Tuesday, July 31, 2007















My Dad and I braved a full moon and went to the Indians-Rangers game. My history lately with Texas has not been very good and tonight continued the trend. The Tribe wasted a good outing by Fausto Carmona when Casey Blake failed to come up with a sure double play grounder in the sixth, allowing two runs to score. That proved to be the winning margin in the 3-1 game.

The bats have seemingly gone to bed the last 10 days or so. I think Travis Hafner may have had the worst hitting game he's had in a long time, with three popups and a whiff. Ryan Garko, who I have now deemed my favorite Indian (because he's so damn goofy), homered for our only run. That was one of only four hits for the Indians. Meanwhile, the Yanks put up another big number against the White Sox. Uh-oh.

Meal of Links

A new way to wash clothes. Without that pesky detergent. It slices, it dices...

How to stay broke. Sounds basic, but actually there are several things on the list to avoid.

Wear a bracelet made from the guitar strings of your favorite rock star. Pete Townshend goes for $300.

Exercise Yard

Sally Jenkins has a really cool book out about the Carlisle School for Indians. You know, where Jim Thorpe toted the pigskin.

Visitor

18 Across: "The Beverly Hillbillies" star Buddy (5 letters) Answer: Ebsen

Monday, July 30, 2007

With all of these deaths today, where to start?

I'll start with Tom Snyder. Snyder was the host of the "Tomorrow" show on NBC during the seventies and if you were a night owl in those days, you were bound to watch his show. The format was great, it was smart TV, and the show remains one of my favorites. Just Tom, a guest and none of the trappings of the more traditional late night talk shows like Carson. Toward the end of his run on NBC, he had more musical guests on, which you can get on DVD (Iggy is there, too). U2 in 1981. Elvis Costello was another one who stood out. And the John Lydon guest spot remains a classic when Snyder told him, "It’s unfortunate that we are all out of step except for you."

What an intro he had,

“Fire up a colortini, sit back, relax, and watch the pictures, now, as they fly through the air."

Isn't that cool?

You could not help but notice four things off the bat while watching his show. One was that cigarette. You used to see the smoke just covering the set at times. His laugh, which was out of control most of the time, allowing for parody. He had a disarming habit of leaning towards his guest when he asked a question that might not be normally asked of a guest. And he would lose his train of thought every once in a while and then joke about it.

Sure he bounced around after "Tomorrow" on the radio, then CNBC and finally CBS. But the old shows remain the best. He's no Carson Daly and that's a good thing.

U2 on "Tomorrow"-1981

My God, are they young.



Meal of Links

The world of film lost a giant today with the passing of Ingmar Bergman. If Turner runs a retrospective, watch a bit of art.

The sponge is back! And the spongeworthy along with them.

Anthony Bourdain is back with "No Reservations" tonight on the Travel Channel. Must Eat TV.

Exercise Yard

Another loss today was that of Bill Walsh. The architect of the West Coast Offense was a true football genius. What else did he do? He was the first to recognize the importance of the left tackle on offense in his quest to stop Lawrence Taylor. Was a promoter of diversity on his coaching staff. He started to script plays at the beginning of each game. Thank God, Paul Brown, in one of his dumbest moves, named Tiger Johnson as his successor on the Cincinnati Bengals, instead of the heir apparent, Walsh. Who knows what would have happened to the Browns in those days?

All you need to do is look at the QBs that Walsh worked with to realize his genius. I'm not talking Joe Montana or Steve Young with the 49ers or Dan Fouts with the Chargers. Look at some of the quarterbacks he used early in his career or when Montana or Young were hurt and what they did in those seasons. My God, he had Virgil Carter at Cincinnati, a 62% passer in 1972. In 1979, Steve Deberg threw for 3600 yards for the 49ers for a team that won 2 games. Jeff Kemp, a guy run out of LA two years earlier, was a 60% passer in 1986 with Montana hurt. That is amazing.

Visitor

41 Across: Grammy winner Jones (5 letters) Answer: Norah

Sunday, July 29, 2007

While wondering if kids still try to catch fireflies...

Best Friend and I went over to the Cedar-Lee yesterday to see the documentary "Crazy Love". This story has characters so incredible, I'm not sure you could make a feature film, because the story is so sensational. No one would believe it.

It is the story of Burton and Linda Pugach. Burt was a married guy who was obsessed with Linda. After a while, she found out that he was married and broke off their relationship. She wound up engaged to another guy. This enraged Burt so much, he hired three guys to throw lye in her face. She was blinded. The story and trial were the big story in the press in New York in 1959. Burt went to prison and was paroled after 14 years. Then the weird part happens...he eventually married Linda!

You can't dream up shit like that! This was an excellent doc. Dan Klores also directed the Emile Griffith doc a couple of years ago and I really like his style. And we also got Elvis doing a hunka "Burning Love" over the closing credits. It's quite the story.

Meal of Links

Here is why bad grades don't mean squat. I agree, I never understood the "trick question" method.

Why the Democrats should be more passionate. And why they should throw out the laundry list.

Even the NYTimes has finally caught up with Perez Hilton

Exercise Yard

I wasn't too interested in the Wright-Hopkins replay last night on HBO. And I was definitely not interested in Vernon Forrest beating Carlos Baldomir for Mayweather's vacated title at 154.

But I was jazzed to hear this. Mayweather-Hatton is on for December 8. Somebody's "O" has got to go! Merry effin' Christmas.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

The new "Simpsons Movie" opened last night. Gale and I ventured over to the sold-out Crocker Park for this one. It surprised me that I was perhaps only three or four removed from wearing the chaperone hat, as there were a lot of youths in attendance. All I know is the movie made me laugh. Sure, it may have dragged in a couple of spots and it was really just a lengthier version of what you see on TV, but I thought it was a good time.

