There is nothing like exchanging Christmas presents near Easter. Many may say it does not qualify as a holiday present at this point, but I think it does. Regardless, it's nice to get some gifts at a time of the year when you usually get squadoosh. So, Best Friend and I decided, "Yes, gifts should be exchanged." and we did this at Momocho. No $35 pitchers of margaritas, but Happy Hour margaritas instead. $3.25 a pop makes them extra yummy.

Hey, I got a book...nice! And "The Office" DVD...even more nice! Then everyone picked on me because I got a box for one shrimp. With accompanying stuff, I might add, so I didn't think it was that heinous. Didn't feel like jamming it down my piehole, because I was stuffed or had hit the margarita limit. Besides, it makes for a good lunch.

Meal of Links

How they rip you off at the car dealership, when purchasing a vehicle. Bottom line is do your homework.

Christopher Walken is 64 today. I wonder if he has a fever.

The odd thing about MLB's "Civil Rights Game" today was that the Indians participated. Yes, our team with Chief Wahoo prominently displayed. Except for today. The other strange happening from the broadcast was that ESPN appeared to want to photograph or interview every black person in attendance. Seriously, C.C. Sabathia and Josh Barfield had more facetime than Paris Hilton did in her video. And that's probably more than they will have all year.

Exercise Yard

Tonight, Gale and I went to watch the OSU-Georgetown game at Fox and Hound on Day Drive. They gave us an excellent high-top table to watch teh game on the big screen. A few feet futher back and it would have been like at home, watching from my kitchen.

Hey, I don't mind OSU hoops, it's the football team that incurs my wrath. We went there because it's the OSU Alumni hangout. Or perhaps, one of many around here. Anyhow, we went there because I thought it would be a neat atmosphere and it sorta was. They actually had a bass drum and a brass section that played all of my favorite OSU tunes. OK, that was getting annoying by the end of the game.

But some lady dropped a pamphlet off at our table for the local Alumni group. You know, you do not need to be an OSU alum to join. I may join as a hoot and get some inside information I can pass to the men up north.

Visitor

59 Across: NBA's Thurmond et al. (5 letters) Answer: Nates

As I strolled through the neighborhood this evening, I noticed the sign for the local bakery. They have 4 Easter bobkas available. It made me curious as to the 4 flavors. We know the debate between chocolate and cinnamon bobka, as to which is the lesser bobka. But what about those two mystery flavors, they are even lesser than the lesser bobka, aren't they?

Meal of Links

The new album from Modest Mouse is getting major pub. Johnny Marr reporting for duty.

This guy is watching all of the Criterion Collection. You know, those expensive DVDs with lots of extras. Try finding Criterion's "Robocop" cheaply on EBay. Cannot be done. I have some Criterion discs, "The Third Man", "The Royal Tenenbaums", "Sullivan's Travels" to name a few. Still love The Beastie Boys collection.

Sharks are dying at a more rapid pace than thought. Shrimp are happy, though.

Exercise Yard

Where do you go for 2007 MLB predictions around the Internets? Why, the Wall Street Journal, of course.

Whoa, two guys pick the Tribe. Not just to get in the playoffs, but to get to the World Series.

Visitor

50 Across: "De Oratore" author (6 letters) Answer: Cicero

You gotta give W. credit. I watched his Radio-TV Correspondents Dinner bit this evening and he was funny. His line, "A year ago my approval rating was in the 30s, my nominee for the Supreme Court had just withdrawn, and my vice president had shot someone...Ah, those were the good ol' days." It busted me up. His comic timing is getting better.

A couple of guys from "Who's Line is it Anyway?" did some improv later on. It was a fun night until Karl Rove was invited to participate. Might be the most humorless man in the universe. Bush, very self-deprecating. Rove, very un-cooperative.

Meal of Links

The Top 10 Eighties TV Child Actresses who grew up to be hot. Maybe the list should have read "...and still working."

This Idol recap proves once again the best writer covering the TV beat in America is Lisa de Moraes. Very funny.

Jack White is gonna play Elvis. Well, a little bit anyhow.

Video of the Week

Since Cadillac ads are in heavy rotation during March Madness, I am falling in love with an old fave, "Start!" by The Jam. Here's a live version of the tune, which is done very well. Things to look for: Don't know about the dude with the paper at the "Start!"; "It doesn't matter if we never meet again, what we have said will always remain."; drummer in a tie; that additional "see you" tucked in during the second repeat; is that lame moshing going on?; awfully tepid applause for a killer tune. Remember, "what you give is what you get."

"Start!"-The Jam



Exercise Yard

I make it a point to ignore Indians spring training. Do we really think Grady Sizemore will hit under .200 this year? But it was hard to ignore Captain Cheeseburger getting hit with a line drive today. A day in which, not one, but two ESPN baseball experts (Stark and Olney) picked the Indians for the Wild Card.

Let's face it, the Indians starting pitching has been relatively injury-free the last couple of years. Nicks here and there, but nothing devastating. Liners off wrists can be devastating.

Visitor

37 Across: "____ Yankees (4 letters) Answer: Damn

I fell asleep in "The Dream Chamber" (my couch) and had the oddest dream that co-starred Scarlett Johansson that I'm still trying to decipher. First of all, everyone had their clothes on. But I was trying to find my seat location in this monstrous arena. It was in Section 1004, but the way the arena was built, I couldn't find the section.

The sections from 1009-1018 were hidden. So, I would go to 1008, then the next section was 1019. And, I could not figure out what the hell was going on. So, I stopped at a concession stand, bought a Pibb (a real Pibb and definitely not a mojito), and realized that there was this hallway that led to those missing sections. Sort of like finding a hallway in "Being John Malkovich". Just as I was ready to go there, Scarlett walks over. She knows me, I know her, so we start chatting until it was time for the event. Then I woke up. Hell, it could have been a Joel Osteen revival or something, but I have no idea where it was. The REM was in overdrive and it was really bizarre.

Meal of Links

Some behind-the-scenes thoughts from the executive producer of "Lost". Still have not seen one episode.

The Top 10 flops from Apple. Hard to think about now, but a trip down memory lane to some items that didn't make it. I recall the Lisa was unbelievably expensive for its time (but I think I saw one in a Rickie Lee Jones video back then) and I actually forgot about Pippin! And the Newton, of course.

Whoo hoo, another boxing movie. I feel I must support boxing any way I can, so I actually pay to see any movie that has boxing in it. Even that Meg Ryan disaster, "Against the Ropes", filmed partially here in town. I even watched "The Harder They Fall" on Turner the other day.

Exercise Yard

Switching to the Women's Final Four for a second. Has anyone noticed the downright disastrous attendance totals at the Regional Finals. I used to have a difficult time with these games played at campus sites, but if that's the only way people show up, they need to move back there.

Visitor

8 Down: Brewer Coors (6 letters) Answer: Adolph

Have we run out of ideas in every phase of entertainment? The Proclaimers, yes, The Proclaimers, are at the top of the charts this time around. If I could walk 500 miles, I'd be in Illinois, I think.

