad back...or because it sucks?

Freak Boy finally lost on "Jeopardy". Ahead by $4,400 going into "Final Jeopardy, Jennings stumbled on this Business and Industry clue: Most of this firm's 70,000 seasonal white-collar employees work only four months a year. Jennings wrongly answered, "What is FedEx?" Real estate agent Nancy Zerg of Ventura, Calif., responded, "What is H&R Block?" I guessed the IRS. At least, I got the gist of it. As Keith Olbermann said, "It's Brokaw, Rather and now Jennings leaving."

Exercise Yard

Cleveland Browns Version 2.2 dropped today. Butch Davis had to go because the fans have had enough. But if you look at this season, he went to overtime against the Eagles, beat the Ravens once, went to the last play in the Ravens other game. That's not bad. But really bad games against the Steelers probably cost him more than he would like to admit, as the team decided not to show up for those games. I'm not a Davis fan, as he was an awful evaluator of talent, causing the new GM and coach to blow it up and start over again. Look for Phil Savage of the Ravens to get serious GM consideration. We can worry about a coach after that choice is made.

Visitor

60 Across: Singer Campbell (4 letters) Answer: Glen

Isolation Thought

I'm sitting here watching Hall and Oates "Headline Act" on VH1 Classic. I really like their songs, but their collection of videos has to be the worst of any major act out there. They are awful.

Meal of Links

The new Band Aid single got released today. Should be #1 soon.

The AFLAC duck makes his acting debut in "Lemony Snicket".

Here is a Yahoo! screen capture from 1996. Yes, technology moves fast.

Exercise Yard

Barrera-Morales III is considered the fight of the year and the replay is on Home Box this Saturday. I've read claims ranking it with Ali-Frazier II as one of the all-time best.

Visitor

9 Down: Rags-to-riches author Horatio (5 letters) Answer: Alger

Isolation Thought

If you get a chance, watch the one-man show on Showtime by Christopher Titus. It is called "Christopher Titus: Norman Rockwell is Bleeding". It's 90 minutes and I laughed really hard for most of them. You may remember him from his Fox show.

Great quote from the Norfolk State coach, Dwight Freeman, after the CSU loss: "They did what they had to do to win, and we did what we had to do to lose." Genius.

Meal of Links

The father, the son and the holy toast. OK, I stole it. It's funny.

How to kill yourself like a man.

As stated earlier, manners are very important at Thanksgiving. Note to Palacios family, you may not want to invite Uncle Frank next year.

Exercise Yard

The best "Seinfeld" sports moments. Come on!! Kramer tossing chin music at Joe Pepitone during Yankees Fantasy Camp was Honorable Mention? My God, it resulted in him knocking out Mickey Mantle: "...somebody pulls me from behind, you know, and I turned around and I popped him. I looked down, and woah man, it's Mickey. I punched his lights out."

Kramer drops the names of Moose Skowron, Hank Bauer and Clete Boyer. It's also the episode where Babu Bhatt gets deported. Easily in the top 5.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

Open letter to owner of Chevy: The act of putting a parking ticket you received onto my windshield does not absolve you of payment. Officer Marshall, I'm on the case.

I went to the Cleveland State basketball game today for a rare matinee contest. They played Norfolk State, which played an ugly game. Norfolk had real problems scoring at the start of each half. CSU had an 11-0 run to start the game and Norfolk went a long, long time without scoring in half number two. CSU wins, 79-47. Hard to tell where they stand until they play Kent in two weeks.

Went to Pacers for the first time after the game. You know, where they serve the best ribs in the world or some other self-designated title. It wasn't too bad. They had some steak bites that were pretty good and I had some grilled salmon that was OK. But the highlight for me was hearing what beers they had on draft. The typical Bud, Bud Light, Coors Light, MGD and then something like "Ghenny's and Gilligan's". I already had my mind made up on MGD before I heard the last two, but I believe she was referring to Guinness and Killian's. Last time I looked, those were not hard to pronounce.

Meal of Links

A bunch of oil spilled into the Delaware River. But what about the mud?

