As I do every Sunday morning, I read the Plain Dealer religiously. But today's effort drove me nuts:

Wow, big news! Frank Russo hires people he knows to work in the Auditor's office. Groundbreaking. Unlike Pat O'Malley in the Recorder's office, he offered no excuses. I guess we can give him credit for that.

Dick Feagler mentioned Burma Shave in his column today. Burma Shave! Hey, I know what Burma Shave is, but I don't still use an abacus. I mean, how old does today's column skew? 80? 88? OK, I still moo when I see cows at the side of the road and I want the engineer to toot that train horn when I drive by, but seldom do I wax nostalgic about the days of 18-cent gasoline. Christ, I may be the youngest person reading the paper.

If that wasn't bad enough, someone (perhaps a Feagler acolyte) writes the editor and wants to re-enact the blue laws to save gas. Are you effin' kidding me? I'm old enough to remember when the addition of a couple of extra hours on Thursdays for grocery stores was actually debated to determine if it would be a good thing. The first time I ever heard of a grocery store being open on Sundays was when I went to college. Yeah, close everything on Sundays, so we can take those trips to Illinois in Feagler's DeSoto every weekend. The world has gone batty!

Allow me to put my Feagler throwback pants on for a moment. Upon further review of today's paper, did you notice that all of the puzzles (Jumble, Sudoku, Crossword) are going to a new (and I stress "convenient") pullout section known as Diversions? Seems reasonable at first glance, a pullout section. But did you notice the layout? Page One is that damn fold over another section that may overlap by 1/4 to 1/3 of the underlying section. That killed the Taste section on Wednesdays, BTW. I bet it's gonna suck to use any writing utensil because it's not going to be a big enough section, it's probably going to be one page, stretching the limits of the phrase "pullout section". It's like using one sheet from a notepad with no hard surface underneath. Try writing and erasing, if you use pencil, on that! I guess the good news is that Feagler's bridge club gets their man Goren back on this page and can read Judge Parker every day, so they can put away their astrolabes when looking for the Judge. Cardinal Rule: Don't fuck with the Crossword!

Meal of Links

People, you are not bidding on an iPhone. You are bidding on an iPhone Box and Manual. Sheesh! "Damn you, eBay!"

I saw "Get Smart" last night. Nothing special, but reasonably entertaining. I laughed really loud when Anne Hathaway (who looked nothing like Jane Hathaway) had described Maxwell Smart to a villain as a "deaf horse groomer". When the villain told him to do something, he had to answer "Okay" as a deaf person. I know I'm not supposed to laugh, really I do, but I laughed out loud and could not stop. It's stupid, I know, I'm sorry. The other highlight was not movie-related, but an usher, making the rounds, lost control of their flashlight and it sounded as if every part fell out of it and a few were kicked around. Quite the noise...and funny.

McCain does not know the price of gas and can't remember the last time he pumped his own. I'm guessing Feagler's Dad told young Johnny to go inside and get himself some hard candy while he pumped it. BTW, McCain says he doesn't see why that matters.

This weekend was the annual festival at Glastonbury. And, as always, the BBC website does a fantastic job. You can see some sets here, including 30 minutes of The Ting Tings! You can check out The Raconteurs set here. All 35 blistering minutes of it. And in Spinal Tap mode, you can turn it up to 11!

"Wonderwall"/Jay-Z (well, the crowd mainly, at Glastonbury)



Exercise Yard

There will be scalping.
















Today was the finals of Euro 2008. And what better place to watch than the Old Angle. I kinda like the chicken wings there and had some. As usual, a decent crowd showed up for the Spain-Germany match. But there was some housekeeping done yesterday by UEFA. The field is going to expand to 24 teams by 2016. It means England and Scotland probably get a chance to qualify every year. Probably throw Poland into that mix, as well. And that means more euros for all. I rather like keeping the qualifiers to 16. I think the dead weight is eliminated that way. But with revenues up, it's difficult to deny more cash potential.

Euro 2012 is scheduled to be co-hosted by Poland and the Ukraine, but there are the usual concerns over venues. So, Italy and Spain have been put on notice for potential hosting duty. Scotland and Ireland are also awaiting the September decision.

As for today's match, it was a fitting end. I don't think there is any doubt that Spain played consistently throughout the tournament, and really is a gifted squad technically. Germany never quits, but outside of about 15 minutes in the second half today, they never really got the motor revved up. They had some chances during that time, but for the rest of the match were outplayed.

It was a coronation for El Nino, Fernando Torres. One of the best younger players in the game, he scored the only goal of the match. I was surprised at how physical he was today, certainly not backing down an inch. And with David Villa out, he took advantage of the extra space and really was the man today.

The trophy goes to Spain, 1-0.

Visitor

None, it's a beautiful Euro 2008 Final day.

My neighbors are moving, it appears. The U-Haul pulled up this morning. Isn't there something in the Neighbor Code that they need to tell you when they are moving, or did that go out in 1972? (Aside to Paul: If you waited, we coulda been neighbors!) Hopefully, Guitar Hero doesn't move in. I get enough music with Neil Peart living on the other side of me.

Meal of Links

I don't eat a lot of candy. And I certainly had trouble with this quiz. You try to identify candy bars via a cross-section. I regret to report I was 10 for 20 (/hanging head in shame) and that was with a late rally.

The art of the Thank You Note. I sent my goddaughter a gift for high school graduation recently and got a very nice Thank You in return, with humor. I liked it a lot. It's not that hard, but you gotta commit.

God knows I love monkeys. Spain does the ape world a solid by giving them some human rights.

Unless Warren Sapp surprises me, his time on "Dancing With the Stars" will be short-lived. Guaranteed his act of "Mean Face" followed by laughing will grow old quickly. I got tired of that about 10 years ago. Sapp answers questions.

NPR wants to know the Best Music of 2008, thus far. Here is the poll. My five choices were:

Drive By Truckers
MGMT
The Black Keys
The Raconteurs
The Ting Tings

Right now, Death Cab for Cutie and Vampire Weekend, which I also like, are running away with it.

"How To Get Into Any Club"



Exercise Yard

UGA VI died. He was almost 10 and handled University of Georgia mascot duty for 9 of those years. He'll be buried with the other UGAs. I'm surprised the press release didn't say "UGA VI has been moved to a farm in Pennsylvania."

Visitor

Across Down: Language family that includes Tamil (9 letters) Answer: Dravidian The only reason this was a Saturday puzzle was because of the phrases. Otherwise, it was not that tough.)

Everything you need to know about the Cavaliers Number One Draft Pick, JJ Hickson. He led NC State in scoring, rebounding and turnovers as a Freshman. Biggest weakness is foul shooting.

Looks like a wait for him to develop.

Meal of Links

Jones Soda, who aways comes up with unique items, has done it again. This time, it's Campaign Cola. Three different types: "Yes, We Can", "Pure McCain", and "Capitol Hillary".

From someone who has directed some awesome videos of his own, Michel Gondry picks his 25 favorites. Lenny Kravitz with "Are You Gonna Go My Way? makes an appearance. Always thought that was a bit underrated videowise. It is amazing how many times Aphex Twin shows up on these things. Lots of Spike Jonze (I especially like "Drop") on here, too.

