So, the Browns still haven't picked a Quarterback. Is that really going to make a difference this year? There was one key stat glossed over after the Browns beat the Titans, 23-17, last night.

The third preseason game has now become the highly-regarded "dress rehearsal" for the season. Probably a ploy to sell tickets these days, as even the Browns fans either have given up on full fare for preseason games or come disguised as orange seats. But the starters do have their most extended stint of the preseason during this game and some use this as a harbinger of things to come.

So, as the Browns fandom fellates each other because they think they've found a new starting QB, Brady Quinn, keep this in mind. The defense gave up 201 yards in the first half and should have been losing by a score of at least, 13-3 (more likely, 17-3), at the half.

OK, that didn't happen and the defense somehow gets a teeny bit of credit for that. But if you value highly what you saw last night, then be prepared for the better teams in the league shredding them.

If you're thinking the Browns are playing it close to the vest and showing nothing, then you have no worries. I say wake me up before Game 1 and then we can start the honest evaluations.

Meal of Links

Hey, we're almost a big city. Cleveland now has a beer week. Looks like it'll be easy to find a cheap pint that week.

The smells of New York. My favorite: "A medicinal-smelling person" on the Upper East Side.

Let's say you wanna cheat for your friends in baseball. Could you get away with it? Ask Miguel Tejada.

Exercise Yard

What the hell is going on with the University of Michigan? I guess they don't like Rich Rodriguez very much.

Visitor

None, on a Sunday that reminded me of early spring.

I visited my doctor yesterday. He had this neat machine for taking blood pressure. The nurse told me they use this machine now to eliminate any factors that may influence the reading. I guess that means if she was Nurse Goodbody or the common white-coat syndrome.

Anyhow, it's on wheels and you sit in your chair instead of getting up and sitting on the table. They cuff you, she turns the machine on and leaves the room. After several seconds, it starts. It then takes your BP at six different intervals and they take the average for your reading. The nurse doesn't do the math, she only has to press a button for the results.

I told her that machine was a great idea. She said, "It has to be. It costs $20,000." I replied, "So much for home use."

The name of the product is BpTRU. Comes from a Canadian company. I thought they bad healthcare up there.

Meal of Links

By taking some time off to get to the doctor in the afternoon, I was able to round up my Dad and we went to a late afternoon showing of "Inglourious Basterds". I absolutely loved this film. It shows that Quentin Tarantino still has it. It has all the hallmarks of his movies: Great casting, superior writing, major soundtrack attention (Sergio Leone stuff, yeah!), character nicknames (The Bear Jew, Aldo the Apache) and, of course, violence. My Dad liked it, as well, and said afterward he had never seen a movie like it.

And what would you expect from a Jewish revenge movie against the Nazis? Brad Pitt, recovered from Benjamin Button, played Aldo Raine (yes, Aldo Ray played in all those war movies). The scene where he speaks Italian is a comedic gem. The SS guy, Christoph Waltz, is a real baddie. You know, the guy who always seems to already know the answers to the questions he asks. Outside of Brad Pitt, B.J. Novak, Mike Myers and a brief appearance by Rod Taylor as Winston Churchill, I don't think I recognized anyone. I heard the voices of Samuel L. on some narration and it was definitely Harvey Keitel on a phone. But it was well-cast and well-acted.

A lot has been written about the violence. I thought it wasn't that bad. Oh, yes, they take some Nazi scalps, there is a bad beating and there is some carving going on. But, in a long movie, these scenes may have taken 2 minutes. Mostly, it's a shoot 'em up.

I had a great time at this one. The tension is there throughout, there are enough laughs in it, and Bowie's "Cat People" gets some prime exposure.

What an anniversary. It's exactly one year since Palin haunted us.

I like these two people. Good for them.

Finally. The VA fights back against these ridiculous charges made by Fox and the Republican Party. This crap about "death panels" and "encouraging vets to commit suicide" is insane.

Speaking of Insane...



Exercise Yard

F1 has something unique in store for the Abu Dhabi finale. They'll finish the race at night.

Visitor

23 Across: Barry who played Lt. Gerard on TV's "The Fugitive" (5 letters) Answer: Morse

A hat tip to Drew. This Twitter is one of the funniest I've read. Shit My Dad Says. This sparked a conversation at work about what our respective Dads say.

A co-worker told me his Dad actually said this out of the blue last week: "Why do we even need banks?".

And I can't tell you how many times I've had this conversation:

My Dad: "I was listening to that asshole on the radio today."
Me: "Triv?"
My Dad: "No, that other asshole."

Meal of Links

Here are some things that Windows 7 does. That Vista cannot.

A&E takes over Lifetime. Won't be long before we see Bill Kurtis looking for the Internet in these Lifetime movies.

Joyce Carol Oates writes about Ted Kennedy. A polarizing figure to be sure. All you needed to know about that was reading the comments section of your online daily newspaper.

The future home of the Toronto Film Festival looks neat. I think I'll go there some day.

Exercise Yard

Since the Browns start play in a few weeks, get ready. Here are your CBS Announce Teams. And, word is, all CBS games will be in HD this year. Halle-fuckin'-lujah!

Remember to use "The worse we are, the lower we go" scale for Browns announcers:

Jim Nantz, Phil Simms
Greg Gumbel, Dan Dierdorf
Dick Enberg, Dan Fouts
Kevin Harlan, Solomon Wilcots
Ian Eagle, Rich Gannon
Gus Johnson, Steve Tasker
Don Criqui, Randy Cross
Bill Macatee, Steve Beuerlein

Fouts moves up. Gannon moves from Harlan and Cross drops way down to Criqui, because of his college duties on CBS College Sports (you know, that channel you never watch).

