Isolation Thought

I know it's only June, but I have the first entry for my 2004 Christmas List. Yes, it's the "Dream Workshop". For $136 you can control what you dream. You place a photo of who or what you wanna dream about on the device, select appropriate music, and voila, it's your own home version of "Vanilla Sky". Lemme see, find a picture of oh, let's try Thea Andrews. Here is an appropriate one for dreaming. Or perhaps one where she's measuring...er...describing something. Now for the music. How about "Call to the Post". Hey, now you're dreamin'!!!

I guess I should be worried about this company's previous product, Bow-Lingual. Yep, it's the dog translator. It covers most breeds from border collies and bichons, all the way to Yorkshire terriers. What, you don't have one? You don't want to hear those complaints from your dog? Hard to believe everyone does not have a device that tells us what an angry bark is, as opposed to a friendly arf.

Meal of Links

David Bowie cancels his European tour because of his shoulder pain. The Tribe sends scouts anyway.

Toyota tops the latest dependability study from J.D. Power.

They found a frozen body on Mt. McKinley. It is not Jimmy Hoffa.

Exercise Yard

Since Wimbledon is winding down, let's check in with Ilie Nastase.

Visitor

36 Down: '30s heavyweight champ Max (4 letters) Answer: Baer

Isolation Thought

Since I've been seemingly hungover for about a month, this came as welcome news. An extract from prickly pears that acts as a hangover remedy. Actually tested by drunken students at Tulane University, it seems promising. Well, at least on paper. And here's information about the company, Extracts Plus and the product itself, called HPF (Hangover Prevention Formula). I'll see you at Happy Hour.

Meal of Links

Let's cram everything about Cleveland into a small travel article by the AP in USA Today. Kitchen sink included.

Looks like interest rates are going up.

It's The Sports Guy's annual Myra Fleener column. He's obsessed, but he's correct.

Exercise Yard

A brief history of colored uni pants in MLB. The Tribe is mentioned because of the blood clot unis they wore in the throwback game vs. the Reds.

Visitor

70 Across: Chamberlain of basketball fame (4 letters) Answer: Wilt

Isolation Thought

Last week, we had an old timer come into our office asking for directions. Many people do this, because the buildings around us are not marked very well. We told the guy where to go (not in that way, which is unusual for us). Well, he came back in a couple of minutes because his car broke down. We are a pretty cynical bunch, but it was like everyone wanted to be a Good Samaritan that day. One guy let him use the phone until he contacted someone. Another guy offered him and his wife water while they waited and I offered to take them to their appointment. I think we were more worried about the situation than them. But think about it, their beater of a car just died and they missed their appointment. And they were just some old couple seemingly not bothered by anything. As a matter of fact, because they got out of the heat, they drank the water and ended up snoozing for a bit. I was amazed at a couple of things. I was surprised how our own negativity didn't come up once, because the old guy was such a charmer, even though it looked like they really didn't have much materially. And when you do these deeds, however rare they are, when you truly help someone, how great that makes you feel.

Meal of Links

Oops, Britney Spears is getting married again. I know it's old news, but...

We may soon have Casey Kasem counting down the Downloaded Top 40.

A worker at a Boston Quizno's diagnosed with hepatitis A. As many as 600 need to get shots.

Exercise Yard

Kim Jong Il is an unbelievable golfer, in that, it's hard to believe his scores.

Visitor

7 Down: Roxy Music's Brian (3 letters) Answer: Eno

Isolation Thought

I can't say enough for the drug, Lipitor. I've been on this drug since last year and it is amazing. My latest blood test shows reductions from last year of total cholesterol down 32%, my LDL is down 44%, and even my triglycerides are down 22%. OK, maybe what it really means is I was a health mess before then, but I cannot recommend it enough.

Meal of Links

You can once again play "Space Invaders" and waste a lot of time, as you did when you were young.

A well-done analysis of why this year's Lollapalooza failed.

Kenneth Lay of Enron, still fiddling as well as Mark O'Connor.

