Sarah Palin cannot name one newspaper or magazine she's ever read! Not one! Are you fuckin' kidding me? Train wreck cannot begin to describe this woman. Cipher only scratches the surface, there must be another word or phrase. I am starting to think someone will pull the fire alarm during her Thursday debate or there will be a bomb threat or something. I'm serious. Her answer, FOR SOMEONE SEEKING NATIONAL OFFICE, is incredible.



It reminds me of "The Bizarro Jerry":

Elaine: "Kevin and his friends are nice people! They do good things. They read."
Jerry: "I read."
Elaine: "Books, Jerry."
Jerry[pause]:" Oh. Big deal."

Meal of Links

"Star Trek as the A-Team"



Chronic Lyme Disease is a somewhat controversial issue. Who knew?

Turner Classic kicks in with the Paul Newman Tribute on October 12. "Hud" and "Cool Hand Luke" are the standouts. Newman clips.

P.J. O'Rourke has treatable cancer. He thanks God for the whiskey.

Exercise Yard

Who woke up Al Davis?

(Click for video)


Al Davis on firing Kiffin

Could you imagine the Browns doing this sort of press conference?

Visitor

6 Across: 1970s New York mayor Abe (5 letters) Answer: Beame

So, does John McCain suspend his campaign again until he masterminds the passage of the Wall Street bailout? What a farce that was. Before we go blame one side or the other for defeat of the bill, take a look at this.

Of 38 congressmen who were in races considered toss-up or leaning toward one candidate, 30 voted against the package. Those who were safe went 197 for, 198 against. Contrast those numbers with the numbers for the 26 congressmen not running for re-election. 21 were for the bill, 4 against.

So, as you can see, if you had an election in 30 days that could go either way, clearly the risk of a yes vote clouded passage of the bill. Those leaving the House were overwhelmingly for the bill.

Meal of Links

Is Mahmoud Ahmadinejad softening his stand on Israel? Last week, he admitted Israel's right to exist and it was not considered news for some reason.

The secret story behind Gilligan's Island. Little buddy, you devil, you.

Flea is a freshman. He is a Music Major.

Steely Dan, Sonic Youth, Split Enz, Squeeze, Spoon. All right here. My kind of reading...and listening.

Exercise Yard

Now that the season is over, I decided to look back at April and how I thought the Indians would do. They finished in third place with 81 wins.

My prediction was 89 wins and no playoff baseball. So, I feel I was kinda right.

I thought Detroit would be good and win the division. Uh, I missed that one.

"The leftfield platoon still bores me." Chalk one up for me. I also said about Ben Francisco: "Not sure he's the answer, but let's see what he can do at the big league level." I think I was correct on both counts. I also said Sizemore and Martinez were solid at center and at catcher. I'll get to Sizemore sometime in the off-season. Note Kelly Shoppach not on my radar. Ditto for Jamey Carroll.

For three paragraphs, I was hot:

"Franklin Gutierrez, Turtle Boy, is now the regular rightfielder. Not a big fan. I think he's a 2-tool player. For all of Jhonny Peralta's faults, the dude carried us in the playoffs last year. So shortstop doesn't seem to be an issue. The $6 million dollar man, Casey Blake, is at third, and quite frankly, no use going over his abilities again. The heir apparent at third, Andy Marte, seems to be have regressed at this point.

My running joke since last year is, "Do you mean the soon-to-be .244-hitting Asdrubal Cabrera?". Possesses a great glove, but his late September and playoff decline at the plate have me questioning the Hall of Fame status already bestowed upon him by some. I think this is a huge question mark for 2008. He must hit. Same with Ryan Garko at first. I love the guy, he's the darling of "The Jim Rome Show" and bloggers everywhere, and he is probably my favorite Indian. But you can't be a corner infielder and knock in 62 runs (well, unless you're Casey Blake). He must do better at the plate. Don't forget in 2006, he knocked in 40-some runs the last two months. That is the guy we need.

That leaves Travis Hafner as DH. He hit .255 this spring and had 12 walks and 2 homers. The Indians seemed satisfied, saying he had been pretty selective at the plate. But selectivity has never been an issue and those stats echo his 2007 season. Hafner, for whatever reason, was not able to drive the ball last year with disdain. His walks were still up, so an expanding strike zone was not an issue, he just lost some pop. However, in what was considered a down year, he still had over 20 homers and knocked in 100. I'll take that and we'll have to see if he'll ever get back to that 40-120 plateau."

Give me credit on Gutierrez and Marte. Peralta installed at cleanup was the least of our problems. I had Asdrubal Cabrera figured out like most AL pitchers until he got sent down to AAA. Most amazing comeback upon his return. Developed into a solid major league hitter and, as the roster stands now, probably moves into the Number 2 slot in 2009. Garko tied for the team lead with 90 RBI.

You could write a book on Travis Hafner's disappointing season. I sensed something wrong with Hafner coming into the season, but didn't think he'd finish the season with a batting average under .200. Early in the year, walks were way down, and strikeouts were way up. Scouts are correct. Most of his outs now are grounders to second and fly balls to left. So much so, Chicago was not even putting on the dramatic defensive shift on him anymore. Actually saw him hit a homer in September, testing the blind squirrel theory.

So, I think I had our offense pegged. What about the pitching?

"Starting pitching is the team's strength. Can Paul Byrd repeat his performance last year? If not, Cliff Lee should pick up the slack with a hopeful return to form. Keep in mind, Wedge hates him, so that's a short leash we're working with here. Westbrook, Sabathia and Cabrera should be solid.

Bullpen is pretty much the same, except for the additions of Breslow (a late add), Julio and Kobayashi. I see these questions and they are not going to provide simple answers, I believe. Do you honestly believe Perez and Betancourt can duplicate their 2007 seasons? These guys had ERAs below 1.45! I don't think that can happen again. Even a full run more of an ERA, which would still be very good, could be the difference in some losses. And Jensen Lewis, who wasn't touched the last two months of 2007, is he for real? I say no. And do we think Joe Borowski can do it again? We thought he was on borrowed time last year, so it may be more of a tightrope in 2008."

OK, starting pitching was the team's strength. Did not think Byrd would do well, continuing his pattern of when he throws a lot of innings one year, he's dog meat the next. Lee had a year for the ages. But he'd won 18 games before and I always liked him. But 22-3? Never thought that would happen. Cabrera and Westbrook getting hurt really damaged us. Sabathia was bad early, but was really good later. Then the trade came and he won 11 with Milwaukee. Amazing that Lee and Cabrera were the only ones standing at year's end. Cabrera had the problem of hitters laying off that sinker and his walks were way up this year. He has to get back to 2007 form.

That bullpen worried me and I was right. Julio, Kobayashi and Breslow were never factors. Breslow had a fine year with the Twins after we let him go. Julio? Not sure where he went. Kobayashi was a mystery. The Indians actually touted him as a potential replacement if Borowski faltered. Then they refused to pitch him in April in close games, had a bit of success until about June and then was pretty bad and rarely used after August 1. Signed for next year, so he'll be back.

I didn't think either Rafael, Perez or Betancourt, could duplicate 2007. They were unbelievable that year and both had awful starts in 2008. Perez righted himself after April and was the most consistent bullpen guy for the year. He had zero competition though. Amazingly, Betancourt never figured out how to pitch until late August. Was actually decent down the stretch, but he was a disaster for the year.

Kinda right on Jensen Lewis as he was sent down to AAA rather early. But he saved a bunch of games late in the year and may be the setup man next year, if we get an established closer. Joe Borowski was plain awful. Who knew when I wrote that on April 1, he had already been hurt for 2 weeks? He was gone rather early.

I apologize to Shin Soo-Choo. I usually refer to him as "The Asian Trot Nixon", but he's looking awfully good in right field. But I wanna see him repeat that next year. Other than that, it looks like we will be looking for a second or third baseman, and a closer. I see at least two bullpen spots open and really we'll have competition for third, fourth and fifth starting pitchers. Westbrook should not be counted on for 2009.

Visitor

23 Across: "The Big Chill" actress (12 letters) Answer: Mary Kay Place

Hey, I mentioned earlier using the juice of a lemon to clean your microwave. I dutifully report that it works.

