I attended last night's Cavs game, which was much like Sunday's game against Detroit, not good for us. Thanks to Denise for asking me to tag along. This game was quite different than the Philly game I saw a few weeks ago. I thought the Q was a little toned down for that effort. But last night's game was a David Stern (and I assume, Dan Gilbert) wet dream.

It really did have that amusement park feel to it. They did not leave any time for rest at all, as your senses were bombarded from start to finish. Last night was supposed to be payback for Z getting chopped in the head the day before. Ronnie Duncan was ready. The fans seemed ready with their "Rasheed Must Bleed" signs (one kid, a kid, mind you with great parents, had a sign that read, "Hey Cavs, Jack Up Sheed For Me"). The Cavs are basically a wimpy team. No one stuck up for Z on Sunday and certainly yesterday, no one took it upon themselves to be a little rougher with their fouls.

But the sideshow is apparently what the games are about these days. Duncan with his "Eric Snow-ho-ho" schtick, an Alson Jewelers contest where a Detroit fan and a Cleveland fan sat on a block of ice to win something, halftime entertainment from the Acrodunk guys (they were subpar), pictures of Detroit or Michigan fans (including Bo a couple of times) contrasted with (ugh!) Ohio State garb-wearing sheep, Cavalier Girls all the time, constant video and sound that makes sure you're distracted from watching actual game action and a slew of other stuff. It's a shame, but that's what this ADD-addled society has wrought.

The game, ahh, the game. The Pistons are very good. Not exactly their best effort last night, and they still won by 12. Their much-maligned bench came through in both of the games as McDyess, Hunter and even Dale Davis provided quality minutes. Clearly, the best team in the East. The Cavs, on the other hand, were just outhustled and it shows how long they have to go to be an elite squad. The Pistons won, 84-72.

BTW, my favorite sign was: "We Came All the Way from Strongsville to See Stephen Graham Play".

Meal of Links

Today is Fat Tuesday. Fat Tuesday has spawned many traditions. One of the lesser-known ones I look forward to is when my brother says, "I don't like packzis."

Spent Mardi Gras at The Harp this evening. Honestly, it was kind of quiet celebrating it in an Irish place, but their special Creole menu consisted of pretty good chicken gumbo and a decent jambalaya. We know who makes the best jambalaya so that's not up for discussion. Interesting spoons at The Harp for the gumbo. Not as big as a soup spoon, slightly larger than a teaspoon (perhaps 1.5 times), with an ergonomically slanted handle, just the right size for my yap. Anyhow, it was quiet there until The Boys from County Hell fired up the instruments. I must say, some of their Pogues tunes were spot on. And it was getting pretty crowded when we left.

It also pays to have an unnamed family member double as a crack dealer, as I was able to obtain several boxes of Honey Graham O's. This one person is definitely not a fan. Regardless, I poured some in my Wheaties ceral bowl and ate them with a small spoon. At least 45 minutes of euphoria.

Exercise Yard

Manny Ramirez will be 34 years old this year. Gulp.

Visitor

42 Across: Mexican War President (4 letters) Answer: Polk

Now that they are over, here is my favorite Olympic moment. Not an event, but Glib Matt's interview with the Halfpipe Chicks. (Click on Feb. 14 video). "I was like, "Yeah!" and she was like "Yeah!". Quotes like "super good" and "heavy medals". No, they are not stoners.

Meal of Links

An interview with Philip Seymour Hoffman, this year's Best Actor winner, I am sure. He was in "Capote" and, once again, that will win Best Picture. As Stephen Hunter says about "Brokeback Mountain", "...many Oscar voters are not from the arts, but in crafts and sciences. These are prosperous middle-class people who remember (and prefer) things the way it used to be...They just don't want to see handsome young men kissing."

