Isolation Thought

I am in a silly mood today. So, this fit in nicely. My drunken neighbor, the mother of Future Felon, slurred this gem to her Dad about 6:12 this evening. "I want a job so bad, it's burning my insides." This after proclaiming she woke up at 3 p.m. Her favorite book. "Pete" finished my steps. They look good. But the guy calls me at work, telling me he's done, so I can only guess he's hinting around at getting the rest of his cash. I say I'll be home around 6:00. Of course, it's now 7:05 when he calls. Due to the construction in my neighborhood, he decides to wait and he'll get the check tomorrow. You'd think I live in Fallujah (originally spelled Fajullah to see if anyone pays attention), the way he described the roadwork.

Meal of Links

The latest e-mail rage. Guy selling ex-wife's wedding dress on eBay.

Henry Earl is back in jail.

Damn, Melania Knauss is now taken. IMHO, she needs her own version of "The Apprentice".

Exercise Yard

Jesus still can't hit a one iron.

Visitor

1 Across: Pitts of old films (4 letters) Answer: Zasu

Isolation Thought

I'm typing this while listening to Adam Ant "...up on the bookshelf. With the books....and the plants?" I think I just injured my neck through major head bopping. Today, I had to pick up some meds over at Walgreen's and as I was nearing the entrance, I saw another guy who could only be heading for the prescription pickup window. I hate lines, so I knew I had to get ahead of him. I thought I had it when he took off straight for the back of the store. I went down the deodorant aisle, turned left down the middle, cut around a Halls display, then, of course, encountered clueless lady in center of aisle, staring up at a high shelf in the broom aisle. As I neared the window, I could see the guy arrive first. Damn!! Wouldn't you know, his meds weren't ready. Don't you call, have an inkling, or any idea without going in person to leave without a pickup? And he wasn't upset. A distinct sign that he truly needed his prescription.

Meal of Links

I agree with Ben and Jerry's. They want you to vote. I'll do most anything for a free tune.

Omigod, the Cranberries chick not only repeats everything when she sings, she does it when she talks!!!

The McDonald's at Ridge Park is now open 24 hours. The neighborhood drunks and those that are high salute you, Golden Arches. I wonder if you can get breakfast in the early a.m.

Exercise Yard

The Indians bullpen blows another game. This is reminiscent of the "Bullpen from Hell" years in 1987 and 1988. That 1987 team featured the immortal Mark "Seats" Huismann, aptly named because of a great ability to throw the gopher ball.

Visitor

64 Across: TV comic Kovacs (5 letters) Answer: Ernie

Isolation Thought

While doing today's crossword (at Noon...while it snowed...in April), I glanced at some comics. I was again reminded that "Marmaduke" is truly a horrid strip. Was it ever funny? I think I may have chuckled at one in 1967. There cannot be anyone under the age of 80 that looks forward to seeing that on a daily basis. I get it, he's big, OK? And haven't they run out of words yet for the Jumble? I swear TI was a clue the other day.

Meal of Links

People of London are shocked that Britney Spears lip-syncs her concerts. In an unrelated move, Hulk Hogan cancels UK matches.

"Clap for the Wolfman" seems to be a hit that just won't go away.

The Second one-termer in his family and Lurch are arguing over 30-year old events. Ask most voters and they say "WTF?"

Exercise Yard

Marion Jones has the taint of the Balco scandal on her. The list of the cheaters. Some of the largest names in sports are on the list and seemingly no one cares. Even non-voters.

Visitor

61 Across: Singer Diana (4 letters) Answer: Ross

Isolation Thought

So, her show, "Rocked with Gina Gershon" is awful. Frankly, I don't care. Her ass makes up for any deficiences in the production. Much like, Uma Thurman in "The Avengers".

Meal of Links

"Bottle of red. Bottle of white. Billy Joel wrecked another car last night."

Priest accused of killing a nun. Apparently, he wrote the pilot for "Fear Factor."

Its a-live!!! Dick Cheney emerges from his spider hole. BTW, does Kerry remind one of Lurch?