A comparison of food prices. Covers the difference of the month of May between 2007 and 2008. Eggs, milk and cheese up significantly. No shit, lemons have gone up a ton. That used to be a bargain.

Exercise Yard

I had to see at least one of the Euro 2008 semifinals, so with a bit of flex time I got to watch today's Spain-Russia match as it happened. Spain beat Russia, 4-1, earlier in Euro 2008. Strangely, the "New Russia" team seemed to be getting the favorable pub coming in, having turned it around since that match. BTW, no one sings the Spanish National Anthem...there are no words.

However, Spain was the best technical team left in the tournament, but there was a scoreless first half. But they knocked in three in the second half and beat Russia, 3-0. Xavi had the first goal. It's not pronounced "Ex-av-ee", it's "Shav-ee".

That sets up a Germany-Spain final, which should be entertaining. There's enough shaky goaltending by Jens Lehmann and enough shaky defense by Spain, which could result in some goals on Sunday.

Visitor

16 Across: Grammy winner Bryson (5 letters) Answer: Peabo

Last night, I was at the Omar Vizquel Lovefest. They had almost 30,000 in attendance, so fans like Gale could go see their hero.

It was an awful game, to be honest. Of course, I go on a two-minute rant about pinch-hitting Casey Blake for Andy Marte without a pitching change. So, what does he do? Almost homers, that's what. As I said, that Eric Wedge is quite the manager!

Getting back to Omar. Uh, he's done. He's battling some injuries right now and age. He has absolutely no bat speed presently. He hit two weak grounders and a lazy fly ball, while stranding five runners in his first three at-bats. He also put down an excellent suicide squeeze in the ninth that Blake dropped, but still almost managed to throw him out.

I was concerned about Vizquel's defense. He was late on a grounder through the hole early and didn't dive for it. Apparently, that's been an issue with these injuries. However, he made a nice play late, backhanding a ball in the hole and leaping to throw a guy out at second.

Not sure he's got much left. He's hitting .167 and defense alone can't keep him in the lineup.

Meal of Links

SNL will rerun the first episode with George Carlin. It airs this Saturday and Andy Kaufman is on it.

19 stellar cinematic one-hit wonders (with some video). This is a great list. Alec Baldwin in "Glengarry Glen Ross", "Fuck you!...That's my name!". David Lynch is represented twice with Dean Stockwell in "Blue Velvet" and "Billy Ray Cyrus in "Mulholland Drive". Chris Rock in "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka" kills me each time I see it. Bowie in "Zoolander" also makes the list. A personal fave of mine, Wilford Brimley in "Absence of Malice" did not make the list. He starts handing out "subpeenies". Thought I could find a clip of that, but cannot.

Figuring the Exxon Valdez case had been adjudicated years ago, this came as a surprise. The Supreme Court knocked down Exxon's punitive damages to $500 million. The original award of $5 billion had already been halved by an appeals court to $2.5 billion.

Exercise Yard

The semifinals of Euro 2008 started today. The Germans beat the Turks, so there is no party in Istanbul (not Constantinople). Did you know that the Turks are the largest ethnic group in Germany, that'll win you a bet someday. So, Germany plays in the final on Sunday. BTW, it's a soccer thing, but I am digging how the crowd has been singing along to "Seven Nation Army" throughout this tournament when the combatants enter the pitch. It will be the official song in World Cup 2014 in Brazil. Why the South Africans haven't picked up on this for 2010 is beyond me.



Today's match was pretty good and ended up with a score of 3-2. Looked like the Germans had it wrapped up late with their second goal, but the Turks were awfully resilient in this tournament. They tied it up late 2-2. Philipp Lahm (Lahm, Bam, Thank You, Ma'am) had the game winner in the last minute on a great run. That was his first goal for Germany since he scored the first one in World Cup 2006.

However, the highlight of the match for me was the difference in how the physios treated one of their players. After a clash of heads, there will be blood! The German had a cut over his eye, while the Turk had a cut on the top of his head. The German physio takes a look and immediately gets the stitching equipment out to patch the guy up. The Turkish physio gets a wipe for the guy's head then opts for the staple gun treatment. Yes, he stapled the guy's head together right there on my widescreen HDTV. We always joke about the magic spray and now the staple gun enters the picture.

Visitor

49 Across: "Roots" Emmy winner (7 letters) Answer: Ed Asner

George Carlin died today. What can you say but, "Que pasa, que what you call your pasa? Hahahahahaha!" One of the all-time greats. A comic who was relevant for over 40 years. Someone who changed his look from the ubiquitous suit and tie to long hair, jeans, and an earring when comics didn't do that. The author of the revolutionary "Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television". I'm not sure he personally took up the obscenity fight with that recording, but contrary to popular belief, that Supreme Court ruling was 5-4 against, although a victory in the sense that it could be played overnight on the radio. The first guest host on "Saturday Night Live". One of the first to find freedom of expression on cable television. One of the most notorious anti-religion comics out there. And has a lot of "his stuff" on the Internet. Don't forget he was also in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" and played a Cardinal in "Dogma".

I think his greatness is affirmed because you can still remember his old shit like Al Sleet, the hippie-dippie weatherman, with his "Tonight's forecast...dark!" I know his Biff Burns routine, "Time for the Biff Burns Sportlight Spotlight. Spotlighting sports that are in the Sportlight Spotlight." That had the lines of "Here's a partial score...Ohio State, 10." and "CalTech 12.3, MIT 9.7".

In recent years, his book sales were quite good, as he was really good, I thought, at exploring language, like "jumbo shrimp" and "military intelligence". His second last special on HBO kinda freaked me out because he was angry. I mean, not even funny angry, practically mean. I happened to hear an excerpt from that special on an XM channel today and it was basically, "They don't give a fuck about you. Their big club? You and me...we ain't in it." That's tough to take for 90 minutes, because inherent in that argument is, well, you're stupid for not questioning things, etc. But I think he calmed down a bit since then and it's a shame he won't pick up his Kennedy Center award in person later this year.

I always liked his quote, "When you're born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front-row seat." That's the truth.

Here's a lengthy, but I think brilliantly constructed routine. Sort of an uncomfortable topic, while not insulting to the audience, Carlin frames a cogent argument with a unique ability to inject humor in all the right places.

"Religion Is Bullshit"/George Carlin



Meal of Links

Speaking of words and playing with them. Here's Wordle. Hopefully, you get something. I think I killed it.

The inevitable march toward the "Avengers" movie. Ant-Man? Did anyone like him?

You can watch television without paying for it. I'm digging Hulu right now.

This sort of explains how odd Wikipedia can be. It is uncanny when you hear of someone's death, this time Tim Russert, and it is up on Wiki before many news outlets have reported it. We noticed this during, of all things, Jim Rome's Smackoff this year. The results were on Wiki seemingly instantaneously. Heath Ledger's death, same thing. It seems as if there is a person assigned to each entry and that is their charge to instantly update anything. It can be creepy how fast some things are updated on there.

Exercise Yard

Spaceman Lee still has it. And he's 62! He just tossed six innings in the Midnight Sun game in Alaska.

