Not sure what to make of the MMA fights on CBS last night. I know a little bit about it, but this was my first extended look at a card. Let's say this, I'd be surprised if there are any other primetime bouts on CBS. I can see the protests lining up already, because there's too much blood. Quite simply, a faction of society is going to protest and I bet CBS is going to have to relegate future broadcasts to late night. But it was good network exposure for EliteXC and it may boost some PPV sales down the road. And nice to see Gus Johnson involved with the play-by-play. I loves my Gus!

This was the EliteXC faction that has already had some broadcasts on Showtime. I believe they are considered second fiddle to UFC at this point. But I see some problems. First, you need competitive matches. The first two that were shown last night, I would consider a joke. I understand that the smaller gloves render the bout almost a bareknuckle affair, but it seemed one punch would get these guys in trouble, down they go, the other guy hops on him, match over. That kinda sucks. In some divisions in boxing, you can go as many as six deep and get a quality bout. In MMA, it appears there are is not enough bench strength. I was flabbergasted to hear virtually each contestant hyped to the max to find out they had only participated in a handful of matches.

Second, there is sort of a wrestling flavor to the proceedings. The one announcer was straight from wrestling mode when he mentioned one guy's cauliflower ear resembled "an alien lifeform". And some of the ring entrances were preposterous. Some guy came out and was introduced as the "New York Badass" with lots of pomp. I dunno, he seemed to have a following. They mentioned his massive left hook, massive heart, and some other massive thing. I said, "What about his massive ego?" (see why I need others around when I watch this stuff?) But he turned out to have a 10-9 record and was one of the guys who suffered an early beatdown.

Third, way too much time between bouts. I see CBS working, keeping the main event til way past the scheduled finish time, but the pace should have been a lot quicker.

There are some other things I noticed. Gina Carano is "the face of Women's MMA". Fine. But you have to make weight. Jee-zus, nothing irritates me more than an alleged professional not making these commitments. And she was 4.5 pounds over! She knows CBS is going to carry the bout anyhow, but good God, at least try. I don't think that fact should be minimized. Having said that, she beat the shit out of her opponent and the doctor had to call that one after Round 2. Carano looked like she broke the left cheekbone of her opponent. Afterward, she was asked if she was committed to the sport. Not sure, but she has a nice look and is using this as a stepping stone, I think. Probably tough to find opponents and how big are these purses anyhow. I see a couple of more fights, then "Dancing with the Stars" in her future.

The fourth bout was the closest match in terms of quality. That actually went late into Round 3, when the doctor had to call that fight. You see, there are actually rules, and you can't eye gouge your opponent. Kneeing his skull is OK, but a Moe Howard move is a no-no. Go figure. There was an accidental eye poke. The guy gets five minutes to recover and the doctor is called in to exam the eye. The dude says I can't see right now, not once, but twice, but give me the five minutes and I'll be good. Uh, that's a fight ender of an answer. Of course, since the bout actually had action, the people started yelling, "Bullshit!". So, apparently the guy's vision isn't too important, because he's simultaneously spilling blood. Sheesh! The doctor actually had to stop two bouts last night and we're worried about horses breaking down?

The final bout featured English Tomato Can with the bad ear against, whom everyone came to see, Kimbo Slice. Kimbo Slice is a sensation currently, given that he did some backyard brawling and apparently was opening up cases of whoopass on victims. He was a CMA presenter and is on the cover of the most recent ESPN Magazine and may have the largest nostrils since the two-car garage that Judd Nelson carries around. I was laughing my ass off during Slice's intro when the Classy Jimmy Lennon, Jr. referred to him as "street-fighting legend from the Internet". If that doesn't speak to modern celebrity, I wouldn't know HD if it sat on my lap and called me "Mama". Then you realize Slice has a 2-0 record in "legitimate" MMA and could have been beating up "Parking Lot Guy" to enhance his legendary status on some old guy's lawn. Anyhow, Slice is on his back within 30 seconds of the bout, stunning virtually everyone. Sadly, he has not very good skills on the ground. I guess his forte is stand-up fighting, but this is MMA, Mr. Slice! And there was one point in the bout where the camera is up close and then zooms back to a view from about 100 yards to disguise some shenanigans. Did Kimbo tap out and they covered it up? So, English Tomato Can with the bad ear is actually winning the fight through two rounds. The non-Internet legend of Kimbo may die a quick death, but he throws a punch in Round 3 that basically explodes English Tomato Can's ear, spurting blood everywhere! ETC gets hit with a couple of more and staggers backward and the REF STOPS THE FIGHT! This call basically saves Kimbo's bacon on this evening and was one of the worst stoppages I've ever yelled at on my cable TV. ETC had gotten hit several times previously in the bout and staggered back with a clueless look and then continued to put Kimbo down. Unbelievable where guys proclaim they'll fight to the death that this one was stopped. Shame, shame, Elite XC! If the wrestling analogy holds, Kimbo Slice will be looked upon as a fraud and the fans won't tolerate it. I've seen this before, wrestling fans will not cut you slack if they think you are an overhyped fraud. See "The Rock" as "Rocky Maivia". It could happen with this guy. Slice was so gassed at the end, he had to cut the interview short and find a stool. He may sleep for a week. If I was EliteXC, I'd pay English Tomato Can some hush money, because that was, to channel Bill Walton, "horrible". And Kimbo may need to get on "Dancing with the Stars" quickly. He needs to cash in now.

BTW, you can gamble on this stuff. If Vegas thinks this stuff is fixed, that sport is done.

Here is a more seasoned viewer with his views. They parallel most of mine, especially the issue of not making weight.

Some guy who fought in the first bout has already called out Kimbo. Keeping with the wrestling angle, I suppose.

Some more truthful analysis and judges scorecards.

Meal of Links

Speaking of Google Maps. Here are the best Street Views.

I took my Dad down to Wendy Park, which is cool, because no one is down there. Really nice day, too. I suggest going to Carvel, too. Good ice cream in Valley View. My Dad was wearing his sundae, but hey, we had a coupon.

Breaking down the movie, "Sex and the City". From the male perspective.

"Is that hot?"
"Fuck, yeah, it's hot. Very hot."
"Really?"
"It says it right here on the package!"

Exercise Yard

The Euro 2008 site is up on ESPN.com. The four-letter has done a pretty good job with the TV commercials, too. I especially liked the Italians.

Sadly, the announcers are calling the matches from Bristol. Ugh!

Visitor

None, it's a sunny Sunday.