Back from a bit of a respite. I am still off until mid-week, so I've had days where I've been busy this week, days where I didn't do shit all day, and days that were a little of both. I didn't even go to the Browns game today. For what? It's like exhibition season. Anyhow, here are some movies I've seen during the break.

"Juno" was terrific. I was hooked from the opening title sequence, which is kinda unique, as Juno chugs Sunny D on her way to another pregnancy test. I liked it, because this story is the stuff of the Lifetime Channel or an Afterschool Special, and they didn't take that route. At every turn, it had the potential to go south, but it didn't. I thought it was smart, way funnier than I expected, snappy dialogue and you can't beat the cast. And only an hour-and-a-half, so easy to cram in a busy schedule. Deserves all the accolades it gets. And The Kinks had "Well-Respected Man" on the soundtrack, so that wasn't bad. Oh, there might be squawking about that soundtrack as the Moldy Peaches are featured, but I thought it was harmless. Roger Ebert said this was his Number 1 movie of the year. I'm with him on that.

"Walk Hard:The Dewey Cox Story" was another movie I saw. This one was Friday morning at Crocker Park where the audience was me and another guy. Hey, it gave me the opportunity to get a bagel and grab some hot cocoa at Bruegger's to sneak in. Lemme tell ya, it deserved a bigger audience. This one is what the men in my family refer to as "stupid funny". And that's exactly what it is as they parody a combo of "Walk the Line", "Ray" and rock 'n roll history. John C. Reilly was pretty good in the lead role and I thought Jenna Fischer looked great. Their song, "Let's Duet", was pretty damn funny.

Him: "In my dreams you're blowin' me...kisses."
Her: "That's one of my favorite things to do."
Him: "You and I could go down...in history."
Her: "That's what I'm planning to do with you."

Tim Meadows was his drummer that always had a habit of introducing the latest drug to Dewey. Cameos included Jack White as Elvis, Malcolm in the Middle as Buddy Holly, Jack Black as Macca, I think Paul Rudd as Lennon, Mac Guy as George Harrison and Jason Schwartzmann as Ringo. References included Dylan press conferences, visits to the Maharishi, protest songs (Dewey wanted to help those who suffer injustices: Women and midgets! Hah!), all the way to Lifetime Achievement Awards. Very funny.

Yesterday, it was "Charlie Wilson's War". That means I have seen the butts of Philip Seymour Hoffman and now Tom Hanks in the last month. But I also saw Marisa Tomei naked, did I mention that? This movie was written by Aaron Sorkin and the dialogue was outstanding. Also it was directed by Rachael Nichols' father-in-law. Hoffman again was fascinating, and I can't remember the last time I saw him where he wasn't good. He was a CIA guy and was very convincing in his role and had the majority of the good lines.

Hanks: "Do you drink?"
Hoffman: "Oh, God, yes."

Tom Hanks was top-notch as Charlie Wilson, the Congressman who bankrolled the Afghans against the Soviets. Not a Julia Roberts fan and she was OK in a supporting role, but I think she wanted to be filmed in a bathing suit so that she could say, "I still got it.". I had to mention I saw this one at the Regal at Crocker as well, but it was the coldest temperature I've ever suffered through at a theatre, besides the discount houses. I kept beseeching Tom Hanks to appropriate some cash towards the heat budget. But on the way out, management did the right thing, by giving everyone a free ticket. Now, that's customer service.

Meal of Links

This is cool. One-stop shopping to find out baseball salaries.

Al Qaeda says it wasn't us. And Musharraf says he doesn't need any foreign help in investigating Bhutto's death.

Sacha Baron Cohen bids adieu to Borat and Ali G, and plays Abbie Hoffman. But I see he'll do a Bruno. That will be funny.

Exercise Yard

A pretty good site on basketball X's and O's. With accompanying video.

Visitor

None, it was a Browns wait-and-see Sunday

Boxing Day can only mean one thing. Bloody Marys and EPL soccer! Not one, not two, not three, not four, but five matches today. Doubt if I can last through all of them, but I'll get bits and pieces of most as I decompress from the holiday.

Ah, Christmas! A morning which started in such an odd way, I had to soak it in. You see, when I went to grab the morning paper, there was silence. Total fucking silence.



As in no birds, no traffic, no walkers, no car doors...nothing. It was so awesome, I had to sit on the steps and relish it. Truly incredible and startling at the same time, because that is such a rarity around these parts.

Ah, Christmas! Another year I don't get any books as gifts. I think I'm being taunted by this now. This year, four titles made my list and not one showed up. Santa and I need to have a sitdown or a beatdown, I'd say. But I am appreciative of what I did get, so I cannot complain that much.

Meal of Links

OK, this is freaky! Hey, I saw a guy play this song at CSU on a harmonica, so I know freaky.

More 10th graders smoke more hippy lettuce than cigarettes. Time to regulate?

You don't visit a zoo and think a tiger could kill you. I guess it can happen.

Exercise Yard

Speaking of EPL, Randy Lerner's Other Team was on the early match today and it was terrific to watch. Aston Villa travelled to Chelsea and it was a 4-4 Christmas cracker. Eight goals, three red cards, Frank Lampard injured, the Matt Damon-looking Michael Ballack making his first Cheslsea appearance of the year, and overall a great match.

Villa went up 2-0 and it looked like Lerner's team was a shoo-in for a win. A penalty by Shevchenko got Chelsea back to 2-1 in injury time before the half and put the Villans down to 10 men. He also tied it in the first 5 minutes of the second half. Then he later set up the Brazilian Alex and he made it 3-2 Chelsea. Usually the Brazilians come up with names like Zico, Socrates, or Pele, but Alex? He and Fred must be starting a new wave.

I thought Villa was dead, but Laursen scored off a free kick on a great goal and that tied it. Very seldom does a team score with only 10 men. A red card on Chelsea eventually evened up the sides again. Then Ballack put in a free kick in the 88th minute to put Chelsea back in front, 4-3. With time running out, there was an intentional hand ball called on Chelsea. That red card along with the associated penalty allowed Gareth Barry to tie the match at 4-4 for Aston Villa. That was a roller coaster of a match to start the day.

In the second match, Steven Gerrard saved Liverpool's bacon with a goal in the 89th minute for a 2-1 win over Derby. Well, they call it "Darby" over there, and they are the worst team in the league, so it was quite an effort from them.

Visitor

57 Across: Boo Boo (15 letters) Answer: Yogi Bear's friend

Merry Christmas to all!

Still trying to decipher the Browns effort yesterday.

No question, Derek Anderson was bad. 4 interceptions was his high for the year and we hadn't really seen many of those "Bad Derek" interceptions in bunches. But they were there yesterday.

Some iffy play-calling. After the first Cincinnati TD, Josh Cribbs returned the ball to the 35. Once again, and this was unreported by the TV guys except for a casual mention, the Browns were penalized back to the 20. D'Qwell Jackson took a personal foul and that has somehow escaped scrutiny. Why on earth they decided to throw after that with no timeouts and momentum clearly shifting to the Bengals makes no sense. The resulting interception was a killer.

Defense gave up 155 rushing yards. And almost spit the bit on the Bengals last drive, if not for a fumble.

Even though the Browns moved the ball on their last drive, time management was an issue. Way too many gaps without running a play. At the start of a play at 1:13, Edwards catches a 12-yarder for a first down, the next play is run out of the shotgun at 52 seconds. The next pass to Wright is for 11, and the Browns take a timeout at 45 seconds. That's a lot of time. Then, after hitting Winslow for a first down, there is no spike. The next play is the one where Winslow barely gets out of bounds for no gain. Now 18 seconds remain. Another big waste of time. Then Anderson almost ended the game by RUNNING. He got out of bounds and they put a second back on the clock for a final play, which failed, But that drive was a clock disaster.