Visitor

43 Down: "Judge Dredd" actor Armand (7 letters) Answer: Assante

Can you tell I was in the South this weekend?

















I visited Mr. and Mrs. Mix in Nashville this past weekend and their dogs visited me while I was sleeping on Friday night. Well, it was toward morning and I was awake, but they hopped up anyhow. When they say it's a dog's life, they are not kidding. The main reason for the visit was to attend the...

RC Cola and Moon Pie Festival in Bell Buckle, TN

















It seems each person who has been in attendance before this year has called this festival "interesting". Bell Buckle itself is a small burg, known mainly for its antiques. On Saturday, that was the main focus. Thoughts about attending the Taste of Music City were dashed because we spent too much time in Bell Buckle and the weather by that time of the day was not cooperating as it rained a bit.

On Friday night, Mrs. Mix had an array of meats and cheeses awaiting for me to chow down on after my arrival. That goes swell with bourbon, I say. She had to run off to work, it seems the Moon Pie Flu was not enough to prevent her from working, although there weren't enough ill people to keep her there from doing a full shift, as we found out later. I was in charge of the dogs for about 20-30 minutes. My hands weren't very full, because they were in their normal watchdog pose. Which meant they were lying down, nearing nap mode.

After Mr. Mix (BTW, with new tattoos, a feisty looking Brutus Buckeye and a Pisces sign on each gun) came home, we finished watching the end of that Euro 2008 quarterfinal on the replay. Seems Turkey and Croatia were deemed an Instant Classic, although as it was nearing the end of Extra Time, I was wondering why. Two goals, one each, in the last 2 minutes was why. They went to kicks, where the Croats offered the lamest PKs you'll see in a long time. That meant it was the Turks against the Germans coming up on Wednesday in the Semis.

We then decided to wake up the echoes and catch a movie over by Opryland. Hey, the Gatlins were at the Opry that night, BTW. Anyhow, it was "Hulk" on the menu. The movie was pretty good, although it seemed there was a serious plot flaw, because a professor who was cooperating with Edward Norton (Bruce Banner) was found out and you would have thought the government would have been on his ass in an Instant Classic kind of way. Hey, and Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr., you know, Iron Man) shows up at the end as they keep setting up "The Avengers" movie.

But the coolest thing is at this Regal, there is a pick up line for concessions. See, this girl has a candy cart, and you think she's only selling candy, but wait, there's more. As long as you are paying in cash, the entire concession stand is within her purview. She calls in your order over the walkie-talkie and voila, you don't have to stand in line with the great unwashed. It's so cool when you hear that "2 Large Icees" order spoken into someone's collar.

Post-movie can only lead to one place...Sonic! 99-cent Hot Fudge Milk Shake, baby! Then it was back home to watch and listen to Vin Scully call Friday night's Indians-Dodgers game. How did the Tribe pull that one out of their collective ass? And that ended really late in the Central Time Zone, who stayed up that late here? I think I finally got that time zone thing down on this visit.

Then, on Saturday it was off to Bell Buckle. But first, it was lunch at Pawbowsky's in Murfreesboro. It's a mystery, but why does Nashville do better at Chicago-style dogs and sausages then Cleveland does. Beef sandwich, too, was a killer. I had me a sausage before we hit the festival, because you really can't do Moon Pies for lunch. And this is not a festival where there is a lot of other stuff. It's mainly RC Colas and Moon Pies, hence the name.

The festival itself was "interesting". Admission is free. You could park in a gas station on the corner for five dollars. They had lots of vendors selling jewelry and other boothy type items. I assume these vendors are there every week, although they may have been set up just for the Festival. When we entered the grounds of the Festival, we were taken aback, because it appeared it was in someone's backyard. I'm not kidding, it was in a triangular shaped field, with houses to the left and houses to the right. There we were, stuck in the middle with RC Colas and Moon Pies.

But as I was hoping, there it was, like from a dream. Four huge ice buckets filled with RC Colas. Not, just any RC Colas, but RC Cola in freezing-cold 12-ounce bottles! For a dollar and a quarter. I felt like Ray Kinsella's Dad from "Field of Dreams".

"Is this heaven?" "No. it's Bell Buckle, Tennessee."

















We opted for the Deep-Fried Moon Pies. Choice of chocolate and banana. They were both very good.

Ancient Tennessean Deep-Frying Secret

















Deep-Fried Chocolate Moon Pie

















That's pretty much what the festival is about. Oh, there are other activities. A 10K in the a.m. They have a play. They have Synchronized Wading. They crown a King and a Queen. They have clogging. And more clogging. Not only of your arteries, but of the dance variety, as well. They have a band. The Uncle Tom Band. Could you get away with that name locally, BTW? They also have a bunch of Olympic-type events. We stayed for the Moon Pie Toss and the RC Cola cans balancing on your head race. The field had to eventually try three cans. I think the winner may have been credited with two steps. I think she ran and got credit for them not falling as quick as the others.

But, as things usually go in the South, things were not exactly running on schedule. And it didn't appear that anyone really cared, so we moved off from sitting on hay bales, and decided to leave before the watermelon seed spitting and hog calling contests. And we missed out on the unveiling and cutting and eating of the world's largest moon pie.

The day kind of tuckered us out and we opted for a pizza place, Mellow Mushroom, down by Vanderbilt for more pies. I actually had a beer. First one in almost two months. Hey, it still tastes the same. And it goes good with a meaty pizza.

Today, it was a stop at Vanderbilt Hospital to unclog my arteries and then off to the airport. Where my flight was delayed for over 2 hours. Because our plane couldn't take off from Tampa. Hey, what to do? Bloody Marys at the Gibson Cafe, that's what, and make mine a double! We then had a window to beat the rain to the south and east and miss the hail that blew through this region. And I got back about 5:20.

I already pining for next year's Festival.

Meal of Links

I guess everyone has tired of Mike Myers. It's safe to say, with the constant publicity this movie has received, "Love Guru" bombed.
TEXT

How to save a skyscraper. Against earthquakes.

Hey, I thought only the NBA had fixed games. The betting scandal in tennis seems to be getting some legs.

Exercise Yard

They won't be at the semis.
















Neither will she.































In Euro 2008, you knew the Dutch were gonna flop yesterday, didn't you? Today, it was not Spain, but the Italians who lost on Penalty Kicks. Geez, that was boring. That sets up the semis as Germany-Turkey on Wednesday and Russia-Spain on Thursday.

It's gotta be a Germany-Russia final, n'est ce pas?

Visitor

None, I was airborne. Then Rainborne.

Before I'm off to Nashville this weekend...

Last night, S. and I saw The Cure. I had never seen The Cure and thought it might be a good opportunity to catch them live. When I arrived at Bricco, a clam pizza was already ordered for me. Hey, I have “the gout”. So, I really didn’t eat much of it. Two of her friends joined us and then it was off to the show.

The Venue: The Bart. I typically see a show at CSU’s Wolstein Center once or twice a year. This time, it was not General Admission on the floor, but Reserved seating. They saw the arena in half for these shows and it does make it a bit more intimate for an arena type of show.