Exercise Yard

The US Postal Service is ending its sponsorship of Lance Armstrong's cycling team. This actually happened a while back, but we're just getting the news today.

Visitor

8 Down: Shea player (3 letters) Answer: Met

Isolation Thought

No one stole my Sunday paper today. It's been three weeks since the last incident, but it was not exactly chock full of interesting reads. Usually something hops out at me that makes me linger a while on the topic. No such luck today. Even the sports page was pretty uneventful.

Meal of Links

I apologize, but who the hell is Usher? Have I heard this tune? Do I know this guy? Should I care?

Infineon, in a rare move, is actually outsourcing jobs to the USA. Hooray, we still know how to make stuff.

I love reading the NYTimes, because you never know what you'll find. Here is their Jack Welch-Suzy Wetlaufer wedding announcement. When their affair hit the papers, this was considered a scandal of major proportions. I understand it's their announcement, so they wouldn't touch upon that aspect of their relationship. But reading this blurb, you'd think it was some old country gentleman settling down in later life. Sheesh.

Exercise Yard

Corrie Sanders looked "heavy" for his loss to Vitali Kllitschko for the WBC Heavywight title. Looked like Sanders was there to land one big left hand (considering he threw it, oh maybe, once or twice a round), but Klitschko hit him a lot. More than a lot. I bet Corrie is suffering from a really sore face today. Larry Merchant probably had his best analysis in a long time on the HBO broadcast, perhaps because it was only he and Lamps calling the fight. I laughed when Klitschko called out Lennox Lewis, because he can't make any money fighting any of the jabrones left in the division. Maybe Toney can bring him some moolah, but not Ruiz, Brewster, or even Byrd.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

For those who have been asleep during the late winter/early spring, the Kentucky Derby is only a week away. Although they say this every year, this year’s race is truly wide open. This is the type of year when the winner may break some timeworthy handicapping rules, such as not enough prep races, not raced as a 2yo, etc. There are many places out there to help pick a winner. The Louisville Courier-Journal has good coverage, even telling you how to navigate Churchill Downs construction. The Derby Watch at DRF and the Derby Contender list at Churchill Downs has video, as well. (Click on the horse's name)

Two horses jump out immediately. Tapit, who provides the best story because of his trainer, Michael Dickinson aka “The Mad Genius”. But he may not have enough preps.

The Cliff's Edge was awesome in the Blue Grass Stakes and has Nick Zito, past Derby winner, training him.

Of course, these picks are subject to change.

Meal of Links

Cyprus, a wacky place.

I didn't think snuff films existed. Maybe they do.

The Hubble Space Telescope is 14 years old. Last Cleveland sports championship was 1964.

Exercise Yard

The Browns got swindled by the Lions in the NFL draft and switched first-round positions with Detroit and proceeded to toss in their second-round pick (good grief) to draft Kellen Winslow. Good player, but was it a coincidence that Detroit presented a jersey to Roy Williams in NYC, that had his name on the back? Williams was the only one with a jersey in New York with his name on the back, signalling to me he was Detroit's pick all along. Therefore, allowing the Browns to stay put in the second round. Thanks, Butch.

Visitor

57 Down: Former catcher Crandall (3 letters) Answer: Del

Isolation Thought

I despise queuing. I had the unfortunate experience of visiting two Marc's and a National City branch today. It amazes me that these lines have now turned into "Test Jim's Patience Day". At one Marc's, a woman in front of me had one item, which leads one to believe a quick exit might be forthcoming. This mensa paid for DEODORANT with a check!!! For $2.52. Of course, she then had to answer questions on where she lived, etc. Tick...tick...tick. At the other Marc's, bluehair cashier sees a packet of Smoothie mix I wanted to buy. "Ya try that before?" was her nicotine-enhanced question. What, in God's name, should I answer to that inquiry? Just punch the freakin' numbers. The bank was fine, but it kinda disturbs me when the help knows customers by name. Those people are spending way too much time indoors, if the whole staff knows you.

