Isolation Thought

By all means, stay away from the movie, "The Day After Tomorrow". It's real easy to describe this flick...It stinks. They tried to do a blockbuster, but they failed to get one true superstar to carry the day. Dennis Quaid is not a draw. Good actor, but isn't the guy as Number 1. My favorite scenes were very early in the movie. It was snowing in New Delhi, a phenomenon that you would think would throw the populus into a tizzy. It didn't. Then in Japan, it was raining like it did in "Blade Runner". All of a sudden, major ice chunks were falling from the sky. Two people got it right in the head. Trust me, it was funny. I laughed when Fox actually said they didn't expect this movie to win the Box Office this weekend. That is a bunch of hooey.

Meal of Links

Bono is planning Live Aid II. Bob Geldof is not helping this time.

Blackout results: No power, no fun, but we had cleaner air.

Catholics are not acting very Catholic-like toward their gay brethren.

Exercise Yard

Lleyton Hewitt insists tennis is still dirty. And BALCO supplied no tennis players. Imagine that.

Visitor

56 Across: Actor Jannings (4 letters) Answer: Emil

Isolation Thought

Sunday of Memorial Day weekend always presents me with a dilemma. I love auto racing, so I kinda hope for rain, so I don't feel bad about being indoors. It doesn't affect the Formula One race, because that's typically over by 9:30 a.m. Of course, Schumi easily won the European Grand Prix on his home course. But as the sun was bright here, it was raining in Indy. That gave me a nice window to drop almost $75 at Giant Eagle. How does a single person spend $75 at Giant Eagle in one visit? I bought beer and that was on sale, that can't be it. I bought 2 for 1 Vitamin E, which I then realize I had done at Walgreen's 125 caplets ago. Lots of other BOGOs later, I get a sales receipt that Bob Vila could use to measure crap with. Jeezy Creezy, I even bought the 12-pack of Pop-Tarts!! I offer no explanantion for that stellar purchase other than I bought chocolate milk, which goes great with Pop-Tarts, because it sounded like it was on sale, but probably wasn't. Anyhow, Buddy Rice won the Indy 500. Sounds like a bit of a dolt, but he has a hot girlfriend. Must be the way he turns RPMs. David Letterman co-owns the car with Bobby Rahal, a very nice man. I'm typing this out on my laptop, as the last race of the day is just whizzing by. The Coke 600 from Charlotte. Jimmie Johnson currently leading. Not many wrecks, so I won't miss any of Action News ("They're everywhere!"). Man, it's starting to rain, and it's one of those smelly rains, as if Lake Erie is pouring over my head.

Meal of Links

The Budweiser frogs are back!! Can you believe it? They actually played the 'Merican card vs. Miller by correctly pointing out that Miller is owned by South Africans. Completely debunking the "Miller Beer for President" campaign. Very hip.

Hey, Usher. Usher now has three songs in the Top Ten. And I still don't know who this guy is. I'm in to the Black Eyed Peas right now.

Martha Stewart is trying to stay out of jail. And I actually wish the judge would go along with this plan. Compared with Kozlowski, Skilling, and the Adelphia clowns, she's small potatoes.

Exercise Yard

A tribute to, of all things, the C.C. Hat.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

Yesterday was my birthday and it's kind of cool to see which celebrities were born on the same day as you. I think I have a pretty good list. Jim Thorpe ("Thanks, King"), Kirk Gibson ("Here comes Gibson"), Rudy Giuliani ("I eat a lot of frozen yogurt. But it's non-fat.") , Kylie Minogue ("Come into my world"), John Fogerty ("I can be centerfield"), Ian Fleming ("Shaken, not stirred") , Gladys Knight (without her Pips). I'd match that list with anyone.

Meal of Links

Friendly fire killed Pat Tillman.

OK, "Rance" has been out there a while. Who is he? I know he's not Owen or Luke Wilson. After that, it's anyone's guess.

NASA discovers the youngest star. And it's not Rodney Allen Rippy.

Exercise Yard

The Middies may win an NCAA title. In lacrosse. Always have to root for the service academies, because we pay for 'em.