The Browns, however, barely worked today. At winning, that is. Certainly didn't get a sense that the Browns felt their season was/is in jeopardy with the performance today. A win is a win, but many disturbing things still occurred.

Dumb penalties. The most critical one, a Braylon Edwards cheap shot negating a first down deep in Browns territory.

Derek Anderson jawing at Edwards and, earlier, with Steve Sanders.

Men repeatedly lining up offside.

Lack of time management. Romeo's failure to call a timeout at the end of the first half awaiting the Bengal FG attempt. 45 seconds left after third down, with the Bengals attempting a 46-yard FG. With the ball on the 36 after a potential miss of the field goal, a timeout is crucial. The Browns would have had 40 seconds and a timeout remaining with decent field position on a miss. Timeout never occurs and the Bengals run the clock down to 13 seconds. Then Romeo uses the timeout to freeze the kicker. Unbelievable. Of course, he makes it.

Dave Zastudil punting to the endzone after the Browns intentionally took a delay of game penalty.

Anderson still can't get over 6 yards a pass attempt.

Oddly using "weapons" of Jerome Harrison and Jason Wright early at the neglect of the receiving corps.

261 total yards. That won't get it done.

Defense played OK, but really relaxed after the Browns second TD. That was when the Bengals put their best drive together to trail 17-12.

But, a win is a win. No games the next two Sundays (the Bye week is next week), until the big Monday nighter with the Giants.

Meal of Links

How to determine the true age of your dog.This chart helps.

Best sites to stream TV. I kinda like Hulu.

The bailout heads to a vote on Monday. Prevailing theory is look to see the GOP members who vote against it. Might be potential candidates in 2012. Because, as we all know, there are no guarantees that is gonna work.

Six baffling mistakes movie criminals make. My fave has always been the discussion before the villain thinks he's gonna kill the hero. Compounded when the villain either leaves thinking the deed is done or better yet, when he leaves it up to the henchmen to carry out the plan. Just shoot the guy!

Exercise Yard

Week 4 Snap Judgments. Browns get a mention and it's pretty obvious. We stink.

Visitor

None. As the Browns were muddying through their game, the sun arrived.

I watched the Presidential Debate last night and it's a funny thing. We get all jacked up about these debates, but historically, anything above a 1% shift in the aftermath is an anomaly. I tend to be as non-partisan as I can watching these things. Always watch the C-Span feed, no split screens, etc. After it ended, I thought it went 50-50. Upon further review, I go Obama's way, 55-45. That may not sound like much, but a 55-45 in the right states in November is a landslide.

There can be only one conclusion though:















My note-taking broke down in this way (start to finish for each):

McCain:

What disdain he has for Obama, not even looking at him. Noticed this immediately, as the handshake greeting wasn't even perfunctory.
"Ted Kennedy, the Lion of the Senate."
"Republicans and Democrats sitting down..."
He invoked Dwight David Eisenhower, drawing many youthful stares.
Again with the "Chris Cox, head of SEC, must leave" theme.
Earmarking, a gateway drug. As Iggy Pop sings, "Of course, I've had it in my ear before. I gotta Lust for Life!"
DNA of bears...Palin, anyone? And, my pen is old.
"Pork-barrel", then "sheriff", then "Miss Congenialty". That goes to Palin this year, BTW.
No tax relief for single, white males. Again.
"It's hard to reach across the aisle from that far to the left." Really good line, except McCain is normally in the aisle itself, so, it's not that far.
Ethanol is bad. And I sunk a Battleship budget!
"Spending freeze" Whoa, where did that come from?
Let's go nuclear. It's fun. Like that "Funkytown" ad from Areva.
"We owe China $500 billion." Lots of bad pet food and killer toys, I guess.
"Miss Congenialty". Again.
Surge!
I happen to like war.
"I've been everywhere, man, I've been everywhere. I've been to Iraq, Iran, Pakistan, Waziristan, Afghanistan, Lebanon, Kosovo, Bosnia, Somalia. I've been everywhere."
"I have a bracelet."
"Second Holocaust." A canard, this will never happen.
"League of Democracies"? Like the UN, only better? Bring back the "Knights of Prosperity"!
"You don't understand."
"Ahmadinejad"
"Brezhnev, Andropov or Chernenko until Gorbachev was ready with glasnost and perestroika." Oh, you name dropper and big word user, you.
"Without preconditions." Sing it to the tune of "Gary, Indiana".
"North Korea." "Dear Leader." "North Koreans are three inches shorter." Huh, Edith?
"No one from Arizona is against solar..."
"Offshore drilling is a bridge"...to Nowhere, perhaps?
"We are a long way from safe."
Did he really say torture? "Oh, no he dint."
"I know the veterans. I know them well." And my veterans voting record is horrible.

Obama:

"Main Street", cue the Bob Seger.
"...policies promoted by George Bush, supported by Senator McCain..."
"John said that the fundamentals of the economy are sound." You won't look at me, I'll call you John, instead of Senator (internal fist-bump!)
Right to point out that earmarks comprise a small percentage of the budget.
"I don't know where John is getting his figures..."
McCain will tax your health benefits.
Alternative energy.
Kids, study your math and science. The Chinese are in space right now!
"..free ourselves from foreign oil..."
"Google for government" and I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
"The problem with a spending freeze is you're using a hatchet where you need a scalpel." Too much Iraq spending.
"Orgy of spending..." He said "orgy". Heh heh heh heh heh
"Six years ago, I stood up and opposed this war..."
"But that's Senate inside baseball..." BTW, check out my flag lapel pin!
"We've got to deal with a growing poppy trade that has exploded over the last several years." Small business loan, anyone?
He says Taliban like "Tally Man". Harry Belafonte affirms.
"I've got a bracelet, too..."
"I believe the Republican Guard of Iran is a terrorist organization." So there!
Henry Kissinger actually becomes the focus of the debate for a while. WTF?
I'll talk with anyone, anytime.
They seem to say the exact same thing about Russia and Georgia. Except McCain acts like they don't.
McCain always votes against cool energy stuff.
"And one of the things that I intend to do as President is to restore America's standing in the world. We are less respected now than we were eight years ago or even four years ago."

More, from the best polling site out there.

Meal of Links

Paul Newman died yesterday. Probably Hollywood's best philanthropist and a pretty shrewd car guy, as well. One of the greats. OK, the ones you have to see are "The Hustler", "Cool Hand Luke", "The Sting", "Absence of Malice", "The Verdict", "The Color of Money, and "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid". I put "Slap Shot" and "The Hudsucker Proxy" in a different category because they may not be as well-known, but are wonderfully funny. So many of his scenes stick out. One from "The Verdict", not the summation, but where he waits for Polaroids to develop and the case and his life seem to get all that much clearer when it's done. Plus, the phone ringing at the end. David Mamet wrote that screenplay and it's genius. But here is one of my favorites.

"Guns or Knives?" from "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid"



renting vs. Homownership.

All about TV Detectives. Jim Rockford should be No. 1.



Exercise Yard

For some reason, I stuck with the Michigan-Wisconsin game today. Only to see the greatest comeback in the history of The Big House.

Visitor

45 Across: Eponymous swindler Charles (5 letters) Answer: Ponzi

I was out with Drew at O's last night. No Po' Boy. but they cook up a mean Sloppy Joe sammie there. Anyhow, it's time for some catch up:

Blaine is a tool. "President done messed me up."

I do like one Suzanne Vega song, for sure. "Tom's Diner".

The rise and fall of "Chappelle's Show".

The top movies from "Seinfeld". Including "Rochelle Rochelle", “A young girl’s strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk.” Also, “Ah man, we’re missin’ the death blow!”

"Every nineteen minutes, the place goes crazy clean!"

Big-Time Football Catch



Two new shows are in trouble. "Do Not Disturb" is already gone.

JPMorgan buys WaMu. No bailout necessary there. Jamie Dimon is the Wall Street Man of the Year, thus far.

"I can't handle my kids, you take 'em."

Fox news does not want to talk about the Keating Five.

