I like a good conspiracy theory just like anyone else. I mean Ken Lay may be vacationing in a sunny spot right this minute. But did you happen to look in on the horror show that C-Span broadcast this weekend? There was a conference on 9/11 and these nutbags are claiming the government committed the act.

Oh, I'll give you the plane crash at the Pentagon is odd that the plane totally disintegrated and I'll give you the PA plane was probably shot out of the sky. But the US government actually placed explosives at the WTC? That seems a bit out there. But I guess the Kennedy assassination is a tired act and we need to move on. Again, I'm not dismissing all of these theories, maybe it's that the developers of these theories appear to be people you couldn't ask for directions, without a 10-minute tirade coming back at you.

Anyhow, here are some places to check out.

Obviously, to start, you need to view "Loose Change". It's compelling in a Michael Moore kind of way, but still way too many factual errors, and the moviemakers seem to be relishing the spotlight a bit too much.

Radio talk show host Alex Jones, the moderator of the conference, seems like a snake oil salesman to me, but I think there is something to his rap, beyond the delivery and the rhetoric.

The group, Scholars for 9/11 Truth, has experts that suggest the events of 9/11 may have been orchestrated by elements within the administration to manipulate Americans into supporting policies at home and abroad they would never have condoned absent "another Pearl Harbor." Their spokespeople would be described as that ubiquitous "fringe element".

And that's just a start.

Meal of Links

Mel Gibson says, "I am an alcoholic." Looks like Mel had a relapse and decided to blame the Jews for his arrest. That can't be good.

Your surroundings determine your diet. If it's a 44-oz. cup, you'll drink it. And I have.

Life goes on in post-Katrina Nawlins. Now it's 80 murders this year. That $28 million ad campaign for tourism can't start fast enough.

Exercise Yard

Last night, HBO had another of its "Boxing After Dark" series. The feature bout was "Vicious" Vivian Harris against Stevie "Little But Bad" Johnston, live from the Chumash Casino.

Going in, you hoped Stevie was not over-the-hill. He was and lived up to his nickname for all the wrong reasons. Oh, he showed lots of heart, but Harris knocked him down four times and TKO'ed him in the 7th. Harris looked pretty good, firing the right hand and connecting often. Johnston took the fight on two weeks notice and although in shape, really needs to hang it up after this one. He's done.

Visitor

None, it's a hot Sunday.

A funny thing happened to my Dad on the way to get back surgery. Turns out he needed a heart bypass, so that surgery is on hold. Yesterday, he had the procedure over at Parma, a hospital that has really turned itself around over the last decade, now affiliated with the Cleveland Clinic. He had a triple bypass. In the words of Kramer, a "zipper job". It seems this is a fairly common procedure these days. Three-and-a-half hours later, it was done, and he was on his way to the recovery room. Yesterday, he had lots of tubes in him and a bunch of monitoring systems. I was there for the surgery and stopped in right after and again in the late afternoon and never saw him awake. But the surgery was deemed a success and he was resting comfortably.

I spent a few hours with him today and, my goodness, you wouldn't have even known he had major surgery the day before. A lot less tubes and machines and he's sitting up, coherent, and telling his silly jokes (Before the operation example, when I got to see him in the pre-op room. Me: "You look like a million bucks!" Him: "What? Green and wrinkled?"), as usual. All the staff says how funny he is, quite the character, and all that stuff. Even his main nurse, who I termed "really cute" at first but then amended to "she is the hawt", wishes her Dad was like that.

Anyhow, it's a most incredible surgery. He maintained his color pretty well and I'm sure there will be trials and tribulations with getting back on solid food and struggling with his back again. But, for the moment, I think everyone is in awe of how modern medicine can do some really wonderful things.

Meal of Links

Best Friend gave me the book, "Miracle in the Andes", for my birthday. You remember the incident. The one where the rugby team from Uruguay crashed in the Andes and they had to resort to eating the dead to survive. This is the story of a survivor who, with a teammate, hiked down from the mountain and was able to find help to rescue the remaining survivors. A tale of how he was driven by the love of his father to survive. So, what better time to crack it open and I thought it was a really good read.

If you want it to appear that people have to call you all the time, I give you the "Popularity Dialer". You know where you can reach me best, don't you?

What if you were tormented by "Cats That Look Like Hitler"? Check out the "Best Kitlers". You'll laugh.













That Pam Anderson will age ya pretty fast.

Exercise Yard

Another American doper in track. This time, it's Justin Gatlin. He's only the current world record holder at 100 meters. Remember when the USA actually cared about this sport, instead of "only at the Olympics"?

Visitor

1 Down: Pioneer of the programmable computer (7 letters) Answer: Babbage

Drew and I went to O'Rielly's last night. I really like that place, but Cedar Road by Cedar Center is a mess these days. They continue to have some of the best pub food around at O'Rielly's. I vowed the next time I ate there if the Po' Boy was on the menu, I'd have to get it. Well, it took me two years to have it on the specials board when I was there and of course, it was chow time. Awesome sandwich.

Meal of Links

What's up with David Hasselhoff? No news on him for years, now he's consistently making scenes wherever he goes. Remember, "He's the Hoff".

Diabetics should go vegan. Shouldn't everyone try to eat more veggies and scale back on the dairy? Seems like an unnecessary study.

An anti-smoking vaccine is being tested. I imagine if it works, Big Tobacco will be rendered helpless. Uh...nope.

Exercise Yard

Before we crucify Floyd Landis in the latest doping scandal to hit cycling, a few reminders. He was not tested for having high testosterone, it was his ratio that was out of whack. Secondly, everyone who has had this high result has had it overturned with their B-sample or further testing.

Conversely, the bad result came after one of the most phenomenal rides in recent Tour history. And the Phonak team has been charitably described as dirty for a long time. There is a shadow, but let's not go overboard. Yet.