Meal of Links

Alanis and Barenaked Ladies summer tour starts at Blossom. It's ironic, don'cha think?

Slots in Ohio? Governor Tax says, "No." Fool.

Slate rates the tabloids. Reading magazine covers in that damn Marc's line, I found out "Jen's Worst Nightmare". Seems Brad got naked with Angelina. Believe it!!!

Exercise Yard

Pat Tillman, former NFL player, becomes the most famous soldier to die in Afghanistan. Let's remember all of those who have passed fighting these conflicts around the world. I am reminded of two other football players, Nile Kinnick and Bob Kalsu. Both of whom died during wars and have interesting stories.

Visitor

8 Down: Actor Buchholz (5 letters) Answer: Horst

Isolation Thought

I was zipping through the dial the other day and landed on VH-1 Classic. It's a rather mindless channel to have on while you're reading the paper, figuring out bills, or daydreaming about Jennifer Garner. I happened to see two videos back-to-back, "Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett and "Right Now" by Van Halen, the kind they don't make anymore. Joanie's was kinda cheesy but cool, because it showed how many record companies didn't sign her. It contained a liberal use of corporate logos and we know that can't be done in 2004. Van Halen's had a great combo of serious topics and humor and hardly shows the band. I hope that quality isn't lost today.

Meal of Links

The White House press corps is too polite. Bring back Sam and Dan.

Somethin' blowed up real good in North Korea. And you thought our government was secretive.

Paul Newman gets cranky over "Newman's Day". Wade Boggs volunteers to rename it "Boggs Day".

Exercise Yard

It's been 10 years since the tragic on-track death of Ayrton Senna. Tributes abound this week for the best F1 driver ever.

Visitor

66 Across: Columbo portrayer (9 letters) Answer: Peter Falk

Isolation Thought

I found the juxtaposition of an Omar Vizquel promo on WNCX quite humorous. You know the type, "This is Omar Vizquel of the Indians and you're listening to Cleveland's Classic Rock, 98.5, WNCX." Immediately followed by "Low Rider". Apparently, Santana was played earlier in the hour.

Meal of Links

Norris McWhirter, co-founder of the Guinness Book of Records, dies. Sets world record for no one caring.

Maybe the Olympics in Athens wasn't such a good idea. I don't know, no seats in Olympic Stadium might be cause for concern.

You can catch a lot of things from toilets. Add SARS to the list.

Exercise Yard

Ruth Bader Ginsburg performs some trickeration on the NFL.

Visitor

59 Across: Jazzy Fitzgerald (4 letters) Answer: Ella

Isolation Thought

I like Kevin Spacey. But, what the hell, is he doing at a London park at 4:30 a.m.? Oh, they call it "walking your dog" these days.

Meal of Links

"The Simpsons" are worth $2.5 billion to Fox each year. Doh, I think the strike will be solved.

Saudis deny "fine tuning" oil prices before election. They have time to make a larger impact before the election, however. Premium price was $2.09 at the corner today.

No more candy and pop in the Chicago schools. Remember when chewing gum was an issue in school?

Exercise Yard

Jeezy Creezy, the Bruins lose again to the Habs!! Maybe I get bonus points down the line for this torture.

Visitor

21 Across: "I Walk the Line" Singer (10 letters) Answer: Johnny Cash

Isolation Thought

I have to get my front steps repaired, as it appears they are sinking. Quickly. I'm just hoping they can last a couple of weeks until "Pete" fixes them. I have had very good luck with finding contractors in the "Old Brooklyn News". I like to spend my cash in a folksy, neighborhood manner. They are easier to chase down in a folksy way throughout the neighborhood, if something goes wrong. BTW, I found a half-empty bottle of Pepsi in a parking lot the other day. Of course, it was an iTunes bottle. Eschewing all health risks, I opened the bottle and under the cap was "One Free Song"!!! I ended up with about 20 freebies during the contest. Had a fairly high ratio of hits. Looking forward to the next promotion.