Bush prefers the Paulson Plan. But he has zero cred, while McCain says virtually nothing at his photo-op.

This is a Penthouse Forum in waiting.

Meal of Links

"Palin makes George W. Bush sound like Cicero". Remember when folks actually said Biden should be worried about his debate. With each interview, she leaps exponentially into the ether.

Sarah Siverman begs Jewish people to make "The Great Schlep". That is, get to Florida and make sure your relatives vote for Obama.

Austin City Limits festival is on the AT&T Blue Room. Best streaming day looks like Sunday.

Exercise Yard

Do you have the stones for a "Women in Curling" calendar? Who's got the hammer?

Visitor

57 Across: Maria's mom (6 letters) Answer: Eunice

Revisiting "The French Connection" (with clips).

This remains one of the movies I will stay up any length of time to watch. OK, I did that with Nicolas Cage and David Caruso last week in "Kiss of Death", but that sucked.

Seriously, "French Connection" has everything you want in a movie. The greatest car chase ever, Oscar-winning Gene Hackman as Popeye Doyle wearing a great hat, William Friedkin's use of handhelds and doc-style filming, great supporting work from Roy Scheider, friction between the feds and the cops, the monotony of good police work all combined into a great film. And the sequel was top-notch as well.

"I go with my partner."



Meal of Links

The Emmys were on last night. I didn't watch it. But from what I understand, they were terrible.

In 2009, you can get in free to Disneyland or DisneyWorld on your birthday. I'm sure "Restrictions may apply."

Hitchens asks, "Is Obama another Dukakis"? Certainly, I cringed at that question. More on Palin. "What is so unnerving about the candidacy of Sarah Palin is the degree to which she represents—and her supporters celebrate—the joyful marriage of confidence and ignorance."

Exercise Yard

And you thought the Browns were bad. Bill Ford, Jr. says he wanted to fire Matt Millen as GM of the Lions a while ago. But his Dad has final say and Millen still has a job.

Visitor

23 Across: U2's lead vocalist (4 letters) Answer: Bono (It took two people to write a Monday puzzle? Sheesh.)

"Sgt. Pepper"/U2 & Macca

Today was our first visit to Paul's new place in Parma for the Browns game. A significant neighborhood improvement from Love Canal. OK, so we are greeted with polkas and pink flamingos frolic amongst the gardens of chrome balls and pierogis, but alas, there are humans nearby. Unfortunately, it may take a while to determine my lucky seat to watch the games, because I certainly did not find it today.

A really curious effort from the Browns today. Seemingly with the season on the line, a terrible loss to a division rival. Derek Anderson...terrible. I had offered excuses for him before today, but not anymore. The Browns had 169 yards for the game. 169 yards! Ugh! They gave up 151 on the ground as the Ravens ran 42 times. You would be hard-pressed to find anyone who played well. A really awful display.

Browns lose, 28-10.

Meal of Links

As I was watching Manchester United-Chelsea this morning, I realized, we as taxpayers, are now sponsoring ManU, what with AIG on their unis. I'd bet LeBron wears their cap, too, being the frontrunner he portrays.


























Anyhow, the pitch looked immaculate this morning at Stamford Bridge, as Chelsea drew at home. A side note: Chelsea's owner, Roman Abramovich.

Speaking of LeBron, Esquire has a behind-the-scenes look at the business aspect of his life. I'm not sure this has been exposed before and it's rather interesting. It's all about the branding. Of course, he wants to be a global icon.

More on that Wall Street bailout. This guy calls it the Patriot Act of Finance. Even though we may not understand this, let's put the brakes on and scrutinize this deal further. Failures of the SEC Chairman.

Naked female bartending. May have been a hot day, post-Ike.

Exercise Yard

Team USA was entered in two sports this weekend.

In Davis Cup, the USA lost to Spain.

And the USA finally took back the Ryder Cup. Both teams played pretty terrific golf. The Euros got nothing from Garcia, Westwood and Harrington and that was probably the difference in the match. That was a surprise, as all three played very well this summer.

Visitor

None, it's a sunny Browns Sunday.

Kind of a lazy day today. However, the legacy of Bush is an interesting, but long read. Probably won't change anyone's mind, but it does point out you often have to wait a while to assess a presidency. Well, at least the historians tell you that.

Meal of Links

Here are ten overused words in writing. Did not use a single one in the prior sentence.

It has ended badly for "The Insider", Pat O'Brien. Yeah, he was still on the air all this time.

S. and I had lunch yesterday at Chrissie Hynde's restaurant, The VegiTerranean. Can't recommend it enough. I had a Stuffed Banana Pepper that had the freshest-tasting pepper I've ever had. The Hard Rockin' Burger was outstanding. Good vibe there and a really sharp space to boot. Celeb photos on the wall included: Shania Twain, Carrie Underwood, Morrissey, K.D. Lang, Martina, Joaquin Phoenix and others I forgot. But it's in a development in Akron called Northside where there is really nothing else going on. Sunny Friday afternoon at lunchtime and there were barely 15-20 people there. Of course, my portion of the bill was $20 and probably too steep for lunch for most. Certainly could not do that very often.

Still trying to find accurate numbers on what the "government bailout" of Wall Street will cost me. And how come I have to bail out an industry with apparently no oversight and no idea of risk management? Krugman says no to the deal.

Exercise Yard

I had The Ryder Cup on as background most of the day. The U.S. still leads, 9-7, going into Day Three. But another bad day for FIGJAM.

Visitor

49 Across: "A Plumbing We Will Go" team (15 letters) Answer: The Three Stooges

"A Plumbing We Will Go" (Part 1)

The Indians are so looking forward to next year, they already released the 2009 schedule. Red Sox at the end of April, the Yanks visit at the end of May. A weekend series at Wrigley in June might be a nice way to start the summer. Only 9 home games in July though. They load up in September again with 18 games.

Speaking of the Indians, I went to another Tribe game last night. My boss suggested a bunch of us go from work and five took the bait. So, it was my fifth game this month and final game of the year. Cliff Lee pitched and we had excellent seats, right behind home plate. We were located low enough, that if you looked, I was on the TV.

BTW, that was one really large beer, if it looked like I was downing several on camera (he says crossing his fingers). It was my first time in HD and I don't feel any different. Again it was a long game, hitting the 3:50 mark. Two strange occurrences, a Lee no-decision and a Travis Hafner homer. The Indians prevailed, and swept the Twins, 6-4.

Meal of Links

The A.V. Club gets into "Fight Club". I am one of the few (B.O. was $37 million) who actually saw this movie in a theatre. This was the movie that started by fascination with one Mrs. Tim Burton. And it spawned the website, What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Did you know VH-1 Classic is celebrating "Rush Hashanah" on September 29? Yeah, 24 hours of Rush! Reminds me of when the Cartoon Network had "Hadji New Year". Also, looks like Pink Floyd gets the Thanksgiving Day treatment, as well.

Methinks the BBC needs to update their photo files. Seriously, could this be the only one of Rudy Giuliani they have?

Forget the hacking of Palin's e-mail. The Onion gets inside Obama's e-mails. Nice jab at MoveOn.org.

Exercise Yard

The 50 Greatest Quotes of Charles Barkley. I love Chuck and most of these are pretty good.

Cannot say enough about the writing of Jeff Pearlman lately. Another gem about the largely forgotten life of Lyman Bostock.

Visitor

60 Across: Google co-founder Sergey (4 letters) Answer: Brin

"Wake me up when September ends..."

Tonight I was at the Indians game. Nomar Stalker presented my Dad and I some club seats, so we definitely had to go. Today's main course was Turkey and Yankee Pot Roast. I opted for the Turkey and it was really good.

So, what did we see at the game.

The Tribe blew an 8-1 lead.

Boof Bonser of the Twins then shut us down for a few innings.

Saw the rarely called Catcher's Interference on Victor Martinez.

Ryan Garko with 4 RBI's.

Justin Morneau left the entire population of the Twin Cities on base in his early at-bats.

I had Moose Tracks ice cream.

Rafael Betancourt pitched an agonizingly long 25-minute eighth inning, letting the Twins go ahead, 9-8. BTW, Betancourt now enters the game with "Conquest" by The White Stripes as his theme music. It's laughable when he performs like he did tonight.

