Today's Kevin O'Brien op-ed piece in The Plain Dealer about the new Arizona immigration law really honked me off. Especially this line, "a perfectly good Arizona law". Let's face it, I don't think many Poles are gonna be questioned out there. But there is a site out there for all to read, "Deconstructing Kevin O'Brien".

BTW, where are all the "Drill, Baby, Drill" people today? Plus, Gov. Jindal seeks federal assistance with the problem. Mmmmm.

The latest oil update.

Meal of Links

Time has the world's most influential people. The list ranges from Didier Drogba to Lady Gaga to Glenn Beck.

"Little Danson Man" is very funny. David Cross and Peter Cetera chip in.

Thelma Lou got robbed in Mayberry. No one made a citizen's arrest, but the police did.

Charlie Crist leaves the GOP. Fox News unbelievably teased this during "Special Report" by saying, "Charlie Crist opens up about a secret...". Look, the guy is probably gay and you can't convince me that language was unintentional.

Spin has the best 125 albums of the past 25 years. Complete with audio snippets, and references from the Spin archive. Nice job. "Achtung Baby" is Number 1.

The fight against spousal flatulence continues with...

The Better Marriage Blanket



Exercise Yard

The latest Twitter phenomenon? LeBron's Elbow! It's actually kind of funny.

Visitor

24 Across: ___ Vandelay, recurring fake "Seinfeld" character who turns out to be a real judge in the final episode (3 letters) Answer: Art

"I'm an architect..."

The Kentucky Derby is on Saturday. Much like one of Goldman Sachs deals, it's a pretty shitty year on the Triple Crown trail. Note there are only two horses with morning line odds below 10-1. That's Lookin at Lucky and Sidney's Candy. Bob Baffert trains Lookin for Lucky and he drew the rail. Sidney's Candy (from the Sid and Jenny Craig family) drew Post Position 20, the far outside. In between, there is a whole lot of nothin' goin' on.

But there is one horse I would not mind taking a shot with, and that's Ice Box, who drew Post Position 2 and is 10-1. Trained by Nick Zito, and he says Ice Box is a late bloomer. Even though the field is crap, there should be loads of speed in this one. Some are predicting the half-mile in 44 and change. That means it is setting up for the closers, of which Ice Box is one.

Check out the breeding on Ice Box. His Sire is Pulpit and his Dam is Spice Island. His Grandsire, of course, is A.P. Indy and his Damsire is Tabasco Cat. So, we have bloodlines going back to Seattle Slew and Secretariat and Storm Cat. On paper, it's a trail of racing royalty and that looks like a winner.

Meal of Links

Keith Richards says he's growing up. Don't believe it.

Is the music video back? Don't believe it.

Sarah Palin sticks her foot in her mouth again. Believe it. I wonder if she'll refer to "Lame Street" soon.

Steve Carell says one more year for "The Office" ought to do it for him. Don't believe it.

Catching up with T-Bone Burnett. An American gem. Believe it.

Bob Bennett probably loses his Senate seat in Utah. Does that mean the end of legislating in the Senate? Don't want to believe it.

Today is the 7th anniversary of an all-timer from Sheed:

"Both Teams Played Hard"



Exercise Yard

Who is the most hated team in major league baseball? The Yankees? Red Sox? Dodgers? Nope. It's the Indians!

Visitor

11 Down: Five-time NHL scoring leader Jaromir (4 letters) Answer: Jagr

It's the end of an era today. I decided not to renew my Browns season tickets. I said if it ever got to the point of being a chore to attend the games, I'd probably give them up. Last year's combination of a really bad team, lousy opponents and not-so-good weather all contributed mightily to that decision.

It won't prevent me from seeing a couple of games, I'm sure. But, at least, for this year, I will be a free agent to watch the home games.

BTW, here is the home record since the Browns have been back, which made the decision much easier:

31 wins and 57 losses. A winning percentage at home of .352. With 7 of those wins in one year, 2007. Ah, the Glory Year!

Eleven years of some incredibly awful football.

Meal of Links

Cartoons that have caused controversy. Some of these were really hot at the time.