Visitor

18 Across: Cartoon insect superhero (7 letters) Answer: Atom Ant

Isolation Thought

I really love The Who. Yes, that Who. You know the one. The one with oh, about 23 greatest hits packages. The one whose music is on CSI, random Hummer commercials, etc. I am currently listening to their marathon on WBWC. The Internet is a great thing, because the radio station's signal is pretty weak in my house. But thanks to Real Audio, I can hear the acoustic version of "Happy Jack", "5:15" and other classics.

Meal of Links

More security patches from Microsoft. There are so many of these, I can't remember if I already installed them.

Salton announces layoffs. Where would they be without George Foreman?

Here are the final TV ratings for the 2003-4 season. CBS is the big winner.

Exercise Yard

The horrid Scott Stewart finally demoted by the Tribe. Buffalo orders a new caterer upon his arrival.

Visitor

64 Across: Boo Radley's creator (9 letters) Answer: Harper Lee

Isolation Thought

Poker is in the air. I am currently reading a terrific poker book, "Positively Fifth Street" by James McManus. And the World Series of Poker is going on right now. Lots of names from last year's ESPN coverage are already gone, probably due to a record number of entrants. You can check out the results here. I understand ESPN will have 22 hours of taped coverage this year, and will debut some time in June.

Meal of Links

New tanning agent. It's known as hippo sweat. I'm guessing this guy already knew that.

Ashcroft comes out of his spider hole to give us the latest attack news. Who cares? American Idol ends today.

In a huge waste of money, Terry Nichols is convicted of the Oklahoma City bombing. Somewhere, John Doe Number 2 is laughing.

Exercise Yard

Minor league team cancels "Sports Criminals Night". O.J. doesn't get an appearance fee.

Visitor

30 Across: "Soap" spin-off (6 letters) Answer: Benson

Isolation Thought

The Second-one-termer-in-his-family gave a speech last night about Iraq. Frankly, I'm getting a bit tired jawboning about this disaster. The friendly folks at Slate summarize the speech much better than I could.

And speaking of Slate, I was remiss in not passing along this article on torn labrums, the baseball injury of the 21st century. If you hear the word labrum connected with your favorite pitcher, you may want to find a new favorite pitcher.

Meal of Links

Looks like we'll be attacked over the summer. Time to dust off the color orange again.

Krispy Kreme blames low-carb diets for its stock price decrease. Maybe lowering the price of their donuts would help.

Here is a cool clock.

Exercise Yard

Michelle Wie wants to play in the Masters. She was handed an exemption for the Women's Open, a blatant commercial move by the LPGA. Let her qualify, she's only 14.

Visitor

58 Down: 1970 hit by the Kinks (4 letters) Answer: Lola

Isolation Thought

Yes!!! The first automobile accident I've heard of this time around because of (drum roll, please) cicadas!!! With the additional bonus of causing a flood.

Meal of Links

Your Doctor's tie is so ugly, it could make you sick.

The latest round of ads from United Airlines are analyzed. They are pretty good, but I like the Burger King one where the guy says, "I'm spicy!!!"

Please accept our apology for accusing you of the Madrid terrorist bombing. Damnedest thing...we had the wrong fingerprint. Sorry for the inconvenience of dragging your name through the mud. Here's Richard Jewell's number, in case you need to chat.

Exercise Yard

Maurice Greene now has the all-time celebration title. He has surpassed "The Fun Bunch" and anything T.O. or Chad Johnson has ever done. After running a 9.86 in the 100 meters, Greene took off his shoes and had a friend douse them with a fire extinguisher, because they were so hot.

Visitor

41 Across: 1901-1909 presidential nickname (5 letters) Answer: Teddy

Isolation Thought

It has been stormy around here lately. The kind of heat normally associated with July and August. It's been a long time since I've felt a humid day like we had on Friday. Africa hot. Of course, that day blew up into some big-time thunderstorms. So, continuing our string of no springs lately, we zoom straight into summer. The last two years, it seemed winter lasted until June. As long as you don't have any flooding, it's kind of neat to see all types of weather. Go to Intellicast for all the local weather. And, sure enough, we'll get more rain later today.