With all of the new music out there, yuck! Modest Mouse with "Dashboard" and the Kaiser Chiefs with "Ruby" are two newer tunes I hear quite a bit. BTW, Coachella is getting closer.

Meal of Links

Pee-wee Herman, the last celebrity to be punished significantly, before simple fake apologies and rehab became the rage, gets more roles. I saw him on a "Raymond" rerun a while ago, and he was damn funny as a comic book dude.

You just knew Bowie was gonna have Arcade Fire at the Gotham Festival. Ricky Gervais, too.

I would be remiss without recommending "This American Life" on Showtime. It's a half-hour program from Ira Glass of NPR. I don't listen to NPR, but the TV version's first episode hooked me. It's online, as well.

Exercise Yard

In case you have not seen Peyton Manning for United Way:



Visitor

20 Across: "The Raven" poet (3 letters) Answer: Poe

I was running around like a madman today. It was a good day to prep the lawn for spring, so I did that this a.m,, because I had to go to a wake this afternoon. Nice day for a wake. Anyhow, one of my errands was at Walgreen's, where it appeared a driver ran off the road and struck one of their light poles. Who knows if he was drunk, but he did major damage to the car and the pole.

Then I ran over to Giant Eagle, where a blind woman was shopping with her family, I guess. She also had a dog, which was the first thing I noticed cruising my cart down the freezer aisle. Then I heard they were playing that old Bob Welch tune, "Ebony Eyes". I was singing along and I realized I this part was coming up:

"Your eyes got me dreaming
Your eyes got me blind..."

I didn't sing, but was that bad timing? The other part I found mildly entertaining, was that they let the blind lady pick out bags of frozen food. I don't know, could you notice the subtle weight differences being blind? Perhaps she insists on doing that and maybe she is not doing it for that reason, but it seemed odd that her cohorts wouldn't just grab a bag and toss it in the cart.

It's a curse, I notice these things.

Meal of Links

Looks like Jaws gets the "Monday Night Football" gig. Theismann is out.

Creep alert! It's a "Purity Ball". Doesn't surprise me this country is fucked up.

No wonder I saw a poll where Giuliani was whipping McCain. I like McCain, but this answer is a tad scary. Maybe, he's suffering from "Purity Balls".

Exercise Yard

Was anyone else fired up by Tiger Woods after he won at Doral today. When asked how he felt about his game heading into the Masters, his reply was, "Very pleased." Game on!

I had three of the Final Four participants: Georgetown, UCLA, Florida.

Visitor

None, it's a beautiful Sunday.

I am fighting a bad sore throat still, but I started the day with a need to some banking. Hey, my branch must have been robbed today. It had the old "Temporarily Closed" sign on the door and two police cruisers on the scene. Yup, I'd say it got nicked.

I wandered over to Ridge Park to see "Premonition" today. I had a "Premonition" this would be bad, and it didn't disappoint. This is the movie where "Jim dies." I need to get some audio of the scene where they talk about how great Jim is. Too bad, it was at his funeral. They also had the now ubiquitous shot of Sandra Bullock walking away from the camera, so we could see her butt. I think it's confirmed, she's carrying a load back there. And I like Sandra Bullock, but she probably needs to be involved in the editing of these scenes.

Uh, this movie was kinda stupid. Maybe not kinda, it was stupid. I know this did decent box office, but there were only 10 of us there this afternoon. And I had some Junior Mints, BTW. The premise was some sort of a weird Groundhog Day. Not that the days kept repeating, but that they were out of order. The lesson I learned from all of this is that if happens to you, by all means, tell someone. You'd think you could convince someone to stay with you and if you wake up and they are not there, you have some proof that weird shit is happening. Peter Stormare took time out from "pimping zee auto" and uttered a funny line, at least to me, "There seems to be some inconsistencies."

Meal of Links

Here are some great historical myths. What, Sir Walter Raleigh did NOT introduce tobacco to England? Bob Newhart thinks so.

Speaking of pimping. How to "Pimp zee office".

Let's take a look at drugs and toxicity. Hey, alcohol is pretty high up on that toxic list, mister.

Exercise Yard

After last night's NCAA games, it looks like the pool winners are gonna be the folks who don't watch many games. Even if you took a chance on as few as three teams this year (like yours truly), you got hosed. Too many 1's vs. 2's.

Last night's winners for me: Florida, Georgetown (2 for 4) (On life support)

Today's winner was UCLA.

Today's results.

Visitor

26 Down: Eponymous seismologist Charles (7 letters) Answer: Richter

Sometimes life can be especially cruel. After another mentally exhaustive day at the mill, I was looking forward to a nice, quiet evening of basketball. Anyhow, when I arrive at home, I hear this constant noise like, "MMMMMMM...buh,buh...MMMMMM...". Remember that crazy hum that people were hearing at times in Roswell or some place, it's kinda like that. It's a mystery to what it actually was, but there it is again. I'm not sure if this was some sort of synth or maybe a bass (These clowns have a band, not sure if they do paying gigs), but, my goodness, it sure is an irritant. If I do not have music playing or the TV on, I am subjected to this droning every once in a a while. Hey, after a trip outside, I think it may have been the Mensa's car stereo or something. You know, the tinkering type that has to make sure the dB level is perfect. These folks are pretty weird. Remember these are the ones who tried to leave their driveway without shoveling during the snowstorm several weeks ago. Can't wait for summer.

Meal of Links

This is old, but it's always good to check on the "Dark Side/Oz" mashup. Don't know how high the guy who originally thought of this was at the time, but it had to be "Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval", at least.

Hey, you like edges of baked goods. We have edges.

Everything you wanted to know about Greg Oden. Scary thought, I weighed more than him at birth.

Exercise Yard

Looking at tonight's March Madness, I need Ohio State, Kansas, Texas A&M and UCLA to win. Otherwise, I think my bracket is over.

Kansas hung on for a win over SoIll. A&M had some really strange stuff happen to them in the final minute, with Law blowing a layup late. UCLA and Ohio came through.

Pool Winners: Kansas, Ohio State, UCLA (3 of 4)

Desperately need USC and UNLV on Friday, or it's over.

Visitor

22 Across: TV talk pioneer (4 letters) Answer: Paar

My MoneyCard has been rendered useless. It has been split for a while, but now it can't read the stripe, although it had been able to for a while, even with a small split. At least the ATM won't swallow the card, it just says nicely to try again. I gave up after 5 tries. Seemed like a legitimate effort. Takes 7 to 10 days, mind you, to get a new one. I'm sure I can go inside a bank (the horror!) to use it, if necessary. I would expect they get just as digusted as the cashier at the grocery, who tsks when they have to type in the numbers on your discount card, when your card doesn't scan. Oh, I know all their tricks to get under my skin.