Don Knotts died, as did Darren McGavin. Knotts was absolutely perfect as Barney Fife. And "the nervous man" routine was hilarious. The bit about the guy delivering a speech and having the wind blow his papers away sticks in my mind. Another twist on that was being a weatherman and not having the script arrive on time. And Darren McGavin was really good, too. "A Christmas Story" with him as the Dad is a pretty choice role in a sweet movie. And it's interesting that he made only 20 "Night Stalker" episodes, as it seems it lasted longer. I prefer to remember him in "The Natural", because it's one of the few imitations I do. Remember, it's all about the eye.

A nice article on the Agora's 40th Anniversary. Think back to August 1978 when you could see Johnny Winter, Springsteen, Utopia and Southside Johnny for a total of 18 dolla.

Exercise Yard

I hardly watched any of the Week 2 Olympics, but I'm always there for Short Track. The relays have that sense of overwhelming chaos that I like.

Visitor

None, it was an early Cav Sunday...with bloodies.

Wow, it seems like I'm really busy lately. Last night, we headed over to the Beachland Ballroom to see Blue Lunch. Blue Lunch brought in two women referred to as the Blues Divas. One was Candye Kane, and, yes, it was that Candye Kane, she of large breast fame. The other was Michelle Wilson.

I kinda dug Michelle a bit more, because I thought she displayed a wider range. Candye was more of a raunchy, belt it out type of singer. They were both good, but I liked Wilson's act a bit better. The band was pretty hot and it made for an enjoyable time. Plus, we got to park in the lot, even after arriving after showtime.

Meal of Links

Since I gave Gale the only Christmas present ever cancelled (the badgering of Casey Blake), I've been searching for things to do. Today we headed over to ICASI in Chesterland, for a five-course lunch made by a culinary student. They asked if we would like to be seated with other people and we said, "Sure." Turns out they had lived in Hawaii. Him by Diamond Head, her in Kailua, which is where I stayed. What are the odds on that happening?

I had:

Corn Fritters with Creole Aioli
Chicken and Sausage Gumbo
Mango and Cucumber Salad with Mesclun Greens and Lime Vinaigrette
Grilled Mahi Mahi with Pineapple Salsa, Peas, and Basmati Rice
Key Lime Pie with Rum Whipped Cream

Gale chose:

Stuffed Red Peppers with Seafood Brandade and Assorted Olives
Shrimp and Clam Chowder
Spinach and Citrus Fruit Salad with Toasted Peanuts and Honey-Orange Vinaigrette
Seared Duck Breast with Cocounut Curry, Sauteed Swiss Chard and Spiced Roasted Taters
Cocunut Flan with Kiwi Fruit and Mint

Of course, we shared and I think we decided that, clearly, I had the better of the deal. Especially that gumbo.

Now, it's $15 apiece and you don't get huge portions by any means. The Mahi Mahi could have been called Mahi, and the pie was a bit slim. But I must say, I asked for the Gumbo recipe, because I would crawl a mile for the gumbo I had today, it was that good. They had an 11:30 and 1:30 seating. We took the later time and it was not filled to capacity. Overall, a experience that worked out pretty well.

A Detroit kid downloads Song No. One Billion from iTunes. He gets 10 iPods. Ten of 'em. One for each mood, I guess.

Here comes Lenovo. Get used to it.

Exercise Yard

Today was the last CSU hoops game against Wisconsin-Green Bay. The Vikings lost, 76-72 or something like that. Not a very good defensive effort today. They were outrebounded and allowed 46% three-point shooting. CSU concluded the regular season with 10 wins and 17 losses. It's getting old. Lots of winnable games went by the wayside and, quite frankly, they escaped with some wins they had no business getting. It will be interesting to see where the off-season takes us. We'll see if they keep Coach G. Regardless, it's another tough sell next year.

Today was CYO Day and that padded the crowd to over 4200 tonight. The concession lines led me to really dislike children. It was also Alumni Day and City Council declared it "CSU Basketball Day" or some such nonsense.