Meal of Links

Some truck-driving woman wants to marry opera star, Beverly Sills. I wonder if "Bubbles" will accept.

In case you are tired of Google and want to use some other search engines, here is a list.

Circus performer dies while working without a net. Clowns try to distract people from what happened and end up scaring even more people.

Exercise Yard

Eric Wedge is still failing to impress as Indians manager. Yesterday, another clear case of overmanaging. Jake Westbrook pretty much on his way to a complete game loss. Baldelli rolls a grounder through to left for a single. Mind you, Westbrook had thrown 94 pitches to this point and had pretty easily disposed of the first two hitters in the 8th. But with two lefties, Huff and Martinez, coming up, he brings in Bartosh. Of course, Huff singles and Martinez doubles in two runs. Game over, 6-3. Idiot.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

I always thought naming babies was easy. Try for something with a nice ring to it. You know, not Jeeves nor Esmeralda. Here are the top baby names for 2003, with a comparison to 1903. The reason I bring this up is that we've had some celebrities who have gone off the board lately and come up with some rather unique names. Gwyneth Paltrow named her daughter Apple. Geena Davis named her twins Kian and Kaiis. MmmKay. Then Helen Hunt named her daughter Makena'lei. Will they be picked on? Maybe not as much as Jason Lee's son who is named...ahem...Pilot Inspektor.

Meal of Links

Michael Moore's movie, "Fahrenheit 9/11", wins the Palme d'Or at Cannes (replayed at 8 p.m. on IFC). Our lives our very similar, since I use my Palme to eat Pringles out of a Cannes.

Did I read your last stupid e-mail? I know you spent valuable time crafting it and thought it was great. But hey, I'm a busy guy. A new tool lets you find out who is keeping up, and who hits that delete button quickly.

Surrogate mother newsflash. If she's selling one baby to three couples, make sure it's triplets.

Exercise Yard

Like Little Boy Blue, Mike Montgomery needed the money. Why else would he leave Stanford?

Visitor

21 Across: Brazilian supermodel Bundchen (6 letters) Answer: Gisele

Isolation Thought

I am fascinated by Sotheby's auction of the Johnny Cash estate. That would be so cool to end up with something from "The Man in Black" himself. Maybe an old shirt he wore in prison or an old drug vial or something. I'm curious to see what they have available. The last non-eBay auction I participated in was 2 years ago for "hedcuts" from the Wall Street Journal. You know those "dot drawings" you see in the paper. Come to think of it, it was on eBay, but you know, it wasn't like buying shoplifted Mach 3 blades or anything. Anyhow, I ended up with two of them. One of Sigourney Weaver, the other of Tom Cruise. For some reason, I still have them in the FedEx box they got shipped in. Sotheby's also has one for Katharine Hepburn, if you're interested.

Meal of Links

OK, here are some things that I was turned on to that caught my eye.

Jon Stewart's commencement address at William & Mary.

Mary's Dairy in NYC. Great logo and check out the Double Creme.

That Scar on Tina Fey's face.

Exercise Yard

Some guy is wandering around Detroit, posing as Higgy's father. Last year, when Higginson was hitting .235, I bet his real Dad didn't go out much.

Visitor

15 Down: Son of Sarek and Amanda (7 letters) Answer: Mr. Spock (Click on picture for new quote)

Isolation Thought

I mentioned that Phil Spector being in the headlines during his trial won't necessarily be a bad thing. I failed to mention that he had a fight with his chauffeur last week. Much like Athens these days, a ticking time bomb. And I can't quite figure out why I seem to be obsessed with the Athens Olympics. I guess it's because it was not a sound business decision, combined with the reality that the Olympic movement ain't what it used to be.

Meal of Links

Total Film comes out with their Top 50 Movie Deaths. Hopefully, the kid from "Pet Sematary" made the list. I actually rooted for his death. God, what a horrible actor.

What's that you're smoking? It smells minty fresh.

I saw an amazing show with Alan Alda on PBS about alternative fuels for automobiles. These cars are arriving sooner than you think.

Exercise Yard

Could be Step One in the BALCO case as Kelli White comes clean. At least as clean as a doper can.