Exercise Yard

There is nothing in all of sport quite like "People's Sunday" at Wimbledon.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

I absolutely hate having a hangover. All day, I felt as if I were Aquaman on land. You know the feeling, like a monkey slept in your mouth. Thank goodness I had some errands to run this morning or it would have been a total disaster. "Need...strength...must...get...haircut." But what a beautiful, cloudless day today. Our winters really make you appreciate a day like this.

Meal of Links

Local guy was selling himself to the highest-bidding morning drive program.

Mick Jones of The Clash gives an interview.

Congress passed some laws this week that seem to favor Hollywood. It seems that the government bashes Hollywood in the free speech realm, but bends over backwards to Hollywood when it comes to technology and copyright issues.

Exercise Yard

The Indians foolishly sign Aaron Boone. We already had Aaron Boone. His name is Casey Blake.

Visitor

1 Across: 2004 political nickname, with "the" (10 letters) Answer: Governator

Isolation Thought

It's June, so AFI came out with another one of their lists. This time, it was the Top 100 Songs list. These lists tend to be obvious, but there are some songs that probably need to be on the list. Where are:

"I'm Alright" Caddyshack
"Little Green Bag" or "Stuck In The Middle With You" Reservoir Dogs
"Right Back Where We Started From" Slapshot
"Stand By Your Man" The Crying Game
"Never Say Never" Reckless
"Bread and Butter" 9 1/2 Weeks
"Don't You (Forget About Me)" Breakfast Club
"These Boots Are Made For Walkin'" Full Metal Jacket
"We'll Meet Again" Dr. Strangelove
and the "Theme from Doctor Detroit".

Geez, I compiled this list off the top of my head. I am not saying these are Top 10 material, but they're pretty close. If you've seen the movies, you know exactly which scenes contain these songs.

Meal of Links

A House committee passes an anti-spyware bill.

A new poll says most Americans now call the Iraqi war a mistake.

It's amazing, I just saw a guy from Latvia be the number one pick for Golden State in the NBA draft. A couple of tears were shed. Just think about how amazing that is. 18-year old from Latvia, plays in the NBA and is an instant millionaire. BTW, the Cavs drafted Luke Jackson. He'll be more than a suitable replacement for Kapono.

Exercise Yard

Venus Williams loses, in part, because the umpire can't keep score.

Visitor

53 Down: Believer in the Great Pumpkin (5 letters) Answer: Linus

Isolation Thought

Has everyone seen these ads for Axe? Click on "Play Video" by Axe, for three ads. The third one is quite funny.

Meal of Links

Bowie has had a tough time lately. He cancelled in Prague, because of shoulder pain, after getting hit in the eye with a lollipop in Oslo. "We want to learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks, do we?"

A tough week for cancellations, as well. First Lollapalooza, now Comdex.

Maybe these lemurs were just tired.

Exercise Yard

In case you want to see an Indians game for half price (I feel like Allen Ludden) on 7/27, the password is tribetalk. This week only.


Visitor

61 Down: Actress Lollobrigida (4 letters) Answer: Gina

Isolation Thought

Here is the list of folks who will be announcing the Summer Olympics in Athens. OK, it looks like Lamps (Jim Lampley) is back as a host. Bill Clement, the hockey guy, is gonna be the Badminton analyst. Pat Croce, the old 76ers President, is gonna be the Taekwondo analyst. Lester Holt, the hardest working guy on MSNBC, will be there. The lovely Inga Hammond is a Bravo anchor. Hey, Teddy Atlas will be on Boxing. Karch is on Volleyball. So, it looks like it might be entertaining to listen to. But they need to get Melissa Stark more involved.

Meal of Links

After my visit to the doctor today, I went with my Dad to see the movie, "Dodgeball". It's short, took a while to get out of the gate, but it only became funny after Rip Torn made his entry into the movie. Jason Bateman as the TV analyst of dodgeball also was pretty funny. Ben Stiller finally got out of his habit of playing Ben Stiller and was better than he has been lately. All in all, not a bad 90 minutes spent.

While we're paying more for milk (I paid $3.39 yesterday), why not pay more for cereal?

Mary-Kate Olsen has an eating disorder. Maybe they can work on her acting disorder while she's in there.