Capaicin is found in chili peppers. Now it can stop chronic pain.

Crap. Bad habits can age you 12 years.

Kenny Fuckin' Powers goes to Mexico for Season Two. No idea when it starts.

Wrestlers turned actors.

The Tribe needs to get on this. The Wendy O. Williams Bobblehead!

What if the Tea Party was black?

Almost spinoffs. Popular shows that tried to spinoff a show and it didn't quite work the way producers had planned. The Big Ragu didn't make it.

WTF? The owner of Joe Boxer now owns the rights to "Peanuts".

There is always electricity in the air when you get "fatcats" to appear in a Senate hearing. And, yes, I heard Claire McCaskill say "shitty" during the hearing. Sen. Levin loved it so much, he said it a bunch of times.

I give you the catchiest song of the spring...

"Felicia"/The Constellations



Exercise Yard

Before the draft, you can't ask Dez Bryant if his Mom is a prostitute. In the new world of the NFL, that's a fineable offense, not a peek into someone's psyche.

Visitor

14 Across: Bruin legend Bobby (3 letters) Answer: Orr

How did you like the Browns draft? I thought the picks of Joe Haden in Round One and Colt McCoy in Round 3 went well. I'm very curious to see if the second rounders consisted of reaches or if the Browns are just smarter than everyone else.

Paul had that relative of Jumpy Geathers circled as late draft pick, so kudos to him, as the Browns used their last pick there. And we also got a guy named Asante, but not Samuel. And South Florida’s all-time leading receiver Carlton Mitchell, whoever that is. So, all in all, not a bad start.

Meal of Links

Forget the VCs. Buy a lottery ticket.

Female. Model. Astrophysicist. Poker player. I'm all in.

Dexter killed cancer. Now get back to work.

"South Park". The most patriotic show on TV. Last week's censored broadcast was unbelievably good. But they are not showing the replays nor is it online.

This looks like a must-see for me. Especially with Linklater, Sayles and David Lynch.

"Great Directors"



There is a guy who plays Joni Mitchell in a one-man show. And Joni Mitchell likes it. She does a number on Dylan, too. Mitchell, that is.

7-Eleven now has its own beer, Game Day. Talk about a Big Gulp.

Speaking of beer. Paste reveals the best 30 beer bars in America. None in Ohio.

Exercise Yard

Kevin Kennedy took care of some wacko on an airplane. He had help, but give him credit.

Visitor

21 Across: Costanza portrayer (9 letters) Answer: Alexander

Pee Pipes

Yeah, I actually did it. I had to take a sick day yesterday. Just had all the things you hate to have, and they happened simultaneously. Headache, sneezing, blocked sinuses. Oh, it ran the gamut. Worked from home today, as I was still not 100%, but look to get back to full speed tomorrow. Hopefully.

Meal of Links

WBWC has the Summer Marathon Schedule up. The biggest surprise? No Simple Minds this year.

Check out these Dream Islands. Wouldn't you like to call someone and say, "I'm in Yap!".

Bourdain on tour. Long interview with shots at Guy Fieri.

After seemingly a 100 versions, the American version of "Top Gear" is finally set. Much different cast than what was mentioned in the past.

The GEICO voiceover guy got fired due to teabaggers. Lots of media saying this is the voice of the gecko, it is not. It's the "15 minutes..." guy.

Clearing up that "big bank bailout" phrase from the Financial Reform bill. Nope, not in there.

Exercise Yard

Lord Football smacks baseball. Again. No World Series break this year.

Visitor

27 Down: New Wave band _____ Boingo (5 letters) Answer: Oingo

Yeah, it's a bit creepy now, but back then...

"Little Girls"/Oingo Boingo



Upon further review...it was creepy back then.

I had one of those days where I could pinpoint the time I actually got a cold. Very strange. During lunch, I got all congested and started sneezing all afternoon. Not sure where that came from.

Meal of Links

Some of these seem late for 2010. But here are the dates for season finales. I'm thinking "24" and "Lost" will get the most attention.

