The TV arrived today! Stand took about an hour to build. Thankfully, the family credo of "Thou shalt not use power tools." did not have to be invoked. It was easy and it hasn't fallen apart yet. The instructions had few words, mostly pictures. That helped.

But I have a half-assed setup presently because the lady at Adelphia didn't give me a cable with a female part. The box is kinda in the corner, while the TV is in a different position. However, everything is hooked up (I have seemingly 10 pounds of wires criss-crossing everywhere.) and it works. I have some DVDs with the video works of Michel Gondry and Spike Jonze to give it the true test. So I absolutely cranked "The Hardest Button to Button" by The White Stripes and "Elektrobank" by the Chemical Brothers. I love both of those, but the latter has Sofia Coppola as a gymnast in it. Simply put, this new system ROCKS!

Plus there's nothing like seeing the World Series of Poker in HD. Sadly, not all the programming is top-notch. Tanchak's still a goofball though.

Meal of Links

Sharon Osbourne comes correct in the Iron Maiden fiasco. I'd be demanding a refund if I was there.

This is neat. MIT scientists have figured out how to prevent glasses from fogging up. Why, this happened to me today. How timely. Now that I have to watch TV from my kitchen because of the large screen, anything to save my eyes is welcomed.

All right, it's "RockStar:INXS" in HD. We are down to 6 rockers. Brooke Burke with a fugly outfit and there is a choir for backup duty tonight. Ty starts out with "You Can't Always Get What You Want" by the Stones. He hits this one out of the park. JD does "Suspicious Minds". I don't think he did a bad job, even though he copped to being an Elvis impersonator. Oddly enough, no televised reactions from our band, INXS, during this song. Mahtee, Mahtee, Mahtee. Haven't sipped the Kool-Aid yet, but let's say the envelope is in the pantry. Killer version of "Wish You Were Here". Does "American Idol" even try songs like these?

Jordis is up next with "Imagine". Very good version of this one. MiG follows with "Live and Let Die" with special guest backup vocals by yours truly. "You know ya did, You know ya did, You know ya did." Odd song placement. He did a great job, but I agree with the criticism of singing over the instrumental parts. Dude, learn some Elvis moves or something to pass away the time between vocals. Suzie concludes with "Bohemian Rhapsody". Our band, INXS, seemed to be falling over themselves about this version. I thought it was OK, at best.

Very tough to choose tonight. I'd say the bottom three are JD, Jordis and Ty. MiG and Mahtee love are off the charts, so they'll be safe tonight. Suzie will come through as Jordis will be penalized for last week. JD is slip-sliding away and Ty is the "Queen of the Bottom Three".

Early bottom three voting reveals: JD, Ty, and Mahtee(?). Another hour-long show tomorrow. Must be a payback to advertisers for closing shop earlier than anticipated.

Exercise Yard

If you haven't already, it's time to start reading Gregg Easterbrook each Tuesday.

Visitor

50 Down: Rock guitarist Jeff (4 letters) Answer: Beck

While we are watching gas prices escalate, what the hell has happened to Club Soda. Try finding a 2-liter bottle. I commend Giant Eagle for selling Schweppes, but they sell it in 1-liter bottles. At the bargain price of $1.39. That's right, it sells for a buck and thirty-nine cent. That's a crime, folks.

Meal of Links

Guy catches a record tuna in Delaware. But it has record traces of mercury in it. Sorry, Charlie.

Apple is planning a major announcement for next week. How about putting these cartoon themes in iTunes? Maybe they already have.

The new Dove "campaign for real beauty" enlists the "Hippy Hippy Shake".

Exercise Yard

Check and see what other communities are doing for stadium planning.

Visitor

46 Across: Conductor Toscanini (6 letters) Answer: Arturo

If you go see "The 40-Year Old Virgin", make sure you go with someone who laughs really well. Best friend and I saw this movie last night and it joins the pantheon of the all-time comedies. You know, the "Stripes/Caddyshack" types from the old days to the most recent ones including:

"There's Something About Mary"-Saw this at a sneak preview with B.F. years ago and thought she hurt herself laughing so hard. I haven't seen this lately, but it's gotta hold up well, one would think.

"Old School"-My Dad has twice almost laughed himself to death in a theater. The first one was the "Puttin' On the Ritz" scene from "Young Frankenstein". I was not in attendance, but the legend has grown over the years. The second was the Will Farrell pool scene from "Old School". This was at a sneak, as well. He was laughing so hard, I contemplated borrowing a cellphone (heap abuse here) to call 911.

But this movie is the funniest since "Old School". Steve Carrell is now getting more mileage out of just looking at the camera. I expect "The Office" to take off this year. Although the general laughs in this movie were great, some of the references were unbelievably funny:

The Guatemalan love song.
"You know how I know you're gay. You like Coldplay."
Making fun of Michael McDonald was hilarious. Anytime you can work "Ya Mo Be There" into a line is choice.
Dr. Montalban.
Man O'Lantern.
"Be David Caruso in "Jade"." On the floor laughs on that one.
Boner Jams '03.

