Here are some random things I think you should see or do:

First of all, if I'm at the light at Superior and 9th and Mass is being broadcast to the street from inside St. John's, do I need to turn down "Crosstown Traffic" on my radio? OK, it was loud and I get to sing backup and Jimi's kinda spiritual. Should I start waxing my surfboard for the Lake of Fire now?

Anyhow, you must watch "Shawn of the Dead" on your local cable outlet. Very funny and not gory (paint and ink stuff). The scene where they beat up a zombie in a bar with Queen on the jukebox had me on the floor.

The Winking Lizard's "Shot in the Dark" run/walk is now the area's third largest in only its second year. Missed last night's, but went in year one and I need to mark it down for next year. I don't mean participating, I mean sittin' outside on a Saturday night when people are actually Downtown. 2500 particpants plus friends/family and beer and a band means many people. Plus I don't have to eat their food.

Add Buster Olney's baseball blog as a must-read on ESPN.com. With Uncle Petey Gammons to the Hall of Fame today, it's "24 Hours of Buster" on ESPN as the baseball trading deadline draws to a close today. Olney's blog is part of the ESPN Insider package (which costs $40/year or something), and is excellent. Add it to Peter King on SI on Mondays and Gregg Easterbrook on NFL.com on Tuesdays. King should be starting his training camp visits soon, if he has not done so already.

Podcasting is pretty cool. Some are basically downloaded versions of radio shows which is fine. I am a big fan of Harry Shearer's "le Show" and I can listen whenever I want. And Baseball Prospectus actually has a nice 45-minute show, as well. IPodLounge also has a short report that fits in nicely with my schedule. Those are the ones I like, the 5-8 minute ones that give you information you might not normally hear. Tons of them on travel, sports, really anything out there. It may not be the future, but as websites prove, the really good ones can survive.

Good to see a pedestrian bridge to Voinovich Park will be built. It's a neat park, but you have to go down to 9th by the Mather to get there. This bridge will actually be where all the people park, on the WEST side of the Science Center and Rock Hall. I think the one millionth person to walk down the walkway by the Rock Hall, only to figure out they couldn't cross there to the Goodtime must have snapped. Now watch them haul one of those old Gordon Park pedestrian bridges across I-90 and put that up there.

"Being Bobby Brown" on Bravo is on Thursday nights. Watch it. You'll laugh.

Over the last year or so, I feel the PD has really stepped up their recipes in the food section. A couple of weeks ago, they had a Turkey Chili recipe using chicken broth that was dynamite. Look for it. At least one per week is worth trying.

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There are some interesting facts about Neil Diamond in this article. Like he was the top revenue-producing live act of the 90's. Gulp. He's in Cleveland soon. And Rick Rubin is producing his next album. Yes, that Rick Rubin.

In case you have not heard of "The Aristocrats", here is what it's all about.
And here.

OK, here is the new all-time official time waster. And it's a good one.

Exercise Yard

Speaking of the trading deadline, why not move it back to August 15th and eliminate the waiver deal. That way, if the Indians fade in the next two weeks, they would move to being a seller. Right now, we are deluded into thinking we can get a wild card and will keep Millwood and Wickman. Why? I have no idea. I still see Coco and Millwood going to the Yankees. One more thing, if the Reds do not make a deal today, fire the GM right now. It looks like Manny stays.

Visitor

None, it's a rare Sunday off for NASCAR.

Got home around 10:00 last night and stumbled upon the Fox Movie Channel, which I never watch. So what are they showing? Unbelievably, "French Connection" and "French Connection II", back-to-back!!! Are you kidding me? One of the best movies ever with easily one of the top five sequels ever made. Gene Hackman as Popeye Doyle...no one else could play the part. The first is a masterpiece in filmmaking. I'm talking handheld shots, documentary look and feel, long stretches with no dialogue. In other words, it would not be made today. And, Popeye in the second one, going through withdrawal, talking about, who else, Mickey Mantle? He's talking to the French inspector, who has no clue what he means, and says, "I had a tryout with the Yankees. They had a fast shortstop. He was fuckin' fast. His name was Mantle. Mickey Mantle. Have you heard of him? The next day I signed up for the police test."

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How did this get by me? Thea Andrews returns to TV on "ESPN Hollywood". OK, she's teamed up with Mario Lopez (ugh) and this show has failure written all over it. One year and out. Tops.

Have you seen the Eagles Cheerleader calendar yet? In my best Roy Orbison: "Mercy."

Bill Frist joins the good guys and supports stem cell research. Hopefully, not just another Republican co-opting a Democratic issue.

Exercise Yard

ESPN takes a look at 40 current players who should make the Hall of Fame. Always a good topic for argumentative types. Hard to call Prior, Oswalt, Cabrera and Pujols because of their age. Iffy choices: Smoltz, Kent, Trevor Hoffman, Vizquel (the Ozzie Newsome of MLB) and some others.

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35 Across: "Mission: Impossible II" director (7 letters) Answer: John Woo

Yep, there's the Bride of Frankenstein. But if we are gonna be on "Dancing With The Stars", after reading her blog, I am gonna need a Kevlar tux.

Whenever you see a pedestrian walking on the highway, do you wonder what kind of a story prompts that behavior? I'm not talkin' about a broken down vehicle and walking to get some gas. I'm talkin' about someone deciding to take a stroll on the edge of the interstate. Shortcut? Mind clearer? Drug-addled? I find it fascinating.

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A handwritten lyric by Lennon of "All You Need Is Love" sold for just over a mil. Cue the Rutles.

Why does the mere thought of Yakov Smirnoff put me in hysterics? I don't think it's the guy, it's the stupid concept. "In Russia, party finds you."

If you don't shuffle your iPod, you'll suffer "musical hallucinations". I just fall asleep to get my hallucinations.

Exercise Yard

The ol' ballcoach is back in the SEC.

Visitor

9 Across: Strikeout king Nolan (4 letters) Answer: Ryan

Last night. I babysat. Adults. In a bar. Pizza. Beer. On the house. I'm Uncle Buck.

In the latest episode of "Rockstar:INXS", the boys in our band, INXS, were pretty critical of "the rockers". Some might say, "Finally!" By far, it was the most uneven of all the episodes, as I bet half the songs were flawed.

I admit I'm myopic when it comes to my fave, the sultry Daphna Dove. What can I say. She makes my boy parts move and I'd like to commit an intermezzo with her. Having said that, her version of "Rock The Casbah" was shit. And her tribute to "Bride of Frankenstein" was odd. She wore something that resembled...a tent? Not flattering. And with black gloves to boot. She's (cue Paris) hot and needs to flaunt it. It's rock and roll, baby. One of the Farris brothers told her, "You really murdered that song." Ouch. The thing that may save her is there were others that were equally sucky and there might be more hatred for some others. Tara and J.D. come to mind.