Visitor

25 Down: "La Dolce Vita" actress (5 letters) Answer: Aimee

"I want my Mooch!". Just like the MTV campaign of the '80s. I've discovered that with my cable changing from Adelphia to Time Warner, the kind folks at TWC have not deemed it necessary to carry the NFL Network in Digital or HD. What kind of backwater operation is this? Especially with the NFL Network picking up live NFL games later in the year, including that third Thanksgiving game. Oh, Time Warner will act like they're interested, but let's face it, they've already had two years to get this deal done.

At least, other communities have the same fate. I think the change begins next Tuesday. The idea of getting Court TV On Demand and not the NFL Network is criminal.

Meal of Links

I really don't care about Lance Bass. I mean the last I heard from him, he wanted to be a spaceman. But what I do care about is the fact his boyfriend is from "The Amazing Race". Again, it's that faux celebrity status that irks me. "Hey I ate bugs in "Fear Factor", where's my celebrity dolla? I'm an actor." Sheesh.

Ben Broussard is traded for a guy you can only say Gesundheit to, Shin Soo-Choo. At least he is a promising prospect. Strange that our Opening Day first base platoon is now Seattle's first base platoon.

"Arrested Development" lives on in syndication. G4, MSN and HDnet allows it to be aired online, digitally and in HD.

Exercise Yard

Gale, Nomar Stalker and I attended Dollar Hot Dog Day last night, as the Indians beat Detroit. I had two of these dogs and boy, did I feel it overnight. The highlight was not Grady Sizemore's triple, always an exciting play, or the rarity of an even more exciting inside-the-park home run by the beloved Casey Blake.

Nope, the highlight for me was a conversation after the game with Random Urban Type. Mind you, I was wearing my "Black Power Salute" t-shirt depicting the '68 Mexico City Olympic Games.

RUT: "Were you in Mexico City in 1968?"
Me (chuckling): "No, I was too young back then."
(Pause...More Pause...Even More Pause)
RUT: "You ain't that young."
Me: "Thank you."

Visitor

10 Down: Former talk show host Tom (6 letters) Answer: Snyder

I am not a big fan of Nancy Grace. Did anyone catch old friend Elizabeth Smart telling Nancy to pound salt last week. Smart is trying to help pass some bill through Congress and Nancy kept asking her about the kidnapping.

Nancy Grace is Insane


Hahahahahahahahaha! Take that! Good for her. I thought Smart was brainwashed by her faith back then and might still be. But that was a great comeback.

Meal of Links

The Television Critics Association handed out their awards on Sunday. They don't round up the usual suspects, so it's much more representative than the Emmys.

Bob Geldof is scheduled to play a concert in Milan. Only 45 show up. 45 in a venue that seats 12,000! 45! I can't comprehend that.

"The Simpsons" have released their celebrity guest voices for the coming season. The White Stripes with an early appearance. "Due to the length of today's football game, "King of the Hill" will not be seen tonight, "The Simpsons will air at its regular time at 8 p.m. Eastern." It could and probably will occur.

Exercise Yard

Paul O'Neill headbutts a horse. Not that Paul O'Neill. The jockey, Paul O'Neill. Watch the video. I swear the horse looks pissed.

Visitor

33 Across: "Broadcast News" costar (11 letters) Answer: Holly Hunter "Not that motherscratcher."

I made my first foray into the abyss known as The Cheesecake Factory on Friday. I know, I know, the last person in America to try it. I didn't even know there was a bar in there. We must have picked the correct evening, as it was not crowded and we were seated riight away.

I think if there is a next time, I'll stick to the appetizers, because they were decent. Tex-mex egg rolls, taquitos and buffalo chicken wings were sampled. Then I decided I wasn't very hungry and got one of their "specialities", teriyaki chicken. It was OK, not the greatest. Then four of us split a piece of Chocolate Oreo Mudslide cheesecake, some chocolate thing with oreos in it. It reminded me more of pudding, instead of cheesecake, and that was not necessarily a bad thing. But, I can see how people pig out on those desserts. It's just that you have to have a bit of moderation during your meal.

Meal of Links

Helmets are made for all kids of sports now. Overall safety is debated.

We were regaling kids the other day with nostalgic stories about the milkman and the paperboy. As further proof, the old ways don't cut it anymore, malls increasingly turn to restaurants and movies for their anchors.

Maybe if my eyes get bad enough, I'll need the 103-inch plasma TV from Panasonic. Only 70 grand.

Exercise Yard

HBO came through with an interesting doubleheader last night. The first bout was the Mosley-Vargas replay from last week. "Sugar" Shane Mosley looked better than he has in a long time and disptached Vargas in the 6th. Let's face it, Fernando Vargas phoned this one in. He looked completely disinterested and it's tough to judge Mosley's performance on that point. Of course, Mosley now wants Mayweather. But not this year. He says let someone else fight Floyd in November and he'll take him on in early 2007. Money talks, but not with Shane. So, we'll see if Oscar de la Hoya takes the November bout.

The second fight had champ Carlos Baldimir taking on Arturo "Thunder" Gatti on Gatti's home turf in Atlantic City. It was Gatti's 20th bout on HBO. Gatti ate Baldimir's right hand all night and these were big shots. Gatti is not built for 147 as he threw punches that hurt the smaller guys, but Baldimir probably thought it was a fly or something, the way he shook them off. Gatti got his butt kicked and finally got KO'ed in the ninth. Gatti's legendary warrior mentality and comeback ability disintegrated fairly quickly after five rounds, then the crowd decided their boy was not going to come through and they sat on their hands. It was not surprising that it happened, given Gatti is 34. What is surprising is how poor of a showing it was. The years of pounding caught up to him in one night. Baldimir is 35, however, and looks pretty fresh right now.

After the fight, guess who Baldimir called out? That would be Mayweather. I think Floyd Landis got off his bike today and challenged Mayweather, as well. Jee-zus, talk about the golden goose right now.

Anyhow, it was a strange night for HBO, as two of their feature boxers, Gatti and Vargas, are seemingly headed for retirement at the same time. It shows how fickle the game can be. The HBO cards, while decent the next few weeks, have nothing that looks exciting on paper. Lots of retreads, including Sharmba Mitchell, Ike Quartey and others, might make for interesting bouts, but nothing earth shattering. That's why Mayweather's next fight is so highly anticipated.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

"HeadOn...Apply directly to the forehead." Can these words, when strung together, comprise the most irritating phrase on TV today?