Meal of Links

Duke University is eliminating all 8:00 a.m. classes because the students are not getting the proper amount of sleep. This must be a recent college phenomenon. I know I slept more in my college years than anytime in my life. Of course, we had no Internet, no cable TV, and I think beer had just been invented. It was very mysterious.

Fox seems content to just steal NBC reality show ideas. First, it was Richard Branson aping Trump, now Oscar de la Hoya mimics Stallone. Look for "Scary Factor" in the fall.

McDonald's CEO dies. Mayor McCheese, the Hamburglar and Evil Grimace express interest in job.

Exercise Yard

Even the famous can suffer from "frozen shoulder" syndrome.

Visitor

35 Across: Gonzalez in 2000 news (5 letters) Answer: Elian

Isolation Thought

Be prepared for the media blitz on Bob Woodward's new book. The Bush administration prepares to duck and cover.

Meal of Links

A critic for the Chicago Tribune sums up "The Apprentice" better than I could. Again, it's the payoff of the last episode that makes or breaks these things. For me, the finale was too contrived.

I'm not sure I'd want to be the next leader of Hamas. "Clear and present death" seems to be an issue.

Nursing shortage is not going to be reversed for a long time.

Exercise Yard

Bad blood in, of all things, women's tennis.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

While getting a fill-up at my favorite cheap gas station this a.m., the Citgo on Pearl and Ackley (you know, the home of "Wacky Wednesdays"), oblivious lady driver commits a rarity. Not sure if she had just left the mechanics area, but I hear this "Boy, I'm glad that's not my car" kind of awful, grinding sound. It seems she had just run over some ground under repair. The driveway was clearly marked with two milk crates and an orange cone. I look to see her run over and drag said impediments a long way before stopping. The noise should have been a tip-off. They had to bring out a jack, because one of the crates was wedged underneath, hopefully, not damaging any undercarriage work she may have had done. Quote: "I didn't see it." Stay away from her. Of course, I won't mention that my car attacked me this morning. After my haircut, I got in, must have hit something that locked the doors, so I unlocked them and the alarm goes off. Once you're inside, it goes for 30 seconds...nothing you can do. Of course, this happens twice. "eyh.....eyh.....eyh" Wake up everyone!! The good news is I then passed E-Check. If your car is later than a '96, you don't have to do that "acceleration over the roller thingies" test. Of course, it's still Nineteen-fitty. Wow, I just had Jehovah Witnesses at my door. The latest "Watchtower" magazine had "The Mark of the Beast" on the cover. Funny, it didn't look like Coach K.

Meal of Links

The second one-termer in his family wants to renew the Patriot Act. Great strategy, let's have more freedom erosion and appeal to people's fears.

The Pixies are touring again. I don't see any Cleveland dates.

Everyone hates Omarosa!!! America once again rewards reality show contestants. Case in point, I present no-talent, Kit Hoover.

Exercise Yard

Michael Danton from the St. Louis Blues arrested on murder-for-hire charges. The Blues are out of the playoffs, as well.

Visitor

59 Across: Porky Pig creator Bob (9 letters) Answer: Clampett

Isolation Thought

Partcipating in a Dead Pool when no one of stature dies for a while, makes for a long game. Pass away (get it) the time with findagrave.com.

Meal of Links

Stock up. Major porn companies on hiatus until June, because of HIV scare.

Miwamax to pwint Baba Wawa's biogwaphy.

Bin Laden offers Europe the deal behind Door Number 2. "Monty, Monty!!"

Exercise Yard

Tiger Woods ends basic training at Fort Bragg. Decides to re-up for more grueling years on PGA Tour, married to Elin Nordegren.

Visitor

3 Down: Bob of the 80s Braves (6 letters) Answer: Horner

Isolation Thought

I thought I got a raise today. Nah, I forgot about "Expense Reimbursement". Shit.

Meal of Links

Strangely enough, drinking impairs brain functions.

Strangely enough, drinking impairs brain functions.

"The Apprentice" ends tonight. Bill or Kwame? Did you know Kwame went to Harvard Business School? I'm not sure they ever mentioned that. Meanwhile, the "Apprentice Gals" disrobe for FHM.