An FYI, the Browns first game against the Vikings is on Fox. They seem to be sticking with that as a one o'clocker, even with Favre. Thom Brennaman (of Tim Tebow fame) and Brian Billick have the call.

Visitor

3 Down: The Red Storm of the Big East Conference (7 letters) Answer: St. John's

I really don't mind Frank Caliendo. In doses. But I was surprised to hear he signed a 10-year deal to do voices in Las Vegas. I'm guessing he didn't get stupid money, but I heard him on 1100 recently (he lives in Avon Lake or did), and he kept talking about how his crowds were down. Conveniently blamed the economy, as well, and not those pesky "Frank TV" ads from a couple of years back.

So, prices start at $59 at the Monte Carlo. I say good for him. I just hope in year 10 people remember the voices like Bush and Madden, otherwise there will be a lot of head-scratching going on at his shows.

Meal of Links

The NYTimes restaurant critic has some tips in his last column. "Scratch off the appetizers and entrees that are most like dishes you’ve seen in many other restaurants, because they represent this one at its most dutiful, conservative and profit-minded. The chef’s heart isn’t in them."

These people were polled by AARP about healthcare coverage. And 86% want everyone covered. Good to see common sense rules over the Fox talk of covered abortions and illegal alien coverage. Note how the coverage has shifted from the old-timers to the vets now.

You've got questions? They've got answers.

Exercise Yard

Ohio State says, "Don't boo the Midshipmen." OK, that'll last, what, three seconds.

Visitor

47 Across: James of "The Godfather" (4 letters) Answer: Caan

Yesterday, I had to yell at a kid who, with his cronies, was treating one of those Planet Aid drop boxes as his own personal shopping mall. I saw him take a toy and his friends were actually trying on clothes that someone left. I thought they were just going to haul away a box or two. Don't they know these collections are for the poor, the affirmed and maybe the indigent?

The kid apologized right away, so he knew he did wrong. Otherwise, I would have called the authorities. OK, so I didn't know the authorities number. But, I would have called somebody.

And stay off my lawn, too.

Meal of Links

Watch out when looking for Jessica Biel via the Internet. That girl is poison. She is the most dangerous downloadable celebrity because of viruses.

Mark Cuban shows us how the Internet will change. Looks like real-time news and updates are coming.

An excellent account of the US torture tactics. Indefensible.

Roger Ebert with a great piece about his alcoholism. He also throws in a clip from "Clean and Sober", a long ago fave of mine with Michael Keaton and my first recognition of Morgan Freeman.

BTW, beer prices are going up.

Here are some schools that can kill you. Good to see some love for "The Faculty" and Twin Peaks High. But where is "The Substitute", Tom Berenger?

It won't be long before Michael Jackson's doctor gets charged. Seems he was more than an enabler.

America's Douchiest Colleges. And not one of them is on West 6th.

Exercise Yard

In case you had not noticed, the NBA still doesn't have a new contract with its referees. Hard to tell if that's real trouble yet.

Visitor

43 Across: '80s animated character assisted by the seven Color Kids (12 letters) Answer: Rainbow Brite

Randomness from last night's Browns home preseason opener:

Special Guest: My brother, Jeff. Since this is the only one of the two home preseason games that I am attending, I thought I'd get him down there. He's always had a thing for the Lions anyhow, so there you have it.

The Browns Commissioned Warhol to do a Mangini
















Today's Opponent: The Detroit Lions. That means only one thing. It's the GLC, baby! The GLC is the Great Lakes Classic. Each year, the Browns play the Lions in a preseason game. I think each team donates some money to charity. They also play for a trophy...of a barge. I'm not even sure the winner displays it proudly. As the song says: "Never has a game that meant so little meant so much...G-L-C!"

Last night, that meant the Lions come to Cleveland Browns Stadium for this year's renewal. After the debacle in Green Bay last week, the Browns need to show something, especially on defense.

Realistically though, it's preseason, so I don't really care.

Parking: Went really early as I usually do for the first game, so I grabbed a spot on East 6th southbound by Public Hall. This is known in the street parking biz as "great spot".

Browns Player on Ticket: As I said when my tickets arrived, there are no player photos on the tickets this year. So, consider this segment from now on, retired.

Yep, I Was Early

















Pre-Game Festivities: This may have been the earliest I have ever arrived. There was an army of friskers waiting for me when I got there. I swear I was one of the first 150 in the place. And, this year, I got touched. I think I was actually tickled by the guy. Needless to say, I won't be in his line ever again.

What I noticed was the music was a lot louder this year. Old farts prepare! I heard "The Ocean" by Led Zeppelin on my way in. They also played "Signs". They followed that with some "Born To Run". Then they played a medley of country favorites, then during calisthenics turned on some hip-hop for the players.

Worst Feature (For Me): We were long gone before "Hang on Sloopy" was played at the end of the third quarter. Christ, it's only three more weeks before I have to hear that song in person at the OSU-Toledo game.

Bad Moon Rising

















The Weather: Don't know if this is standard for 2009, but both Marky Nolan and Hollie Strano were on the mike. This may have been because Strano appeared to be hammered. The radar, much like Strano's empty glass, showed nothing.

But it rained hard on the way down there. By the time I got Downtown though, it had subsided. It looked ominous to the west, but never materialized into any rain. It was actually some fairly pleasant weather, probably in the mid-to-upper 60s by gametime.

Today's Giveaway: There wasn't any, or maybe they had not unpacked it yet when I got there.

Section 345: I always like to see who has decided to carry over their tickets from previous seasons. I saw ONE familiar face. Now, it is a game for lots of one-timers, so I'll have a better handle on this when Minnesota is here for the opener.