Ugh


Sticking with commercials, that woman on "The World According to Jane" ad is freaking me out. I think it's for IBM, but I can't tell because she's doing some Mugatu thing on me. "I been hypnotized."

Meal of Links

"Snakes on a Plane" is coming soon. Come on, Samuel L. chasing after snakes on a motherfuckin' plane. Major box office on this one.

Wouldn't it be great to talk to as many musicians as Robert Hilburn? From Janis Joplin to Jack White.

Microsoft goes to the lab and comes up with the..."iPod Killer". It's called Zune.

Exercise Yard

Floyd Landis is on the verge of winning the Tour de France after a really good time trial today. History dictates the yellow jersey is never toyed with on the ride into Paris tomorrow, so he basically has won. But someone may want to trifle with tradition. Anyhow, look for the guy in the ugly green Phonak outfit. That's Floyd.

Visitor

4 Down: "Kennedy" biographer (8 letters) Answer: Sorensen

We'll miss you, "Jaws of Life".
















The white flag finally got raised at Ontario and Carnegie as Wicky Wicky Bob got traded to Atlanta. If you read between the lines, the Indians saw this as another opportunity to save cash. Otherwise, why wouldn't we trade our closer for a major leaguer?

No, Mark Shapiro talked mumbo-jumbo about the idea of taking a younger player, catcher Max Ramirez, with a higher ceiling. Meaning we won't have to face the processes of arbitration and potential free agency with Max for a long time, because of his age. As a matter of fact, we passed up the Braves' top prospect, who was a AA catcher, opting for a Single-A guy. Larry Dolan makes me want to puke.

However, it is way too soon to judge this trade. Wickman will probably retire soon and we may have Ramirez for several years after that. And he may not even be a catcher, as he is just learning the position, being a former third baseman. But maybe we could have received a little more in a deal, as a Lake County for Fulton County deal doesn't seem equitable, at this point.

Meal of Links

Haley Joel Osment wrecks his car. But couldn't it have been a better car?

On my way to work this a.m, there was a bad wreck that called for life flighting, Route 8 closed both north and south, and major traffic tie-ups. I barely got through the toll booth at 8, before I had to park it. I cranked the radio and started the Sudoku while I waited. I'm a sympathetic sort, but what else could I have done?

The 1981 Atari Game Catalog. That's 25 years ago, but it could be the 1700s as far as gaming is concerned.

Exercise Yard

Floyd Lazarus, I mean Landis, rode a race at today's Tour de France that cannot be overstated. It was a ride of EPIC proportions, one for the history books. It may have been the greatest one-day ride in the history of the event. Pick a name: Lemond, Hinault, Indurain, Merckx, Armstrong. It was that good. Given up for dead after yesterday's collapse, Landis wins Stage 17.

The wackiest of Tours continues, with Landis now only 30 seconds behind Periero for the yellow jersey. He has an excellent chance of succeeding Lance. It's there for the taking. Again.

Visitor

21 Across: Group with the album, "Hey Ho Let's Go!" (7 letters) Answer: Ramones

I took my Dad and his bad back over to the Expressway Diner today for dinner. Jeepers, do they have a fairly extensive menu. It's down the street from me and open 24 hours a day. For diner food, it was pretty decent, I must say. I opted for the Chopped Steak and it was tasty.

It's amazing how few 24-hour joints there are in town. I'm not talking McDonald's, but places where societal dregs are rampant. Maybe this is the place.

Meal of Links

Disney is axing everyone these days. Including the female head of the motion picture division.

The Mercury nominees have been announced. Scritti Politti...who knew?

See how many folks have your first name throughout the decades. I peaked in the '40s, but am still a Top 20 name. Please check out the rise and fall of Fallon.

Exercise Yard

Floyd Landis spit the bit today at the Tour de France. Got absolutely dusted on the last climb. Maybe a stronger team could have pulled him through, but yikes, did he fall way back today. Rasmussen with the most beautiful stage win, by his lonesome. Periero regains the yellow jersey.

Tomorrow: The most brutal climb of this year's Tour.

Visitor

25 Across: Houston athlete (5 letters) Answer: Astro

Had a blackout at the palatial estate last night. My conspiracy sense was tingling. Lemme see, hot day, record power use, "Let's shut it down! Shut it down!" Out for only five hours, he said sarcastically. Saved me from viewing the Indians debacle.

The power is fine today, so before I went spoke crazy tonight with Le Tour, it did allow me to see Rachael Ray's visit to Cleveland with her "Tasty Travels" program. Is she getting goofier? Here is where she visited.

West side locations:

Fahrenheit
Sokolowski's University Inn
Touch Supper Club

East side locations:

Guarino's
Mad Greek
Fire

Downtown:

Fat Fish Blue
Sans Souci
Hornblower's
Pickwick & Frolic

Apparently not East, West nor Downtown:

Nighttown

Goofy's Hot List:

Johnny Mango for juices and shakes.
Steve's Lunch for chili dogs.
Great Lakes Brewing for beer.

Meal of Links

Looks like the Dave Navarro/Carmen Electra marriage has ended. I guess maybe they shouldn't have married in the first place, especially when he's had a new girlfriend for five months. Ah, who knows? He can concentrate more on "Rock Star: Supernova" now.

This guy does not like Joe Lieberman. I'm not a big fan, going back to his anti-video game crusade several years ago.

It was only a matter of time. YouTube sued for copyright infringement.

Exercise Yard













Today at the Tour de France, it was L'Alpe d'Huez, the "Cathedral of Cycling". Twenty-one turns, several tough climbs, and 500,000 nutbags making up the crowd. Great race today, I'll be amazed if anyone has anything left for tomorrow. Looks like one-hipped Floyd Landis has the title in his sight, but the margin could have been higher. Good old, or should I say good young, Frank Schleck the Luxembourger, won the stage, while Landis regained the yellow jersey. Two more days in the Alps.

