Films that make you cry.

My abbreviated list:

When Al Pacino gets his gold shield in "Serpico". I'm a puddle. Every time.

"The Straight Story". Damn that ending when Harry Dean Stanton asks Richard Farnsworth if he rode that thing all the way out there to see him. I think it's David Lynch's only G-rated movie.

Morgan Freeman's journey at the end of "Shawshank Redemption". Comical. I think the next time is the one I'll get through. Never happens. Bordering on triple digits.

"Saving Private Ryan". In the cemetery. "Tell me I'm a good man." Fuck you, Ryan, for makin' me shed tears! You're a bad man for doing that.

"Something For Joey" and "Brian's Song". Two made-for-TV football movies that are gut-wrenching. Most of the other sports movies like "Hoosiers" just give me chills. Although the end of "Pre" is a struggle. God, I loved the real Pre, so that must explain it.

"Heaven Can Wait". When Jack Warden figures it out at the end. Bah!

"In America". Good God, that's an emotional roller coaster.

Geez, I didn't even hit the doc list. But I'm sure that's enough for now.

Meal of Links

This Congresswoman is insane. Please vote her out next time.

The New York Times Magazine has a lengthy interview with President Obama. Today marks 100 days in office. Imagine that, the country has survived.

If ever there was a match for man and music. Steve Earle will do an album of Townes Van Zandt covers. "Pancho and Lefty" was on the EP, but the full album is out in two weeks.

Austin City Limits Festival has announced its lineup. I think it kicks major ass. Keep your eye on Blitzen Trapper. Big time pub going on.

The Hollywood Wax Museum is having an auction tomorrow. I'll take Mr. T, the Seinfeld figures and Ann-Margret!

"Family Guy" gets the James Lipton treatment. For next year.

Exercise Yard

The NFL Draft may go primetime next year. I swear it would be popular at 4 a.m. on a Tuesday if it was shown then. BTW, the Bengals are the 2009 team for HBO's "Hard Knocks".

Visitor

49 Across: Space station astronaut Jemison (3 letters) Answer: Mae

Today was a regularly-scheduled Indians game for me. I picked up a couple of tickets behind home plate on StubHub the other day for $15 per. Bargains abound, people. Sneaking a peek at the weather forecast late last week kind of clinched the deal. And even the threat of rain that was so prominent in yesterday's forecast got debunked by morning.

My Dad and I were in 153, and the sun at this time of the year conveniently didn't envelop our row, so it was quite comfortable. And we were rewarded with a win today, which was the first time I could say that in 4 tries, so far, this season.

Today's pitching from the Tribe was top-notch. Aaron Laffey has emerged as the most consistent starter since his recall after Week One. He got into the seventh today. Tony Sipp came on that inning and struck out Morneau and Kubel with the bases loaded for an escape. Rafael Betancourt (no White Stripes today) pitched an uneventful 8th. Then came my first look at Kerry Wood up close. Jeezy creezy.

Wood put the first two guys on, then it looked like he got mad. Got a double play grounder and struck out Brendan Harris for the save. When his pitch hits the catcher's mitt, it sounds fast. What a pop! He was hitting 99 on the gun. If he then throws Uncle Charlie like he did today, the hitters have no chance. That curve of his breaks an awful lot. The pitching needs to be good enough to get to Wood. He has now whiffed 12 in 6 innings.
























Not sure the hitting or Eric Wedge's disgust at the hitting had much to do with the win. Shocked to see a lineup today that included Peralta, DeRosa (so bad he changed his Wilco music), Graffanino and Crowe. More timely hitting today, but those four are really struggling.

Regardless, the Tribe wins, 4-2.

Meal of Links

The GOP is not going away. Outside the Beltway, they are still stoking the flames of bad policy. BTW, just in time for Swine Flu. The R's took out a whole bunch of funding for...pandemic preparation.

How to get the best out of iTunes.

Matt Underwood is now on Twitter. I still am not. I'm having a hard time grasping the use of Twitter. I get that if you need an answer to some problem, it can help. I don't mean to pick on Underwood, but what would I care if it's like summer at Progressive Field. Dude, I don't have my air on, I feel it. Matt should be describing what Rick Manning is eating during a game.

My Tweets today would have been:

Turkey burger...Mmmmm
about 5 hours ago from txt

Carl Edwards just went airborne!
about 6 hours from txt

Kerry Wood...Ballgame!
about 8 hours ago from txt

Uncle Joe just paid $6 for a Strickland blizzard. Hah!
about 9 hours ago from txt

More Minnesotans in my section today.
about 11 hours ago from txt

I just had my third beer.
about 12 hours ago from txt

F1 is in Bahrain. Anybody been there?
about 14 hours ago from txt

Damn. No one at Dave's Mercado this morning.
about 15 hours ago from txt

I dunno, I don't find these things noteworthy in snippet form. I'm probably wrong though, hips AND numbers don't lie.

Exercise Yard

Is the NFL Draft still going on? Well, the Browns did crank up the excitement by trading down yesterday. Then trading down again. Then trading down one more time. Then sucking the air out of the room by drafting a center, Alex Mack. Thankfully, it wasn't Alex Mack from the Disney show or Clarissa would have to explain that move. BTW, the best line from yesterday was Paul saying that the group at B.J. Raji's house looked like The Klumps.

So, the Browns addressed a need with that move. Then, as I kept pleading for Shady McCoy in Round Two, we got two receivers. Shady is the next Brian Westbrook and the Eagles probably wet themselves over the fact they now have McCoy and Westbrook. But the receivers include another OSU player (kill me, please) and one from Georgia who has the dropsies. I guess we addressed that need, as well. Not sold on the pass rushing end from Hawaii or the lesser known of the four USC linebackers with the next two picks but, like always, until we see these guys in pads, who really knows?

AFC North analysis.

Visitor

None, on a sunny Sunday.

Wasn't planning on doing much of anything last night. I got a call from Jimmy Donovan reminding me that my Browns payment for season tickets is due next week. Had to wash dishes. But then Cousin Barb came to the rescue with Indians tickets. "F-R-E-E, that spells free..." So, I went to my favorite type of Indians game. You know, the kind with fireworks after. If this town could manufacture exploding dollar hot dogs, they would sell out every game.

Speaking of dogs, my post on hot dog prices was a bit hasty the other day. We found that variable pricing exists for the red hots. Ranging from $3.00 to $4-something for regular dogs. Koshers go for $5, with the super (grilled with onions) going for $6.50. Cannot determine why the prices are what they are, but only Cleveland can sell hot dogs a la a wine list.

As for the game, well, that's nothing new. Fausto Carmona looked better. But he gave up a monster homer to Justin Morneau. Strike outs were up and he didn't walk many. Rafael Betancourt, who still comes into the game via "Conquest" by the White Stripes", still sucks. And then he does it such an agonizingly slow way to take the steam out of everyone. When he left, it was 5-1, and that's how it ended. Vinnie Chulk gave us two innings of Chulk-A-Mania to close it out.