The Tickets: Our tickets were slated to be in Row A (six rows up), a few sections down, left side of the stage. However, the previously mentioned friends had floor seats and asked us to join them. Not sure how that was going to happen, given that they had only two tickets. But I gladly entered the world of scofflaws and passed through some lax security to get on the floor. Their seats were in the 8th row and there were three empty seats in Row 7 on the end that we grabbed. Oh, my Spider Sense was up and I was ready to throw down a couple of times to keep the seats, but they were false alarms. So, the Seat Improvement Plan worked.

The Crowd: Pretty small crowd. Only about 4,000 people showed up and there were only a handful of people in the uppers. Not sure if those were sold or if they moved up there. I can’t figure out if it’s that no one likes The Cure anymore, the economy, or the threat of people offing themselves listening to their music that prevented people from attending.

Thankfully, no one offed themselves. Stood the entire time with not much rowdiness happening. Fairly tame crowd.

Opening Act: The opening act was 65daysofstatic. Did not arrive in time to see them and failed to ask anyone about their performance.

The Sound: Surprisingly good. Robert Smith’s voice was really good, I’d even suggest shockingly so. But I thought musically, it sounded superb. I sense a major difference in seeing shows at The Bart, as opposed to Quicken Loans Arena.

And there was really very little stage banter throughout. Robert Smith offered some thanks on occasion, and introduced a few songs. Other than that, not much. I think I may have even seen him smile once or twice. Could have been a grimace or he may have been constipated for all I know.

The Stage: The setup included a large screen in the back for some video effects. Mostly graphics in nature. Although I saw some pictures during one song and a bullet train zipping along on "Jumping Someone Else's Train". There were strobes for all of the Japanese cartoon watchers in attendance. Those were slightly annoying, but nothing major. Other lighting was fairly normal.

The extremely weird-looking Porl Thompson was on the left side of the stage on guitar. I am grateful I didn’t wear my original outfit, because Thompson stole it. Mesh shirt, vinyl pants, bat makeup over his eyes, etc. Whew! Smith was in the middle with a black buttondown long sleeve shirt and camo pants. Simon Gallup, looking like Joe Strummer, was on bass on the right. Drummer Jason Cooper on a tower in the back. No keyboards.

Fun facts to know and tell: I read that Robert Smith wears MAC lipstick shade Ruby Woo. I have no idea what that means.

Also, The Cure’s new album drops in September. But they have been releasing a single every few weeks or so in the ramp up to the release date.

The Music: Kind of a weird vibe with this show. As I said, vocally, Smith sounded great. Musically, it was a top-notch effort. But quite frankly, the show clocked in at three hours and by the end, I was kind of wishing it was over.

Setlist:

"Open"
"Fascination Street"
"A Night Like This"
"The End of the World"
"Lovesong"
"Want"
"Pictures of You"
"Lullaby"
"The Perfect Boy"
"From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea"
"Kyoto Song"
"Hot Hot Hot"
"The Only One"
"Charlotte Sometimes"
"Torture"
"Sleep When I'm Dead"
"Push"
"Inbetween Days"
"Just Like Heaven"
"Primary"
"Us or Them"
"Never Enough"
"Wrong Number"
"One Hundred Years"
"End"

Encore:

"At Night"
"M"
"Play For Today"
"A Forest"

Second Encore:

"Three Imaginary Boys"
"Fire In Cairo"
"Boys Don't Cry"
"Jumping Someone Else's Train"
"Grinding Halt"
"10:15 Saturday Night"
"Killing an Arab"

There you have it. When you decide to play 36 songs, there is a sense of rummaging through the songbook and picking some real obscurities along with the more well-known tunes. And then there is mixing in the new stuff. There is bound to be bathroom break songs and some other filler. I can’t recall the last concert I saw where the band played 36 tunes.

But there was no "Why Can't I Be You?", "Let's Go To Bed", "The Lovecats" or "Friday I'm In Love". Maybe those are too uptempo. Overall, I’m glad I went. But they could have easily trimmed 10 songs and 45 minutes from the show.

Meal of Links

14 songs you should not play in a bar. ABBA, but not Three Dog Night, make the list.

Many thoughts on tequila. Shots no, but I do like the occasional margarita.

The best of new music in 2008. Hey, Los Campesinos! made it. I really like it, even with extended intro.

Simply put. How to nap. "Take Sominex tonight and sleep..."

Exercise Yard

So sad that Portugal lost today at Euro 2008.






























You can never underestimate the Germans. They beat Big Phil, who's on his way to coach Chelsea, and Portugal today, 3-2.

The Germans are always tough, and this is the best they played, so far. They might be re-installed as the favorites.

Visitor

17 Across: Droll ESPN personality (10 letters) Answer: Kenny Mayne

I was at Marc's and wanted to use the dreaded Express Lane. You know, pay cash on 12 items or less. I think you can go the socially acceptable 2-3 items over, but that's about the only slack I cut anyone in the line.

I don't know, maybe people can't read, never look up at signs, or just love to plead ignorance. But how do you get in line with a full cart and then have the cashier let you get away with it? I ended up fourth in line behind these scofflaws and said loudly, "Hey, is this some sort of new Express Lane?" Deaf woman in front of me turns around and says, "It's supposed to be." It was as if the scofflaws intentionally put this audibly-challenged person in front of me as a distraction.

Before I could turn my wrath on her, I hopped to a different line. Just in time to see scofflaws needing a price check. Hah! Take that! I zipped out of there as the line had not budged an inch, as I left.

Meal of Links

Lara Flynn Boyle talks about "Twin Peaks". Full episodes can be seen here. That show never gets old for me. Especially if you view the ones that David Lynch directs. I took a look at a few minutes of an early episode with the "Baguette Scene", and it still delivers.

Ten drunk photos you don't want to be in. "Candid, you know, candid photography."

Amsterdam goes smoke-free on July 1. That's only for tobacco though. Cannabis? Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

Exercise Yard

Typically, you have to do something pretty unique to have a rule named after you. Justin Miller of the Florida Marlins has one named after him. The Justin Miller Rule is for pitchers with tattoos. And he has a whole lot of ink on.

At Euro 2008, Italy gets through by beating the French, who played most of the match a man down. So, we bid bonsoir to France, who had terrible results in this tournament. That also means we get to hear the Italians sing "Fratelli d'Italia" some more. Everyone gets into that, it seems.

Some "Group of Death" (France, Romania, Italy) Anthems



But the Dutch won again and should we start calling them Clockwork Orange and have visions of "total football" running through the pitches of our minds?

This guy thinks so.




























Visitor

60 Down: Rebellious Turner (3 letters) Answer: Nat

Croatia (I guess they were already in) and Germany advanced today at Euro 2008. We find out tomorrow which team joins the Dutch out of Group C. Romania, Italy and France all have chances.





























Meal of Links

Could that gasbag Berman end up on future Olympiads? TV contract is up for grabs, starting in 2014.

Word is out that there is going to be a Shawshank Reunion. "Brooks was here."

Kanye West was underwhelming at Bonnaroo. If you start your set at 4:30 a.m., by God, you've gotta do better.

Gore Vidal is still cranky.

I did not see "The Happening", but know someone who did. He said it sucked. Bad.

Exercise Yard

25,000 people did not attend gay marriages in California today. They went to see a golf match. Make that 25,000 people who have the kind of cash to buy the full-week ticket for the event. No freebies today.