Visitor

43 Across: "The Tough-Minded Optimist" author (5 letters) Answer: Peale

Things revolving around me recently:

The Jehovah's are having an assembly at the Bart later this month. How do I know this? Knock on door with personal invite.

I like the Cartoon Network's billboard: "I have a meat beard".

Harborfest was in town this weekend. Again, an event that appeals to the "plantation hat" wearing crowd, skewing a bit older, I'd say. Regardless, the appeal of standing in very hot weather to see boats at a dock with no sails up is lost on me. As I'm walking this a.m., I have this conversation by the Stadium:

Lady (standing by wheelchair): "Are you from around here?"
Me: "Yes, ma'am."
Lady (pointing behind Rock Hall): "Can you tell me if I can get to the ships by going that way?"
Me: "Yes, under normal conditions, you can go around the Rock Hall and walk down the pier to get close."
Lady: "Oh, I don't know, I'd hate to go that way, then have to go back."
Me: "I hear you. As I said, the road is blocked now. People are walking that way, if they are getting through, I can't say."
Lady: "I think it would be open."
Me (irritated): "Listen, it's your call."
Lady (still wanting me to make her decision); "Thank you."

OK, if you are standing by your wheelchair, I'm guessing you are not that bad off. I"m not suggesting she walk from there, but she sure as hell could have parked a lot closer, making her ride over there less of an adventure. Why someone on a warm day like today would pick that particular day to take their wheelchair (of course, while sitting in it) and pay to see some parked boat is incredible to me.

Besides, the coolest thing this a.m. was the helicopter lifting the scaffolding and other equipment to the top of the AT&T building on Huron, so the workers can do the work up there. There is nothing like seeing a big-ass helicopter lifting shit up, because they hover way above the building, so the equipment is gently placed up there. Somehow, people got wind of it, as they were taking video and snapshots along East 9th. The best part, it was gratis.

Today, I saw two extremely large people on the same motorcycle, wearing helmets. The circus elements literally attached to that made me laugh out loud.

Last night, I'm driving home on West 25th and because it was so hot, it seemed that every Hispanic was out, most at some club north of I-90. As I'm going through this guantlet de la raza, guy pulls out of his parking spot, but has to wait for a guy who chose that moment to cross the street. OK, he sees the guy in plenty of time and the other guy didn't exactly pick up the pace to cross. But car guy decides to stop and yell at crossing guy. I'm thinkin' here we go, but I think the music is too loud and the guy ignores him. Meanwhile, I realize I'm now driving behind some crazy dude, who may at any given time, explode for no reason. He did end up double parking south of Clark for no apparent reason, as I quickly got away.

As I'm buying my Jewish Rye from Mazzone's today, some dude is intruding on my personal space. I stopped after my walk, it was hot and I was a bit sweaty, but not obnoxiously so. Just have my backward cap and Lite Beer shirt (normal logo on left chest) on, and shorts obviously. He didn't stroll over in some gay way because his conversation revolved around a wife, but in an extremely weird dude kind of way. He seemed to be interested in the Lite Beer logo for some unknown reason, as he was staring at it. I ignored him and didn't back away. He gets his stuff and he's leaving. Of course, with my luck, I notice the back of his shirt which reads, "Would you like to wax my Woody?" All right, there was a picture of a Ford, but do I need to reconsider his motives?

If you are considering a vacuum cleaner, you must get the Hoover Bagless Wind Tunnel. This crazy thing has the big spotlight for night cleaning (why else?), and a red and green light. The red light stays on and gives you the Embedded Dirt signal until it turns green, signalling it's OK to move on. It's an awesome machine and I like it tons.

Meal of Links

We wandered down to the Winking Lizard's "Shot in the Dark" last night. Actually, Gale and I attended by proxy. You camp out on Alesci's patio and listen to the band. Thank God, it was breezy. Anyhow, the band typifies what is wrong with some local cover band-types, I think. You see, they had a female singer and although the band was gifted musically, she had a voice that didn't match up well with their selections. Hey, I think women can sing Alice in Chains, but not this one. I think women can sing "Been Caught Stealing", but not this one. She did well with a Madonna song and a couple of others, but "Superstition", uh-uh. I don't know who they were, but it irked me. And Ingenuity was going on, hell, I thought that was free. But, as I always say, it's good if people show up downtown on a non-sporting event night, regardless of why.

Revisiting "Blue Velvet" is always a good thing. "Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!"

Chris Angell Levitation


SPOLILER ALERT: Chris shows how he performs this stunt.

Exercise Yard

I haven't mentioned the "Tour", post-Lance, very much, but we are heading to the mountains this week with this year's race seemingly wide open. Here's the scoop on Floyd Landis, who is riding with a broken hip. He is currently second.

Side note: If you have never watched the Tour de France, this is the week to catch a bit of it. The mountain stages are what the race is all about.

Visitor

None, it's a hot Sunday.

You turn your head for a bit and World War III breaks out, or in the very least, an "open war" as Hezbollah puts it. For once, the press is doing a good job sorting out things, because this is one where you need a roster to keep up with who's who and why do they hate that guy, or if they already hated that guy, why are they lobbing missiles at him now, and who's backing who. Here's one man's version. Plus, gas prices are going up.

Meal of Links

Went to Gillespie's Map Room (the old Grid) on West 9th last night for some pizza. It's a good place, because it keeps me away from the West 6th chaos, although we did have the chaperone hats on standby. Probably the most "normal", for lack of a better term, bar in the Warehouse District, Not much of a menu. Dogs for a buck, sausages, brats and pizza. Ah, the pizza. Outstanding. Three-item large for $12.50. And our beer tab (Bud Light drafts and Michelob Ultra) was $26 for five hours of work. So, the beers were cheap, the Tribe game was on, Johnny Cash was on the jukebox and there were nice-lookin' guys and gals there. I liked it.

"Roger and I are both fit and well, ready to rock." My new credo. It's The Who on tour! No Cleveland dates yet, but lots of wiggle room.

General Motors plots its survival. Perhaps an alliance with Renault and Nissan. Perhaps, a Le Escalade Car in the future.

