Isolation Thought

Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Browns fans.

Randomness from today's Browns home game:

My brother Jeff was today's special guest. He was present at the only game the Browns Version 2.1 (they were Version 2.0 at the time) defeated the Steelers at home.

Early word was that William Green and Joey Porter were ejected. Before the game! Would seem to favor the Browns on that exchange. Nope.

Today's giveaway: Browns Number One foam finger from Alltel. I think I'll pass, although Cowher and the Steelers were told to sit on it many times.

The cold weather seemed to have killed the smells everywhere, except during the second quarter when I believe someone died in my section.

Running game was non-existent. I like Garcia, but once again his two turnovers were killers. An interception at the Steeler goal line and a fumble returned for a TD. Unacceptable.

The G.E. Smith Band has now progressed from the Budweiser Barking Lot to inside the Stadium to a field location to now having a dugout on the field protecting them from the weather. I am anticipating a glass-enclosed booth by the end of the year. Still don't know how they can play in December. Jeff rightly points that those old-timers from that little combo at Municipal Stadium seemed to play in the winter all the time. Duly noted, but maybe they were drunk.

See ya next year, Winslow. Dude.

A sedate crowd in Section 345 (and most of the Stadium), but lots of Steelers fans and they were loud.

Best line from me (to a drunk wearing a Browns helmet, which I think he bought at Silverman's, walking up the aisle carrying a beer): "Hey, Couch. How ya doin'?"

Best line from a random (to the ref, after he gave the Steelers a TD which was negated, standing on the one): "Hey, Ref. You have an IQ equal to the yardline you're standing on."

Best defacing of a #2 jersey: Really didn't see any.

Oddest Browns jersey (Three-way tie): 56 Rainer, 12 Testaverde, 42 Kirby

Best shirt (a really nerdy guy wearing a t-shirt with blurred lettering): "No Sex Causes Bad Eyesight"

$4 hot dog was purchased.

Asinine halftime contest is still there. Neither team crossed the goal, one didn't cross the 50. Horrible. Flag football was also played at the half and was fun.

Beggar solicitations: 1 (after the game on West 6th...not Marvin Connor.)

Some boas today (even worn by one guy), but no lap dancing.

Bad high school cheerleading.

Drunks were actually under control today, given the rivalry, and no ejections from our section.

The sing-along from Dave & Buster's. The song: "Old Time Rock and Roll". Again. Have they stopped at four songs? They didn't even have the lyrics up and just played the video of Tom Cruise from "Risky Business". Once more, my hatred for this song prevented any singing. Am I at a Browns game or a wedding? Today's crowd dutifully ignored it.

Once again, the Browns season ends in November: "Stick a fork in me, Bobby Hill. I am done." Looks like Cleveland Browns Version 2.2 is in beta testing.

The Browns second coldest (at least I was not freezing...freezing...freezing), but worst home game of the year. Browns lose, 24-10.

Meal of Links

How to make cheap vodka taste like good vodka. Now with my January unoccupied by Browns football, let the experiments begin.

Damn. Why did I remove Old Dirty Bastard from my 2004 Dead Pool? His 13 children will miss him.

Anyone up for a dog toy or marital aid quiz?

Exercise Yard

Omar Vizquel is no longer an Indian. Must have a good agent, because he got three years out of the Giants.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.