God, my sides still hurt.

Meal of Links

Suge Knight gets shot in the leg. Dead Pool Rule: Have at least one member of the hip-hop community on your list.

Another article on the new wave of film distribution to the consumer. Still cannot beat seeing a movie in the theater. Just don't buy crap once you're there.

HMV joins the digital music wars. Slightly behind, but they pack a punch.

Exercise Yard

Indians are still on fire. When Boone and Blake homer in a game you win, it's time to start thinking about October baseball.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

I'm not hip to the maritime scene, but I'm Downtown this a.m. and this orange boat comes pulling into port. It's the Staten Island Ferry! Huh? WTF? Talk about overshooting your parking space. It's a pretty cool looking boat and clearly it's an icon. But I haven't a clue why one of them is here. I'm baffled.

Made it over to the Happy Dog last night. It's down on 58th and Detroit. It's kind of a neat place, decent crowd, and they play polkas. They had a band named Ethnic Jazz there. The polka itself is such a weird dance, because it's one of the few dances where women have no inhibitions about dancing with other women. When guys dance together, 99% of time, it's a goof, like the old cutting in joke we've seen a milion times. But when it comes to the polka, women are just flinging each other around like nobody's business. You never see two guys dancing the polka. It's so awkward, you don't even see two gay guys dancing it.

My polkaing, quite frankly, is abysmal. It consists of a lot of apologizing and traffic cop comments. Instead of counting in my head it's, "Sorry." "Didn't mean to kick you." "Wow, I ALMOST hit that lady." "Man, I JUST hit that lady." "That was close." "Look out." Not very enjoyable for all concerned.

The food at the Happy Dog was pretty good. Hummus was a bit runny, but if you stirred it up, it had a good flavor to it. Pita chips were excellent. The hot dogs were great. I had a chili and cheese one and during Tribe games, it's a buck off on the dogs. Pretty good beer selection and they have Old GrandDad. He sits at the bar every...no, I'm talking about the booze. Good times.

Meal of Links

I bought the TV today. And as they used to say in the old days: "It's a Sony!"

The BBC plans to air content available on the Internet concurrently with broadcast operations. Now that's a step forward.

Memo to Katrina: Do not hurt the Tabasco factory, That is all.

Exercise Yard

Somebody invented chessboxing. Win by checkmate or KO. Wouldn't you just angrily sweep the pieces off and jump over the board, flailing away at your opponent?

Visitor

25 Down: 1998 A.L. Manager of the Year (5 letters) Answer: Oates

In an area that could finally use some good news, the city got some great news today. It looks like the BRAC commission disregarded the Pentagon's plan and kept DFAS Cleveland open and could add as many 300 jobs. It's the first big win the city has had in some time. Kudos to Rep. LaTourette, who was the major player in the fight to keep it. Rep. Tubbs Jones, as well. Kucinich and the mayor will take credit also, but if you watched any of the lobbying, LaTourette was the main guy.

It's incredible in a process that is so politicized, we actually won one. Now let's get some momentum going on other projects.

Meal of Links

Katrina and the Waves have another hit. Gimme a break, meteorological humor is not pretty.

I play fantasy football on a very small scale. But now that Berman has actually hosted a fantasy football mock draft on ESPN, I fear the world is ending. This guy hates it, but speaks many truths.

Have you seen the Last-Minute Auction site? Items cost less than a buck and have 60 minutes of bidding left. The Chad Hutchinson rookie card for a penny makes a ton of sense on a lot of levels.

Exercise Yard

Doc Gooden finally turns himself in. I had visions of a white Bronco involved in this case.

Visitor

52 Across: Ex-quarterback "Boomer" (7 letters) Answer: Esiason

There is a new playground that's been constructed this year, a few blocks away from me. The police have placed one of those portable speed limit boards (like in "The Rookie") by the playground so you can tell what your speed is. Above 25 mph, it blinks like crazy. Now the kids gather in front of the board and yell "Slow Down!" when you are above 25. Is it OK if I yell you, "Fuck you! Stay on the curb." when I get the slow down treatment? I'm just sayin', not that I've yelled that or anything.

"RockStar:INXS" was an expanded one-hour version this week. Why? That's anyone's guess. There are 7 rockers left and at one time or another, 6 were in the bottom three. Suzie was safe. That was a headscratcher.

The final three consisted of Ty and Deanna and a third person. Each one gets to do an INXS song. Ty drew "What You Need" and did OK, I guess. I thought his voice was too high, but I do think he's safe. Deanna grabbed her crotch, of course, several times during her song, "Elegantly Wasted". Andrew Farriss seems to really like her breasts...er...voice. Please, fire her now. The third person was revealed after a break for reality show drama. And it was...Mahtee! Thank God it wasn't Jordis, who looked like she was gonna hurl. Mahtee sang "Don't Change", which is one of my fave raves from any band and I think he did a helluva job with it. Now, I haven't devoted all of this time to this show to be wrong. Look, Deanna is just not right for our band, INXS. Now I wanna hear them say it. Thanks, guys. Deanna gets the boot. Suzie cries again! I must say, though, Deanna's tearful departure was kinda sad. We wish her all the best in her future endeavors.