Apple sold more iPods than Macs last quarter. Bill Gates cues the diabolical laughter "Moo-hoo-hahahahaha."

Exercise Yard

Stevens steps aside, so "Thorpedo" can swim the 400m for Australia. Noble gesture. Of course, he then sold the story for cash.

Visitor

61 Across: Actor Vigoda et al (4 letters) Answer: Abes

Isolation Thought

It's no secret that radio absolutely sucks in this town. The "Heart of Rock and Roll" and we can't even find one commercial outlet that consistently plays good music. It is sad when you have to go to Canada for "London's best rock". However, I don't think the college stations in town have ever sounded better. May I recommend "Fiesta Alterlatina" on WCSB. The best Hispanic alternative going. Never disappointing. Wednesdays from 5:00 to 6:00 p.m.

Meal of Links

Batmobile recalled. No word if 1998 Passats or K.I.T.T. are next.

Kids, stay away from chicks like Audrey Seiler. The Smoking Gun with the court papers.

Latest Vanity Fair showed up. Always have to read Christopher Hitchens. Sadly, his VF columns are not online, but everything else is. Also, Bowie is in a couple of ads. A pretty cool B&W layout with Iman (Damn, whatever IT is, she still has IT) for Hilfiger. And for Audi, of course (tour sponsor). That's all over the TV, as well.

Exercise Yard

Move over Babe, here comes Barry. Remember that song? Ugh!!! Bonds 660th and 661st homers scooped up by the same dude in the boat.

Visitor

30 Down: Black in films (5 letters) Answer: Karen

Isolation Thought

I am a big fan of The Clash. But, it's a little disconcerting to hear the increasingly popular Cypress Hill single, "What's Your Number?" sampled to "The Guns of Brixton". The lyrics to "Brixton" are so powerful, to hear the beat used in a totally different context seems to cheapen the original somewhat.

Meal of Links

More security updates from Microsoft. Some of them deemed critical. Go here to download updates. Be patient, as the entire world is logging on there.

Another story on vision problems. I know I need an eye exam, but these daily reminders are killing me. Aren't there sharks running amok somewhere?

More kidnappings in Iraq. The second one-termer in his family hits the airwaves tonight.

Exercise Yard

My favorite fantasy basketball pickup, Bob Sura is an idiot.

Visitor

1 Down: Comedian Kaplan (4 letters) Answer: Gabe

Isolation Thought

Today is the home opener for the Tribe. Of course, the Indians have retreated from "This is not your Father's team." to the "They're still shitty." days of the pre-"Major League" era. However, it's a Monday and Rik will have plenty of bourbon at Alesci's. It's a great tradition each spring.

Meal of Links

Victoria's Secret cancels their televised runway show. If shows like this are getting cancelled, well, we just may have the draw the line on this indecency thing.

Firefighter in a road rage incident in NYC, with the old "I'm a cop!!" trick. Uh, it didn't work.

Kerry stumbles upon new campaign weapon: "Misery Index". We're all miserable. Let's vote already.

Exercise Yard

Bruins lose to Montreal. Uh-oh, here comes that feeling again.

Visitor

43 Down: Record producer Brian (3 letters) Answer: Eno

Isolation Thought

Just found out Leo Laporte has left Tech TV. Here are the details. Let's hope G4, the new owners, bring him back.

Isolation Thought

Hey, it's Easter, which means the annual run to the local cineplex. Is it OK to see "Hellboy" today? Hopefully, some Easter eggs have found their way into your bonnet or basket or other vessel.

Meal of Links

Cue the "Jaws" theme. HDTV is coming.

I wish I could read this, but Lasik seems passe. Conductive keratoplasty is the way to go.

I guess the second one-termer in his family was too concerned with vacationing when the infamous bin Laden PDB went across his desk.

