Be prepared when a little kid says "Lift me!". Especially if they had not asked to do that recently. My niece asked...ordered...commanded me to do this yesterday and I had not done that in a while. Omigod, they grow so fast. Yes, I feel my back now. Gotta get me some Doan's Pills. Those were pretty smart pills, remember? They went right to your back to solve any back pain you had. They were not confused or distracted by any other aches and pains. Foot problems, take something else, my friend. Sore knees, hah, Doan's wouldn't go that low. Never! Now if I could wash those pills down with some Geritol, I'd be in business.

Meal of Links

Stock photos say a lot about the world. And most of it isn't pretty.

Action figures come in all shapes and sizes. Remember we just had the Bon Jovi ones announced a while back. Now we have action figures from "The Big Lebowski". "Mark it 8, dude."

VH1 Classic is a channel that you can visit at times and see some pretty cool stuff. They have changed the name of their clip show "The Alternative" to "120 Minutes", congering up images of that old MTV show. Here are the playlists from the new show. You have to admit, that is a list of videos that are pretty cool, but mostly forgotten by now. Here's one of them (BTW, not about a chick, but the sweetest song about heroin you'll ever hear):

"There She Goes"-The La's



Exercise Yard

The Cavs played a great stretch of offensive basketball in the last five minutes to finish a sweep of the Wizards tonight. Washington showed a lot of guts in this series and even though the Cavs won 4 in a row, they had to work for it. Thank God for Z. He hasn't produced like that in a long time, but he had 20 points and 19 rebounds. And it was beautiful to watch, hardly any mistakes down the stretch, and everyone contributed. On to the next round, where it's probably gonna be New Jersey.

Visitor

38 Across: Richard of "Pretty Woman" (4 letters) Answer: Gere

I had a fun weekend. Our friends, Mr. Mix and his wife, came up from Nashville. So, we spent the evening downtown doing, uh, I think it's called drinking. That was a marathon of fun.

Yesterday was the NFL Draft, so that took up most of the day. It was a rather odd start, because in the morning, my neighborhood was taken over by folks who wanted to see the Fulton Road Bridge implode. No kidding. 7:00 and there are people grabbing every available parking spot on my street and the surrounding side streets. Lots of traffic. I had to leave at 8:00, the scheduled implosion time. I found out later and was rather amused that they had problems blowing up the damn thing. Most of it, was still standing later in the day. I think Round Two is later this week.

I felt somewhat vindicated to read, for all the accompanying hubbub last year, that Cleveland hardly rates any frames in the new "Spiderman 3" movie. With all of the CG out there and no stars in town, I could not understand how "Hicksville" this place became last year. Never understood it. People thought they were gonna be in it, the city would be recognized, etc. Amazing.

Meal of Links

The Steelers have a mascot. Please, Randy Lerner, do not get any ideas. Oh, I know we have those stupid dogs down there like "Huddles", but they ain't no mascot of mine.

Two things that are worth watching. One is the current Bill Moyers program on PBS. Great look at the media and the run-up to the war. The other (and I'm a little late with this one) is the HBO special where they give an award to Jerry Seinfeld. Lots of funny stuff there.

The LA Times has a blog on the Phil Spector trial. Phil apparently likes firearms.

Exercise Yard

I don't know crap about cricket. But I do know the recently concluded Cricket World Cup was a disaster.

Visitor

None, it was a sunny Sunday.

Yeah, it's this guy again.






















Since it's the day of the NFL Draft, where to go, but Paul's? It's the annual ritual where the Browns select their next subjects to torment me. I, once again, took heat for saying I think Jessica Simpson is so stupid, I wouldn't have sex with her. Although I thought my best line was regarding "National Bingo Night". My brother said this was on ABC in a few weeks. My question was, "Do we get to play?". He said we could play along at home. I said that was good. Paul suggested, "Maybe you could get that machine at home. Put your balls in a cage and spin them around." I said, "I don't need Bingo to do that."

But the phrase you will hear about the Browns for the next couple of years is "a steep price to pay". You see, we picked Joe Thomas at number three. I'm sensing this is as solid a pick as they could have made. A left tackle for God's sake. Last time they took a first round tackle was Bob McKay...in 1970! Then Brady Quinn, the Notre Dame QB, kept dropping and dropping and dropped some more. STO was supposed to have a Phil Savage presser after the first pick, but we noticed he wasn't coming on. Then we figured out, hey, he must be trying to trade up to get Quinn. He finally found a dance partner with Dallas at number 22. But we had to give them next year's number one pick. Uh-oh. We certainly overpaid with the pick, but saved cap space getting Quinn that low. Last year's #22 signed for five years, $8.5 million. Overall, to get Thomas and Quinn was a coup for the organization, but they must win immediately.

The Browns also picked a guy with the dreaded "character issues", Eric Wright from UNLV. A corner they desperately needed. Draft grade at this moment: A. Good day to be a Browns fan. So much so, their website died.

The strange thing about today was GM Phil Savage sounding in Paul's words, "delirious". He appeared to be a guy who was not too happy with his job. He went on an unprovoked rant about JaMarcus Russell and how unfair media types were to him. Huh? The guy was still picked at number one and to be honest, I never thought the media was that harsh on him. I know Savage has known Russell for a while, but he seemed to talk more about him, than our other picks. Sheesh. He also commented about a lack of a first-rounder next year, and said that he deserved "some time off". What? It sounded to me like the pressure has got to the guy.

Meal of Links

Speaking of balls, I mean, you see this headline, you have to read the story, right? Good TMZ.

Hey, a DC sex scandal. A Sweeps Month special.

Should this guy be our next President? It'll never happen.

Exercise Yard

Paul Silas will be interviewing for the Charlotte Bobcats coaching job next week. He'll probably be seeing you next Tuesday.

Visitor

48 Down: Pitching great Carlton (5 letters) Answer: Steve

It's Coachella this weekend. Be sure to check out the live Internet broadcast. It is very cool. Look for the Rage Against The Machine reunion on Sunday. And Robert Hilburn checks in with his favorite Coachella moments.