Visitor

54 Down: "Lolita" actor (5 letters) Answer: Mason

Isolation Thought

Did anyone find it peculiar that the news of Jimmy Fallon leaving "SNL" hit the mainstream media today? I checked the calendar and it is WEDNESDAY today. Apparently, at the end of Weekend Update on SATURDAY, Fallon said he was leaving the show. I guess it became painfully obvious to his PR people that a few days had passed and there was virtually no comment anywhere about it. I do not watch "SNL" often and I think Fallon is OK at best, but his big flaw is his constant breaking out laughing during virtually every skit he was in. And lots of folks hate that.

Meal of Links

The Second-One-Termer-in-his-Family somehow remains blameless for high gas prices. But he'll be quick to take credit if they become lower. "Wacky Wednesday" price: $1.99 for 91 octane.

Independence Air now flies to Cleveland. Cheap fares, in case you have a hankerin' to go east.

A short primer on "How to Build a Blog".

Exercise Yard

ABA team in Nashville hires a female coach. Look, most people do not have a problem with the idea of a female coach. There is a problem, however, when the female in question is woefully inexperienced for the job.

Visitor

59 Across: "Baby Hold On" rocker (10 letters) Answer: Eddie Money

Isolation Thought

I didn't see Motown 45 the other day. But I understand a lot of the folks who made Motown the great label that it is, are no longer with us or just plain didn't show up. It sorta weakens the effort when the Four Tops are basically down to A Top. Why would you try to replace the great Levi Stubbs' voice? And here are two things you do not want to hear coming from your TV. "Representing Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell, one of the all-time great duos in Motown history, are Cedric the Entertainer and "American Idol" finalist, Kelly Rowland." Huh? Cedric the Entertainer as Marvin Gaye? Was Willie Tyler unavailable? And then the greatest abomination. "The great Stevie Wonder could not be with us this evening. To sing one of his greatest hits...Wayne Brady!!!" Name any Brady. Tom...Mike...Alan, but you come up with Wayne? Stevie Wonder may be blind, but his other senses, especially common sense, steered him away from participating in this debacle. Praise the Lord.

Meal of Links

The unusual case of source code stolen from Cisco Systems. Stolen right from their corporate network.

New York, London, Paris, not Munich among the finalists for 2012 Olympics.

Tony Randall passed away. The "Password" episode of "The Odd Couple" is a personal favorite. This episode airs at 10:00 on TV Land on Thursday. "If Charlie Chan had these clues, he'd be running a laundry."

Exercise Yard

Randy Johnson just threw a perfect game. 87 strikes out of 117 pitches. Amazing.

Visitor

15 Across: James Bond foe (4 letters) Answer: Dr. No

Isolation Thought

You know, when you spend a rather ugly Saturday afternoon sucking down Bloody Marys, your sleep pattern tends to become disjointed. So, I found myself going through the dial about 3:30 this a.m. Ah, the land of late night TV!! Of course, you have to check in on any movie with the word "Deviant" in the title and sure enough on one of the millions of Showtime channels I get, "Deviant Vixens 2" was on. Not sure, if I saw "Deviant Vixens", but if they greenlighted a sequel, it must have been stellar. But then I stumbled upon BET. In the space of 20 minutes, I got to see BET Uncut, with the Won G. (featuring Gizelle) video of "Caught Up in the Rapture". This one has Paris Hilton in it and is a remake of Blondie's "Rapture". Then, good old Ron Jeremy shows up on a commercial selling a product called "Extendz". Truly awful production values, but he promises a 25% increase in length, "you know, down there". Then at 4:00, BET suddenly becomes religious and Robert Tilton comes on. I remember years ago, this dude told the old-timers that ink from prayer requests (some sort of weird pre-Costanza defense) had gone into his blood and resulted in baggy eyes, therefore requiring plastic surgery. He had some words from God and was most believable.

Meal of Links

Someone was willing to pay $30,000 for a photo of Olive Osmond. She obviously could not run away, you see, because she was in her coffin.

Bad health news for McDonald's new CEO. And, it doesn't involve the food.

The American Girl Cafe, where your doll eats for free. You have to be joking.

Exercise Yard

Roy Jones was not very "Smarty".