What have we learned, thus far?

This show could air easily only once or twice a week.

The band member that is the most serious is the ever-skeptical Garry Gary Beers. No question, he is the voice of reason when it comes to band matters.

I'm not sure what "pitchy" means.

Too much love by the contestants early on. I think it's getting more cutthroat.

The audience and our band, INXS, have done a great job at weeding out the dregs.

I envision a tour that will have some/most/all of the losers singing one song with the House Band as the opening act for INXS and their new singer. Probably not in venues like the Gund, but more like the Bart. Regardless, I'll go.

The leaders in the clubhouse: Ty for the men, Jordis for the ladies.

After watching tonight's episode (what the hell time does this come on anyhow, I am so confused), our band, INXS, pulled a Mark Burnett special by offing two contestants, instead of the usual one. One of which was...Daphna! Crap. Hey, baby, I'll give you what you need.

"Don't cry for me, Dave Navarro."

Meal of Links

What's up with NASA? Well, it ain't the future of the shuttle program. Maybe they announced it while one was up there for rating purposes.

The world has ended. Segways overtaking golf carts.

Are people that upset with "Dancing With The Stars"? Daphna and I will be performing Groucho Marx moves on next year's show.

Exercise Yard

Larry Brown joins the Knicks as head coach. Wow, if he turns that bunch around, he's an even greater coach than I thought. Let's see how he handles Marbury.

Visitor

69 Across: Singing cowboy Tex (6 letters) Answer: Ritter

I like to limit the amount of Reality TV that I watch. But I am becoming convinced that I need to start watching "Being Bobby Brown". Over the last several days I have had so many people say, "I watch it and I love it.", that it's difficult to ignore.

And I just found out "Cheaters" is still on Sunday nights on Channel 43. That is bad TV. So bad that it's good.

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Mr. Blue died today. Edward Bunker was one of the more interesting folks on the planet. Saw him most recently in "The Longest Yard" and he looked awful.

Mario Batali says he has a NASCAR cookbook in the works. I'd like to see him and Ward Burton cook up a possum stew.

John Densmore wins his suit against "The Faux Doors". Creedence Clearwater Revisited, take note.

Exercise Yard

Andre Agassi leaves Nike for Adidas. I always thought Nike was like "The Firm". Of course, this would have been a much bigger story years ago. Apparently Adidas is financing the Agassi Retirement Fund.

Visitor

26 Down: Country singer McGraw (3 letters) Answer: Tim

We safely returned from the soon-to-not-be annual family reunion. Yes, most every July we head to beautiful Pennsylvania to mainly eat and chat, because we're old now. I volunteered to drive my Dad and brother, somewhat because we don't do much as a family unit, but mostly because I get to leave when I want to if we do it that way. Of course, these drives deteriorate into silliness for a couple of hours each way, and you can't have enough of that.

On the way down, we observed the "No Peeing Until Pennsylvania" rule, because I passed the last one in Ohio without even thinking. We found out later that the other two cars from Cleveland also observed this rule.

Highlights on the way down included an aborted sing-along of "Los Angeles" by X, with appropriate head-banging. My Dad did not want to participate for some reason. Sheesh, like he doesn't know the words. Not even on the "Get out" part. Then there was the inevitable backseat driving incident when said driver is in complete control of the situation, albeit at a high rate of speed, while someone checking the newspaper looks up and immediately sees a potential crash. Sorry, not on my watch.

We pull in and it's a beautiful day, nary a cloud in the sky. Not too hot, just right. Part of the deal for this thing is you have to bring food. My Dad made some cinnamon cookies. My brother made a Snickers dessert that has Snickers, apples and other stuff in it and it was a fine effort. Whereas others were making beelines to their local bakeries and grocery stores, I made the world-famous "Jim's Friggin' Ritz Bites". They were known as "Savory Ritz Bites" until one of the older folks called it that. It was determined with her language, she would fit in at Alesci's. Anyhow, how did the "Bites" go over? Oh, testimonial upon testimonial are just pouring in. What's that you say..."I'm going to serve these to the ladies who come over and play cards." "Wow, what's that recipe again?" "...hit of the party..." Never doubt the power of the Ritz Bit.

Unfortunately, we had less than 25 people show up. That means major inter-family brownie points for those who attended. Alas, the second and third-generation folks just don't have the interest like they used to. People die, people move and some people don't care. So, a plan was proffered to have it every other year and to be frank, I'm not sure it's gonna work. They are doing an RSVP with payment due early, thinking that might give some pause if they want to cancel. Hey, I've blown off events that cost more than this, so that's not a large issue. It's also held in a park where there is no alcohol allowed, so I'm not sure if that's an issue, because I drink on the way. They also said if you wanna have friends come down, bring 'em along. Hey, my family's gotta a lot entertainers in it, but I don't see that happening either. My sense is it's a lot easier to blow off an event held every two years, instead of an annual one. So, it's a perplexing issue we'll have to deal with. The lure of the Ritz Bit may not be strong enough to spike attendance.

I actually liked the smaller crowd. It's more intimate that way and it's easier to hear my jokes. Someone asked, "Now how close do all of you live in the Cleveland area?" I said, "As far away as possible." That was Shelby Lynne's drummer with the rim shot.

We left around 5:40. Highlights on the way back included said driver stopping for gas in Y-town at an exit that did not have an appropriate entrance going westbound. Somehow, I made it to 422 without asking for directions and reconnected to the highway. And in a "you had to be there" moment, we heard an awful song by some band named Renaissance. And I asked when did Streisand do rock? My brother than recounted a scene from "On a Clear Day, You Can See Forever" which had us both in hysterics, while my Dad was moved to say, "You're both nuts." This from a man who was having phone problems, then decided to call everyone he knew to ask if they had called him.

All in all, a most enjoyable day, but I have no idea what I will be doing the third Saturday in July 2007.

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A little bit of publicity for our friend, Les, the "Beer Guy". A nice guy who really knows how to vend.

Scotland Yard admits they made an error and shot the wrong guy. An oops of major proportions. And for the "wrong place at wrong time" theory, uh, the guy was on his way to work. That doesn't constitute wrong place to me. Oh, it'll get ugly before this is put to rest.

Nothing like little kids cussing. Of course, there is a message.

Exercise Yard

Lance drinks and rides...again.









A great chat with Eddie Merckx, who ruled cycling (and probably still does) when I was a kid. Lots of stuff about Lance, who won his 7th Tour in a row.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

I think I've recovered from the Shelby Lynne concert at the House of Blues last night. For the record, I thought it was OK. Shelby's problem is with her never-ending quest to not be labelled, she is all over the map with her song selection and it tends to interrupt the flow of the show. You'll have a torch song here, then a rocker, then a Texas swing song, then a country song and so on. And apparently on and on for some of us. I believe the quote from Best Friend was it was "horrible". Thoughts of leaving, etc. I think she and Best Friend Spouse were suffering from a bit of "full fare grudge" and were far from impressed, but cousin and I were able to sneak in on the wonderful 2-for-1 offer that HOB offers. And Shelby licked her arm at one point, which was a turnoff...for some. Anyhow, let's set the stage.