The Browns fell in love with short pass. The Bengals had two backup safeties in the game, so I'm not sure why that was the philosophy. Oh, we'll hear that it was the wind, but how could it have been worse than the Buffalo game when they were throwing the ball a ton early.

A major disappointment.

Meal of Links

Ten startups worth watching in '08. A wide range of companies.

Will Smith says Hitler not so bad. At least he didn't mention the train schedule.

The death of Kirsty MacColl is reopened. "Fairytale of New York" is a song you should play this holiday.

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas
"The Christmas Song"/Mel Torme (The Velvet Fog)

I set aside the more familiar Nat King Cole version aside for the guy who wrote the song. Mel, with orchestral backup, sits on a stool and starts by almost talking the lyrics. Of course, the vocal flourishes aren't too far behind. Mel is practically warning us about Christmas with his delivery. Little "Good King Wenceslas" riff by the band at the end. Crowd loves the effort. Favorite Line: "...lots of toys, lots of goodies on his sleigh..." Not for the words, for the gestures.



Exercise Yard

Has anyone noticed the NBA is putting the "plus/minus" stat in the box scores. If Larry Hughes' stat line does not convince everyone he needs to leave, I don't know what does. He was "-23" in only 18 minutes of action, while shooting 1-8 with 1 rebound and no assists. That seems hard to do.

Check out Brian Windhorst's blog about the game. That should tell you all you need to know about the current state of the Cavs.

Visitor

6 Down: Faith of country music (4 letters) Answer: Hill

As I was leaving for the CSU game yesterday afternoon (and I kinda liked the 1:00 start for a change), I get a knock on my door. Two guys were there to install a new electric meter on the house. Why does that make me sense higher bills in my future?

After the game, I went out with S. over to Melt. I love that place and my standard BBQ Chicken Grilled Cheese is really good. And they are continually packing them in over there. A plus is they actually had soccer over football on the big screen. Might have been temporary laziness, shitty bowl game, or a special request, but good to see anyway. Could not get the dessert (because I had many liquids), which was Peanut Butter Cheesecake. Doesn't that sound good? Maybe I gotta run back.

Meal of Links

The British Royal Family has come to YouTube. Seems like an interesting idea.

FHM has the Top 10 Viral Videos. "U.S. Americans" should be happy with the list, as we have the Zombie kid, the Britney sympathizer, Pearl, "Don't Tase Me, Bro", the Hoff, Flea Market Montgomery and "Chocolate Rain".

A nostalgic look at Wrestling's Greatest Stereotypes. Good to see Mr. Fuji in there. "More punishment!" The links to the clips are good, as well. The one where Nikolai Volkoff sings the Russian National Anthem offers some nice commentary by McMahon and The Brain.

On the Eleventh Day of Christmas
"Run Rudolph Run"/The Brian Setzer Orchestra

This is from one of Brian Setzer's Christmas concerts and it's the old Chuck Berry classic. Everyone is dressed in red, but featuring three guys. Stand-up drums, stand-up bass, and stand-up guy. Very rockabilly on that beat. And almost morphs into some surf along the way. Favorite Line: "All I want for Christmas is a rock-and-roll electric guitar."



Exercise Yard

CSU won 86-70 yesterday. They played the mighty Chippewas of Central Michigan. Their coach somehow found a suit that fit the shade of maroon of their road unis. But this game was a foulfest.

At first, it appeared the Vikings were going to get homered at home, as two guys picked up three first-half fouls. It eventually went the other way. With only 6 minutes gone in the second half, there were 10 fouls for Central and only three for CSU. That prompted Central's coach to tell the ref, "All I'm saying is that it's 10 to 3. 10 to 3, man."

Eventually, the fouls started going the other way again for a total of 50 combined. That translates to a long game. But CSU shot over 50% again, which is unusual. They are heating up.

Yesterday's giveaway was a CSU Christmas ornament. Plus, everyone received a card signed by a player, mine was from Breyohn Watson. The one I previously received in the mail from CSU, I have no idea who it was from. It seemed a guy signed it by writing a slash.

Visitor

None, it's a rainy Sunday.

Hey, I have city workers by my house this morning. It's the return of the leaf sucker-upper! You see, about 10 days ago, a house several doors down from me threw their piles of leaves too late for the last go-round. Not sure how it happened, but those leaves made it big-time to my neighbors yard and at the end of my driveway. Then it snowed. I was waiting for a thaw to clean them up and voila! Heavy machinery on my street.

First, the Rock Hall inductions are here every third year and now my leaves are picked up. God bless Mayor Jackson (he says blindly)!

Meal of Links

How can you not feel uplifted today? I was at the Happy Dog for Polka Happy Hour. Still a fan favorite, and I defy you to leave there in a bad mood. And I got to play "Seven Nation Army" on the jukebox. Good times.

Roger Ebert lists his Top 10 movies. And talks about all of his favorites from 2007.

The four-letter continues to raid print media for talent. Not sure where they are all going to fit in, because it's getting crowded.

On the Tenth Day of Christmas
"Merry Christmas From The Family"/Robert Earl Keen

Hard to not like this one. Drinking, smoking, eating, family troubles, watching TV and a Christmas song in the background. Then more drinking, smoking, eating, family troubles, picture taking and a Christmas song in the background. Then more drinking, smoking, eating, family troubles, a power failure and a Christmas song in the background. Toss in a Mexican and a visit to the grocery and you have your Feliz Navidad. Favorite Line: "Carve the turkey, turn the ballgame on. Make Bloody Marys, cause we all want one!"



Exercise Yard

My invoice for the Browns playoffs has arrived. My tickets are doubled to $80 for a Divisional game and go up to $95 for a Championship game. I'll wait and see if the results of the Cincinnati game render that moot.

Visitor

1 Across: Group originally named the Jolly Corks (4 letters) Answer: Elks

Drew and I were out at O's last night and it's the second time this week I've been to a place that had a Christmas party going on. This one was more of a private affair, so we couldn't get at any food. But they had the Po Boy as a special, so that was good. I'm not sure we saved the world this time, but it sure was difficult to remember any Browns who wore number 7. It turns out guys like Terry Luck and Jeff Gossett and Tom Tupa were three of only five who wore that number.

Then, for some unknown reason, we had a little Christmas party at work today. Not sure how what happened. It was to start at 11:00 and, by God, at 11:10 I had a beer in my hand. Then vodka. Make that several of the vodkas. Oh, we had pizza, salad and wings, and peppermint Jo-Jo's from TJ's. God bless us, one and all. New Year's resolution: Smoking and drinking at your desk. I left about 2:00, seeking other adventures.

Meal of Links

You CAN read this in dim light. Take that, motherhood!

Christmas marathons! Don't forget TV Land's Merrython. And don't forget to TiVo "Happy Days" very early on Christmas Eve. Shame on WGN for putting these shows on at 4:00 a.m.

Spinner has a list of the Best Songs of 2007. Except this includes people you've heard of. Including Porter Wagoner!

On the Ninth Day of Christmas
"Do They Know It's Christmas?"/Band Aid

The classic song. Not much to be said, except everyone looks so young. Hey, there's Bananarama! It's Human League guy! You get the picture. Favorite Line: "Thank God, it's them, instead of you!"



Exercise Yard

The Cubs owner wants to sell naming rights to Wrigley Field. Jacobs Field looks on with interest.

Visitor

25 Across: Big name in hair care (7 letters) Answer: Alberto

On the Eighth Day of Christmas
"Jingle Bell Rock"/Billy Idol

After yesterday's disaster, can Billy Idol, his new face and one-man band save this song? You decide.

I had a scheduled day off which would have been perfect, except I had to wait for the FedEx guy. How come they take less heat than the cable guy? I think it's because you get to track your packages online, but still have no idea when the guy will show up. On Tuesday, I left work early because I knew I had two deliveries coming. The FedEx Ground guy called me and I scheduled that for 1:00. So, leaving at Noon, I thought I'd get them both. Nope. The regular FedEx guy came at Noon and when I went out to the facility after 5:30, the driver still had not shown up when I left 15 minutes later. Oh, online I could see it made it back at 6:15, but I had a game to go to. Hence, I had to wait for him again today. And he showed about 12:20.