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

The running of the Preakness Stakes is today at Pimlico. Once again, it looks like rain in the forecast. I've rerun the Kentucky Derby in my head a million times and I think you have to include any combination of horses that ran in the Derby on your ticket: Lion Heart, Smarty Jones, Borrego, Imperialism. All have flaws, but so do the main newcomers Rock Hard Ten and Eddington. So, to make any $ with Smarty Jones, use him in exactas and trifectas, because he'll probably be 4-5 on the board. I see a potential rerun of last year's Preakness where Peace Rules was thought to turn the tables on Funny Cide and Funny Cide destroyed the field. Smarty Jones might do that today, but to be safe, include the others. A nice Borrego-Imperialism finish would pay very nicely.

Visitor

26 Across: Singer Jones (3 letters) Answer: Tom

Isolation Thought

I am warning everyone. I am now officially looking for bridge abutments every time the Prestique Roofing & Siding commercial comes on the radio. You cannot avoid this commercial, especially if you are listening to sports talk. I'm sure you've heard it, you know the one with "The Whistler". Apparently Mr. Adman went to the folks at Prestique and said, "You know what sells? I'll tell you what sells. Annoying commercials. Yeah, annoying. They can't get them out of their heads." This tactic was used extensively by the folks at the Liberty Auto Group for years. Then it dawned on those dopes that maybe, just maybe, they were pissing off a significant portion of the listening public. You know, the ones that may actually want to buy or lease a vehicle. So, they stopped them. Of course, they did a 180 for a time, with some sort of pseudo-Radiohead electronica that was just plain weird. Ah, but our friends at Prestique have decided that whistling sells roofs and perhaps, siding. I just have a mental image of some ne'er-do-well whistling while preparing to commit some heinous act. Hasn't shown up in a dream yet, but I keep picturing Robert Mitchum in "Night of the Hunter". Man, that movie still creeps me out.

Meal of Links

Olympics in Athens? Who was the marketing genius who thought that one up? The bombing in Athens last week is pooh-poohed by the locals, because it was "the work of anarchists who regularly set off minor explosions near banks or government buildings with the intent of making political statements but not harming people." Richard Jewell nowhere to be seen.

Here they come. Low-calorie orange juices. Let's hope they taste better than that calcium junk.

If you're feeling lonely, reach out and call someone. Here's a site where a stranger might pick up the pay phone you just called.

Exercise Yard

Joe Pa gets a contract extension. Happy Valley becomes Very Unhappy.

Visitor

18 Across: "Crazylegs" Hirsch of the NFL (5 letters) Answer: Elroy

Isolation Thought

My power went out last night for about 40 minutes. This is quite disturbing as CPP usually doesn't pull this crap until July or August. We have plenty of other problems like high gas prices, high milk prices and the related high-ice cream cone prices to be worried about power outages already. I blame Mayor Campbell.

Meal of Links

Look out, Cincinnati!!! The cicadas are back. NCAA "student-athletes" laying down bets on the first cicada-related auto accident.

The Gap reveals its own child labor abuses. But their scarves are so pretty.

Less education leads to less stress. Boy, I had a rough day today.

Exercise Yard

Looks like the NCAA has a problem with "student-athletes" and their gambling. Probably because Bracketology enrollment is at an all-time high.

Visitor

34 Across: Comedian Johnson (4 letters) Answer: Arte

Isolation Thought

What can one say about this? One of the American hostages in Iraq was beheaded. It shows no matter how noble or not our cause might be, we have many years of hatred to contend with, and our chance for success keeps dwindling as each day passes.

Meal of Links

Sony debuts the PlayStation Portable. This looks like a great item, neighbor.

Oasis hires Ringo's son as drummer. Ten bucks says this tour blows up before its over.

Andy Kaufman may make an appearance at the House of Blues on Sunday. Thank you very much.

Exercise Yard

Pittsfield, MA, now claims it's the birthplace of baseball. Abner Doubleday heard to be cursing history again.