The Indians have played 7 home games. I have attended 3. They have lost all 3. Although, it did not rain this time. Matter of fact, it was stealing to get 80 degrees at an April game. Anyhow, Tribe loses, 5-1. Again.

WARNING: My Dad and I are at Sunday's game with cheap StubHub tickets behind home plate. Bet accordingly.

Meal of Links

Top 10 Album Openers of the '90s. Decent list with listening capability.

More about torture.

Super Bowl in London? I'd bet the first year it's there, the Browns will make it. Depriving the loyalists of an opportunity to see the game in person.

A Far Cry From "This Is My Town"



Exercise Yard

Heading over to Paul's later for the NFL Draft. Yes, Lord Football rules even on an 80-degree April day in Cleveland. The final mock draft of Rick Gosselin.

BTW, for all of the chatter out there, if the Browns do not make a trade or two and simply go with the picks they have, I think we will all be disappointed. Let the ManKok Era begin!

Visitor

57 Across: London-born supermodel (8 letters) Answer: Kate Moss

I was at the Indians game tonight. It was a “Clash of the Titans” affair with the Kansas City Royals. Nomar Stalker and I took advantage of those 50% off tickets and got a pair in 152, right before the handicapped row. Excellent location, because when it rained late, we caught the end in one of the 200 Jury Box sections.

What did we learn?

Quit worrying about Cliff Lee. He looked as dominant as he did last year. Gave up 7 hits, but clearly 5 of them were of the cheap variety. Hard hit balls were virtually non-existent. Gave up a run early when Coco Crisp led off with a double and moved up on two fly balls to Choo, who thankfully saw both of them. Anyhow, Lee looked great, even though he lost.

The Tony Sipp Era started. He looked decent. Little lefty, throws the heater in the low 90s. But the Indians offense looked like a Jim Rome “Triple U” experience. Especially the unfunny and uninspired part.

We learned more about vending. The Kosher Hot Dogs purveyed by the “Rabbi Feldman Stands” have been replaced by a Super Kosher Dog for, get this, $6.50! I was in line and heard a guy mutter his small order and when he was done it was $25.25. That made me read the prices as he took forever. So, pissed off at the slow guy and the prices, I went to a regular vending station. Where I paid $5 for a dog and $4.75 for my large Souvenir Soda. Didn't make me feel any better when told condiments were around the corner. Hey, where's my pump bottle of mustard? What's with the packets?

As I said on Opening Day, beer from a vendor is $7. I found the Mixed Drink Stand near 155 and paid $7 for a bourbon and soda. The stand offered Great Lakes and some other beers for something in that $6.75-7.25 range. Looks like Cotton Candy was the only item checking in at less than $4.

The Royals? Well, Brian Bannister owns the Indians and threw 6 shutout innings. Jamey Wright came on and threw 2 innings, including a 4-pitch 8th. Then “The Mexecutioner”, Joakim Soria, came on and struggled for the save. But he buckled Trevor Crowe on a third strike to end the game. The Royals appear to have good gloves, but have trouble throwing the ball around defensively. They may need to keep an eye on that.

I’ve now attended two games. The Indians have lost both. And it rained both times.

Royals win, 2-0.

Meal of Links

What is your better Chicago concert this summer? Pitchfork or Lollapalooza?

If you've been on Detroit lately, you see all of the construction going on. Good news, though. The Capitol Theatre gets a projected opening date of October 1. Let's see if their vision meets my vision. Meaning I don't want to have to drive to the Cedar-Lee, if I don't have to.

Bill Nye gets booed. Bill Nye, for cryin' out loud. Well, booed might be strong. Heckled, perhaps. OK, a few people walked out.

Melt goes east. Michael Symon goes east and west.

College Snuggies. Seriously.

Shep Drops an F-Bomb on Torture on Fox



Exercise Yard

The NCAA finally sanctions beach volleyball. But they call it "sand volleyball". I guess for all the midwest and eastern schools that will have a team.

Cavs GEICO Parody



I was at the Atlanta game when that debuted, and liked it a lot.

Visitor

14 Across: "1984" author (6 letters) Answer: Orwell

I went to see "State of Play" over at the Cinemark, where a crowd of barely double digits was in attendance. This movie was a throwback to the old newspaper thriller. You know, where the intrepid reporters are risking life and limb because of an explosive story that threatens to perhaps, bring down the political world as we know it. Really an homage to the paper, as we have the newsroom featured prominently and the production of a newspaper is covered over the closing credits.

The movie clinches it for me. I really don't like Ben Affleck, especially as a congressman. I think this guy actually thought he was a politician. Now Russell Crowe as the scruffy reporter, I liked him a lot. Crowe has a habit of delivering in these types of movies and I think he did a good job. Rachel McAdams can do no wrong in my opinion, I think she's lovely all the time, so that was a plus. She was the newspaper's DC gossip blogger.

Good stuff from Robin Wright Penn, looking great, as Affleck's wife. Helen Mirren plays a Tina Brown-like editor of the paper and gets to swear a lot. And Jason Bateman as a smarmy PR guy gets a nice few minutes to turn the story on its head. Jeff Daniels played an appropriately powerful majority whip, as well.

Not great, but not a bad effort here.

Meal of Links

The World's Top 100 Restaurants. Sadly, Sheetz is not mentioned.

Really bad fictional babysitters.
Evelle: "These blow up into funny shapes and all?"
Grocer: "Well, no... unless round is funny."

A great read on why newspapers are failing. And some things they haven't given away yet.

Rolling Stone has left San Francisco. Editorial has been gone for a long time, but still...

Two things intrigue me about CSU ticket options for next year. Season tickets remaining the same or, perhaps, cheaper on the price angle. And the all-you-can-eat-and drink section that would include beer. Uh-oh.

This site can help you with your LA Times crosswords. By all means, do not look there until you are done.

Exercise Yard

This kid allegedly picked better than Mel Kiper in last year's NFL Draft. This year's picks.

Visitor

17 Across: "The Flintstones" pet (4 letters) Answer: Dino

The Crank Gang met at Crocker Park to take in the early show of "Crank: High Voltage". Probably the most ridiculous piece of cinema in the last two years, and I loved it. One review said it was "morally bankrupt but the funniest film of the year". Where else can you hear Dwight Yoakam say, "Am I gonna have to choke a bitch?".

Yes, Jason Statham is back as Chev Chelios, even though he died in "Crank". Well, sort of. His stolen heart is replaced by an artificial heart in the sequel that he needs to keep charged, hence the title. His old heart ends up in David Carradine's (Carradine is a character named Poon Dong) body and why let plot get in the way of his quest for its return. Yes, Statham shoves a shotgun up some big guy's ass to gain information. Yes, some guy cuts both of his nipples off for failing to get Statham. Yes, Statham and Amy Smart have public sex again, this time at Hollywood Park, ahem, during a horse race. Yes, Statham gets a jump from a car to his heart. Yes, Statham grabs high voltage boxes and wires a few times for even more recharging. Yes, old friends from "Crank" show up.