Hey, it's The Who with "CSI Song".

Meal of Links

Let's see if Nancy Grace stays on this story. A teen actress is missing.

Pat Robertson says it depends on what your definition of assassination is. I'm sorry I was among the millions who misinterpreted those comments.

Does Sony have a shot with the Blu-Ray DVD. Or is it a 21st century Betamax?

Exercise Yard

The hounds are out for Lance again and possible doping. This time, there is a sample that says Lance tested positive for EPO in 1999. Lance is in a no-win on this one. He's gotta fight hard to save his rep. No one thought Tyler Hamilton was a doper either, but he was. At least Lance didn't wag his finger at anyone, that we know of.

Visitor

13 Down: 30's candidate Landon et al (3 letters) Answer: Alf

Today was off to a great start as I got to see the baseball antics from "Naked Gun". Leslie Nielsen umping, Reggie Jackson going to kill the Queen, etc. Then I find out that Pat Robertson has put the ass back into assassination.

Will someone inform Pat that Hugo Chavez oversees the most oil reserves in the hemisphere. Why fuel the flames of anti-Americanism in a region where our past hijinks have led to the resurgence of hatred down there. Ay carumba, the guy is supposed to be a broadcaster, and a Christian one at that.

Meal of Links

Iron Maiden was not pelted with rocks and garbage, but with eggs during their Ozzfest finale. They must have pissed off Ozzy, who I'm sure was unaware, leaving the dirty work to Sharon.

Several movies about punk are coming out. Of particular note, one on the Germs, an influential LA Band and another on Arthur Kane of the New York Dolls. I have "Punk: Attitude" on "Never Erase" mode on the DVR.

More reality elements are creeping into "Rock Star:INXS", which is, I guess, a reality show. With only 7 rockers left, they have to stretch things in a 60-minute show. Although I thought Brooke Burke looked hot in her red outfit this evening.

Deanna and MiG got to sing original songs tonight. MiG's was OK, Deanna's was meh. Why she collaborated with the person (Ty) behind the song, "Stop! Go!", I'll never know.

MiG is in. Ty did "Proud Mary", complete with chicks on backup, he's safe. J.D. did "Cold As Ice", he's safe. Mahtee did "I Alone" by Live, and I think he did a really good job on that, so he's safe. So, I think it's gonna be an all-female bottom three again. Suzie did "Start Me Up" and it was OK, I guess. Jordis (who was so strong early) has struggled the last three weeks, I think, and did not do so great with "Dream On". Deanna is hated by everyone and she has to go.

Exercise Yard










UC Coach Bob Huggins is told to get outta Dodge by tomorrow. How about CSU getting him for 2006? I am so-o-o-o-o funny.

Visitor

60 Down: Director Kazan (4 letters) Answer: Elia

Keith Richards lives!!! Folks, there's hope for us all.















Well, it looks like I'm buying a TV. I believe it will be one of those newfangled ones. The Mercury retrograde is over, so I have to get down to brass tacks before the NFL season starts. I have to take a look at two more and should be able to make a decision soon. Then it's football in HD. I may never leave the palatial estate again.

Meal of Links

It's not only the movies that are suffering from lack of attendance. Now, it's broadcast networks' turn to gripe about losses in viewership.

Robert Moog died. Emerson, Lake and Palmer should play at the service.

The hype is already starting for the Johnny Cash biopic. I'm tellin' ya, the trailer I saw looks pretty good.

Exercise Yard

In case you're sleeping, wake up, because it's time for the Little League World Series. First of all, it's unfair to have Sam Ryan as a sideline reporter with all of those hormones running wild.

I also saw a kid who looked old enough to date Sam Ryan. The dude had sideburns and a chin beard. Kind of like Eric Gagne without the glasses. Of course, he struck out 18 in 6 innings.

I know I have reached a level of sickness, when I'm yelling at the managers in these games! I saw a game yesterday where the manager pulled his starter with a big lead. The kid was struggling and had some defensive lapses behind him. This jerk comes out with the hook. And, you know what happens? They proceed to lose by one, on a throwing error. Then the losing kids started crying. Ha ha.

I love this game!

Visitor

3 Down: Bobby of hockey (3 letters) Answer: Orr (Go Bruins!)

Thanks to Paul for hosting yesterday's Browns win over the Lions. It really shows why the fans need a preseason game, as well. The timing of the food needs to be perfected, delivery of Bloody Marys is most important, you have to realize the second TV doesn't need a remote to be turned on (I'll cop to that one), and you can't forget who quarterbacks Green Bay, especially when his name is Brett Favre (I will not say who blew that one).