Exercise Yard

Did Michelle Wie pull a Cosby? A long time ago, on one of Bill Cosby's records, he intimated that if he was getting killed in a race during a track meet, he would pull up lame to take the focus off the fact that Cos was getting his ass kicked.

Lemme see, Wie shoots a 77 in round 1 and was the only golfer to withdraw in round 2 because of the heat. BTW, she wasn't going to make the cut. Listen, she's a talented 16-year old, but with corporate sponsors and good publicity to this point, is it just too convenient to quit against the men and blame the heat? I'm just askin'.

Visitor

55 Across: 20th-century European leader for over 30 years (4 letters) Answer: Tito

It's warm out, the kind of day that screams "ditch class" or, at the very least, "alfresco dining". Gale and I headed over to Crocker Park for some chow. We ended up at Aladdin's Eatery (turn sound down on site). I like it there. I had a great seat and stared at some random gorgeous woman while I was stuffing myself. Gale, on the other hand, had a view of people fainting on their way out of the Cheesecake Factory. Seating was totally luck of the draw. You see, the sun was shining and... When we (or was it I?) saw that woman at Trader Joe's afterward, it bordered on stalking.

Anyhow, food was superb, as usual. We plowed through the vegetarian combo. I have no idea what half that crap was, but it was good. You say falaffel and I say fa-laugh-el. Not a fan of dawali (grape leaves) though. Washed that appetizer down with a really good rolled spicy kafta. Now I feel like the Underdog float at Macy's.

Meal of Links

With the bombing of the trains (the new Pamplona?) in Bombay, all I could think about was that old Police song, "Bombs Away" in old Bombay. Then people start talking about Mumbai, which is what Bombay is now called. Hey, it took me years to refer to it as Beijing, and "it'll always be Burma to me", but why did the Bombay/Mumbai change occur? Here's why. And it only happened 11 years ago.

What's with HBO? No "Sopranos" until March. Looks like no new "Curb Your Enthusiasm" until 2007. They better find some "Extras" episodes.

Two Kentucky Derby winners are in the news. The 2006 winner, Barbaro, is fighting death because of a sore tootsie. And 2002 winner, War Emblem...well...he's gay.

Exercise Yard

While waiting for the sports world to pick up, there is new visual evidence regarding the Zidane headbutt. Plus, there are some decent stories floating about concerning activities at our nation's ballparks.

I keep waiting for the Indians to allow randoms to sleep over at Jacobs Field. Hopefully, the scouts who were able to do that last week didn't screw it up for the future. The Dodgers had their first sleepover last weekend. Sounds like fun. The Giants cut their price to $180 for their sleepover this year.

SI has a series where writers are hitting the road for some baseball trips. I think I've found the place for me. The Duck Blind in Madison, WI. Are you kidding me? Minor league baseball, including all the beer and food you can cram down your gullet for $32.

Visitor

3 Down: "Elephant Boy" actor (3 letters) Answer: Sabu

I sit down to watch the All-Star Game last night and I cannot take Tim McCarver anymore. With Brad Penny throwing like he never has before, consistently hitting 98 and 99 mph on the gun, McCarver opens his yap. Ortiz sees two strikes and he says, "Penny keeps throwing hard. Mark Wahlberg. Catch me if you can." Joe Buck either ignored him or thought that was so bad, he'd let his broadcast partner hang out there by himself. First of all, there were probably about 5% of us who knew what point he was trying to make. And that took me a few seconds. It took several more seconds, then I realized he meant to say DiCaprio. Jee-zus, was that a stretch. Then when Fox had a recording of "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" after Vlad Guerrero hit a homer, I had to leave the game. You see, that song represents Vlad's apparent lack of a strike zone, as he'll hit a pitch in any location. I'm not making this up.

Then I learn today MLB extends Fox's contract. Six more years of this crap.

So, Fox keeps the World Series and one LCS, thus far. Increases Saturdays to 26 games. I'm curious to see the exclusivity in these deals. Currently, Fox blacks out all potentially televised games til 4:00 Eastern, the Internet, as well. For example, Tribe has a Saturday game at 1:00, not televised by Fox. STO cannot broadcast that game. Now TBS will take the post-season Divisional Series and add Sunday broadcasts, as well. I have seen no mention of exclusives on that package yet. Curious to see where that leads.

BTW, what does Travis Hafner need to do to become an All-Star? Too many times he's been snubbed. Although I think Hank Greenberg knocked in 101 runs in 1935 and he didn't go either. Strange one that.

Meal of Links

Christie Brinkley loses another husband. Gee, she seems like a nice person on those Chuck Norris commercials. We debated at work if she was really nice or really a psycho. Not sure, but I'll be looking for her in the food line at Sheetz.

Microsoft rolls out some retro '80s games. I like the fact "Galaga" is getting some run. Way too much coin was spent on that one.

Since I am now familiar with the topic, it's good to know what an expert has to say about being confronted by killer bees. Run. Really fast. And don't look for help from the authorities either.

Exercise Yard

Paws lost the Mascot Home Run Derby. Sports suck the last few days, eh?

If this were the PGA Tour, wouldn't Ryan Howard, T.C. and Andy Marte meet in Hawaii for a competition?

Visitor

63 Across: Sommer of films (4 letters) Answer: Elke

It was announced today that Syd Barrett, the founding member of Pink Floyd, died sometime last week. Syd was one of the most influential guitarists of his time, with many of the biggest stars, including Bowie and Townshend, citing him as a major influence on their work. But drug use and mental illness claimed him early on and he remained a great mystery of the rock era, a virtual recluse, much like Mark McGwire after Congress.

There are endless stories of how Syd, near the end of his time with Pink Floyd, would go on stage and be catatonic or strum a few notes here and there. Gilmour was hired into the band for distraction purposes and eventually they dropped Syd from the band. The last time the band saw him was in 1975, the first time in five years at that point, for crying out loud. Nobody recognized him, as he had gained weight and shaved his head. Eerily, the band was recording "Wish You Were Here" at that time and he just showed up, never to re-enter their lives, as far as I know.