Unfortunately, I had Jimmy Donovan, Jr. sitting near me. You know, one of those loudmouths who has to demonstrate his knowledge to the rest of us while delivering cogent expert analysis. Like, "Hey, defense, you can't let that guy stand there forever. He had 7 seconds to throw that ball." Now, everyone else around thought that, but he needed to yell it. An aside to Jeff: "We are winning 20 to nothing in a preseason game, aren't we?" Gems like "That was a terrible throw there." and "That was a good call, ref."

Way too fuckin' serious for the GLC, I say.

Best Browns Play: The Josh Cribbs New Contract play, the punt return for 84 yards. We had previously talked about the 2-man wedge on NFL kickoff returns the year and how that might hurt Cribbs return yardage. And that he was going to have to be more of a factor on plays from scrimmage to get that bigger contract he has been threatening to hold out for. Kickoff return yardage was down in the first week, but Cribbs blew that theory to hell by running back the opening kick for a TD. Unfortunately, the Browns had a penalty, nullifying that return.

But the punt return was a thing of beauty. Showcasing Cribbs' speed, cutback ability and strength to shed tacklers. Forget Eric Metcalf. Cribbs is the best return man the Browns have ever had.

Best Lions Play: Sadly, for the Lions, it was before the opening kick. As Jeff rightly pointed out, I haven't seen a professional team direct their full attention to the National Anthem in quite some time.

The players, including the injured ones, lined up at attention along the sideline. The coaching staff and trainers and equipment staff lined up a few yards behind the players. Of course, the Browns are in a line, but it is more of a serpentine fashion than anything else.

It was as if the spirit of Bud Grant had been channeled by the Lions. Very impressive.

The Fans Come Out Of A Tunnel, Too

















Worst Browns Play: Probably the Derek Anderson inteception. It was high and a little bit quick, but the running back tipped it up, ending the Browns 2-minute drill. There was time for the Lions to run one play, a field goal, which they made, giving the Lionsan undeserved thre points before the half.

Second Worst Browns Play: They do not serve beer at the Gridiron Grille or Browns Town after the half.

Worst Lions Play: Matthew Stafford's interception to Eric Wright. Ran a decent fake, but when he rolled to his right, no one was open. he sees a trailing cutter, then fires a pass to him. But Wright on a gift interception easily leaves his man and grabs the ball.

Best Line from Me (seeing another Reuben Droughns jersey): "That guy's the head of the Droughns Family. He's Grandpa Droughns."

Best Line from the Ref: "Detroit has choosed to kick off." Jerome Boger was the ref, and Jeff suggested he may be the first one who needs subtitles.

Oddest Browns Jersey: Since there were lots of one-timers there, this list is exhaustive: 2 Couch, 5 Garcia, 9 Frye, 11 Dorsey, 24 Fuller (Yes, someone with a Corey Fuller jersey), 34 Droughns, 41 Prentice, 44 Suggs, 54 Spielman, 55 McGinest, 69 Mr. Joe (Remember this number was worn proudly by Your Mom, Beef and Uncle Drew last year), 84 Jurevicius, 85 K. Johnson, 92 C.Brown, 95 Miller.

Food Items: Jeff bought me a Mountain Dew. But his food take was a hot dog, nachos and a pop. All that for $19.50. Nachos $6.75, Soda $4.25, Hot Dog $4.25. Beer is $7.00 from a vendor.

Best Fan Cam Feature: Nothing stood out.

Most Interesting Music: Instead of playing the traditional "Jeopardy" theme during a disputed call on replay, this thunderbolt was sent over the P.A.

"Controversy" by Prince! The 20th Century welcomes you, Cleveland Browns music provider.

The Fuckin' Run: Didn't even care to notice.

Future Champions Milling About
















Penalties: The holding on the Cribbs kickoff return cost the Browns 7 points. Mike Furrey lost a first down on an illegal formation penalty on the line. Brady Quinn suffered that penalty and another hold on the line while he was in there.

Now, all that took place in the first half, because we left to meet up with She Who Cuts My Hair for some beers at The ClubHouse Pub and Grub. Which is also known for their Chicken Paprikash. I don't eat that, so I had the potato skins.

All in all, it was what I expected from the GLC. Derek Anderson took advantage of the start and played reasonably well. Brady Quinn had zero momentum. James Davis took advantage of a Jerome Harrison injury and busted open an 81-yard TD run. Cribbs was great. The defense with many newcomers was pumped up in front of the home crowd and did OK. But I caution everyone. It was the Lions.

Meal of Links

Who do you blame for film noir? Even Hitler is on the list.

Men will spend one year of their lives staring at women. Who volunteers for these studies?

Guess I have to change my Swiss Bank account. I've always thought that was one of the coolest movie tricks. You mention "Swiss Bank account" and the intrigue is ratcheted up by at least a thousand percent.

Exercise Yard

NASCAR drivers now have their own intro music. Mark Martin has AC/DC!

Visitor

None, on a typical summer Sunday.

I cannot help it. Eric Wedge is driving me insane. I think it's the lack of shaving.

Yesterday, he offered this quote: "He's a consummate pro. He's somebody his teammates can look to for guidance. In a season that's been very hectic, he's been the one constant." Who is he talking about? Jamey Carroll, "The Elf".

Those are the type of comments you expect to hear from a championship club, not some team looking for discarded cigarettes to smoke. Wedge also compared Carroll to (The Dreaded) Casey Blake, in terms of clubhouse presence and the willingness to take up any position at any time. Casey Blake's Legacy: Ryan Garko and Carroll as outfielders. Or maybe that's Lou Merloni's Legacy (he actually spent time in LF in 2004). Or maybe even Bill Selby's Legacy (he spent time in the outfield in 2002 and 2003). Talk about grinders!