When we arrived, the opening act, some blind guy, was just finishing. That wasn't his name, but he was blind. During the intermission, we were able to grab some stools and sit on the edge of the main floor. Screen goes up and she comes out with Napoleon Dynamite on guitar and slide, and James Spader on bass, the drummer...I got nothing. (BTW, I think I'm gonna learn the slide guitar, because I can sit down while playing. I wonder if I could do some windmills like Pete while sitting.) During the first two songs, Shelby is clearly looking at me for at least half the time, I am not kidding. Over the course of the evening, I am conservatively estimating and I have witnesses, that at least 23% of the time, she was singing to me. However, I notice a disturbing trend as the evening progresses. On the happy tunes, I'm ignored. But on the "sad songs", the "love gone bad" songs, the "I hate men" songs, I'm the target. I believe the clincher was some lyric about "Passion being stomped into the ground by your feet" or some such nonsense and I'm gettin' the stink eye. Can you imagine that? Me! Or maybe Shelby's blind like Best Friend and can't really see that far which would ruin the recap, because it's all about me, right? Many beers may have clouded my vision as well, but that's my story and dammit, I'm stickin' to it.

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After the concert, I realize (once again) I haven't eaten a morsel all night. Well, let's see what's open. Hah, McDonald's, and it doesn't look crowded...from the street, that is. But the line is wrapped around the building, so I have essentially done a 360 to get back on the road. With thoughts of Steak and Shake running through my mind, I realize I have two pieces of pizza in the fridge. Mmmmm....pizza. What a life. Feeling no pain, sitting in your Mike's Madness t-shirt and boxers watching "INXS: Rockstar" on your DVR, while chowin' on some pizza at 12:30. And my favorite, Daphna Dove, survived another week. Can I get a "hubba"? Thrice?

I don't think I've caved on the Roberts nomination to the Supreme Court. The guy doesn't have much of a paper trail and it's the D's in the Senate who look like they are gonna roll over. I think they are gearing up for a battle on the next nominee, as Roberts is the compromise choice. Let's wait for the questioning and see if we can find some fatal flaws.

Paul Anka has a new album. It's my life, baby.

Exercise Yard

After "INXS: Rockstar", I'm still somewhat awake, so I watch the "Mantle" documentary on HBO. Mickey Mantle, you see, was my Mom's favorite player. I think she liked his "boyish charm". Anyhow, one of the first baseball arguments I had with my Mom was about Mantle's speed. She claimed he could get down the line in 3.1 seconds from the lefthanded batter's box. I'm doing my grade school math at the time, figuring 30 yards in 3.1 seconds, that means he could run the 100-yard dash pretty fast. And his name wasn't Bob Hayes. So, I'm telling my Mom she's nuts, it's impossible to run that fast to first. And, of course, over time, I came to the realization the guy was fast. So, the first few minutes of this program is basically everyone concurring with my Mom about how fast he was. Anyhow, it's a nice tribute and a real tearjerker at the end.

BTW, Kramer punches Mickey's lights out on "Seinfeld" tonight.

Visitor

56 Down: "The Simpsons" cartoonist Groening (4 letters) Answer: Matt

Today's reckless driving incident occurred on West 25th between Denison and 71-North right in front of me. Clown was very upset with the guy in front of him while going southbound. So said idiot decides to pass in the northbound lane into oncoming traffic. I thought for sure he was gonna get hit, but he didn't. After passing, he then bolts into the Wendy's through the exit, goes around the building, then heads back to 25th via a side street to make a left turn and end up BEHIND the guy he just passed. Yeah, I let this guy go well ahead of me. He eventually turned onto Broadview while cutting some more people off.

BTW, the Soap Opera Laundry on 25th now has free drys and the custom-built accordion place looks like it's still in business. I wonder if I could play the accordion while lying in my new hamaca.

Meal of Links

Tomorrow is "Ride to Work Day". So, hop on your motorcycle and ride to work and then go down to Valley View afterward. (Thanks, Drew.)

If you're bored, take a gander at the SI Swimsuit Collection. BTW, I saw Elle Macpherson in the new "Vanity Fair" and she's still got it. My my my.

John Roberts is the choice to replace Sandra Day O'Connor on the Supreme Court. Seems like the tougher nominations will come later. I think he's confirmed.

Exercise Yard

The Indians traded Jody Gerut to the Cubs for Jason Dubois. Gerut is no Hall-of-Famer, but he is a good defender and his selectivity at the plate is much better, as his BB/SO ratio is the highest of his career. Unfortunately, his bat seems to have lost some pop. If it were me, I probably would have given Gerut til the end of this year before making that decision, because of his injuries. Dubois is a butcher in the field, which makes him the right-handed DH now. I'd be surprised if we would trust him with a glove. We'll hear about his potential from the front office though. It just seems to me, if he was that good at age 26, he would have made it by now. This smacks of Karim Garcia/Ryan Ludwick/(fill in your favorite over-hyped castoff from other organizations here).

Visitor

40 Across: Rocker Axl (4 letters) Answer: Rose

I laugh every time I get on I-71 North at Fulton. There is a house selling "hamacas". I like hammocks. I don't own a hammock. But I wonder about the folks driving around saying, "Hamacas? What a great idea! Marge, pull over."

You cannot help but get emotional as the House completed the roll call of the fallen soldiers in Iraq this evening. This was the third and final roll over the last two weeks. With Iraq now in the middle of a Civil War (yeah, it's that bad), the number of coalition dead is now 1768 US, 93 UK, and 101 other. That's 1962 people no longer with us and for what?

They closed with the FDR quote that gets me every time I hear it:

"They stand in the unbroken line of patriots who have dared to die that freedom might live, and grow, and increase its blessings. Freedom lives, and through it, they live - in a way that humbles the undertakings of most men and women."

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The National Truck Driving Championships roar into Tampa next month. I don't see my favorite category, "Turn Signal On, Automatic Entry Into Your Lane" listed.

Our President says, "I didn't say I would fire a leaker. I said I would fire someone who committed a crime." What's next, it depends on if the crime is a felony or a misdemeanor?

Jude Law boinked his nanny. Forgive me for not caring.

Exercise Yard

Larry Brown leaves the Pistons. I love the guy, but he is the most angst-ridden coach I've ever seen. Fairly obvious that he'll eventually go to New York. That situation stinks, but Brown is a fantastic coach and maybe he can make something happen there. My initial thought is it'll be the demise of both him and Isiah Thomas.