Visitor

15 Across: Actress Sophia (5 letters) Answer: Loren

Isolation Thought

I loved the comedian, Alan King, who died yesterday. He was one of the first comedians I remember seeing on TV, probably on "The Ed Sullivan Show". One of the jokes I remember from my youth was one of his, about how all the people die in alphabetical order on the obituary page. He also had a solid routine in the early to mid-70's where there was a big board that contained the fall schedules for the big three networks at the time. He would proceed to trash virtually every show on the board. It was quite good and so unique that I am pretty sure he did this bit on different programs and networks each year. Truly one of the greats.

Meal of Links

The Tony nominations are out. Wolverine did get one for "The Boy from Oz", but no one named Tony was nominated in the "important" categories.

Lurch leads the presidential fund raising on Amazon.com. Be sure to use 1-Click!!!

Mayor Daley wants a casino in Chicago. Governor Tax, turn off your snooze alarm and wake up.

Exercise Yard

I think Jen Capriati might be able to beat me up.

Visitor

36 Down: Paula of TV news (4 letters) Answer: Zahn

Isolation Thought

I just picked up a new digital cable box from Adelphia. It contains a DVR (a Tivo-like device) that may be the greatest invention ever. Pause live TV, do instant replay, store programs on the hard drive forever. It's easy to record stuff and after one day, I can never go back. Much like high-speed internet, they have me hooked. They could start charging $100 a month and I think I'd pay it.

Meal of Links

Vanity Fair has an update on the Lisl Auman case in Denver. I first heard of this case through Hunter S. Thompson about three years ago. Strange story of a girl sentenced for life in a cop killing, while she was handcuffed in police custody, obviously not pulling the trigger. Absolutely fascinating.

Frank Gehry designs a new lab building at MIT.

How to bag a big-time commencement speaker. C-Span shows a lot of these speeches.

Exercise Yard

Saw some decent boxing on HBO last night, before a super-charged crowd in Vegas. The Pacquiao-Marquez fight ended in a draw. Marquez actually fought back from a 10-6 first round, as he got knocked down three times. The bigger story was that local fraud, Vonda Ward, was knocked unconscious in the first round of her fight in MS. Lasted all of 1:07. Ward represents the worst of female boxing. She owned some garbage heavyweight title, fights like a robot, and for some reason is popular around these parts. I'm glad this non-story is finally over. Laila Ali would have kicked her ass to Pago Pago, and Ward was continually saying Ali was ducking her. Good riddance.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

It's one of those days where I have a lot of crap to do. I already put my mulch, from the friendly folks at Lowe's, down this a.m. But I want to head over to the bank, the P.O., Adelphia, get some gas, get some grub, go to Best Buy. It's the type of day when you are running around in the car, it's great to listen to "Whad'Ya Know?" or "Kick Out the Jams". And hopefully, I get everything done early to enjoy a sunny day, a rarity around here.

Meal of Links

Rummy says "It gets worse." BTO chimes in.

Hybrid cars may pose a danger to emergency workers in case they need Bob Wickman. Indians pitcher Wickman was cleverly nicknamed "The Jaws of Life", because of his propensity to eat.

An animated version of Brian Wilson will appear on "Duck Dodgers" this summer. Not much of a stretch for Wilson, as he has been cartoon-like and a quack for years.

Exercise Yard

Practice for the "Greatest Spectacle in Racing" starts today. They added a new base to the BorgWarner Trophy, as well.

Visitor

13 Down: Raven and Beast Boy of comics (10 letters) Answer: Teen Titans

Isolation Thought

I respect our local safety forces very much. But there is no way I can vote for an increase in the city income tax to help pay for more police. This is the same union that threw their brothers under the bus to save their own jobs six months ago. They were the only union who didn't negotiate with the city to try and save jobs of the younger cops. This plea, combined with the inevitable school tax levy, is going to make for a bitter election this fall. The choice will be between safety and kids and sadly, neither side appears to be worth saving at the present time.

Meal of Links

Bill Simmons does his usual great job of critiquing the final episode of "Friends" and the season finale of "The OC". On ESPN's Page 2, "The Sports Guy" refers to the "Friends" episode I referenced yesterday as one that "has to rank among the worst 30 minutes in TV history."