Remember those kids who sang on "Another Brick in the Wall" by Pink Floyd? They want their royalties. "We don't need no education...just some good lawyering."

The world's best and worst parks. I have actually been at the 4th best square or plaza in the world. And the 3rd worst. Fair and balanced.

Exercise Yard

It looks like Ron Artest found some work. "...the same trajectory as regular beer."

Visitor

21 Across: Ray of "Unlawful Entry" (6 letters) Answer: Liotta

Isolation Thought

Another Thanksgiving is in the books. I'm announcing that I am a free agent for next year's Thanksgiving. I am auctioning off myself quite early to ensure the best possible Thanksgiving...for me. Here is what I could bring to your table:

1. A decent appetite. (However, I do not eat yams nor cranberries. Nor related items.)
2. Impeccable manners. (Well, at least I say please and thank you.)
3. I provide banter, repartee and even whimsy, if you prefer.

An example of Number 3 from yesterday. The scene: Little kid wants to play Transformer Power Rangers (he had two of 'em) in the worst way with unnamed adult.

Kid: "Will you be evil?"
Adult: "No."
Kid: "Come on."
Adult: "It's a holiday. I don't think we should be evil today."
Kid (in truly a From Mouths of Babes moment): "Well, I know we're both good, but can one us of be a little bit bad, so we can play."
Adult then relays story (I witnessed the original) to everyone, resulting in mega laughs. However, kid puts his hands over his ears (earmuffs!!) and shuts everyone out. His holiday ruined because he thinks all are making fun of him, because of unnamed adult.
Adult (looking at me): "Don't even say a word."
Jim: "Hey, man. I'm Switzerland on this one."
Adult: "Yeah and I'm Nazi Germany."
Jim: "And that poor kid is Poland...in 1939."

So, start the insanity!

It always puzzles me why anyone would go shopping on this day early in the morning. The key is don't look for the "doorbuster" sale types, look for the really good deals you think can last throughout the day. For instance, two insane deals at Best Buy. Spy Sweeper, a really good anti-spam software was cheap along with insane deals on memory for digital cameras. I strolled in after I went to Thistledown and plenty of stock on those items and no lines. See, people tend to hit these stores early or it's a mall day. These stand-alone places work out well. The early part of next week is also a great time to shop. Never understood the early Friday stuff. I'm waiting for the switch to 4:30 openings.

Thistledown was OK. Not a very good weather day. I didn't last very long. Hit a $60 exacta in the 6th and it was get outta Dodge time.

Meal of Links

If you like words, check this out.

This explains why that woman in Akron was so upset that her collard greens were stolen. BTW, I saw this story on Action News yesterday. Did anyone see the 4:00 or 5:00 editions where everyone was wearing a sweater. My God, the old anchor at 4 looked like he should have been smoking a pipe. And the 5:00 crew needed a fireplace as a background. Very strange.

Salma and her Hayeks are worshipped by an entire African tribe.

Exercise Yard

Florida Atlantic seniors decided to skip practice as a stunt. Whoops, they didn't think the coach would be mad.

Visitor

45 Across: Actress Rogers (4 letters) Answer: Mimi

Isolation Thought

Nothing beats starting Thanksgiving with Hangover Remedy No. 76, some Gatorade and a few whole wheat pretzel twists. Gatorade should come out with a milk flavor, so I could pour it over Raisin Bran. Anyhow, there is some serious stuff falling from the sky right now. It appears to be rain, freezing rain and snow all lumped together. Kinda noisy, but I didn't plan on having to scrape my car today. But it lasted all of about 2 minutes. My Thanksgiving priorities are out of whack just a bit, when my main goal is to find a Daily Racing Form for tomorrow's action. Most head to the malls, I head to the track.

Mushy time: Hopefully, we all have many things to be thankful for. Number one on my list is all of my friends and family. I consider myself lucky to have somehow stumbled upon such a great group of people and their participation in my life causes me to be eternally grateful.