Visitor

11 Down: First Tarzan portrayer (11 letters) Answer: Elmo Lincoln

What have we seen or heard lately? Tiger Woods won the British Open. (Where's Phil?) But the Nike commercial with Tiger as a kid is really cute. Speaking of golf, Lance's caddy, George Hincapie, won today's stage at the Tour.

Lee Iacocca is in a new ad for Chrysler. Will kids rush out and buy cars because Lee is on the ads? Apparently Chrysler ignores demographics and is going for really old old-timers. Hell, I buy Olivio and I hadn't seen Iacocca in years.

The same night I saw that ad for Chrysler, I saw Cheryl Ladd telling women to call your doctor about "women stuff". That's not the scary part. Her obvious surgery makes her look like Jaclyn Smith. I'm not kidding, she must have talked to her doctor saying, "I want to look like her."

New Music: I am really getting into The Transplants currently. Omigod, they are at Tower City on Thursday. Whoops, that's the Warped Tour and I don't have Thursday off.

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It's catch up time. For those who have not seen much of "Arrested Development", Fox has a marathon on a couple of upcoming Fridays. Consider this an excellent opportunity to get up to speed.

Crap. Sandra Bullock got married.

Governors are meeting in Iowa this weekend. That means that Election 2008 is already starting.

Exercise Yard

I'm curious to see the Hopkins-Taylor fight. Taylor has had the hype for a while and one would think that at his age, Hopkins is done. Been a changing of the guard in boxing lately, as big names, including Tyson, Tszyu and now Hopkins may be history.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

While getting a haircut today, the discussion turned to heaven and would you want to be around when the horns start blowing. With my luck, I'd hear the horns, but miss where I was supposed to go, because the guy in front of me can't get his wallet out of his pants. I guess if you were living at the time of the second coming, you probably would have survived a lot in your day. But I tend to believe that heaven is something we cannot comprehend. I mean do you think you will look like yourself, and at what age? Will others recognize you? How's the bourbon stock? Are your pets there? I'm sure those things aren't important if you make it, but it would be kinda cool to get a glimpse before it happens. Assuming we're on the Up elevator.

A story that would have been fascinating if seen through to the end was the BALCO case. With the plea deals, we are left with having a good idea what happened, but not the whole story.

Meal of Links

While we are watching reality TV in the States (self included), it seems our Pakistani friends may be selling nuclear technology to our Saudi friends. Perhaps an "oil for nukes" deal. OK, America, roll over and go back to sleep.









The Parents Television Council heard naughty words on Live 8. Yes, the Who's "CSI Song" on ABC wasn't censored. Laughably, I might add. I mean, how could the button guy not know? Others heard to be swearing around the world, oddly enough, included Snoop Dogg and Madonna.

Is the video iPod becoming closer to reality? Cringely explains. Gots to gets me one when it happens.

Exercise Yard











If you are gonna watch one stage of the Tour de France, tomorrow is probably the day. Big hills. Nutbags lining the path. Lance. It's in the game.

Visitor

40 Down: "WKRP in Cincinnati" news director Les _______ (7 letters) Answer: Nessman

It's Bastille Day. Even Google ignores it these days. How can you not think of Rush today? Or perhaps, some freedom fries with dinner.

"For they marched up to Bastille Day la guillotine -- claimed
Her bloody prize hear the echoes of the centuries power isn’t
All that money buys"

Or something like that.

And, of course, a Frenchie won the Tour today.

Meal of Links

You have to see "Punk: Attitude" on IFC. A loving look at punk. All the faves are in there. Only drawback is I wish it was longer.

Rehnquist says, "Hey, it's a lifetime appointment and I'm still breathing." Haltingly, but still breathing.

Should soft drinks carry warning labels? Maybe, maybe not. But there's no question, Americans are suckin' 'em down in record numbers.

Exercise Yard

I guess Lou Holtz cheats everywhere. But we'll love him on ESPN this year.

Visitor

7 Down: '60s eloquent equine (4 letters) Answer: Mr. Ed (Wi-i-il-bur)

OK, I lied. The lure of Brooke Burke was calling me, like a Siren. Monday night, I bit the bullet, and pressed "Record All Episodes" on the DVR for "Rock Star: INXS". As in Texas Hold 'Em...I'm all in.

Did I mention the weird guy in front of me at Walgreen's the other day? I'm not sure what this drunk bought, but it was $2.59. After hearing $2.59, he said, "At that price, do I get a beer with that?" I think he then mumbled that he had one with him. Well, it was time to pay, and his wallet was stuck in his rear pocket. I mean really stuck. It took him, no lie, two minutes to remove it. Now I'm behind him and there is no way I'm gonna assist him. But he had to do the gyrations of looking behind him and trying to contort (I think the word akimbo might be appropriate here), so it would come free. Meanwhile, the line is out to Altoona. Finally, he extricates the wallet and tells the kid after hearing $2.59 again, "Do you want my blood, at that kinda price?". Not sure what he bought, but it was $2.59 and he obviously didn't like that number.

Meal of Links

Looks like they found Mastodon bones in Cali. Where's Bigfoot?

What a shock. Drivers on cellphones more likely to have an accident. I swear my cuss rate would be a lot lower if people would just pay attention while on the phone and trying to drive. I see too many leaners, too many who slow down, weavers. Name a traffic miscue and most times when you pass, it's because someone is on a phone. Epidemic stage.

As if we don't hate Tim McCarver enough. And he really has dragged Joe Buck down to his level, hasn't he? Well, the goofballs participated in an ad for Chevy during the All-Star Game. Fox, the same network that allowed Fallon and Barrymore ON THE FIELD after last year's World Series. MLB is shameless.

Exercise Yard

It looks like Kobe Bryant begins his comeback in the ad world. Ray Lewis wants his cut.

Visitor

20 Across: Oscar-nominated director--1964, 1968, 1971 and 1975--who didn't win (14 letters) Answer: Stanley Kubrick

It just rained by me. Not enough of a shower to even cover the sidewalk. Time for a major rain dance.

Does anyone read Miss Manners? I normally don't, but my eyes drifted up to her column today and it was a hoot. Old married friend tries to fix up widowed friend. Widowed friend took care of a blind husband for some years before he died. Old married friend thought it would be great to fix her up with another blind guy. I guess because she's good at it or something. Literally sends her on a blind date. Of course, when widowed friend arrives, she goes running off and terminates the friendship. Miss Manners then layeth the smackdown upon old married friend.

Meal of Links

XM and AOL are teaming up for more live music content. Live 8 stuff is being repeated each weekend this month on XM.

Brad Pitt is rushed to the hospital with "flu-like symptoms." Methinks he has the Love Bug.

So, some tiles fell off the Space Shuttle. No effect on the countdown. We are T minus whatever.