I laughed when Bart was writing on the chalkboard, "I will not illegally download this movie." Homer makes me laugh. Comic Book Guy made me laugh, too. I don't know, for all the negativity out there regarding "The Simpsons", I had fun.

Meal of Links

If the presidential candidates were NFL franchises. For instance, Sam Brownback = Cleveland Browns.

Time to stock up. Here are the 100 items most likely to disappear during a national emergency. Soy sauce checks in at Number 75.

Everything you wanted to know about the AK-47. Except that he plays for the Utah Jazz.

Exercise Yard

Henry Hill chimes in on the NBA betting scandal. Excellent read.

Visitor

29 Across: Dramatist Behan (7 letters) Answer: Brendan

Thursday, July 26, 2007

I've decided I don't like being under the weather very much. Although I'm able to function OK and seem to be getting better, I'm having a rougher time shaking this than I thought. BTW, my latest self-diagnosis is not tonsillitis, but sinusitis! Because I've had stuff coming out of me that, quite frankly, I'm not sure I've seen before. After Monday, this week has ended up being kind of a Gordon Ramsay write-off. "Shut it down!" And I'm looking forward to having some fun soon.

Meal of Links

Dana Delany joins "Desperate Housewives" with not much of a track record lately. Surprising they didn't hire Ted McGinley.

Keep this cat away from me. Hey, maybe he could be my Dead Pool pet, sneaking up on unsuspecting celebrities.

I am looking forward to the new Bourne movie next week. Matt Damon says Jason Bourne saved his career. I think he's right, never thought of him as an action guy until then.

Exercise Yard

Manny Ramirez gets "Simpsonized". BTW, he still mashes like a mother.

Visitor

9 Down: "Rats!" relative (3 letters) Answer: Bah

Wednesday, July 25, 2007














Yep, it's all downhill from here...

...and who didn't see that coming? Michael Rasmussen, the leader of the Tour de France, was sacked by his team for lying about his whereabouts for drug testing. And you thought the NFL, MLB and NBA had problems?

Meal of Links

David Lynch talks. The guy always fascinates me.

Blockbuster tells lies to their customers. Nice "Shaggy Dog" reference.

Speaking of movies, why does HBO insist on showing crappy ones? I'm not sure who the biggest culprit on cable is, but I do like the selection that HDnet has. I stumbled upon "The Searchers" one Saturday morning a couple of weeks back and it was a great companion on a sleepy day.

Exercise Yard

This guy liveblogged Mike & Mike's "Sportscenter" episode last night. And, what a surprise, it sucked. Today on "Sportscenter", they had some Barry Bonds Town Meeting from Frisco, WTF? Where are my highlights?

Visitor

5 Down: Guitarist Segovia (6 letters) Answer: Andres

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

While trying to survive the demise of Weekly World News:

Last night, I ventured over to the Winking Lizard before the Tribe-Red Sox game. There I visited with my goddaughter, her brother, brother's friend, Mom, and a couple of local friends. Everybody looked good and it was nice to see some of our Miami contingent, up from southern Ohio.

As far as the game was concerned, Jake Westbrook didn't look so good. He gave up 5 in the first two innings and that was a big rut to climb out from. So, it was kind of a sucky game and the Red Sox cruised to another win.

Meal of Links

After seeing her mugshot that reminded me of Tatum O'Neal, I feel compelled to offer my services to Lindsay Lohan. Whatever it costs for her rehab, I'll take half. I'll have the electronic fence up for her ankle bracelet so she can't escape, I mean, visit the bars. And, if she does not want to move here, I volunteer to be her driver. As Amy Winehouse sings, "They tried to make me go to rehab. I said no, no, no."

Keith Hernandez talks about his guest role on "Seinfeld". That was only 15 years ago. So many classics in this episode. "Ah, I'm jealous of everybody."

David Stern proves his worth as NBA commissioner. As predicted he said, "rogue" as in "rogue, isolated criminal".

Exercise Yard

More doping at this year's "Tour de France". It's now reached the comical stage, where Alexandre Vinokourov wins a stage and fails a drug test. The current wearer of the yellow jersey, Michael Rasmussen, has missed a couple of drug tests, resulting in a ban at the 2008 Olympics. So, even this win, if it happens, will be tainted.

Visitor

53 Down: "Picnic" playwright (4 letters) Answer: Inge

Sunday, July 22, 2007

I have been feeling a touch under the weather the last 10 days or so. I thought it was just a bad sore throat that was leading up to a cold, but my sense now was that it was probably tonsillitis. I had some bad throat pain for several days and then had the low grade fever going. Not enough to put me out of commission, but a nuisance nonetheless. But I think I'm climbing out of it. We'll see how it goes the next couple of days.

BTW, Cheez-It Parmesan and Garlic crackers are the new crack. Introduced into the workplace on Friday and I looked all weekend for a dealer.

Meal of Links

Here is a handy-dandy guide to the 2008 Presidential Candidates. Tracks their stances on topics ranging from abortion rights to the war to healthcare. Guiliani says, "Torture? I'm for it."

The 2008 version of the Olympics are in in Beijing next year. Obviously, there are several tours being offered. But the one that offers shooting with the Chinese is uber cool. Pay by the bullet or projectile! Both heavy and light weapons offered! Anti-aircraft rocket launcher! Sign me up.

This guy knows how to charm women.