BTW, a huge pox should be sent Kmart's way. Why is this store open on Thanksgiving? Give your workers a break. It reminds of the old Zayre's stores. Remember when they were the first to have 24-hour shopping during the holidays? I guess it worked because they kept doing it, but have you ever been in a messier store during December? Can't fault them too much though, because I bought Devo's first album there, and I have a bit of fondness for them.

Meal of Links

Murphy and Tabish found not guilty of Ted Binion's death. Their first trial was covered in the book, "Positively Fifth Street", a terrific book about poker by James McManus. One of the best reads I've had in a long time.

Tom Shales checks in with some "Seinfeld" commentary. I watch these shows, know what's coming and I still laugh out loud.

Here is a list of the Top 50 cover songs ever.

Exercise Yard

Be thankful we have LeBron. Probably the greatest star this town has had since Jim Brown. And he's not yet 20 years old.

Visitor

47 Across: "Losing My Religion" band (3 letters) Answer: REM

Isolation Thought

I think this is one of those nights where I think, better yet know, I'll be somewhat hungover throughout the holidays. Because I would say my current condition is near blotto. Which makes it extremely difficult to type. As the guy at Ajax Liquor Store would mention, "I'm just trying to work up enough nerve to go to confession." Happy to be living in not a red state (I almost spelled that read), not a blue state, but a state of incoherence, I'll try and slug my way through this.

Meal of Links

Here's an economist who predicts an economic Armageddon. But he doesn't have the cojones to go public with his prediction. Happy Thanksgiving.

A tribute to turkey hand art. Who says we don't teach our children anything in school. Happy Thanksgiving.

Can we get through maybe one holiday without an article on tips about the holiday? Happy Thanksgiving.

Exercise Yard

Icing a kicker actually works. Unless you're Phil Dawson and owe one to the mob.

Visitor

Across Down: Cooke of "Letter from America" (8 letters) Answer: Alistair

Isolation Thought

I failed to mention I was traumatized on Sunday at Giant Eagle. No, it wasn't 15 items packed in 15 paper bags. Well, it was, but that was not the reason for horror. The lines were long and I was in a hurry to watch the Browns game. I finally moved into the on-deck slot, where you put your items on the belt while waiting to pay. Then I notice this lady in front of me looking at what I bought and suddenly I became very territorial. I noticed she was eyeing my jar of cocktail sauce. I had purchased a jar of Heluva Good. Then I see her actually pick up the jar and start reading the label. Then she put it back. I must say, this freaked me out and I couldn't speak.

Who does this in line? Who picks up one of your items without asking? Why not a "Hey, I noticed that jar." or "Mmmm, I didn't know Heluva Good made cocktail sauce." or "Why don't I mind my own freakin' business and not pick up that jar and annoy that guy." I mean I don't make comments like, "Who buys Trix cereal, you loser." or "Milk of Magnesia. Oh, who has a sore tum-tum?" or "Cheetos suck, old-timer!" I'm still amazed. Please, if you see me at the grocery, keep your meathooks off of my stuff. And speed up the line.

Meal of Links

A trip down memory lane. The 1984 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Only 20 years ago, but it seems we were not too picky about our entertainment value back then.

This billboard of our President congers up images of a an old travelogue from say, China or Russia.

Dan Rather is leaving CBS News. The race to find his replacement is tighter than the lugnuts on a '55 Ford.

Exercise Yard

It'll cost you more to see the Red Sox next year. Make that the World Series Champion Boston Red $ox.

Visitor

36 Across: Singer Apple (5 letters) Answer: Fiona

Isolation Thought

I know I keep crowing about it, but "Arrested Development" is the funniest show on TV. Both "The Simpsons" and "Arrested Development" made me laugh out loud several times yesterday. I can't imagine anyone else even being considered for the Michael Bluth role besides Jason Bateman. His work on this show is stellar, especially for someone who had been given up for dead, as far as series work was concerned. Each week, I feel this show cannot get any better. But it does. Martin Mull is now on as private investigator, Gene Parmesan. Everyone needs to watch it.