Jee-zus, Corey Haim is in this movie as Smart's current boyfriend and she eventually beats him up. Even Ron Jeremy shows up at a porn actor protest (My favorite sign: "Hell No, We Won't Blow") so Statham can be stopped at a redlight for no apparent reason. Even Lauren Holly (looking good I might add) has an uncredited role as a hot psychiatrist.

Hey, don't be looking for any Academy Awards being thrown in its direction. It clocks in at 85 minutes and Kevin said it was probably really 40 minutes long and then they had to come up with filler. I think he was right. I see its first weekend take was only $6.2 million ("Crank" took in $10 million, for comparison). Get there soon.

Meal of Links

Jason Statham wore these New Balances in "Crank: High Voltage".

Torture memos came out last week. And George Orwell visited America three times last week.

OK, GOP. Time to start railing on President Obama for talking with our enemies. Cue "preconditions". Remember that word. By the way, Hugo Chavez is the new Oprah. That book he gave Obama is now #20 on Amazon.

Exercise Yard

The controversy around Jorge Posada's homer that put the Yankees ahead of the Indians today will probably never die. At first, I thought no. Then I thought yes, after seeing the third replay. Then I went back to not so sure. The angle on the YES network seemed to indicate Crowe and the fan directly over him missed the ball. Didn't see the TBS feed. STO's feed kept me confused. Let's face it, if Garko had still been out there, we would have known for sure. I don't think he leaps as high as Crowe did on that play.

My only beef is that when the home run goes to instant replay for an umpiring decision, the umpire crew needs to make a statement following the game and they appeared to not do that today. They also let Eric Wedge have his say after the replay, ignoring the automatic ejection rule for arguing.

Terrible effort by the bullpen should not be overlooked though. Yanks win, 7-3.

Visitor

None, on a rainy Sunday.

While watching the Cavs, I was thinking (because of the blowout), what nickname should we bestow upon Vinnie Chulk of the Indians? Chulk-A-Mania! or the Incredible Chulk? I know "Gas Can" is probably the leader in the clubhouse and let's hope they don't blow that 15-2 lead today.

Things I've Tried Lately:

Arnold Palmer Half-and-Half. I picked this up at Marc's, mainly so I could say, "Hey, I'm drinking Arnold Palmer!". Arizona Teas may distribute this, but it's half lemonade and half iced tea and Arnie has his photo on the jug. Whole lemonade or whole iced tea probably tastes better. Uh, maybe I should have had it on a golf course.

Santitas. Did you know they are only $2? Why, it says so, right on the bag! Not bad. It's a Frito-Lay product.

Tangos. This is a Shearer's product and I like it a lot. Get the cantina style tortilla chips. My God, some of these flavors these companies come up with I wouldn't touch. Shearer's is as guilty as any with their Hot Dog-flavored potato chips. A big WTF? on that one.

Mad Monks Salsa. I really like this stuff. I am not that much of a salsa person. I've only tried the Hot, but this is exactly how I like mine. Thick, with a big heat factor. Another Marc's purchase but Dave's has it, as well. More expensive than the typical brands, about $3.99 a jar.

Step Right Up. This is a combo hot dog/donut shop in Hudson and I've had a hot dog from there before, that was OK but way overpriced, especially when Sheetz runs that 2/99 cents deal. You know, I loves my Sheetz! Anyhow, both times I've been to this joint, I'm the only one there. Now, I don't eat a lot of donuts, but these are tremendous. They have a filled glaze that is unbelievable, with lemon or raspberry. The best donut I've had in a while. I'd go back for the donuts, but not the dogs.

Meal of Links






















The AT&T Blue Room has Coachella this weekend (like Los Campesinos! above). Pretty good lineup and a different video player this year.

I will be heading off to see "Crank 2" tomorrow. Here's how Jason Statham became the world's biggest B-movie star.

Here's how "The Mentalist" became a hit. "Familiar and unremarkable" seems to be the ticket.

Thief returns stolen car. Got tired of the victim calling him. A lot. Then he gave up.

A shoutout to "Ball Four". I still remember Jim Bouton's manager, Joe Schultz, and his favorite curse word: "Shitfuck."

Julia Stiles talks about her new haunt, Citi Field. Quotes like "...but the only place you'll find a quicker ladies room is at a Rush concert -- I know from experience." and "...but honestly -- fish at a baseball game? The Mets don't even have a single Japanese player on their roster, and New York is known for its hot dogs. Period." I like her.

Tyler Hamilton basically throws in the towel. A pretty sad story.

Exercise Yard

A long read about Todd Marinovich. Mankok, be very careful next week, when drafting.

Visitor

41 Across: "Platoon" actor Willem (5 letters) Answer: Dafoe

The Torture Memos were released today. Appalling would sum it up properly, I think. Here's the medical angle. You know, this relates to the epiphany I had many, many years ago about the death penalty. Every financial ("it's cheaper to gas 'em"), let alone the weak deterrent argument, regarding the death penalty is rendered moot by this simple point...We are a civilized society. Or supposed to be.

The memos are here, courtesy of the ACLU. You may think the idea of future prosecution is a bunch of hot air. Personally, I don't. I think it's a must.

And when you offer an argument about letting go, it's in the past. Well, you sound like Mark McGwire or a John Demjankuk supporter.

Meal of Links

Time to take a look at some different photos of women.

Allure went the naked celebrity route. Standouts include Lynn Collins. Even Chelsea made the cut with her Handlers. This was airbrushing at its finest.

Conversely, French Elle went the celebrities without makeup route. This includes Monica Bellucci, Eva Herzigova and Sophie Marceau.

Both sides have their merits.

The 50 Most Brilliant Atheists of all time. Familiar names include David Gilmour, Brian Eno, Steve Wozniak and Jodie Foster.

I hadn't seen Sir Mix-a-Lot in a very long time. I always kinda liked him. But what is with BK and their recent legacy of creepy commercials? Meanwhile, Johnny Depp visits SpongeBob.

Sarah Palin is having trouble even governing Alaska these days. Let's hear the R's cite her favorable ratings as governor today.

YouTube has a page to watch full TV episodes. I didn't look, but maybe the one where Al Bundy sweated Elvis is on there.

Another thing I have to worry about. Getting crushed by the Golden Arches.

Funniest headline today.

Exercise Yard

April 15 marked the 20th anniversary of the Hillsborough Disaster. Generally regarded as the darkest day in the history of English soccer. 96 people died that day and the bottom line is you never expect to die while attending a match. Still resonates deeply over there. Fascinating reads.

Go Bruins



Seriously. Could this be the year?

Visitor

32 Across: Rowlands of "Another Woman" (4 letters) Answer: Gena

You step away for a day and all hell breaks loose...