Meal of Links

Comic books can be unintentionally funny at times. He said "boner". Merkle's Boner is still funny, as well.

Larry "Bud" Melman, R.I.P. I loved that man. I seem to recall a trip to Roosevelt Island that was unbelievably funny. God, that was when Letterman was the best. Take note of the infamous Larry Bud interviewing style:



I really like good opening credits, be they in a movie or a TV show. I don't know, it's like the producers really care about their product. It's nice to see some good ones around, especially since the demise of the TV theme song, and the short running time of most shows these days. Great to see "Dexter" on there, as the opening sequence hooks you. Well, at least it hooked me.

Exercise Yard

Matt Schaub was traded to the Texans. I think the Falcons become a prime player to move up from what is now the 8th slot in the draft. I can see them easily packaging their one and a second rounder to move up even higher. I hope the Browns answer the call.

Visitor

47 Down: Harris of "Seinfeld" (7 letters) Answer: Estelle ("What am I supposed to do with all this Paella?")

When will we get a Sonic? After their latest commercial (during "The Riches", BTW) for a Banana Pudding Shake, apparently not soon enough. Oh, why do they torture us so? Closest location: Whitehall, OH.

Meal of Links

Folks are eating less fruits and veggies. I had a pear and broccoli and a salad today. I guess that counts for something. OK, I had Girl Scout cookies, too.

When to buy gadgets. Wait is the operative word.

In Detroit, houses are cheaper than cars. Hey, maybe the next Will Smith movie will have him living in a house.

Exercise Yard

Cricket may have killed the Pakistan coach. The pressure of the job may have bowled him over at the World Cup.

Visitor

41 Across: School official (4 letters) Answer: Dean

I got through another Saint Patrick's Day at Alesci's. Gale and I got down there about 3:30 and it was still crowded. The main thing you notice immediately is the smell of beer downtown, it's everywhere. Or is that urine? The other thing you notice is the crowd is not getting any older. Man, are they young these days. Chaperone hat prominently displayed. And the overall crowd seemed smaller this year, as last year's Downtown-work-on-Friday crowd was not a factor.

Really without incident this year, as I stayed sober. Only a couple of indoor vomiters. Port-A-Pottys outside helped. 9-1-1 called only once as a friendly push resulted in a broken nose on some kid. Lots o'blood. Other than that, kinda normal. There was only one surreal scene that I witnesssed. I used the Port-A-Potty out back and as I was walking down the alley, it was a bit cloudy and the wind was blowing trash, mainly empty beer cups, around. There was an alarm going off in some building and there was a guy conducting a shell game for $50 a pop, near the Port-A-Potty. It reminded me of something straight out of your worst Y2K scenario.

Meal of Links

Not sure if you watched the Action 19 News report on the gas station that was reselling Girl Scout cookies. First of all, I missed last week's cookie sale at the local Giant Eagle. Anyhow, I buy gas at the Valero station that had the cookies. Cheap prices on Wednesday and Saturday and they will pump your gas all day on Wednesday. Today, was my first visit after the "scandal" broke. Each pump had a letter with a reasonable explanation on what was happening, saying they've done it for years by buying a bunch from the kiddies saving them from door-to-door sales, appropriate shots at Channel 19, and an explanation of any corrective measures, etc. I don't know why they were selling them for $4 last week, but hey, it saved me this year, and they did roll them back to $3 a box. I bought two, tee hee. Anyhow, every pump had a customer, so it hasn't hurt business at the gas station. BTW, eBay has several listings for Girl Scout cookies.

Bill Maher talks about "Sacrifice". I laughed.

While Roger Daltrey still has bronchitis, Columbus gets a rock festival. "Rock on the Range" is at Crew Stadium in May.

And, if you haven't seen Paul Robinson's goal for Tottenham against Watford, here it is. Why is it cool? He's a goalkeeper.



Exercise Yard

VaTech Coach Seth Greenberg reacting to my bracket:



















This is the time my brackets tend to fall apart because you have to take some risk, no? I love Tom Izzo and I thought Michigan State's halfcourt game would slow down North Carolina. That worked for 36 minutes. Unfortunately, the games last 40 minutes, but the Spartans gave it all they had. It appeared Washington State had the game against Vanderbilt. Uh, no. Butler surprised me, especially the way Maryland's offense looked on Thursday. And I didn't have a dog in the Pitt fight.

Pool Winners (Saturday): Georgetown, Ohio State, Texas A&M, UCLA (4 of 8).

I had to have some things fall my way in Sunday's games to keep within striking distance. I had three matches where I had no pick. Wisconsin going down helped. Oregon winning sort of hurt. I had no one in the Virginia Tech-Southern Illinois game, as well. I had five games that were a must win. Florida, my pick to win, seems to be taking it easy until necessary, and prevailed over Purdue. Tennessee hung on against Virginia. I needed Kansas, Texas and Memphis to also win. Got a big win from Kansas, and Memphis was tough down the stretch. Texas laid an egg against USC, of which we saw 1:36 of game action.

Pool Winners (Sunday): Tennessee, Florida, Kansas, Memphis (4 of 8).

Non-bracket talk:

Why are the microphones on the rims the loudest ever this year?

"Entourage" guys on DirecTV ad. No, no, no, a thousand times no.

Gus Johnson not broadcasting the Round of 16 games. WTF? We need more Gus like during the Xavier-Ohio State game: "HA HA! College basketball! HA HA! CBS Sports! HA HA! March Madness!"

Too many Katie Couric ads.

Blimp shots of indoor venues are so...um...so...er...stupid?

Bill Raftery, who I really like, actually had a Carmen Basilio reference in today's Florida game. Only newspaper readers older than me got that. Then he sang, "You Can Call Me Al" for Al Horford. That song is 20 years old easy. This while at halftime, one of the bands was playing "Seven Nation Army" by the White Stripes. Gee, Bill, get with it.

Never thought I would hear a song by The Jam pimping Cadillacs. The song is "Start!", a fave of mine from way back.

CBS experts continue to make wild-ass picks. Clark Kellogg's pick of Stanford over Louisville in Round 1, was a miss of mythical proportions. Both he and Seth Davis confidently chose Winthrop over Oregon today. Not sure why.

More news.

Visitor

None, watching hoops til my eyeballs fall out.

Some thoughts as March Madness has taken "One Step Beyond". Remember when CBS actually played that as an intro for the tournament, lo, those many years ago.





















Pool Winners (Afternoon): Virginia, Tennessee, Memphis, Wisconsin, Oregon. Missed: Notre Dame, Creighton, Georgia Tech.

Pool Winners (Evening): Texas, Purdue, Florida, Kansas, Kentucky, Southern Illinois. Missed: Arkansas, Illinois.

First round total: 26 of 32.