Exercise Yard

Stumbled upon the "Fire Joe Morgan" site. Personally, I like Joe, but I haven't watched him much this year. Man, is he making stupid comments lately. So is Tim McCarver. And others. And what about Carlos Beltran's monkey?

Visitor

59 Down: Kristofferson of "Blade" films (4 letters) Answer: Kris

I want to, I mean, I really want to watch "INXS: Rock Star", but sadly, it's just too much of a time investment. I thought it would be an hour a week for maybe 5 or 6 weeks, but this thing has grown to A.I proportions. Three times a week for two months is a little much. Even though Brooke Burke is on, I can't do it.

I did watch the first episode though and I can make some guesses as to who will go far:

Black Mohawk Guy (Ty): The first thing I thought of when I saw him was Corey Glover. So what's his first song? "Cult of Personality". He's in.

Daphna: This chick is Uber Hot!! She'll go far.

Kip Winger Guy (Brandon): He sang a Kiss tune. He's in.

Neal: Good version of "Brown Sugar". He's in.

I cannot see a woman fronting this band, except for Daphna. Terence Trent D'Arby fronted the band for a few performances, so I could see Ty doing it. It's tough, because Hutchence is so closely identified with their tunes, it'll take a special person. I think back to the older stuff like "Don't Change" (awesome video, BTW), "The One Thing" and "Burn For You". Of course, maybe they don't sing those anymore.

Lots of the INXS catalog is available at Rhino.

Hey, CSI Song is on.

Meal of Links

I had to retire a pair of shoes today. I hate doing that because we'd been through a lot, but when the inner sole is tearing apart, it kinda forces your foot...or hand. I opted for some Borns. Very comfy.

The White House press corps absolutely ripped Scott McClellan at today's briefing. Almost felt sorry for the guy, because they piled on. I said almost.

Fantasy Band results are in. The winners? "It's Zeppelin, man."

Exercise Yard

A little late, but here are Peter King's picks for the top five NFL training camps. Pete doesn't pick the Browns, but mentions their food. Again. I once looked for an apple juice that King mentioned in a column. Yes, I am certifiable.

Visitor

19 Across: Explorer Sir Francis (5 letters) Answer: Drake

I turn on the TV this morning just in time to see a guy break his collarbone during the Tour de France. He was kinda in a lotta pain. And when will people realize that if Jim Cantore shows up in your town, get the hell out!

The boys from Lowe's showed up with my new GE Profile washer today. I am very excited. Alas, Lady Kenmore was dragged away. It sort of wasn't what I expected, but it is Delivery Services, right? I was told to expect a call between 8 and 9. That didn't come until 9:53. Very nice guy, but he told me the delivery time was between 3:30 and 6:30. Well, two young guys (age minimum for driving a Lowe's truck? I guess not.) got here just after 4:00, and set everything up and took the old one out. First load already in and I have a signal that tells me when it is done. Welcome to the eighties! Me and GE are gonna get along real well.

Oustide of the daily "PTI", the monthly Bob Costas show on HBO, "CostasNOW" is the best sports show on TV. And that's only after three episodes. The report on Ruffian in the latest episode is a keeper.

Meal of Links

Everything you want to know about Hooker Anchor.

Did you know that Corey Feldman still acts? His "E! True Hollywood Story" was easily in the top 5.

God bless those of us who can cook. I would say I'm decent around the kitchen. At least it saves me from fast food or Stouffer's dinners each evening.

Exercise Yard

An ESPN.com reporter actually talked with Steve Bartman. He stalked him and talked to him. Where's "A Current Affair" on this story?

Visitor

None, it's Delivery Day Sunday.

Random thoughts from my head:

Since Hurricane Dennis passed by the Dry Tortugas, should they change their name to the Wet Tortugas? And why are they dry? And what's a Tortuga?

In a related note, the Tour is riding through the Black Forest today. And it's green! They had a shot of some migrating storks from Africa that was pretty cool. Four Americans (Lance, Julich, Hincapie and Landis) are in the top ten. Lance and George Hincapie are teammates on Discovery Channel's team. Big day tomorrow, as Lance gets major pressure in the mountains.

I heard a replay of Live 8 while driving around town today. Gordon Lightfoot sounded better when he was younger and drunker.

That lady at Burger King keeps asking me if I want ketchup when I order items that would never need ketchup. "I'll have a salad, chili and a small diet Coke." "You want ketchup or salt with that?" "Stop asking me that, freak woman."

I just found out Brooke Burke (grrrrrrrrr) is hosting the INXS reality show, which starts Monday. It may not boost ratings, but it'll boost my boy parts.

The neighborhood rabbit is still hanging around. If I get within five feet of it without stopping or walking slowly and it doesn't move, should I assume someone is feeding it? Or is it dead?

I paid $11.65 for gas today. Not even 5 gallons worth.

Why does Worcestershire Sauce come in such a big bottle? I use it semi-regularly and I think it's the same bottle from 1997.

I started looking through the Podcasts on iTunes. Some are downright awful. Harry Shearer's Le Show, which I used to listen to more frequently, is the first one I subscribed to. I heard one from Hawaii that was really bad. The guy says, "It's gonna be a short show this week. I just got in at 6 a.m. I think you can see a pattern here over the first six weeks. One week, it'll be me and my co-host, the next week, I'll be the only one to show up." It sounded like his name was Beavis.

Larry Hughes was an excellent pickup by the Cavs. He used to do a lot of damage with Arenas in the Wizards backcourt. Not a great shooter, but a good scorer and an excellent defender. Probably a sign-and-trade with Z.

Meal of Links

Well, let's see what's happening in the town with the highest poverty rate in the US. Mmmm, this looks interesting. 8.5 percent of teens, 15 to 19, were infected with both chlamydia and gonorrhea. I call it home.

The new "Harry Potter" book debuts on July 16. I'll say it a thousand times. Whatever gets kids motivated to read, I'm all for it.

The Olympics have dropped baseball and softball for 2012. Clearly, they want the pros for baseball. As for softball...sorry, ladies.

Exercise Yard

Some Cleveland mentions in an article on major leaguers using aliases at hotels on the road.

"No, his name was Gerry Dorsey, and he released songs as Gerry Dorsey, songs such as (mumbles) which didn't work ‘cause nobody could hear what he was saying. And then his managers, obviously, said, "We're going to change your name, Gerry! It's the name that's the problem." And his name changed from Gerry Dorsey to Engelbert Humperdinck. I mean, I just wanted to be in the room when they were working that one through.

"Zingelbert Bembledack! Yingybert Dambleban! Zangelbert Bingledack! Wingelbert Humptyback! Slut Bunwalla!"

"What?!"

"All right, Kringelbert Fishtybuns! Steviebuns Bottrittrundle..."

"No, Gerry Dorsey, I like Gerry Dorsey!"