Meal of Links

It's FHM's 100 Sexiest Women. Katharine McPhee is number 2? Absolutely insane. And how was Gisele Bundchen #83 last year? Did the blind have a vote last year? Good to see Jessica Biel is #6 with a bullet. Salma and her Hayeks are #18. I need more time to study this like the NFL Draft.

Here is what a 300-calorie meal looks like. I have never seen many of these. Omigod, look at that turkey bacon. It looks fake to me.

This guy must really love his soccer. Thank you, Time-Warner Cable. And get Setanta Sports on there, while you're dawdling. I'll pay extra.

Exercise Yard

The Glazers raise prices again for Manchester United tickets. Fans are upset.

One good thing about Randy Lerner is the Browns suck and there are years, like this one, that he didn't raise prices. It's still a painful check to write, however. That's why if the Browns draft a quarterback this year in Round One (and it could be the right move), I'm afraid it's 2 more years of losing while this guy figures out how to play.

If that happens, that scream you hear around 12:50 on Saturday is me.

Visitor

15 Across: Athenian lawgiver (5 letters) Answer: Solon

While waiting for the NFL Draft on Saturday, which is essentially watching NFL types on the phone for six hours...

What the hell was going on at the end of that Cavs game this evening? Jeepers. The Wizards were really hanging tough. Just as their coach, Eddie Jordan, once said, "You gotta harvest your nuts right now, man." OK, we really have no idea what that means, but I think it's appropriate how they played tonight. They never gave up.

Sadly, for them, that's probably how the series is gonna go. Maybe they'll win one game, if Jamison goes for a big number. But the Cavs had a really solid game from an unlikely source, Drew Gooden, and that might be the theme for the series. Share the wealth. Cavs up, 2-0, and on to DC on Saturday.

Meal of Links

Yup, he's my congressman. Did I mention we now have newly placed gigundus telephone poles in my neighborhood? At least twice as high as the old ones? Is that his next press conference? Got wood?

How to prepare for an alien invasion. I'm going to find the nearest major Hollywood star and hang around them. They seem to make it through OK and there is always some unknown who tags along. That could be me.

Irish kids can't spell. They can text up a storm, which leads to the bad spelling. This year's Spelling Bee in the States is May 31 in prime time, of course.

Exercise Yard

Omar Vizquel turned 40 yesterday. He'll be a free agent again at the end of the year. You don't think he'd come here, naw, can't be. Could he?

Visitor

50 Down: Dance thought to be named for an aviator (5 letters) Answer: Lindy

Because traffic was horrendous this morning on the way in to work (I had to use Brookpark as an alternate and the Union House was tempting me with that neon red "OPEN" sign), it afforded me the opportunity to listen to a lot more music because of the travel time. So, here is a short list of some newer stuff (could even be months old, I don't care) that I like.

"Lazy Eye"/Silversun Pickups
"Rehab"/Amy Winehouse
"Into Action"/Tim Armstrong (the most oddly infectious song of the year)
"Flathead"/The Fratellis
"Punkrocker"/Teddybears (with Iggy)
"Hey There Delilah"/Plain White T's (Schlocky, but I like it)
"Hang Me Up to Dry"/Cold War Kids
"Don't Give Up"/Noisettes
"Traffic and Weather"/Fountains of Wayne
"A Love That's Simple"/Roxanne Potvin

Meal of Links

More music. Here is Arcade Fire performing in a freight elevator. The concept of these "Take Away Shows" is pretty amazing.

Poor Rich Little. He sucked. Harry Shearer said he got a walking ovation.

15 things said better by Kurt Vonnegut than anyone else. To lose him and David Halberstam around the same time is rather shocking. Halberstam's "The Breaks of the Game" remains one of the top sports books (#17 on SI's 2002 top 100 list) ever written.

Exercise Yard

A look back at baseball players who wore glasses. Several styles. Horace Speed nowhere to be found. The modern player does take care of his eyes.

Visitor

60 Down: Filmmaker Craven (3 letters) Answer: Wes

Since it was such a nice day, I thought it would be a good day to use the DVR for today's Cavs game and additionally watch Randy Lerner's other team, Aston Villa, in the EPL. In typical fashion, the Villans played to another draw, this time 0-0 at home against Portsmouth. I guess a 0-0 match could be exciting, but not this one. Aston Villa, BTW, is going to tour the US in a small way during the last week of July. I am sorta puzzled, because I keep hearing Columbus, not Cleveland, as a stop.

The Cavs were rightfully drilled by the TNT team after a fairly dull first half. But, they took care of business in fairly workmanlike fashion. They beat Washington, 97-82. Big scare when LeBron rolled his left ankle. I've seen him do that before and continue to play, but this one looked bad. But he got up and eventually made some big plays later on. The Cavs are in a tough spot when they win by 15 and people demand more. Let's hope they get through this series quickly.

Meal of Links

Now you can get a robe like Toby from "The Office". Does anyone even wear robes anymore? When I get the paper, if it isn't stolen, I usually get it with a hop, skip and a jump and don't need a robe.

TV series on the bubble. I'd probably watch more of these, but there are reasons they are on the bubble.

Women love this dude. And he's an archaeologist. His show must be on the bubble, I've never seen it.

Exercise Yard

Long goals are always cool. This time it's Diego from Werder Bremen in the Bundesliga.



Visitor

None, it was a sunny Sunday.

"Sunshine came slowly through my a-window today."

Finally, a return to a warm, sunny day on a weekend that was missing for about three weeks, and before that, oh what, five months? The good news is my lawn no longer has bedhead. Nope, it now has cornrows. I hate mowing in the p.m., so I tried to get it done in the morning. You know when it's wet and the wheels stomp down that grass and it doesn't get trimmed enough under those paths? You get cornrows. Bah! It started off poorly, as I didn't have any gas for the mower. Doh! Thought I had some, didn't check. And because it had been warmer (above 50) and sunny for a couple of days, thought it might have been dry. Not a chance. So, that was a struggle. Major mower clogging.