To start, if you played it safe on your brackets, this was the year for you. Yesterday, the games were a bit more competitive, but only two of the lower seeds (Winthrop and Purdue) won. For the first time in memory, no #12 beat a #5. I had a solid #12 in Illinois over VaTech. Illinois played a perfect first half, dictating pace and extended for about 12 minutes into the second half. For a defensive-oriented team like the Illini, I was shocked when out of desperation, VaTech went to a press and they appeared to have never seen one. "Tell me, this press of yours, what's it like?" And, of course, the Illini folded, giving up the last 12 points to lose 54-52. I sat there stunned.

Other thoughts, Georgia Tech was another awful pick in a really badly played UNLV win. Disorganized was the keyword there. I thought the Winthrop pick was a little trendy and all, and I went with the Irish on Saint Paddy's weekend. That was my Marge from Accounting "I like the colors." pick of the year.



















The Hogs? Better left unsaid.



















I was reduced to watching the Miami-Oregon game on MMOD on my home PC. Strangely, CSTV picked up the Thursday at 5:00 game (Vandy-GW), but not the Friday at 5:00 game. Making the Miami-Oregon game the only one to have no chance of any national coverage. The boys did an alum proud, by not getting whipped and actually had a shot in this one. Oregon played at Miami's pace all day, which is slower than a snail. Odd first half as Miami leads 9-0. Oregon socres the next 20, but Miami comes back to a two-point deficit at the half. Late in the game, the score is 56-53, Oregon. With seconds remaining, Miami misses a three by inches off the front rim. They foul an Oregon guy and he hits two for 58-53. Miami tosses one in from midcourt for a 58-56 final. OK, it put everyone to sleep, but they almost pulled it off.



















I thought the two funniest things yesterday were The Sports Guy insisting that broadcaster Ian Eagle has to have a son. And name him "Ian Eagle II". Second, was CBS ran a promo for "Old Christine". Mike Gminski says, "I hope she doesn't dance like the old Elaine." The G-Man coming through with the funny.

Meal of Links

"Jeopardy!" had a three-way tie yesterday. Somewhere, Ken Jennings clucks to himself.

An "Idol" contestant is using his hair as a hypnotic tool. Vote early, vote often.

The "Da Vinci Code" killed someone. No, not me in the viewing audience, some obsessed artist/scholar.

Exercise Yard

After a round with basketball and the bottle today, don't forget that Formula One starts tonight. It comes from a land down under, where women glow and men plunder.

Visitor

5 Down: ESPN football analyst Jaworski (3 letters) Answer: Ron

A tradition unlike any other...Let the Madness begin!
























Wasn't the start of this year's NCAA Basketball Tournament a yawner? Yeah, some lower seeds, notably Davidson, kind of hung around a while, but most ended up getting whipped. And two teams, George Washington and Stanford, didn't even wake up and got hammered. So, there is not much excitement at the end of games, outside of wins from Virginia Commonwealth and Xavier. My pool is hanging in there. Trust me, from many, many experiences, Day 1 means nothing in these pools. But it is shocking to get out of the gate with 15.

Pool Winners (Afternoon): Maryland, Butler, Washington State, Vanderbilt, Boston College, Georgetown, Louisville, Texas A&M (8 for 8)

Pool Winners (Evening): Pittsburgh, Indiana, UCLA, North Carolina, Michigan State, Ohio State, Xavier (7 for 8) Only miss: Duke

BTW, the March Madness On Demand (MMOD) worked again this year. I did hear reports of some having real problems, but I experienced none that were major. I had more glitches with CBS when at halftime of the Ohio State game, they switched to Duke, then back to OSU at the start of the second half. After the Duke audience left to go back to their game, the HD broadcast left, too. It did not come back until they switched back to Duke. Ugh!

MMOD has a larger screen this year and only a few, very temporary glitches. AT&T even sponsors a non-CBS halftime show. The Ohio State game was a blowout, but I was able to watch a much closer Duke-VCU game and could check in on Michigan State's game and look at UCLA, too. Very nice package from the NCAA/CBS/CSTV and whoever else is responsible. It really is a gift from the sport gods.

Meal of Links

















Viacom sues YouTube. Viacom is a sister company of CBS. NCAA Tournament is on CBS. YouTube and Viacom start a NCAA Tourney Channel. Business makes strange bedfellows, huh?
















The worst mascots in Division 1. Tourney teams include: Georgia Tech, Southern Illinois, Florida, Vanderbilt, Ohio State, Purdue, George Washington, Xavier and Stanford.





















Teams to hate in this year's tournament. Looks like Duke is seeded No. 1 there.

Exercise Yard




















The tournament finally woke up with VCU beating Duke. Coach K looked like he should be starring in a Brioschi ad after this one. Even though I had Duke winning two, the whole nation is glad they are gone. Coach K now gets to practice what he preaches, "It's not about winning, it's about relationships."

Visitor

49 Down: "Countdown" host Olbermann (5 letters) Answer: Keith

In case you want to know how it was walking in this year's biggest thunderstorm to date, I can tell you. Of course, it could not have shown any real signs of raining before I reached the furthest point away from home. The amazing thing is that rain got cold awfully quick. One request, don't let me get sick like this guy. "Who do you think told him to pour the Gatorade over Marty Benson's head?"

Meal of Links

When George Brett or any batter hits, men fixate on his crotch. Wha-ha-ha? Women look at his face. I usually look at the crowd, so I would definitely skew the results. In HD, I always think about the cute girl in Row 2. What's her story? Who's that goofus next to her? What are they eating? I ain't lookin' at no crotches. And don't you think George Brett was happy his pics were used.

Simon tells Seacrest Out to "Come out." Here are his straightest moments. Wonder what he watches at a baseball game. BTW, can't wait for TV Bingo. First number: B-12. Every wiseass in America yells "Bingo!".

Here are the "20 Worst Covers Ever Made". And since POTUSA made the list, here is a better memory:

Video of the Week

I'm a big fan of the song "Lump". First off, it's short. And it has lyrics that I find funny like, "Lump lingered last in line for brains, and the one she got was sorta rotten and insane." Things to look for: Men in suits playing instruments in a boggy marsh; then we have shadowy stage antics in front of a screen showing a boggy marsh; the boys take a cab from the boggy marsh to the dock; they are their own roadies; now we are on a (garbage?) barge; arms like semaphores; more stage antics on the barge; "Is this lump out of my head? I think so."

"Lump"-The Presidents of the United States of America



Exercise Yard

Almost time to enter the spider hole. The public speaks on the NCAA Tournament. Upsets? I see live ones in Arkansas and Illinois as 12 seeds. I think Georgia Tech is a nice 10 seed with Creighton.

Visitor

71 Across: Three-time Pro Bowl linebacker Jordan (4 letters) Answer: Seth

While ignoring the NCAA Play-In Game, the "sitting at the card table at the holidays match" as I heard it described today, I am really digging Nine Inch Nails' new song, "Survivalism". Check it out, if you get a chance. Especially on such a nice 70-degree day, eh?