Exercise Yard

Another entertaining night of boxing on HBO. The scoring seemed a little off in the Cory Spinks-Zab Judah fight. It was a unanimous decision for Spinks, but I thought it was closer. Stunning reversal in the Vlad Klitschko-Lamon Brewster fight!!! Klitschko has good offensive skills, but has a glass jaw of epic proportions. Plus, he punched himself out after only 5 rounds. I hope Corrie Sanders takes it to the other Klitschko, Vitali, on April 24.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

Howard Stern gets fined again. Key paragraph notes the FCC is now reviewing Stern tapes for obscenity, instead of responding to specific complaints. I gather that if a broadcast offends no one, but the FCC, they can fine that particular broadcast entity. That should be highly offensive to anyone in the listening public. The FCC is reaching way over the line of their authority. Stern is their number one target, but if they succeed with him, it will easier for others to cave. It must stop. And please put "Jet Airliner" back on the airwaves. Fools.

Meal of Links

Ex-Enron CEO "acts erratically". His attorney smiles and notes Step 1 of defense plan now complete.

Pope John Paul is getting sleepy...sleepy. Flattering picture from Good Friday services.

Dr. Henry Lee investigates the shooting of the Taiwanese President. Apparently, Dennis Fung was busy.

Exercise Yard

Arnold Palmer has played his last Masters, his 50th. Arnie may not have been the best golfer ever, but clearly, he was the most important. The "Babe Ruth" of golf had not won a PGA tournament event since 1973, but his earning power is still amazing.

Visitor

65 Across: "Gangs of New York" actor (10 letters) Answer: Liam Neeson

I had a Visitor on Friday, but I was not here:

46 Down: Swiss-born composer Joachim (4 letters) Answer: Raff

Isolation Thought

I found today's testimony of Condoleezza Rice to be "frustratingly vague". And what's with the audience applause at the 9/11 Commission hearings? It was as if I was watching an episode of "Good Times". A little decorum, please.

Meal of Links

LA Times car guy wins Pulitzer Prize. Click and Clack in an uproar.

Greenland is melting. Kind of...maybe...oh, hell, we'll be dead if it happens.

Uma....Quentin. Quentin...Uma. BTW, all things movies at Movie City News.

Exercise Yard

The absolute worst combined football and basketball programs in the NCAA. Three MAC teams made the list. A Miami grad thanks all three.

Visitor

45 Down: Singer Kitt (6 letters) Answer: Eartha

Isolation Thought

Do you know what your neighbor does for a living?

Meal of Links

Standings Update: Wal-Mart 3,000 Wins and 1 loss.

Frequent ejaculations are good for the prostate. Paul Reubens signed as national spokesperson.

Hey, I thought the war was over. Chips are falling.

Exercise Yard

Becks sleeps with Loos woman. Posh slaps him. Becks rings Kobe for jeweler reference.

Visitor

5 Down: Comic "Professor" Irwin (5 letters) Answer: Corey

Isolation Thought

Auto mechanics, hah! They wanted to charge me $1,600 to fix my car. Nope, give me the two-month...er....cheaper fix. It reminds me of the "Fusilli Jerry" episode of "Seinfeld".

(The phone rings)

JERRY: Hello? Yeah, this is Jerry Seinfeld. What? Twenty-eight hundred dollars?!! That's the estimate on my car?!! No, don't even do anything. I'm gonna think about it. Okay, bye.

GEORGE: What's to think about? If Putty says it's what it is, it's what it is. He's not gonna cheat you.

JERRY: Except that it's not Putty.

GEORGE: What happened to Putty?

JERRY: Eh, we had a little fight about the move. I took her to this other place. I think they might be trying to screw me.

GEORGE: Well, of course they're trying to screw you. What do you think? That's what they do. They can make up anything. Nobody knows. "By the way, you need a new Johnson rod in there." "Oh, a Johnson rod. Yeah, well, you better put one of those on."

Meal of Links

I must not be paying attention. When did ADD become ADHD?

The new Elvis, William Hung. Some think there's a racist angle to the story.

Saw "The Ladykillers" the other day. A must see for lovers of language. Reminds me of "The Hudsucker Proxy", which is on the list of 100 Movies that Deserve More Love.