Meal of Links

Yesterday, Pitchfork completed its list of the best tracks of the century. Numbers 50-21 are here and the Top 20 are here. This was a really good compilation, and they are spot on with many of the hip-hop selections, as well. I thought "Seven Nation Army" could have done better than Number 30, because it's now one of the most recognizable songs worldwide. I can see "Crazy" at #11, probably the best word-of-mouth song this decade. I see much love, too, for LCD Soundsystem and OutKast and that's not bad.

Lou Dobbs has an epiphany on healthcare. Sort of.

It's back to the land of one-armed drummers, butter sandwiches, drug overdoses and band breakups. Yep, it's the return of "Behind The Music". First up: Lil Wayne on 9/10.

Joel Stein talks about Las Vegas. Kind of a strange place these days.

Thomas Jones of the Jets just loves to watch "The Golden Girls". I don't think I've ever seen that show.

Exercise Yard

Here is the Cleveland Indians organizational depth chart.

I think there is some promise at these positions:

Catcher: Santana is the real deal. Marson will eventually be here.

Second Base: Jason Donald (Lee trade) is back on the DL. Uh-oh.

Third Base: Hodges and don't forget Chisenhall.

Outfield: Brantley.

Starting Pitching: Rondon, Carrasco, Knapp, Hagadone, Graham.

Relief Pitching: Keep your eye on Francisco Jimenez at Lake County.

Visitor

14 Across: Role in the film "W." (7 letters) Answer: Jeb Bush

Have you been paying attention to "Crankshaft" lately? Seriously, what kind of a mindfuck is this comic strip? I never read the comics anymore. The Diversions section of the PD is there simply for me to do the Jumble, Sudoku and the Crossword.

But a few weeks ago, old Crankshaft is really old. They jump into the future and there's our hero, in a nursing home! Wheeled out to the curb to attend a ballgame. WTF?

Then the following week, I noticed Crankshaft was out in his garden and there was some huge snake about to, I don't know, bite, strangle or eat Crankshaft. Then this little dog took the hit for him and rescued him. Then the heroic dog got saved by the vet. Was that a dog he hated up to that point? I have no idea and can't say for sure. I thought it was gonna end like the Euclid lady beating that fawn, but it did not.

Then, he was lecturing people about bees or something. Sort of Seniors Show and Tell.

Now this week, Crankshaft is fretting about some corn that he grows, sells on the black market, or takes unsuspecting senior ladies into and has his way with them. I can't figure this old dude out. And what happened to comics that made you laugh? Like "Herman"? That guy was funny.

Meal of Links

You asked for it, now you have it! It's truckspills.com.

Mexico now has legal possession for some drugs. This includes marijuana, heroin, cocaine, even meth and LSD.

Krugman wants the public option for healthcare. But admits "it’s possible to have universal coverage without a public option — several European nations do it — and some who want a public option might be willing to forgo it if they had confidence in the overall health care strategy. Unfortunately, the president’s behavior in office has undermined that confidence."

Might Apple deliver us a TV set. Well, we know it would look good (at a cost), but will it deliver the goods?

Kraftwerk is putting out a box set. Now, where is my "Pocket Calculator"?

Exercise Yard

Grady Sizemore's drinking elbow looks healthy, but I mean, he's drunk. I don't know Playmates, but I guess that's a Kendra friend next to him.

Also, these pix were from Seattle. The Indians were there a week before his birthday. And, of course, you know Grady "the gamer", never misses a game even with his gout-like elbow this year. But, amazingly enough, he missed the Saturday game that weekend and the first two games in Anaheim because "he was ill". Mmmmmm.

Visitor

60 Down: Shanghai-born NBAer (3 letters) Answer: Yao

I watched Usain Bolt break another World Record today. This time at 200 meters. It's like Robert Duvall playing Max Mercy in "The Natural": "I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s incredible! Anything he wants to do, he does!"

First of all, he comes out in a warmup with the line, "Ich bin ein Berlino", in tribute to the goofy World Championship mascot, Berlino. Then in the intros, he yells, "Come get me!".

Then he runs the race. I can't put it into the words. Makes up the stagger on the turn, in, oh, only about 30 meters. Then he keeps widening his lead. He runs a 19.19! Records falling in the 200 are rare and now he's done it twice in a year. The rest of the field is running in the 19.8's. That is beyond comprehension.

Then after the race, he starts clowning around with the mascot. Hey, Berlino does a nice lightning bolt, I must say. OK, Bolt and Berlino lining up and racing was a bit much, but I can't remember anyone lately in track with the charisma that this guy has.

I've already decided that I gotta see this guy in person.

Yeah, He's Fast



Meal of Links

Lookee here. Cleveland Browns Stadium made the latest cut of venues that may host World Cup matches if the USA wins a bid in 2018 or 2022. Looks like Detroit is our closest rival.

How Rotten Tomatoes has changed film criticism. "District 9" has caused the latest dustup.

Not really anything we didn't know already. But Tom Ridge admits he was pressured to raise terror alerts. Whatever happened to those pesky things?

I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those annoying Facebookers.

Hey, whatever happened to those kids from "Slumdog Millionaire"? Shouldn't we have waited a little bit longer to ask that?

Exercise Yard

Shaq stole the idea of "Shaq Vs." from Steve Nash. Don't worry, Nash is getting paid.

Visitor

26 Across: RFK Stadium soccer team (8 letters) Answer: DC United

Matt LaPorta finally got called up by the Indians today, But coming from either Toledo or Columbus (still in our state, I think), he was not in the starting lineup today. What, did he make a wrong turn at Albuquerque?

Wedgie quote:" At-bats before September are always a little different than in September."

How long does this guy have left?

Meal of Links

Might be a surprise to some. But Ted Olson is trying to overturn California's Prop 8.

Viewing the world from a 45-degree angle. The photos are pretty neat.

What obese people do at the buffet. Besides eat.

I saw "Big Trouble in Little China" recently. It's still a whole lotta WTF?