Exercise Yard

Bill Simmons with a strong effort regarding the NBA referee betting scandal. Everyone is pointing to Game 3 of the Spurs-Suns series as a game that was reffed so poorly, it has potential fix written all over it.

I've had the good fortune to see some highlights from that game today (Thanks, YouTube) and there seems to be incompetence from all of the refs, not just Donaghy. This was the infamous game where Bruce Bowen kneed Steve Nash in the groin. Amare Stoudemire of Phoenix got whistled for two early fouls in the game and his fourth foul early in the second half was one of the worst calls imaginable, where he basically set up for position and Oberto got in his way and flopped. Nash was repeatedly hammered and repeatedly yelled at the officials. Coach D'Antoni got a technical, the announcers were questioning almost every call, and it was just a poor night all around.

The Suns are probably thinking what did they do to piss off the basketball gods. They lost Game 1 because they could not stop Nash's nose from bleeding. They lost players for Game 6, which they subsequently lost, with David Stern suspending them for leaving the bench during an altercation. And now they find a crooked ref worked Game 3, another loss. Amazing.

Visitor

None, it was a beautiful Sunday.

Friday, July 20, 2007

I got to visit a couple of my favorite haunts the last couple of nights. Last night, Drew and I headed over to O'Reilly's at Cedar Center. Ah, the specials were most of my favorites, including the Ribeye and the Turkey Burger, but I just had to select the Tomato Soup and that Po Boy. I couldn't get there early enough. I hate when work interferes with my ability to have an extra beer. I was shocked when Wheel of Fortune was changed on many TVs. To lacrosse, of all things. I wonder if Jeopardy is receiving the same treatment.

And tonight, my Dad and I headed over to the Union House. Apparently, he had not had a fish fry in a while, so I tagged along. I recommend it highly.

Meal of Links

The "Simpsonize Me" machine is up and running again. You can upload a photo and is it is "Simpsonized".

I got a letter from the Ohio State Department of Administrative Services a few days ago. DAS does not stand for Dumbass, but it could. Anyhow, I made the list. Yep, my info was on the infamous stolen laptop. The state tries to reassure you by saying only someone with "special knowledge" could crack the code. Yeah, I believe that one. BTW, the state also told us, at the start, that only 64,000 people were affected. That number is now up to 1.2 million. Oops. Heads are now rolling.

Another boost for "The Wire". If you haven't seen it, start now.

Exercise Yard

The NBA, especially David Stern, has to be agonizing over the referee betting scandal. I'm a fan of the league, but it is perpetually dogged by the thought that most people have...the game might be fixed. For years, we have joked that the refs "got the call from Stern" at halftime, and have cost the Cavs another game. I distinctly recall a playoff game in the early '90s against New Jersey, where the Cavs had built a decent lead at the half. In the third quarter, the calls started piling up against the Cavs and they ended up losing. Although not completely sold on the concept, after that game, the thought was permanently embedded in my brain as a possibility.

I'm sure we'll hear that it's the actions of a troubled rogue referee, but it shows how a ref can easily control the outcomes of games through foul calls, violations and ejections. Especially when he has two different partners for each game.

Visitor

25 Across: "Phooey!" (3 letters) Answer: Bah

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

This mid-year report on movies released in 2007 reminds me I have to catch up on some of these I missed. Uh-oh, "Premonition" with Sandra Bullock was the third-worst so far this year. Be sure to pick up the DVD that just came out. Having paid to see it, I have a premonition that it sucks.

Meal of Links

I liked the fact the White Stripes concluded their Secret Shows across Canada with a One Note Show in Newfoundland. They did notify everyone ahead of time they would play only one note. I'm sure that was for obvious security reasons.



Mark Bittman tells us it's hot in the kitchen during summer. So he reveals 101 meals you can make in less than 10 minutes.

I've seen a bunch of live music lately. A list of dont's for concerts. John Prine t-shirts at Dylan come to mind.

Exercise Yard

The Michael Vick Experience looks to be in trouble with the federal dogfighting charges. Probably more from fans than the NFL. People love dogs and if you or your cohorts are electrocuting or hanging underperforming fight dogs, well, that doesn't go over very well. As someone said today, "Dawg Pound" is not a verb.

Visitor

4 Across: Yankee outfielder Johnny (5 letters) Answer: Damon

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

The Police were in town last night. Gale and I took in the show at Quicken Loans Arena. Full Disclosure: When it comes to The Police, I am a total fanboy.

The Venue: For this show, The Q was sold out. This was their first appearance in town in what, 23 years or so? Had to go the eBay route for tickets, because the lowers were just too rich for my blood at $200 a pop.

Things I Noticed: Gordon Sumner is still way too good-looking for his age. It was Stewart Copeland's 55th birthday and he had a helluva good time. Front-row folks had some birthday balloons and signs for him. The crew also had birthday balloons for a time on stage for him. I can't imagine anyone having more fun playing in a band than him. Andy Summers had an "Oh My God, They Killed Kenny" script on his guitar strap. With associated drawings of a live and dead Kenny McCormick. But on the video screens, he looked like his hands could use a visit from Madge and her Palmolive. Yikes.

The Tickets: We were in the first row of Section 220 in the uppers. Lots of room, with empty seats on either side. This was located more behind the stage than at a corner of it, with a video screen helping out. The beauty of this location was when the inevitable bathroom break song, "Wrapped Around Your Finger", started, you could literally zip back out and in before it was over. Of course, it allowed me to sing "Wrapped Around My Fingers", as well.

The Sound: Hey, it's the Q, right? I heard the lyrics and music OK, but some of Sting's stage banter got lost in the mix.