First of all, Mark Fidrych died yesterday. Hard to believe now, but for one summer back in 1976, he was the best thing going in baseball. "The Bird" was 21 and he pitched for the Tigers and was Rookie of the Year. As you probably guessed it was his first major league start against the Indians (who else?) that put him on the map.

He talked to the baseball. Manicured the mound by hand and shook hands with everyone. Including teammates after a good defensive play and even the ground crew after that first win. It was something to see. Remember, this was before ESPN and the Internet. So, you would hear or read about him before you actually saw him.

His passing allows us to reflect on how different baseball was back then. Fernando Valenzuela and Fernando Mania came a few years after Fidrych, and Wally Joyner with "Wally World" took place a few years after Fernando. Those were great happenings in baseball that we'll never see again. By the time Ken Griffey, Jr. made the majors only a short while after Joyner, you knew everything about him before he even took a swing.

But Fidrych was a joy to watch and it's a shame he flamed out so quickly. His career was effectively over a short 14 months after that first win against the Indians. Joe Posnanski, a northeast Ohio native who saw Fidrych as a kid, points out in a 30-day stretch in '76, he threw 73 1/3 innings! Seven complete games in a month. Johan Santana has 9 complete games for his career! No wonder his arm was shot. Pitch counts, what are those?

The thing with Fidrych is if someone did that stuff today, they'd be mocked or ridiculed for "not respecting the game". All I can say is, at that time, no one cared about that crap and he's a pitcher I'll never forget.

Meal of Links

Oscar de la Hoya retired today. Boxing's best box office guy. When he boxed, people paid to see him. And women would actually show up. Stumbled rather badly at the end of his career, but at the lower weights, man, he was unquestionably one of the best. Now it's off to promoting where he can make even more money.

Harry Kalas died yesterday. He was the voice of the Phillies and also did the voiceover work for NFL Films. Had a friend in college who always used to imitate him with "Rob Carpenter grinds out three yards of real estate".

It's National Grilled Cheese Month. When done right, that is a damn good sammie.

Exercise Yard

Lord Football took up much of the airwaves tonight. The reason? It was the "Reading of the Schedule". Only the NFL could turn this into an event.

Here is the Browns schedule Wow, this is a doozy. Hey, Sunday at 1:00 welcomes the Browns back with a big bear hug, as 12 Browns games get that timeslot once again.

The Lows? 5 of the first 8 and 7 of the first 11 games are on the road. That means 4 of the last 5 games are at home when it's cold. Including a Thursday nighter against the Steelers on December 10. Plus a 4:00 start against the Chargers at home in December. That means for those games, it's cold AND dark. Sadly with two home games after Christmas, we may not care well before that point.

The Highs? I guess getting 2 primetimers at home is unexpected, but pretty good. Both divisional games, I might add. That Steelers game and a Monday nighter against the Ravens on November 16 (after a bye week which worked last year). And the Browns divisional games are spread throughout the schedule instead of that customary three losses by October stuff we've had to put up with lately. And both preseason home games are on Saturday.

Still have not sent in my check yet, but I will before May 1.

Visitor

6 Down: Jean of "Saint Joan" (6 letters) Answer: Seberg

Today was spent finishing up a tradition unlike any other, the annual viewing of the final round of The Masters. Unfortunately, FIGJAM was paired up with Tiger Woods and, of course, got me ready to set my remaining hair on fire, as he tied The Masters record for the front nine with a -6. And then tossing it away by hitting a terrible shot into the drink on 12. Then missing incredibly easy putts on 15 and 17. Tiger hung in there and actually threatened us with some almost memorable play until he proceeded to butcher his last two holes...again. He is really having trouble finishing his rounds there.

But the oddity of the day was the CBS coverage. I realize the entire golf world wanted to see FIGJAM or Tiger come from way back to win this thing, but they were too far behind. I'll grant you that one or two of the three leaders (Perry, Cabrera or Campbell) may have totally melted down, but not all three of 'em. To have Jim Nantz declare that Kenny Perry "had ceded control of the tournament" while he was STILL LEADING THE MASTERS was one of the oddest things I've heard from this guy. FIGJAM and Woods were still 2 and 3 shots back respectively at the time. Talk about hyperbole. Then after Perry missed a short putt at 13, the usually reliable Peter Kostis said that Masters nerves were getting to Perry. Not sure how he would explain Perry's birdies at 15 and 16 shortly thereafter.

It's amazing how they wanna bury a guy like Perry early. Then when he really deserves to get hammered for some bad play, like he had on the last two holes of regulation and both playoff holes, they don't hammer him enough for gagging. I mean that was some really awful play there and we can chime in and say how well he played early, but Perry really spit the bit at the end.

And a tip of the hat to Angel Cabrera. He won the green jacket and didn't get caught smoking on camera once. Only active golfers with a Masters and a US Open win? Why that would be Tiger Woods and Angel Cabrera.

But the award for the player who finishes in the Top 16, an automatic invite for the 2010 Masters, with the least amount of TV time goes to...Todd Hamilton. Virtually ignored on the CBS weekend coverage after shooting 68 on Thursday and 70 on Friday, Hamilton's only shot on the Sunday coverage was his incredible par save after hitting into the water on 12. Geoff Ogilvy was probably the runner-up, despite rolling in 5 straight birdies on the back nine on Sunday.

Meal of Links

I think some people are truly psychic. But if you're a psychic, can you really cancel performances due to "unforeseen television commitments"? Not sure that's gonna fly.

Sometimes, pirates be damned, you have to perform these military exercises. What a story this has been.

Give up alcohol for a month? Hey, sobriety is over-rated.

Exercise Yard

A few things from Opening Day I failed to mention:

Beer from vendors has now reached the $7.00 mark.

The fish they promised to those honoring their Good Friday commitments was only available at two stands, one lower and one upper. But was not helped by any signage and not announced until the heavier rain showed up in the 4th inning. Shouldn't advertise it, then abandon it.

You'll probably notice this, especially when bad crowds are in attendance. But the first row of the more expensive seats is now sponsored by Mercedes-Benz. Cushioned seats with Mercedes-Benz logos are what first-row patrons now sit in.

The leftfield foul pole is now sponsored by Walgreens. Sadly, the lonely rightfield foul pole remains unsponsored.

And the Indians won their first game of the season. So the crowds forming at the 480 bridge have subsided. For now.

Visitor

None, on a sunny but cold Easter Sunday.

Opening Day

















Gale and I attended yesterday's opener and, well, what can you say when it's the longest rain delay in the history of the Toronto Blue Jays. They do have a dome, but not hard to figure why they had to play that game yesterday. It was the only time Toronto was in town this year and when the Indians specifically lobbied for a Friday start this year, you don't have the leeway you have when you open on a Monday.

All of the tired antidotes like a dome or open up for two weeks on the road are silly. What they should do, if you open up this early, is make sure it's a divisional opponent to make sure you have a chance for a makeup down the road.