Exercise Yard

Oh no, the Jason Kapono era with the Cavs is over.

Visitor

53 Across: Dickinson of rhyme (5 letters) Answer: Emily

Isolation Thought

There are two new sodas that have come out recently. Pepsi Edge is an absolutely dreadful concoction. It has 50% less sugar and, of course, less calories and carbs. It sounds promising, but it's like Oakland. There's no there there. I drink a lot of diet pop and this had me wishing I was drinking a diet. Now that's bad. I saw the new Coke product today, called C2. Based on their ads, it sounds awful, as well.

Meal of Links

The Brits are dumping lots of their red phone booths. In the words of Uncle Leo, "Will somebody get the damn phone."

All of a sudden, Connecticut has become a very corrupt state. A friend of the Second One Termer in his Family has resigned as governor.

Christ, Ben Affleck wins a poker tournament. Guys named Speed, Murray, Vinnie and Oscar must have been at the final table.

Exercise Yard

Ralf Schumacher has no memory of racing at the U.S. Grand Prix. I once went to an Indians game and lost a whole inning somehow. Just by sitting and yakking.

Visitor

5 Down: Anonymous John (3 letters) Answer: Doe

Isolation Thought

A Happy Father's Day to all Dads today. Ah, even the deadbeats can use this day to reflect on how bad they've been. We had a delightful brunch at Max's Deli. Nothing extravagant, but it's good place to get the appropriate eggs, bacon and sausage.

But, it's just another Sunday night listening to Gilly on WTAM. BTW, his bio needs to be updated. My God, he just mentioned on the air how outdated it is.

I was looking forward to the Men's Half-Yearly Sale at Nordstrom's. They make very good non-wrinkle shirts. Yeah, I'm sure it's cheap labor but my aversion to ironing outweighs any social issues when it comes to shirts. Trust me, I've slept in these shirts, I can attest to their non-wrinkle expertise. But the ones I wanted were not on sale and I'm bitter about that. Because they add things as the sale goes on, I now have to go online every day to see if these products make it on there.

Meal of Links

I won't use my favorite curse word to describe James Lipton.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have landed. At the wrong airport."

Lea Fastow's (Enron) gorgeous new digs at the Federal Detention Center in Houston are described.

Exercise Yard

I do not get golf fans sudden obsession cheering Phil Mickelson. This guy is the Buffalo Bills of the PGA Tour and I consider him a goof. Why fans on 18 didn't tell this poser, "Once more, we cheered you for four rounds and this time you waited until the 71st hole to screw us over. Clown." But it was Retief Gooosen who ground out a win at the U.S. Open.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

My new car was delivered today. I cannot believe I kept that a secret and hadn't told anyone since I ordered it. Yes, the black Scion xB is now in my possession. Admittedly not a car for everyone, but I think it has neat contrarian styling, lots of headroom and legroom, decent gas mileage and of course, something I've been pining for since its inception...XM Satellite Radio. And there is no-haggle pricing making for a better experience. The only thing that startled me was that my financial transaction was videotaped. I found that odd, until they started coming up with all of these "Preferred Customer" options that would have resulted in much larger monthly payments, for what I considered items of little value. Maybe people have threatened the finance guy. But they had items such as, if your car is stolen, they'll kick in $4K. Gee, I don't plan on having it stolen. It was the selling of fear including roadside assistance, etc. Lots of negativity. I didn't bite on any of it. It was like just give me the car. They handed me so many papers to sign, I may have been signing written criminal confessions. So, if you don't see me for a while, they either caught me or I'm out driving.

Meal of Links

"Big Brother" in the UK may actually be worth watching.

The first private space launch takes place on Monday. If you have $100,000 laying around, you could buy a ticket.

Accused priests just flock to other countries.

Exercise Yard

Stealing a headline from many years ago, Latvia beats Germany, 0-0 at Euro 2004.

Visitor

43 Across: Vice President under Jefferson (4 letters) Answer: Burr

Isolation Thought

I made an appointment with my doctor today. He's from Oz and is a pretty good dude. However, I am amazed at how quickly you can get in to see the doctor these days. It's definitely the assembly line sort of medicine that the Cleveland Clinic exercises, but I recall in the old days when you actually had to schedule way in advance. I like it this way much better. Boy, I'm glad I never had rickets.