I didn't know Leslie Abramson was Phil Spector's attorney. This combination guarantees fireworks. Quote from Spector, referring to the prosecutor: “He’s the one who proves you can have children through anal sex." And this is just the start.

The San Francisco staff at TechTV gets the axe. G4 better keep Jessica Corbin and Morgan Webb.

Exercise Yard

Spidey on the bases? Never mind. I still can't understand why MLB did not try and have advertising for this film on the fences of major league parks. Could you imagine a huge Spiderman perched on the Green Monster at Fenway or a similar rendering on the wall at Jacobs Field. Not only would that have looked cool, who would complain about advertising, when it's all over the place at a major league park. See, being the Commissioner should be an easy job.

Visitor

33 Across: "The Opposite of Fate" author (6 letters) Answer: Amy Tan

Isolation Thought

Tonight marks the last episode for "Friends". It is a show I never watched. My total exposure over ten seasons was about 60 minutes. I once sat for 15 minutes and did not laugh once. Nary a guffaw, a snort, nor a chuckle. Then I was told that the episode I chose was a lame one and I needed to give it another try. Nope, never did. When you have things like "Chappelle's Show" on TV, why would you sit through that other crap? "I'm rich, bitch."

Meal of Links

My Adidas gets a high-tech transformation. It's time to get ill.

Morrissey plays the Apollo. I checked my calendar. Yes, it's 2004, not 1986.

Everything you should know about the Patriot Act. From the ACLU.

Exercise Yard

Moises Alou has an odd method of preventing calluses. I don't want his'n or your'n.

Visitor

62 Across: Bruce's ex (4 letters) Answer: Demi

Isolation Thought

Today is Cinco de Mayo. It's amazing how many people do not know what this day represents. It's not the battle of the Alamo, it's not Mexican Independence Day, it's not Fernando Valenzuela's birthday. It represents the Battle of Puebla, where the Mexicans beat the French army. Read about it here. Now I'm off for some Mexican food. Probably a Wet Burrito and a Bohemia (or several).

Meal of Links

CVS now wants to allow us to get cheaper medicine from Canada and the rest of the world? OK, what's in it for them?

Does inhaling gas fumes, with current gas prices, still qualify as a cheap high? Darwin Award candidate Jordan Gray isn't around anymore to answer that question.

Michael Moore pisses off the Magic Kingdom. Disney won't distribute his latest film. BTW, it's the most expensive documentary ever, at a cost of $6 million.

Exercise Yard

Who's on first? It's Spidey. Third base.

Visitor

28 Down: Actor Cusack (4 letters) Answer: John

Isolation Thought

I have loads of change laying around the house. Not a penny here, a quarter there. I mean a ton of it. I just opened a desk drawer and there could easily be $400 (lots rolled, some in bags) in it. I've never tried a Coinstar machine before. It looks safe, I just think people have a tendency to look dumb using it. My dumb look ranks with the best, so maybe I should give it a try. My vision of this exercise always ends with me breaking the machine with the odd Canadian penny or two, and of course, they don't exactly place these in a corner. It's right out there, so everyone can see you. If I do it, I'll buy the next round.

Meal of Links

Lurch has decided to roll out $25 million worth of presidential ads. They are everywhere. I think I even saw him in the background on a Buddy's Carpet commercial.

Stem cells can now be used to grow teeth. Makers of Polident are gripping.

Does Van Helsing look like The Undertaker?

Exercise Yard

The Fenway faithful want to ban cellphones behind home plate. Too many people on the phone waving to their buds during a game. This will end in murder someday.

Visitor

23 Across: Guitarist Paul (3 letters) Answer: Les

Isolation Thought

I am now officially the road construction king. The countless projects I have around me include:

Ridge Road will be resurfaced from Memphis Avenue to I-71 beginning today.

Memphis Avenue will be closed to westbound traffic between Fulton Parkway and Pearl Road during a rehabilitation project.

One-lane traffic will remain from I-77 northbound to I-480 westbound during the land-slip repair.

Fulton Road bridge is down to one lane each direction, until the bridge is reconstructed. Or falls down on zoo patrons.

Meal of Links

The British photos of Iraqi prisoner abuse may have been Photoshopped.