Which gave me the opportunity to see my niece in the Christmas pageant at her school. I actually had a good time. I think the K-5 kids all get to participate, while I guess grades 6-8 are already jaded like me, so they just attend. If this doesn't show that Christmas is for the kids, I don't know what does. They concocted some story about Christmas wishes, and it's funny to see how the kids react. Some kids are into performing, some a little too much. Others go through the motions, while others look terrified. It was a great study in seeing who will have major psychological problems later in life.

The highlight for me was the one kid who played Santa. And after his grade sung a song, he shook hands with everyone in the front row. Not exactly my choice of seating,, but my Dad was in charge. So I told the kid "Merry Christmas, Santa!". I wanted to ask him if he got my letter, but I did not want to confuse the issue.

When I got home, I realized I still had some Christmas shopping to do and that with my upcoming schedule, I needed to get moving on some Christmas wrapping. I opted for my wrapping, and then got one gift and am now beyond 8:30. So, it was rather productive today.

Meal of Links

Mark Bittman, whose cookbook I use, has another NYTimes article. This one on 101 appetizers in 20 minutes or less. Admittedly, I don't have a lot of those ingredients on hand, but they look good.

A hodge-podge of artists sing "Winter Wonderland". Christmas song alert: Hall and Oates lurking below.

"Charlie Wilson's War" has lots of truth in it. Trailers look pretty good.

On the Seventh Day of Christmas
"Jingle Bell Rock"/Hall and Oates

Couldn't hold off much longer. It's quite possibly the worst Christmas video ever produced. Can people act any more gay? Absolutely horrid. Strange walking, worse head bobbing, G.E. Smith on guitar, Santa magically appears, as do the revelers that were initially kept outside. No good at all. Favorite Line: "Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time."



Exercise Yard

Curt Schilling opens up on steroids. I think he makes some good points. I also don't believe that fans don't care. When they come to the realization that your team was beat because your guys were clean and lost, or the opponents had the better roids, I can't see how you can't be irked about that.

Visitor

43 Down: Onetime cohort of Cleese, Palin et al (4 letters) Answer: Idle

Strolling through the dial last night, I realized I'm a little bit late to the latest HBO party. But, you must watch Dave Attell's "Captain Sensible". It's probably what you would expect, but I laughed my ass off for almost every joke. I just love his style.

Here's a clip:



Meal of Links

Donald Fagen writes about Ike Turner. Encompasses the good and the bad.

All about IRAs. Roth vs. Traditional, kind of like Original Recipe vs. Extra Crispy. Buffer on call.

Kate Hudson says she realized her marriage needed help after giving birth or something like that. Hey, why bring in that third party in the first place?

On the Sixth Day of Christmas
"Christmas in Hollis"/Run D.M.C.

A song I look forward to every Christmas. And now in it's 20th anniversary year. Santa and his helper are figuring out whose been naughty or nice. We've got Hollis, Queens; Adidas; ill reindeer; good deeds; Santa, Mom; chicken and collard greens; confetti and streamers; and bad gifts for the gang. Favorite Line: "My name's D.M.C. with the mic in my hand, and I'm chillin' and coolin' just like a snowman. So, open your eyes, lend us a ear, we wanna say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!"



Exercise Yard

Last night, it was the McLendon Scholarship Game at Quicken with Ohio State meeting the mighty Cleveland State Vikings. Gale and I were in attendance.

The view:






















Wasn't really much of a game. Ohio State had more height and more speed and the bottom line, they were more athletic and aggressive. CSU was down by only 10 at the half through some sort of miracle, then played an awful three minutes to start half number two. Then it quickly slipped away. CSU loses, 81-63.

The highlight: No question, my Becky Burger with cheese afterward.

The lowlight: Not too much of this, but once was enough. There is an H-I-O beyond this.

















Visitor

23 Across: One of two regular Mad magazine opponents (3 letters) Answer: Spy

While contemplating if Michigan is the new West Virginia, and irked because I could tell the guy behind me at Giant Eagle counted my socially acceptable 16 items in the 15-item express lane (4 cans of chicken broth and 3 oranges. Zip it, pal!)...

I arrived home this evening to find a telephone message. Not any old message, but a sign the apocalypse is near. It was Jim Donovan telling me that not only is my Browns playoff invoice in the mail, but if I hurry, I can go online and purchase my playoff tickets quicker.

Making the chances for a repeat of this, even greater:

















Kevin made it to the Browns-Bills game yesterday and snapped this pic from my seats. I should have snapped a view of the game on my TV from my warm couch.

Meal of Links

Is it the death of deep dish pizza? I'm a thin crust person myself. I don't mind cheese, but not a big fan of extra cheese, cheese oozing out of my crust, cheese in place of other items, cheezy bread or anything else the pizza joint has in the way of cheese.

"Duel" starts tonight. It kinda sucks.

I used to not mind Rachael Ray. But those ads for Dunkin', especially the radio spots, are extremely annoying. And I like Dunkin'. It's my favorite place to hang out when I get my car checked.

Car Guy: "Are you waiting?"
Me: "Naw. I'm goin' to Dunkin'."

There's your commercial.

On the Fifth Day of Christmas
"Mr. Heat Miser"/Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

This is the original video from "The Year Without Santa Claus". But with a much better track by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. I like when Mr. Heat Miser melts that shovel. Way cool! Favorite Line: "I'm Mister Green Christmas, I'm Mister Sun, I'm Mister Heat Blister, I'm Mister Hundred and One."



Exercise Yard

The horoscope says it's a ton eighty week for everyone. That's because the World Darts Championship has begun.

Visitor

44 Across: Upscale retailer ______ Marcus (6 letters) Answer: Neiman

There's no report on today's game, because do you actually think I would go in this weather? Naw, I bailed quite early on this one. I am way beyond bragging about attending games like these. It is much better to be sitting inside with my buddy Gus "Ha, ha" Johnson calling the game on a big TV. Hey, we're in HD today!

And what a game that was, huh? The first half we find Phil Dawson drilling low field goals, the 49-yarder quite the unbelievable one. And we got a safety to screw up everyone's squares and make it 8-0 at the half. Hey, maybe Andra Davis should play every game in the snow. Three tackles for loss in the first half was a big WTF? The Bills seemed like they could run the ball at times, but throwing was a disaster for them. The Browns might have done even better in the passing game if Anderson could develop some touch. His fastballs are even harder to catch in the snow.

Second half. More of the same really. Browns protecting the lead. Doing not much of anything. The Bills cannot develop anything in the air. Hey, what's this? Jacksonville beating Pittsburgh? The Browns could be tied with the Steelers if we win and they lose. And it happens! The Bills got way too close for my comfort on their final drive, but it is a huge win for the Browns.

Unbelievably, the Browns are tied with Pittsburgh for the division lead.

Meal of Links

The finale of "Dexter" is this evening. I will miss Lila and am very curious as to how she will meet her inevitable demise.

Since I was home this morning, I got to see Mitt Romney and Fred Thompson on the morning talkers. I thought Romney came off badly on "Meet The Press" and Thompson barely kept me awake on "Face The Nation". Recaps here.

I can't say who, but I know someone who bought a Wii today. And they didn't stalk UPS.

On the Fourth Day of Christmas
"Marshmallow World"/Dean Martin

Dino is singing this on a beach! Must have been a Dean Martin Malibu Christmas special or something. I think that's Dionne Warwick and Freddy Fender around the fire, which at one point seems louder than his vocals. Dino is hamming it up, and there are very few closeups. Lots of canned laughter, because, well, it is just so-o-o-o damn funny. And to make me mad, fireworks are employed at the end. Favorite Line: "And the sun is red, like a pumpkinhead." Feel free to say punkinhead when you are singing along.



