Get out your "cream" and your "clear" and let the lawsuits commence!

The Mitchell Report became public today. I've been waiting for this document for a while. I was ready to be disappointed. Then the leaks started. Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte? Omigod, they hooked the big fish in Clemens and maybe this report will have teeth in it! Then other names got leaked. Are you kidding me? Albert Belle, Jeff Bagwell, Albert Pujols, Jason Varitek, Nomar Garciaparra! Mitchell, you're a genius! This is like Christmas in...well, it's just like Christmas!

Then reality set in. MLB vehemently disputed the original list. And they were right. No Belle, no Bagwell, no Poo-holes, no Varitek, no Nomar. Ugh. It's the same feeling after Colin Powell's address to the U.N. on Iraq. Is that all the evidence they have? It's just a recap of BALCO and Kirk Radomski's case. Crap. Several ex-Indians are breathing easier tonight.

Plus, I am very curious to see the media reaction on Roger Clemens. I think Barry Bonds always had legitimacy in using the race card, regarding the media, for his woes. Oh, no question he did it, but he seemed to be Public Enemy No. 1 and lots of people should have joined him on the post office wall. Clemens is easily as big a star as Bonds and I'm wondering if he'll benefit from a wait-and-see attitude or have his own sympathizers in the press.

After sifting through the "steroids are bad for you" and the section detailing the history of MLB's drug policy, the highlights for me include:

Jose Canseco being banned from the press conference room today. Talk about the most obvious turd in the punchbowl. And Tony LaRussa backpedalling on public comments he made about Canseco.

Did Len Dykstra invent steroid tobacco? No, but he obtained some "real good vitamins".

The Red Sox questioning obtaining Eric Gagne in late 2006. Gee, the Dodgers think he's a steroid guy, should we get him? Naw, it looks like he can't pitch without the stuff. Then they go out and get him anyhow in 2007.

Juan Gonzalez going to Canada with the Tribe in October of 2001. A bag containing syringes, etc., was found by customs. Uh-oh, it's traced back to Juan Gone. He and his entourage all offer plausible denials.

This is a common phrase in the report: "In order to provide (player X) with information about these allegations and to give him an opportunity to respond, I asked him to meet with me. He did not respond to my request."

David Justice naming names until he realizes he has been outed. That ended his cooperation.

Ex-Indians in the report: Jason Grimsley, Chad Allen, David Justice (post-Indians usage), Tim Laker, Mark Carreon, Glenallen Hill, Ron Villone, Kent Mercker, David Bell, John Rocker, Matt Williams, Steve Woodard.

And, of course, Paul Byrd.

Where do we go from here? Well, the report is far from being the definitive document on steroid or HGH use. There probably will be more suspensions of varying length on some of the players. Eventually, more names will come out, given the amount of HGH investigations by the feds. The real sticking point is where did that list of leaked names come from this a.m.? Was that one man's wishlist or an at-one-time MLB-approved list of probable targets?

Meal of Links

I was at Solon Commons last night to see "Before The Devil Knows You're Dead". A Feistian total of 1, 2, 3, 4 in attendance. I arrive right as the movie starts and just as I start to mess with my Icee, Marisa Tomei is onscreen and she's naked! For about the first hour of the movie, each scene she is in, she's naked. The movie stars Philip Seymour Hoffman, Albert Finney and Ethan Hawke. Did I say Marisa Tomei is in this also, and that she's naked? I looked it up. She's a well-preserved 43 years old.

It's the story of a fucked-up family that becomes involved in a fucked-up jewel heist. The plot develops in a nonlinear storyline, and Sidney helps us out by using captions to tell us what day it is. Because the story focuses on the days immediately preceding and following the robbery. Sidney Lumet is the director and it is very good, probably one of his best. It's one to see at the local bijou, but no west side showings yet.

It is revealed what Bill Murray whispers to Scarlett Johansson at the end of "Lost in Translation". I think it has something to do with "2 Girls, 1 Cup". No, not really.

The Christmas parties are starting. Which cocktail is so you. Mine was tequila. I had plenty on my last Momocho visit.

On the First Day of Christmas
"Sometimes You Have to Work on Christmas"/Harvey Danger

Yes, it's time once again for some Christmas videos. Here's a song I recently stumbled onto, from Harvey Danger. I really liked this song and it's a good way to get things moving. A little long but stick with it. Favorite line: "My snow and vodka is melting, the alcohol isn't helping..."



Exercise Yard

After being named in the Mitchell Report, Roger Clemens says, "Not so fast, my friend.". As does Jim Parque.

Also, a handy-dandy Kirk Radomski Steroid Tree.

Visitor

39 Down: Horse of the Century Man (4 letters) Answer: O'War