The Stage: The setup consisted of an oval stage with a riser about five stairs high running across the back. Video screens up front, on the sides, and in in the back. The riser wasn't used much. Sting took a stroll back there on "Walking on the Moon". And once in a while, some acknowledgement to the back, but not much. Sting was positioned on the left, Summers on the right, with Copeland's drums in the center and accompanying percussion behind his kit. Once more, I had trouble seeing Copeland's head, because of the associated lighting, speakers, etc. Another favorite drummer blocked!

The Music: The initial reviews for this tour scared me. The reworking of some tunes, I thought, was a major concern. At some early shows, they were so far from playing together, it was like "three guys, three cabs" and they were nowhere near being a cohesive band. But lately, they seemed to be hitting some sort of musical stride. This show is not all about Sting. Copeland attacks his drums with the same ferocity he had in the old days. As I listened to Andy Summers play last night, man, he does not get enough credit for his craft.

Setlist:

Message in a Bottle
Synchronicity II
Walking On The Moon
Voices Inside My Head
When The World Is Running Down
Don't Stand So Close To Me
Driven To Tears
Truth Hits Everybody
Bed's Too Big Without You
Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic
Wrapped Around Your Finger
De Do Do Do De Da Da Da
Invisible Sun
Walking In Your Footsteps
Can't Stand Losing You
Roxanne

Encore I:
King Of Pain
So Lonely

Encore II:
Every Breath You Take

Encore III:
Next To You

Hard to be disappointed, even if you were a diehard fan, with last night's show. Most, if not all, of the hits were sung. I think "Spirits in the Material World" was the only omission, but I believe this was dropped early in the tour.

Meal of Links

Remember those cable channels you used to watch. Here is why they suck. I understand tastes change, time is a factor and you have more choices, but some of these channels are really bad. Check the comments section, as well.

"The Fifth Element" is really good. Watch it next time you see it in the guide.

This year's version of the "Next Food Network Star" was a mess. On a brighter note for the network, Ruhlman will judge the next Iron Chef, with Michael Symon getting a shot.

Exercise Yard

I see nothing wrong with an all-inclusive ticket to the ballpark that includes food AND beer. Stay classy, Atlanta, and "Hooray, Beer!"

Visitor

12 Down: Slugger who rivaled McGwire (4 letters) Answer: Sosa

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Sometimes, you need a call to the bullpen for a sub, but Best Friend actually made a call from the bullpen, and was a late day replacement to see Bob Dylan at Scene Pavilion last night. I give Dylan a lot of credit, It would be so easy to roll out the Bob Dylan Songbook from the '60s and take your cash home. But he doesn't compromise and actually reworks some of his older tunes, as well. It's basically reminding everyone, yes, I have written songs in this century.

As far as stage banter, there is none. The only time he spoke was when he introduced the band during the encore. His band wore all gray suits and hats with black shirts and Dylan wore a black suit and white shirt with his hat. He played more keyboard than guitar. One of the biggest ovations was the first time he played the harmonica. After the first note, the people went crazy. It was kinda humorous. But the band was pretty tight and it was some really good music that they played.

The Band:

Bob Dylan - Electric guitar, keyboard, harp
Tony Garnier - Bass
George Recile - Drums
Stu Kimball - Rhythm guitar
Denny Freeman - Lead guitar
Donnie Herron - Violin, electric mandolin, pedal steel, lap steel

Here is the setlist:

Cat's In The Well
Don't Think Twice, It's All Right
Watching The River Flow
It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)
To Ramona
The Levee's Gonna Break (From "Modern Times", his last record)
My Back Pages (A beautiful song)
Honest With Me
Spirit On The Water (From "Modern Times")
Things Have Changed (From "Modern Times")
When The Deal Goes Down (From "Modern Times")
Stuck Inside Of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again
Nettie Moore (From "Modern Times")
Highway 61 Revisited (By far, the highlight for me)

(Encore)
Thunder On The Mountain (From "Modern Times")
Blowin' In The Wind (An oddly-affecting uptempo version)

Meal of Links

The "Wealthiest Americans Ever". Note that only two men, Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, are photographed in color, which means they are still breathing, I guess. It is an interesting read.

Most folks think Iran or Syria is responsible for most of the insurgency in Iraq. Uh, that would be wrong. It's our good friends, the Saudis. But you never hear that mentioned.

How Sequoyah was almost our 51st state. But it entered as Oklahoma. Which means "Red People" in Choctaw, BTW.

Exercise Yard

HBO had a tripleheader of welterweight boxing matches last evening. Probably the most important fight was the Antonio Margarito-Paul Williams bout which was the feature. The prelims included Arturo Gatti vs. Alfonso Gomez and Kermit Cintron vs. Walter Matthysse. Can't think of many great fighters named Walter, but there you go.

First up, Cintron-Matthysse. BTW, the first two bouts are in Atlantic City with Michael Buffer doing the intros. Cintron has one of the welterweight belts and his nickname is "The Killer". Uh-oh, Walter. In fairness, he throws a big left hook, while Cintron has a big right one. Well, Walter didn't have much of a chance in this one. Cintron knocked him down in Round 1. Within 29 seconds of Round 2, Walter was knocked down twice, with the second one an unbelievable display of devastation. A left pretty much KO'ed Walter on his feet and a big, I mean big, right hand put him down for good. Cintron says he wants to fight Shane Mosley.