Meal of Links

It appears that VHS may have died in Britain over the weekend.

Robin Quivers may get her own daily talk show. Which pretty much clinches that all of us will eventually get our own talk shows.

What the hell is Target.com selling these days?

Exercise Yard

Nine folks from the Pistons-Pacers brawl have already filed assault charges. I think this is a picture of the person Ron Artest hit first.

Visitor

9 Across: '50s variety show host "Lonesome" George (5 letters) Answer: Gobel

Isolation Thought

Cleveland State basketball has started and as a season ticket holder, it was good to see them win yesterday. With that win they have reached 25% of their win total from last year, which illustrates the train wreck that was the 2003-2004 season. Of course, they defeated Hillsdale College, that bastion of conservative discourse. It is a Division II school not known for developing the Terrell Buckleys of the world, but more like developing the William F. Buckleys of the world. But no matter, a win's a win and the pep band was back!

But the highlight of any Saturday evening game is the post-game dinner at Sokolowski's. I love it there and it wasn't too crowded. Salisbury steak (my favorite), mashed potatoes (as Joe Tait would say, "Wham with the right hand!"), corn, salad and lemon meringue pie washed down with lemonade. Instant sleep.

Meal of Links

The grand reopening of the MoMA is debuting this week to strongly positive reviews.

The Rolling Stone list of the top 500 songs of all-time. Let's compare, as I love these artists. There are 4 Al Green songs and only 3 Elvis Costello songs. And except for "What's So Funny (Bout Peace, Love and Understanding)?", all of the Reverend Al's tunes rated higher and "Tired of Being Alone" is only 9 behind Elvis. Green's version of "Take Me to the River" is 117, and the Talking Heads cover of that song (and EVERY OTHER SONG they ever did) is not on the list? Uh-uh. I like Salt-N-Pepa's "Push It", but not one Heads song is better than that? Ouch. U2 has six and The Who have five on the list. The debate begins.

A primer on how to fold a shirt. The video must be from that TV show, "The Iron Mom".

Exercise Yard

You know the Browns suck, when the first article on them appears in today's Plain Dealer on page (ahem) C-15.

Lat night, another of my favorite boxers, Winky Wright, pounded out a decision over "Sugar" Shane Mosley on HBO. Both fighters exuded class and professionalism.

Did Michigan play yesterday? I have this link, but didn't read it.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

For some reason, I have an overwhelming rush of Christmas spirit today. I am compiling some holiday CDs and I must say if you are going to buy any Christmas music this year, it's probably gotta be Chris Isaak. His version of "Mele Kalikimaka" is a killer, as it really shows off his vocal range. And the Barenaked Ladies have a pretty good disc out, as well.

I started to compile my Christmas list and realized there are a lot of good books out there this year. I've pretty much given up on CDs, as I download most of my choices anyway. But I'm still working on it, as I have some DVDs and the usual stuff.

So I did some live holiday shopping (I can't believe it either) by visiting the friendly folks at Borders and dropping a bundle. And with the sale at Deep Discount DVD, I'm getting a head start on the online stuff.

Meal of Links

Judging appears to be getting tougher and tougher. Skating, gymnastics and now the National Book Awards all seem to suffer from increasingly strange decisions.

Everything you wanted to know about the samples on the Beastie Boys' "Paul's Boutique". They were successful defendants against a sample (for which they had paid) lawsuit recently. Although the Sugar Hill Gang is now filing one.

Once again, they found the Missing Link. Well, not really THE Missing Link, but kind of like his brother-in-law.

Exercise Yard

Things got pretty ugly at that Pistons-Pacers brawl last night. There appeared to be not enough security personnel at the Palace. Because these players and fans were really throwing down. The funniest part was when these two jamokes wander onto the court and Ron Artest, then Jermaine O'Neal, blast these guys with some big time blows. Apparently they forgot NBA players are big men. Looks like Artest may get some time off to promote that CD anyhow. And the Pacers probably become even more of a tight-knit team. Tough for the league, too, on a day when Dwyane Wade is fast becoming a superstar in the league by hitting a last-second game winner. The good thing is we can now stop talking about T.O.

