OK, this is the part where I usually recap last night's Browns game. But I've come to abhor paying full fare for preseason games and then watching them in person. Don't get me wrong, I'll watch the games on TV, but I don't like the idea of being bent over and forced to pay for these mockeries. Having said that, my cousin Gale and I trudged down for last night's game. With parking after 4:00 already at a premium, the prospects of paying $15 for parking loomed large. However, with resignation looming over the car, we found an excellent spot, indeed, the last one, on good old Franz Pastorius Boulevard. Zero is better than fifteen. You may ask yourself, 4:00, didn't the game start at 8:00? Yes, it did, but before the game, we went with all the other Cool Kids to the Burning River Fest at Voinovich Park.

I confess, I didn't spend much time looking at the artist's wares or educate myself about green stuff, but I was there to have some food and beer and listen to some music in a really good location. They need to have more events like that down there. I'd say attendance was OK, nothing great. Great Lakes sponsored it and they had a "beer garden" which needs to be closer to the stage next year. State law, we learned, required us to be penned in there and you couldn't walk around with your beer.

The scoop: You needed to buy tickets for food and beer. There were about 10 restaurants there. Some of the items we sampled were Mini Fire Burgers from Fire, Corn on the Cob from Fire, Saint Louis Ribs from Fat Cats and a Pulled Pork Sandwich from Flying Fig. All excellent. Mitchell's ran out of ice cream before we could get over there. Beer was $4.00. I had the Dortmunder. We also got to witness a generational debate over the war and met two people in particular, a guy from Parma and a woman from Bratenahl. It always amazes me how nice people are in this town, and it helps if they are funny too, as these two were. It made for a very enjoyable time before the game.

Meal of Links

Lucille Ball is Queen of the Dead. Dead Celebrities, that is. I'm sure she'll be booked on Larry King this week.

Another article on the gloom and doom of entertainment spending in the States. I am stupefied when people say it's expensive at the movies. Here are some hints: Go to a matinee. Don't pay outrageous sums of money for food there and look at junior, he doesn't need the largest bucket of popcorn, with "butter in the middle" either. And, if you need food, buy smaller sizes. Bingo, you're savin' money. And turn off that damn cell phone. Thank you. "Courtesy is contagious."

Would you vote for Christopher Walken in 2008? "You're a cantaloupe."

Exercise Yard

Now for the Browns game. When the highlight is free parking, you know you're in for a great evening. The G.E. Smith Band returns as the house band!! When we arrived, his mike wasn't working. I don't think he's ever sounded better. Anyhow, there was a wonderful rendition of the National Anthem before the game. Attendance was maybe 60%. I tossed out a couple of lines. You know, it's preseason for me, as well. Brodney Pool was concussed on the opening kickoff, "One play, one meat wagon." After Tiki Barber ran through our defense for about 10 yards, I said, "I wish we had Asian convenience store worker to stop him." (Click on Triple Threat for reference.) At 11:56 of the first quarter, the ref stopped the game, because lightning was in the area. And it was true. Then the rains came and washed all the crops away. After the rain delay, we left and went to a place where everyone knows my name. When I got home after 12:00, the game was STILL being played. BTW, the Browns, in a yawner, won 17-14.

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None, it's Sunday.