Use your savvy on buying a big screen TV to use when buying a car. Lots of work, but it can be done.

Romania has a big project to construct the world's largest wind farm. How far behind are we?

"Treme" explained. Episode 2 was really good. Do not steal Lester Freaman's tools, man.

Writing the Classics. With a little help from your friends. Including alcohol, psychedelics, uppers and downers.

Sly Stone left quite the impression at Coachella. Then again, he's Sly.

Exercise Yard

Yeah, it's gross. But the "Pukemon" moniker is genius.

Visitor

67 Across: Slurpee alternative (4 letters) Answer: ICEE

Maybe the Indians can play Chicago every game. meanwhile, Shin-Soo Choo is the only Indian doing anything on offense. Choo has 4 of the 9 homers, and the Indians have scored 45 runs and he has knocked in 12. Team ERA is 3.68.

Let's see how they do against non-White Sox opponents.

Meal of Links

The Dead Weather at Coachella. With video.

About that volcanic ash. It's not even the biggest volcano in Iceland. Holy magma, Batman!

Did you know every actor on "Lost" is exactly the same height? I've never seen the show, but I think that's incredible.

The trustworthiness of facial hair. Ranges from "Very Trustworthy" (Full Beard) to "Disastrous" (The Hitler).

March Madness probably heads to CBS and Turner. Not bad for Turner, as that would allow them heavy promotion for the upcoming NBA playoffs. Games would be on CBS, TBS, TNT and truTV, effectively ending the hassle of not seeing the game you want in your market. For example, we always get any Ohio or Big Ten schools.

I saw an interview with the CEO of Spirit Airlines, the airline that is now going to charge for carry-on baggage. In my opinion, the guy sounded like a tool. He kept going back to the idea that people had choices, but what if everyone chooses a different airline than his? Anyhow, other airlines aren't thinking about charging.

Exercise Yard

I fear it may be near the end for Kelly Pavlik. Strange fight last night, in that his opponent, Sergio Martinez was just too quick for him. Martinez was on the bike and won the first 4 rounds easily. Then, Pavlik seemingly figured him out and dominated the middle rounds.

But a cut, and I mean a gusher, appeared on Pavlik's right eye at the start of the 9th round and that was all she wrote. The corner couldn't stop the bleeding and Pavlik was a bloody mess until the fight was over. Not even that close as Martinez got the decision.

Looks like Pavlik has to make the move to 168, because there just aren't any paydays at 160. Gotta bet that Paul Williams fight is soon, I'd say.

Visitor

None, on a cloudy Sunday.

I saw the movie "Kick-Ass" this afternoon at the Capitol. First time with the main screen, and I must say, they did a nice job with the restoration. However, we gotta support it. Today, there were 4 of us there. That ups the total for my last two movies there to 5 patrons. Ouch. Can't figure if it was reviews or the fact the R-rating prevented the kiddies from attending.

Anyhow, I was going to pass on "Kick-Ass". The previews did nothing for me. I'm not Comic Book Guy either, but with all of the debate going on about this movie (Roger Ebert called it "morally reprehensible"), I had to see it. And I'm glad I did. I loved it.

It's funny, the story that involved the character Kick-Ass didn't really do too much for me. The "bored teen as superhero" angle was decent enough, but the movie kicks into the highest gear when "Hit Girl" and "Big Daddy" come on the scene. Big Daddy is Damon Macready, played by Nicolas Cage and he is insanely over-the-top as an ex-cop with revenge on his mind. And an Adam West voice when he dons Big Daddy's pseudo-Batman outfit. And Hit Girl is his 11-year old daughter, Mindy Macready, played by Chloe Grace Moretz, who steals the movie. See, Big Daddy has trained his little daughter in all different sorts of weaponry: Guns, knives, ninja stars, etc. Plus, she has a foul mouth, too. We are introduced to them as Big Daddy is firing bullets at her, so she's not scared when the real thing happens.