Meal of Links

Saudi Al-Qaeda leader is gunned down. He was responsible for the death of the latest US hostage.

A Christian-like "American Idol" is being prepared. They are calling it "Gifted". Lemme guess, Sandi Patti and Amy Grant sit in as judges. How can they say, "You suck." on the Trinity network? Call me "Uninterested in this piece of crap".

Lance Armstrong's doctor gets honored.

Exercise Yard

Stern magazine tries to find the sexiest fan at Euro 2004. Not a very good contest as 16 of the women are rated below a 5. I mean, if Brazil was in Europe, it would be no contest, although Sweden-Italy had some lovely ladies in attendance today.

Visitor

48 Down: Mexican revolutionary whom Steinbeck wrote about (6 letters) Answer: Zapata

Isolation Thought

"I'm calling you from the foyer of the Sands Hotel." Ah, Morrissey. Jeezy Creezy, it is raining hard again. Time for soccer. A replay of Croatia vs. France and I have not seen the score!!! That means time for a beer. Molson Ice, Ice Baby.

Meal of Links

Kobayashi makes another run at the annual hot dog eating contest. It is pretty gross to watch one of these things. It looks OK in a 30-second clip, but there's a reason for those buckets hanging around. And, of course, Kobayashi was a star of the first Man vs. Beast special, a television classic.

Oops, I guess the Air Force wasn't prepared on September 11.

Lots of annoying spyware out there. I use Ad-Aware and Spy Sweeper to get rid of spyware on my PCs.

Exercise Yard

Marion Jones is pissed off. Victor Conte wants to sing to the feds. The best soap opera in sports continues.

Visitor

49 Across: "La Mer" composer (7 letters) Answer: Debussy

Isolation Thought

A bittersweet day.

It appears the World's Worst Neighbors have left. But they've left me with memories that I'll cherish and be sure to bring up at my sainthood meeting.

The Dream Chamber is gone. On the curb at 6:00, gone by 7:30. Sadly, I wasn't able to see it carted off. Be strong, O Haunted One.

Meal of Links

Ch-check out the video of the Beasties on "The Late Show". From the subway to the stage. Clean lyrics, of course.

Johnny Ramone is not dying, or is he?

Another happy arsonist.

Exercise Yard

David Duval is back at the Open. At one time, he was one of the top golfers in the world, but has not played well for a while and seemingly had given up the game. It says a lot about his character that he allows his game (or lack thereof) to be the butt of a joke in a recent Nike Ignite Driver commercial.

Visitor

6 Down: "Naked Maja" painter (4 letters) Answer: Goya

Isolation Thought

So some Somali was going to blow up a Columbus mall. Can't figure out why this is regarded as a surprise. We are fortunate that these types of attacks haven't happened already. Stories for years have shown the damage these clowns can cause simply by detonating bombs at places where regular folks congregate all over the world. There would be chaos if it happened here.

Meal of Links

A band I happen to like, INXS, signs up for a reality show to find a replacement for Michael Hutchence. I am not sure this is what I need.

Many Canadians have stopped lighting up heaters. What is it, about $10 a pack up there by now?

Nobody expected the Spanish Inquisition to be so overblown.

Exercise Yard

Here is the video of the guy who pushed a 4-year old kid out of the way to get a foul ball at a Ranger game. Please, give the ball to a kid at the ballpark. I have a couple of balls from games. One was tossed to me by David Justice and the other was from an usher, who wasn't allowed to keep batted balls at Jacobs Field, after a Jacque Jones homer. But I didn't fight a kid for either one.

Visitor

66 Across: Rocking Turner (4 letters) Answer: Tina

Isolation Thought

Ralph Wiley died today. If you've never read Ralph Wiley, you missed out on a lot. I remember stumbling upon him about 20 years ago during his SI days. This was when sportswriters on television were a rarity. I always thought on the surface he had "the young, angry black man" persona down perfectly. But after reading and listening to him a few times, there was a lot of power behind those words and it wasn't an act at all. I don't think he ever lost that punch and I'll miss reading him. A major loss for everyone.