But that wasn't the main angry point today. Nope, that was saved for a trip to Skyline Chili. I hadn't eaten anything all day and had a real hankering for their food this week, so I finally stopped in. Oh, I had no problem with the food or the help. It was this damn kid behind me. This Dad, who's trying to take the kids out for some food, is saddled with this kind of youngster. This kid kept saying, "Dad, I want a chilito.". OK, sounds innocent enough. But it was the way he said it. He kept saying it like this, "Chee-lee-to." as if he were Hispanic. He kept saying it in an annoying way like Kirk Gimenez of ESPNews. You know, the dude that rolls his r's every time a Hispanic player highlight is shown. Or calls Carlos Beltran, "Carlos Bel-tron", to emphasize the Spanish.

Anyhow, this kid was beyond annoying and he would not shut up about that chilito. I hope it was cold.

Meal of Links

My Dad and I went to the Happy Dog last night and Gale joined us later during Polka Happy Hour. What did I learn last night? My Dad still loves those polkas. Within seconds he's tapping his fingers on the table and has that air accordion going. It's a fun time, because it's difficult to bring sad subject matter to a polka. I think the roughest lyric last night may have been "...table for two, one seat for me, the other for memories of you...". That's about as sad as it gets. But the crowd was very disappointing. I understand it was the nicest Friday of the year, but the crowd was non-existent. Have to see what it's like next time, during the summer. First time for the pierogis there and my Dad, noted pierogi maker, gave them the thumbs up. They were good.

"WKRP in Cincinnati", a great show. "WKRP in Cincinnati, a not-so-great DVD. You knew music clearance was a big issue for DVD release, I guess we didn't how much.

"Ten Reasons You're Not a Billionaire". Yep, no vacations and less sleep and you're on your way. What a load of hooey. Hey, I don't conduct meetings during 18 holes on a golf course I own. Otherwise, I might buy into that no vacation stuff.

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They still hate Vince Carter in Toronto. But the Nets still won today.

Visitor

37 Across: Racing family name (8 letters) Answer: Maserati

I've come to the conclusion that this is probably the latest I've gone in spring without starting to mow the loan. I'm betting on another clear day tomorrow to continue to dry things out. Then Saturday comes and the dreaded mowing chore gets back on the schedule. The lawn right now looks like it has a severe case of "bedhead" or "hat hair". Kind of like US Open rough.

So, I started to do some lawn prep like charging the old Grasshog up. I have to make sure I also have gas for the mower. My mower is not a Deere and it certainly does not run like one, but it gets the job done. I'd like to think everyone will be out this week doing that.

Meal of Links

The jury has been selected in the Phil Spector trial. I'm interested to see how widespread the coverage is on this.

Here is Patti Smith's version of "Smells Like Teen Spirit". You can actually discern the lyrics on this cover, so take a listen if you've never understood "...a mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido...". Overall, not so bad, and she still adds her own narrative in there, too.

Anthony Bourdain skewers the "The Food Network Awards". I cannot recall the last time I saw the term "whale shit" used in a review.

Exercise Yard

That was tough to watch.















Did you see the 16 Minutes of Hell that concluded the Indians game today? We had the broadcast on at work and could not believe it. I just saw the replay on STO and could not believe it. The Indians were leading 6-2 in the bottom of the ninth. Closer Joe Borowski comes on. Uh-oh. Joe already has an ERA of over 5.00. He also claims he is not like Bob Wickman, but his results are very reminiscent of the Wicky Wicky One.

Here's how I saw it. He gets the first out rather easily. Melky Cabrera fouls off a bunch of pitches in his at-bat, before grounding to short. I'd say he saw 10 pitches. Borowski basically gets lazy and throws Josh Phelps a room service fastball and he smacks a homer, 6-3. I now realize Borowski's fastball today has no movement, straight as an arrow, and he can't throw the breaking ball consistently for strikes. Double uh-oh. Let's see if he can get out of this with the crap he's been throwing. Jorge Posada lines one near Borowski's head for a single. Ouch.

He then walks Johnny Damon. That brings up Derek Jeter and he singles. The score is now 6-4. Very uncomfortable. Carl Willis, the pitching coach visits the mound around this time, so I guess they did try to delay the inevitable. The next batter is Bobby Abreu. He notices Jhonny Peralta is cheating up the middle, so he lines a single through the hole at short, Damon comes in, and now it's 6-5. Sheesh.

A-Rod comes up. He's done nothing all day, but is swinging a hot bat. First pitch to the backstop. First base now open. Do you now walk him and pitch to Giambi? Waiting...waiting...nope. They'll pitch to him. Borowski throws him another crap fastball down the middle. Tom Hamilton did no justice to this homer on the radio. It was a no-doubter as soon as A-Rod swung, he even flipped the bat and raised his arms immediately. And he absolutely crushed this ball deep to just left of center. Not even close to being caught. Ballgame! Yanks win, 8-6. Enter this into the pantheon of closers blowing games for the Indians. Easily in the top 5 of all time. Borowski threw 31 pitches, gave up two homers, three singles, a walk and tossed a wild pitch. He leaves New York with an ERA of 13.50.

Remember that old film clip of that guy getting hit in the stomach with a cannonball? That's how Victor Martinez looked after the game, as if he had taken that blow to the solar plexus. Will it have a lingering effect? I don't know, we play Tampa Bay next. That might be good medicine.

Visitor

35 Across: "Here Come the Warm Jets" composer (3 letters) Answer: Eno

What's all this I hear about no more lap dances in Ohio? I don't frequent these places, but how does a bill like that get passed when everyone thinks it's terrible legislation. Oh, it's the fear of being attacked by conservative groups and losing that campaign money. Now I get it.

The better news, dare I say, the great news is the Cavs get the number 2 seed! Against the injury-depleted Washington Wizards. What a day, we thought we would get Miami in Round One and now we don't. Beautiful.

Meal of Links

This guy always writes the best "Idol" recaps. I never have to watch.

Hey, peoples, 420 is Friday. Therefore, a history lesson.

They've already heard "Icky Thump" in the UK. I've heard the White Stripes will be touring in 16 states they've never played before in the summer. Then things get serious (meaning they better show up here) in the fall.

Exercise Yard

Did you happen to hear Uncle Charlie Manuel go off on that Philly radio guy yesterday? "I've been growed up..." may be my new favorite line of his. I kinda like the fact he referred to himself as "Look, there’s Good-Time Charlie, or Take-it-Easy Charlie, Laidback Charlie, Uncle Charlie, Grandpa Charlie..."