I still have not viewed the Rock HOF Induction, but Van Halen is one fucked up band. Ed's getting help in the nick of time, because he was Dead Pool material in 2008. Alex, well, Alex is Alex. But to have two kicked out members accept, a kicked out David Lee Roth not show up, and Velvet Revolver refusing to play "Jump" because THEIR artistic integrity would be compromised confirms that mess.

Meal of Links

London. The new capital of the world. Sorry, Cleveland.

Luc Besson gives the nod to "Transporter 3". Keep early September 2008 open.

ESPN remains clueless. Rock, Scissors, Paper will probably air more than poker. And I thought "Madden Nation" was a new low.

Exercise Yard

Jeezy creezy, this guy is looking for the next George Mason. Uh, not this year. I feel there is a significant gap between the best teams and any other tier you come up with for this year's March Madness.

Right now, I don't see any of the teams he picks making a splash. Nevada plays no defense, but they play Creighton, who he also picks. That winner plays Memphis and is done. Southern Illinois is the worst Number 4 seed in the tournament. Old Dominion cannot shoot from the outside, I think Butler takes it, as they play D and take care of the ball. New Mexico State probably won't beat Texas.

Visitor

65 Down: Guitar man Paul (3 letters) Answer: Les

I was reminded of this today. I was over at the Post Office on Saturday and Lenny was working. Lenny is the old clerk who allegedly went crazy and threw a trashcan at a customer. I walk on eggshells when he's working. I needed a book of stamps and asked him for something new. Of course, he gives me the "Love and Kisses" stamps. I can't win.

Meal of Links

Wouldn't you like to have a conversation with Shane MacGowan? At least once?

March Madness has many bubble teams. And if you watched or listened to any sports programming, you know Syracuse got hosed. But it's not confined to NCAA hoops. Here are network TV shows on the bubble.

How to make a geek employee happy. Yes, beer is mentioned.

Exercise Yard

Last Friday, I heard Hillbilly Jim on Steve Czaban's Fox show. Lots of good stories and it's scary how fondly you can look back on wrestling. Then I see that Ernie "The Big Cat" Ladd died over the weekend. For any rasslin' fan, a sad day. Ernie also played AFL football, one of the tallest to ever play, and you can see him on the Kansas City Chiefs sideline on their Super Bowl film. Also was one of those "Rasslin' is tougher than football" guys. I recall his gimmick of the "controversial taped thumb". You absolutely did not wanna get hit with that, and he must have been a joy to hitchhike with.

Visitor

17 Across: Chief Norse god (4 letters) Answer: Odin

My alma mater, Miami, actually gets to do a little dancin' at March Madness this year. First time since the days of Wally World, ten years ago. And we are not coached by Abe Vigoda, as someone implied, although he may have better health than Charlie Coles. Typical Miami game last night. If they can keep the score in the 40's and 50's, they have a shot of winning. If the score heads north of 60, it's trouble. North of 70, they're done.

Am I the only one who thought the refs blew the timing at the end of the game? OK, 6.6 seconds left, and Akron guy misses a foul shot. Miami rebounds, but the clock does not start right away, later the refs say .6 seconds went missing and I agree with that. Miami pushes the ball up court and sinks a three at the buzzer to win the game, at least everyone thinks so. Clearly, the clock does not start on time, so the refs ADD .6 seconds to give Akron one more chance. Now, hold the phone. If the clock did not start for .6 seconds at the START of the possession, why are we adding .6 seconds at the END of the possession? In other words, Miami did not take 7.2 seconds to hit that shot. Even with the clock error, it was still done within the prescribed 6.6 seconds.

I thought it very simple. As long as the Miami guy shot the ball with more than .6 seconds on the replay, which he did, the game should have been over, as the game ended as the ball went through the nets. I don't understand how they added more time and I think there would have been a major controversy if Akron had won with that extra time. Now follow me. 6.6 seconds on clock, clock does not start right away, everyone agrees on .6 seconds. When the Miami guy launches the shot, there are maybe 1.2 or 1.4 seconds left, when it should have read .6 or .8, using the .6 seconds explanation. So, that means there was actually less time than what the clock showed, and it would have gotten to 0.0 quicker, not later, with a correct clock. Someone tell me why they added more time, outside of causing me to invent expletives? Again. I still don't get it.

I like the fact Miami got placed in the Midwest Region...at Spokane, WA. Huh? We get to face the Ducks of Oregon. Reference Paragraph 1. We're done.

Meal of Links

Let's all get on the bandwagon early with one show that is about to become a regular on my schedule. "The Riches" debuts Monday on F/X at 10:00. You might as well start watching now, instead of me imploring you to save shows I like from cancellation. BTW, I probably had three programs cancelled on me this year. "Kidnapped", "Knights of Prosperity" and "The Class".

Things I've tried lately:

Diet Pepsi Jazz. The Caramel Cream variety. I've decided this shit ain't very good, and it's really fizzy. Why do all the Diet Jazz products seemingly need vanilla ice cream in them to make them taste better? On second thought, what made me think liquid caramel soda would be good? Hot butter caramel smoothies, yes. Fizzy soda with the slightest hint of melted Kraft caramel taste, yuck.

Pringles Select. I don't know who comes up with this stuff, but the idea of high-grade Pringles is kinda funny. But these were unbelievably good. I got the Szechaun Barbecue variety. Good spice, good crunch, and they come in a bag. But head for the mouthwash immediately.

Trader Joe's Soy and Flaxseed Oil Spicy Tortilla Chips. OK, this is even more of a WTF? than the Pringles. I'm not sure if Barry Bonds likes these or if we use the Cream or the Clear for dipping, but these babies were pretty good and I did not really care if they were healthy or not. With TJ's fresh salsa, I vote yes.

How Walt Disney changed everything. BTW, Orlando is one of the Top 25 Most Dangerous Places to Live.

Exercise Yard

I kind of liked this tribute to goal celebrations in soccer. I wish there was a better film of Robbie Fowler snorting the touch line, but there are some gems in here. The music (especially the last goal with "Psycho Killer") that was chosen for each goal made me laugh, too.



Joey Barton of Man City getting knighted by Corradi (who also does a mean "Street Fighter" celebration, BTW) always makes me laugh.



Visitor

None, it's Selection Sunday.

No, I did not win the lottery. Sure sign of spring is not daylight savings time nor doing taxes. Nope, it's me going to Lowe's to buy fertilizer. All of this happened today, so far.

Anyhow, I haven't been around because Nomar Stalker and I headed up to Detroit for some work-related training. Training is training, so no surprises there. You're drained more mentally than physically after a day in the classroom.

The highlights were many. We stopped at a Tim Horton's, of course, on the way to Southfield. I got me a Hot Butter Caramel Smoothie with a strawberry muffin. I loves my Timmy's.

And Mr. B's in Rochester was the way I remembered it. They have HDTVs, of course, but the beer was cold and the sammies are always good there. Threw my weight around and got them to put on the last 15 minutes of the Champions League game, too. And it's close to the Palace of Auburn Hills, one of the few places that still has onsite parking. Why does that matter?