Tiger Woods wins his 14th major. In extra, extra time. Not sure about the 18-hole playoff. I understand the tradition argument. But let's say Lee Westwood played Rocco Mediate (sporting Tiger Championship Red today) for the title today, who watches? As long as Tiger is involved, he moves the needle. And he's the only one in golf today with that reach. Still, it was a most enjoyable five days of golf. Now, onto the British Open next month.

Visitor

61 Across: Mambo king Puente (4 letters) Answer: Tito

Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there!

I started the day with my Dad for some breakfast at IHOP. It was a bit crowded, but I had been waiting to try those Corn Cakes over there. They were very good.

Meal of Links

All about Keith Olbermann and "Countdown". I like Keith, watch him almost every night, but a minor criticism is I'd like to see more dissenting opinion on there. At times, there is a lot of parroting going on. Other than that, it's red meat if you're a D.

Tiger Woods played the most entertaining round of golf I've seen in a long time on Saturday. Today, he birdies the final hole to get in an 18-hole playoff on Monday. The guy is hobbling around on one leg and is still better than 99% of his fellow golfers.



The best match from Euro 2008, so far, took place today. Turkey vs. the Czech Republic. Turkey was down 2-0, then scored two goals late to win 3-2. Mindblowing comeback.

Exercise Yard

If you have some time, check out Michael Lewis and his article on Cuban baseball from the latest Vanity Fair. Lengthy, but a great read.

Visitor

None, it's Father's Day.

I was very surprised to hear that Tim Russert died. I always liked the guy, and hearing many of his fellow professionals speak about him, it would be hard to find anyone who disliked him. "Meet The Press" has been a Sunday staple of mine for years, even though Channel 3 shows it at 10:30 locally. That program is always a bridge from early morning activity like reading the paper, running errands, etc. to whatever sports I have lined up for Sunday, especially during soccer and football seasons.

I like "Meet The Press" because Russert will get on these folks about certain ideas they may have, but he always allowed his guests to get their point across. I think it's a pretty good tradeoff, I'll take some abuse but my message gets out, and Russert did that the best. Certainly, his program could be considered the first primary in any election year, because they all show up, even folks like Ron Paul.

And I appreciated how he would have Senatorial candidates from each state when they were battling for an election. After you viewed some of those programs, you were grateful you lived in the state you did.

But there's no question, he was the top political journalist in this country. And he'll be missed terribly.

David Remnick with some kind words.

Boy, NBC is getting hit hard by the Grim Reaper these days as one of my favorite sportscasters, Charlie Jones, has died. He had a really good voice for sports and I always thought he did a great job on down and distance and the clock, when those things were not on your screen the whole game. And he did an Olympics stint as the track and field guy in 1988, you know, Ben Johnson and Carl Lewis, for one. I seem to recall he blew the name of the winner of a distance race, and they moved him off of that beat, but I always liked him.

Meal of Links

Not as shocking, but startling nonetheless, is that I heard that Cheeta is still alive! Yes, that Cheeta, from the Tarzan movies. He has the official title of the world's oldest living non-human primate. And they are trying to get him a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Ungawa!

How to live with only 100 things. It is an interesting take on purging. I have that same problem with jeans. What is the number that is too many. I probably have over 10 pair. White, Khaki, Blue and Black represented. Is that too many?

Movies with twists. I say, this is a pretty good list.

All weekend on the AT&T Blue Room, it's Bonnaroo.

Angry Guy picked us some sushi from Ginza last night. Well, he didn't order anything we wanted and waited til he got there, but that's another story. Really good spicy salmon and tuna. Or it may have been spicy tuna and salmon. Either way, whatever was on my plate was inhaled.

I failed to mention that Geddy Lee recently donated a huge signed baseball collection to the Negro League Baseball Museum in Kansas City. Yep, it's that Geddy Lee.

Why do I read stuff like this? Ugh.

Exercise Yard

Saw David Villa (him again) pull one out late against Sweden in Euro 2008 today.



But how about yesterday? The Dutch, the Dutch? again, with a 4-goal outburst against France. Their defense cannot hold up, can it? I mean the French had 23 shots, not exactly clamped down. The Netherlands moves on to join Portugal and Croatia in the quarters.

Also, Italy drew with Romania.

Visitor

1 Down: King who was Time's 1974 Person of the Year (6 letters) Answer: Faisal

While wondering if Yamid Haad is Paul Byrd's new personal catcher...

Big, but not necessarily old news, is the NBA refereeing scandal. Excellent analysis from Lester Munson on why this is resurfacing now. As always, follow the money. Ex-ref Tim Donaghy was seemingly cooperating with the feds and awaiting sentencing, until the NBA decided to pursue $1 million in damages. That seems to to have struck a negative chord with the ex-ref's legal team.

Donaghy's allegations are extremely serious. The NBA has always suffered more than the other leagues concerning potential fixing of games. Mainly because of the actions of the refs. For cryin' out loud, Wilt Chamberlain never fouled out of a game and that star system has always irked me. But I'm in the camp of those who believes you can't blame the refs, no matter how bad they are. I refuse to believe they are on the take, and you just have to find it within yourself to play through and overcome any perceived bad officiating.

However, what Donaghy says, at least on the surface, does make sense. If you are going to cry fix in the NBA, of course, you bring up Game 6 of the Lakers-Kings series of 2002. Game 6 officials were Dick Bavetta, Ted Bernhardt and Bob Delaney. Anyone who watched that game has that permanently etched in their brains. Most people who watch the NBA, myself included, would hold that up as Exhibit A if asked what game do you think may have been fixed? I'm not saying the fix was in, but the officiating in that game was highly suspect, and a Game 7 was the ultimate NBA's and fans reward. As a matter of fact, it was the only Game 7 of that playoff year.

Getting back to the refs, Bob Delaney seems beyond reproach because of his law enforcement background. But Bavetta has seemingly been the NBA's version of "The Cooler" for years. If that means he's a "company man", so be it. Bavetta always seems to be the ref who shows up when a series needs to put back on track. Don't know if that means he brings a dose of reality to these series or he favors the team that the NBA desires to advance. And, let's face it, we have always joked about Commissioner David Stern making the halftime call to alter the potential outcome of NBA games. So much so, we have him making the calls in other sports when a team, especially a favorite, needs some divine intervention to change its luck in a game.

I find it interesting that the other ref in Game 6 was Ted Bernhardt. Another of Donaghy's allegations is that a ref was privately reprimanded for tossing out a star player early in a game in January of 2000. Fairly simple searching finds that that game had to be Knicks-Sonics at the Garden. Unbelievably, both teams sported fine records that day and I'm sure it was probably the best matchup of the day. But Gary Payton was ejected in the first quarter of that game by none other than Ted Bernhardt. Following that reprimand, could Bernhardt's actions be seen as that of a "company man"?

My goodness, everyone loves a scandal, so let's see where the NBA goes with this. It's probably a good thing the Celtics took Game 4 tonight with a huge Lakers collapse, because it'll look awfully fishy if it goes to a Game 7, as we sit here tonight.

Meal of Links

Speaking of fishy, venerable State Fish has closed. Another local institution gone.