For all of the talk, I didn't think it was that violent. I understand the trepidation of an 11-year old wreaking havoc with all of the weapons, but it was never an issue for me. Really good choreography on the shooting sequences, mindful of "Shoot Em Up". The villains were great, especially the main drug kingpin, played by Mark Strong, who I last saw in "RocknRolla". McLovin played his son, who'll do anything to get into Dad's business. The head sidekick was Joey Fusco, Jr. No matter what movie he shows up in, he'll always be Joey Fusco, Jr. to me.















And the soundtrack. Good God, full of choice tunes. I heard the "Banana Splits Theme" by The Dickies during Hit Girl's first fight scene. Of course, "Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett was the only choice as she was blasting away near the end. Even Sparks with "This Town Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us" was used as Kick-Ass realized there were other superheroes out there. "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley was featured. Morricone's "A Few Dollars More" was in there, too. And last, but not least, Elvis(!) with the "Battle Hymn of the Republic". Kudos to whoever chose the music.

We always get bored with the formulaic when it comes to film, but this is so unique, I can't see how anyone wouldn't like it. And if you wear the Hit Girl costume for Halloween, trust me, you'll be the coolest kid on the block.

Meal of Links

How to access blocked websites. The BBC one might be worth a look.

Tina Fey backlash. Huh? Includes "Brownie Husband".

The concept of True Fans. If you are a musician and can somehow find 300-400 "true fans' willing to spend $100 a year on you, you could make a decent living.

Exercise Yard

Cavs, Cavs, Cavs! Forget the closeness of the score, they won this one early.

Visitor

10 Down: Pitcher who was a 2008 post-season standout for the Phillies (10 letters) Answer: Cole Hamels

Today was Happy Tax Day. That means all of the Tea Partiers proclaimed what a great country we live in and how not angry they are. Oddly enough, Fox News is involved.

And, as far as the New York Times poll about the Tea Party Movement. Quite frankly, it should be renamed The Angry Old White Man Party.

Meal of Links

The lineup at Cannes. Kate Beckinsale on the jury.

An act of "guerilla public service". The LA fake freeway sign.

Worldly pizzas. Everyone is making them now.

100 movies you have to see. A very good list of contemporary films. The one I absolutely hated was "Donnie Darko".

It's the 20th anniversary of "In Living Color". I loved "Handi-Man".

It's National High Five Day



Exercise Yard

An interview with the great Steve James. ESPN debuted "No Crossover: The Trial Of Allen Iverson" on Tuesday and I suggest you watch it.

Visitor

20 Across: Citi Field NLer (5 letters) Answer: NY Met

Opening Day 2010

Got my first look at the Tribe on Monday. Of course, they lost to Texas, 4-2, in 10 innings. It appears to get them to have good starting pitching, good relief pitching and good hitting all in the same game this season will be a chore. Gale and I were in attendance with excellent first row seats in Section 102.

Things of note: 16-oz. Beer from vendor is $7.75 (drank at Alesci's); Rabbi Feldman-approved Super Kosher Dog is $6.50; Regular Hot Dog is $4.50. Men's and women's bathroom lines were long. Parking was generally $20 for Opening Day. Biggest cheer was for Mike Holmgren.

Check out the mob scene on East 17th about two-and-a-half hours before game time.

















Must be a big game. The blimp is there.

















Even the grass at the cemetery looks greener on Opening Day.

















Extremely difficult to see this unused parking space by a meter, past the fire hydrant, on the way to Progressive Field. The red vehicle parked there immediately after.

















First look from the seats. Another exciting season of Indians baseball.

















I was like Robert DeNiro in "The Fan" or Crazy Joe Davola. I must have taken 95 pictures of Shin-Soo Choo. He homered, so we got to yell "Cho-o-o-o-o-o!"

















Sell out, my ass.

















Nelson Cruz hammered the game winning homer in the 10th. He also tripled. Basically, he killed us.

















Onion with the halfway lead.

















View from the lowers in rightfield.

















Matt LaPorta hitting.

















Yeah. He's still there.

















Choo, Brantley and Kearns talking about the shitty bullpen.

















East 17th, as I left around 8:05. Much the same as when I arrived.

