Visitor

22 Down: Queen of Talk (5 letters) Answer: Oprah

The Virginia Tech shootings are just so sad to deal with. The number 33 sounds like a fairly insignificant number on its own, but when you read the backgrounds of every one of those people and see their photos, it's just heart-wrenching. I've really come to hate that phrase, "wrong place at the wrong time".

I mean, what is so wrong about going to class on a Monday morning? You never expect a madman to show up and start offing people. It's a quite insane thing to even comprehend. I'm disturbed by the blame being tossed at the authorities and I suppose that's somewhat natural. The killer is dead and there's really no one left to blame, so you have all of this anger and sadness and you have to direct it at someone. And I guess the authorities provide an easy target. But let's face it, without any precedent out there, there is no handbook to follow. Unfortunately, it's a scenario that will be cited by the campus security forces henceforth.

Meal of Links

These things always crack me up. It's the difference between how fast food looks in ads and what they actually serve you.

I haven't seen "24" in a while. It appears Jack Bauer has gone daft.

Damn. Pearl is funnier than Will Ferrell in this clip.



Exercise Yard

What sports guy do you drink like? I'm not sure I fit any of these, because of shots and drinking games. I think I'm most like the first sentence of the Tiger Woods description, "A completely unstoppable drinker, as well as a lone drinker. He will sit by himself at the end of the bar and drink more than you, faster than you, for a longer amount of time than you, and still be more sober than you at the end of the night."

Visitor

31 Across: Assumed family name in punk rock (6 letters) Answer: Ramone

Since the NFL Draft looms in less than two weeks, I thought I would get cracking on the Michael Lewis book, "The Blind Side". I only got the book for Christmas. Anyhow, it is the story of how left tackle has become the second highest average paid position, behind quarterback, in the NFL. It closely follows the fascinating life of Michael Oher, currently playing tackle at Ole Miss.

It is a great read and I recommend it highly. It is on par with "Moneyball", the baseball masterpiece from Lewis.

Meal of Links

Do you know someone besides Leo, who was on the Titanic? Now you can find out all about them.

Kurt Vonnegut died this past week. I like how he finished a short stint at Sports Illustrated.

If you wanna see that Ray Liotta movie, "Slow Burn", run. It bombed. I saw the previews and decided it may be the most WTF movie released this year. BTW, this is another one that sat on the shelf. From 2003, for cryin' out loud. April is becoming the new August or maybe the old January.

Exercise Yard















So, it's finally Chelsea and Manchester United to open up the new Wembley Stadium for the FA Cup on May 19. Must find someone willing to serve alcohol and show soccer at 10:00 a.m. on a Saturday.

Visitor

None, it's a Sunday without snow.

Gale and I went to the Faux Opening Day last night at Jacobs Field. Joe the Scalper hooked us up with two tickets in 156 for $40 a pop. Not bad. The damn scoreboard did not work for most of the evening, as far as batter, average, balls, strikes, etc. Very frustrating. But we picked up schedule magnets.

New things this year:

In upper right field, there are pennants for each World Series win, each A.L. title, and every other playoff appearance. Uh, not that many.

Beer is now $7.00. But it's a 24-ouncer. I like beer, but on a hot day, geez, that's a lot to drink quickly before it gets warm.

There is a Guinness stand with Guinness and Smithwick's drafts. I believe those were $7.00 a pint.

Grilled hot dogs at each concession stand. Some kosher ones, too. Ours were OK, but back to Rabbi Feldman's stand in left field for grilled onions.

New popcorn. A local brand called Jenny's. Not bad.

The condiment stands now have Kernel Seasonings, my favorite popcorn sprinkly stuff. They had Nacho Cheddar, Butter, and White Cheddar flavors at the location we noticed.

Welcome to the age of technology. You can now send text messages that will appear on the scoreboard. You can also send photos and they are displayed, as well.

There are now hot chocolate vendors and that sells for $3.00 a cup.

Some things remain though, like dissing Casey Blake.

Meal of Links

Saw "The Hoax" today. This was loosely based on Clifford Irving's fake autobiography of Howard Hughes. This was big news in the early 70's because of Hughes. Hughes was such a recluse in those days, but was in the news a lot. Comedians joked about him, and by God, he was a germophobe, had long hair and even longer fingernails it seemed. Or, at least, that's what we are told.

Richard Gere and especially Alfred Molina are good in this, but the story kind of craps out a little at the end. I think Irving was probably a better con in real life, although in this movie he was really good. There are some definite stretches, though it appears. Molina's character was never really coaxed into staying on the project as Irving's partner. They lived in Spain, not New York state. And so on. They threw out something that might be a canard, someone else had printed excerpts of a purported Hughes autobiography at the same time, and I don't recall that. Some of the suggestions the movie proffers about Hughes and Nixon and Watergate seem like a stretch, but may be true. Although I think Irving's conviction date as the same date of the Watergate break-in is purely coincidental, it fuels the fire. But with the rest of the poetic license taken, what sticks in people's minds may be the false stuff. It's a great hoax, one of the more public ones ever, why make it up? Entertaining film, nonetheless. One of the few that sits on the shelf for a while that makes you wonder why that happened.

I gots me a new HD channel, Universal HD. OK, it just popped on yesterday, but "Manhunter" was on and I had to watch the end of it when I got home from the Tribe game. I guess this is the Universal library with a combination of movies, series and sports. Hey, reruns of "The Equalizer"!

Tim Goodman writes about "The Riches". I have hung in there with this show and I like it very much. But he is spot on with his commentary.

Exercise Yard

The 2007 Browns schedule is out and I'm not sure I like it. The first three home games are against divisional foes. Normally that would be good, but remember, we sorta suck. So, we may be out of any divisional tiebreakers one month in. That makes for a lo-o-o-o-o-ong season. Of course, that's why they actually play the games.

Thoughts:

The Browns also opted for the first two exhibition games to be played at home. On consecutive Saturdays. That's a good thing, as Games 3 and 4 have really lost their luster over the years.