Quick note: At least Michigan coach Lloyd Carr responded cordially to halftime questioning this year at the OSU game.

Visitor

58 Across: "All right, everybody line up alphabetically according to your height" speaker (7 letters) Answer: Stengel

Isolation Thought

It's the time of the year when I start dreaming of gadgets. The absolute worst thing to show up on my doorstep was the Crutchfield Christmas catalog. Then Best Buy shows up today and gives all Reward Zone members no interest until 2007. I have uncontrollable shakes currently. Must...have....gadgets...No, stop it!...Losing...strength....L......C........D............T................V. Aaargh!

Meal of Links

And everyone thought that calling shotgun was easy.

"But I don't wanna be a pirate!" Same episode that has George getting a job as a hand model. "Don't worry about me, I won a contest." Coincidentally, "The Contest" is this evening's episode.

So this lady's on her deathbed and points the authorities to her dead husband. He wasn't really taking a dirt nap, he was kind of in cold storage. I think she not only had the fear of God, but I think she may have forgotten to update her next of kin information, and got caught.

Exercise Yard

From the land of unfortunate headlines.

Visitor

16 Across: Beatles girl with a "little white book" (4 letters) Answer: Rita

Isolation Thought

While sitting around waiting for "Pom Pom Perverts" on Fox 8 News tonight, I'm wondering when the NFL Network will come to digital cable.

But I can't be ecstatic enough about XM Satellite Radio. On the way home, I hear Beck, XTC, Haircut 100 and Sinead O'Connor all in a row. I'm telling you, it beats the old car radio by a mile. And the Christmas channels start in a week!!!

For those days when you sit to write and say, "I got nothin'." Here are some tips to whip writer's block.

Meal of Links

For those who are living in a cave, here is the T.O. MNF video that everyone is yapping about. Note T.O trying for the Emmy. He makes Don Drysdale's late 60's sitcom appearances look like "Hamlet".

Jude Law takes the title of "Sexiest Man Alive". People Magazine has obviously never visited Cleveland.

The Leonid Meteor Shower is tonight, if you're up late and the clouds go away. That'll wrap it for this century, as the Leonids come back in 2006 and then go away for a long time.

Exercise Yard

Does anyone realize that the Detroit Tiger payroll will be $70 million next season? It appears they are making a commitment to winning. The Tigers started by signing Troy Percival. Keep this in mind as the Tigers sign more free agents and the Indians payroll rests at about $35 million for next season.

Visitor

32 Across: "Love Story" costar( letters) Answer: O'Neal

Isolation Thought

It can't be a bad day when you find $42 in your pocket. Maybe I can buy some Dead Schembechlers merchandise. I like Michigan, and even I think it's funny.

Meal of Links

Here are a couple of Sharon Reed photos.

How to make the best paper airplane in the world.

If you run into G-Unit's Young Buck, tell him he's wanted. By the police.

Exercise Yard

Today is not only Butch Davis' birthday, it's also the "Heidi Game" anniversary.

Visitor

13 Across: Actor Guinness (4 letters) Answer: Alec

Isolation Thought

The curse of Marc's continues. I defy anyone to go into that place and leave with just one item. It starts with milk, then sour cream, and by the time I'm leaving I have kosher dills and diced tomatoes, among other things, in the cart. Unbelievable.

Meal of Links

I missed Sharon Reed getting naked "for the art" (and record ratings) on Action News last night. But here's a story from the hooker anchor's past. Let's hope weatherman Biff doesn't follow suit.

Now they're mashing videos. Here's the Grey Video, combining the Beatles and Jay-Z. I think it's pretty cool.

How to respond properly to e-mails that piss you off.

Exercise Yard

R. Kelly. Sex Tape. With Gary Sheffield's wife. I wonder how old she was when it was taped.

Visitor

28 Down: Onetime Mrs. Bogart (6 letters) Answer: Bacall

Isolation Thought

I'd hate to think the highlight of yesterday's Browns game was receiving a Chunky Chili coupon. Hell, we even suck in the Click for Cans contest.