Exercise Yard

Andy Pettitte makes it seem like two days of HGH use is like taking an aspirin. Maybe it is, but he seems very concerned about steroid use, almost as if HGH is so foreign that people would cut him slack if he only copped to taking HGH.

Visitor

None, it's a Winter Wonderland.

I have a bad habit of playing with those little straws you get, when having a mixed drink. You know, chopping at the ice, stirring it around, etc. Oh yes, I am made fun of. Last night, I was celebrating Christmas a little bit too much at Alesci's and ended up with 41 in my drink at one time. Then more were added as I turned away (the old "look over there" tactic) for a total of 75. Can't believe I fell for it.

I am an idiot.

Meal of Links

Check out these trees. Some of them are huge.

Rolling Stone rolls out the Top 100 Songs of 2007. They had "Icky Thump" at 18, puh-leeze. Easily Top 5. Most of the usual suspects are here. And, of course, tons of songs you've never heard.

Ike Turner's current wife asks Tina to finally forgive Ike. Out on a limb here, but I'm gonna guess that will never happen.

On the Third Day of Christmas
"Merry Christmas Baby"/Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band

It's The Boss and the band on the Conan O'Brien show. It's awfully crowded on the stage with both bands in tow. Clarence is standing (how old is this?). Conan (with guitar) is dwarfing Nils on the left side of the stage. Santa has presents for Max and Conan. Favorite line: "Well, Santa come down the chimney, half past three, with lots of nice little presents for my baby and me."



Exercise Yard

What an unusual Christmas gift. A large photomural of Jacobs Field. Where would you put it?

Visitor

38 Down: New York Times critic Janet (6 letters) Answer: Maslin

On the Second Day of Christmas
"I'll Be Home for Christmas"/Mindy Smith

Without question, Mindy Smith had the best Christmas album this year. Except for Raul Malo, maybe. Anyhow, this is from the Opry Live show. Nice a capella beginning. Then the audience finally recognizes the song when the band kicks in. Bald guitarist gets affirmation for his solo. I wish she had "Wonderful Life" on video, but hey, this is one everyone knows. Favorite line: "I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams."

Get out your "cream" and your "clear" and let the lawsuits commence!

The Mitchell Report became public today. I've been waiting for this document for a while. I was ready to be disappointed. Then the leaks started. Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte? Omigod, they hooked the big fish in Clemens and maybe this report will have teeth in it! Then other names got leaked. Are you kidding me? Albert Belle, Jeff Bagwell, Albert Pujols, Jason Varitek, Nomar Garciaparra! Mitchell, you're a genius! This is like Christmas in...well, it's just like Christmas!

Then reality set in. MLB vehemently disputed the original list. And they were right. No Belle, no Bagwell, no Poo-holes, no Varitek, no Nomar. Ugh. It's the same feeling after Colin Powell's address to the U.N. on Iraq. Is that all the evidence they have? It's just a recap of BALCO and Kirk Radomski's case. Crap. Several ex-Indians are breathing easier tonight.

Plus, I am very curious to see the media reaction on Roger Clemens. I think Barry Bonds always had legitimacy in using the race card, regarding the media, for his woes. Oh, no question he did it, but he seemed to be Public Enemy No. 1 and lots of people should have joined him on the post office wall. Clemens is easily as big a star as Bonds and I'm wondering if he'll benefit from a wait-and-see attitude or have his own sympathizers in the press.

After sifting through the "steroids are bad for you" and the section detailing the history of MLB's drug policy, the highlights for me include:

Jose Canseco being banned from the press conference room today. Talk about the most obvious turd in the punchbowl. And Tony LaRussa backpedalling on public comments he made about Canseco.

Did Len Dykstra invent steroid tobacco? No, but he obtained some "real good vitamins".

The Red Sox questioning obtaining Eric Gagne in late 2006. Gee, the Dodgers think he's a steroid guy, should we get him? Naw, it looks like he can't pitch without the stuff. Then they go out and get him anyhow in 2007.

Juan Gonzalez going to Canada with the Tribe in October of 2001. A bag containing syringes, etc., was found by customs. Uh-oh, it's traced back to Juan Gone. He and his entourage all offer plausible denials.

This is a common phrase in the report: "In order to provide (player X) with information about these allegations and to give him an opportunity to respond, I asked him to meet with me. He did not respond to my request."

David Justice naming names until he realizes he has been outed. That ended his cooperation.

Ex-Indians in the report: Jason Grimsley, Chad Allen, David Justice (post-Indians usage), Tim Laker, Mark Carreon, Glenallen Hill, Ron Villone, Kent Mercker, David Bell, John Rocker, Matt Williams, Steve Woodard.

And, of course, Paul Byrd.

Where do we go from here? Well, the report is far from being the definitive document on steroid or HGH use. There probably will be more suspensions of varying length on some of the players. Eventually, more names will come out, given the amount of HGH investigations by the feds. The real sticking point is where did that list of leaked names come from this a.m.? Was that one man's wishlist or an at-one-time MLB-approved list of probable targets?

Meal of Links

I was at Solon Commons last night to see "Before The Devil Knows You're Dead". A Feistian total of 1, 2, 3, 4 in attendance. I arrive right as the movie starts and just as I start to mess with my Icee, Marisa Tomei is onscreen and she's naked! For about the first hour of the movie, each scene she is in, she's naked. The movie stars Philip Seymour Hoffman, Albert Finney and Ethan Hawke. Did I say Marisa Tomei is in this also, and that she's naked? I looked it up. She's a well-preserved 43 years old.

It's the story of a fucked-up family that becomes involved in a fucked-up jewel heist. The plot develops in a nonlinear storyline, and Sidney helps us out by using captions to tell us what day it is. Because the story focuses on the days immediately preceding and following the robbery. Sidney Lumet is the director and it is very good, probably one of his best. It's one to see at the local bijou, but no west side showings yet.

It is revealed what Bill Murray whispers to Scarlett Johansson at the end of "Lost in Translation". I think it has something to do with "2 Girls, 1 Cup". No, not really.

The Christmas parties are starting. Which cocktail is so you. Mine was tequila. I had plenty on my last Momocho visit.

On the First Day of Christmas
"Sometimes You Have to Work on Christmas"/Harvey Danger

Yes, it's time once again for some Christmas videos. Here's a song I recently stumbled onto, from Harvey Danger. I really liked this song and it's a good way to get things moving. A little long but stick with it. Favorite line: "My snow and vodka is melting, the alcohol isn't helping..."



Exercise Yard

After being named in the Mitchell Report, Roger Clemens says, "Not so fast, my friend.". As does Jim Parque.

Also, a handy-dandy Kirk Radomski Steroid Tree.

Visitor

39 Down: Horse of the Century Man (4 letters) Answer: O'War

It seems that the Mitchell Report will come out this week, as MLB now has a copy today. Let's see how quick that leaks out. I'm pretty anxious to find out what's in it, but I think I am probably going to be disappointed because it won't go far enough. I believe it will concentrate on those who are already out of the game, as opposed to a current list of offenders. And how could they not interview Jose Canseco? Must have been regarded as someone who would talk about their methods of interrogation and probably passed on some useful info.

Both ESPN and SI have the pregame lowdown on what to expect.

Meal of Links

Time has jammed a whole bunch of Top 10 lists into one handy gateway. Some interesting stuff resides here.

Chris Elliott writes novels now. I remember "The Conspiracy Guy" used to make me laugh a lot.

From all appearances, Led Zeppelin put on a great show last night. The lure of the dollar may be too intense to resist next year.