Second fight, Gatti-Gomez. Arturo Gatti is the adopted favorite son of Atlantic City and he gets another home match. Gomez, you may remember, is from "The Contender". Gatti has not fought in 356 days and Buddy McGirt is no longer in his corner. Micky Ward is now his trainer. Yikes! This one was not pretty. On paper, Gomez was inferior, but he whipped Gatti for 7 rounds, before putting him down. No question, Gatti has been hit like this before, but he usually had an answer. Tonight...nothing. Gomez with a big Round 4 kind of set up the home crowd for what was happening. It was only a matter of time. In the 7th, Gatti got hit with everything and I may have even seen the kitchen sink flying in there. The ref was giving Gatti way too much credit, given his past, and should have stopped it. Or his corner. Or a fan. Anyone. Bueller? Finally, Commissioner Larry Hazzard strolled into the ring and stopped it. First time in a long time, a man in a suit stopped a fight.

Give Gomez some props. He stepped into the lion's den and showed a nice right hand. Cannot go overboard, because Gatti was so bad, but it was a dominating performance. Sad to see Gatti end his career this way. After the fight, he said he doesn't feel right at 147, and he cannot make weight at 140. Therefore, it's, "Hasta la vista, baby!" and he is retired.

The feature from California was Williams-Margarito. If title-holder "The Tijuana Tornado" Margarito wins, he gets Cotto. BTW, Paul Williams has the nickname, "The Punisher" and Jimmy Lennon, Jr. handles the intros. He must not be "Classy" when he's on HBO. Since, Harold Lederman was in New Jersey, Lamps had to read the rules of the bout. But he didn't say "Jim" at the end. That would have been funny.

This was a pretty good fight, Williams dominated the first six rounds, until Margarito realized he may be in trouble, and, oh yeah, I'm blowing this deal with Cotto. So, Margarito got busy in the second half culminating with a big 11th round. But Williams kept his head about him and just kept working. He won the 12th round, which won him the bout on two of the judge's scorecards, 115-113, while the other judge had it at 116-112. Williams immediately called out Cotto after the fight.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

No one alerted me to this, but yesterday was Kevin's birthday. I was only gonna be Downtown for a brief time and have a couple of bourbons, but word on the street was he would show up around 7:30 or so. Then I caught wind of his plan. From Noon to Midnight, since he was 24, he was going to have a beer and a shot every hour. Oh, the folly of youth. So, I participated in at least a couple of those hours. I normally don't do shots, but I had a grape bomb and something I don't even know what. Pretty tasty, but let's not make a career out of it. As it was nearing 10, he headed off to Lakewood and I'm sure toward lots of sleeping today.

Meal of Links

Larry David proclaims "I'm Jesus Christ". His enthusiasm for questioning the questioners at his press conferences has not been curbed.

If you tend to look for buying goods and services at a discount, here's a guide on when to buy. I think I agree with everything except buying gas on Thursdays. I always avoid that day and even with more price volatility lately, I still can't see going on Thursdays, no matter how early.

Weekly World News has found a descendant of Shakespeare. In Alabama, of all places. And, no, it's not Bat Boy.

Exercise Yard

Gary Sheffield opens his mouth again. Lots of fun things come out. Joe Torre is racist, he doesn't take steroids because "steroids are something you shoot in your butt", and that Derek Jeter "ain't all the way black". This should get him some headlines for a while.

Visitor

14 Down: CBS weekend news anchor during the Cronkite era (4 letters) Answer: Mudd

Thursday, July 12, 2007

I visited my Doctor today for a checkup. Interestingly enough, it was his last day, as he's moving on. Thank goodness they didn't start partying at lunch or anything. And I didn't get a discount or any selloff of equipment. I sort of feel like Al Bundy when his barber died. You know, you get comfortable after a while with the same person, so now I have to go looking for another doc at the Clinic.

Meal of Links

I have not mentioned Creed Bratton lately. Glad to see he made this list of TV's Top 10 Actors.

This guy really hates the current version of "The Simpsons". He probably likes a dial phone and black and white TV, too.

OK, I assume Jerry Rice at the ESPYs is sponsored by Crown Royal. I mean, let's hope so. I need that gig.

























Exercise Yard

Time to talk about Becks. And look at him.

Visitor

40 Across: Playwright Burrows (3 letters) Answer: Abe

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

I believe that stuff falling from the sky this morning was rain. Yep, I'm sure of it.

Meal of Links

Michael Chertoff, our Homeland Security chief, cannot make impossibly way out there statements like he has a "gut feeling" we will be attacked soon, as summer is the season Al Qaeda attacks. This is based on no current intelligence reports, and at the very least, it's non-factual, as 60% of these attacks occur in spring and fall. And then CNN repeats this crazy shit. Does anyone do their own reporting anymore?

Patton Oswalt talks about "Ratatouille", his new album and all sorts of stuff.

Keanu Reeves says, "Tell me why again I would want to be in another "Bill and Ted". Of course, he said no and will remain in San Dimas.

Exercise Yard

Looks like good news on two local fan favorites. The Indians amazingly have extended Travis Hafner. He now becomes the Indians all-time highest player at 4 years for $57 million. That will buy a lot of wrestling DVDs. Uh-oh, the Dolans are spending money now, does that mean I have to go to more games? Larry Dolan thinks "we had a pact".

And Darko Milicic has signed with the Memphis Grizzlies in the NBA. That means Anderson Varejao is suddenly running out of options, or at least options that would have made the Cavs an unlikely choice to match an offer.