Impressions of the Browns, thus far. At least during game 2, we witnessed a professional broadcast. Bomb Golic needs to quit singing and will a doctor tell this numbnuts that a concussion is not a "good injury"? I like Charlie Frye, because I don't care how fast he runs, what his mechanics are, etc. When he's on the field, he seems to make things happen. Last year at this time, I thought the same about Luke McCown and he's not around anymore. Defense can't give up 4 yards a rush like it's continuing to do. Josh Harris looks good as a return man. Orlando Ruff seems to be making an impact at linebacker. Otherwise, it's way too early to tell.

Meal of Links

Doesn't look like there is a blockbuster in this year's fiction releases. For non-fiction, it's good to see some love lately for Darcy Frey's 1994 release, "The Last Shot". Great book about high school basketball.

Did you catch "Woodstock" on VH1 this weekend? It still cracks me up that Sha Na Na was on the bill and somehow got applause.

















Hunter Thompson's ashes went kablooey over his estate yesterday. Larry Dolan gets some ideas.

Exercise Yard

The Tribe keeps winning. I guess we shouldn't have made any trades, huh? Casey Blake actually saved our bacon on Friday. These are tough pills to swallow. But this is one mentally tough group of Wahoos and I give Wedgie credit for that.

Visitor

None, but it was a beautiful Sunday today.

Oh no, it's Devo, D-E-V-O. I was at Scene Pavilion last night to see Devo and English Beat. Kind of a "Hit Me Baby One More Time", only of a much higher quality. English Beat sang all the ones you would expect, except for "Best Friend". Dave Wakeling is the only guy left from the originals and did a pretty decent job on vocals. And had an anti-war statement, as well.

Then Devo took the stage. What an effort. The spuds were in the house and the band was in really good form. You can't help but laugh at some of their moves and outfits, but they sounded awesome. They had a video from General Boy at the start that showed many clips from their career that was excellently produced. I'd say the highlights for me were "Jocko Homo" (you know, "We are Devo"), "Girl U Want", and "Freedom of Choice". I have to apologize to the lady sitting in front of me, whoever you are. I sorta...kinda...well, no I actually hit her in the head while doing a "Freedom of Choice" march. Conked her right in the noggin. Apologized profusely as I could, then continued on. I had a great time.

I've revisited two other bands from a long time ago and I gotta tell you, they had some fine rcordings out there. One is Gang of Four, who are in the midst of a comeback. The other is Shriekback. OK, the bands are related, but dust them off if you have them, and give those records a spin.

Meal of Links

If you like real soda pop, this one's for you.

The new Disney chief says that DVDs could be released at the same time as movies at the theatre. Hollywood has essentially killed the second-run industry because the window between a film's release and its DVD release is getting shorter. It's probably the future, because people are staying away from the movies. That's a shame. I still think it's a great experience.

More info on Intel helping Cleveland develop WiFi. Currently, it's just to help government functions.

Exercise Yard

Randy Moss smokes the hippy lettuce. Can't say I'm shocked, but Moss must have said I gotta get me some headlines, instead of T.O.

Visitor

39 Down: Delay on the Hill (3 letters) Answer: Tom

Tonight's episode of "RockStar:INXS" was a no-brainer. Jessucka finally was declared to be "not roit for our band, INXS." So we are down to seven. The bottom three tonight were all women and Deanna is probably next on the chopping block. J.D. was solidly on the middle of voting after his finger-wiggling performance of "As Tears Go By". I think that's only because the amount of voting has doubled in the last two weeks. Lots of love for Marty, Jordis, and elf-eared MiG. Ty is slipping. Suzi is kind so-so.

What the hell was Brooke Burke wearing? It looked some sort of Van Winkle beard accessory.

Meal of Links

Snoop Dogg has destroyed the kids' football league he coaches in. However, he's got a great party bus.

Governor Tax looks like he's also a criminal. For the love of God, Democrats, now is your chance to take that office.

Microsoft has set the price of Xbox 360 at $299 and $399. That sounds reasonable.

Exercise Yard

I was at the Indians game tonight. We had a group from work in attendance. Last year we went to a day game against Texas and we lost, 12-0. Tonight we saw Texas and the Tribe lost, 3-0. I'm sensing a trend. A yawner of a game.

Visitor

28 Down: Philbin's co-host (4 letters) Answer: Ripa

I did not have high hopes for the all-acoustic "Rockstar:INXS" this evening. I must say though, six of the eight songs were pretty good. I happen to be a fan of the Stones' "As Tears Go By", but J.D. really destroyed that song, I felt. And Deanna did a Bonnie Raitt song that was OK, but no great shakes. I think her or Jessucka hit the road this week.