Exercise Yard

Omigod. Look who WWE brought back for a Battle Royal on the 15th anniversary of "Raw" last night. Are you kidding me? Howard Finkel introduces:

Al Snow (with Head)
Bart Gunn (Thank God, it's not Mr. Ass.)
Doink the Clown (Oh, no.)
Repo Man (I think he stole a belt once.)
Steve Blackman (The Lethal Weapon!)
Pete Gas (From the Mean Street Posse. Yes!!)
Bob Backlund (Age check, please.)
Skinner (The poor man's Steve Irwin.)
The Goon (Who? Where is The Mountie? I don't care if he's dead.)
I.R.S. (Always liked this guy.)
Flash Funk (Who?)
Gangrel (Huh?)
Scotty 2 Hotty (I absolutely HATED this guy.)
Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart (One of my all-time faves.)
Sgt. Slaughter (Almost as old as Backlund.)
Gillberg!!! (I am now on the floor.)



This has all the Battle Royal goodness you would expect. Well, except it's old farts runnin' around. Well, more like huffin' and puffin'.

Wait a minute, it's the MILLION-DOLLAR MAN!!!!!!! "Fifteen years later, everyone still has a price." That was a fun trip down memory lane.

Visitor

16 Across: "Sesame Street" giggler (4 letters) Answer: Elmo

I finally compiled this year's Christmas CD. Last year was pretty weak as far as new Christmas releases were concerned. Twisted Sister was the best, by far, in 2006. This year proved to be much better, even with Patti Labelle out there. So, here is the 2007 list, a good mix of old and new.

"The Yukon Cornelius Mix"... was there any doubt?

"Santa Claus Is Coming to Town"/The Isley Brothers
"Christmas In July"/Brave Combo
"Sleigh Ride"/Relient k
"Bizarre Christmas Incident"/Ben Folds
"O Holy Night"/Martina McBride
"Sometimes You Have to Work on Christmas (Sometimes)"/Harvey Danger
"White Christmas"/Sister Hazel
"An Old Fashioned Christmas Polka"/Riders In the Sky
"O Little Town of Bethlehem"/Aaron Neville
"It Really Is (A Wonderful Life)"/Mindy Smith
"Jingle Bells"/Yolanda Adams
"Holiday"/Santa Claws and the Naughty But Nice Orchestra
"The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)"/The Chipmunks & Canned Heat
"Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree"/The Smithereens
"Christmas Is the Time"/Darlene Love
"The Last Month of the Year"/The Staple Singers
"Run, Run Rudolph"/Humpers
"All I Want for Christmas Is You"/Vince Vance And The Valiants
"Carol of the Bells"/Shawn Lee's Ping Pong Orchestra
"It's Christmas (Let's Have Sex)"/Duke Tumatoe
"God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"/The Klezmonauts
"Silver Bells"/Jacqui Naylor

Meal of Links

Speaking of Christmas music, here are the all-time worst Christmas songs. These are pretty bad. But I give a pass to Springsteen, The Ramones and Band Aid. And I kinda like "Oi to the World". You gotta take the good with the bad. Any list that has "Christmas in Hollis" at No. 1 is OK by me. Good stuff on this list.

Paul mentions during the Browns game yesterday that Sonic is opening in Stow. Since I work near the Hudson-Stow border, I almost fainted. Sadly, Sonic is not coming to Stow. But they are coming to Streetsboro. We've finally hit the meat jackpot!



"Dexter" is winding down to its season finale next week and this program keeps getting better and better. But, I gotta say, Showtime is revealing way too much in the previews. No doubt, there will be twists and turns like night's episode, but they show some pretty important plot points, albeit without context. Very frustrating. And someone has decided to show scenes from the finale on YouTube. I stumbled upon those last week without realizing they seemed legit.

Exercise Yard

Could it be? A possible bid for EPL rights by the four-letter. No mention of US viewings though. Saturday a.m. seems like a vast wasteland that could use some live sports programming.

Visitor

2 Down: Top-hatted Planters logo Mr. ______ (6 letters) Answer: Peanut

Here is the Magnus bobblehead from the CSU game:

















He's good, he can morph into Higgy:


















Meal of Links

Oooooh...that's good booze! And away we go to find $54,000 to pay for it.

Another phrase you don't wanna hear. A "new strain of Ebola".

Katrina victims live rent-free in Canadaville, with Thistledown's owner putting up the scratch. How does Thistledownville sound?

Exercise Yard

As I mentioned, I watched Hatton-Mayweather online last night. It was a very good showcase for Floyd. I'm not a fan of Hatton and once more, there was way too much holding for my taste. It took a while, but Mayweather was starting to time Hatton's entrees pretty good by the end. He was hitting Hatton before he could get close several times.

Mayweather was way ahead on all the cards and even showed a jab in the 9th. In the 10th, it was all Mayweather as he put hatton down twice to win it. I think Floyd was in trouble one time early, but he looked awfully good in this one.

Visitor

Another dreary Sunday. Why would it be any different? It's late fall.

Trying to watch Hatton-Mayweather, Jr. via the Internets. Lots of singing. I have my choice of Chinese, Romanian or English. I think I'll choose Lamps. But I had to go the Chinese broadcast because of breakup. Well, Mayweather KO'd Hatton in the 10th round.

In the meantime, here are three places I haven't been to in a while:

Last night, I was at Johnny Mango. I usually get a black bean quesadilla as it serves for dinner that day and lunch the next. Still tastes good to me. I know some consider this place hit-or-miss and it probably is for the most part, but it seemed the staff was all new since I was there last. Plus, there was a butt in every chair at 9:30 and that seemed to be a much better crowd since I last made an appearance.

I was at Dave's Mercado the other night. Yes, the Dave's closest to me caters to our Hispanic friends. I don't know what I expected, maybe salsa music or flamenco dancers or something. Anyhow, I walk in and Creedence's "Bad Moon Rising" is playing. So, I turned into a werewolf. But I continued my investigation, just to see what it was about. Fairly extensive Hispanic section with even a Jamaican subsection, if you like jerk seasoning. They sell Snyder's chips (which the Iggle does not), Land O'Lakes cheese at the deli (which the Iggle does not), and they had Land O'Lakes cocoa at 2/$1.00, a price which I'm not sure the Iggle has had in a while. And they had good donuts. My impression is that was a pretty nice place to shop. Now that was Thursday after 8, and I can't speak to a normal crowded day. Yet.

Last, but not least, I went to Mr. Hero and had a Romanburger. I have not been there in at least a decade and made fun of my brother going there only a few weeks ago. For some reason, I had a hankering for it today. Well, it still tastes the same, but you really can't make a habit of that place, so I'll see how it is next time. In 2015. I will add though that with the addition of "Chef Jim", they have added lots of new things to their menu that I'm sure taste OK, but I'll let others decide that.

Meal of Links

Set aside some time for an interview with Mark Mothersbaugh.

53 places to go in 2008. Detroit made the list.

Late Christmas present idea. The Magna Carta.

Exercise Yard

I kidnapped my Dad today and we went to the Cleveland State game to see them battle the Fighting Penguins of Youngstown State and then forced him to go to Mr. Hero for postgame grub. Of course, we were one of the first 1,000 in attendance and received our Magnus bobbleheads. Good grief.

Anyhow, the first half was the best basketball CSU has played in a long time, and they led 44-24 at the break. WTF? In the second half, it seemed they took the foot off the gas pedal, but still shot 70% in that half, resulting in 64% shooting for the game. Again, I say WTF? Hard to quibble with anything tonight. Defense outstanding, rebounds were up, assists were up, shooting was up. Great way to start league play, with a 77-54 win.

Visitor

25 Down: Senate Foreign Relations Committee chair, 2003-07 (5 letters) Answer: Lugar

The heat is being turned up on our President, because he lied about Iran's nuclear capability. It's not yet clear who I am backing for our next President, but let's get someone in charge whose number one goal is not to scare his own people.

This stuff is way out of hand. We don't trust the guy anymore, we haven't believed anything he's said in years and this latest incident proves it. Instead of living out his term and perhaps doing something, anything effective, it's this constant bullshit that just won't stop. It has become the most tired act, even more than "Every kiss begins with K". I've had it.