Oh, Canada! The Great White North is becoming a leading producer and exporter of illegal synthetic drugs. 62% of meth seized in Japan comes from Colombia North, er, Canada.

More of Pitchfork's best songs of the aughts here (where I liked 184, 177, 174, 158, 154 (and I still can't believe I am missing that Beachland concert next month), 151, 130, 116) and here (where I liked 99, 88, 78, 72, 69, 61, 58 (crank it!), and 53).

Have fun with this anagram generator. Wyatt Toregas = A Grotty Sweat.

Here's a question you probably didn't ask this week. What's A-ha up to?

Mozart may have died from strep throat. I thought that was a 20th-century invention.

More employers are now screening social networking sites. And a few really hate your use of emoticons.

Bill Simmons saw the US-Mexico soccer Match last week. He is fairly accurate in his descriptions of the crowd, the security, the stadium itself, the nationalistic pride. I've been in Azteca Stadium and those memories have not left me all these years later.

Exercise Yard

I've been watching the IAAF World Championships from Berlin this week, but one question remains. Is this a guy?

Visitor

31 Across: Slapstick actors, e.g. (6 letters) Answer: Zanies

How did Tiger Woods lose the PGA yesterday? Probably conservative play on Saturday combined with poor putting on Sunday. for a while, it looked like he might achieve a golf rarity: Winning a tournament with ascending scores through four rounds.

Especially when the back nine turned into essentially a match play tournament. But Y.E. Yang (OK, how many Yin and Yang headlines today?) hung in there and played mainly steady, unspectacular golf. Except for the two most spectacular shots of the tournament, the eagle chip on 14, and the soon-to-be-historic approach shot on 18. Those two shots alone superceded Tiger's bladed wedge birdie on Saturday and Paddy Harrington's 300-yard fairway bunker shot to within 6 feet on Friday. Those shots will now fade into oblivion.

I'm a Tiger honk, so I was surprised by all of the choke talk and I expect that will drive him to win every tournament he enters the rest of his life. Not really, but I imagine that talk pisses him off. But golf is probably the only sport where we want the big guns to win. Even in an individual sport like tennis, the crowd loves it when the underdog comes through. In golf though, rarely does the underdog maintain his level of play after a surprise major win. Although Zach Johnson, after his Masters win, seems to hang around a lot of leaderboards, he doesn't win anything.

These are the best three lines I saw after the tournament:

Yang: "It's not like you're in an octagon where you're fighting against Tiger and he's going to bite you or swing at you with his 9-iron."

Since the tournament was held in Minnesota and Tiger lost, Norm Coleman was demanding a recount.

Y.E. Yang is Korean for Bob May. (You'll have to look up Bob May to get that one.)

Meal of Links

What does it take to truly disappear? With a subplot of a guy who tried to fake his death.

Hard to believe, but almost 10 years in and we are starting to see best-of-the-century lists. Pitchfork is looking at the Top 500 tracks since 2000. Boy, if you have some extra time, go through this list. There are some really good tunes I've liked that made it. Like #441, 407, 378, 342, 338, 261, 251, 244, 204 and 201 among a whole lot of others. Sign up for lala to hear them all, it's easy.

You can't watch "The Wire" with subtitles. I don't care what country you're in.

Exercise Yard

I still cannot comprehend that Usain Bolt ran 100 meters in less than 9.6 seconds. I have watched track for a long time and seen all of the greats, but that is unbelievable. Tyson Gay ran an American record in 9.71 and got smoked!

Bolt is so relaxed and goofing around before a race and Gay is so intense. But how must Gay feel. He has run faster than any man on the planet. Except for one. And he will never beat that one guy.

But Bolt may be the one guy who can spark some interest in track in a non-Olympic year. Even the intros of the contestants are starting to get creative, except for Gay, who remains all business. I don't know if Bolt can save track & field, but that race yesterday was freakish.

Bolt on the Blue Track



Visitor

1 Across: Sandler of "Funny People" (4 letters) Answer: Adam

Random thoughts on the Browns game tonight:

The Most Interesting Mangini in the World had his usual game face on in the first preseason game. Won't change expression all year, regardless of the outcome.

Oh, God! The North Olmsted Nissan guy has now infiltrated my TV.

How's Beau Bell's motor?

Indians aside: Why does Chris Gimenez play while Andy Marte sits? Why is Jamey Carroll playing rightfield? Why did Fox insist today the player the Indians miss most is Casey Blake? That's right, not CC, not Cliff Lee, not Victor Martinez, but Casey Blake. Why does Dick Stockton call Choo "Soo" as in "Soo scores." Why do I still care?

I think we lead the league in hair.

Mike Furrey will have more catches than Braylon Edwards this year.

Brady Quinn with an interception in the endzone is inexcusable. But it should not have happened because Edwards dropped an easy TD on the previous play.

Derek Anderson threw two balls that had better hangtime than Don Cockroft's punts. One was incomplete, the other picked off.

Brett Ratliff...yikes! There was talk of him being a clearcut Number Two QB. How, may I ask?

Need I even say it? The fuckin' run! Green Bay had 47 attempts for 230 yards, a 6.2 average. And they say it's a new era for the Browns.

Penalties. Yep, the newly-disciplined Browns had an early penalty that cost them a field goal. Hank Fraley had to choose his poison there. Hook a guy or let him block the kick. He hooked him. I noticed him doing laps one quarter later. Ivy took a defensive holding penalty on a 4th down incompletion to keep another Packer drive going. He should be cut to send a message. First-round pick Alex Mack tossed in a holding penalty in the second half for good measure.

Those brown pants need a stripe, no?