Visitor

41 Across: Jazzy Anita (4 letters) Answer: O'Day

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

What used to be a happy day now has turned into this loathsome crawl into the depths of sport. That's right, the Browns season tickets showed up in the mail today. This year the cost is $40 per. It's time to start lining up prospects before they stumble out of the gate...er...begin to play this season. The Browns also released their training camp schedule. Looks like Krispy Kreme is sponsoring the early morning workouts. Keep Coach Crennel away those days.

BTW, the home schedule has the Chiefs and Lions in preseason. Steelers, Bengals, Ravens, Dolphins, Seahawks, Texans, Bills, 49ers during the regular season. Followed by playoffs and Super Bowl, I'm sure.

Meal of Links

Wot? You have not seen "The Flight of the Conchords" on HBO? You can catch up here.

The greatest cartoon ever turns 50 this week. "Kill da wabbit".

Bush performs brain surgery at the Cleveland Clinic. Don't worry, he used a dummy.

Exercise Yard

While the All-Stars play in Frisco, the No Stars stay home. Note Josh Barfield as runner-up at second base. When they traded for him, his lack of walks was a concern. It still is.

Visitor

49 Down: Meir of Israel (5 letters) Answer: Golda

Monday, July 09, 2007

With the White Stripes making what I think is a soon-to-be legendary trip across Canada, Best Friend and I headed up north to take in the show in London, Ontario (Population: 348,000). The concert took place at the relatively new John Labatt Centre.

















The Venue: For this show, the JLC was seated in a "hybrid" format. 5,400 showed up. It was General Admission on the floor with no seating. The lower ring seated about halfway around, while the upper ring was curtained off facing the stage, but open on the sides.

The Secret Show: The Secret Show remained a secret to us. But 300 people showed up at a flour mill in Arva, earlier in the afternoon, to see a set played out there.















Unforeseen Rules: The JLC seemed to be paranoid about these rock-and-roll shows. Because they have too many rules. First of all, you need a wristband to drink which certifies that you are old enough. Hey, the House of Blues does that locally, but they have a system that avoids lines, as they tag you on the way in. JLC only had two "Wristband Centers", both located downstairs, for the entire building. Long lines! Also, you cannot take alcohol inside the seating area. WTF? They limit you to one drink per person at a time. So, if you want to grab one now and one for later to avoid lines, you are SOL. They stop serving alcohol when the main act hits the stage. If you go out to smoke, you can't take alcohol outside into the smoking area. I may have had to pee blue in a cup to leave after the show, but I can't remember.

The Tickets: We were in the second-to-last row in the section closest to the stage, in the uppers. Fittingly, behind the handicapped section.















The Sound: We thought this was an issue, especially in the uppers. Despite it being a good show, the sound was too muddied. Afterward, however, everyone else seemed to think it was the greatest show ever. Londoners can't afford to be discriminatory, it seems. When asked about the shows that come to town, apparently Cher opened the building. Metallica was there once. However, the next big act to come to town...The Moody Blues. I think they are now a traveling archaeological exhibit.

The Stage: A rather neat setup, if you could see it. Unfortunately for me, I only saw Meg White from the neck down as her drums were positioned on the left front. Jack White was all over the place with nonstop energy. The stage floor was red and they had red stairs that led up to a riser at the back. Big red backdrop with lights up front, so their shadows were prominently displayed. A mirrored ball was employed at times and strobes were used for the seizure-prone in the audience. There were no video screens. No question, Jack White is positively the most electrifying personality in music right now. He has an ability to mesmerize a room like no one else, because you never know what the hell he is gonna do. And Meg just kills on those drums, too. To get that sound from only two people still stuns me.

















The Music: As usual, you never know what songs you are going to get. First part lasted 45 minutes and another 30 for the encore. Here is the setlist for London:

Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground
Icky Thump
Starts I'm Slowly Turning Into You then goes into
Canon
I'm Slowly Turning Into You
Hotel Yorba
I'm Finding It Harder To Be A Gentleman
Astro/Jack the Ripper
Death Letter
Cold Cold Night
Apple Blossom
The Union Forever
A Martyr for my Love For You
The Big Three Killed My Baby
I think I smell a rat (riff)
Little Cream Soda
Astro
I think I smell a rat

Encore

Blue Orchid
Party of Special Things To Do
I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself
You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do As You're Told)
Hardest Button To Button
Catch Hell Blues
We're Going To Be Friends
Seven Nation Army
Boll Weevil

As you can tell from that list, they may have a new album out, but they certainly weren't plugging it in London.

Meal of Links

I guess Live Earth didn't go over very well. Hey, I heard Phil Collins say "Fuck" during "Invisible Touch" on an XM cut today, which didn't make it to TV. Was that a highlight? Performances are here.

The Top 10 Most Beautiful Social Networks. I do recommend Threadless. Some of my favorite shirts are from there.

Vanity Fair flips for "The Simpsons". I know it's old and some people don't like it anymore, but I still laugh at it.

Exercise Yard

Did you participate in the Home Run Derby Drinking Game? If so, we'll hold your mail for the 28 Days you'll need to recover.

Visitor

34 Down: Author ___ Stanley Gardner (4 letters) Answer: Erle

Thursday, July 05, 2007

How could you not be entertained and yet simultaneously sickened by the Hot Dog Eating Championship yesterday? Joey Chestnut eats 66 dogs to win the title. As Dan LeBatard reminded everyone on ESPN yesterday, Kobayashi ate his own vomit to stay alive in the contest. It grossed me out so much, that at the conclusion, I had to change the channel in fear of seeing a replay. That's why a DVR comes in handy. Even ESPN is refusing to show that highlight anymore.