There was an "Every Day" Eddie Guardado sighting. He used to own us back in the day. Tonight, Grady Sizemore homered off of him, hitting the foul pole, to tie it in the eighth.

We left after the ninth, when the game was approaching the 4-hour mark.

I guess Victor Martinez homered in the 11th for a 12-9 Tribe win.

Meal of Links

Ed Helms talks about Ed Helms. And Andy Bernard.

Gene Robinson talks about...guess who? Sarah Palin, of course. Nice Op-Ed. And the follow-up Q&A.

What would your name be if Sarah Palin was your mother? Mine would be Skunk Grunt Palin!

Bands that no one cares about. Rainbow with "Since You've Been Gone". I always dug the coda of this tune for some unknown reason. And a few more I, as well, really don't give a shit about.

A couple of pubs in England want to remove bouncers. Somewhere, Begbie smiles.

Begbie in a Pub



Exercise Yard

I actually stumbled across some hockey news today. Hockey news! Then I realized the NHL starts pretty soon already. Anyhow, here are the Top Ten Hockey Mustaches. Dennis Maruk is #9, and good old Wendel Clark is #2. The hands-down winner is obviously Lanny McDonald.

Visitor

6 Down: "Annie Hall" costar (6 letters) Answer: Keaton

Walken, Allen and Keaton in "Annie Hall"

Randomness from yesterday's Browns home game:

Special Guest: Nomar Stalker. Always eager to view the Browns. Especially against the Steelers, a team he knows a lot about. We have decided this is probably the most important game of the Romeo Crennel era. Bridge jumping alerts will go up if the Browns blow this one.

Today's Opponent: Our hated rivals, the Pittsburgh Steelers. Not much of a rivalry between these two teams lately, as the Steelers have dominated. I believe the only win upon their return was a game Tim Couch quarterbacked. Cue "Glory Days". Browns Versions 2.1 and 2.2 have really sucked in this matchup. The Steelers steamrolled Houston at home last week and looked good on both sides of the ball.

Browns Version 2.3, however, is in danger of becoming the Not-Ready-For-Prime-Time-Players if there is not a good effort tonight. Timing was off in the passing game last week, and should be better with another week of practice. Josh Cribbs with a return on special teams should help, as well. The Browns had another injury this week as Sean Jones went under the knife, meaning we may start backups at both safety positions. Uh, that's not good. Ben Roethlisberger has a tendency to carve us up in the passing game and, quite frankly, I do not see that changing tonight. I think the Browns have only one chance in this game and that's getting into a shootout with the Steelers. Sadly, I do not see that happening, as I think the Browns will play better, but lose this one.

Parking: East 6th and Lakeside by Public Hall. I consider that primo.

Browns Player on Ticket: Josh Cribbs.

Pre-Game Festivities: For some reason, I have been entering the park earlier this year. I miss my Sunday at 1:00 starts. That means I see the festivities before the game. Two honorees before the game were the late Ernie Davis and Bobby Mitchell. Jim Brown had a huge ovation and told us all about Ernie Davis, the Browns legend who never played a game for the Browns and died of leukemia. Brown is walking with a cane, hopefully nothing serious. Dennis Quaid, who is in the movie about Davis, was also there. The great Hall of Famer, Bobby Mitchell, was also introduced and received an award from the Leukemia Society. Can't say it enough, Randy Lerner knows how to keep the history of the Browns alive.

The Browns Spirit Flag was unveiled again and did not blow away. The National Anthem was played and a unique flag, consisting of huge strips, was unfurled as it was sung.

Worst Feature (For Me): "Hang on Sloopy" at the end of the third quarter. Although, I laughed when Santonio Holmes did "O-H-I-O" in the Pittsburgh huddle.

The Weather: Hollie Strano neglected to show us the Channel 3 Dual Doppler radar, always a feature from the Marky Nolan days. She told us it was windy, and did not tell us rain was around the corner. I expect more from my gameday weatherpeople.

When I arrived Downtown before 6:00, the wind was directly from the south and it looked the city streets would be clean as all the dirt and anything else lying around probably blew into the lake. Temp at gametime was in the low 80's and the humidity was up there.

Then late in the first quarter, the rain arrived. Only a deluge for a little bit, but man, at first, those raindrops were cold! But it was more of a steady, misting type of rain. In the middle of the game, things calmed down a little bit, but the rain and not-so-much wind returned again late. Certainly, I risked pneumonia.

Pre-Game Injury: Yes, I was sacked by a tarp on the Mall on the way in. I cannot believe I just typed that, but it did happen. These yahoos were deconstructing a stage or some booths on the mall and pieces/parts were all over the place. As I'm walking by, the wind is really howling. There was a tarp several feet away that I was going to have to walk around. I noticed one gust had sort of flipped it over. I even thought to myself, surely they have that anchored down, don't they? Uh, that would be a negatory on that one. The next gust lifted it airborne and I'm right in the middle of it's path.

I stood in the pocket, unlike some Browns QBs I know, but I got flattened. Only minor scrapes, nothing major. Of course, I immediately looked for someone to sue.

Today's Giveaway: The fine folks at AT&T gave us a "Browns Swirler". No, not a Swirly. This had "Go Browns" on one side and Brownie the Elf on the other. "You're doin' a heckuva job, Brownie."

BTW, a Swirler is basically a flag to wave. It has a small umbrella-like handle.

Section 345: It's Steelers Week, so you know what kind of action that brings. Once again, I am not seeing many familiar faces, so I do not know if the season ticket holders have sold their tickets to make some money off of these games or if some diehards have just given up. But that means many more Steeler fans in our section than usual. Anyhow, lots, and I mean lots, of visits by the gendarmes in our section. This resulted in ejections of...you guessed it! Steeler fans! Following the Home Stadium Code to a T, it's never the home fans that start things, it's always the opposing, especially, Steeler fans who start the shenanigans.

Best Browns Play: Another piddling selection to choose from. I'd say the screen pass to Jerome Harrison for 23 yards was it. Certainly, the most exciting of the lot and it was the start of our last field goal drive. Harrison juked around for a big gain when it didn't look like much at the start of the play.

Best Steelers Play: Among a few to choose from, I think the prettiest play was Ben Roethlisberger hitting Santonio Holmes on a deep ball for 48 yards in the third quarter. That led to a field goal and 10-0 lead for the Steelers.

Worst Browns Play: The Derek Anderson interception right before the half. Just an awful throw. Triggered by the Browns ineptitude in a two-minute offense. They only ran six plays in the final 1:47 of the half, while they had two timeouts. Should have come up with some points there.

Second Worst Browns Play: Romeo Crennel is obviously going to kick field goals while behind, until he is proven correct. Not as terrible as Week One's FG decision, but close. Number One, what made him think they would get the ball back, with less than 4 minutes to play? And Number Two, even if they did get it back, they didn't prove they could score a TD all night. Very questionable call. Again.

Best Exchange:
NS (after a Roethlisberger sneak failed): "What a godawful call."
Me: "Just proves my Offensive Coordinator Theory. I have to prove I am smarter than you, instead of calling a play that might work."
NS: "Did you come up with that before or after Bruce Arians was here?"

Best Line from a Random: After another third-down escape by the Steelers. "We're the same team we are since we've come back. Nothing ever changes."

Oddest Browns Jersey: 2 Couch, 92 Brown, 94 Warren. Gerard Warren? Are you effin' kidding me?

Food Items: A pretzel for $3.50. Had my pre-game Corona Lights at Alesci's.

Best Fan Cam Feature: Didn't really pay attentiion last night.

The Fuckin' Run: Although the Browns defense did play better last night, you may attribute that to both offensive coordinators being cautious and the weather. The defense still managed to give up 117 yards on the ground.

Worst Stat: On a day that begged for a strong running game, the Browns managed 53 rushing yards. They only had 208 total yards, so it was a fairly ugly performance offensively.

2nd Worst Stat: Browns averaged 4.8 yards per pass attempt. Trust me, that won't win many games.