The Webby Awards Speeches from earlier this week. Keep in mind, they need to be 5 words or less. My favorites: NY Times' Frugal Traveler: "Please don't climb our building."; Kongregate (Games): "Proud to undermine your productivity."; Huffington Post: "President Obama...Sounds good, right?"; ABA Journal: "Had we lost, we'd sue!"; FactCheck.org" "No, Obama is not Muslim."; Onion News Network: "Thank you for the Pulitzer."; ZAGAT.mobi: "Actually, it's pronounced Za-GAT."

Hey, there is a new Joy Division documentary coming out. Maybe lunchboxes are next?

What used to be sabotaging is now how things are actually managed. Nice turnaround there.

The 25 Worst Sitcoms. Boy, they included some long-running shows in here. Those probably should land on a mediocre list. They need more truly wretched ones.

Check out these people leaving their cars through the disappearing car door. That's pretty cool, but is it necessary?

Exercise Yard

Batting Stance Guy takes on the Indians. Dead on with Albert Belle. His Kenny Lofton makes me laugh. A lot. Watch his Kevin Youkilis on the Red Sox video. Guaranteed laughs.



Quick Euro 2008 stuff. The Germans, the Germans!, got beat today by Croatia, who already moves on. Geez, Italy and Germany with losses already. Austrian and Poland tie. "Group of Death" resumes tomorrow. BTW, David Hirshey is doing previews on ESPN.com. I wish he was doing recaps, but I'll settle for that.

A Czech Czick from yesterday.




























Visitor

32 Across: Canadian pop idol Lavigne (5 letters) Answer: Avril

Uh-oh. This dude says the price of a barrel could hit $250 next year.

Dude!



I'm beginning to come around to the theory that it's the speculators who are driving up the price. Seriously, what would you invest in. Internet? Housing? Nope, I think people are dabbling in Texas Tea.

Check out these all of these people driving when gas was much cheaper. I see "Duel", "The Getaway", "Psycho", "Easy Rider", "Touch of Evil", "Fargo" "Paper Moon" and "Buffalo 66" amongst others.

"Drivin' on 9"/The Breeders



Meal of Links

It's the "Summer of Slurpee". Hulk promo gets you a free one, if you buy one.

Monkeys that fish. Well, they were seen fishing only four times in eight years when I bet they were really hungry and had no 7-11 nearby.

"I'm Voting Republican"



Exercise Yard

In Euro 2008, the defending champs, Greece, lose to Sweden, 2-0.

But Spain, always an enigma, gets 4 goals today against Russia. David Villa with the hat trick. Good counter-attacking stuff from him and "El Nino", Fernando Torres. BTW, it's not Dave Vil-la, it's Dah-veed Vee-ya. See, they talk funny over there. Spain looked good today, but always has the tendency to muck things up later.



And it better get warm over there soon. The females are wearing too many clothes. so far.

Visitor

43 Across: Author Follett (3 letters) Answer: Ken

Yesterday, Best Friend and I headed up to the Motor City to see The Raconteurs. Another band that has elected to bypass our fair town on this leg of the tour. This is Jack White's first appearance in his hometown in a few years, so it was a good chance to see the band in a distant city, not too far away.

The Venue: The Fillmore. This was known as The State Theatre until Live Nation took over about a year ago. Pretty cool place, close to The Fox Theatre in the shadow of Comerica Park, where the Indians got beat again yesterday. Very mindful of the Playhouse Square venues. The big stairwells, ornate chandeliers, huge wall of concert posters, etc. But they had General Admission on the floor and the seated balcony, with a Mezzanine deck tossed in for good measure.

The Tickets: Our tickets said "Mezzanine Table", and we really had no clue what that meant, but it turned out to be a great selection. These are tables of 4 (OK, that did involve sitting with "strangers") situated directly behind the few rows of the Mezzanine. They offer a great view, you have comfy chairs and they afford the ability to stand and groove around and not block anyone. Very cool.

The Crowd: If it wasn't a sellout, it was pretty close, as this was the second of two consecutive shows in Detroit. We lucked into great parking in a lot within 500 feet of The Fillmore and the crowd was already lining up for the GA sections by 5:00, when we arrived. But this ran the gamut of young and old.

I thought the GA crowd was well-behaved. They might have been comatose during the opening act, who deserved better. But not rowdy at all during The Raconteurs set.

Opening Act: The opening act was the Black Lips. I thought they were pretty good, given the thankless position they were put in. Interesting sort of punk band from Atlanta. They did a terrific cover version of Bo Diddley's "Mona", a nice tribute. Nice energy and lots of punk styles in their presentation. Although the guitarist did spit a loogie skyward and caught it in his mouth. Seems like an odd talent to display to the masses, but...

The Sound: The sound overall was good, but there were times within our Mezzanine sandwich where some lyrics got muddied a bit. But it's Jack White on guitar, so who gives a flip?

And there was not much stage banter throughout. Although Jack had some really kind words for Detroit and I thought it was a very appreciative gesture on his part, as he had recently referred to Motown as an "iron-maiden sort of torture device". Probably in an endearing manner, I'm guessing.

The Stage: The setup was not too elaborate. Keyboards left, then Brendan Benson sporting Daltrey hair, Jack White (with a mirror on his amp as he played with his back to the audience at times), and Lawrence on bass on the right. Keeler on drums in the back. Not much extravagance as far as lighting and at the conclusion of the set, The Raconteurs' logo was displayed on the backdrop.

Fun facts to know and tell: You can still smoke in a bar in Detroit. That makes some people I know very happy. And, once again, I-75 is being reconstructed Downtown with closures as you near. Whoever holds the franchise on that road doesn't even remove the barrels anymore. It seems they keep them in the median, because they know they'll need them soon. We had to take some wacky detour after the show that takes you on 94, heading west. I took Telegraph Road back to 75, because I think I saw Chicago looming ahead.

Also, when Jack White came out for the encore, who suddenly appears? Omigod, it's Meg White and she proceeds to sit down behind the drum kit! Are we gonna witness a White Stripes reunion, even for one song? Nope, the other band members come out, Meg excuses herself and waves to the crowd as she exits stage left. Now that would have been something.

The Music: I've seen rock shows in my time, but make no mistake, this was a fucking rock show. They had some unbelievably blistering versions of their catalog, mainly from the second album, last night. Even "Steady As She Goes" turned into a chant-along and it sounded more fresh than the first time I heard it. Terrific musicianship throughout, especially on "Rich Kid's Blues". Really an awesome show.

Setlist:

I'd say maybe 17 songs, but I'm guessing here and missing several, in no particular order.

"Consoler of the Lonely"
"You Don't Understand Me"
"Rich Kid's Blues"
"Steady As She Goes"
"Blue Veins"
"The Switch and Spur"
"Carolina Drama"
"Intimate Secretary"
"Hold Up"
"You Don't Understand me"
"Old Enough"

I have decided that I would probably walk on hot coals to see Jack White in any band, even if he joined Katrina and the Waves or something equally preposterous.
I know I'm gonna have a great time when I see his bands, and that's all you can ask.