Meal of Links

Eating fruit can help your eyesight. Even with my new glasses, I think I wrote that correctly.

Dell plans to sell more TVs. I like my Dell products and have had no problems.

Get used to more ads at the movies. Generally, I don't mind ads, unless it's something I have seen on TV. I appreciate it when advertisers recognize it's a different medium and adjust their pitch.

Exercise Yard

Tim Couch goes to the Packers. Packer fans hope Favre plays til he's 50.

Visitor

11 Down: "Beetle Bailey" cartoonist Walker (4 letters) Answer: Mort

Isolation Thought

In typical white trash action, my neighbors decide to load up a U-Haul (Are they all leaving? Stay tuned.) after 8:30 p.m. That means the associated noise, arguing and, of course, stupidity all night. Idiots don't know it'll rain on them shortly.

Anyhow, each time I think about my best friend on the planet, I can't help but think about the theme to the "Courtship of Eddie's Father". Of course, you have to sub female parts for the male parts. Regardless, she never fails to make me laugh. But I have to preface this next episode with a mea culpa. I am notorious for not using my cellphone to its fullest capabilities. Therefore, when anyone calls me via the celly, I typically do not have it on my person. More than likely, it is in my car, and I miss calls all the time. Then I have a failing of not checking voicemails and find out days later I was trying to be contacted. So, on Friday, she has already invited me to imbibe on an earlier message at 5:45 which I didn't get, which suggested she (BF), her husband (Male Co-conspirator = MCC) and another friend (Female Co-Conspirator = FCC) were going to Johnny Mango's for some drinks. When I arrived home after the Tribe game about 1:00, I had received at least 6 messages, between 8:40 and 9:00 wondering about my whereabouts.

Here are some of the safer examples of what I heard (I feel like I've just deciphered Nixon's tapes):

Call (amongst others) at 8:38 p.m.

BF (in a delightfully loud, drunken, slurring voice): "Ya goddamn bastard!! You don't pick up your cellphone. You don't pick up your home phone. God knows where ya are. You know what, your friends want to know where you are. Well, we wanna come party with you."

FCC: "Absolutely."

BF: "All right, I'm goin' to the bathroom. Buh-Bye."

Call (amongst others) at 9:00 p.m.

BF: "You know, this is why I can't get a hold of you. What the hell? All right, what time is it? Somebody tell me what time it is."

MCC: "It is right now..."

BF: "It is right now...at..."

FCC: "On standby."

BF: "Yeah, we're on standby. It is right now..."

FCC: "9:00!!"

BF: "It is 9:00 on Friday night and...you know, we don't know where you are. You could be at the game, you could be at Alesci's, but no. You won't answer your cellphone, do ya, ya bastard?

FCC: "Let him know (unintelligible)"

BF: "And we could be drinkin', uh..."

FCC: Tell him we're into (unintelligible)

BF: "Whatever...we're into...it doesn't matter. He knows he doesn't wanna drink with us."

FCC: (unintelligible)

BF: "NO. NO!!! YOU DON"T WANNA DRINK WITH US TONIGHT!!! NO!!!"

Whatever Johnny Mango's is serving, I'll take two. Maybe three.

Meal of Links

Some guy wants to change the key of "The Star-Spangled Banner" from B flat to G major. What's next? Della Reese singing "Seven Nation Army"?

AARP wants us to never retire. Can you imagine handling the present generation as a future worker at CVS? Please let me win Mega Millions.

Jools Holland laments the loss of Ray Charles. My favorite Ray Charles bit was on "SNL" when he took the Evelyn Woodhead Speed Reading course. He read so fast, his fingers were getting blisters.