The highlight for me this evening was buying soup at Giant Eagle. No lie, Progresso Classics were 8 for $10 and Tomato Basil was in season. I normally don't shop that close to 10 p.m., and now I know why. Lots of creepy people wandering about. My other coup was grabbing Ritz Bits with Cheese boxes with that 20% extra for free label on them. I'm sensing another batch of savory goodness arriving soon.

Meal of Links

A review of the White Stripes. It's getting closer.

P. Diddy takes a P...off his name.

The auction to have your name in a book is a really cool idea. Wouldn't you love to be killed off by Stephen King?

Exercise Yard

Diego Maradona has pulled himself off the mat and is now...a TV talk show host? This would be the US equivalent of Mike Tyson hosting a show.

Visitor

71 Across: Senator Sam of Watergate fame (5 letters) Answer: Ervin

I haven't seen the replay of the Browns game yet, but I have come to understand that Bob Golic sucked as the Browns play-by-play man. Seems to me you could have had him do color commentary, but not play-by-play. One gem that was told to me, "Great tackle by that Giants guy." Uh-oh, that's pretty bad. Again, my standard for broadcasters is if I think I can do better, you probably have no business being on the air. Let's see if they get better next week. Rumor has it that Paul Warfield is in the booth as a guest this week. That would probably be a bad idea.

Meal of Links

Pete Doherty gets arrested again. But he got back in time to vomit on stage. Well done, Pete.

The saga of Fiona Apple's album continues. Kids ask, "Who's Fiona Apple?"

Bill Clinton decides to burn a CD of his favorite songs. But then he'll sell the copies.

Exercise Yard

Bob Wickman's replacement.

Visitor

40 Across: Gossipy Barrett (4 letters) Answer: Rona

OK, this is the part where I usually recap last night's Browns game. But I've come to abhor paying full fare for preseason games and then watching them in person. Don't get me wrong, I'll watch the games on TV, but I don't like the idea of being bent over and forced to pay for these mockeries. Having said that, my cousin Gale and I trudged down for last night's game. With parking after 4:00 already at a premium, the prospects of paying $15 for parking loomed large. However, with resignation looming over the car, we found an excellent spot, indeed, the last one, on good old Franz Pastorius Boulevard. Zero is better than fifteen. You may ask yourself, 4:00, didn't the game start at 8:00? Yes, it did, but before the game, we went with all the other Cool Kids to the Burning River Fest at Voinovich Park.

I confess, I didn't spend much time looking at the artist's wares or educate myself about green stuff, but I was there to have some food and beer and listen to some music in a really good location. They need to have more events like that down there. I'd say attendance was OK, nothing great. Great Lakes sponsored it and they had a "beer garden" which needs to be closer to the stage next year. State law, we learned, required us to be penned in there and you couldn't walk around with your beer.

The scoop: You needed to buy tickets for food and beer. There were about 10 restaurants there. Some of the items we sampled were Mini Fire Burgers from Fire, Corn on the Cob from Fire, Saint Louis Ribs from Fat Cats and a Pulled Pork Sandwich from Flying Fig. All excellent. Mitchell's ran out of ice cream before we could get over there. Beer was $4.00. I had the Dortmunder. We also got to witness a generational debate over the war and met two people in particular, a guy from Parma and a woman from Bratenahl. It always amazes me how nice people are in this town, and it helps if they are funny too, as these two were. It made for a very enjoyable time before the game.

Meal of Links

Lucille Ball is Queen of the Dead. Dead Celebrities, that is. I'm sure she'll be booked on Larry King this week.

Another article on the gloom and doom of entertainment spending in the States. I am stupefied when people say it's expensive at the movies. Here are some hints: Go to a matinee. Don't pay outrageous sums of money for food there and look at junior, he doesn't need the largest bucket of popcorn, with "butter in the middle" either. And, if you need food, buy smaller sizes. Bingo, you're savin' money. And turn off that damn cell phone. Thank you. "Courtesy is contagious."

Would you vote for Christopher Walken in 2008? "You're a cantaloupe."

Exercise Yard

Now for the Browns game. When the highlight is free parking, you know you're in for a great evening. The G.E. Smith Band returns as the house band!! When we arrived, his mike wasn't working. I don't think he's ever sounded better. Anyhow, there was a wonderful rendition of the National Anthem before the game. Attendance was maybe 60%. I tossed out a couple of lines. You know, it's preseason for me, as well. Brodney Pool was concussed on the opening kickoff, "One play, one meat wagon." After Tiki Barber ran through our defense for about 10 yards, I said, "I wish we had Asian convenience store worker to stop him." (Click on Triple Threat for reference.) At 11:56 of the first quarter, the ref stopped the game, because lightning was in the area. And it was true. Then the rains came and washed all the crops away. After the rain delay, we left and went to a place where everyone knows my name. When I got home after 12:00, the game was STILL being played. BTW, the Browns, in a yawner, won 17-14.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

This morning, the Browns crew was busily planting the verboten list of items you can bring in to the Stadium. I say planting, because that's where they put them, right in those anti-terrorist planters at the south gates. I think my favorites were: Animals, Confetti or Glitter, and Fireworks or Missile-like Devices. That means my bazooka-totin' glam dog, T. Rex, can't come to the game with me. The glitter/confetti thing is a surprise, because they are telling us, in not so many words, it's easier to clean up vomit than confetti or glitter.