Most Interesting Stat: The kicking game for both teams was rather solid, even with all of the wind and rain. Dave Zastudil had a 52-yard average on Browns punts and Mitch Berger had 45 on the Steeler punts. All of the field goal attempts were made. Jeff Reed even knocked in a 48-yarder for Pittsburgh against the wind.

Don't know how this was shown on the broadcast, but the Steelers had a unique ability of not catching most punts or kickoffs. The punt returning was hideous and almost costly as one unfielded punt almost led to a Browns recovery and a kickoff that was botched almost resulted in an even better Browns recovery. I think they caught one punt on a fly and only one kickoff.

Penalties: The Browns were offside on an extra point. That makes two penalties on extra points, so far. The Steelers had the unusual taunting penalty, while in their huddle! Always thought that was fair game, to yell across the line at each other. I guess not.

The frustrating thing about last night's game, it was winnable. Who would have thought it would be the offense that would struggle in this game. The defense was OK last night, but again, it may have been the function of the playcalling of the Steelers. Derek Anderson was not very good last night. Timing was still a bit off and although he wasn't horrid, their really was no zip in his game.

The running game stunk. Bright spots were Shawn Rogers and Kellen Winslow. Rogers played a good game on defense, with several tackles. If it were up to me (and most assuredly him), I'd throw the ball to Winslow 20 times a game. He's that good. But I thought the Browns could have sustained some momentum with a better play selection.

Look at their field-goal drive in the fourth quarter. Harrison catches a pass and goes crazy for 23 yards. Crowd perks up a lot. Followed by two runs. After a pass to Winslow (the bouncing in the air one), it's a run and an Anderson scramble. After another first down, it's two more runs. These types of calls seem to kill any momentum and it would be nice to see if Anderson could shake off some cobwebs and establish any kind of rhythm. Very frustrating game to watch.

Browns lose, 10-6, as Roethlisberger wins his ninth straight against Cleveland.

Meal of Links

It's the end of Merrill Lynch. And I thought Lehman was the one in trouble.

Child actors who actually made it. Am I missing something? No Jodie Foster or DiCaprio?

Was Andre the Giant the Greatest Drunkard Ever? He drank 7,000 calories of booze per day.

Exercise Yard

All things football.

Visitor

15 Across: Himalayan legend (4 letters) Answer: Yeti

I made another trip to the Party Deck with Gale to watch a Clash of the Titans affair at Progressive Field. Of course, the Tribe ended up losing this second game of the doubleheader for a Royals sweep. As you enter, you already feel ripped off as the pitching matchup was Bryan Bullington against Robinson Tejada. Bullington plays for the Cleveland nine, BTW. Ah, September baseball! I pity the fools who were there for Game One and decided to stay for Game Two. It was Grady Sizemore (in a car...WTF?) Bobblehead Night, so maybe those folks stayed for that. KC was so confident starting a reliever, Tejada, that their manager hoped he would go two innings. Two innings! Uh, he threw 2-hit ball for five. Ugh! A rather harmless game to watch as more people seemed interested in the USC-OSU game on the TVs. Anyhow, the Tribe lost, 8-4. I have one game left to go to on Tuesday. For some reason, I'll have seen four September games this year. I am an idiot.

Speaking of Ohio State, I was surprised how easily they were destroyed by Southern Cal. But, once again, it's the lack of complete objectivity by these OSU acolytes that gets to me. After a holding penalty nullified an OSU TD, someone yelled out, "West Coast Referees!". Now, seriously, from what I gathered, both teams were getting flagged all over the place, so I certainly didn't see any bias. Especially when I saw the guy get tackled, not held. And, right before half, with the game already at 21-3, another guy asked if I had seen what happened on a play which USC completed a pass for a first down. "Did you see where the refs marked that ball? He landed at the 11 and he gave them a first down at the 10." Not really caring, I said, "You'll have that."

I know it's tough to criticize the home team (even one that's 110 miles away from here), but the refs didn't game plan for the Bucks, they didn't toss ill-timed interceptions, or fumble, or get blown off the ball in the running game. Face it, they played an awful game. Hey, I'm trying to come to grips with a world where Michigan looks like a 3-8 team. At least Ohio State remains a Big Ten/large bowl game contender. Probably not the BCS title game, but who would have thought they made that last year. Shows how tough it is to get in those games.

Seriously, who else is in the Big Ten race? Wisconsin is probably a keeper. Penn State drilled Syracuse, but then so did Northwestern. Illinois struggled yesterday. Michigan isn't a threat. Iowa? I don't think so. No shame in playing the Rose Bowl, I'd say.

And is Beanie Wells the new Bob Sanders? Shouldn't OSU be stockpiled at these skill positions? Can't believe the dropoff with him out of there, especially with USC running new guy after new guy out of their backfield. I don't follow Ohio State recruiting or every move they make, but that seems noteworthy they don't have an impressive backup at running back.

Meal of Links

Pakistan has the order to kill US invaders. Just in time to piss those folks off.

Rating the films of the Coen Brothers. I think I'd move "Hudsucker Proxy" higher. You know, for the kids.

Amy Winehouse has a birthday tomorrow. Her pre-birthday photos are, um, troubling.

What is up with Canada? They are having another election soon.

Exercise Yard

Your next Olympic sport? How about pole dancing?

Visitor

30 Across: Oscar Zoroaster Diggs of early 1900s fiction with "The" (10 letters) Answer: Wizard of Oz

Hurricane Ike means the return of the Geraldo Rivera Comedy Hour:



He's on all night, folks!

Meal of Links

Jee-zus, the ladies of "The View", of all interviewers, pound McCain. Maybe he should stay away from interviews for a while. Last two days, not so good.

Another list of movie trailers. "The Shining" makes it.

Five years ago today, Johnny Cash died. Listen to some Johnny Cash Radio.

Forget Ike, the big news is that Sonic opens on Monday. Looks like a Happy Hour visit is in order.

Why would someone smack Roger Ebert with a binder at the Toronto Film Festival? Obviously, the guy had no idea who he hit.

Exercise Yard

NYC wins the latest fight against the Nazis. Allianz drops its bid for naming rights at the new Giants/Jets stadium.

Visitor

48 Across: Baseball's "Georgia Peach" (4 letters) Answer: Cobb

Today was such a nice day, my Dad and I had lunch at The Harp. Great to knock down a couple of beers in the sunshine.

But, on the way back home after I dropped him off, I was at a stoplight. As I have "Cat People" by Bowie cranked, this bicyclist moves up to the corner, then backs up and decides to say something through my open passenger window. He must have noticed my bumper sticker which has Bush pointing one way and Truth the other.

He says, "He may not know much about the truth, but we haven't been attacked in 7 years." Well, Happy 9/11 to you as well, sir. I ignored him. I mean, I didn't feel like having a debate in my car with someone who wasn't actually in the car with me. And it was also Bowie on a rare play, I might add. I found it very strange, as that seems to be more of a 2004 argument for Bush. I thought if this was still a prevailing thought amongst the electorate, we're all in trouble.

BTW, two things about McCain-Palin today that are just unbelievable to comprehend. McCain actually said this about Palin's national security experience, "Energy. She knows more about energy than probably anyone else in the United States of America. She's a governor of a state where 20% of America's energy supply comes from there. And we all know that energy is a critical and vital national security issue. We've got to stop sending $700 billion of American money to countries that don't like us very much. She's very well versed on that issue. And, uh, she also happens to represent, be governor of a state that's right next to Russia. She understands Russia."

That is a huge WTF right there. Energy as her bailiwick and because she is close to Russia, well, by God, that counts, too. I predicted they would use that as an example of her experience and can't believe it enters the discussion frequently.

The other was the Fred Thompson line, calling Palin "the most remarkable success story in the history of American politics.” What did these clowns drink over Labor Day weekend?

I think I need a day off from that shit, but they just keep on giving.

Meal of Links

The background that shapes McCain's war arguments. Two throwaway lines jump out at me: "...McCain’s incredulousness at the sight of Obama, a man he plainly does not respect..." and "...in Afghanistan, over time, we’ll grow an army...". The Afghan plan echoes Obama (re:Bin Laden), but that sounds rather Iraq-like to me.