Did anyone see Anna Nicole Smith at the American Music Awards? The video shows she was drunk. Maybe she is a Browns fan.

Meal of Links

Here's how the Band Aid single is going to be split up lyrically.

A nice ODB obituary.

For those who wanna make loud music. Click QWERTY and let the fun begin by choosing what you want played.

Exercise Yard

Red Bull buys the Jaguar F1 team. And it looks like American drivers might be in their future.

Visitor

35 Down: Bert's Muppet buddy (5 letters) Answer: Ernie

Isolation Thought

Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Browns fans.

Randomness from today's Browns home game:

My brother Jeff was today's special guest. He was present at the only game the Browns Version 2.1 (they were Version 2.0 at the time) defeated the Steelers at home.

Early word was that William Green and Joey Porter were ejected. Before the game! Would seem to favor the Browns on that exchange. Nope.

Today's giveaway: Browns Number One foam finger from Alltel. I think I'll pass, although Cowher and the Steelers were told to sit on it many times.

The cold weather seemed to have killed the smells everywhere, except during the second quarter when I believe someone died in my section.

Running game was non-existent. I like Garcia, but once again his two turnovers were killers. An interception at the Steeler goal line and a fumble returned for a TD. Unacceptable.

The G.E. Smith Band has now progressed from the Budweiser Barking Lot to inside the Stadium to a field location to now having a dugout on the field protecting them from the weather. I am anticipating a glass-enclosed booth by the end of the year. Still don't know how they can play in December. Jeff rightly points that those old-timers from that little combo at Municipal Stadium seemed to play in the winter all the time. Duly noted, but maybe they were drunk.

See ya next year, Winslow. Dude.

A sedate crowd in Section 345 (and most of the Stadium), but lots of Steelers fans and they were loud.

Best line from me (to a drunk wearing a Browns helmet, which I think he bought at Silverman's, walking up the aisle carrying a beer): "Hey, Couch. How ya doin'?"

Best line from a random (to the ref, after he gave the Steelers a TD which was negated, standing on the one): "Hey, Ref. You have an IQ equal to the yardline you're standing on."

Best defacing of a #2 jersey: Really didn't see any.

Oddest Browns jersey (Three-way tie): 56 Rainer, 12 Testaverde, 42 Kirby

Best shirt (a really nerdy guy wearing a t-shirt with blurred lettering): "No Sex Causes Bad Eyesight"

$4 hot dog was purchased.

Asinine halftime contest is still there. Neither team crossed the goal, one didn't cross the 50. Horrible. Flag football was also played at the half and was fun.

Beggar solicitations: 1 (after the game on West 6th...not Marvin Connor.)

Some boas today (even worn by one guy), but no lap dancing.

Bad high school cheerleading.

Drunks were actually under control today, given the rivalry, and no ejections from our section.

The sing-along from Dave & Buster's. The song: "Old Time Rock and Roll". Again. Have they stopped at four songs? They didn't even have the lyrics up and just played the video of Tom Cruise from "Risky Business". Once more, my hatred for this song prevented any singing. Am I at a Browns game or a wedding? Today's crowd dutifully ignored it.

Once again, the Browns season ends in November: "Stick a fork in me, Bobby Hill. I am done." Looks like Cleveland Browns Version 2.2 is in beta testing.

The Browns second coldest (at least I was not freezing...freezing...freezing), but worst home game of the year. Browns lose, 24-10.

Meal of Links

How to make cheap vodka taste like good vodka. Now with my January unoccupied by Browns football, let the experiments begin.

Damn. Why did I remove Old Dirty Bastard from my 2004 Dead Pool? His 13 children will miss him.

Anyone up for a dog toy or marital aid quiz?

Exercise Yard

Omar Vizquel is no longer an Indian. Must have a good agent, because he got three years out of the Giants.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

First concession to the holiday season: the purchase of the Christmas cards.