Because we were at the best regular season Cavs game I've ever seen, the Wednesday night win over the Pistons at the Palace! Our boss sprung for really good tickets, about 10 rows from the floor, in the corner opposite the Cavs bench. Much like Value City Arena in Columbus, these seats are made for the 1920's body, a bit tight. Great atmosphere. The thing you notice is lots more urban people and kids than the Q. But there are definite similarities when it comes to game presentation, and if you hear that Dan Gilbert wants to copy things from Detroit, it's not necessarily a bad idea. Certainly you have to see a game live there before you pass judgment.

First of all, the pre-game festivities start 30 minutes ahead of gametime. We had a local dance school perform, which seems like a cheap and easy way to fill time these days. Then they have what I guess is a house band. Yes, a house band playing all your funk favorites from yesteryear. I heard some Sly and some Stevie Wonder. Very good unit, I would not mind seeing a rock band at the Q. They also have a drumline. No kidding, a drumline. The cheerleaders are Automotion. Trust me, everything is in motion on these women. They also show the Pistons on the big screen, emerging from the locker room. It sounds hokey, but it gets people fired up, anticipating the start of the game. Then they come out to the floor and the place goes nuts. They also have fire during the Pistons introductions. At the Q, the fire comes out of the scoreboard and you will definitely lose hair from most of your body parts that have it, it's that hot. At the Palace, the fire comes out of two pipes on each backboard. Lord, have mercy! Gotta have that fire. And "DEE-TROIT BAS-KET-BALL" has been replaced by the equally annoying "Pistons basketball, right back down the floor!". Overall, an assault on your senses that is a David Stern wet dream.

As for the game, well, everyone knows what happened by now. I thought at 81-72 the Cavs were toast, but somehow they managed to get that game into overtime and win. A few observations, probably to file away in case we meet Detroit later. Don't get me wrong, this was a huge win, but it masked some problems. Number one is our coach is awful. Why Shannon Brown was in this game went unanswered. And Mike Brown did not call one timeout in this game to halt any Piston momentum. Not once. It appears the Cavs are winning in spite of the guy. And it does not help when you have a journeyman like Damon Jones, standing next to the coach, during the game, mind you, to offer suggestions. I've never seen that. This was constant, as well, not just once in a while. This would be like Jack Haley sauntering over to Philip during the Jordan era and calling out plays. Unbelievable.

Next, our guards can't cover their guards. End of story. Rip Hamilton against Sasha Pavlovic will not work. Chauncey Billups was having his way with Larry Hughes and with Eric Snow off the bench, it didn't get any better. The Cavs got this win, simply because the Pistons went to the threeball late in the game. If they had stuck with some inside play, especially guards slashing to the basket, they would have won. Thank you, Flip Saunders.

But LeBron was the man. His dunk around two Pistons with five seconds left was an amazing feat. Showed how much speed and power he really has. Just an awesome performance. However, his teammates continue to miss open shots. In this game, it was Donyell Marshall who stunk. Don't want to minimize the win, because it was their best result of the year, but the Cavs cannot rely on LeBron scoring 50 a game come playoff time. Although, he just may do it.

Meal of Links

OK, most loyalists are already suffering from "The Office" withdrawal. But this seems to be a decent idea to fire up some old reruns, called "newpeats". These air next Thursday. And Toby hosts a marathon on March 29th.

You can also check out a bunch of episodes of "Andy Barker, P.I." before they air on NBC. I like Andy Richter. His last show was mishandled badly by Fox, so we'll see where this one goes. I thought the pilot was funny.

The Sun is always there. But I'm not sure we want them to be, because we get stories like this.

Exercise Yard

This article regarding the MLB/Extra Innings/DirecTV deal explains why Bud must go. As I said earlier, I know of no other sport that willingly denies a fan's ability to see more games.

Oh, goody. I get to take a look the Ray Austin-Wladimir Klitschko bout on HBO.

4:45: We are looking live at the SAP Arena in Mannheim, Germany. It's Lamps, Merchant and Lennox Lewis on the commentary. Harold Lederman not there, HBO must not have wanted to pay his way. Uh-oh, a sign this won't last long, as Harold comes on after Round 3. This is just like the old "Wide World of Sports" days, a heavyweight title on in the afternoon. I love it.

5:00: Ring entrances. The challenger, Ray "The Rain Man" Austin, is from Cleveland. Apparently, he goes to Browns games, as "Thunder" from AC/DC is played. The champ, Klitschko, "Dr. Steelhammer", has some dude pounding out something on an anvil. A video of his last three KO victims is played, attesting to the fact he is "Dr. Steelhammer". This is done as he enters the ring to the Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Can't Stop".

5:02: Michael Buffer tells us we get two anthems today. Yes, we are in Germany. The crowd is booing "The Star-Spangled Banner". Thanks, allies! The German anthem goes off without a hitch. At least, I think so, as the crowd cheers.

5:05: Intros. "For the thousands in attendance..." is in German. "Let's get ready to rumble!" not in German. Austin is about a half an inch shorter than Klitschko, they weigh about the same. Oooh, Dr. Steelhammer and The Rain Man have a staredown. Seconds out and we have...

5:08: Round 1. The crowd is shouting "Kleech-ko". Moving and pawing by both men. Klitschko has the better jab, Austin kind of a light one but he stayed on his feet. Not much action. Klitschko gets the round, 10-9, on my Harold Lederman Memorial scorecard.

5:12: Round 2. Klitschko has yet to throw a right hand. All of a sudden, it's FOUR LEFT HOOKS BY KLITSCHKO! Good night! Austin starts to fall on the first one. He is down and gets up at 10 and the ref stops it. Nice bit of work for a million dollars by Austin. The crowd is whistling, they are not happy in Mannheim. HBO goes to the big book of filler material.
















5:15: Dr. Steelhammer goes to each corner and applauds the crowd and waves to each side. The whistling subsides.

5:17: Buffer announces Klitschko as the winner and confetti rains down. It seems to me the folks at SAP Arena thought he had an excellent chance of winning.

5:21: Finally, Larry Merchant with the post-fight interview. Klitschko said he fought the fight, because it was a mandatory defense. Austin was slower than his sparring partners and it was a rather easy fight. He wants to unify the titles and is glad his brother is mounting a comeback in the heavyweight division. Merchant closes with some thoughts about Klitschko not being the perfect heavyweight, but "he's pretty damn good."

5:25: Lamps runs down the other champs and says the likelihood of unification is still a ways off. And it's "Auf Wiedersehen" from Germany.

Visitor

8 Down: Director Kurusawa (5 letters) Answer: Akira

I don't think it's silly to dream about winning 370 million in the Mega Millions drawing. I'm not obsessing about it, because how many times have we been down this road before with the large jackpots. It's actually kind of fun. Someone told me that you have better odds getting hit by lightning four times. Therefore, I am currently in an open field, holding a golf club aloft in a thunderstorm. In my mind.