The new DVD of "The Big Lebowski" is out. This article examines the politics within. (with 3 clips)

This is one angry bear. Palin nowhere to be found.

Gina Gershon as Palin



Billboard's all-time Top 100. "The Twist" is Number One.

Yep. He's my Congressman.

Exercise Yard

Could Ohio State and USC meet later on for the national title? Gee, I can't wait.

Visitor

22 Across: Formula One team that's a rival of Ferrari (7 letters) Answer: McLaren

I'm back. I ended up getting a new computer yesterday. Staples was clearing them out, so I picked up a Dell with a 22-inch monitor. It has Vista and it has worked out great, thus far. Real easy setup and trying to get everything running again has been a relative snap. Then you start remembering some websites that you frequent and have to bookmark. Like today, with World Cup Qualifying all over the globe, I was reminded I needed Sopcast, so I can watch England-Croatia for free via the Internets. A big thanks to the Chinese sports channel in Shanghai for that one. On another channel, it's Australia playing somebody now, but I don't understand Chinese. It sounds like Ping on "Seinfeld" when he called that hair clinic in China. All I can say is, it's a "team in white". And over there, it is France-Serbia. Of course, I have the requisite adult beverages at hand. Ah, if each day could be like this!

This morning, it was cleaning out the garage and I tossed away some clutter. Of course, the garbage pickers were like vultures. Some of that stuff lasted barely 5 minutes out there.

Meal of Links

Sometimes you need to go outside the country to get the proper perspective on the election and what it means. And the blatant lying of the McCain-Palin ticket is testing the "Americans Is Stupid" theory. I'm willing to bet after the election, a significant portion of the electorate will still buy that "I sold the jet on eBay" canard.

BTW, I kind of like Rachel Maddow's show on MSNBC, thus far. I saw more varied guests on her first two shows than in a month of Keith Olbermann's usual suspect appearances. Don't get me wrong, I watch K.O., but the show has fallen off a bit in my eye, where most of his regulars parrot each other, without much actual sparring. I'd at least like someone to represent the right, no matter how lame, kind of a reverse Fox, if you will. I mean someone could play the right Juan Williams on MSNBC, no? My God, she had the Libertarian candidate, Bob Barr, on last night. He'll probably visit Bill Maher, I'm sure, later, but it was good to see him on there. I was just happy to see a different face on my TV. And I also heard her apologize for interrupting someone. That may have been a first for cable TV.

She's smart and has a quirky sense of humor and a nice delivery. And she whipped Larry King's ratings on Day One. And he had Bob Woodward on.



(Hey, Theo Wolcott just scored. England up, 1-0.)

Camille Paglia checks in on Sarah Palin. Andrew Sullivan talks about McCain.

Can crime shows make you hungry? It appears so.

Would you call Chris Elliott a comic genius. I don't know, but he makes me laugh a lot. I loved his "Conspiracy Guy" on the Letterman show. Lengthy read, but lots of memories here.

(The halftime commercials are interesting. McDonald's slogan in China is also "I'm lovin it!". Pizza Hut is really pushin' the shrimp pizza. No Chinese people in the Acura ad. But they use plenty of Mobil oil for those nasty traffic jams. Hey, KFC has a new drink of undetermined flavor. A candy, I think, called Sugus uses "Sugar Sugar" as its music. Lays with a dumb one, reminiscent of old goofy cereal commercials, as a gaggle of youths stops to let a dog with a Lays bag trot on by. Nikon, Sharp and Sony hawking consumer electronics. Kia had an Olympic-themed ad. And Visa uses the Paralympics for their commercial.)

When you are home during the day, you never know what awaits. Today, it was the "Hogan's Heroes" episode, in HD, where they end the war. One of my all-time faves, Hochstetter gets in a few "What is this man doing here?" references and lets the leaders of the Underground borrow his car as a goodwill gesture upon their release. Great stuff from Klink and Schultz, too. Of course, the war is not over as Kinchloe and Father Mulcahy as "Thomas" broadcast that from the radio station in Hammelburg. Looks like a marathon on Saturday and this episode is included on TVLand. Good prelude for OSU-USC.

Classic movie cameos. Any list that has the Baseball Furies and Sgt. Oddball and Zed on it is OK by me.

(Theo Wolcott scores again and it's 2-0, England.)

Exercise Yard

(Four minutes later, Wayne Rooney scores! England is winning 3-0.)

Vince Young has made some strange statements in the past. But I think he may be losing it with these latest incidents.

Visitor

62 Across: Former NBA guard Danny (5 letters) Answer: Ainge

OK, I'm back. Should be posting soon.

My hard drive done blowed up after I posted on Saturday. Good timing, as I start vacation tomorrow and I can address the resultant blue screen. I need to reinsert the XP disk, so I’ll see what’s up and if I have to address alternatives. This is written from the bunker inside Romeo Crennel’s head, where there is lots of room, I discovered.

Randomness from yesterday's Browns home game:

Special Guest: My brother Jeff. We talked about his uncanny luck at seeing the Browns win and how it seems to have evaporated as they have increased their win totals. His last two games: The Cincinnati shutout in ’06, the Steeler blowout in last year’s opener. Yikes! I think that combined score is 67-7.

Today's Opponent: “America’s Team”, the Dallas Cowboys. The last time they were in town was a godawful hot day for the opener in 1991, Belichick’s first game as head coach. Dallas is loaded on both sides of the ball and they come off two disappointing seasons where they reached the playoffs and flamed out early.

Browns Version 2.3, however, comes into the game with the highest fan expectations since their return. As I stated the other day, the injury bug seems to be biting the Browns this year and we haven’t even started. Last year, Jamal Lewis was the only one who went down on offense, while this year, both sides of the ball are suffering. And let’s not forget, one decent season and the coaches who stayed got contract extensions. Romeo was rumored to be out by the bye week last year, if you recall. Now, we are stuck with him for a while. We have a new defensive coordinator, to boot. Something to think about, if the season goes South.

Parking: Short Vincent Truck Zone.

Browns Player on Ticket: Braylon Edwards

Pre-Game Festivities: The Browns Spirit Flag made its annual appearance. Bigger Ass Flag was also unveiled. This one stretched from goal line to goal line. And it appears the Browns have a Drum Corps now, their first musical foray since G.E. Smith. They formed a gauntlet through which the Browns run for the introductions. The introductions are not done individually anymore. The Browns come out as an offensive or defensive unit now. And we also had a flyover from two Marine transport planes, C-130s. First game always gives us a flyover, as Randy Lerner has the connections. Thought they would be bigger, these C-130s. Anyhow, I miss the really fast jets.

Worst Feature (For Me): Once again, the Ohio State Marching Band. The Browns always lose when they show up. Don’t get me wrong, I like the dual Script Ohios, but I had to endure “Hang On Sloopy” twice. Once from them and, as usual, at the end of the third quarter with the actual recording.

The Weather: That little Ewok, Hollie Strano, has taken over for Marky Mark Nolan to intro the weather. Could not have asked for a better day. Bleak in the morning. Sunny and nary a cloud by game time. Temp about 72.

Today's Giveaway: The fine folks at Bank of America provided us with towels to wave. It reads, “The Name On The Door Is Cleveland”. I maintain that’s a dumb slogan. One of the worst ever.

Section 345: Not much action here. Oh, the people were fired up from when they opened the pop bottles, but fairly sedate later. I think around 535 and 346 were where all the scuffles occurred, so we got views of that. Oh, there were “Asshole!” chants because there were many Dallas jerseys present. And with the 4:15 start, that means plenty more drinking. We had two sots next to us that left in the third quarter. They arrived drunk and then had two more beers. Then reality set in. Like how do I get home.

Best Browns Play: OK, I’m not sure one even existed. Kellen Winslow had a nice 17-yarder over the middle from Derek Anderson early. At the end of the third quarter, Jamal Lewis busted one up the middle for 24 yards. Weak selection.