Sometimes you see some odd vanity plates around town. Today's was "MR BOMB". Not sure how to react when you come upon a car like that. It was a Lincoln Town Car. He had a pinkie ring. Do you pull up next to him and say, "You're the bomb!"?

BTW, I paid ONLY $2.39 for gas today at the Yorktown Citgo.

Meal of Links

God bless Roger Ebert. Roger may have one foot in the grave, but damn, he can still write. His review of "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" is the latest example of his genius.

Not sure what to make of only 6,000 people at Destiny's Child last night. I mean Beyonce is one of the most beautiful singers out there. So, what's the reason? Ticket prices were probably too high. I think 50 Cent is in town soon and that's selling well. I'd like to think fans saw the tour for what it is, a money grab, but you know that's not true. I think it's another example of the economy only able to support so many acts. Hence, the Stones skipping us for the first time in memory.

The Midwestern drought is rivalling 1988. Less corn, less soybeans...crunchier lawns.

Exercise Yard

It looks like T.O. is hellbent on destroying the Eagles. I don't think it'll happen. He'll be traded or "Keyshawned" and be active, but inactive. Besides, Chad Johnson is the guy you should watch.

Visitor

15 Across: "The Red House Mystery" author (7 letters) Answer: A.A. Milne

I'm back. I've only been bowing at the altar of Brooke Burke for the last two days. Her "skirt" on "Rockstar: INXS" on Tuesday will be the quest of excavations for centuries, because they'll never find it. It was some wind chimey thing. I'm wondering how many staffers had to help position her to sit down without exposing her vertical smile. She needs to wear that stuff on the Wednesday programs to spice them up a bit.

Brandon, "Kip Winger" guy, got the boot on the show last night. I mean the dude messed up the lyrics thrice. Bye. Suzie was in the bottom three, and I can't figure out why, but she survived and cried. Again. Has to be 12 shows now, that's she cried. "Don't cry for me, I-N-X-S." Jessucka survived once again. Only to get the boot next week. She is the Scott Savol of this show. The world HATES her. Please leave. She is not right for our band, INXS.

Meal of Links

I saw Kareem Abdul-Jabbar last night. Not in a basketball-related scenario, but in the movie "Airplane" on the big screen, at the Palace. I thought the movie held up well and it is still very funny. Enrico Palazzo was in it, too.

"The Sopranos" have lots more episodes to go before it ends its run. Lots of bonus episodes. Has there been 100 episodes yet? That seems to be the magic number for syndication.

Today's Lesson: How to tip properly.

Exercise Yard

Since hockey has returned, my angst regarding the Boston Bruins has returned. But they signed Joey Thornton. I know it's August, but that's good news for the first-place Bruins.

Visitor

65 Across: '60s United Nations secretary general (6 letters) Answer: U Thant

I confess. I watched the Space Shuttle landing this a.m., not because I thought something bad would happen, but because they pre-empted "Imus". And it had to be when "Brian Wilson" was on. Bastards.

But it was a lovely sight to see them land safely. Now let's fix the falling foam before we send another one up there.

Meal of Links

Keith Olbermann had what may have been the toughest anti-smoking advice I've ever seen on TV. Don't worry, he's still silly. I saw the "Runaway Bride" mowing the lawn for her community service on his show today.

Fox News favorite Jeanine Pirro will run for the Senate in New York vs. Hillary Clinton. Pirro should have opted for Governor, in my opinion.

Did anyone see Kate Hudson on the Leno show last week? Omigod, is she flying up the charts. Seriously, I never noticed. Stunning.

Exercise Yard

Kurt Busch leaves Roush to race for Roger Penske. He'll replace Rusty Wallace, who's retiring. This is a major move.

Visitor

21 Across: Inventor Whitney (3 letters) Answer: Eli

I happened to see an outstanding movie yesterday, "Murderball". This is a documentary about the United States Quadriplegic Rugby Team. It is an amazing look at the sport of quad rugby, which is basically an excuse for guys to ram the shit out of each other with their custom wheelchairs on an indoor basketball court. Very uplifting. You also have heroes, villains, hot chicks, and is well worth the 90 minutes. Why waste your cash on crap like "Dukes of Hazzard" when you can see stuff like this?

Peter Jennings died over the weekend. Don't forget what a compelling correspondent he was. His work with Jim McKay at the 1972 Olympics was outstanding. That remains one of ABC's greatest days in journalism. Do you realize within the last nine months Rather, Brokaw and Jennings are no longer anchoring the nightly news? Truly, an end of an era.