As for the weather, I'll give you the straight scoop. It was pretty cold, but the little drizzle we had early in the game was tolerable. Then after Hafner homered in the third, the rain picked up. I'm not saying this was storming or anything, but it was steady and quickly became unbearable.

We actually spent a good portion of the 4th inning in the back concourse, so it was kind of a relief when they called for the tarp. It made no sense to stick around, so we headed for The Happy Dog. Heat, no bathroom lines and guaranteed seating made that an easy choice.

Parking

Considering there may not be many sellouts this season, all prices were jacked up. Hanna Garage, where I parked, was $20. BTW, today, it was $5.

Pregame Drinking

At Alesci's. We were there, probably around 1:00. Crowded, but not asses to elbows until around 2:00. Pretty cool. Got to see some of the younger folks from the older days. Our favorite bartender returned from Arizona and told us he and Andy Marte have became friends as Marte visited his establishment out west. Also saw one of our regular Army guys, who has done three tours in the current war, two in Iraq and one in Afghanistan. He's now headed to Hawaii. I'd say that's well-deserved. And one of my favorite young women is now in law school. Had a good time catching up with all.

Swag

















Got a Corona Light combo keychain/bottle opener from a Corona Light girl, as I was actually drinking one at the time. And of course, the Opening Day Schedule Magnet, as ever.

Batter's Eye/Market Pavilion

















The Batter's Eye in right field has been changed in a major way. In years past, it was one of the few ways you could beat the system. That is, you could arrive early, buy a cheap ticket, and sit at the many tables and chairs there and still view the game. You didn't have to buy anything.

Well, the Indians have figured that out and have sent the tables and chairs to the Market Pavilion area, where the view is not so great. Even the chairs around the bar have been eliminated.

OSU Presence

















Can I attend any sporting event in this town and not have to suffer through some Columbus-based items? As I walked into Progressive Field, the Ohio State Spring Marching Band is playing "Hang On Sloopy". Then the band plays both of the anthems.

As the Indians take the field, the lineup is displayed over the strains of the Ohio State fight song. Now this may have been for Scott Lewis, who started yesterday. Let's hope it's not every game. And now that Lewis is disabled, maybe that'll be shelved, as well.

Herb Score Tribute

















After Tom Hamilton introduced the players, we had the National Anthems of Canada and the U.S. and there was a tribute to Herb Score, whose wife threw out the first pitch. I'll say this, it wasn't very good. They had lots of time to prepare, but the only call they had from Herb was from Len Barker's perfect game. WTF? No home run calls, especially from the Jacobs Field era. I mean, he did call two seasons where the Indians made it to the World Series. Did he make no exciting calls during that time? Very strange. The Indians usually do a much better job on these things, but something was severely lacking yesterday.

Bigass Flag

















I loves me the huge flag.

This Clown Is Still There

















Yep, needlessly inserting himself into things. Like team introductions.

Be Careful, Hafner

















If suckiness ensues, look out Travis Hafner. The paint job in Pronkville has been jettisoned by this easily-replaceable banner.

New Food Section

















This is the new All-You-Can-Eat vending station, sponsored by ampm. As you can see, not very busy, but staffed by hard-working employees.

Stupid New Gimmick

















This is duh-umb. They eliminated some rows at the back of Section 101. This is where this Progressive SUV will honk its horn, turn its lights on, open up its doors and turn after an Indian home run.

After Hafner's homer, we got to see it in action. it is lame. You wouldn't even know it was there, unless someone pointed it out to you. And you can't hear any noise and it barely rotates. In true Progessive Field form, about 8 employees guard it at all times.

The View

















42,000 people inside the park. But I think I see the "Luckiest Man in Iraq" driving over the Lorain-Carnegie Bridge" before the delay.

What Did We Learn From The Game?

Or should I say 4 innings?

Player Speed Comparison: Dirt is slow...Kevin Millar slower. Millar thrown out by Choo at second yesterday. Should have been thrown out by Choo at home today, but Shoppach dropped the ball.

Dirt is old...Kevin Millar older.

I wish the little kid next to us, at his first Opener, could have stayed to the end of that loss. Me, too. Then I could have said, "Get used to it, kid."

New Nickname: The hitless Mark Derosa was christened "Oh-fer-rosa" by Gale. Little "Apprentice" shoutout.

Scott Lewis is terrible. One time through the lineup and they figured him out.

Wedge Boo Factor? About 25%.

Travis Hafner actually looked good.

Big upgrade on music. I heard music from 2009 and almost had a heart attack.

Meal of Links

Folks, try to relax. It's not good for you.

How to pawn crap. Stay classy, San Diego.

Mouth-to-snout? Yes, some guy saved a dog.

Simon Cowell Knows Talent



Exercise Yard

Miami lost the Frozen Four in an overtime thriller. Boston U. pulled their goaltender with 3:30 to go. Around the 90-second mark, I thought the boys were gonna do it. But BU scored two goals in the final minute and then scored the OT winner.

It's not that the teams I root for never win. I came to grips with that eons ago. But it's these knee-to-the-groin affairs that get tiresome. For 56-and-a-half minutes, Miami had the number one team on the ropes. Not a great game, but hard-working, really solid. Then it all fell apart, the tying goal came with 17 seconds left. 17 seconds!

In overtime, both teams had their chances. Then with about 8 minutes to go, a Miami defenseman blocks a shot and the puck dances agonizingly through the air, virtually taunting every Miami fan along the way. "Yes, I was blocked, but your goalie can't see me. So, I will float slowly through the air. The guys who see me, can't do anything about it. Watch me, as I will arc directly over the goalie's left shoulder and land snugly into the net for the gamewinner." I swear it took an hour for that thing to land. Awful to watch.

To add more insult, Steve Cady, one of Miami's Athletic Directors, the coach when I attended, came out for his duties as the Tournament Chairman. That meant he had to hand the trophy to Boston U. OK, rub more salt in there. Ugh!

Next up? Let's see how the Cavs do.

Visitor

62 Across: FDR's Fala, e.g. (15 letters) Answer: Aberdeen Terrier

Always a shock when a current ballplayer dies. So, another young pitcher, Nick Adenhart, lost his life in an auto accident. Here's how Vin Scully talked about it on the Dodger broadcast, and, you know, he's right:

"If I may speak for every member of the Dodger organization, our heartfelt and deepest sympathies to the mother and family of Nick Adenhart, and to every member in the Angels organization, for the untimely accident and death of young Nick last night at the tender age of twenty-two. Nick, from Maryland, had pitched six scoreless innings and was in a car with three friends, and a driver apparently went through a red light and T-boned the car, killing three of the four, including Nick, and one other member is in critical condition. And if there is one thing I’ve learned in all my years — and I haven’t learned much — but the one thing I’ve learned: Don’t even waste your time trying to figure out life.

Ground ball through for Andre Ethier, and life continues for those who still have it. And with a leadoff single, Russell Martin will be coming up.