I mean, I have a list of folks I'd give money to, doesn't everyone? A visit to the doctor for a complete physical would be imperative. Don't wanna get a prize like that, then find out I can't enjoy it. I would retire instantly, never buy another lottery ticket and go somewhere warm for a while. Plus, you could do a lot of good with that kind of cash.

I'm off to Motown for a couple of days. If I win the lottery, I'd probably still go for shits and giggles. At the very least, that means Tim Horton is in my future!

Meal of Links

Looks like theater owners want downloadable movies. Distributor costs would be reduced. Exhibitors don't want to fork over money for equipment with a short shelf life.

I found this to be an interesting read. The top 10 corporate moments in rock. I think "Ticketmaster crushing Pearl Jam" remains interesting to this day and TicketBastard with even higher fees was the result. Remember that? We won't play in your venues and we'll do it cheaply. When they realized Toledo was a tour highlight, they re-thought that strategy.

Watch TV at the cinema. And yes, they serve 44-oz. soda!

Exercise Yard

The pitchers with the wackiest windups. WTF, Valenzuela in a Padre uniform? That's like showing Phil Niekro as an Indian.

Visitor

15 Across: Designer Wang (4 letters) Answer: Vera

Well, we knew it was going to happen. My network TV viewing just got decreased by 60 minutes. "The Class" ended its season early tonight, with the appropriate "Lake House" ("Does the mailbox blow up?") jokes. Not sure if it'll be back. Still a mystery why this one didn't make it. I laugh out loud every week at that show. And "Knights of Prosperity" got the ax. Right when they were gonna start to rob Ray Romano. Who knows what would have happened if ABC had stuck with the original October start date.

Meal of Links

Lush finally announces on its website that it, indeed, is opening at Beachwood Place.

What the hell happened to Kellie Pickler? Rose Marie may be too kind of a comparison.

Starbucks says hey, maybe we grew too fast. As the article states, isn't that about 5 years too late?

Exercise Yard

No question, yesterday's fixture between West Ham and Tottenham may have been the EPL match of the year. West Ham will certainly be relegated after losing 4-3 in the 96th minute. Those poor Hammers, "What a body blow that is..."

The Highlights:



Visitor

49 Down: "The Heartbreak Kid" director May (6 letters) Answer: Elaine

I ventured over to the Cinematheque this afternoon to see David Lynch's "Inland Empire", shot in digital video. And since it's Lynch, the assorted nutbags and fruit loops of the area converged. Someone even came in from Buffalo. You know, these are the kind of folks who sit in the front row by choice.

The movie itself was vintage Lynch, although instead of translating dwarfs, we have to read what Polish people are saying. Why, in the first few minutes alone, we get what seems to be a TV show (with an absurdly-timed laugh track) acted by large, clothed rabbits...rabbits, I say; Grace Zabriskie, Susan's Mom from "Seinfeld", in her typical Lynch appearance as the "prescient foreign neighbor"; Mr. Pitt from "Seinfeld" as Laura Dern's butler; why there's Harry Dean Stanton; over there, it's William H. Macy. This was a "movie-within-a-movie" concept. Laura Dern, Justin Theroux and Jeremy Irons were the main people making the movie. I thought I had it pegged in the first 60-70 minutes. Then, it was off into Lynchworld and I have no idea what it meant from that point forward.

There were some small moments that I really liked. Beck's "Black Tambourine" got a nice extended play. When Laura Dern went creepy, two lines of hers made me laugh: "I kicked him straight in the balls so hard they go crawling into his brain for refuge" and "When the police came and they asked what happened, I told them "He's reaping what he's been sowing, that's what." They said "Fucker been sowing some pretty heavy shit." And there was this scene where these whores were gathered at Laura Dern's house...why?...I don't know, but one of them said, "You gotta swing your hips now" and snapped her fingers. That led to a dance number of the "Locomotion"! And, of course, the lingering cut that I love in Lynch's movies. You know, the little things. A phone rings in a normal movie, what, twice? He lets one ring about eight times before someone grabs it. And he stays much longer with a shot, when other editors would have probably cut twice.

As I was leaving, all I could think about was Jack Buck: "I don't believe what I just saw." Of course, I loved it.

Meal of Links

I woke up early today to find, of all things, "New York Doll", playing on The Movie Channel. This was the doc on Arthur "Killer" Kane, the New York Dolls bassist. It showed the Dolls reuniting with Kane, who now worked in a Mormon library, after a long absence. A really sweet tribute. Catch it, if you have a spare 80 minutes.

Four words you thought you would never hear again. A Jeff Foxworthy hit.

Sleep naked.

Exercise Yard

A crowded night of boxing last night. What was once a rarity is now becoming more common as both HBO and Showtime had cards. The first bout on Showtime included one of my faves, Vic Darchinyan, who must be the baddest Armenian on the planet. His opponent, Victor Burgos, 12 rounds in the Flyweight division. It only took two rounds for the announce crew to declare Burgos was "out of his league". Darchinyan pounded Burgos for 11 rounds, finally getting a KO in the 12th. Burgos must have set a record for slips as I think it numbered six. After another slip in the 12th, he got up again, the ref asked if he was OK, Burgos said yes, but you could tell he was out on his feet, as he was stumbling. After two more blows, the ref stopped it. Burgos had to leave on a stretcher and it's been a long time I've seen anyone in that condition. He was clearly not coherent and looked like he was on the edge of exhaustion, or even death, I dare say.

Fight number two was between champ Israel Vazquez and Rafael Marquez at Super Bantamweight. Could not be hyped any more by Steve Albert. Geez, "Fight of the Year" potential, it was a "war", he could not shut up about how great the fight was. I prefer to figure that out for myself. Anyhow, they missed the fact that Vazquez may have had his nose broken in the first, instead of later as they implied, especially when Vazquez was adamant about it not being broken in his previous fight. Both guys delivered some good shots in this one, with Marquez dominating the first two rounds. Continuing in the third, Vazquez delivers a knockdown out of nowhere. They traded lots of leather through the sixth, with Marquez winning those rounds. Then, after he delivered his best round of the fight, Vazquez quit on his stool after the seventh, because he couldn't breathe through the broken nose, and lost the title. It was a disappointing finish to a really good fight.

HBO offered up two bouts as well. In the opener, big puncher Edison Miranda took on Allan Green at Middleweight in a 10-rounder. This was a yawner for 7 rounds with Miranda getting the upper hand. Finally in the 8th, Merchant says, "Looks like Green wants to start to fight.". On cue, Green puts Miranda down. Hey, we now have a boxing match! Edison was hurt and he didn't really like that feeling. He pounded Green a lot in the 9th and put him down twice in the 10th. Lots of late action saved this one, with Miranda getting the decision.