Meal of Links

Here is why some people are dying in their sleep. Of course, it has to occur in REM and dreaming stages. I've killed enough brain cells without worrying about the ones that allow you to breathe.

The merchandising of Jerry Garcia keeps truckin' along.

Two jurors in the Michael Jackson trial say, "He's bad, bad." Must be publicity hounds.

Exercise Yard

Big one for Tony Stewart at Indy. I love the guy. Probably the one NASCAR driver who reminds me of the old days. Plus, he drives everything. Open wheel, Lemans series, midgets...the whole deal. And I had him in NASCAR Fantasy, hah.

Visitor

It's too late to look.

I went to see a sneak preview of a pretty good war flick last night, "The Great Raid". I liked it because it was a throwback to the kind of war movie that shows up on AMC or Turner on Memorial Day. Very Hitler Channelesque. You know the type, the Japanese are very, very bad and the US is really, really good. And we actually had help from allies, in this case, the Filipino Army. Quick backstory: When MacArthur pulled out of the Philippines, the Bataan Death March took place. The survivors of the March ended up in three POW camps. This movie dealt with the rescue mission of one of the camps.

Cool story, because the rescue mission had two problems. The Japanese had already burned POWs alive at one of the camps, as there was an order to exterminate all POWs, so they had to get there ahead of that action. On the other hand, MacArthur returned and was advancing. The reality was if MacArthur got close, those POWs would have been exterminated anyhow. So, the rescue mission, in effect, had to beat MacArthur to the camp. Pretty neat, huh?

I went strictly on the recommendation of Stephen Hunter, movie critic of the Washington Post, who mentioned it on Tony Kornheiser's radio show a week or so ago. And it was well worth it. John Dahl ("Rounders", "Red Rock West", "The Last Seduction") directed and it was filmed like an oldie. Top-notch acting from Benjamin Bratt, who I used to think was a toss-away, but actually has done some interesting things lately. James Franco and Joseph Fiennes are also very good. Franco might be the best young actor out there, with the least amount of publicity. Trust me, this will disappear faster than dessert at Bob Wickman's house, so if you get a chance, see it on the big screen. It starts Friday.

Meal of Links

I was extremely bored while watching the pre-movie slides at Cinemark last night. But this caught me eye. About three times. It's Movie Loan Guy.

The trailers last night were pretty bad. "The Brothers Grimm" looked bad, but Monica Belucci got my attention. They actually had one for "The Da Vinci Code". Mark that for May 19, 2006! The one that caught my eye was Joaquin Phoenix as Johnny Cash in "Walk The Line". Reese Weatherspoon as June Carter Cash. I'm there in November. Shelby Lynne plays Carrie Cash, BTW.

The guy eating popcorn in front of me was unbearable to watch. He had a method of wife holding the largest bucket imaginable. He would do the reach into said bucket with right arm, tilt head back, stuff piehole with kernels, then chomp loudly, repeat 1,000 times without stopping. This is what I like on mine.

Exercise Yard

Jenna Jameson wants Mike Tyson to star in a porn film. I find it ludicrous, but I also know it will sell.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

I got to see so many friends last night. Best Friend and Best Friend Spouse on their way to the big "If I Could Drink With The Animals" thing at the zoo. Couple more on their way to see (gulp) Kenny Chesney. And my cousin Ron shows up. It was great to drink with him and neither one of us got into any trouble for doing it. For a change.

So I got up early and walked off the many beers I had yesterday. Of course, I do this down by the Stadium and surrounding environment. The final preparations for tonight's practice were already underway and I'm sure my car is now on the profiled list of the authorities. You see, they were already blocking the street at 8 a.m. That seems early to me, but as I was making one of my circuits I noticed a security truck by my car. When I got closer, I noticed West Third was blocked, so I had to move down by the Science Center. No words exchanged, but I could see lots of scribbling going on when I moved. The grass lokked mowed and from the outside it looked like a go for the practice.

Meal of Links

Is it just me or have the Russians perfected the art of leaving a submarine on the floor of a body water? I guess no lessons were learned from the last one.

Holly Hunter is pregnant with twins. Wait a minute, I thought "her insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase."

We're melting.

Exercise Yard

The NCAA has decided to ban all Indian mascots. Once again, the NCAA doesn't do a total ban, the rule only applies to mascots appearing in postseason events. Which seems odd that it's OK where you're at, but not on a national stage. This happened at my alma mater, Miami, a while back, and even with official blessing from the tribe, it didn't wash with the NCAA. So, out with Redskins, in with Redhawks. People get all blustery about it, but resisitance proves futile. My sense is that North Dakota and Florida State will put up the biggest fights.

Visitor

34 Across: Bandleader Lewis (3 letters) Answer: Ted ("Is everybody happy?")

The news from Iraq about the fallen Marines hit very close to home, as some locals are among the dead. So senseless. But the country seems to be in some sort of slumber about the war. We've become sheep.