"No, we can't do it... Who we got? Zingelbert Bembledack, Tringelbert Wangledack, Slut Bunwalla, Klingybun Fistelvase, Dindlebert Zindledack, Gerry Dorsey, Engelbert Humptyback, Zengelbert Bingledack, Engelbert Humperdinck, Vingelbert Wingledanck…"

"No, no, go back one. Go back one. "Engelbert Humperdinck." That's it."

Visitor

21 Across: Star seen around midnight (4 letters) Answer: Leno

Once more, a terror attack, this time in London. Many dead, and a lot more injured. It shows how these things can happen at any time, at any place, without warning. The Bush administration has already cranked up the fear machine, saying we need to be more vigilant. What if it was Bin Laden or a splinter group and the British find him now. What would Bush say about that?

Fear drives the news today. Don't go in the water, because there are sharks. Don't go on an Aruban vacation, because you'll get kidnapped. The height of comedy was the Headline News program, "Showbiz Tonight". They had a report on what plans, if any, the major studios had to the bombings. Of course, nothing changed.

The strangest theory had to be the potential Olympic connection. Can you imagine terrorists even caring about that? The theory falls apart when you realize if they did care, they would have had to have bombings set up in five different cities. Then call off the plans in the other four and direct all attention to London, when it was awarded the 2012 games. Plus you would be conveniently forgetting about G8. Doesn't hold water.

My advice is to say a prayer for the dead, read the lyrics to a song like "Imagine" and try to have fun with life, because you never know.

Meal of Links

Strolling through Giant Eagle the other day, I saw this product. All I could think was bad timing.

Hey, Daryl Hall has Lyme Disease. "Watch out boy, she'll chew you up."

They have a new police chief in Nuevo Laredo. I'm hoping he's renting. "Our last sheriff was a good organizer. Yellow clear through, but a good organizer."

Exercise Yard

The whipping boys of all major league teams.

Visitor

43 Across: Toon chaser ____ E. Coyote (4 letters) Answer: Wile

How much excitement can one human have in one day? Well, first there was work. Then it got better. I had to go for my Stress/Echo test at the Cleveland Clinic this afternoon. Why is that, you ask? About a month ago, I was in the middle of a Pierre's Ice Cream Sandwich and my heart started racing, like it never had before. Much above the norm. First I checked to see if I had inadvertently picked up a Peppermint Pattie, but no, it was Pierre's. So, I sat there for a while. Then I got a glass of water. Then I started to try and memorize that 9-1-1 number. Then I tried to figure out if I was dressed appropriately for a 9-1-1 visit. All during that time, maybe 3-4 minutes, until it slowed down. I had to tell my doctor who had a look of "I ain't gettin' sued." and ordered the test.

I go in there today and it looks like preliminarily everything was OK. I must be behind on bills, so they are giving me more time to pay. But to have me hooked up electronically, they shaved me. I happen to like my chest hair and they shaved part of it away. How'd you like to do that for a living? But it does give one an opportunity to rekindle old fetishes by shaving expletives onto one's chest. I am now sporting a Kanye West "F'er M'er". But I closed with a pitiful performance on the treadmill, one in which I think they actually had to make a call to GE to verify the results. Anyhow, things appear to be fine, unless there is further review, a la the NFL. And they also have deodorant on your way out.

After that, I went and purchased a washer at Lowe's. They are begging you to buy appliances there. Until the 13th, you get free delivery and haul away, six months interest free, and 10% off your first purchase with their credit card. So, I got me one of them there bottom-of-the-line, top-of-the-line GE Profiles, with all the fancy controls on it. And they deliver on Sundays. I may have to miss Mass, but I'm lovin' Lowe's right now.

Meal of Links

"This is your dog. This is your dog on drugs."

Judith Miller goes to jail. I am shocked by this whole thing and it seems to be lost among all the missing people, sharks, and hurricane stories.

Steven Spielberg's next movie is on the Munich Olympic Massacre and the ensuing Israeli raid. I think that sounds really cool. I'm there.

Exercise Yard

Lance has that Jim-on-a-treadmill face going on. Bracelet?












It was only a matter of time before I mentioned...Lance! He's up by 55 seconds.

Visitor

41 Across: "Grand Hotel" star (5 letters) Answer: Garbo

I could not believe that my washing machine, which I had been extolling the durability of a short while ago, finally gave out on me yesterday. One of those unplanned things that creep up from time to time. Of course, it never happens at an appropriate time, but I was heading to the Indians afternoon game and had to leave the water in it.

Thought I would bail it out when I got home, but had too much fun and didn't feel like tackling that chore late. It's an old machine and I'm not going to have it repaired, when I can apply that cost to a new one.

Meal of Links

Bono gets his pants back. Landmark decision.

Here are the top ten images from Deep Impact. It blowed up real good.

Now that O'Connor has retired, everyone wants Rehnquist to step down or die. That means it'll be a true battle royal.

Exercise Yard

Hank Stram died yesterday. But the memory of 65 Toss Power Trap lives on.

Visitor

6 Down: Wrestler Hogan (4 letters) Answer: Hulk

I was able to zip through MTV's coverage of Live 8. On the air for 8 hours, was there even three hours of music? They need to remove the "M" from their name. And what is up with British directors? They cut away within 10 seconds of every shot and it makes you nauseated. When you have to rely on AOL (yes, I said AOL) or XM, truly a new age in media is upon us. Especially when you consider I have a VHS tape of "Live Aid" lying around here somewhere. As I said yesterday, MTV had a horrible production and matched it with not much effort, but here's what they did show.

U2 and McCartney doing "Sgt. Pepper". The horn section is dressed as The Lonely Hearts Club Band. Excellent job by all.

The Black Eyed Peas are picked up from Philly with The Marleys. Stephen Marley is killing me with "Get up, shtand up...". And MTV cuts it short.

OK, MTV did show "American Idiot" by Green Day from Berlin. There is something disconcerting about men in black and red wearing armbands getting a crowd of Germans to raise their arms and shout. It is funny.

Christ, they just interviewed Jimmy Fallon. So, we get maybe 15 seconds of Sir Bob with "I Don't Like Mondays".

Hey, it's Bon Jovi with "Livin' On a Prayer". And, of course, MTV cuts it short.

Aha, they actually showed "Bittersweet Symphony" with a shoeless Richard Ashcroft and Coldplay. An awesome version. MTV cut it short.









Destiny's Child is next with "Say My Name". Full version. I have fainted.

Off to Joburg, it's The Mahotella Queens!! I know nothing about them. The ladies appear to be participating in Silly Hat Day. MTV cuts them off within a minute.

Back to Philly. Uh-oh. It's Kanye West. Did he just say "F'er M'er"? Seriously, I am not editing, I think he said "F'er M'er". A day later, I am still not sure what I am witnessing.

It's Audioslave from Berlin in front of a really subdued German crowd. Tom Morrello has "Soul Power" written on his guitar and he can really play. Really good version of "Like a Stone". MTV cuts it short.