Best Cowboys Play: The TD to Terrel Owens. Dallas loaded the left side with their three best receivers. Patrick Crayton out wide, Jason Witten near the line, T.O. in the middle. Browns in a zone, which meant, ahem, Kamerion Wimbley had Owens off the line. Wimbley never hit him and passed him off to the deep man. My whipping boy, Brandon McDonald, had to take Crayton deep and as T.O. roams downfield untouched, the safety had to follow Witten to the middle. McDonald and the safety were late to recognize the play and Romo put it right on the money. Beautiful play construction against the proper defense. And T.O.’s Usain Bolt imitation was choice. He shook his legs and used the goal line as the starting line. Not sure it was worth 15 yards, but I laughed.

Worst Browns Play: The field goal with the Browns losing 28-7. This makes Romeo’s all-time top five list. I commend the fans calling bullshit immediately. Very disappointing. It’s the type of move that has you questioning your math skills. “Wait, we need three scores and if we kick, we still need three scores. WTF?". Then you start adding up possibilities in your head again and it still does not compute. Indefensible. No explanation works.

Second Worst Browns Play: Obviously, Braylon Edwards dropping a sure TD, a gamechanger, if you will. As he demonstrated to everyone there, before he reached the huddle, he claimed he lost it in the sun. Once again, putting me before team.

Best Exchange:
P.A. Man: “Cowboy pass complete to Tony Curtis.”
Me: “Yeah, Tony Curtis. I heard they cut Kirk Douglas to make room for him.”
Jeff: “I love you, Spartacus.”

Best Exchange 2:
Jeff: “I thought Pavarotti was dead.”
Me: “Huh?”
Jeff: “That usher there. He looks like Pavarotti.” (Then operatic): “Let me take to your seat!”
Me: “I dunno. He looks more like John Rhys-Davies to me.”
Jeff: “Well, he’s John Rhys-Davies playing Pavarotti as an usher then.”

Can you tell the game stunk?

Best Line from Me: After Eric Wright’s interception with the Browns trailing 28-7.”There’s a gleam, men!”

Best Line from a Random: “Romeo probably told Braylon Edwards, “You did such a fine job today, take Tuesday off.” Of course, Tuesday is the off day every week.

Oddest Browns Jersey: 5 Garcia, 44 Suggs, 50 Faine, 81 Bryant. Offset by 88 Irvin, 12 Staubach, 33 Dorsett, 8 Aikman. Ouch!

Food Items: Had a Mountain Dew for four dollar.

Best Fan Cam Feature: I’m not sure there was one yesterday.

The Fuckin' Run: The Browns gave up 167 yards on the ground. All you need to know about this took place before the Cowboys last TD. Shaun Smith played at nose tackle most of this drive and then we noticed Shaun Rogers comes in with ball on the Browns 15. Next play, Barber on a trap up the middle for 4 yards. Next play, Felix Jones goes up the middle for an 11-yard TD. Game over! BTW, Corey Williams, whose name we hardly heard, was credited with two tackles. Once on Dallas’ first drive and I’m not sure where else.

Worst Stat: Not so much a stat, as the Browns had 9 penalties for 55 yards. It was the types of penalties. Brandon McDonald had not one, but two, hands to the face penalties. Braylon Edwards who is looking at the ball to be snapped had an illegal shift and a procedure penalty. We also had defensive holding. That’s not a rarity, but it was called on a DEFENSIVE LINEMAN. We also had facemasking. That’s not a rarity, but it was called on an OFFENSIVE LINEMAN. They were also flagged for lining up incorrectly on an extra point, which was probably that you can’t line up over the center anymore. And, of course, the Browns took a delay-of-game. Anderson was having a terrible time getting the calls in from the sideline. Later, he blamed it on his helmet battery. Uh, get a new one, please, and quickly. That was agonizing to watch.

2nd Worst Stat: Dallas had 30 first downs.

Most Interesting Stat: Kellen Winslow was roaming free in the first half and had four catches. At halftime, Dallas adjusted and double-teamed him. He had only one catch the rest of the way. That’s why the injury to Donte Stallworth was so painful. We had to play Steve Sanders and Syndric Steptoe who would normally be our 4th and 5th guys. So, it was an easy move for Dallas.

I’m not as upset with this loss, as I thought might be. Going in, I thought that the Browns would lose. However, I am upset with the defense, as we looked awfully shaky back there yesterday. It is clear that Dallas is an elite team in the league and it really showed how far the Browns need to go. If we lose next week against Pittsburgh, guard the bridges. There will be jumpers.

Browns lose, 28-10.

The Browns play their first tackle football game of the season tomorrow against Dallas. OK, the name on the door says "Cleveland", so I assume if you want to get to the Super Bowl, that means you have to go through us. Rather cocky for a team that hasn't won anything.

I'm from Cleveland, so I've earned the right to be skeptical of any predictions that have the Browns headed to the Super Bowl. I align myself with the Bill Simmons line of thought:

"I'm not a big fan of this formula: Artificially high expectations + too many nationally televised games (five in all) + brutal schedule + too much luck last season (what are the odds of them getting 32 games from Kellen Winslow and Braylon Edwards again?) + brewing QB controversy + horrible preseason = Yikes."

I look for us to win 7 or 8 games. Anything beyond that will be a bonus. Hey, I plan on enjoying the ride this year, but I'm realistic. Offensively, we are weak at receiver and cannot afford injuries. Last year, we got through the schedule OK. The injuries have already started in preseason this year. Defensively, our linebackers and corners need work.

Let's see if last year was a mirage.

Meal of Links

Seriously, if you have a fear of spiders, do not watch. Very realistic spider crawls across your screen. Space bar feeds him insects.

The 25 Funniest Web Videos. Lots of gems in here. The "Whoo-whoo" Guy, Bill-O Dance Remix, Zombie Kid, Grape Stomper, Elmo and DeNiro, Scary Mary Poppins, the ubiquitous Flea Market Montgomery, Dildo in a Box amongst others.

Mickey Rourke film wins a major award. Huh? Toronto Film Festival is this week, we'll have to see what comes out of there.

Things I've tried recently:

Flat Earth crisps. I tried the Farmland Cheddar variety. A bit salty, but they taste good.

Giant Eagle has these frozen artisan loaves under the Market District label. I had the French Baguettes. Toss them in the oven until golden brown. Great for bigass subs. Excellent value on a BOGO, not so much at regular price.

Corn-on-the cob from Szalay's. I got them at some garden center in Hudson. Best corn I've had in a while. I wouldn't take the train to their market, but hey, it's rather Klaben-like. If it's good enough for the Jonas Brothers, enough said.

Got to be creeped out again tonight '50s style with "Night of the Hunter". Absolutely one of my faves. Mitchum at his finest.

Story of Right Hand/Left Hand



They auctioned off a burnt guitar of one Jimi Hendrix in the UK this past week. This was pre-Monterey as that guitar was just pieces/parts. This one survived in someone's garage all this time. Sold for $480K.

Exercise Yard

What an odd day of watching college football today. East Carolina pasting West Virginia. Ohio actually in the lead late versus Ohio State. Notre Dame looking awful against San Diego State. I had to put on my Miami hat against Michigan, and the alma mater played tough at the Big House. And the refs help BYU beat Washington.

Visitor

59 Across: Sam Peckinpah's last film with "The" (15 letters) Answer: Osterman Weekend Christ, was the puzzle difficult this a.m.

This was probably the angriest I was during this week's convention. But first, the funniest part. When the Co-Chair talked about "Sarah Pawlenty". Oops, sorry Minnesota.

Back to angry. It was Mitt Romney's attack on "Eastern elites". Mitt Romney is a tool.

Meal of Links

After hearing "Barracuda" at the RNC, I thought Heart might have a response. They did. It's the old "cease and desist" move which has been employed by several recording artists who disagree with the user's politics.

Gloria Steinem on Sarah Palin. Best line (which I saw on a sign at the McCain-Palin stop today): "Palin shares nothing but a chromosome with Clinton."

Roger Ebert tells us how to read a movie. Good stuff.

And this, well, I had a conversation about this song recently. Of course, some chick band had a big hit with it. So, here you go.

"Our Lips Are Sealed"/Fun Boy Three



Exercise Yard

The USC Song Girls are available for hire. Polka Happy Hour, perhaps?