Meal of Links

Larry King can't do much right these days. Divorce #8 with rumors he slept with his sister-in-law. Yikes!

The Rubik's Cube is now 30. Had no patience for it. And really, can't think of anything worse than watching someone try to solve it.

Do teachers really want creative little minds in the classroom? It appears they don't.

Oscars for movie websites. Well done.

Jon Stewart does it again. This time on taxes.

18 characters from Warren Zevon songs. "The Envoy" hasn't aged one bit. Everyone else from Springsteen to Roland and Johnny. Always good to listen to some Zevon.

Johnny Marr remembers a lot. With a "(Nothing But) Flowers" mention!

Roger Waters is packing up "The Wall" again. This time in 36 cities. It's only been played 31 times up to this point. And, whaddya know, Cleveland rocks!

29 creative pinball machines. I'm shocked the Kiss machine didn't make it. Maybe not weird enough.

Exercise Yard

The Dodgers had an interesting Opening Day. They arrested people for tailgating in the Dodger Stadium lot. That's a no-no.

Visitor

55 Across: Chicago Eight defendant Bobby (5 letters) Answer: Seale

Yeah, I know. FIGJAM won the Masters. The over-the-top rooting for the guy by CBS always dampers the event for me. Lee Westwood, for one, bore the brunt of the ignorance since the implausible eagle-eagle-birdie run by Phil on Saturday. When Peter Kostis, who I really like, said this, "Lee Westwood is like a heavyweight champ who just got hit with two roundhouse rights and is dazed right now..." I was in pain. Ahem. First of all, Westwood had been playing swimmingly and had only one bogey at the time and secondly, HE WAS STILL LEADING THE TOURNAMENT! And still had the lead after 54 holes.

I get it. FIGJAM's popular for reasons I don't get. I mean the guy aligns himself with ExxonMobil, (you know, he's a tinkerer) and that's like rooting for the devil. So, there are enough people cheering for him without members of the broadcast team chipping in.

Meal of Links

There is a movement about for a Bad Baseball Hall of Fame. There has to be one Indian who stands out, no? Someone who showed up and stayed around even though they sucked. Jack Heidemann?

Fox affiliates say no to Conan. I don't think it'll happen.

Lots of R's want Zack Space's seat. I had a guy yesterday at the Giant Eagle see my bumper sticker so he decided to make a crack about President Obama. This was an Angry Guy who was making a scene at the self-checkout, so my motto was "self-preservation" and I let it go. Speaking of Anger, check out the photo of one guy running.

Exercise Yard

Hey, they're starting to pick on Windy in NYC. Author says it's a joke.

Visitor

None, on a cool Masters Sunday.

Malcolm McLaren died the other day. Produced the Sex Pistols and Adam and the Ants and Bow Wow Wow (remember "The Burundi Beat"?). Truly a one-of-a-kind visionary. Many links here. I think if you are described as a "raconteur" and a "provocateur", you've probably lived a full life.

"Dog Eat Dog"/Adam and the Ants


TEXT

"Anarchy in the UK"/Sex Pistols



Then there was this ("...all that scratchin' is makin' me itch...")

"Buffalo Gals"/Malcolm McLaren



Meal of Links

"Treme" starts tomorrow on HBO. And, if you're David Simon, the critics usually love what you do. Or, maybe not. It's all those nagging comparisons to "The Wire", I guess.

Adobe guy hates Apple. Isn't this something you used to chat about around the Adobe water cooler, but not necessarily for public consumption?

As I say during every golf major. Go to Jason Sobel's liveblog on ESPN. Make sure you get the Round 3 one today. I'm with Lee Westwood this week, not DoDo (I mean, FIGJAM).

Jim Rome went off a week or so ago about people on the "Family Feud". Clapping for the most inane "good answer"s. Well, here's proof.

Ellen Hates The USA



Exercise Yard

Personal Ensign also died. The best filly I ever saw.