But I would say, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take a moment and say a prayer in memory for Nick, especially for his parents. What a shock to lose a twenty-two-year-old."

Amen.

Meal of Links

Seder for dogs.

My ERA is 81 runs less than Carl Pavano. Rumor has it, he didn't even hit 85 on the gun. Eric Wedge to mention "Grinders" in 5...4...3...2...1.

GM can still advertise in Comerica Park for free. The Tigers owner says, "Why not?".

Hitch vs. Ken Blackwell...Guess Who Wins



Jan leaves "The Office". I love boxing, so I'll have to watch this new show on Fx, "Lights Out". She will star as the (ahem, pediatric, no less) orthopedic surgeon wife of an ex-heavyweight champ.

Exercise Yard

Miami won its first game at the Frozen Four and meets Boston U. for the national championship of hockey. The boys played a really good defensive game and absolutely smothered Bemidji State. And while on Easter Bunny watch, I'll be viewing.

Visitor

30 Down: Southfork surname (5 letters) Answer: Ewing

I kinda like how the sports calendar keeps throwing things my way. Just completed March Madness, which meant watching the Final Four. Then Opening Day happens next. Then the Masters starts. Then Miami is in the Frozen Four for Thursday. Then I get to attend the Home Opener for the Indians.

Then the Easter Bunny shows up.

Meal of Links

Dylan on Obama. It seems that he likes him.

Kenny Fucking Powers is back. "Eastbound and Down" gets renewed.

Roger Ebert counsels Bill O'Reilly. I give it two thumbs up.

Happy Birthday, Internets! Watch Iconic Videos to celebrate.

The Top 25 Fictional Ads in Sci-Fi Movies. Some of the "Robocop" ones are present.

Check out Philip Glass. This doc is on PBS tonight.

"Parks and Recreation" starts tomorrow. Rashida Jones talks about her role.

The death of newspapers. In pictures!

Marines forced Saddam Hussein to watch the "South Park" movie. That makes me laugh.

It costs $5.75 for Cracker Jack at Yankee Stadium. They need a Marc's.

Exercise Yard

The Mets hate Little Leaguers. I'm curious if the Tribe still allows parades before the games.

Visitor

69 Across: Media mogul Turner (3 letters) Answer: Ted

Since I'll be at Opening Day in Cleveland on Friday (yeah, it's Good Friday...no hot dogs), it's time to look at the Tribe's chances for 2009. Last year, if you recall, I was pretty close in my analysis of the club but picked them for 89 wins and no playoffs, despite all of their shortcomings. They only won 81 in 2008.

Well, how bout it, what about this year?

The biggest challenge probably comes from Tom Hamilton's favorite team, the White Sox and of course, the Twins. I think Kansas City and Detroit will be better this season, so I don't see anyone really cleaning up in the division. But it may be only 10 games separating first from last here.

But every club in the Central has issues. The Twins need Joe Mauer and Scott Baker to be healthy. Chicago needs starting pitching. My God, they are counting on Bartolo Colon. But their bullpen is the best in the division, those starters may need to go only 6 innings. Detroit needs Justin Verlander to be better, as well as their bullpen. The Royals were picked by the USA Today guy to win the division. Quick, name 5 Royals or even their manager (Hah, Trey Hillman).

Let's start with the two players who are on the team only because of their contracts, Masa Kobayashi and David Delucci. The Indians are not shy about admitting mistakes early in the season (typically 40 games), especially if they are in the last or only year of their contracts. Look it up. Brady Anderson, Jason Johnson, even Joe Borowski were let go with some financial commitment remaining. Delucci starts the season on the disabled list. If his replacement, Trevor Crowe, gets a few at-bats and produces, Delucci will have a short timeframe to produce. Admit it, the Indians were sold a bill of goods on Kobayashi. Hyped as a "potential closer", this guy ran out of gas by August 1. In fact, he was terrible. If the Tribe gets off to anything resembling a decent start and he's ineffective, I see him gone by the All-Star break, if not sooner.

Outfield: Grady Sizemore is in center. Every stat whiz says Eric Wedge was correct when he said "hitting .300 isn't that big a deal". So, maybe we are happy with our .270 hitting superstar. Hell, Terry Pluto predicted him for MVP this year. To do that, he'll have to overcome what I really think are his core weaknesses, his .169 Late Inning Pressure average and .205 average from the seventh inning on.

Is it safe to say, question marks at both corners? Ben Francisco did alright, but tailed off late last year. Is Shin-Soo Choo really that good or is he "The Asian Trot Nixon"? I'd love to see Choo make it, he really surprised me last year. This is Francisco's big shot to find out what he can do. Any regression and he's done as a future Indian. As I said, a big chance for Crowe. Will be sent down upon Delucci's return, but could be back quickly if/when Delucci fails. Don't forget, Mark DeRosa and Ryan Garko will also get some PT in the outfield.

Infield: The Indians should be OK up the middle this year. I hope Asdrubal Cabrera shows the stick he showed late last year, we know he has the glove and hopefully, a new necklace this season. Jhonny Peralta still remains the "Most Disappointing Indian In The Fans' Eyes Who Actually Produces Every Year." At third is newcomer Mark DeRosa. DeRosa, easily the most popular Cub the last two years, will fill that role for the Indians. We are actually lucky to have him. Will easily surpass the Casey Blake role on and off the field. At first, we will have mainly Victor Martinez and Ryan Garko. I like Victor, but he has to show more power than he did last season. Remember, he hit only 2 homers and 17 doubles last season. We need him to regain his previous form. Ryan Garko, he of 90 RBIs last season, will get some DH/Outfield/First Base time. The elf, Jamey Carroll, backs up everyone in the infield. Josh Barfield, the light-hitting wonder, will play both infield and outfield, but probably will lead the team in least at-bats.

This is probably as good a time to talk about all of the maneuverability Eric Wedge has this season. I sense this is a bad thing. Because, in his mind, everyone is capable at several positions, I bet we will see an outfield of Barfield, Sizemore and Garko at some time this season. We'll see more pinch runners replacing better hitters, then the game will remained tied and we'll see Josh Barfield in the cleanup spot, come the 11th inning. Trust me when I tell ya, this will cost us a game early in the season.

That leaves Travis Hafner as DH. Omigod, this could be a disaster. I'm afraid the 40 homer, 120 RBI seasons are a thing of the past. So, what would be acceptable for a guy with the largest contract in Indians history? First of all, get that BB/K ratio back to the glory days. But listen, 20 homers and 75 RBI won't cut it for what we pay him. Garko can do that at a much cheaper pay rate. Will probably be the most talked about Indian this season, reagrdless of his production.