Exercise Yard

My brother and I and a couple of friends went to Parnell's Pub for the France vs. England soccer match at Euro 2004. First of all, there was an unadvertised cover charge of $20, which is a pisser. The English were singing in the pub (at least until the end). Nothing like hearing a song with the tune of "Skip to my Lou": "Who put the ball in the Froggy's net? Who put the ball in the Froggy's net? Who put the ball in the Froggy's net? Super Frankie Lankard." But it allowed us to see what may have been one of the worst losses in soccer history. A loss so devastating you would think they had Cleveland on their jerseys, instead of England. Becks misses a penalty in the second half and the English blow a 1-0 lead in the 90th minute and lose, 2-1.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

I hate when you decide to go somewhere and then, without warning, the street is blocked off and there's something going on you weren't aware of. That was my experience while trying to go to Clifton Web to pick up some greeting cards today. But no, it was the Clifton Arts and Musicfest. Aaaargh!!!! Short jaunt took way longer than it needed to be. Don't get me wrong, cool stuff and all, but damn, get more parking or something.

What a dumbass clue in today's crossword. "Head of Canada?". The answer was Capital C. Sheesh.

Meal of Links

Rush Limbaugh is getting a divorce. I'm sure the drugs had no effect.

Oh, those college pranksters.

Girl tries to raise $1 million for cancer research by selling lemonade. Let's hope for a hot summer.

Exercise Yard

Coach Bob Huggins needed to book a ticket on the "Celebrity Drunk Bus".

Visitor

48 Down: Two-time U.S. Open winner Julius (5 letters) Answer: Boros

Isolation Thought

It used to bother me a lot when I would hear recognizable pop tunes on advertising. While The Who have obviously perfected this, there is a favorite old band with another of their songs used on a commercial. It is Devo, D-E-V-O. "Whip It" for Swiffer, "Beautiful World" for Target, "Freedom of Choice" for Miller, now "Uncontrollable Urge" for Mitsubishi. The music industry has changed so much since the boys were somewhat of a hit and made no money. It's their music and if they can now make a buck or two from it, so what? The industry cranks up the PR on a band, then they disappear quickly. I mean what about that group that sang "Closing Time"? Are they still around?

Meal of Links

Our friends at Alesci's won a 19 Action News Clean Plate Award. "Way to go!" says Scott Taylor.

Dave Chappelle might play Rick James, Bitch in a film.

Ex-President of Mitsubishi arrested in recall scandal. Greed is not contained by any one border.

Exercise Yard

More dopers exposed in the BALCO Case.

Visitor

33 Across: Judge in 1995 news (3 letters) Answer: Ito

Isolation Thought

President Reagan is lying in state as I write this. I was zipping through the dial to watch the coverage of the procession. My God, NBC had Bob Dole as a commentator. This was the man who was so weepy at Nixon's funeral. Remember "God bless Richard Nixon." And President Ford was asked a question and gave an unrelated answer. Look for him to go quickly. CBS was pretty strong. I didn't see too much of Fox or CNN or ABC. MSNBC had a frightening moment during Dick Cheney's eulogy. You could see Pat Buchanan and Chris Matthews superimposed on the screen. Thank God, they weren't on there having a pop or two or smoking, waiting for the state funeral to conclude. It looks like Nancy Reagan has aged about 10 years since her cell stem speech a month ago.

Meal of Links

Beatles are negotiating to sell their music online. "The Long and Winding Road" is leading right to the bank.

The running total of servicemen killed in Iraq.

Life magazine has made more comebacks than George Foreman.

Exercise Yard

Bradshaw blows his CNBC gig, because he did a Nazi salute during a wrestling match in Germany. I have actually heard good things about his financial book. Smart guy, dumb move.

Visitor

48 Down: Watergate figure with a radio show (5 letters) Answer: Liddy

Isolation Thought

School is out for the Cleveland public schools tomorrow. It looks like there is something afoot at Future Felon's house next door. Could they be spending time in NC this summer? I am lighting candles and hoping.

Meal of Links

DirecTV drops its stake in TiVo. Looks like they want to develop their own DVR.

Marc Anthony says, "I come to marry J-Lo, not to pay her."

Christopher Hitchens just rips into Ronald Reagan.

Exercise Yard

Ohio State cans basketball coach, Jim O'Brien. They should have done this in March and now they finally found a "legitimate" reason.