Three road games at 4:00 makes for late Bloody Marys.

Five of the first eight games are at home. Probably good to avoid bad weather. But that means five of the LAST eight are on the road. Including two four o'clockers against the Cardinals and Jets.

No holiday conflicts this year.

Visitor

15 Across: Red Serge uniform wearer (7 letters) Answer: Mountie

I really am astonished at how quickly the I-Man got the boot from radio. Maybe not the fact he got canned, but at how fast it happened. It is a mystery to me. Jason Whitlock summed it up for a lot of people with his column yesterday.

Like I said, Imus has probably had worse comments on his show throughout the years and why this one stuck, I would imagine, mystifies him more than anything. I listened a little bit to friends of Imus, Opie & Anthony, this morning. Because it's pay radio on XM, you hear tons of F-bombs and shit and other words. I'm stumped by the whole thing.

Meal of Links

You can write your own movie starring Will Ferrell. There may be some legitimate hits in there.

Great Lakes Brewing nabs two places in the 25 Best Beers in America. And Ommegang Hennepin made it, as well.

"Life on Mars" gets a sequel. And a US treatment of the original. Good BBC series.

Exercise Yard

The unfunny "Family Circus" comic becomes funny. And an excellent Tim Couch panel, BTW.

Visitor

56 Down: Boxer Spinks (4 letters) Answer: Leon

Over the years, I have rarely listened to NPR. So, I missed the glory days with Bob Edwards in the morning. But, I must say, I find myself drifting more and more to his XM show and he's got some interesting topics.

Yesterday, he interviewed an author who wrote a book on the history of the lie detector. I thought it cool that that guy played himself in the movie "Call Northside 777" with Jimmy Stewart. Well, he played himself testing a guy, it's not like he was the star or anything.

Meal of Links

The Webby Awards nominees for 2007 are announced. Good opportunity to visit some sites you may not be familiar with. And, of course, winner's speeches are limited to five words.

I haven't watched Don Imus much lately, but this is not the first time he's said something not very nice. I recall several years ago when people really got on him for having whites imitate black voices. As a strange mea culpa, all of a sudden Clarence Page is doing a guest spot and he brought on the two guys who did "Snaps" for a time. Then he went back to his regular shtick. Why this comment at this time got him into hot water, I have no idea. I imagine the show gets dialed down a bit for a time after he serves the suspension.

Could Tom Hanks bank $110 million for "Angels and Demons"? Hopefully, he has better hair in this one. Keep 12/19/2008 open for the debut.

Exercise Yard

A reminder that, yes, Roger Clemens may have been on Performance Enhancing Drugs. It is amazing Bonds gets all the heat, but Roger escapes with minimal scrutiny. No question, it's a black-white, slugger-pitcher issue. I don't know how many people insist a pitcher can't take steroids. Idiots.

Visitor

29 Across: Journalist Nellie (3 letters) Answer: Bly

Is anyone else mystified at the bad box office of "Grindhouse"? Let's see, take a rare genre with lots of violent, misogynistic behavior, make it last over three hours, then wonder why it doesn't play well.

Boyfriend replaces girlfriend's artificial leg with a machine gun. Admittedly, that looked pretty cool, but that was what I got from the trailer. That's the price the studio pays for allowing Rodriguez and Tarantino to do what they want.

Meal of Links

We are Number 59. The World's Top 100 Most Livable Cities are revealed and we are in the Top 60. Suck on that, Hong Kong.

Andy Richter gets hosed again! Unbelievable. Unlike Sally Field, I guess people really don't like him. He has a cameo in "Blades of Glory" though to keep him happy, I guess.

Speaking of TV work stoppages, here are 13 shows that should have never been cancelled. I didn't watch all of these, but some, oh boy, were they good. Of course, I am a huge fan of (duh!) "Andy Richter Controls the Universe" and I'm glad HDNet is running these again. "Dead Like Me" is the only time outside of "Princess Bride" I think I've liked Mandy Patinkin. "Brisco County" was very good because of Bruce Campbell. Last, but not least, is "Arrested Development" which still makes me laugh out loud.

Exercise Yard

Before we bash MLB and rightfully so I might add, on the Indians-Angels series moving to Milwaukee, let's hear what the Tribe brass has to say. It seems to me they did not fight to keep the series here, instead opting to have the games played anywhere just so they are played. I think the Indians are hiding behind the cloak of MLB, because it is abhorrent to think they would give up home games so easily because of weak, ineffective ownership.

The Angels deserve blame as well for not switching the May series played here, because they would have to fly to Boston after a Thursday night home game. So, everyone suffers. What could attendance be at these Milwaukee games, a couple of thousand?

And the Tribe's front office must take the blame for totally botching snow removal. Call the Browns and ask how they do it. We still have snow on the ground, but it has been melting since Sunday afternoon and I think the field would be ready for a Tuesday night game with professionals removing the snow. I don't want to hear fan comfort and player safety issues mentioned as reasons for the move, because where was that reasoning last Friday? Can you tell I had tickets for Tuesday's game?

Visitor

49 Across: "The Mountain, New Mexico" artist (14 letters) Answer: Georgia O'Keeffe

What a nice weekend to watch the Masters. Only waves of snow to interrupt the proceedings. I'm bullish on Tiger, so it was a frustrating thing to watch. He only seemed to pick it up when he broke his club, while swinging on 11. Good eagle on 13, but big time birdie misses on 14 1nd 16 killed him.

So, Zach Johnson wins and according to CBS, I'll be watching him win many times from here on out. OK, whatever. And thank goodness, Jesus helped another player win. He apparently was rooting against everyone else. The highlight for me was when FIGJAM took a 7 on the first hole, so we didn't have to put up with him on his way to +11 for the tournament. Or toonament as they say at Augusta. As in, "Tigah, we don't take kindly to anyone expectoratin' on ah pristine toonament grounds." I think I saw him spittin' a whole lot this week, at least not in the cup a la Sergio Gargia.