Good Charlotte is next from Tokyo. My goodness, it looks like a Cheap Trick concert. MTV cuts it short.

The new Will Smith joint is next. They play the whole song! "Summertime" is cut short.

"Beautiful Day" by U2 is next. I have something in common with this band as I have The Edge's hairline, although we haven't seen it recently. Bono shouts out to all the host cities. They let go a bunch of birds in a nice touch. There they go.

Sir Bob preaching. This is where Madonna sings "Like a Prayer". What's next? Omigod, it's a personal fave, "Ray of Light". She looks stunning in white today and looks better than she did 20 years ago. Some break dancers appear at the end, but I ignore them. This song is easily one of the best of the day. MTV talks over the ending.















Next is Snoop Dogg with "What's My Name?" I love this guy and his Boss Dogg jacket. They bleep him, but the censor is running at a low catch rate. He must be terrified of getting fired right now. The crowd loves it. VJ makes a mistake by saying the "Global Jewbox is plugged in." Bwah-ha-ha-ha.

Dave Matthews from Philly. We get 15 seconds of one song. Then it's a song I don't recognize and MTV cuts it short. They go back to get the last half of "Too Much".

"For All We Know" by Alicia Keys is next. She does a shoutout to Luther Vandross. I never realized how pretty she is. MTV cuts it short.

The Killers, in white, are from London on tape. MTV cuts it short to show...Joss Stone. They have officially spit the bit.

If there is screaming, it must be Linkin Park from Philly. They want audience participation. I oblige: "CRAWLING IN MY SKIN. THESE WOUNDS, THEY WILL NOT HE-AL-L-L-L-L...AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW." Song two is cut short.

More Joss Stone. Just in time to be cut short.

Hey, it's Shakira from Paris. Two words: Nice caboose. Her song is pretty good. Not sure if that was from the Rick Rubin-produced record. I'll see.










Good stuff as Jay-Z joins Linkin Park. I thought he was retired. MTV plays the whole song.

Green Day with a reprise from yesterday, "We Are The Champions".

Keane on tape from London. Good UK band with lots of audience participation. MTV cuts it short.

Orchestra Baobob is next from Joburg. They get 15 seconds. That means only 5 African kids died during their time on MTV.

It's Sting in progress. It's "Driven to Tears". An excellent version. Hey, a shot of Big Ben there. Now it's "Every Breath You Take". MTV cuts it short.

More Bon Jovi. "It's My Life" in which I always think of that ESPN commercial. Isn't Sambora backing Bo Bice on "The Tonight Show" on Wednesday? Whole song, BTW.

Mariah Carey from London. 'Nuff said. MTV cuts it short.

Elton John, relegated to tape, with "Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting". That fat man can still sing. MTV cuts it short. To edit Elton and Mariah Carey on MTV back-to-back seems shocking to me.

Dido gets 50 seconds.

Maroon 5's first song from Philly gets 15 seconds. Song two is cut short. Somehow a snippet of song three makes it on the air.

Velvet Revolver is on tape next and did get the Silly Hat memo. Slash is smoking and Weiland looks weird. Good music though.

Next, it's The Who. OK, MTV, how do you screw this up? For starters, we get 5 seconds of CSI song. The boys crank "Won't Get Fooled Again". Watch it, Roger almost swung his mike into his noggin. Pete's wearing a Harley jacket and is tearin' it up. MTV cuts it short.

On tape, it's REM. Michael Stipe appears to have run out of paint for his Blue Man Group audition.









Rob Thomas is on live from Philly and even MTV doesn't give a shit, because it's Pink Floyd from Hyde Park!! I gave this short shrift yesterday because I was on the phone cracking wise with my brother at the time. But upon further review (several reviews, actually), this was an incredible set. To see Gilmour and Waters together again, well, it's chilling. First song is "Breathe". I bet everything stopped in the UK for the next 20 minutes. Waters looks happy. I think he had admitted lately that he'd been a dick for a long time. Next song is "Money" and MTV doesn't bleep "bullshit". Snoop nods affirmation their way. The director (probably an old-timer) sneaks in a shot of the Battersea Power Station during the song. Ni-i-ice. The crowd is insane at this point. Biggest roar of the day.

Roger Waters (over the intro to "Wish You Were Here") says, "It's actually quite emotional, standing up here with these three guys, after all these years. Standing to be counted with the rest of you. Anyway, we're doing this for everyone who's not here. And particularly, of course, for Syd." What a heartfelt thing to say. They are gonna tour, I can feel it.

After this song, the crowd is beside itself. People are having breakdowns. "Comfortably Numb", a great tune, is last. When Gilmour sings, "A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.", I am now out of MY mind. Is that dry ice or the largest cloud of pot smoke ever? During the next chorus, MTV TALKS OVER IT!!! Without question, the best rock moment, in what, 10 or 15 years, and these fuckups find a way to ruin it. The director, refuses to push the off button for at least 40 seconds, because idiot that he is, even HE realizes what is going on. They still cut it short.

At this point, what else matters?









Oh, yeah. Stevie Wonder finishes in Philly and they talk over him, too. Rob Thomas helps with "Higher Ground". Where's Santana? They cut him off after that song.

Macca finishes in London with "Get Back". George Michael helps out on "Baby You Can Drive My Car" and it's a really good version.

Stevie Wonder does get more snippets, even though he is closing the Philly show.

Realizing there was a concert in Canada, Jet does, on tape, "Are You Gonna Be My Girl?". They cut it short.

What an odd ending on MTV. They virtually ignored Stevie Wonder. The shows ended a bit after 7:00, so they didn't even show the UK close until the closing credits at 8:00. They showed a bunch of highlights, but nothing in the form of what I expected. It's fitting, because the coverage sucked.

Let's hope the DVD, released in November, isn't done in an half-assed manner.

Meal of Links

The Battersea Power Station. And why it has a place in Pink Floyd history.

Robert Hilburn blasts MTV for its Live 8 coverage. There is no excuse for the crappy job they did. Sadly, after the broadcast, I'd bet their on-air folks thought they did a good job.

I think it's out of my system, but here's a backstage view at the London portion of Live 8.

Exercise Yard

If you sense a large cloud of cynicism rolling through the area tomorrow around 1:00, take note. My Dad, brother and I are attending the Tribe game tomorrow afternoon. Dogs are only $1, but I suspect someone will find fault. Look for us on ESPN.

Visitor

None, it's a Sunday of a long weekend.

Yesterday was a great day for being outside and it was a fine summer evening. Our group split up early for dinner. Best Friend and Best Friend Spouse went home to their really good steaks that I bet had nice marbling. Additionally, I'm sure there was a fine marinade, some vegetables, perhaps a fruit item or two. And, of course, cocktails. Well, the rest of us didn't rate an invite (if we had been invited, we would have had to stop for McNuggets on the way. Of course, I didn't push the issue at all.), so we were off to the west side.