Meal of Links

25 Worthwhile Documentaries". Hey, "New York Doll" is mentioned, I thought that was terrific. And "Slasher"!

Some of TV's Best Roles from last season. "Dexter" gets some love, as does Clay Davis from "The Wire". No one says "She-e-e-e-eet!" better than him.

Yep, he's my congressman. Kucinich introduces articles of impeachment against George W. Bush, as I write.

Exercise Yard

I miss Euro 2008 for one day, and this happens? WTF?


























My fellow soccerheads convened for some viewing today of the "Group of Death". First game was a yawner, as France and Romania tied 0-0. But the second game was a result of epic proportions as the Netherlands beat Italy, 3-0. Yes, the country that produced Todd Gack absolutely pounded the Italians. Worst defeat for Italy that I can remember. Beautiful goals by the Dutch, bringing up memories of "total football". A big Orange party tonight in Bern.




Well, how do you sit wearing this outfit?














Visitor

48 Down: (4 letters) Answer: Arte

Casino Drive being scratched really finds me searching for an upset bid at the Belmont. I'm not sure I'll find one. On a day when many tickets on Big Brown are purchased for souvenirs, he'll really be bet down and now with his main rival gone, it'll go the extreme.

I liked the way Denis of Cork closed at the Derby, although Borel had a perfect trip to get up for third. But he was so far back, I dunno. I'll just sit back and see if Big Brown can do it.

I decided to mess with the "Zohan" this morning. I went to the 9:45 show at the Regal Beagle in Middleburg. When I get to the lot, there are about 6 six cars parked there. Apparently, no one got the memo or read the paper. Hey, we're like a real city when you can see flicks in the morning.

As for the movie, it was OK. I really liked John Torturro as "Phantom", Zohan's archrival. He trained like "Rocky", complete with old-timey trainer and cracked eggs to drink, except they were live chicks. Adam Sandler wasn't too bad in this one, but he tried to toss in the inevitable Rodney King messages. I saw Sandler's ass. Lainie Kazan's ass, too. And hummus and Hacky Sack were prominent throughout.

Cameos by "The King of Queens", John McEnroe, Paul Mitchell and Mariah Carey. Charlotte Rae was in this! Michael Buffer was acting as a bad landlord in this one. Couldn't figure that appearance at all. Of course, Rob Schneider was in it. Overall, fairly standard stuff, a chuckle or two or three, but that's about it.

The line that will stick with me is hummus described as "a tasty, diarrhea-like substance".

Meal of Links

It feels odd that Jim McKay died during a run at Triple Crown. Because he covered those races for such a long time and was very kind to the horse industry in Maryland. I'm sure his legacy will be covering all those Olympiads (Munich: "They're all gone.") as host or could it be "the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat"? But for me, I remember lots of those events he covered for "Wide World of Sports". Name these cities and this is what I think of immediately:

Petaluma, CA-Wristwrestling Championships

Islip, NY-Demolition Derby

Acapulco-Cliff Diving

Kitzbuehl, Austria-Skiing on the Hannenkahm

West Allis, WI-Speedskating

One of the all-time greats in broadcasting.

It's a word that should be used more often. "Callipygian", a complement.

Could the new Saudi Arabia be North Dakota? Lots of oil there, it seems.

Exercise Yard

As Euro 2008 kicks off, here is a preview. Already have the requisite weekday off for Monday's matches. Let's go with Portugal as champs, they are in today's second match. And they're coached by "Big Phil".

Apparently, the first Butter Face of the tournament has arrived:
















Visitor

16 Across: Poet who coined "carpe diem" (6 letters) Answer: Hector

I was chatting with Best Friend a while back on how stupidly random the last lines of the daily PD horoscope are. Lots of "As you wish", "Happy as can be" or even "Where your friends are" and other things that make no sense to me.

Well, I don't know if they've changed the horoscope writing lately, but the last two days I've got: "Pick up a favorite munchie". So, we've gone from random action items to Prime Directives in the course of a couple of weeks.

Meal of Links

The Top 25 Newspaper Websites. NYTimes is first, followed by the LA Times. Two that I visit every day. I also go to the Washington Post every day and that was 5th. Cleveland.com comes in 16th. And if you've ever tried to search for an item there, you'll know why.

A chat with Joel McHale. Yes, "The Soup" is still on the air and extremely funny.

Jimmy Smits joins the cast of "Dexter". And all the time, Krusty the Klown will be running through my head.

If I didn't have enough things to worry about. How about the phenomenon known as "dry drowning"?

Exercise Yard

All about "10-cent Beer Night". I think Dollar Dogs is about the only cheap thing we are gonna get at Progressive Field. BTW, Ted Bonda insisted til his death that Beer Night was a good promotion.

Will Leitch is leaving as Editor of "Deadspin". That's another site I visit every day. Lots of good comments wishing him farewell. "First the Fat Boys break up, and now this."

Visitor

35 Down: Russo of "Tin Cup" (4 letters) Answer: Rene

Barack Obama finally wrapped up (I think) the Democratic nomination last night. Why all the talk of Hillary Clinton as Vice President? I've heard commentary on her "demands", ranging from paying off campaign debt, becoming VP, or even getting a seat on the Supreme Court.

Any demands on issues are probably moot, because on most things, they are close ideologically. But the sense that she is "owed" something by the Obama campaign honks me off. I think she'll get a well-deserved timeslot at the convention, help with debt and that's really about it. The focus needs to turn to McCain, who has stumbled along these past few months, with hardly a rebuke of any sort from the D's.

Time to get busy on November.

Speaking of November, this guy hates Joe Lieberman.

Meal of Links

The 100 Greatest Movie Posters. Lots of good ones here. I've always liked "Straw Dogs". Look at the juxtaposition of Nicholson in "The Last Detail" and "About Schmidt". Check out Deneuve on that "Belle De Jour" poster. Hot!

I watched a few "family Guy" episodes on TBS this week. I understand advertising other shows with graphics, some with motion, during the broadcast. But these Bill Engvall ads cross the line. Twenty minutes into each "Family Guy", he strolls on from the left with a remote and pauses the program, so you can hear him talk. Then a commercial ensues shortly thereafter. Extremely annoying.

Vanity Fair has another interesting article. No, not about Gina Gershon, but how the web was won.

Exercise Yard

They drew posts for the Belmont. Big Brown drew post position 1. Since there has been no Triple Crowns in the last 30 years (and I thought that chatter between Citation and Secretariat was getting old), the talk turns to ganging up on Big Brown.

Visitor

1 Across: Network with the slogan "very funny" (3 letters) Answer: TBS (except for those Bill Engvall ads)

I really hate the song "Music Box Dancer". Hated it a long time ago, and hate it still. Last night, I took a walk up to the post office and on the way back, nightmare occurs. It's an ice cream truck playing "Music Box Dancer".

You have to understand, it's three blocks away from me, and I've got maybe a 20-minute walk back. Not as if it's a car and it can pass you by quickly. It's on its route, practically crawling along and begging for customers, basically torturing me. Slowly. Then, it continues slowly down that street, ever so close. I can hear it, but can't get a visual on it. Finally, it disappears before I walk into traffic.

Meal of Links



























Any time Gina Gershon is involved, I am there. She's dirty with just a smidgen of being scary. Helena Bonham Carter, on the other hand, is dirty to the point of terrifying. But would be so good!