Rare finish here:

Win-Personal Ensign (undefeated lifetime)
Place-Winning Colors (a Kentucky Derby winner)
Show-Goodbye Halo (a Kentucky Oaks winner)

1988 Breeders Cup Distaff



Visitor

52 Across: Former NBA star, Dave ____, now mayor of Detroit (4 letters) Answer: Bing

Aw, what the hell. Tiger news:

Banged the neighbor girl.

At the Masters: "Are you the stripper?".

Billy Payne admonishes Tiger.

Vegas likes him.

Let it go, Nike, let it go!



Meal of Links

The end of Steve Wozniak's Apple. Signified by the iPad.

The rise of Lady Gaga. Still not sure about her.

ABC's summer schedule. I actually like "Wipeout". It makes me laugh out loud every time.

Exercise Yard

NFL teams may be liable for a player's dementia. California's workers comp laws enable many cases to move forward. Don't even need to live there.

Visitor

25 Across: Giant Mel (5 letters) Answer: Ott

Every so often, I get these heavy vibes where I think about something and, moments later, there it is. Well, I had one of those feelings today. As I was driving home, for some reason, I was thinking about a set of music I carved out a while back, featuring Irish bands. Must have been for St. Patrick's or something, several years ago.

On it was "Mandinka" by Sinead O'Connor. Thought about that song and sure enough, the next tune on XM was "Mandinka". Hadn't heard it in a while and for that to come on at that precise moment was a bit creepy.

"Mandinka"/Sinead O'Connor



Meal of Links

How can you change the rules of scrabble? I'm not even sure why you would change the rules. But they are now allowing the use of proper nouns. Djibouti, anyone?

"Extreme Makeover" gets, um, an "Extreme Makeover". Recipients cannot afford the new homes.

Track the British elections here.

Exercise Yard

The allure of Brittney Griner? Sorry, I don't see it.

Visitor

36 Across: Former heavyweight champion and lover of mountains? (13 letters) Answer: Rocky Marciano

I think the Indians were mathematically eliminated from the pennant race today. Not a good start.

One week til I get my first look.

Yes, This Actually Happened Last Night



Meal of Links

Nine suspect music videos made by film directors. Landis and Scorsese with the Jacko videos.

The 50 best music movies. "Control" is #3 and "24-Hour Party People" is #1.

Startling news from Boston. Some of the Red Sox think Jason Varitek is dead.

Exercise Yard

Can Butler win tonight? Would be a great story (and more fans for next year's CSU-Butler game), but Duke is playing extremely well right now.

Sadly, I think Duke rolls.

Visitor

51 Across: Five-time A.L. batting champ Boggs (4 letters) Answer: Wade

The Indians, baseball's version of "Breaking Bad", start play tomorrow, as they open the season at Chicago. I've taken a hard look at the club and see them winning 74 games this year. Which is actually 9 games better than last year, but still not even close to where they need to be. I think the Most Interesting Manager in the World, Manny Acta, will be a breath of fresh air, but it looks like a 4th-place finish in the Central. That means plenty of good seats available starting, oh, next week or so.

Starters:

This year's rotation is Jake Westbrook, Fausto Carmona, Justin Masterson, Mitch Talbot and David Huff.

Seriously, if they get 10 wins out of Jake Westbrook, they should consider themselves lucky. Hasn't pitched since early 2008. I believe he is the longest-tenured Indian at this point. Doesn't mean all that much, but it's a Fun Fact to Know and Tell.

Fausto Carmona will win 15 games this season. I firmly believe the Hispanic voice of Acta pays dividends here.

Justin Masterson is murdered by lefties. And lefties are still allowed to play this season. I looked it up. 10-12 wins, tops.

Mitch Talbot. We traded Kelly Shoppach for him. 5 wins. OK, that dripped of sarcasm. Make it 6 wins.

David Huff will have me yawn more than most of the pitchers. 10 agonizing wins and probably more losses. At least, no Ryan Garko in left field when he pitches this season. That always kept me awake.

Bullpen:

Chris Perez, Rafael Perez, Joe Smith, Tony Sipp, Jamey Wright, Aaron Laffey and Jensen Lewis.

I actually think Chris Perez will be OK as the closer. I firmly believe the job is his for a long time. We just gotta get to him.