Starting Pitching: Not the team's strength. We need a combined 35 wins out of Fausto Carmona and Cliff Lee to have any chance. Lee had a terrible spring. Carmona seemed to regain some of his better form. No way Lee matches what he did last year. If he does, he is a bonafide star we lose when his contract is up. A rebound year by Carmona may offset a slight decline by Lee. After that, it's a tossup. Carl Pavano has been hurt for about 4 years and can you count on the guy at #3? Seriously, if you get 10 wins from him, Mark Shapiro is a god. Both Anthony Reyes at #4 and Scott Lewis at #5 threw well late last season when it didn't matter. I expect more from Reyes than Lewis. After Lewis was named a starter this spring, he started giving up gopher balls. Lewis was 4-0 in September last season, but even Scott Elarton was 5-0 in September several years ago, but it counted when he did it. Of course, on the farm, we have semi-failures Jeremy Sowers and Aaron Laffey in waiting.

Bullpen: I actually see some hope here. Kerry Wood is a big-time closer. I am not fearful of his injured past. Well, actually I am, but I do think he'll be fine. He was on the DL once last year and it was not arm-related. He was an excellent pickup. I am not a fan of Jensen Lewis, but I do realize he was pretty good down the stretch last season. Again, when it meant nothing. Early on, he sucked. I do like Rafael Perez. He'll never equal his 2007 season, but he was pretty tough from June on last year. Rafael Betancourt? Jeezy creezy, he was worse than Kobayashi for about 90% of last year. If he is 50% as bad as last year, that will be a major improvement. I am not familiar with Joe Smith's work. Well, I am, but that was Cavalier Joe Smith, not this guy. The type of guy the Indians will open up the stat book on, in case he fails early. I'll point that out when it happens. The other reliever is Zach Jackson. Yawn.

Catcher: Very disappointed the Indians did not move Kelly Shoppach in the offseason, as his value was at its peak. Because this is the year he will be exposed for what he has become. His numbers throwing out runners have been declining and he whiffs way too much. Really his strikeout rate is alarming. I think we will see a lot more Victor Martinez behind the plate than originally planned.

In an off season where the Indians added two Cubs, Wood and DeRosa, I am predicting 88 wins this year and October baseball. I think in a tight race, they will make it in. But they just as easily could finish third again.

Here is what the Beacon thinks.

Meal of Links

Michael Bay Eating Breakfast



Humor makes you funnier and sexier. Plus, why do we swear? Pretty goddamn long articles, but fuckin' worth the time.

Here are the worst drive-thru foods in America. There actually is a good tip in there. Whopper Jr. sans mayo is 290 calories instead of the BK Chick-N-Crisp which is the worst value meal item.

To save some clicks, other horror shows: Arby’s Roast Beef and Swiss Market Fresh Sandwich, Dairy Queen 6-Piece Chicken Strip Basket, Arby’s Large Mozzarella Sticks (same fat as a Triple Whopper), McDonald's Large Triple Thick Chocolate Milkshake, Arby's Roast Turkey and Swiss Market Fresh Sandwich.

Special mention to the worst-value meal: Carl’s Jr. Double Six Dollar Burger
with Medium Natural Cut Fries and 32 oz Coke. This meal has the caloric equivalent of 13 Krispy Kreme Original Glazed Donuts; the saturated fat equivalent of 52 strips of bacon; and the salt equivalent of seven and a half large orders of McDonald’s French fries! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Cincinnati woman needs a man for manly duties. As Ron Burgundy says, "It's science."

Andy Kaufman Visits Dave...in the a.m.



Exercise Yard

If you thought the Browns had a terrible season...Randy Lerner's Other Team is trying to save itself from total collapse. Today, another win tossed aside late. Aston Villa loses to ManU, 3-2. As a 17-year old knocks in the game winner.

In other soccer news, Fox Soccer Channel picked up the Champions League for three years, starting in 2009-10. ESPN has handled that for a while. FSC will show two live games and three taped per week. The Fox Sports Nets get a live Tuesday game. FSC will probably use the announcers from the international feed and also have pre and postgame shows and a daily wrapup show. The final moves to Saturday in 2010 (World Cup next year, too) and will be on Fx. BTW, FSC plans to launch HD by the end of the year. We'll see if Time Warner wakes up and gets it.

Overall, I think that's good news because it keeps FSC in the game. Because I sense ESPN is tossing aside the Champions League to take a crack at the EPL.

Lastly, Setanta is apparently going to be launched nationally on Comcast. However, "they are still working on" Time Warner. Which means probably never.

Visitor

None, winter is calling!

Finally took care of some technical issues around here. It really was the Tale of Two Technical Support Teams. The first was Time Warner Cable. For some reason, I stopped getting e-mails earlier in the week, but was still receiving them on my Blackberry. So, I dialed up the Time Warner Cable staff. Basically, I had to change my POP and SMTP addresses, because each time I was logging onto e-mail, I had to enter a User Name and Password. Hell, I had no idea what my password was. Only to find out from them it was a 16-character string of gibberish. When the person tells you they can't tell if a character is a "zero" or an "O", you know you're in trouble. Anyhow, they supplied me with those new addresses.

Well, that didn't work. Then I used the Web-based mail as they gave me a new password and voila! I was receiving my e-mails once again. But not on my Blackberry. BTW, 35 minutes to figure that out via Time Warner.

So, on to AT&T because I could not validate my e-mail to get the Blackberry running again. I was instructed to log on to the web-based e-mail after my new password from Time Warner was not working. Thinking I mistyped or something. Guess what? They sent me a password and it was completely different than what they told me the previous day. With that new password I went to the AT&T site and it validated my e-mail. Total time with AT&T: 5 minutes.

But I was still receiving the error message when grabbing my messages via Time Warner. The problem? They didn't tell me to use the new POP and SMTP as my Default and it was still checking both new and old. After I deleted the Old and made the New my Default. I then got every e-mail I was sent in the last 7 months. Again. So, I had to clean that box.

I guess Time Warner was OK, but it's as if they only got things 75% right. I mean, no excuse for changing passwords on me nor forgetting to tell me to make the new addresses the default. AT&T, as always, right on the ball for me.

Meal of Links

Last night, I was in the mood for some mindless entertainment, so I went to see "12 Rounds". Oy vey. Renny Harlin (remember him?) actually directed this. It starred Aidan Gillen as the villain. Gillen was the mayor in "The Wire" and actually did a good job in this, given the material. The lead was John Cena, the wrestler, as a Nawlins cop. It's sad that I like his acting in the ring better than his acting on screen, which was almost lifelike. OK, no one will see this and when you see the ads for the DVD in about two months, you'll say, "Oh, I vaguely remember something about that." New Orleans, on one hand has "Benjamin Button" filmed there, on the other, "12 Rounds".

It's not that it was "walk out" bad, but it was "stupid" bad, and you really did wanna stick around for the end. Cena has to cutoff a car at a bridge in the opening sequence. Is it a car chase? Of course not, did I mention this is a WWE Studios production? So, Cena outruns the car, which takes the most indirect route for an escape ever recorded on film. Meanwhile, Cena is running through backyards, down alleys, through a house (a la "Raising Arizona") and eventually stops the car. Gillen's girlfriend, who was driving, gets out of the car and tries to make a run for it, then gets splattered by a truck. Gillen, an alleged arms dealer and wanted by the FBI, vows revenge after Cena arrests him.