Visitor

36 Across: Anakin Skywalker, ultimately (5 letters) Answer: Vader

I know it's "Country First" week, but I'll put my "American Hat" on, because the hypocrisy on Sarah Palin is absolutely killing me.



I tended to agree with James Carville's pre-Palin speech comment last night. When was the last time you heard a bad acceptance speech at a convention? You could probably toss them all into the same pile and not get much of an argument. But the idea that she will be a President somewhere down the road (after one speech, mind you) is laughable. She did a fine job of reading last night, but oh, I wish Tim Russert was still here. Not to worry though, I do think the tough questions are coming. Fact-checking Palin's speech. McCain has written two memoirs to Obama's one, BTW. And this is a thoughtful piece in what we witnessed last night.

And what was with that "green screen" behind John McCain tonight? I thought he was gonna give us updates on Hurricane Hanna. Hey, protesters! That's different. After the early intro of Palin, he was kinda dull, wasn't he? The ending was embarrassing. And he seems overly excited, does he not?















I don't understand how a guy who's been in Washington for so long as a member of the party that's been in power for 20 of the last 28 years can act as an outsider who will change D.C. Isn't he part of the problem?

BTW, we raided Pakistan.

Meal of Links

Hey, tackle football season started tonight. I watched the last couple of minutes on NFL.com. Not a bad effort, you get five camera angles and game audio. Main broadcast, cable cam, star cam (iso on your favorite star), end zone cam and sideline cam are the angles. I will say this, cable cam is a great angle to watch the action. Really good view of plays developing. Al just said, "dink and dunk." Are you listening, Quinn?

I am a fan of covers. Especially those that are done well and threaten to make us forget the original. Why, I just heard "Take Me To the River" by the Talking Heads today. One of my faves is Dave Edmunds version of "Get Out Of Denver", a rare pleasure if you get to hear it. Here is a good archive of Michael Jackson, Madonna and Prince cover tunes.

Standouts:

"Material Girl"/Richard Cheese (that guy just cracks me up)
"Baby, I'm A Star"/Of Montreal
"I Want You Back"/KT Tunstall

The most overrated things in rock via Blender. Hey, they dis Cheap Trick. That's a no-no. Pink Floyd, as well. Uh-oh.

I could not figure out why this song was popping into my head lately, because I've always liked it. It's because it is being used as background in the commercial for the latest Coen Brothers movie. I probably have to request this one on the Mr. Classic show.

"Got A Line On You"/Spirit



Exercise Yard

Is he drunk? Uh, yeah. Red Bull + Vodka = Worst high jump attempt ever.



I was at yesterday's Indians game. We went on a group outing from work and sat in the Party Deck. This time, it was closed to the public. Their chicken is pretty damn good. Breaded, not BBQed. Anyhow, we had shade for six innings on a really hot day, so it was nice. And they yank the food out pretty damn quick at that hour into the game mark. I got to thinking, Eric Wedge is lucky he manages an in American sport.

Because the EPL is only three games old, and already, two managers have resigned. Curbishley done at West Ham, King Kev out at Newcastle. All eyes now turn to Manchester City.

Visitor

5 Down: Golfer Sabbatini (4 letters) Answer: Rory

Last night, my Dad and I saw Cliff Lee win his 20th game of the season. Great game as Lee tossed a gem, like he was throwing at the start of the season. No runs, five hits, no walks, in a complete game. Might be time to start thinking contract extension. He has only 2 years left here.

We were originally slated for the Party Deck. In some weird sort of circumstances, we must have been the only ones to purchase seats in that section for the evening. So much for that September sale they ran online. Anyhow, when we arrived, the section was "open to the public". I found that strange, because there was free food involved. Then we were sent upstairs to the picnic area in the Mezzanine, where the guy told us he was under the impression The Party Deck was closed for the evening. We eventually got in after a discussion. Since I had not had anything to eat, I immediately grabbed a hot dog, a chicken wing and a pulled pork sandwich. Scarfing that down in no time, we were then approached by an Indians employee (I told my Dad, "We're about to be harassed again!") who told us our seats were being upgraded...TO CLUB SEATS!!!

If they had only come five minutes (maybe seconds) earlier, I would not have had all of that food. I had to then pinch myself because the customer service from that point on was unreal. "Oh, we've been waiting for you." "We heard that you might be joining us." "If you need anything, just ask." WTF? I didn't know I was coming here until 2 minutes ago. But, no, they kept reminding us there was free food. They must have thought we had just come off the boat or something. Of course, I was not going to let all of the food go by, so it was cups of popcorn, Cracker Jack, some ice cream, and a slice of pizza. All that while enjoying a really good game.

What started out to be a clusterfuck ended on a really high note.

Meal of Links

"Flight of the Conchords" may only do 10 more episodes. That would be a major problem for me, I think.

American adaptations of British TV shows. Great clip of "Sanford and Son". Ditto "Fawlty Towers".

All about steak.

I've run into this guy in more theaters than I can remember. I'm gonna miss him.



He's on the record saying this was his favorite trailer:



Exercise Yard

Behind the scenes with Tony Stewart. I have to go to Rolling Stone for great stuff like this?

Visitor

20 Across: Poem set in Mudville (13 letters) Answer: Casey At The Bat

Well, it looks like Gustav has made landfall. One criticism I have of today's coverage is that you heard repeatedly that "things were OK". What happened to "Let's wait for potential flooding before we all do the Happy Dance."?

For trustworthy coverage, go to the Times-Picayune site.

Today's silly coverage provided by Michelle Kosinski. Remember, she was the one who was in "a flood" in a canoe years ago, when people went WALKING by. So, maybe she deserves this beating from the elements:



And be sure to watch Geraldo on Fox News. I was at Best Friend's yesterday and this guy is a pleasure to watch in a natural disaster. He was the Fox Sunday Night main guy and he kept having technical difficulties and would repeatedly ask his fellow reporters where they were "hunkering down". So, we came up with "Geraldo Hunker Haiku". I happened to see him this morning in the middle of Canal Street with a wind gauge. "Look at this...66...63...67...59..." as he pointed the instrument towards the heavens. Compelling TV.

Meal of Links

I was at the Taste of Cleveland on Saturday. An increased number of food vendors this year, I'm happy to say. I was having some gastric troubles earlier in the day, so I mainly went to drink this year. But I did sample Buffalo Chicken Egg rolls from Willoughby Brewing, Sushi (once again!) from Otani, and Chicken Wings from Just Like Mom's. All very good and I didn't need a stomach pump later.

Squeeze, yes, that Squeeze, was the entertainment. Remember when Difford and Tilbrook were the next Lennon/McCartney? In all my years of attending these Saturday night events, this was the most poorly attended music portion. And, after they played "Tempted", things got really empty. I know they like to have '80s Night, but look for Classic Rock to return on Saturday next time. Having said that, I kinda liked the show. Lasted 90 minutes and there were enough of the 45s played to make it worthwhile. Hey, it was $5. A steal. And I want the yellow suit.

Songs by Squeeze that we knew and obliged me by playing:

"If I Didn't Love You" (Always fun for group sing-along)
"I Think I'm Go Go"
Take Me I'm Yours (Press Play)
"Cool For Cats"
"Separate Beds"
"Another Nail In My Heart"
"Tempted"
"Pulling Mussels from a Shell" (Mr. Mix on lead vocal for the chorus)
"Black Coffee in Bed" (Superb backup vocals by me)

It's so confusing. Sarah Palin's daughter is pregnant. Is, not was. Or is that Was (Not Was)? Anyhow, why did it take three days for this to come out and then bury it under the news of Gustav?

I seem to have lots of conversations with many people regarding pills for all of our ills. Therefore, this was a good read.

Exercise Yard

Miss Sprint Cup kills me. Have you seen her? She is the one who stands behind the winner of the race, and while he is being interviewed, she smiles and nods approvingly as if she's part of the winning team. Now, I see her creeping into the background on network interviews. Look for her at the end of the next race. It's a hoot.

Speaking of cars, check out Mario driving the Lotus John Player Special in Sweden in 1979. Those Lotuses were beautiful.



Visitor

1 Down: Playboy founder, familiarly (3 letters) Answer: Hef