The guy with the best 72-hole scorecard had to be Padraig Harrington, because of all the colors. For 72 holes, he had 38 pars, 15 birdies, an eagle, 15 bogeys, 2 double bogeys and a triple bogey for a +5 score for the event. He birdied the tough 17th hole twice, but bogeyed the par 3 fourth hole three out of four rounds. On the par 5 fifteenth hole, he went 8-4-7-6, offsetting his 4-5-4-3 on the par 5 thirteenth. He definitely got his money's worth.

Meal of Links

Checking in with Robyn Hitchcock. If you haven't listened to any of his music, get some.

You know, somebody has to stay on Alcatraz after dark. I think it would be cool. Maybe once.

Christmas can't come early enough. Bon Jovi action figures. You know, they give love a bad name. Bad name.

Exercise Yard

Luc Longley was not that great on the basketball court. But he saved his family during a fire in his home, and that's what really matters.

Visitor

None, it's Easter Sunday.

Thoughts on the Opening Day That Wasn't:













The Indians need to take much of the blame for this fiasco. I've seen baseball for a lot of years and clearly that was the coldest day with the lowest wind chills for a game that was attempted to play locally. I realize many factors played a part, mainly that this was Seattle's only trip in. But I drove down with my Dad at 1:30 and it was amazing how much snow was flying down there. The game was to start at 4:00, but it looked in doubt even at that time. We had pretty much decided in an executive decision beforehand that we wouldn't go in. A parking spot on the street by a two-hour meter pretty much clinched that one. Imagine that, $3 to park on Opening Day. So, we headed over to Alesci's.

Which was packed. So, we hung around and waited for the Budweiser Clydesdales, who delivered beer throughout Gateway. I petted one of them illegally. I got the "Sir, you're not allowed to pet the horses." line. But I got a picture with them as my Dad pulled a Richard Avedon and went snap-happy. In the interim, I drank many beers. The snow stopped significantly maybe twice during that span.

We then heard the game was pushed back to 5:00. This was a bad decision. They should have tossed the pre-game ceremonies into the trash and started at least 30 minutes earlier. So, I don't wanna hear they tried everything they could. They clearly didn't.

You knew it was trouble after the first inning with 26-minute and a 17-minute delays. Gale joined us after another inning because of some work issues and we see the Indians get a 4-0 lead. Oh, we lost our catcher. I'm not sure if the cold was to blame, but Victor Martinez strained a quad muscle. It looked like it hurt. Blame the cold.

We decided to leave after the fourth. Then the snow started up again. Old friend Mike Hargrove sets aside his taco snacks and pulls a great managerial stunt out of the Spalding Guide and starts a filibuster about the snow falling and that his hitters can't see. Any manager would have done this. This is after Paul Byrd loads the bases with walks, gets two outs, and has two strikes on the hitter. One more strike and the game is official. That's when Hargrove goes out. After several minutes, while the snow gets worse, the umpires relent and the game is delayed again. The odd thing is at this time we are driving on I-490, two miles to the south, and it is not snowing there. After an hour and 17 minutes, the game was mercifully postponed. Paul Byrd's quite the redass as he had not given up any hits and claimed Seattle was "celebrating" after the postponement. They even called a team meeting afterward.

This attempt at a game joins the Opening Day lore of the snowout game several years ago when they actually postponed it in the morning. The game a few years ago when it was the coldest baseball game I'd ever attended up that point. And the mid-70s game where you could throw snowballs at the Milwaukee Brewers.

So the game was rescheduled for today, when I had to actually shovel snow this morning. Obviously, both games today were cancelled. BTW, in Seattle, it was 78 degrees yesterday. Keep in mind that next year, the Indians want to open at home on the first Monday of the season.

Meal of Links

During the snow around Noon today, I spent time with the younger set, Shaun and Kevin, and we took in the new Will Ferrell classic, "Blades of Glory" at Crocker Park. If you like Will Ferrell, this is a must see. He stars as Chazz Michael Michaels, the only three-time skating medalist and adult film star, who feuds with Jon Heder's character, Jimmy MacElroy. After they are both banned from men's skating, they make a comeback in pairs skating.

Ferrell is typically funny and has an ode to his Italian hairbrush that I could not stop laughing at. Of course, he's half naked at one point and tells MacElroy to "drink it in." Another time with Nancy Kerrigan, "Are you an official? Because you've officially given me a boner." Spot on commentary from Jim Lampley and Scott Hamilton. Lamps especially with, "He puts the "bone" in Zamboni." and "They have captivated this crowd much like a stack of classic Euro porn."

Other highlights were funny "Up Close and Personal"s of the skaters, William Fichtner as an eccentric billionaire and MacElroy's adoptive father, Ferrell saying Louis Armstrong walked on the moon, Craig T. Nelson as the skating coach who takes the wraps off the feared "Iron Lotus" move and gives it to Michaels and MacElroy. Amy Poehler and Will Arnett are good as rival skaters and the one who probably had the least impact on the movie was Jenna Fischer, in a rather ho-hum role.

The reasons that Sanjaya remains on "Idol". I still don't get if this guy is so bad, how did he make it to the Finals in the first place?

YouTube gets into politics with CitizenTube. Seems like a good idea. Probably a place to find some nutjobs, as well.

Exercise Yard

Once again, HBO and Showtime had boxing on the same day, HBO did us a favor and showed the Calzaghe-Manfredo fight at 5:00. Not much of a 168-lb. match here. Joe Calzaghe whipped up on Peter Manfredo, aka "the guy from "The Contender", in a three-round affair. Manfredo was simply outclassed as he could not keep up with Calzaghe's hand speed. Oh, it was a quick stoppage as the fight was on Calzaghe's home turf of Cardiff, Wales. Third round and Manfredo hadn't even hit the canvas. Yet. But the ref saved us from the inevitable and stopped it quick. Calzaghe now 21-0 in title defenses.

Showtime had a rather interesting non-title fight between Diego Corrales and Joshua Clottey. Corrales was leaping two weight classes to take on Clottey at 147 in the fighting mecca of Springfield, MO. Of course, both men failed to make weight. What the hell is going on with this sport when it comes to making weight? Corrales comes in at 149, Clottey first at 151, then two hours later at 149. Game on. Clottey almost threw a shutout as he dominated the action. Corrales was game, but never hurt Clottey. It was an active fight and that's all you can ask. It may be the end of the line for Corrales, who has been coming up short a lot lately.