There was some encouraging news, however, as a Democrat got 48 percent of the vote in a special election yesterday near Cincinnati. Paul Hackett pretty much ran an anti-war, anti-Bush campaign and almost got it done. Admittedly, he was a handsome guy running against what appeared to be (and I'm being charitable) an old hag, and that probably helped a bit. But I'm gonna say it was his message that almost carried the day in a district Bush won by 40 percent. See, if you line up new candidates with the right message, it can happen.

Meal of Links

I was reading the latest Sunday Tasmanian (don't we all?) and came across Jimmy Barnes attacking our band, INXS. But another crack appears in the Burnett empire. Much like the ratings for "The Contender" forced a move to a cable partner, "RockStar: INXS" is headed for VH1. Only the Sunday version. That's the reality half-hour that is insipid. It was losing a lot of the audience from its lead, "Two and a Half Men". The Tuesday and Wednesday episodes remain on CBS, with Saturday reruns on VH1 for the DVR-challenged. Tonight's episode had some strange public voting. Ty flubbed a Foo Fighters song last night and deserved to be there. But Tara and Brandon did some of their best work and somehow ended up in the bottom three. The public doesn't like Tara and our band, INXS, finally agreed and jettisoned her this evening.

Wouldn't it be great to have this woman bag your bagel? And I mean that in a deli sort of way.









Sandra Bullock helps her sister. Such a nice young lady.

The Lohan divorce trial is underway. Nothing like the word "lurid" in a headline to get your attention.

Exercise Yard

Len Pasquarelli of ESPN.com said the Browns Version 2.4 would overachieve to win 6 games this year. Ouch! That was in his Insider column, here is what he wrote for the rest of us.

Visitor

46 Down: Reeves of "The Matrix" (5 letters) Answer: Keanu

Today was not the typical 60-minute Cleveland power outage. It was the 150-minute variety! Right when I was about to load chicken wings into the oven. At least this time I had an iPod to go along with my candles to get through it. Power returned in time for "RockStar:INXS".

Tonight's version of the show was exponentially better than last week. Once again, it looks like the women will end up on the chopping block. I think people do not like Tara, Deanna or Jessica. I certainly don't, so one of them is gone. The standout tonight was Jordis who sang Bowie's "The Man Who Sold The World". The only woman I've heard sing this song before was Lulu, of all people. And her version was actually pretty good. But Jordis was outstanding. Best of the night.

Yeah, I feel bad for the Cleveland schools and the defeat of another tax levy, but they have to understand, we are tired of any tax at this point. It's unfortunate that it was their turn at bat. Only 42,000 voted, too. If they come back in November for another vote, they're idiots. Maybe a new mayor would help their image.

Meal of Links

Wisconsin wants to raise the speed limit to 75. Florida chimes in and says, "We don't need no stinkin' limit."

How to shop for groceries. I think I have the pen and paper steps down pat. After that...chaos. Especially with the changing of that local Giant Eagle floor plan. I looked for toothpaste for 10 minutes in there the other day. The week before, 10 minutes for chicken broth. I'm old and refuse to ask for help.

A bunch of household hints. Number 71, "How to freshen stale nuts" seemed a bit harsh. Oh, those nuts.

Exercise Yard

Looks like Rafael Palmeiro decided to take Ben Johnson's old favorite, Winstrol. So much for a flawed test.

Visitor

51 Across: "Spicy" Barbara Bain TV role (14 letters) Answer: Cinnamon Carter

"Shut it down." Yes, it's the "Hell's Kitchen" finale. Chef Ramsay is great, yelling at folks, spewing the f-word all over, a great model for you youngsters watching at home. "Give me your jacket."

Tickets, I have tickets. My Browns ducats finally showed up today. That means I have to get in football mode. Two home games around the holidays this year...a great out for family functions, I'd say. BTW, I'm available for Thanksgiving this year.

I also got my CSU basketball ticket renewal. Of course, I'm in. Mindless entertainment while watching hoops cheaply. I love it. They had their first price increase since 1993. Of course, they have pretty much sucked since 1993, so you get what you pay for.

Meal of Links

CBGB's looks like it's finally on its last legs. As usual, it's the rent.

Once more, an unfortunate headline.

There is a vote for a tax levy for the Cleveland Public Schools tomorrow. Please wake up all the elderly within the city limits so they can vote. You know...for the kids.

Exercise Yard

"Never mind".









Rafael Palmeiro was suspended for steroids. There is something about waving your finger at the camera amidst a denial. "I did not have sex with that woman...Miss Lewinsky." Palmeiro is part of that Jose Canseco connection in Texas (under President Bush as owner, I might add) which includes Ivan Rodriguez and Juan Gonzalez. I find it interesting Jim Thome broke down this year, too. Oh, it was his bad back? You mean the same one he's had for years, but still played through? OK. I forgot, he's "country strong".

Visitor

20 Across: "Bonanza" brother (4 letters) Answer: Hoss