But I get a sense the band still looked out for him. He got his royalties while living at his Mom's house, and Roger Waters gave a shoutout to Syd at last year's Live 8, and has a tribute to him during his present tour during "Shine On, You Crazy Diamond", where he unveils a huge poster of Syd.

At least we got to see his genius for a little while. For Syd.

Meal of Links

Today is the 25th anniversary of the Big Gulp. Can we trace health stats back to this epic achievement? Is this when America decided that portions be damned and bladders need to be expanded and limit-tested? To mark the occasion, you get 25% more Gulp for free. That still does not beat the keg-sized drinks at the movies, though.

Just when you thought the world was safe. "Anerican Idol" auditions!

Sing Along With Elvis


Yep, it's "I Can't Stand Up For Falling Down" with lyrics to follow along. At the time, "Get Happy" was universally panned, but I've always kinda liked that album and I like this song very much. Plus, you get the band in some videos that seemed to have a budget of about $25. The budget for this one I think went mostly for the fish and chips. Also, the Attractions are performing some of the worst choreography ever and Elvis seems to be channeling Swifty Lazar and Madness simultaneously. I mean, who can't dance like that? Definitely not to be confused with the Temptations.

Exercise Yard

The Good: Andy Marte won the AAA All-Star Home Run Derby.

The Bad: He won't get called up the Indians for at least 2 more weeks.

The Ugly: He uses "Chacarron Macarron" by El Mudo as his intro music.

Visitor

63 Across: Actress Thurman (3 letters) Answer: Uma

Has the "I lost my wallet" scam worked in, let's say, the last 25 years? I was on the receiving end of this story again today. This time it was, I'm from Cincinnati and came with my wife to pick up my daughter, who just had a baby. You can see her in the car. So, I start with the questions, here is what I get. I'm 238 miles from home, the daughter is 16, and they just used the wife's last seven dollars to get where they were. So, we have three people with no money and no credit cards, And one person who is really tired of hearing these stories.

Meal of Links

I think this story was grossly underplayed. Live Nation bought House of Blues Entertainment last week. This gives them Blossom, Tower City and House of Blues locally for concerts. I cannot see cheaper tickets.

Dan Rather signs with HDNet. I love Cubes, he's always working on something.

Gary Dee planning his own funeral. It's amazing how many callers our "Fearless Leader" gets in just a few minutes. It shows how he dominated the ratings back then. "People Power!" Part Ten has a guy ask if his liver is for sale. He also says John Manalesco shows his Zodiac in public. Part 23 has Carl Monday(!) reporting on the motorcade. Gary Dee, one of a kind.

Exercise Yard

Brian Windhorst tries to figure out LeBron's contract demands. Whatever he decides, let's quit worrying about it until his next option year, four years from now.

We have him for four more years. If we get good and win, he'll stay. Oh, it'll cost us, but we can still max him out later. But get his signature on something soon.

Visitor

53 Across: Loren of "Two Women" (6 letters) Answer: Sophia

My bee stings did not translate into any super powers, so it's back to normal. Yesterday, Best Friend and I attended "The Lake House". Four other people decided to forego a pretty day and attend this flick, so it gave us lots of room to gawk at Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. Her Keanu reaction was more of a "Take your shirt off, get naked" kind of thing. My Sandra reaction was more of extreme sighing when she appeared onscreen. Until the one scene where she had to run out to help an accident victim and I said, "Omigod, she has a fat ass." I believe an early Keanu comment of mine was met with an elbow, so I had to pick my spots regarding his appearances.

As for the movie, come on. When you mess with the time continuum, you better have some villians running around. I think the villian in this one was the "magic mailbox" which allowed these letters to be sent back and forth through time. Lemme see. Sandra is a single doctor who lives in Chicago, but her social life is so bad, she plays chess with her dog? Yikes. And Keanu is an architect who keeps finding it difficult to live up to his father's impossible standards. Whatever. Anyhow, they send letters back and forth, have a chance meeting, and realize they are made for each other, but can't seem to figure out how to meet again. Jeezy creezy, have they ever heard of e-mail or Ma Bell? Overall, it was not so good, and I grade it "Return to Sender".

Meal of Links

Friday night, we headed over to Velocity for some chow. This is the old Giovanna's, which was the old something or other and on and on. Had a lobster BLT that was really good.

A 62-year old gives birth. Fast forward ahead eight years to the father-son sack race. They ain't winning.

Adam Carolla cuts Ann Coulter no slack for calling late to his show.

World Cup Photo of the Day






















Forza Shakira!

Exercise Yard

The World Cup ended today with the Italians winning and the French surrendering. With the dreaded Penalty Kicks. Italy probably deserved it, as they proved to be the most consistent team in a very inconsistent tournament. But the highlight of the match was Zidane, the French star, headbutting a guy in the chest, getting red carded, and effectively ending his international career on the most sour of notes.

Zidane with the wrong kind of header



Don't know what words were exchanged before the headbutt, but I assume they were choice. To all those kids out there, don't headbutt an opponent. BTW, the World Cup Trophy is 36 cm high, made of solid 18-carat gold and weighs 4,970 grams. I believe it is the world's most expensive sports trophy.

Huge crowd at the Old Angle once more today. Vespas parked outside, most people rooting for Italy, and a bunch of guys who were loud but were chanting throughout. Chants ranging from "Ole Ole Ole Ole" to the Tomahawk Chop to "USA! USA!" when they showed Bill Clinton. They immediately followed that with the brilliant "Blowjob! Blowjob! Blowjob!" chant. Great atmosphere, proving once again, you must watch major soccer tournaments with a crowd.













Roma is on fire, as "Hand me that flare." is uttered extensively this evening. "I hate fuochi d'articifio." uttered extensively locally.

Visitor

None, it's the World Cup Final...as if you didn't know.

Prognosis: I think I'll live. Yes, it's a tough life battling nature. Today, I decided to resume a favorite chore of mine, which is trimming the large foilage I have growing in front of my palatial estate. For years, I was able to do an Edward Scissorhands with the only mishap being a cut extension cord. But today I had some visitors who had not announced their arrival. The dreaded yellow jacket family! And they certainly didn't take a shining to a noisy disruption of their abode. Therefore, they went into attack mode.