Meal of Links

Did Morgan Spurlock, the "Super Size Me" guy really find Osama bin Laden? Or is it hype for his new movie? It seems if he did find him, he'd tell someone in charge. But I hear Cheney would not return his calls.

It looks like ESPN has finally got its shit together when it comes to documentaries. Their latest doc will be done by Dan Klores, and it is about civil rights through the eyes of the basketball programs at black universities. Klores has done two of the best docs I've ever seen, "Crazy Love" and "The Emile Griffith Story", so I'll be watching this in March on the four-letter.

And one last doc. Tom Brokaw looks back at 1968 on Sunday. It's on The History Channel. How they can cram all of the great stuff that happened that year into two hours is beyond me.

Exercise Yard

Could it be? Every tear-inducing, gut-wrenching Chris Berman nickname. Yes, Tommy "Ben" Herr made the cut. Well, not every one. I saw him do US Open golf once. He referred to him as Stewart "Kitchen" Cink. My throw-up streak almost ended that day.

Visitor

28 Across: "Hannah and Her Sisters" costar (9 letters) Answer: Mia Farrow

Yeah, this'll stop crime.











Filipino cops are donning Santa hats. I guess the criminals will be easier to catch because when they mock, they'll be laughing really hard, instead of fleeing.

Meal of Links

CBS might start airing reruns of "Dexter", because of the writers strike. They'll really have to cut those up. Literally. And, of course, the protesters are grumbling already.

Borat's driving instructor sues him. Hey, let's wait for every penny to come in before suing.

Christmas 1982. Sears style. Toys and video games start on page 9. Gee, life seemed so much simpler back then. Cue Dick Feagler.

Exercise Yard

The art of the goalie mask. When I was in college, an opponent of ours wore a Gene Simmons mask. That was way cool at the time. Chico Resch explains his mask.

In case you want to be a Jason throwback, here you go. Of course, it's the Gerry Cheevers mask:




















Visitor

46 Down: Country singer Mickey (6 letters) Answer: Gilley

I always try to check out music on Tuesdays and stumbled across a couple of items that interested me.

The "Conquest" video from the White Stripes made me laugh. The Patti Page version of "Conquest" is being blasted in an eBay commercial, the one with the dog race.

The White Stripes-"Conquest"



And I also found out Death Cab For Cutie covers one of my faves from days gone by, "World Shut Your Mouth" by Julian Cope. Check out that mic stand.

Julian Cope-"World Shut Your Mouth"



Meal of Links

Christmas was always commercialized. And a reason to party. Nothing to see here, move along.

Jimmy Kimmel gets suspended without pay. But he's loyal to his staff.

The Top 10 Christmas villains. Good to see Snow Miser and Heat Miser in that number two slot.

Exercise Yard

Is anyone awake at the corner of Ontario and Carnegie? Since our season ended, we now have the Cabrera the Lesser in our own division. Hopefully, the Tribe addresses something in this offseason, because the Tigers are loaded. They improved that lineup in a big way by nabbing Miguel Cabrera. Cabrera at third over Brandon Inge or at first over Sean Casey is an off-the-charts improvement. Pudge now hits ninth. The Tigers are going for it next year.

The main issue I have with the Indians lack of action is the packages that the Twins sent to get Delmon Young and what the Tigers did today, could have been matched by the Indians. Plus, these are legitimate young stars entering the division. Young is 22. Cabrera will turn 25 next season, and is the best right-handed hitter since Manny Ramirez. Dontrelle Willis has thrown a ton of innings and is a Cy Young winner, but is only 25.

That's why when I hear names like Shannon Stewart and others bandied about, I wanna puke.

Visitor

21 Across: Pinky or Peggy (3 letters) Answer: Lee (I chose Pinky and God, that guy scared me.)

Not the most earth-shattering of news items. But MLB is finally forcing its managers to dress better. Quote by Bob Watson: "You can’t wear your nightshirt, or whatever it is." Wedgie, you've been warned!

Meal of Links

Canada can dredge up old, minor crimes and stop you from entering their country. Hard to figure what prompted this report. From the Canadian point of view, it sounds like this has gone on for years, and they couldn't come up with any new stats that point to an increase in people stranded at the border. Sounds like a case of buyer beware, at best.

The decline of the film critic. Fewer of them and they possess a lot less influence.

Siskel and Ebert review an old fave of mine, "The Grifters":



Three day work week? Congress votes, "Aye."

Exercise Yard

Have you noticed how ESPN is getting called out more often on erroneous reports? Les Miles may wind up at Michigan, but it wasn't a particularly good weekend of reporting from the 4-letter.

Visitor

24 Across: "The Raven" poet (3 letters) Answer: Poe

My brother and I had fun last night. First of all, there was hoops at CSU, then off to the Cedar-Lee. First Saturday of the month means "Cult Movie Series" and yesterday it was time for "The Big Lebowski". If you recall, this movie did shit at the box office, but has developed into a cult favorite. So, it was packed. And some people dressed as their favorite character, a few better than others.

I went as Cranky Old Guy. First, there was a line forming to wait to go in, so I did my part and had a Christmas Ale. But every Johnny-come-lately just walks up and doesn't respect the line, especially when the doors open. As John Goodman says in the movie, a line needed to be drawn and after a bunch of WTFs, I decided to move over and go real slow. Oh, I may have stopped two or three, but we just can't roll over, can we?

The two rows behind us were filled with people who were drinking fore and aft and during. And they were talking. Now, I don't mind if folks are there to chat about the movie or yell at the screen, as long as it's somewhat movie-related. Hey, I saw "Snakes On A Plane". But this one guy a couple of rows back would not shut up. After, I don't know, 10 or 15 minutes of his non-movie rap, I finally had it. I turn around and he's leaning forward between two chicks and conversing about some sort of shit. In the spirit of the movie, I said, "Dude, you wanna keep it quiet?". Of course, 10 minutes later I got the old, "Oh, keep quiet over a movie I've seen a 1,000 times." I thought I harnessed my aggression pretty well. Hey, I'll throw down at these things, if I must. Especially if it's dark and they can't follow you to your car.

But it was wonderful to see it on the big screen again.

BTW, the short version of "The Big Lebowski":



And, of course, nobody fucks with the Jesus:



Meal of Links

The 6 Most Important Experiments in the world. Now if I can just get a refrigerator to actually dispense ice cubes in my class, we'd be in business.

We open up the casebook of one Dr. House for medical review. He grades out OK, it seems.

This year's Super Bowl halftime performer...Tom Petty. I hope he plays "Don't Have to Live Like an Amputee".

Exercise Yard

Last night, CSU played the Golden Tornadoes of Geneva College, located in Beaver Falls, PA. They are an NAIA school. They were so thoroughly outmatched, my brother said they played like Golden Showers. I wish CSU would quit playing schools like this. It makes no sense, unless you consider it to be a vigorous workout for your team. Anyhow, CSU killed them, 107-51, in a game that proved nothing. We left with 3:52 remaining and it was 99-51 at that point. We missed not a thing. Same as if we didn't even go at all.

Visitor

None, it's a dreary Browns Sunday.

I had a mild attack of feng shui yesterday and went on a rearranging binge. It gives you the opportunity to sort through stuff you haven't looked at in a while. But I've recovered now. Seemingly, it was temporary.

Meal of Links

I found myself running some errands today by the West Side Market. So, I stopped in for some chili at The Souper Market. Cannot pimp this place enough. It was very good.

The best "Yo Momma" jokes from the urban community. "...her blood type is Ragu." made me chuckle.

John Lydon: Guitar Hero 3 spokesman. A rather lengthy video, many F-bombs, and that shouldn't have been a surprise. But he doesn't really talk about the game all that much. He still supports Arsenal, though. And hates Tottenham.