Was Jim Donovan even watching the game? It's bad when Drunk Bernie has to correct you. Donovan didn't know Matt Flynn caught his own pass, claimed Ahtyba Rubin had a good game going when he had only one tackle and was basically steamrolled for a half, and after Drunk Bernie mentioned Alex Mack snapped a ball a count early, Donovan responded with a "That's interesting." when it was clear that's actually what happened if you had watched the damn play!

Drunk Bernie's meds really kicked in tonight. Did a great job especially with that postgame "God bless anyone who's still awake." comment. Never heard him as critical as he was tonight. And they deserved it all.

Bad day for Randy Lerner. Randy Lerner's Other Team was also embarrassed in their home opener today. The Browns have as many points as Aston Villa who lost to Wigan, 2-0. They will be trading their Charlie Frye tomorrow.

I can't think of all that much that was good today. Mike Furrey might be our Wes Welker. Josh Cribbs had a nice run on a reverse, but that was about it. Thought the first-string defense looked shaky. Quinn did try and involve everyone not named Braylon Edwards in the offense.

Overall, pretty dismal. The Browns lose to Green bay, 17-0, in a game that was much worse.

Next week, I will be attending the GLC, for a closer look.

Meal of Links

Bad times for the porn industry.

If you think "Mad Men" offers nostalgia, try fake Jimmy Barrett's Twitter. You get Joey Bishop and Buddy Hackett references.

How was the music at Woodstock? Uh...er...um...not so good. XM has had a Woodstock Channel this weekend and I did hear Sly Stone telling everyone their equipment was not working as planned. But they kicked ass anyway.

Exercise Yard

What a treat to see the EPL early this morning with Chelsea-Hull City in wonderful HD. Thanks, ESPN.

All the matches started with a minute of applause in tribute to Sir Bobby Robson. I do like the minute of applause instead of the moment of silence.

Visitor

53 Down: Australian cager Andrew who was selected first overall in the 2005 NBA draft (5 letters) Answer: Bogut

I knew it. I'm sure it's only a temporary boost, but who the hell knows for sure. The health of Ronnie Biggs has taken a turn for the better, now that he has been released from prison.

Maybe he and Kevorkian can gave a beer together.

Now Scotland is releasing the Lockerbie bomber, another Dead Pool selection on his deathbed, on compassionate grounds. We'll probably see him streetside at some Libyan cafe soon. Aaaargh!

Meal of Links

Revisiting "Dead Ringers". I haven't seen this one in a while, but is unbelievably eerie.

American healthcare "killed my father".

George Costanza: They wish. I hate the big brokerage houses. Hate them with a passion. Big brokerage houses killed my father.

Woman on Subway: Really?

George Costanza: Well, they hurt him bad. Really hurt his feelings. It's a long story. I- I don't like to talk about it, but I swore then that I would never work for big brokerage houses.

"Warriors, Come out to plaaaay!" Can you dig it? There's a Warriors reunion later this month and they are charging only $20! Let's take that train to Coney!

Dave Grohl's new band, Them Crooked Vultures, has this snippet of a video out:



A recap of their first show.

The great Les Paul died today. Truly a genius.

The Seth MacFarlane interview from Playboy. Psst, Stewie's gay! Shocking.

Songs About Girls



Exercise Yard

Tiger Woods starts the PGA in beautiful fashion. Let's hope he keeps it going.

Visitor

7 Down: Born 8/13/1899, he directed the answers to the starred clues (15 letters) Answer: Alfred Hitchcock

What do you do when your odometer clicks to 100,000 miles? Well, you try and document the moment.

















I'm actually doing about 80 on I-480 between the State and Brookpark exits right there. And, yes, I wish my camera on my phone was better.

Meal of Links

The math of gambling. yes, you have to work it at.

Good shows, but yet they have terrible episodes once in a while. The one of "the Office" they cited was a strange one.

Mr. Skin says these are the Top 100 Nude Scenes of all time. Covers most of the usual suspects, I imagine.

GEICO bids adieu to to advertising on Glenn Beck. That's now 6 who have jumped ship.

Obama is literally Hitler. Very funny stuff.

Exercise Yard

FIGJAM believes in time travel. Couldn't he go into the future, read a headline about him losing the PGA this week and come back and try and fix it?

Visitor

10 Down: Grammy-winning country singer Ronnie (6 letters) Answer: Milsap

Since it was very hot today, I decided to stay cool and catch up on some sports on TV. Started with the Community Shield match this morning. Alternated between the Indians-White Sox game and the IRL race from Mid-Ohio and then went over to my Dad's to catch the end of the golf from Firestone. You know, he always has iced tea on hand.

Anyhow, Tiger Woods is stumbling around after he was on fire earlier in the round and Paddy Harrington looked like he was gonna make a match of it. Then came the 16th hole. First two shots were hacked up the fairway by both players until Woods hit the shot of the week popping one in there real close. Meanwhile, Harrington goes over the green, chips one into the water, goes back to the fairway, takes a drop and throws another one over the green and eventually gets an 8, the old snowman.

Then we find out later Woods and Harrington were put on the clock on the 16th tee for slow play. Harrington reacted as if he was gonna be fined, penalized or maybe even deported by taking no time to study any of his shots, which were all tough. This with the tournament on the line! Unbelievable. Total overreaction.

Oh yeah, he ended up losing to Tiger.

Meal of Links

This past week, Huffington Post excerpted a chapter from the latest John Waters book. It was about his friendship with Leslie Van Houten. It's a lengthy read, but I found it fascinating.

Bill Simmons visited the National Sports Collector Convention that was at the IX Center a couple of weeks back. Be sure to look through the photo gallery. "There are sausage fests, there are mega-sausage fests and then there's the National Sports Collectors Convention. You have a better chance of meeting your future wife in an all-male penitentiary during a Gay Pride parade."

An American Hero has died. That's right, the former Master Distiller from Jack Daniel's has died.