Visitor

3 Down: 2007 International Tennis Hall of Fame inductee (7 letters) Answer: Sampras

National Anthems

Hey, it's Opening Day! To keep the light mood going, here is an old favorite. Rick Moranis concluding another broadcast day on SCTV. As Mel Torme. I honestly cannot stop laughing each time I see this.

Rick Moranis as Mel Torme on SCTV

You would think it's spring by seeing Casey Blake, once again, get thrown out on a hit-and-run. But, no.

Normally, weather is weather in this area. You just have to roll with it. Sure it's on each news broadcast at the beginning, middle and end. But ignore it and deal. And we've always had wild temperature swings. But to go from 80 degrees two days ago to a whiteout while driving home today, I thought that a bit extreme. Looks like an excellent weekend for Opening Day and watching The Masters.

Well, not so much Opening Day, as that is played outside.

Meal of Links

Rashida Jones talks about "The Office". Good to see Ed Helms back this evening.

What it takes to become a modern programmer. More art than science, it appears.

An interesting twist on what to with old CD spindles. I think it'd work.

National Anthems

This is uber-cool. Marvin Gaye, in his "Sexual Healing" days, singing the "Star-Spangled Banner". I sometimes think about Marvin and what a great singer he was. Then I think of how, at times, he wouldn't pay his band. And with the anniversary coming soon, I am always reminded of how he died. Shot. On a Sunday. By his Dad. Who was a man of the cloth. You have to really drive someone like that to the edge to have them kill ya.

Marvin Gaye at the NBA All-Star Game



Exercise Yard

And you thought people loved Michigan football. Here is a intriguing breakdown of new basketball coach John Beilein's 1-3-1 zone defense. Gives up lots of 2-pointers and offensive rebounds.

Visitor

5 Across: "Rocky" composer Bill (5 letters) Answer: Conti

"A tradition unlike any other" starts tomorrow. Yup, it's the Masters. You know how CBS always goes the nostalgic route before these telecasts with some sort of trip down golfing memory lane? The look back at Nicklaus' '86 win or the life of Bobby Jones. This week they are showing a colorized version of the broadcast of Arnold Palmer's 1960 win. The freaky part is that they colorized it. I thought the public had pretty much dissed that technology.

Hopefully, they do mention during the re-broadcast that it is, indeed, a colorized version.

Meal of Links

If you feel YouTube doesn't give you enough, try these sites. I'm sure the copyright police are onto them.

Yesterday's headline in the LA Times was "Keith Richards snorted his Dad". I thought that odd, but did not read the text until today. Turns out he was joking. At least that's what they are saying now. I guess that's the beauty of the joke, I didn't even bat an eye.

Beware diets. They don't work. Aw, hell, let's prove them wrong.

National Anthems

Here's a different one. You invite Huey Lewis and the News onto your TV show. They accept. Then they sing the "Star-Spangled Banner". Did I mention the show is in Japan? Very strange.

Huey Lewis on Japanese TV



Exercise Yard

Derek Zumsteg has written a book called "The Cheater's Guide to Baseball". It appears that while watching the Angels this year, Francisco Rodriguez is doctoring the baseball. Good stuff.

Visitor

52 Across: "The Cider House Rules" author (10 letters) Answer: John Irving

Time to look at the Tribe's chances in 2007. Let's not get all excited after Game One (Grady Sizemore made Spring Training look important, didn't he?), but we need to gaze realistically into the crystal ball.

No question, the strength of the team is starting pitching. Who would have thought that a while back? If healthy, this staff will keep us in a lot of ballgames this year. And we have help on the farm. We can't get only 12 wins from C.C. Oh, he'll cash in as a free agent, but if he makes the leap to 18-20 wins, he'll eventually get a monster deal. I think Cliff Lee, Paul Byrd, and Jake Westbrook should be solid. Jeremy Sowers, who I like a lot, has potential to be a really good starter. If he makes a leap this year, I think we'll contend.

The best thing about the bullpen this year is the presence of many veterans. Yeah, it's patchwork, but with clearly-defined roles, it's got a chance to thrive. Let's see how Joe Borowski closes. If he gets over 35 saves like last year, I think the brass would be happy.

It's the everyday lineup that may contain some surprises. We can't get more solid than Hafner, Martinez and Sizemore. No worries there. We should expect a better season from Peralta at short and Josh Barfield should impress at second base. It's the remaining positions that might cause some trouble. Third base is a mystery with Marte. First base could be solid if Ryan Garko repeats his hitting of the final two months of last year. The remaining outfield platoons bore me, but they are filled with veterans like Michaels, Nixon, Blake and Delucci. If they do their jobs, it may not be an issue.

Eric Wedge is on the hotseat, I think. Not many teams have patience with a manager who does not make the playoffs after five seasons. Most would say the guy is decent, but maybe not the one to take a team to the proverbial next level.

Having said that, I think the Indians do make the playoffs this year. It's a strong division and we seem to have one team lately who dominates out of the gate. Even Kansas City had a strong start a few years back, but Chicago and Detroit have been on fire early the last two seasons. It would be nice to get ahead early. I look for 91 wins and some October baseball.

Some notes on the season opener at Comiskey.

Meal of Links

"Twin Peaks" on DVD today. "I'm worried about Coop."

A kid in 1901 writes about life in 2001. It sounds like Edison was the bomb back then.

Looks like that early move to Daylight Savings Time has produced not much in the area of power savings. I like the move, but I never believed it would save energy, especially when it's dark in the a.m.

National Anthems

Here is a different take as Sufjan Stevens performs. It's kind of a harsh view, as it's a jumpy video, there are people chatting and it's a really strange version to begin with.

Sufjan Stevens at the Sasquatch Festival



Exercise Yard

S. and I returned to the scene of the crime at the Q to watch the Women's NCAA Final. Cannot understate my hatred for that goddamn "Rocky Top" song. Anyhow, Tennessee beat Rutgers in a game that really held no aesthetic pleasure for me. The highlight was actually scoring food. Soy Ginger Chicken on a stick with fried rice. And wasabi. Hello. Rutgers suffered from too many turnovers and not enough rebounds. All you need to know is this: someone from Tennessee is 5'2" and made three pointers. Could not understand why they didn't make that munchkin play harder.

