Let me tell you a story about trying to cop some Police tickets. You see, I'm a Best Buy Reward Zone member (a "Reward Zoner" in their lingo) and kinda remembered that when The Police were announced for a July 16 concert, sponsored by the aforementioned Best Buy. This allowed me the right, with no guarantees, to purchase tickets on Wednesday at 10:00 a.m. by obtaining a code on Tuesday, which I did. My estimate is that they may have secured 100 tickets, 150 tops. The problem was there was a limit of two, and not one time when I tried for two was I successful. Oh, when I wanted just one, I got in with no trouble. That is, for about 20 minutes. Then it appeared there were no more to be had. My point is, tell me how many you have set aside and if you sell those out quickly, I won't mind. But don't trumpet that this is some great thing you're doing when you have shit available.

Meal of Links

While you took a white orchid and turned it blue, The White Stripes will have an album, "Icky Thump", out this year. Meg was quoted as saying the album was "finished", "musical in nature" and "good".

Stephen Hawking will take a zero-gravity flight. I know you want to, but don't laugh.

I finally saw "The Departed" on the big screen this evening. At the Parma Theatre. Jeezy creezy, I kept my coat on, because I didn't want to stick to anything. Love the musty smell, too. The movie was very good. Maybe it's the time lapse or massive publicity, but I honestly expected more. Not a great movie and probably not Scorsese's best, but at least he got one Oscar. As I said, it was very good, great cast and all. Not as violent as I thought it would be, the rebreaking of Leo's hand was the worst for me. Hey, you become immune to the head shots after a while.

Exercise Yard

The Tribe had their first spring training game today. Of course, we were tuned into 1100 to listen. It took Tom Hamilton only 37 minutes to bash the White Sox. Now, keep in mind I'm a fan. I think I heard the following on today's broadcast, but I'm not sure:

Tom Hamilton: "Mark Shapiro? We're so far up your ass, I can hear you, but I can't see you. Are you in the booth?"
Mark Shapiro: "I'm right here, Tom."
Hammy: "I've been impressed with our workouts so far and have, in fact, kept late October open for this year. I mean the national media doesn't think much of us, especially Peter Gammons, who I don't read and am totally misinformed about. I hate the White Sox, but I like our position, lying in the weeds. How does it look to you?"
Shapiro: "We felt with our rotation, the best in the business, that we needed to shore up the bullpen. So, I got a couple of geezers cheap."
Hammy: "I hate the White Sox. How's our ace doing?'
Shapiro: "Who's that, Captain Cheeseburger?"
Hammy: "Wow...I hate the White Sox. Hahahahahahahahaha!"
Shapiro: "C.C.'s a size 56, but he's not fat and we look for 12 wins from him this year. Don't forget he always faces the opponent's #1 starter, so we don't expect too much from him. Neither should you."
Hammy: "Boy, that Casey Blake's a fine player. I hate the White Sox."
Shapiro: "Many joke that Casey is a jack of all trades and a master of none. But he is."
Hammy: "I hate the White Sox. Hafner, Sizemore, Martinez...Wow, are they good."
Shapiro: "Sure they are, but I think the fans should pay their hard-earned money to see our other stars, such as J-Mike, David Dellucci, and Trot Nixon. They may be the future of our ballclub after we're gutted by free agency, and we need to cultivate an attachment to older players. BTW, we're scheduled to sign Manny in 2014. That's when he'll be Old Manny just being Old Manny, if you will."
Hammy: "Hahahahahahahahaha! Wow, I hate the White Sox."
Shapiro: "Jhonny Peralta's not fat and can see this year. It's amazing what you can do when you can see."
Hammy: "Trust me, Mark, it's dark right now, I hate the White Sox, but I can still speak in an unbiased fashion when it comes to the Tribe. What do you think of our inexperience at the infield corners. Have I mentioned I hate the White Sox?"
Shapiro: "Marte and Garko might be shaky, but we have Casey Blake available to back up at both positions. At least he tells me that, when I drive him to the ballpark every day."
Hammy: "I've noticed that new wrinkle this year."
Shapiro: "Casey at first?"
Hammy: "No, you chauffeuring Casey."
Shapiro: "Hey, anything to keep those pictures private, you know."
Hammy: "Wow. Hahahahahahahahaha! I hate the White Sox."
Shapiro: "Hey, I gotta go. I hear David Wells is available. He's old AND fat."
Hammy: "I hate the White Sox. Thanks to Mark Shapiro for swallowing my head anally. Where's Bobby D.? I can't stand the glare and we gotta sell some tickets."

Ah, but it's spring.

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34 Across: Country singer Lovett (4 letters) Answer: Lyle