However, with apologies to U2 (think of me the next time you see the iPod commercial):

Uno, dos, tres, quatorce

Hello hello
From Aisle 9 of Giant Eagle-O
They sell me shit that I don't even know
Except they give me these 10-for-10 deals
Deals

Of course, I was at the Iggle and that tune popped into my head. Not just because of the 10-for-$10 items, like apple juice. That one always cracks me up. I never buy apple juice and I see it in the weekly and actually say, "Mmmm. That's a good deal on apple juice. Maybe I'll get a couple. Doh!" Progresso is good on a 10-for-10, apple juice is not.

All of the shelves are now festooned with "We've lowered our prices" tags. As my Dad says, "Hah. Lower prices. See, they admit they've been screwin' ya for years. And we keep goin' back."

Anyhow, I needed to buy some barbecue sauce and has anyone seen this brand, "Bone Suckin' Sauce"? Now, maybe if you're local grocer was Doc Johnson or even Mr. Whipple, but I'm not sure I could buy it, in fear of a price check.

Meal of Links

Looks like Cheney lost his breath about a month late.

Modest Mouse is on SNL tonight. They'll do "Float On" and "Ocean Breathes Salty". I really like those two songs.

Lawyer watches "Law and Order". Says, "Hey, that's me." Sues. "Law and Order" writers get idea. Ripped from the headlines. Same lawyer watches that show and...

Exercise Yard

A UC Bearcat with a worldwide following.

Visitor

37 Down: Erich Weiss's stage name (7 letters) Answer: Houdini

Isolation Thought

I know they needed to bury Arafat quickly today, because of Ramadan. But that scene of the body arriving in Gaza was as disorganized a sight as I've ever seen. It was so comical with reporters saying, "Shots are being fired not in anger, but in celebration..." (don't those bullets have to land somewhere?) and the scene of the Jeep trying to transport the body from the helicopter was straight out of the "Keystone Kops". Very funny.

Meal of Links

I will go on the record and say even though Bill Maher is getting sued, his taste in women seems to have surpassed O'Reilly.

66 affiliates (including our own WEWS) cancelled ABC's running, on Veterans' Day mind you, of "Saving Private Ryan". Welcome to the post-Janet world.

A doctor says all food allergies could be eradicated within ten years.

Exercise Yard

I see where Gerard Warren wants to throttle Ben Roethlisberger on Sunday. Fine with me, and I admire the fire. But wouldn't you feel better about it, if the bounty came from a guy with more than 5 tackles on the season?

Visitor

31 Down: Actress Palmer (4 letters) Answer: Lili

Isolation Thought

I am reprising my starring role as "Tingly Chin" (my devastatingly handsome Asian spy alter ego) as I went to the dentist today. Man, when that anaesthetic gets into your gums for a while, it feels like that rush you get from a Peppermint Patty, only it doesn't go away.

I've been to the dentist so much this year, he told me I can do the prep for them the next time I go in (Hey, I've got your distal lingual, Bud). I started this root canal on September 9 and finally get the crown in on December 1. This canal (I should say canals) procedure will have taken 4 visits when all is said and done. I may not qualify for their 401K, but at least I have free use of their copier. But everything looks good and the next visit will not include any drilling or foul-tasting, gummy impression material.

Meal of Links

I really can't think of a more horrifying phrase than "Liza Minnelli forced sex on me."

Carson Daly won't burn a Yankee hat for charity. Poser.

Did you know that D.G. Yuengling & Son is America's fifth-largest brewery? I'm not sure I've ever had one.

Exercise Yard

My world ranking in the Sporting News Fantasy Basketball League is 937 out of 163, 017. But I'm third out of three in my league. Go figure. My team: Bron Bron and Michael Redd at Guard. Antawn Jamison and Chris Bosh at Forward. Alonzo Mourning at Center and clearly the best, cheap find, Bobby Simmons at 6th Man. Not bad, thus far.

Visitor

59 Across: 1973 "Battle of the Sexes" loser (10 letters) Answer: Bobby Riggs