Visitor

49 Down: Digger of "The Life of Riley" (5 letters) Answer: O'Dell

Isolation Thought

To truly understand how much of a bomb "The Day After Tomorrow" is, look at the weekend grosses. It fell from $85m first weekend to $27m second weekend. That is an amazingly huge drop. If you hear Fox executives telling you differently, refer them to Penn & Teller: Bullshit!

Meal of Links

Please check out my friend Drew's blog. He always has some interesting stuff over there.

The Metallica documentary is just around the corner. The buzz on this is pretty good.

Velvet Revolver appears to be the 21st century's Asia. Remember "The supergroup of the 80s"?

Exercise Yard

The German soccer team loses to Hungary. Uh-oh, a Euro 2004 title ain't gonna happen.

Visitor

49 Down: Choreographer de Mille (5 letters) Answer: Agnes

Isolation Thought

All of a sudden, Ice Cream Wars has come to this side of town. For years we have been stuck with the ubiquitous Dairy Queen and a personal favorite, the Honey Hut. Just a few weeks ago, the Cold Stone Creamery opened up at Ridge Park. It has nothing to with Steve Austin. I had noticed some construction by an area KFC, across from one of the Dairy Queens. Alas, it is Handel's!!! Now, this is good. And a couple of Carvels are coming to Ohio soon. I guess all of these outlets looked at the latest "Fat City" index and decided to give it a shot.

File this under Odd Lines From Your TV. While stumbling through the dial today, I heard this on an infomercial for what I believe was the "Bun and Hip Roller": "After about 5 seconds, you can feel it in your butt?" The production staff apparently lacked better footage, so they left it in. You have to watch at least a little bit of these infomercials. I mean, how would we know about Chef Tony otherwise?

Wouldn't it be great to get a day off for Reagan's burial? Just a thought, it is June.

Meal of Links

Wi-Fi is free in so many places, it's hard for businesses to make money on it.

MGM Mirage, apparently jealous of the pool at Mandalay Bay, rolls the dice and makes an offer for the Mandalay Resort Group.

Colorado is the strangest place. How do you make a homemade bulldozer and no one knows? And don't you have to take a test run, before knocking over your Town Hall and library? He is the front-runner for Bitterman of the Year.

Exercise Yard

All the ladies were holding their breath as Oscar de la Hoya barely gets a decision over Felix Sturm. Gotta be the weight. Bernard Hopkins also wins to potentially set up a huge fight in September.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.

Isolation Thought

My application for first and second-round NCAA basketball games was approved. This is great news. Gonna be a lo-o-o-o-ong St. Patrick's Day in 2005.

I bought me a leather sofa today from the fine folks at Levin Furniture. Never understood how they make money when they always hand out many months to pay with no interest. Maybe the default rate is high, because they approved me for $8,000 in eligible financing. Apparently, there is a significant portion who forget to pay.

But that means the old couch (a.k.a. The Dream Chamber), will be departing soon. Yes, that Dream Chamber. The one that has allowed me to produce certifiably the strangest dreams I am aware of. Lately, Dale Earnhardt Jr. has been appearing as some sort of crime lord, harassing me to no end. I heard Rick Gilmore on WTAM last week talk about one of his neighbors who died on his couch. The couch was then placed on the curb in Tremont and somebody picked it up, never knowing that the previous owner expired on it. I'm wondering if I should attach some sort of note to the Chamber.

Ronald Reagan died today. I was not a big fan of Reagan back when he was President, as I was leaning to the left in those days. Great mic skills and when questioned on Iran-Contra simply couldn't remember. Maybe it was true. Anyhow, many people have had Reagan in their Dead Pools for a time, so while there is not out-and-out rejoicing, I'm sure many winks of the eye and nods of the head are occurring this evening.

While stumbling home after Midnight last night, I was listening to WJCU and they were playing a bunch of songs by female rockers. It points out how bad commercial radio, especially in the classic rock arena, could sound better with minimal effort, by simply opening up the catalog. Besides the usual Annie Lennox and the Go-Gos, I heard "We Live for Love" by Pat Benatar and, of all things, "Can the Can" by Suzi Quatro, who just had her 54th birthday this week. Did anyone's career flame out quicker than Suzi's? Playing Leather Tuscadero could not have been a help. You just don't hear enough of these good songs anymore.