Exercise Yard

Chelsea and Manchester United battled in the Community Shield match today, and I gotta say, it was the best one in a long time. Man U dominated the first half, Chelsea the second and appeared to be on its way to a win, but Wayne Rooney came through with a late goal to send the match to penalties.

Chelsea were very cool and knocked in 4 penalties. Ryan Giggs took a terrible one for Man U, and Patrice Evra took quite possibly the worst penalty ever attempted. Think someone rolling a soccer ball directly to you. Slowly. What a gag job.

Chelsea wins on penalties, 4-1, after a 2-2 regulation.

The Penalties



Visitor

None, on an Africa hot Sunday.

Last night was a pretty fun evening. My brother won some tickets from WRUW, so it was "F-R-E-E, that spells free". And yes, it was the return of Brave Combo to the venerable Beachland Ballroom. The floor was cleared for dancing, and there were some who took advantage. I like the Beachland for they have Old Grand-Dad and many beers I like.

Brave Combo have been around for 30 years now, and although they state they are more than a polka band, there were plenty of polkas to keep everyone happy. But the styles they played were many. I heard: Polka, Tejano, Zydeco, Rock, Cumbia, Salsa, Country, Cha Cha, Tex-Mex, Blues, Meringue and even Klezmer.

They started with "Down At the Friendly Tavern", a Happy Dog favorite. You know, "Down at the friendly tavern, everyone's happy there."

A Cha cha version of "Louie, Louie"

A "Purple Haze, the Jimi Hendrix Polka".

"Ode to Joy" was done as a Bach waltz. Ah, Bach.

A "Peter Gunn/Pink Panther/Get Smart" medley.

Shoutouts to Cleveland-style polkas with "Just Because" and a couple of tunes from legends Stan Blout and Eddie Blazonczyk. Oh, and there were obetics, too.

"The Hokey Pokey" was performed, as well.

"The Tsamikos" was there if you wanted to get your Greek on. Without going to war, of course.

"Over The Rainbow" was a nice song-along.

As was "The Happy Wanderer" When was the last time you sang "Valderi, valdera"?

All I know is, last night at the Beachland, everyone was happy there.

Meal of Links

Roger Ebert with another brilliant review. "G.I. Joe" gets skewered.

Good tips on how to make that playlist rock. If you have the time, of course.

Seth MacFarlane says he would like to end "Family Guy" sooner than later. I ran into a rerun I hadn't seen the other day and thought it very funny.

Exercise Yard

Shaun Smith cut by the Browns. Yawn.

Visitor

36 Across: Washington address (15 letters) Answer: Mister President

For me, this news is very exciting. With Setanta imploding, ESPN has picked up, for the 2009-10 season, two of Setanta's EPL matches. The return of the 7:45 a.m. Saturday match on a channel I actually receive. Plus the Monday afternoon match. Both to be shown on ESPN2. I guess Charlie Moore just got beat. Outstanding!

Randy Lerner's Other Team, Aston Villa, gets 4 TV slots.

Here is the early Fox Soccer Channel schedule. Oooooh. Sunday night replays before "Dexter". Cool.

It all kicks off Sunday with the traditional Community Shield match for charity this Sunday.

Meal of Links

Perennial Dead Pool fave of mine, Ronnie Biggs (The Great Train Robber) is going to be released from prison. Ostensibly to die. But I've seen this before with Kevorkian. Dammit.

John Hughes died today. For someone who seemed like he had as many movies out as Judd Apatow, he only directed 8 movies. I remember in "Pretty in Pink" that Molly Ringwald was literally a girl from the other side of the tracks. "Do you realize that if we played by the rules we would be in gym class right now?" was my favorite line from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", although we all still know who Abe Froman is. "Sixteen Candles" was pretty good, I thought. I hated "Weird Science" though.

Coke vs Pepsi. Logo style.

Dylan does Christmas. Including "Must Be Santa", which I assume is the Brave Combo tune. Brave Combo? I am seeing them on Friday.

Christopher Walken has a message for you.

Cheaper prices vs. bad customer service. Does it influence our purchases?

Exercise Yard

Donte Stallworth says he's sorry. But as my Mom always told me, "Sorry doesn't clean it up."

Visitor

10 Down: Four-time ABA/NBA MVP, familiarly (3 letters) Answer: Dr. J "From! The University Of Mazzachushetts, number six, Captain of the Philadelphia 76ers Julius... The Doctor... Errrrrrrrrrving!!"

Have you ever thought of going paperless? Sometimes I look at my desk at work and think, oh yeah, that would be nice. But I tend to re-use a lot of paper. You know, print something I thought was important than use the backs for note-taking, writing lists, etc.

But here is a guide to going paperless. That converting to a PDF file hint may be a good thing.

Meal of Links

Twitter on the brain, I guess. But I did find this interesting. Why teens don't Tweet.

Hot-air balloons. Lots of 'em. World record even.

A farewell to Paula Abdul. Simon is the only one who can't leave. But if you're gonna re-up Seacrest for millions, well, someone's gotta go.

Murdoch says, "Damn the torpedoes", and will start charging for online content. Let's see how that works.

Exercise Yard

Kid tries pop-up slide in Little league. Fails. Tears up knee. Mom sues. Wins $125,000. No, really.

Visitor

41 Across: Kilmer of "The Saint" (3 letters) Answer: Val

"Kiss Kiss Bang Bang"

My Dad and I went to the Cinemark last night to see "The Hurt Locker". Hey, seniors get in for five dolla. And I did see some canes and walkers. Anyhow, "The Hurt Locker" is clearly the best movie of the year, thus far. I get that it's only August and movies like this tend to be forgotten come Oscar time, but Jeremy Renner in the lead role, Katheryn Bigelow as director and the movie itself should be up for consideration next year.