Exercise Yard

Randy Lerner's Other Team, Aston Villa, got to play Arsenal at Villa Park today. Really good first half, as Villa scored first, but Arsenal is much the better team now and they put in two before halftime. Arsenal remains in first place. The Gunners win, 2-1.

Visitor

20 Across: "CSI" actress Fox (5 letters) Answer: Jorja

Hey, the leaf sucker-upper made it to my street, just as I arrived home this evening. What a great machine. But if you had a car parked in front of your house, they skipped you! Now that would really suck. I was actually kind of lucky, because I seldom have no one parked by me. But it's good to see tax dollars at work. For me.

Meal of Links

We know the crack of the cracker world. I give you the crack of the cookie world.

Max Headroom is back. Well, doing commercials in the UK. I wonder what Amanda Pays looks like these days.

Personalize your own Sharpie.

Exercise Yard

Cleveland has not had this season's two most anticipated NFL games televised locally. First, New England-Indianapolis and tonight's Green Bay-Dallas game. If it's great, the NFL wins. If it sucks, Big Cable wins.

Visitor

23 Down: Moore of "G.I. Jane" (4 letters) Answer: Demi (not Dennis)

For some reason, The Bart has the entrance closest to where I park for the CSU games, Gate C, closed this year. Not bad if it's me, but my Dad doesn't particularly like the cold. The three other gates remain open.

Me: "Is Gate C going to be closed all year?"
Ticket-Taker: "Yes, but the other gates are all open."
Me: "Why?"
Ticket-Taker: "Not enough business."
Me: "?"
Ticket-Taker: "How about a roster for tonight's game?"

Meal of Links

Here is what the Google Intranet looks like. Has some very cool features.

They are doing a movie about Joe Namath. Broadway Joe will be played by Jake Gyllenhaal. I hope they show the part where Namath failed to beat a team with a winning record after Super Bowl III. Well, at least mention it.

Red meat, burgers, pizza, eggs, Canadian bacon...all good for you. Surprised that Carl's Jr. hasn't figured a way to get all of that on a bun.

Exercise Yard

As I mentioned, I took my Dad to see the Cleveland State game tonight. Ah, Cleveland State, the land of acceptance. Where students can where the shirt, "God Thinks You're a Faggot". Seems rather offensive, but I guess he realized if he wore it to a CSU game, not many people would be attending.

The opponent tonight was the Matadors of Jim Rome's favorite college, Cal State-Northridge. Northridge was the third leading scoring team in the country coming in. Hard to believe that in the first half when both teams struggled mightily. Might have been jet lag. If Northridge had a big man in the middle, they would be pretty special. CSU did lead at the half by two.

But Northridge played a decent game in the second half and eventually pulled away for the win. They hit some threes down the stretch to help out. CSU ran into the same roadblock as last year. They just cannot put teams away while leading with less than 10 minutes to play. CSU loses, 78-68.

Visitor

20 Across: "Beetle Bailey" dog (4 letters) Answer: Otto

I am such a stupid. Tonight, I noticed a sign (on only one telephone pole, mind you) that the leaf picker-upper was going to be on my street this week. There were several more homes that threw their leaves to the curb today, so I felt compelled to join them.

After doing that, I realized I locked myself out of the house. I had to go the corner, get change from the store, and use the drug phone to call for assistance. Still only 25 cents!

Meal of Links

The 12 most influential online videos of all time. I have a certain fondness for Zidane's headbutt.

Bam! "Emeril Live" is cancelled. That show helped make the Food Network what it is today.

The guy who invented Gatorade has died. They will throw his ashes over the coach of the BCS champ.

Exercise Yard

A ref resurrects the immortal "Givin' Him the Business" call in last week's Maryland game. Listen to the crowd roar after the call.



Somewhere Ben Dreith smiles proudly.

Visitor

23 Across: LeBron James's team, for short (4 letters) Answer: Cavs

Randomness from today's Browns home game:

Special Guest: Gale was here today. With a blankie. And Gus Johnson is doing the game on CBS. Yes!!! "Jamal Lewis is made of rubber...and steel!". I loves my Gus.

Today's Opponent: Another playoff aspirant, the Houston Texans. The Texans are a team the Browns have played almost every year since Houston joined the NFL. They also have represented some of the darkest days Browns Version 2.3 has experienced, victors in the last two meetings. They have a gunslinger at quarterback, Matt Schaub. His favorite receiver, Andre Johnson, is healthy again. That's not good, as the Browns are second-last in pass defense (BTW, the Browns are 28th against the run, for good measure). And their defensive front seven is pretty good, but the secondary is weak and the Browns should move the ball through the air. Even though they are due for a bad home game, I expect a home win for the Browns today. The "P-word" will be solid, if they come through.

The Weather: As I emerged from my Gigantor Mobile this a.m, it seemed like a nice day was dawning. Sunny, near 50. Not sure what happened, because after the first quarter, el sol disappeared. Then it kinda got cold.

Today's Giveaway: If there was one, I didn't get it. Although I did buy a t-shirt from a guy on the street for $10. You'll know what it is, the next time you see me wearing Browns-related garb.

Section 345: Today's altercation involved the words: "That guy stole my corn dog." Not sure what that means, as I do not think corn dogs are vended at the Stadium. This was between two Browns fans, for a change. Violating some kind of code, I'm sure. Anyhow, one guy was ejected and pelted with rocks and garbage on the way out.

Best Browns Play: After two short yardage running plays failed, the Browns came up with this gem in the second quarter on their next third-and-one. Derek Anderson fakes a right sweep to Jamal Lewis with the best ball fake he's done to this point. Everyone bites. I mean, everyone. Meanwhile, Joe Jurevicius ducks under everyone and goes to the left, catches a short pass and runs toward the sideline. 25 yards later, it's a big first down and three plays later, the Browns score their first TD. File that play for future reference this season.


















Second-Best Browns Play: Had to be D'Qwell Jackson's interception early in the second quarter. The Texans were leading, 7-0, and driving again. Big hit and the ball popped in the air and Jackson grabbed it before it hit the ground. Terrific game from Jackson, who is completely outplaying Andra Davis this season. Jackson had 12 tackles to Davis' 2 today.

Worst Browns Play: As I noted earlier, the Browns had two terrible short yardage plays in the first quarter. Unbelievably, Jamal Lewis was not on the field for either one. First drive on a third-and-two, Jason Wright gets one yard up the middle. Ugh! Second drive on a fourth-and-one, Lawrence Vickers gets stuffed for no gain up the middle, with Josh Cribbs in as tailback, for God knows what. Double ugh! If you signed Lewis to be your big back, where is he on these downs?

Best Line from Me (seeing how the Canon contest was won by a lady with a very large zoom lens): "She must like the big ones."

Best Line from Gale (in reply): "Don't we all."

Best Line from a Random (after Derek Anderson threw away a pass, in which he had a man open and several yards clear in front of him to run): "Derek. Oh, Derek. May I have a word with you?" Effeminate delivery and subtlety made me laugh.

Oddest Browns Jersey: 2 Couch (Still. In orange!), 29 Turner, 33 Hoard, 54 Spielman (who entered our row from the wrong side, making everyone get up), 86 Northcutt.

Food Items: None, because the pre-game meal was Breakfast Lasagna and Corona Lights at Alesci's. I may never fully digest that one.

Most Obvious Sign It's Cold: Cold weather equals shirtless men displaying some slogan I could not determine.

The Fuckin' Run: The Browns, in a textbook display of cold weather, November football, actually displayed the type of running game that can win you some late season ballgames. 148 yards on the ground today, with Jamal Lewis picking up 134. The second time he's gone over 100 this year. The Texans, who seemed to outsmart themselves a lot on offense today, didn't have as many opportunities and gained 77, with Ron Dayne gaining 78. Dayne averaged almost 5 yards per carry, but a horrible reverse call by the Texans resulted in an 8-yard loss. Outrushing an opponent is a very positive sign for the Browns.