Rafael Perez will never duplicate 2007. Let's hope he never duplicates 2009 again.

Joe Smith is murdered by lefties. Yeah, him too. But he's healthy this year. So when lefties hit him this year, no excuses.

Tony Sipp. Not a good spring after a decent 2009.

Jamey Wright is an innings eater. His arm will eventually fall off and when he realizes he's with the Indians, that should probably happen before June.

Aaron Laffey should get major innings this year from the left side. I see many 2-inning outings from him this year. Should be fine.

Jensen Lewis needs to stop throwing gopher balls immediately. Leads the league in whiplash.

Everyday Lineup:

Matt LaPorta, Luis Valbuena, Asdrubal Cabrera, Jhonny Peralta, Michael Brantley, Grady Sizemore, Shin-Soo Choo Lou Marson and Travis Hafner.

Matt LaPorta finally starts somewhere, now it's at first base. About effin' time.

Luis Valbuena is at second. Can't hit singles for some reason. Current regime seems down on him, while The Departed couldn't talk him up enough. Not good defensively.

Asdrubal Cabrera should be fine. Droobs was the most consistent Indian last year. On the good side. We had many who were consistently bad.

Jhonny Peralta. Has not hit well since "his vee-zee-own is twenty-twenty". I think he'll do well this year. Knocked in 83 last year while the entire community crapped on him. Should sleep better now that Eric Wedge ("The Mentalist") can't yell at him. So, he'll be well-rested while seeing clearly.

Manny Acta is high on Michael Brantley in left field and that's a good thing. I'm sure the front office is still concerned with service time, but Acta is making a stand. Good for him.

Grady Sizemore is healthy once again. So, what do we get? .260 with a bunch of strikeouts or a major leap in play to match the hype? Still waiting.

I have apologized for calling Shin-Soo Choo the "Asian Trot Nixon". Now, he's one of my favorites. I know it's as juvenile as it gets, but I just love saying "Choo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!" at the ballpark.

Lou Marson is the catcher. Unlike Valbuena, he hits an absurd amount of singles. Hopefully, not another Eddie Perez, who knocked in 3 runs in his first game of 2002 and then waited until the last week of the season to drive in another one.

Travis Hafner should be a 20-100 guy if he's finally healthy. On-Base Percentage, Slugging and OPS were all up last year and he had a better year than most were willing to admit. Can't stomach that pay though, if he's a 20-71 guy from here on out.

Backups:

Russell Branyan, Andy Marte, Mike Grudzielanek, Austin Kearns, Mike Redmond.

Russell Branyan. Cue Nancy Kerrigan: "Why? WHY?".

Andy Marte. The Cleveland version of "The Thing That Wouldn't Leave".

Mike Grudzielanek. He ruins the most Indians Spelling Bee contestants since Masa Kobayashi.

Austin Kearns got one line in today's PD preview as the fourth outfielder. Enough said.

Mike Redmond is the backup catcher and was the big free-agent signing over the winter. I cannot believe I just typed that. Saw him hit into a triple play once.

Yep, that looks like about 74 wins.

Meal of Links

They found the Missing Link. Doesn't this happen every few years or so?

How to make your own Girl Scout Cookies?

Ah, Opening Day. Let's see what Vin Scully is up to.

Why bring Ring-Dings to your Easter gathering, when you can have bobka? I wonder if they carry the "lesser bobka"?

















Exercise Yard

Charley Rosen answers some NBA questions. Z gets discussed and not in a good way.

Crack Reporting from the EPL



Visitor

None, on a sunny Easter Sunday.

Kind of an OK Final Four this evening. That Butler-Michigan State game got pretty ugly in the second half. But I've seen Butler play that game countless times. Sometimes against Cleveland State, the score would barely move for as much as 8 or 9 minutes. Those are painful to watch, because Butler, more often than not, comes out on top. Geez, they've only lost 14 games in three years.