The main cast is primarily made up of unknowns. Renner played "Dahmer" years ago, and the others are faces you've seen before, but are not stars. We get supporting roles from Guy Pearce, Evangeline Lilly, David Morse and even Ralph Fiennes. The narrative is different from virtually every movie you've seen. It's a series of missions of a squad that has to diffuse bombs in Iraq. One of the few war movies that leaves politics aside for the most part. These are guys with a dangerous job to do and it shows they do it.

Lots of comparisons to Hitchcock because of the suspense factor. And there really is no let up. I think the movie stands out because it so different. Highly recommended.

Meal of Links

NPR has listed the fan voting of the best songs of 2009, thus far. This has a feel of baseball All-Star voting. Wow.

Does Kim-Jong Il know that Bill Clinton is not President anymore? Do they have TV? Radio? I mean, the world's greatest golfer caved awfully quick on this one.

Six months in, and we're still blue.

Exercise Yard

Twitter wars! Yes, it's Stink vs. Ochocinco.

Now ESPN wants to regulate Tweets from its twats. I am still not on Twitter.

Visitor

54 Down: "Othello" conniver (4 letters) Answer: Iago

They know they can't use them in a game. Right?



























I was at an OFA today. You know, an Organized Family Activity. Today's was a graduation party.

But I played Cornhole today. Years of avoidance tossed asunder, so I expect to be on the disabled list shortly. I teamed up with my Dad against Cousin Ron and my cousin's husband, Kevin. Man, I was having trouble early, as we got our asses kicked in the first two games. Geez, I was barely hitting the board, while the points were going off like a pinball machine for our opponents. Finally eked out an epic (well, in my eyes) 21-20 win. One on the board for them with a 20-19 score in their favor and on my last bag, I threw the ringer for 2 points.

Meal of Links

Annie Leibovitz can shoot a damn good photo. But clearly, she has no idea how to keep track of her money.

eHarmony doesn't accept everyone. God, that me laugh out loud.

What happens when novelists sober up. Nice read.

Exercise Yard

Stephon Marbury is insane. Might be worse than Glenn Beck-insane.

Visitor

None, on a beautiful latter half of a Sunday.

Is the weeping over yet? My God, there was a grown man crying on the air yesterday with regard to the Victor Martinez trade. Yeah, it's a bad week when you trade your two best players. However, let's take a look at what the Indians have actually done.

Listen, I empathize with everyone and their feelings toward Victor. My God, we signed the kid when he was 16 and was clearly a great hitter from the time he started moving up in the minor leagues. The thing I took away from watching him when he came up was that he was pretty raw behind the plate. And then there were questions of his ability to call a game, throw out runners, etc. But all you had to see was the aftermath of winning games back then, especially in 2005. It was obviously clear after a save that Bob Wickman LOVED having Victor behind the plate. The Old Fart Seal of Approval, if you will. It was as if Wicky Wicky Bob was announcing to the world, "The kid stays in the picture."

But he and CC Sabathia were the last two players who arrived young and performed well after being Indians signees. Many of the current players have come from other organizations and I think this is why not only these trades were made, but it resulted in a concerted effort to get pitching, young pitching at that. In some respects, it's a mea culpa by the front office that they suck at the draft and can't wait until their own guys are 26 or 27 to start producing in the majors. We are beyond the Steroid Era (allegedly) and guys overproducing well into their late 30's. So, the career window is shorter. Hence, someone like a Ben Francisco moving on. At his age, do we see him possibly getting any better? I doubt it.

But the Victor trade had to be made this year. I can only reference the past deal of Johan Santana and any sort of deal this time forward for Roy Halladay, a total fuckup by Blue Jays management, I may add. It's been proven, the longer you wait and teams know you are in dumping mode, you are not going to get anywhere near the haul of talent the Indians got in these two trades this week. Both Lee and Martinez had decent options for 2010, which allowed teams not only a two-month rental, but an additional season, as well. They can also flip them at next year's deadline, if desired.

That's not to say either of these trades are the best work Shapiro has ever done. But the best comment I have seen on trades in the last few days is this one.

How to evaluate a trade:

1-Compare it to other packages offered. (Impossible)

2-Compare it to similar trades for similar players. (Impossible)

3-Wait and see how the players actually play. (Try this.)

And on a cheery note, Carlos Santana's minor league numbers are Martinez-like, but with more power. As of now, he is the best everyday-lineup prospect we have. Hector Rondon could be our best pitching prospect.

Clearly, the Indians have made a philosophical shift to obtain talent instead of letting potential free agents (who will not re-sign here) leave and obtain draft picks. Because, quite frankly, with their draft record, that has not worked. Additionally, they are now taking a chance with younger power arms (i.e., Justin Masterson in the mid-to-upper 90's on the gun tonight) in the hope they can make a quicker rise to the majors. This shift became evident in the amateur draft at the beginning of June and continued with these trades.

So, it's a new era for the Wahoos. One in which payroll will be significantly lower, the age of the players significantly lower (now second youngest in MLB behind the Pirates) and attendance significantly lower.

Let's see how it shakes out.

Meal of Links

A "Seinfeld" reunion. Sort of.

Whoops.

The East German secret police feared that one man could end communism. His name? Michael Jackson!

Robert Downey, Jr...er...Tony Stark is hiring.

Two new movie trailers are out. The first by the Coen Brothers. The second by Wes Anderson.

"A Serious Man" Trailer



"Fantastic Mr. Fox" Trailer



Exercise Yard

When Big Papi and Manny are said to be on the now infamous list of 100 steroid cheats, it's easy to call for the list to be made public. However, it is still illegal to leak that list.

Visitor

11 Down: 1974 John Wayne title role (3 letters) Answer: McQ