Worst Stat: The Browns were pretty good today over the last three quarters, so the 7 penalties for 71 yards needs some work. Too many of those illegal shift infractions.

2nd Worst Stat: Dave Zastudil was pretty erratic punting today for a 35-yard average.

Most Interesting Stat: Braylon Edwards had another TD today, making it 11 on the year. He needs two more to break Gary Collins' long-standing record of 13.

Today's game was good for the Browns. Unbelievably, they are 5-1 at home this season. They proved they could run the ball against a team that had a reputation for being pretty good against it. And after a slow start, they managed 27 points again. But today, it was done in a grind-it-out, very physical fashion, as opposed to an aerial circus.

The defense played pretty well today, holding the Texans to 2-10 on third downs. They gave up 314 yards, mostly through the air, but made solid plays when they had to, resulting in three turnovers.





















Next week, it's Arizona on the road. This seems to always be a difficult game for teams that don't visit there very often. Ask Pittsburgh about that. But the "P-word" is becoming closer to reality with today's win.

Browns win, 27-17, in a surprisingly physical game.

Meal of Links

Fred Thompson doesn't like the treatment he gets from Fox News. Well, get in line, mister.

How to pick a medical plan.

Books about rock music abound for the holidays. Genesis even reunited for one.

Exercise Yard

I thought I'd let everyone know that while the Browns have been winning, LeBron has been posting triple-doubles at an alarming rate lately. I happened to have the game on while going home after the Browns game today, and Joe Tait announced the attendance at Indiana as 11,603 and applauded the Pacers for their honesty. Some of the teams are really struggling attendance-wise. New Orleans gets a lot of bad ink about its attendance woes, as does Charlotte, but look at that Philly number. 60% capacity. Yikes!

Visitor

A sunny, then dark, then rainy Browns Sunday.

I very seldom watch ESPN Gameday, but they were at Arrowhead Stadium for today's Kansas-Missouri clash. But it's the signs the fans make that slay me. It is very much like a WWE broadcast, there are so many of them. A sample:

"Domo Arigato, Jose Canseco" (a nod to Mr. Roboto, perhaps?)
"Extra Stretchy Pants Needed" (for KU coach, Mark Mangino, obviously)
"ESPN: Obesity Lives Here"

The best may have been a wordless one: A large Mark Mangino face paired with an equally large chocolate cupcake. They appeared to be chasing each other.

Kansas lost, so Mizzou moves up, as do the Buckeyes. By God, I don't think America wants a Mizzou-West Virginia championship game. I see the Buckeyes getting in and someone getting hosed.

Meal of Links

Last night, several of us went to Polka Happy Hour at the Happy Dog. I can't stress enough that no matter how you feel, a couple hours of polkas have no choice, but to brighten your day. Hey, we won a round for knowing where Hamtramck was, too. So it's educational, as well. We'll be back the Friday before Christmas.

Continuing the busy day, somehow I found myself at the Christmas Tree Lighting Downtown. And it was cold. Well, I saw one marching band. Thank God, it was Shaw, so at least there was some swingin' goin' on. Then it appeared to be a bunch of horses pulling people in wagons, carts, and buggies. Until Santa came by. BTW, check out the city's Christmas tree, in all its glory, listing toward Terminal Tower. Could they not see that it wasn't straight?

After a lot more drinking and warming up, Gale, Uncle F-Bomb and I headed over to the Asian Grille on Clifton. Man, they had some mean Hot and Sour Soup. I also had a three-star (meaning hot) dish called Excited Chicken. It was Excited, all right. Not so hot, you couldn't stand it, but just right.

Exercise Yard

My brother and I attended the Cleveland State-John Carroll game today. Billed as the "Rascal House Rivalry Game" unbeknownst to everyone in attendance. This game remains difficult to judge how CSU will do this year. They never seem to get up for the Division III Blue Streaks. Plus, it was the odd starting time of 3:00.

Typically, the game goes as follows: The Blue Streaks play the Vikings tough for about a half or so, then CSU wears them down, eventually winning by 20-25 points. This year, that did not happen, as Carroll never really folded. The Vikings had leads of up to 14 in the second half (maybe once), but it never dropped below 7, I thought. CSU eventually won, 67-57.

The highlights were few. Each Saturday is now $1.00 Hot Dog Day, which is quickly joining the tradition of overexposed sidelights like fireworks in this town. They also revealed the name of the new mascot yesterday. Who knew there was a contest? Anyhow, the P.A. guy, seemingly speaking Ork the entire day (we had trouble understanding him), proceeds to give us a grand intro. Jeff thought, "Maybe Odin?". "He was named after a Scandinavian king...", I said, "Oh no, not Olaf." On and on. Finally, the name is revealed as..."Madness!"

Jeff says, "They named him Madness! Hahahahahahaha." I said groaning, "You have got to be kidding me!" Of course, we are laughing, saying his theme should be "One Step Beyond", etc. Eventually the guy behind us tells his kids they named him not "Madness!", but "Magnus". Oh, never mind. So we had to name the two broom holders under each basket. The girl was "Broom Hilde" and the guy was "Thor Sweeper".

On December 8, they are giving away Magnus bobbleheads! Madness, I say! And for some yet to be determined reason, you are supposed to dress as your favorite Arnold Schwarzenegger character. A big WTF on that one. We already are prepping my Dad to be Mister Freeze.

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28 Across: "Little Caesar" director Mervyn (5 letters) Answer: LeRoy

Yesterday was a feast. I got to have breakfast at my Dad's, as my sister-in-law whipped up a a meal for everyone. Just another opportunity to have fun and I thought it was really nice.

Later, I went to my Uncle's for Thanksgiving dinner. (Joke: Why did the barber sweep the floor the night before Thanksgiving? He wanted to serve turkey dinner with all the trimmings.) And trimmings we had. Plus, I had bourbon. Again, it was very nice and I'm extremely thankful for the people I have around me. I am truly blessed.

Meal of Links

Black Friday is upon us. I'm always intrigued about the reporting associated with this idiocy. It seems every year the initial reports are staggering. Most malls are jammed, companies are hitting their targets, etc. Then by Monday or Tuesday of next week, it's all gloom and doom and most shoppers are waiting for the retailers to cave on prices, as they always do, and retailers are in trouble. let's see if that trend holds up.

This weekend is always a great time for online shopping. I always use DVD Price Search, as a starting point. And it's usually a given that I purchase some items at Deep Discount DVD, which always has 20% off everything through Sunday. Use that promo code: PRICESEARCH. Great selection and free shipping, as well.

Five drinks that bartenders hate to make. Not sure if I'd order any of them, but if you wanna irritate someone, feel free.

I went to see the Coen Brothers' latest effort, "No Country For Old Men". I liked it, it was sort of a Wild West theme based in 1980 Texas. It was damn near a perfect movie for me. Lots of great acting, nice supporting roles, violence, tense drama, etc. Violence that is mindful of the Sam Peckinpah school. Except it's a movie that lets you determine what the future of the characters is. I sorta like, from time to time, films that don't tie up all of the loose ends. If you don't like that, it may be a disappointment, but this one delivered. Tommy Lee Jones was very good. Josh Brolin was terrific. Javier Bardem was one angry, crazy dude. He had the coolest of weapons, though. A compressed-air slaughterhouse stun gun. Hah! Later rigged that up to a rifle, as well. It was like watching two McGyvers (Brolin and Bardem) go at it. Insane! Even Woody Harrelson and Stephen Root (Milton from "Office Space") show up in good roles.

Exercise Yard

Today's starting lineups for Colorado were courtesy of Eric Cartman. Yes! "Boulder has a lo-o-o-o-o-ot of hippies." Too much.





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47 Across: "Mystic River" costar (8 letters) Answer: Sean Penn