The oldest bars in the US. Well, until the commenters took notice. Begs the question, oldest bar in Cleveland? We are guessing Harbor Inn.

"Control", the Ian Curtis biopic, is out on DVD today. Liked it very much.

Andy Warhol was shot 40 years ago today.

Hey, that R. Kelly trial is something. Great courtroom watching today.

A question I've often asked. Could you retire with $1 million?

Exercise Yard

Google Street Maps strikes again. Hey, is that Lou Piniella? (Click Street View, rotate 180 degrees). He's on the Bar Louie side of the street.

Visitor

50 Down: Golfer Garcia (6 letters) Answer: Sergio

Not sure what to make of the MMA fights on CBS last night. I know a little bit about it, but this was my first extended look at a card. Let's say this, I'd be surprised if there are any other primetime bouts on CBS. I can see the protests lining up already, because there's too much blood. Quite simply, a faction of society is going to protest and I bet CBS is going to have to relegate future broadcasts to late night. But it was good network exposure for EliteXC and it may boost some PPV sales down the road. And nice to see Gus Johnson involved with the play-by-play. I loves my Gus!

This was the EliteXC faction that has already had some broadcasts on Showtime. I believe they are considered second fiddle to UFC at this point. But I see some problems. First, you need competitive matches. The first two that were shown last night, I would consider a joke. I understand that the smaller gloves render the bout almost a bareknuckle affair, but it seemed one punch would get these guys in trouble, down they go, the other guy hops on him, match over. That kinda sucks. In some divisions in boxing, you can go as many as six deep and get a quality bout. In MMA, it appears there are is not enough bench strength. I was flabbergasted to hear virtually each contestant hyped to the max to find out they had only participated in a handful of matches.

Second, there is sort of a wrestling flavor to the proceedings. The one announcer was straight from wrestling mode when he mentioned one guy's cauliflower ear resembled "an alien lifeform". And some of the ring entrances were preposterous. Some guy came out and was introduced as the "New York Badass" with lots of pomp. I dunno, he seemed to have a following. They mentioned his massive left hook, massive heart, and some other massive thing. I said, "What about his massive ego?" (see why I need others around when I watch this stuff?) But he turned out to have a 10-9 record and was one of the guys who suffered an early beatdown.

Third, way too much time between bouts. I see CBS working, keeping the main event til way past the scheduled finish time, but the pace should have been a lot quicker.

There are some other things I noticed. Gina Carano is "the face of Women's MMA". Fine. But you have to make weight. Jee-zus, nothing irritates me more than an alleged professional not making these commitments. And she was 4.5 pounds over! She knows CBS is going to carry the bout anyhow, but good God, at least try. I don't think that fact should be minimized. Having said that, she beat the shit out of her opponent and the doctor had to call that one after Round 2. Carano looked like she broke the left cheekbone of her opponent. Afterward, she was asked if she was committed to the sport. Not sure, but she has a nice look and is using this as a stepping stone, I think. Probably tough to find opponents and how big are these purses anyhow. I see a couple of more fights, then "Dancing with the Stars" in her future.

The fourth bout was the closest match in terms of quality. That actually went late into Round 3, when the doctor had to call that fight. You see, there are actually rules, and you can't eye gouge your opponent. Kneeing his skull is OK, but a Moe Howard move is a no-no. Go figure. There was an accidental eye poke. The guy gets five minutes to recover and the doctor is called in to exam the eye. The dude says I can't see right now, not once, but twice, but give me the five minutes and I'll be good. Uh, that's a fight ender of an answer. Of course, since the bout actually had action, the people started yelling, "Bullshit!". So, apparently the guy's vision isn't too important, because he's simultaneously spilling blood. Sheesh! The doctor actually had to stop two bouts last night and we're worried about horses breaking down?

The final bout featured English Tomato Can with the bad ear against, whom everyone came to see, Kimbo Slice. Kimbo Slice is a sensation currently, given that he did some backyard brawling and apparently was opening up cases of whoopass on victims. He was a CMA presenter and is on the cover of the most recent ESPN Magazine and may have the largest nostrils since the two-car garage that Judd Nelson carries around. I was laughing my ass off during Slice's intro when the Classy Jimmy Lennon, Jr. referred to him as "street-fighting legend from the Internet". If that doesn't speak to modern celebrity, I wouldn't know HD if it sat on my lap and called me "Mama". Then you realize Slice has a 2-0 record in "legitimate" MMA and could have been beating up "Parking Lot Guy" to enhance his legendary status on some old guy's lawn. Anyhow, Slice is on his back within 30 seconds of the bout, stunning virtually everyone. Sadly, he has not very good skills on the ground. I guess his forte is stand-up fighting, but this is MMA, Mr. Slice! And there was one point in the bout where the camera is up close and then zooms back to a view from about 100 yards to disguise some shenanigans. Did Kimbo tap out and they covered it up? So, English Tomato Can with the bad ear is actually winning the fight through two rounds. The non-Internet legend of Kimbo may die a quick death, but he throws a punch in Round 3 that basically explodes English Tomato Can's ear, spurting blood everywhere! ETC gets hit with a couple of more and staggers backward and the REF STOPS THE FIGHT! This call basically saves Kimbo's bacon on this evening and was one of the worst stoppages I've ever yelled at on my cable TV. ETC had gotten hit several times previously in the bout and staggered back with a clueless look and then continued to put Kimbo down. Unbelievable where guys proclaim they'll fight to the death that this one was stopped. Shame, shame, Elite XC! If the wrestling analogy holds, Kimbo Slice will be looked upon as a fraud and the fans won't tolerate it. I've seen this before, wrestling fans will not cut you slack if they think you are an overhyped fraud. See "The Rock" as "Rocky Maivia". It could happen with this guy. Slice was so gassed at the end, he had to cut the interview short and find a stool. He may sleep for a week. If I was EliteXC, I'd pay English Tomato Can some hush money, because that was, to channel Bill Walton, "horrible". And Kimbo may need to get on "Dancing with the Stars" quickly. He needs to cash in now.

BTW, you can gamble on this stuff. If Vegas thinks this stuff is fixed, that sport is done.

Here is a more seasoned viewer with his views. They parallel most of mine, especially the issue of not making weight.

Some guy who fought in the first bout has already called out Kimbo. Keeping with the wrestling angle, I suppose.

Some more truthful analysis and judges scorecards.

Meal of Links

Speaking of Google Maps. Here are the best Street Views.

I took my Dad down to Wendy Park, which is cool, because no one is down there. Really nice day, too. I suggest going to Carvel, too. Good ice cream in Valley View. My Dad was wearing his sundae, but hey, we had a coupon.

Breaking down the movie, "Sex and the City". From the male perspective.

"Is that hot?"
"Fuck, yeah, it's hot. Very hot."
"Really?"
"It says it right here on the package!"

Exercise Yard

The Euro 2008 site is up on ESPN.com. The four-letter has done a pretty good job with the TV commercials, too. I especially liked the Italians.

Sadly, the announcers are calling the matches from Bristol. Ugh!

Visitor

None, it's a sunny Sunday.