"Hey, look it's naked people!" results in capsizing of boat. Captain Depp tried to warn passengers, but was too late.

WBWC finally released their summer marathon schedule. Makes the ride home on Thursdays a bit more tolerable.

Exercise Yard

Jayson Stark tells us why, in baseball, April matters. In other words, it's safe for Tribe fans to make alternate plans for October.

Visitor

68 Across: One-named Spanish singer (5 letters) Answer: Charo

Isolation Thought

With the lack of IPOs recently, especially in the technology arena, the Google IPO is probably getting much more attention than it should. Is it a good idea? Will the company's atmosphere change? How many "Google millionaires" will leave the company with their newly found wealth? I don't care. It's a great tool, I use it daily (I'm already used to the slight format change), the toolbar blocks virtually all pop-ups, and "Google it" has entered the lexicon. If you think you can make money on the stock, buy it. If not, don't buy it. But, isn't that the question for all stocks?

Meal of Links

Supreme Court Justice David Souter was attacked while jogging. Be on the lookout for the phrase "walking a dog" a la Kevin Spacey.

"Meet the beetles".

Apparently, if you meet the height requirement, you can ride the coasters at Six Flags. Guy with cerebral palsy falls from ride and of course, plunges to a hideous death.

Exercise Yard

After tapping out with Tapit in the Kentucky Derby, a million excuses come to mind. Mainly, the rain. That's why betting eight hours in advance of the event sucks. No one will be scared off by Smarty Jones, the Derby winner, and I expect a full field for the Preakness. I thought the wheelchair-bound, oxygen-sucking owner of Smarty Jones was going to die after the race, right there on TV. He had one of those "I gotta sit down" moments that looked like 9-1-1 would be needed. Of course, a few minutes later, he was back to his crochety old self, telling an NBC cameraman he would run him down, if he didn't move. The Derby results.

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None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

We found the newest best seats at Jacobs Field last night. They are in the Market Pavilion in right-center field and have tall bar tables with high-backed chairs and you get a great view. They also had heaters out there, a nice touch on a damp evening. So, use the Pepsi can to get in for $6 and grab a chair. When the weather turns nice though, I think you may have to arrive at (gulp!) 5:30 for games. It draws the smoking and drinking crowd out there, to provide a seedier vibe.

I have to mention the latest "Weekly World News". The cover says the Pope has named Mel Gibson as his successor. Inside, Kim Jong-il of North Korea has banned laughter. Now that's hard to do, especially after reading that last sentence.

Coming off a nice payday in the Kentucky Oaks (I had $10 win/place on Island Sand at 17-1 and she finished second, paying $12.00) yesterday, today is one of my favorite days of the year...the Kentucky Derby. As usual, the early betting has dramatically changed things. I mean, Birdstone was bet down from 50-1 to 15-1 already.

Despite the rain today, Thea Andrews has great legs on "Breakfast at Churchill Downs".

18 Tapit will be my key horse. (Any horse that has Guinness and eggs for breakfast can't be bad. "Brilliant!!")

Here are my plays:

18 Tapit across the board

Exactas: 18/3.8,11,16,20 and 3,8,11,16,20/18

Tapit over/Lion Heart/Master David/The Cliff's Edge/Castledale/Quinton's Gold Rush
Lion Heart/Master David/The Cliff's Edge/Castledale/Quinton's Gold Rush over Tapit

And the $1 tris would be as follows:

18/3.8,11,16,20/3.8,11,16,20 and 3.8,11,16,20/18/3.8,11,16,20 and 3.8,11,16,20/3.8,11,16,20/18

And a saver Win bet on 3 Lion Heart

Meal of Links

Some Canuck is creeped out by the Olsen twins.

"Mission accomplished." Well, no.

Remember when you had to buy bootlegs. Here come instant, legal bootlegs.

Exercise Yard

The Germans are pissed off at their soccer team. They lost 5-1 to Romania, truly an embarrassment for the team. I don't know what they are saying, but when your national team makes Bild, characterized as frankfurters (click on slide show), well, let's just say they are not happy.

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35 Across: Singer profiled in "Sweet Dreams" (5 letters) Answer: Cline