At first, I thought maybe some pine needles had brushed my hands, so I dropped the trimmer and looked down to see two bees on my arm. Not quite snakes on a plane, but I didn't take a shining to getting stung either. All in all, fairly minimal damge, only 5 stings. I had ice and had to call my brother who had some Benadryl, as I knew he would. He kindly got me some other stuff, in addition to some Raid. Can't recall the last time I was stung. I'm not allergic, so that was not a worry, but it's an odd feeling when you see yourself getting stung. Very strange.

Meal of Links

Mr. Mix turned me on to "Criss Angel: Mindfreak". I'm hoping he makes David Blaine disappear.

Man is killed by his own homemade cannon, More disturbing is state police quote: "A lot of people have homemade cannons, this isn't an unusual hobby." WTF?

Finally, an honest op-ed piece on secondhand smoke. Check out the old Penn & Teller rerun for further debunking.

Exercise Yard

No World Cup today, but the Browns season tickets arrived. This is the 60th anniversary of the Browns. The tickets are an homage to the different types of those printed in years past. I think it's significant that the only player visible on the tickets qas chosen for the Chiefs game. It's Larry Johnson, the new Jim Brown, based on how he tore up the league late last year. All in all, the Browns did a great job with the tickets.

Visitor

18 Across: Former Sandinista ruler (6 letters) Answer: Ortega

The Robotic Dwarf who works at the Burger King is getting on my nerves again. I didn't have a particularly great lunch today. I hop in the car and realize I forgot the damn crossword at home. Then I decide I'm goin' to BK.

Pull up to the drive-thru and order the following: Chili, Side Salad with Italian, Diet Coke. Zip around the corner and who's working? Of course, it's R.D. and I know she's gonna say it and I know it's gonna kill me when she says it and now I gotta wait until she says it. Here it comes, "Do you want any ketchup?" I actually have to restrain myself from leaping through that window to choke her while screaming, "Read my order, woman. What could I possibly need ketchup for?" It absolutely kills me. Every time.

If I ordered a chocolate shake, she would say it. If I ordered a Dutch apple pie, she would say it. I think if I ordered ketchup, she would say it. Christ, how stupid can you be? And I will not buy any "policy requires it" kind of an answer that demands they ask about ketchup.

Other than that, it was a beautiful day.

Meal of Links

Finally "Le Show" returns to Cleveland airwaves. Obviously, you can get the podcast, but I'm glad the show is available locally. Now, about that timeslot!

Carl Monday talks about lots of stuff. Including t-shirts.

Drew gave me a tip on this one. Driving while using a cellphone is just as risky as driving drunk.

World Cup Photo of the Day















France goes through to the Final, as Zidane takes another spin on the Wayback Machine.

Exercise Yard

Gale and I scalped some club seats to sit through another Indians debacle. The great Melky Cabrera killed us today, knocking in five, including a granny. Aaron Boone chipped in with three errors, two on grounders and a foul fly.

Of course, you have to eat like there's no tomorrow when you are in the club. Here is a line I hope to never repeat again: I had a hot dog, corned beef, turkey and a gyro. A gyro! I've only had a gyro once in the several years since one caused my last vomit. Fingers crossed presently.

Visitor

55 Across: Sportscaster Bob (6 letters) Answer: Uecker

"I hate the firework", but I've emerged from my spider hole to wish everyone a Happy Fourth of July.

Last night, while attempting to watch the Indians game at Instant Replay, I noticed they had the trivia games from Buzztime. Uh-oh, mental crack. See, I had been clean, effectively off the game for several years. Oh, I had a Jones every once in a while, but had been able to set it aside. Then last night, I did it. I asked for a playmaker. They dusted one off for me. I placed it in front of me, rubbing my fingers together, synapses firing. Neglecting my old handle, so as to not to tip my hand to the legions of folks out there wondering where I had disappeared to and those clamoring for my return, I selected the anonymous, "MRMOTA", a tip of the hat to our own Guillermo Mota and a sly reference to "Mr. Moto", to enter the proceedings.

I stumbled into a game with five of fifteen questions already gone, essentially spotting the field a maximum of 5000 points. Question number six was who starred in the original "Father of the Bride"? I had just finished entering my name and was able to get 598 points for Elizabeth Taylor. Then in a streak, as if I'd been playing not weekly, but daily for years, I proceed to rip off 8 answers in a row for full credit, essentially lapping the field. Oh, I was on fire. Didn't matter what type of question. Julia Roberts new play? Knew it. Title of Goo Goo Dolls new album? Knew it. Yogi Berra played what position? Are you kidding me? Then the next game, I got the first 5 correct. Then played miserably, but still won, with over 10,000 points, thanks to two bunnies at the end.

Then the big kahuna game of the night, Sports IQ. Jeezy creezy, was this hard. I went 10-for-10 in Round 1, which was cake. Omigod, the boxer, Calvin Brock, was even an answer in one of the rounds. But I was able to eke out a 17th place nationally, almost doubling the nearest guy locally. Then I came home and had the shakes for several hours.

Meal of Links

I ventured over to the Cedar-Lee yesterday to see "Wordplay". It was a look at the world of crossword puzzles. I think I'm pretty good at them, but I have never, ever, TIMED MYSELF doing one. Where is the enjoyment in doing a puzzle in 2 minutes, 1 second? But I liked the movie. I do the puzzle every day, except Sunday, which is bloated and overrated. It's got a crack-like hold over me.

Gale and I went to Johnny Mango this a.m. Hey, no brunch, WTF? But I was able have those quesadillas I love. And I tried one of those fizzy drinks they have. Sort of a melon, lime, sodie thing. Not bad. Caramel cookie dough ice cream, as well. Uh-oh. More crack.

Kobayashi almost meets his match. Think how long it takes you to eat 54 hot dogs. Months? Years? They do it in 12 minutes. It must be like crack.