After the snub, the remainders went to Giovanna's. And if it's Italian, what am I having? Why, eggplant parmesan, of course. You know, I didn't feel that much like having McNuggets after all, because this meal eat the spot. I have some leftovers and had the final piece of pizza for breakfast this a.m. Tough to eat steak in the morning.

At Giovanna's, we were able to see an umbrella crack from the pressure of the wind at one of the tables. While it didn't impale anybody, it looked like it toppled near some patrons. If it was close to me, I think I would have gone into "Chalkline on Pavement Guy" mode and get a bunch of free dinners for life. Or coffee.

I was out at Trader Joe's and the accompanying Farmer's Market this a.m. The Market had some really neat stuff, but I didn't buy anything. Lucy's Sweet Surrender was there and I think I felt full just walking by their stand. But there seemed to be a plethora of breads and flowers and herbs ("We call it herbs, because it has a fucking "h" in it."). I would go back. But next time, I want to see a tomato.

Meal of Links

Slight change in format today. Am I the only person who is interested in Live 8 today? The largest rock concert in memory. OK, let me get this outta the way...Poverty Sucks. All right, let's ROCK!!!











The best way to listen to the show today was via XM. Each concert had a channel of their own that put MTV's coverage to shame. It is so clear that MTV doesn't cover music anymore by the number of inept hosts they had. Production-wise, they would cut out of songs early, talk over live performances and generally do a shitty job. I fully expected to wake up this morning and have the concerts in Europe already starting. Nope, no TV coverage in the States until Noon. The following is what I got from watching the "highlight show" on ABC, which also included many songs that were cut short. Too many to detail.

It appears there are no Hosts on ABC. Thank you, Lord.

McCartney and U2 open up with "Sgt. Pepper". My initial thought was that I wondered if Macca had ever played this live. Nope, it was a first. Bono rules.

Will Smith opens Philly and reminds us that every three seconds an African child dies as a result of poverty. The "Three Seconds" ad is chilling. Coincidentally, I am eating garlic fries and have to snap my fingers every three seconds to clean them.

Oops, Jimmy Smits is a host and a fine dramatic actor, as well.

It's Tim McGraw from Circus Maximus in Rome with "Live Like You Were Dying". Seems like an odd song for today. Not really a fan, but he has filled the void left by Garth Brooks. I just saw Russell Crowe throw a phone at a gladiator in the background.









Ah, Green Day from Berlin. Now this band gets it. I heard "American Idiot" on XM and they absolutely tore it up. But now they are doing "We Are The Champions". Great version as this band grows on me every year.

Hey, Natalie Portman (with shaved head) is pimping the FINCA organization. Hey hairless, save it for another day.

Coldplay does "In My Place". Ah, Gwynnie with child offstage. The fifteenth shot of them finally pisses me off. They should have chose them doing "Bittersweet Symphony", because the guy from The Verve came out and sang with Coldplay and it kicked ass.
















Back to Philly and Destiny's Child. Who cares about the song because Beyonce is showing leg and I think they go all the way to her ass. She's obviously learned to sing in English since her Oscar appearance.

Smits says we have sent "America's Best" to London in the guise of Mariah Carey. My brother calls to remind me that is just plain wrong. I catch up on typing during this performance.

In my best WCW voice, "Here comes Sting!!" from London. It's "Every Breath You Take". I find it disconcerting that the G8 representatives faces are shown as a video montage during this song. "I'll be watching you."

My guys, The Who, are next. They are doing the CSI song, "Who Are You?" including the f-bombs! Thanks, ABC. Of course, Saab is now using "I'm Free" in their ads. Say, they joined this song in progress. WTF? MTV screwed the boys, too, by cutting them off early. Roger looks a bit aged these days. Pete may have to leap with the aid of a walker, but managed a clean windmill and leap at the end. I cannot accept any criticism of this band. Hell, if Pete smashed that guitar, I'd go to Africa right now and take charge.

















Don (Why do I keep calling him Dom?) Cheadle introduces Linkin Park and Jay-Z. This is a very good collaboration which works much better than one would believe.

U2 is now on with "One". Bono in bullshit spewing mode, but I still love the guy.

Smits introduces Will Smith. Of course, Will takes the opportunity to debut his new joint. The Live 8 Dancers are getting a workout. I'm like those parents who just don't understand.

Oh man, it's Pink Floyd with "Money". Musically, they still have it. However, Dave Gilmour looks like a cross between The Commish and Michael Keaton's dad. They just bleeped "bullshit". They don't move around much, so I see a cash grab tour coming. Best sign though: "Pink Floyd Reunited. Pigs Have Flown."

Sir Bob replays a 20-year old video from the original Live Aid. He introduces a girl from that video who is now a graduate, reminding us of why we are here today. Very powerful scene. Madonna is next with "Like A Prayer" She has still got it. I didn't like the way she hovered around the kid, because that was ego-tripping, but she looks good, so I'll cut her slack.

Richard Gere gets a pop by saying, "I was born in Philadelphia." Great, Richard. It's Stevie Wonder with "Signed, Sealed, Delivered", a true Motown classic. Who is Adam Levine and why is he accompanying Stevie? Did they sneak him by Stevie or what? Having said that, they do a good job.

Annie Lennox does "Why" after being introduced by Brad Pitt. It's the smiling African kid video on the screens which tears everyone up.

It's Cheadle again. He quotes MLK. Somehow works Kanye West into the mix. Kanye steals from Robert Palmer as he has women in black (with black tape over their eyes) playing string instruments behind him. I can't do this justice, but I saw a guy in the audience with mouth agape and that pretty much nailed it.









Portman brings on the Dave Matthews Band. "Too Much" is the selection and it sounds surprisingly fresh. Outstanding job.

At last, it's the All-Star Finale. Historically, these things suck because of everyone's ego. You know, you'll have Patti LaBelle over there hogging the microphone or Charo dancin' around like a fool or something that gets the cameraman's attention and ruins it.

Smits sends us to London. It's McCartney and his band with "The Long and Winding Road" which holds up well. I knew it. The Finale is "Hey Jude". Everyone drags their ass on stage and starts na na na na-ing. See, they let kids near some mikes and, of course, they are louder than the pros. Once again, I am right.

















Sir Bob bids us a good night.

BTW, ABC's coverage showed nothing from Canada (no BNL or Neil Young) and major stars like Elton John, Faith Hill, Bon Jovi and Shakira got no mentions. Should have been a three-hour show.

The next show is "America's Funniest Videos". Yes, it speaks volumes.

Exercise Yard

I picked Magna Graduate to win today's Ohio Derby. Unfortunately, he ran second.

Visitor

1 Down: Annabeth of "Mystic Pizza" (4 letters) Answer: Gish