Exercise Yard

50 Sporting Things you must do before you die: Part One, Part Two, Part Three. From a UK persepective.

Visitor

11 Down: Noted Wild West scout (9 letters) Answer: Kit Carson

Isolation Thought

Be sure to visit the grocery before you have car trouble. Liquids in the refrigerator consist of: one can of diet root beer, Gatorade, Bloody Mary mix and Absolut. Not necessarily a bad thing, but milk and juice would be nice. OK on the food front, for now.

Working at home gives you the opportunity to see daytime TV you normally don't see. Boy, it looked like Maria Bartiromo was ridden pretty hard over the weekend. I like the cut of Amy Robach's jib on MSNBC. Maury phoned in another effort with the ubiquitous paternity test show. However, Jerry tops all with a "Jealous Lovers" episode. OK, I know I'm late to the game, but now all the chicks want "Springer beads" or "Jerry beads" and flash the audience, while Jerry has a dancer (with handy pole) for audience pleasure. Of course, some quotes just make me laugh. Lover in first segment: "I believe there's someone out there for everyone, even Jerry." Jerry (after a dancer segment): "Let's hear it for the dancer....Let's hear it for the pole....Let's hear it for the Czechoslovakian." Lover in second segment: "Jerry, I only love her throat." Jerry (when a large woman threatened to flash): "No, no. Some things are better left to the imagination."

Meal of Links

Ten years since the death of one Kurt Cobain.

The Shiite continues to hit the fan. (Washington Post password req'd.)

Condi Rice will lay out the facts according to the second one-termer in his family.

Exercise Yard

Opening Day for Major League Baseball. Of course, the traditional opener is in Cincinnati, not Tokyo. I am surprised there wasn't much criticism of the Ricoh logo all over the Yankees unis in Japan. Maybe it was the 5 a.m. start time and no one saw it.

Visitor

18 Down: Chain-Wearing "A-Team" Actor (3 letters) Answer: Mr. T

Isolation Thought

After waking up and seeing April snow (again!!) and George Stephanopoulos call them "steer-oids" this a.m., I watched "The Thin Blue Line" by Errol Morris on IFC. Still holds up well.

Also, I'm pretty teed off the "Check Engine" light lit up on my 1998 VW Passat yesterday. Really bad idle. Methinks it is the catalytic converter or the alternator. I do know one thing...it'll cost me cash I don't want to spend on a car I am getting rid of in a couple of months.

Even with the time change, Duke still sucks.

Meal of Links

Tyco juror says, "Boy, that took a long time". Prosecutors get free game plan on what to focus on next time.

I've done things on this drunkard's list. It scares me a bit.

What does it mean to be an Indians fan at Jacobs Field? I'm not sure, but when I can verify I attended 5 games in person on the PD's top ten list of the theater of the absurd it shows where my priorities are. I just want to have a good time.


Exercise Yard

Michael Schumacher wins again. The greatest race car driver of our day.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

While flipping through the dial at halftime of the NCAA Final Four, I saw this idiocy on Wheel of Fortune. Category: Around the House. Answer was ?-I-P-L-?-C B-A-G-S. Of course, moron buys a vowel, an O, then gladly solves the puzzle, "Ziploc Bags". I hope the $$ he spent on that vowel causes him to lose a car. Bitter? No. More of an intolerance of ignorance.

Isolation Thought

Unless Paul Harvey steered me wrong yesterday, we change the clocks tonight at 2 a.m. I'm obsessive about this and will have all of my clocks "sprung forward" by Noon. Must have the microwave and oven clocks in sync.

Meal of Links

Labor Department says 308,000 jobs were created in March. Kerry says, "I want names."

Milk does a body good. Where did all the cows go?

Mistrial at Tyco court proceedings. I expect blue-hair Juror #4 to get some of the new windfall for the defense attorneys. And I'm sure she'll be hosting a reality show by fall. Probably on GSN.

Exercise Yard

Bob Sura, easily the best, cheapest late-season pickup in Fantasy Basketball.

Visitor

51 Across: Actor born 4/3/1924 (12 letters) Answer: Marlon Brando