If that wasn't enough, the announcing was so over the top on television, it almost overshadowed the job that George Shea does with the live audience. I mean to say that Curt Schilling (re:bloody sock) has nothing on Kobayashi is priceless. Now if they could work Gus Johnson into the mix, it would be off the charts.

My favorite sound bites:

"The Houdini of Cuisine-y"

"Bertoletti is dedicating his performance to Nikki Hilton, because Nikki lives in Paris’ shadow and he lives in Chestnut’s shadow." Paul Page even marvelled at how he worked Paris Hilton into a Hot Dog contest.

“If you Google American heroes tomorrow, you would find would find Abraham Lincoln, possibly Neil Armstrong, Taylor Hicks and this man, Joey Chestnut.”

"This will be the greatest moment in American sport."

"Kobayashi just had a reversal. The judges will have to rule on that." No, he was EATING HIS OWN VOMIT.

Meal of Links














I am heading to the Great White North to see the White Stripes this weekend. You may know they are doing free shows in each city, thus far, in Canada. A bowling alley in Saskatoon, a bus in Winnipeg (where they sang "The Wheels on the Bus"), etc. Today, in Toronto, they played 8 songs at a day camp. Maybe, we'll get lucky and see them before the show.

Katharine McPhee shows her Stuff. Maybe she didn't sell many records.

Don't blame Canada. Blame Mr. Rogers. Or Chrissie Hynde, perhaps. She sings that she's special.

Exercise Yard

An interesting piece. If F1 can develop a Lewis Hamilton, why can't NASCAR develop a diverse superstar?

Visitor

20 Across: 1972 Chairman Mao visitor (14 letters) Answer: President Nixon

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

I was able to bug out a bit early from work yesterday to celebrate what America is all about. Yes, watching my good friend "Maury", joined in progress. What has this show become? Well, yesterday's program was "Help! My Abusive Boyfriend Makes Me Prostitute". Not cook, clean, wash clothes, do the dishes. Nope, that would be boring. But prostitute, hey, we got ourselves a "Maury"!

First of all, Maury's audience seems to filled with high schoolers on a field trip. And the actresses in his enactments are much prettier than his actual guests. I have joined the program late and missed Abusive Guy #1, Milton. But I arrived in time to see Abusive Guy #2, Timothy. On tape, Timothy resembles a creepy Bill Gates sans eyewear. "At the end of the day, I'm a man and she's still a dumb bitch." Nothing like having the audience hate you immediately. Maury, who is especially sassy today, says, "You're not a man, you're a dog." Timothy specializes in profanities, as all I'm hearing is "All y'all!" and a series of bleeps. He has been on the show before, as Maury senses ratings when someone this combative is on the air. Maury promises a big surprise later for Timothy. America can hardly stand the excitement.

Abusive Guy #3, J.B., is next. On tape, J.B. says things like, "I'll choke her ass out." and "If she doesn't do what I say, I lock her in the closet." Apparently, J.B. thinks he is on a "Father of the Year" episode and has prepared his A material. Anyhow, back on stage, Maury asks J.B.'s woman what her phone number is. She replies she has no phone. Not sure if this means cellphone, but the audience starts hissing, conveniently forgetting she lives with J.B. and they probably have a home phone. J.B. convinces his woman to keep her head down. I guess you can't be physically abusive on stage, so each guest, thus far, has employed this tactic. Maury, momentarily dimwitted, doesn't get it. J.B. reminds him, "I'm in control." amongst many "She know how I go." statements. Maury zings J.B. with, "That's not control...that's fear." J.B. replies, "That ain't no fear. Uh-uh, that ain't fear." Maury goes to commercial.

And here's where the show essentially breaks down, as we knew it would, sort of like the last half of "Men At Work". Another former guest, "Q" arrives on the scene. Maury tells the Abusive Guys that "Q" was just like them, until he came on "Maury", got help, and turned his life around. So, "Q" is eminently qualified to dispense advice. He quotes, no, actually yells, MLK. "Q" channels a Chili's commercial and announces he has his baby back. The surprise for Timothy is that "Q" is gonna take him backstage and teach him some life lessons.

Meanwhile, some crazy woman comes on stage, with her sister in tow, of course. She was stabbed multiple times by her Abusive Guy, so again Maury has found a highly-qualified person to talk to the women. Maury, sensing this is going badly, cuts her off and reminds her that she will soon be talking to the women backstage. I'll move ahead and reveal that the woman basically says these are my wounds, this could be you, and worse, "you could end up six feet under". But her story was spoken in a very unintelligent way. Like most of Maury's guests and experts.

Next up, is another former guest, D West. Another guy with an odd name. Anyhow, "D" is gonna talk, well, yell at the remaining Abusive Guys, Milton and J.B. But that's not at all, as we find out after another commercial break.

You see, D West doesn't take Milton and J.B. to the morgue. That would be too obvious and strain the budget. No, "D" takes them to a local funeral home. WTF? There, an unnamed preacher tries to put Milton and J.B. on the right path. Well, going down that path takes one step to get going, so "D" leads the men to the vault in the funeral home. Where, in the voiceover, Maury talks about "the stench of death". D West then takes each man and shows them the "dead bodies" in the room. But under the sheet, lying on a slab, is each Abusive Guy's girlfriend. I see you working, "D". Since it's nearing 5:00, both men have miraculously seen the light, somehow waded through "the stench of death" and promise to stop being Abusive Guys.