In the main event, champ Miguel Cotto in front of the home fans in Puerto Rico, took on Oktay Urkal at Welterweight. Urkal kept leading with his head and butted Cotto numerous times, cutting him once, really disrupting Cotto's early dominance. This was one of the dreaded "Open Scoring" bouts, where official scores are revealed after the 4th and 8th rounds. It was announced Cotto was up 40-36 after four, and Lamps was dead on, as all the excitement left the building after the scores were posted. Cotto became increasingly frustrated with Urkal's tactics and coasted, albeit angrily, the rest of the fight. In the 11th, after a second point was deducted from Urkal for butting, Urkal's trainer threw in the towel. It was a shame, because Urkal deserved a finish. I thought Larry Merchant was perceptive here, setting aside the dominance of Cotto, because Urkal was hitting Cotto a lot, Cotto just delivered more. So, maybe he wasn't coasting, after all. It was a tough one to watch. I'm curious to see if this bout took something from Cotto, as his next fight is with Zab Judah (not a fan), the night before the Puerto Rican parade in NYC in June.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

After a night of imbibing, I believe I have stumbled upon one of the best end-of-evening foods I've had. And it didn't involve the Steak N'Shake drive-thru. You see, this new pizza joint opened up in Hudson. The dude from Pizza Bogo brought us some small samples yesterday, I had some tiny pieces of a Lenten Cheese. It was good.

But the best part was that everyone avoided the Bangkok (Heh heh heh hmm heh, he said "Bangkok"), so I was able to take it home. I'm tellin' ya, it looks weird on paper: Spicy Peanut Sauce, Mozzarella and Provolone Cheese, Roasted Red Pepper, Teriyaki Marinated Chicken Breast topped with Fresh Scallions & Lo Mein Noodles. Sort of like a Chinese dinner, but on a pizza. I inhaled it.

Meal of Links

Programming a TV network is so easy, even a Caveman can do it. I thought "Baby Bob" had ruined this genre.

A lengthy tome about John McCain. I think what hurts McCain these days is his age (he seems bored) and his popularity as "National Uncle". I think most would rather keep him in that role instead of becoming "National Patriarch".

Mick Jagger. Jeezy creezy.

Exercise Yard

Browns get off to a good start in free agancy with the signing of Eric Steinbach. Seth McKinney was in today, I believe.

Visitor

18 Down: Penultimate Austrian emperor (11 letters) Answer: Franz Joseph

Let me tell you a story about trying to cop some Police tickets. You see, I'm a Best Buy Reward Zone member (a "Reward Zoner" in their lingo) and kinda remembered that when The Police were announced for a July 16 concert, sponsored by the aforementioned Best Buy. This allowed me the right, with no guarantees, to purchase tickets on Wednesday at 10:00 a.m. by obtaining a code on Tuesday, which I did. My estimate is that they may have secured 100 tickets, 150 tops. The problem was there was a limit of two, and not one time when I tried for two was I successful. Oh, when I wanted just one, I got in with no trouble. That is, for about 20 minutes. Then it appeared there were no more to be had. My point is, tell me how many you have set aside and if you sell those out quickly, I won't mind. But don't trumpet that this is some great thing you're doing when you have shit available.

Meal of Links

While you took a white orchid and turned it blue, The White Stripes will have an album, "Icky Thump", out this year. Meg was quoted as saying the album was "finished", "musical in nature" and "good".

Stephen Hawking will take a zero-gravity flight. I know you want to, but don't laugh.

I finally saw "The Departed" on the big screen this evening. At the Parma Theatre. Jeezy creezy, I kept my coat on, because I didn't want to stick to anything. Love the musty smell, too. The movie was very good. Maybe it's the time lapse or massive publicity, but I honestly expected more. Not a great movie and probably not Scorsese's best, but at least he got one Oscar. As I said, it was very good, great cast and all. Not as violent as I thought it would be, the rebreaking of Leo's hand was the worst for me. Hey, you become immune to the head shots after a while.

Exercise Yard

The Tribe had their first spring training game today. Of course, we were tuned into 1100 to listen. It took Tom Hamilton only 37 minutes to bash the White Sox. Now, keep in mind I'm a fan. I think I heard the following on today's broadcast, but I'm not sure:

Tom Hamilton: "Mark Shapiro? We're so far up your ass, I can hear you, but I can't see you. Are you in the booth?"
Mark Shapiro: "I'm right here, Tom."
Hammy: "I've been impressed with our workouts so far and have, in fact, kept late October open for this year. I mean the national media doesn't think much of us, especially Peter Gammons, who I don't read and am totally misinformed about. I hate the White Sox, but I like our position, lying in the weeds. How does it look to you?"
Shapiro: "We felt with our rotation, the best in the business, that we needed to shore up the bullpen. So, I got a couple of geezers cheap."
Hammy: "I hate the White Sox. How's our ace doing?'
Shapiro: "Who's that, Captain Cheeseburger?"
Hammy: "Wow...I hate the White Sox. Hahahahahahahahaha!"
Shapiro: "C.C.'s a size 56, but he's not fat and we look for 12 wins from him this year. Don't forget he always faces the opponent's #1 starter, so we don't expect too much from him. Neither should you."
Hammy: "Boy, that Casey Blake's a fine player. I hate the White Sox."
Shapiro: "Many joke that Casey is a jack of all trades and a master of none. But he is."
Hammy: "I hate the White Sox. Hafner, Sizemore, Martinez...Wow, are they good."
Shapiro: "Sure they are, but I think the fans should pay their hard-earned money to see our other stars, such as J-Mike, David Dellucci, and Trot Nixon. They may be the future of our ballclub after we're gutted by free agency, and we need to cultivate an attachment to older players. BTW, we're scheduled to sign Manny in 2014. That's when he'll be Old Manny just being Old Manny, if you will."
Hammy: "Hahahahahahahahaha! Wow, I hate the White Sox."
Shapiro: "Jhonny Peralta's not fat and can see this year. It's amazing what you can do when you can see."
Hammy: "Trust me, Mark, it's dark right now, I hate the White Sox, but I can still speak in an unbiased fashion when it comes to the Tribe. What do you think of our inexperience at the infield corners. Have I mentioned I hate the White Sox?"
Shapiro: "Marte and Garko might be shaky, but we have Casey Blake available to back up at both positions. At least he tells me that, when I drive him to the ballpark every day."
Hammy: "I've noticed that new wrinkle this year."
Shapiro: "Casey at first?"
Hammy: "No, you chauffeuring Casey."
Shapiro: "Hey, anything to keep those pictures private, you know."
Hammy: "Wow. Hahahahahahahahaha! I hate the White Sox."
Shapiro: "Hey, I gotta go. I hear David Wells is available. He's old AND fat."
Hammy: "I hate the White Sox. Thanks to Mark Shapiro for swallowing my head anally. Where's Bobby D.? I can't stand the glare and we gotta sell some tickets."

Ah, but it's spring.

Visitor

34 Across: Country singer Lovett (4 letters) Answer: Lyle