World Cup Photo of the Day

















"Forza Azzurri!" I think I like her cra-

Exercise Yard

Speaking of sports crack, we went to the Old Angle to see Italy defeat Germany, 2-0, in Extra Time at the World Cup. They did not open up the kitchen, but served beer and had hot dogs. Probably as many as Kobayashi and that other guy had in 12 minutes. Easily, the Old Angle's biggest crowd of the tournament. Imagine. It was packed. On a holiday.

Anyhow, it was maybe not a great game, but certainly a great finish. Italy continues its mastery over Germany and avoided Penalty Kicks, where its record is not so good, by protecting its Extra Time record, which is very good. Germany weeps like Cleveland sports fans, as Buffon, the Italian keeper, has still not given up a goal by an opponent.

Visitor

27 Across: Two-time U.S. Open champ Andre (6 letters) Answer: Agassi

I had to put my Tim Allen hat on today as I went out and bought a cordless Grasshog. I finally got tired of dragging that damn extension cord around to perform trimming and opted for a battery-charged one. I am charging the battery pack as we speak, and hope to put this baby to work tomorrow. I am following the new American tradition of extending the holiday as much as I can, so I have the day off.

Meal of Links

I always say during World Cup time that it's better when England wins. It's more fun, the bars are more crowded, the chance for rioting is always near its peak, etc. But it's a lot more fun for the press when they lose. Becks steps down his captaincy and Coach Eriksson leaves, but tells everyone to back off on Rooney, because England needs him. Headlines: "England and Beckham, Unplugged, Inglorious, As Usual", "England Fall Well Short of Greatness" "Timid England Can Have No Excuses", "Eriksson's Waste of Golden Generation", "Eriksson's Epitaph: He Lacked Courage". ITV actually played Johnny Cash's version of "Hurt" for their match coverage. "I will let you down, I will make you hurt, I wear this crown of thorns upon my liar’s chair, full of broken thoughts, I cannot repair." Beautiful.

The government of New Jersey is shutting down. So, let's penalize the gamblers. No lottery ticket sales, race tracks close Tuesday night and the casinos close Wednesday morning.

Why pee on the parade of Warren Buffett? The dude just gave away $31 billion.

World Cup Photo of the Day
















Nice architecture.

Exercise Yard

A disappointing boxing program on Shobox last night. It's the secondary boxing program on Showtime as the regulars were off. The card was from some Indian casino in Michigan and featured sons of former boxers.

The son of Thomas Hearns won the first fight. He showed he has some talent.

The second fight featured the son of one of today's best trainers, Buddy McGirt, against the son of Aaron Pryor. Stephan Pryor had the best line of the fight. After Round 7 of a scheduled 8, someone in Stephan's corner said, "Your career is on the line in this next round." He just glared at the guy and said, "No, it ain't." Uh, actually, it was. McGirt won easily, but was not impressive. Stephan left the ring after he muttered something about taking on Mayweather. Ha. I think he's legitimately crazy and would not want to meet him in a dark alley.

Third fight featured not a son, but a cousin of Tim Witherspoon. It was a heavyweight bout that spawned virtually no action, and was won easily by Chazz Witherspoon.

The best boxing I saw this weekend was a Mike Tyson marathon on ESPN Classic. Lots of bouts during the era when it appeared Mikey would kill someone in the ring. Of course, it culiminated with the Buster Douglas fight. Still a shocker to this day.

Visitor

None, a not too exciting Sunday.

I had a busy day yesterday. I saw Italy-Ukraine in what was a really poor World Cup quarterfinal. Then it was over to see Mr. Mix and Maggie at Great Lakes Brewing. We got to sit oustide and if I hadn't had such a headstart on beer, I may have been able to have more. But everything was good, as usual.

Then we went to the Happy Dog where we were able to see the end of the Indians game, and hence, the season, as Wicky Wicky Bob gave up a grand slam in the ninth to finish us off. Pieces parts on the team are starting to be dumped and that will continue. It's already Wait Til Next Year and that's in doubt, as the division is the strongest it's been in years.

Meal of Links

David Hasselhoff injures himself shaving. Seeks Barry Manilow for "unlikely story" advice.

I don't mind that the Japanese PM is an Elvis fan, but did he have to let everyone know. "At the time of his death, if he were on Jupiter, Elvis would've weighed six-hundred and forty-eight pounds."

The Tour de France started today. No Lance. And no dopers. Allegedly.

World Cup Photo of the Day










"Having said that, Pierre, if we lose, I am blaming Bush."

Exercise Yard

Here's where the crying, or maybe rioting, starts at the World Cup. We went to the Old Angle to see England-Portugal this morning, and a big crowd filed in. Wayne Rooney gets sent off for England by stepping on a guy where you're not supposed to step. The game ends at 0-0 and goes to kicks. England goes out as Portugal wins 3-1 on PKs. England scored only one PK, and had many bad misses (Lampard, ugh!), as they have a terrible history of losing when kicks are involved.

Portugal takes on France, as the frogs upset Brazil, 1-0. Brazil-France always brings back memories of 1986 for me. The great Brazilian, Zico, missing a penalty, and the French keeper Joel Bats playing out of his mind to win it. Today's game was not as epic, but stamps France as a contender.

Things we learned today:

Luis Felipe Scolari, the Portugal coach, reminds me of Keenan Wynn.

The Old Angle serves its Bloodies with a shot of Guinness, which is mighty tasty, I'd say. Good grilled cheese, as well.

ABC showed an English fan, after the loss, who may not have moved from his spot at a Wimbledon pub yet.

You shouldn't have "Get a job" and "Get a life" as answers in the same non-themed crossword.

I need to have my sunglasses with me when I leave a bar during the day.

As a leftover from yesterday, be wary of those who are afraid of pickles.

Posh Spice and Ashley Cole's girlfriend got the loudest cheers when they appeared on screen during England's match.

Don't discount Portugal's chances of winning this thing.

Only four World Cup matches left, including an Independence Day match of Germany and Italy.

Mick Jagger was at the game. Think he called Amazing Tickets?

The Tribe sucks.

Visitor

32 Across: "Love Me or Leave Me" singer Ruth (7 letters) Answer: Etting