Games aside, it was a great event for the town. The beautiful weather held again today and from what I heard, very positive comments from the visitors. Probably a good chance to maybe get another regional final.

Visitor

40 Across: Stuttering pig (5 letters) Answer: Porky

Far from a Sausagefest, it's the Women's Final Four that was in town last night. S. and I went to these games and let me tell ya, Cleveland has never seen that many lesbians congregated in one place since I don't know when. And it was an all ages show, as well. The weather was great and we were able to soak in the atmosphere outside at Alesci's plenty of time before the game, where we spoke to some New England lesbians, and proved a great spot for some people watching. And Downtown was packed. Most places were hopping as it was a big party.

As for the games, well, that was a different story. Our tickets were at Center Court...in Row Last. Very Bob Ueckerish. Being the seat snob that I am, I had not been upstairs in a long time, so I was surprised at how good the view was. And the Q was configured a bit differently than for a Cavs game. The ESPN crew, including favorite Stacey Dales, was in the lower southwest corner. Both benches were pushed back a bit, with press row behind and opposite said benches. The bands, of course, occupied the first few rows behind the baskets. And they had better fire in the intros than the Cavs! Four huge guitars on each corner of the scoreboard dropped to an angle and shot out fire as both teams were introduced for a total of 10 blasts, instead of the usual 5.















The actual game play was, in a word, awful. LSU played Rutgers in Game 1. Unfortunately, LSU forgot to show up. Rutgers drained some threes early and the rout was on, as they built a big halftime lead. The first ten minutes of the second half was a clinic in sloppy play. Rutgers then played out the string for a 59-35 win.

Game 2 was the marquee matchup between two No. 1 seeds, North Carolina and Tennessee. Tennessee is like the Yankees of the lesbian community. Casual fans have gravitated toward Tennessee, so the crowd is definitely in their favor. We always adopt the ABT (Anyone But Tennessee) approach, and wanted the Tar Heels to win. Bah! Just like the UNC men's team, they had a big lead late and could not seal the deal, and suffered the defeat. The matchup provided more than 50 combined turnovers and I believe, Tennessee shot 27%...and won. Horrible.

Clearly though, North Carolina was the best band of the night. Even though the Tennessee band plays the "Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin, they get penalized by "Rocky Top" ad nauseum. That led to our over and under bet on "Rocky Top". S. and I figured 13 was a fair number. I had 13 and above and she had 12 and below. Somehow, I eked out a 13-song win. UNC, however, combines an underrated fight song with a flair for contemporary music, and are very entertaining. Some of their selections are "New Age Girl" by Deadeye Dick (you know, "she don't eat meat, but she sure likes the bone"), "Come As You Are" by Nirvana, "Dirty Little Secret" by the All-American Rejects, Michael Jackson's "Thriller", "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash, "Get Ready" by the Temptations, and Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Sprit".

Meal of Links

Robert Smith of The Cure is helping Ashlee Simpson with a record. I can't believe I just typed that.

Alanis Morrisette sings about her humps:



Here are 10 reasons your boss hates you. Not me, you.

National Anthems

Nostalgia time. Stand up and please remove your hat before the movie. And put that popcorn down! It's Fred Waring and his Pennsylvanians.

Fred Waring via Movietone News during The Big One



Exercise Yard




















The Men's Final Four ended with Florida as champ. I picked Florida in my bracket, but most everyone else did, as well. Chalk ruled this tournament and I should have referred to my own prophetic words, the gap between the top teams and the next tier was fairly significant this year.

BTW, Greg Oden of Ohio State is good.

And, once again, I am a sucker for "One Shining Moment".

Now, the National Pastime begins.

Visitor

58 Across: Hall of Famer Brock (3 letters) Answer: Lou

Remember the raccoon that I thought was just visiting a few weeks back? I was getting very suspicious that it was taking up a more permanent residence recently and sure enough, within the last week it was obvious that it was kinda liking his new living arrangement. So, it was time to call in the experts. These outfits are pretty much a hit-or-miss affair, because the bottom line is you want the animals trapped, you don't need theories or even patience on what's going on, you just need them gone. I used Critter Control and they set up some traps on my roof on Saturday. Per usual procedure, you have to call each morning by 8:00 to report any success.

Sure enough, by Midnight, the raccoon was trapped. Unfortunately, that meant almost zero sleep for me, because all you hear is clawing and cage rattling all night. Especially me, because I always worry if the cage is anchored properly, can the raccoon get out, can it bend the steel bars to leave, is it a shapeshifter, things like that. Finally, around 6:30, it finally gave up the ghost and I felt sorry for it. You see, it rained half the night and it looked completely exhausted and awfully wet. Yikes, the guy got here before 8:00 to pick it up and reset the traps for perhaps more visitors. Well, it was a female and you know what that means. It's the birthing season, so we have to find out if there are any little ones. Great, we may have to play midwife.

You have to wonder what the other nocturnals think about those who get trapped, because I'm sure raccoons are probably in the cool section of the population. You know, smokin' a cig, and holding a longneck in the same hand. I can imagine this conversation:

Oscar the Owl: "Where's Rocky?"
Samuel the Skunk: "Didn't you hear? She fell for that damn marshmallow and apple trick...the oldest one in the book."
OtO: "Shut up!"
StS: "And to top it off, It rained on her half of the night!"
OtO and StS: "Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha."
StS: "Shit, that could have been us."

Meal of Links

Here are some office pranks for April Fool's Day. This day really loses it's steam after you're what, 12?

Tooling around a Vegas speedway in an F1 car. It is way cool.

How are things in the Falklands? Some rough edges, but not bad overall.

Exercise Yard

The Cavs were in trouble late in yesterday's game. Then they remembered LeBron James plays for them.

National Anthems

Since this is the start of the new baseball season, leading up to Friday's Home Opener for the Tribe, let's look at some different ones.

Dropkick Murphys at Fenway



Visitor

None, it's Women's Final Four Sunday.