Meal of Links

Probably more than you ever cared to know about the breakup of Creed.

Always pushing the envelope, China bans Internet bars and North Korea bans mobile phones.

Dismembered man's wife had filed for divorce. Wife heard to say, "Uh, I'm new at this, does this look bad for me?"

Exercise Yard

Birdstone wins the Belmont. No Smarty party today, as $50 million in stud fees disappears like Keyser Soze.

Visitor

65 Across: Danny Aiello's "Do the Right Thing" role (3 letters) Answer: Sal

Isolation Thought

My Personal Alcohol Consumption Index (PACI, pronounced "Packy", for short) has been spiking higher than gas prices lately, so it is time to catch up on a bunch of things.

My car continues it's Christine-like ways. Now the glove compartment cannot close. Locked in the down position. I can have a plate of food now while I'm driving around.

An eye exam results in another concession to age. Bifocals are coming!!! Although my prescription remains the same, I just was having a hard time reading Born-on Dates on beer bottles...er...I mean the stock quotes. I am hoping not to look like this guy.

My visit to Coinstar didn't get me the $400 in change I thought I would get. Nope, it gave me $410!!! Where's my Mega Millions slip?

The National Spelling Bee took place today. This event is a comedian's dream. My favorite speller of this year's Bee was none other than Sam Rock. The picture gives a bit of a hint, but with his hair now grown out a bit, honestly, he looked like a 12-year old Lou Reed. Sam got some pub on ESPN because he could spell names of the Minnesota Twins. Seems like an all-around good kid. Too bad he was sent home because he spelled it H-E-R-O-I-N, instead of H-E-R-O-I-N-E. I'll wait. I've got all day. It finally sunk in, didn't it? The other classic was that we had the first kid who fainted while spelling. He ended up as the runner-up, but conspiracy theorists are already accusing him of cheating.

Meal of Links

The Tigers have silenced the opera singing hot dog guy at Comerica. Opera hatred in action.

"Curb Your Enthusiasm" frees a murder suspect. Somewhere, "Harold Bingo" is smiling.

There is a big celestial event happening next week. Venus will appear to cross in front of the sun. I'm sure it's being orchestrated from a studio like the Apollo moon landings.

Exercise Yard

There was a time when Al Clark was the only person in baseball with his name on his cap. Now he's modeling the latest fashions of the Graybar Hotel.

Visitor

13 Down: Campbell of "Scream" (4 letters) Answer: Neve

Isolation Thought

I felt really bad for that old-timer who had his Memorial Day tribute stolen from his yard. Hundreds of little flags. Sure, the guy may go overboard, and probably starts planning next year's display today. But it's great to see someone with that sort of conviction and sense of pride in remembering fallen soldiers from WW2. Memorial Day, amongst other holidays (Thansgiving!), have turned into shopping days, and maybe we should back off on that a bit. I'm just as guilty as anyone. Hell, I was munching popcorn at the bijou in the a.m.

But the old guy seems like a reasonable chap and no one deserves to have stuff pilfered from their lawn. When you see his neighbors pitching in, buying flags, and generally just helping out, it makes for a nice story for all those who complain there isn't enough good news.

An aside: I have added a Comments section, which appears at the bottom of this page. Feel free to add your thoughts.

Meal of Links

Scott Peterson goes on trial today. My theory: They ran a place in a college town (read that as burgers and booze and young women every day) when they were younger. She wanted to move back to her home town. They did. Over time, he got bored, she got pregnant and he wanted out. May have killed her unintentionally, but then had to cover it up. A surprise of epic proportions, if he is found not guilty.

It's Cary Grant month on TCM. Goober Pyle does a helluva Cary Grant imitation.

Mel Karmazin resigns at Viacom. That is huge news. Karmazin worked lots of magic at the radio and TV divisions.

Exercise Yard

Maurice Greene runs the second fastest 100 meters ever. Fastest ever? Forrest Gump.

Visitor

45 Across: New York governor, 1795-1801 (7 letters) Answer: John Jay