Exactly one year later, Gillen shows up in the Big Easy once more, after escaping from a Florida prison. One thing you will notice about this movie. Security is awfully lax in this time of the "Axis of Evil". Anyhow, Gillen forces Cena to go through "12 Rounds" after which a winner will be declared. Thank God this is not 1979 or I would have had to sit through "15 Rounds". To show where this is headed, Gillen calls Cena and then blows up his house, killing his plumber (who offered marital advice to Cena before his demise) and we're off and running again. Literally, as Cena tries to outrun a ferry. You see, Gillen is about to kidnap Cena's wife and Cena tries to stop it. He fails and we are onto Round 3.

Needless to say, the action sequences could have been better as Cena is put up to these tasks by Gillen, in an effort to beat the clock and move on to the next round. You have Cena driving fire trucks, rappelling down buildings, outrunning out-of-control streetcars at 35 mph, leaping off roofs onto helicopters. I have to mention the climactic helicopter scene where Gillen has forced Cena's wife to help him load body bags of money he stole from a division of the US Mint into the copter. I told you security was lax and plot be damned! Gillen has used Cena to this point to help set up the robbery and escape.

You may wonder why Cena's wife then? You see, she works at the hospital. It's mentioned early on, she has a night shift. You're thinking nurse, right? Not so fast, my friend. She flies the hospital emergency helicopter! Of course (smacking forehead), that's how Gillen can use her to escape...by flying the copter into the night. She stalls just enough to allow Cena onboard as an unwanted passenger and perform the eventual closing stunt of the movie. Well, I did seek mindless entertainment.

It was no wonder why only 8 were in attendance. Trailers were: "Dragonball: Revolution", "Crank 2 High Voltage", "Terminator Salvation", the "Black Guy Ritchie" film, "Next Day Air", and "X-Men Origins: Wolverine".

Speaking of trailers, the trailer for "Bruno" is out. Oh yeah, this looks good. Already has the NC-17 tag. More importantly, long-lost Richard Bey still has a show. At least I think so, according to the trailer.

Worst "Jeopardy" answer ever. Even if trying to be funny, he's not.

Steven Bach died earlier this week. His book, "The Final Cut" remains one of the best books about movie studios ever written. I still have that around here somewhere.

Neil Young loves his eco-car. He wants it to get 100 miles a gallon.

The new Hulu commercial with Seth MacFarlane makes me wonder. Does he go into these other voices at inopportune times?



Remember where Andy Dufresne met up with Red in Mexico at the end of "Shawshank". Um, they have drug wars there.

Guy steals TV. Rides a bike to and from crime scene. Someone takes a photo. He's arrested.

Another Palin relative is arrested. Looks like the law is rearing their head.

Exercise Yard

Hey it's Easter soon. How about this for a service? Jesus is the Ultimate Fighter, he doesn't tap out.

Visitor

33 Across: Spaghetti western director Sergio (5 letters) Answer: Leone

Not an April's Fool...

Raul Malo

Last night, my brother and I saw Raul Malo. Malo has been someone I have been dying to see for several years, but always had a conflict. Out of town, other plans, etc. He was the singer/songwriter with The Mavericks and has been solo for quite some time. He recently released "Lucky One", his first album of originals in 7 years. Plain fact is nobody has a voice like Raul Malo.

The Venue: The venerable Beachland Ballroom. Of course, this remains one of the best concert settings in town. They had the chairs set up for this one, with standing room along the sides and back. These were the first tickets I bought after the economy tanked, but for a Tuesday night, I thought the crowd was fine. Plus, they have Old Grand-Dad there, so I cannot complain.

Stage Banter:: Malo did not have that much to say. After taking a break after the first five songs or so, someone started to shout out old Mavericks tunes. He replied with a devilish grin, "Don't start that shit. I'm gonna play what I want and you're gonna like it...or not. Either way, I'm gonna play what I wanna want."

He also had two tequila breaks. The final one during a song he stopped in the encore. "Hey, tequila's on stage. Gotta stop. Don't worry, I promise we'll pick up right where we left off. You'll get your money's worth. Salud!" as he and his bandmates downed the shots.

The Tickets: Got the tickets ahead of time for this General Admission show. We grabbed a couple of seats at the end of a row on the left. Once again, no problems.

The Crowd: OK, another one where the crowd was considerably older. And we thought Nick Lowe drew the oldies. Ai-yi-yi! With the band encouraging the crowd to stand up, hardly anyone bit. And as I predicted, when Malo came out for his Encore, the crowd sat back down.

The Sound: The sound was awesome. Even the stand-up bass was coming through with floor-shaking clarity.

The opening act was Northeastern Ohio's own, The Magpies. Our Polka DJ guy handles the keyboards for this outfit. Not sure which one is his alter-ego. But they did a nice job for about 40 minutes or so and had more upbeat music than I thought they played.

The Stage: Malo had the full band effect in play. So, I am intrigued when a horn section shows up. We had horns (who doubled on guitar and keyboard) up front on the left, Malo (not Malcolm) with his guitars in the middle, and keyboards on the right. Drums were rear left, stand-up bass on a riser rear right. And they sounded great.

The Music: Raul Malo played about 90 minutes and grabbed a lot from the new album, but also touched upon some Mavericks tunes as well. As I said earlier, no one sings like this guy. You get the whole package: Jazz, Tejano, Texas Swing, Tradicional, Country, Rockabilly, Blues, Salsa. A terrific display of musical talent from him and his band.

Setlist: (I think)

"Every Little Thing About You"
"Lucky One"
"Dance The Night Away"
"Pretend" (A song Dwight Yoakam was born to cover. Do it, man!)

"Pretend"/Raul Malo



"Ready For My Lovin"
"Haunting Me"
"Lonely Hearts"
"Hello Again"
"So Beautiful" (Game over with regard to his voice on this ballad.)
"One More Angel" which led to...
"Guantanamera" (Yes, that "Guantanamera"!)
(I think I missed one here)

Encore:

"Today" (I thought we were gonna form a conga line to our cars)
"Moonlight Kiss"
"All You Ever Do Is Bring Me Down" (The old Mavericks hit.)

"Today"/Raul Malo



Meal of Links

This movie can't help but be good. Franco and McBride together again.

"The Simpsons" try and save the Postal Service. Their stamps were approved.

Stephen Colbert deconstructs Glenn Beck. He comes up with the "10/31 Project". "Circus Peanuts." Hah! "I just love Glenn Beck's sanity. And I fear for it." Hilarious.

How to help yourself avoid carpal tunnel syndrome.

Hulu now has "Nova" programs. Very cool.

Exercise Yard

Citi Field, new home of the Mets, has parfats. Among other delicacies.

Visitor

27 Down: Jazz guitarist Montgomery (3 letters) Answer: Wes