Today was spent finishing up a tradition unlike any other, the annual viewing of the final round of The Masters. Unfortunately, FIGJAM was paired up with Tiger Woods and, of course, got me ready to set my remaining hair on fire, as he tied The Masters record for the front nine with a -6. And then tossing it away by hitting a terrible shot into the drink on 12. Then missing incredibly easy putts on 15 and 17. Tiger hung in there and actually threatened us with some almost memorable play until he proceeded to butcher his last two holes...again. He is really having trouble finishing his rounds there.

But the oddity of the day was the CBS coverage. I realize the entire golf world wanted to see FIGJAM or Tiger come from way back to win this thing, but they were too far behind. I'll grant you that one or two of the three leaders (Perry, Cabrera or Campbell) may have totally melted down, but not all three of 'em. To have Jim Nantz declare that Kenny Perry "had ceded control of the tournament" while he was STILL LEADING THE MASTERS was one of the oddest things I've heard from this guy. FIGJAM and Woods were still 2 and 3 shots back respectively at the time. Talk about hyperbole. Then after Perry missed a short putt at 13, the usually reliable Peter Kostis said that Masters nerves were getting to Perry. Not sure how he would explain Perry's birdies at 15 and 16 shortly thereafter.

It's amazing how they wanna bury a guy like Perry early. Then when he really deserves to get hammered for some bad play, like he had on the last two holes of regulation and both playoff holes, they don't hammer him enough for gagging. I mean that was some really awful play there and we can chime in and say how well he played early, but Perry really spit the bit at the end.

And a tip of the hat to Angel Cabrera. He won the green jacket and didn't get caught smoking on camera once. Only active golfers with a Masters and a US Open win? Why that would be Tiger Woods and Angel Cabrera.

But the award for the player who finishes in the Top 16, an automatic invite for the 2010 Masters, with the least amount of TV time goes to...Todd Hamilton. Virtually ignored on the CBS weekend coverage after shooting 68 on Thursday and 70 on Friday, Hamilton's only shot on the Sunday coverage was his incredible par save after hitting into the water on 12. Geoff Ogilvy was probably the runner-up, despite rolling in 5 straight birdies on the back nine on Sunday.

Meal of Links

I think some people are truly psychic. But if you're a psychic, can you really cancel performances due to "unforeseen television commitments"? Not sure that's gonna fly.

Sometimes, pirates be damned, you have to perform these military exercises. What a story this has been.

Give up alcohol for a month? Hey, sobriety is over-rated.

Exercise Yard

A few things from Opening Day I failed to mention:

Beer from vendors has now reached the $7.00 mark.

The fish they promised to those honoring their Good Friday commitments was only available at two stands, one lower and one upper. But was not helped by any signage and not announced until the heavier rain showed up in the 4th inning. Shouldn't advertise it, then abandon it.

You'll probably notice this, especially when bad crowds are in attendance. But the first row of the more expensive seats is now sponsored by Mercedes-Benz. Cushioned seats with Mercedes-Benz logos are what first-row patrons now sit in.

The leftfield foul pole is now sponsored by Walgreens. Sadly, the lonely rightfield foul pole remains unsponsored.

And the Indians won their first game of the season. So the crowds forming at the 480 bridge have subsided. For now.

Visitor

None, on a sunny but cold Easter Sunday.