Meanwhile, "Q" is starting to reveal what his surprise for Timothy entails. "Q" has some odd training habits, but maybe this stopped him from being an Abusive Guy. "Q" takes Timothy backstage at Maury headquarters. "Q" proceeds to order Timothy to clean a toilet with a toothbrush, saying what he's going through now is like the humiliation his girlfriend feels. "Q" then has some role playing in mind, as he instructs Timothy and his girlfriend to switch places in how they recline at home. The girl immediately goes for the couch, while "T" has to lie on the floor. Setting aside their obvious lack of feng shui in their home, I'm sensing a breakthrough. Next, "Q" wants Timothy to make a sandwich for him and Timothy's girlfriend, right there in Maury's kitchen. "Q" wants lots of mayo on his turkey and swiss. There seems to be a problem, as the girlfriend gets mustard on hers and announces she hates mustard. "Q", again in a fit of genius, throws her sandwich at the wall, demonstrating the humiliation she must suffer when not pleasing her man. After this rather shocking display, Timothy promises the world he has changed and won't be abusive anymore.

Not sure what I learned after watching this "Maury", but these thoughts come to mind:

"Q" loves mayo.

If we just made the sandwiches we want, the world would be a better place.

I didn't know you could tour a local funeral home, and playact while you're there.

I love the "Maury" show.

BTW, Maury celebrates the holiday today with "Born a Boy or Girl? You'll Never Guess". Imagine the fireworks on the next "Maury".

Meal of Links

Silly college students. The PD reports that two Mensas have developed a map for cheap parking for sporting events Downtown. Uh, no mention of FREE PARKING, as on the street, by a meter, hello! I can tell you which streets have meters, even the two-hour ones, yes, you can park in a truck zone legally after 6:00, etc. What a waste of ink.

Keith Olbermann is at it again.

Snopes tells us what happened to the original signers of the Declaration of Independence. Have a safe holiday!

Exercise Yard

I thought Kobayashi was not going to the Hot Dog Eating Championships, but he is. I wonder if he was sandbagging about his arthritic jaw. But there's something about the 4th of July that fires him up, so we'll see how he does. And keep in mind, since the record is 59 in 12 minutes, think how many months it takes you to eat 59 hot dogs.

Visitor

1 Down: "Desert Fox" Rommel (5 letters) Answer: Erwin

Monday, July 02, 2007

Scooter gets off. This is beyond words.

Meal of Links

The Top 50 Horror Movies. No issue with "Hellraiser" at #1. This actually has some sleepers on it that I like a lot. Props to "The Hitcher" at #10, "Jacob's Ladder" at 15 and lots of Cronenberg, including a #5 for "Dead Ringers". That is a must see, if you haven't seen that one in a while. And, of course, "Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer" at #6. That one is so out there (described alternately as "a real fucking wake-up call" and "it will mess you up bad" ), I don't even think they show that late night on Showtime 7 anymore. Roger Ebert gave it 3.5 stars, even though some described it as "evil incarnate". If you stumble upon it, beware.

A brilliantly simple ad from Nike touting Greg Oden's arrival in Portland:


Here are the Top 18 Skylines in the world. Pittsburgh made it.

Exercise Yard

SI rates the current NFL owners. If you're looking for Randy Lerner, he's on page 6 of 9. He's with solid company down there like the Yorks, Mike McCaskey, Al Davis and Georgia Frontiere. Not only that, it says Crennel and Savage are feuding. Yikes!

Visitor

32 Down: Brody of "The Pianist"(5 letters) Answer: Adrien

Sunday, July 01, 2007

It was such a nice day today. Too nice to sit inside and eat, so I took my Dad to the patio at Fisher's Cafe in Peninsula. Which was one hoppin' place with all the bike riding and hiking going on. As we were waiting to be buzzed with the pager, lots of foreign people showed up. Some were Euros (I guessed Serbs), Asians, and even Colombians. My Dad started with the old "speak English" rant. I told him these folks looked like tourists, although I'm not sure how they would find Peninsula. Might be the Cuyahoga Valley train. I finally had to tell him, "Hey, I didn't know I was having lunch with Pat Buchanan." Thank God, these folks didn't pressure the wait staff into a table before we were seated outside. He would have caused an international incident on domestic soil, if that's possible. Anyhow, I had eggplant fries and a catfish fillet. Very good. He treated me to an ice cream cone at Country Maid, where I opted for the peppermint stick flavor. Outstanding.

Meal of Links

I'm proud to say I follow all of this advice for good credit. Therefore, my latest credit score was 794. I think that's pretty good.

I hadn't watched "Talk Soup" or its current incarnation, "The Soup", in quite a long time. Until last night's weekly recap show. You know, it still made me laugh out loud. There was some funny stuff, like Oprah and her va-jay-jay again. They also have a half-year special on E! on Monday that might be worth watching. Here is a clip from a month ago:



Well, the "Concert for Diana" was today. I think I saw Dennis Hopper introduce somebody. WTF? Hey, Tom Jones was there. Sort of dancing.

















Exercise Yard

I was really surprised by Mike Hargrove's resignation. Especially since the Mariners have been a big surprise and are actually contending. He said it was pretty much an accumulation of 35 years in the game. I think Jim Leyland left at around the same age, and recall Hargrove never had a break between his managerial jobs. He said he's through managing though. I don't know if there is a smoking gun, because it sure sets him up for a ton of criticism. I recall Dave Cowens quitting at Charlotte in the NBA with a reasonable record and then resurfacing at Golden State and then bailing there, and he hasn't had a head coaching job since, although he assists the Pistons currently.

The Indians should let him sit out the season and bring him back in some sort of community role. For all of his managerial faults, he sure had a home here, and he got us to 2 World Series in three years, when we've only been to 5 in the history of the team.

Visitor

None, it was a sunny Sunday.