On the other hand, I thought Duke-West Virginia would be a better game. But Duke arrived, probably better than advertised. Statistically, this Duke team rates as one of their best. They controlled the tempo, picking up WVU defensively in the backcourt. Shot the ball really well, including 12 threes. And they hit the boards mercilessly. I mean WVU couldn't even bring out the 1-3-1 zone because Duke, with their height, would just go over the top of it. The second half was all Duke. You can argue they didn't deserve a number one seed or that they had the easiest path to Indy, but they still had to produce.

Hard to see Duke losing on Monday.

Meal of Links

Do they track "Cash Cab" on this thing? BTW, I saw the host of that show on the Golf Channel's "The Haney Project" with Ray Romano.

Easter Egg Hunt becomes "CSI: Des Moines".

The Gus Johnson Soundboard! "He's in shape" is the enduring one from this March Madness, although a good "Ha Ha!" is always nice to hear.

Exercise Yard

I just watched the Roy Jones-Bernard Hopkins fight from our friends, the Chinese. Words cannot describe how horrid it was. How appropriate I saw Rabbit Punches on Easter weekend.

Visitor

6 Down: First name at Notre Dame (3 letters) Answer: Ara

Time to catch up:

Absolutely fantastic weather lately, so with the afternoon off, I had to fire up the grill. You don't get to say I am having shrimp on the barbie very often. But I said it today.

You know it's spring when you can hear the grunts of the neighborhood mentally-challenged kid.

I hate to bring this up, but you know me. The other day, I was at Subway for lunch. I usually get a roast beef because it meets the healthy sandwich requirements. Anyhow, I'm behind a guy who KNOWS THE NAMES OF THE EMPLOYEES!!!!! Says hello to the order taker, than the first veggie person. Seriously. I've been going for there for years. I don't know their names and I'm pretty sure I do not want to know their names. He was also talking to a corporate bigwig who happened to be in front of him, so I had to hear all of his plans for Easter weekend. As he was finishing with the cookies, it was then the old, "Today, I'm gonna have...". How come God works in mysterious ways, except when I'm in a line?

I went to see "The Ghost Writer" the other day. It was the first time I bought a beer at a theatre (they had Magic Hat!). I said bought, not brought. It was also the first time in a long time, I had a private showing. Yep, I was the only one there. Too bad, because it was a really good movie by that Roman Polanski guy. Pierce Brosnan was a former Prime Minister of England who was writing his memoirs and Ewan McGregor was his ghost writer. It was interesting how many characters surprised me on their entrance. Hey, there is Duncan from "The Class" as McGregor's agent. Hey, who's that bald head of the publishing company? Why, it's Jim Belushi. Then it's Kim Cattrall with a British accent. Then it's Olivia Williams who seems to be taking the Emma Thompson/Kristin Scott-Thomas roles lately (she was in "An Education"). Eli Wallach...still alive. And, finally, even Tom Wilkinson shows up! It's at the Capitol for another week.

Our favorite Polka DJ heads to Buffalo for Dyngus Day on Monday (third graph from bottom).

Time Warner Cable finally made the channel switches this week on my box and the Navigator seems to work better for me. They added NHL Network and Fox Soccer Plus and I succumbed to their siren call. It's only 5 bucks. That eliminates one trip a month to Subway, which was perfect timing on their part.

Meal of Links

Why buy an iPad? I'm very happy with my new laptop.

Anna Paquin says she's a bisexual. Or is it she just can't make a decision?

Andy Rooney still reads the funny papers. Good God, I think I could take his job.

Movies with the worst opening weekends. Did not pay for any of them, although I thought about "Astro Boy".

There is a new "King of Kong". I sense a rumble.

Best Friend alerted me to this methane bubble. I'm not weirded out by the bubble, but I am taken aback by the overzealous farmer who wants to pop it with his knife.

Everybody loves flyovers, but here are the 10 best flybys. The guy in Number 3 has, as Jerry Caesar would say, "balls the size of church bells".

"Here come those Santa Ana winds again."

Exercise Yard

It's getting closer to the time I actually think about the Indians. Leitch wrote this about 6 weeks ago. How true.

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4 Down: Hockey Hall of Fame nickname (4 letters) Answer: Espo