Visitor

43 Across: Model Carangi (3 letters) Answer: Gia

While I was in Hawaii, I discovered crack in the form of Honey Graham Oh's. I'm not a cereal eater, but damn if this stuff isn't addictive. I had a bowl every day and since I use a small spoon, it made it last even longer. And it stayed crunchy. But it looks like you can't get it around here. So, I have to order it online. I may have to order a lot because of the impending apocalypse.

Meal of Links

If you are thirsty, add what is in your bar. The site then comes up with some drinks for you.

Guns'N Roses are back. If Tonee, Tony, Toni can do it, why not them?

In case you need to pick a lock. We have the tools.

Exercise Yard

Danny Ferry may be a good GM. Two good trades by getting Flip Murray from the Sonics and old reliable Lee Nailon from the Sixers. They can help.

Visitor

37 Across: "Will & Grace" costar Messing (5 letters) Answer: Debra

One of the chores you have to do when you return from vacation is pick up your mail. With President's Day, I had to wait an extra day. The thing that is most baffling to me is that I went through some of the bills I received and they were already due. What is that about? Particularly the water and sewer bills. It's as if they gave me a week to pay. I realize it's a short month, but wow. Plus, I'm a stickler for that kind of stuff, so it kinda bugs me.

Meal of Links

Among the more interesting news items is the idea of a UAE company operating six of our ports. The surprise to me is that a US company was not running them in the first place. It was a British concern that has been sold to the UAE company. I understand we maintain control over the security aspects, but it does raise the question. Why can't a US company do this? It does appear that some US companies are involved in Long Beach and Los Angeles. If it isn't profitable, how come Dubai (a US ally, BTW) is involved? And if a bill is introduced to block this, Bush will veto, when he has yet to veto anything to this point. Our Treasury secretary used to be the Chairman of CSX, who sold their port subsidiary to the same Dubai company a couple of years ago. Well, that smells, doesn't it? A story absolutely loaded with subplots.

The Donald and Martha are still feuding. Although, I happen to think Trump's promotion for his new season of "The Apprentice" is actually humorous.

They may guard are ports, but are they that bad? I mean they ski indoors in Dubai. Where's my cowbell?

Exercise Yard

My brother and I attended the CSU hoops game this evening. Of course, the Vikings lost in OT, blowing a 14-point lead. The highlight must have been high-fiving Vike before the game. The strangest thing was seeing one of the Illinois-Chicago players look suspiciously like the cotton candy guy. I mean we never saw the both of them at the same time. Very odd.

Visitor

57 Across: Katharine of "The Graduate" (4 letters) Answer: Ross (She is now 66. Yikes!)

So, I'm back from Hawaii and slowly getting in touch with the real world. I went to brunch at Johnny Mango to get in the NEO mode. They have a brunch on all Holidays.

But news does travel across the Pacific, so I know that Dick Cheney went on a shooting spree and Albert Belle was stalking an ex-girlfriend. The problem is nobody cares, because you are in Hawaii. It's like "Hey, Cheney shot some guy, let's go to the beach." Although, the weathermen treat the threat, mind you, the mere threat of rain, as Tanchak would treat a snowflake. With panic. Very strange. We decided most people stick their heads out the window to figure it out.

Hawaii was great, BTW. Here is where all of us stayed. The owner lived next door and was a bit of a character. But it was roomy and was close to the beach and convenient to most everything.

Trip didn't start so well as Best Friend not only spilled most of a diet soda on me, but also vomited on me (motion sickness) during the ride over. Then the first step outside happens and a light shower comes down. But it was great weather for the most part and we did all the things you are supposed to do. And we ate well, oh yes we did. First thing we did was sign up for the FoodLand card to get cheaper stuff, because it's kinda expensive, although I'm sure you knew that.

Places we visited for chow:

Haleiwa Joe's. I had the blackened cajun-grilled ahi sammie.

Panda Cuisine for one helluva dim sum.

Ocean House at Waikiki. I had Wok Fried Crab Cakes, a Lobster Skewer and a whole fish that I think was moi, but maybe something else. Really good.

Romy's Shrimp Truck. A definite stop on the way to the North Shore. And a steal. I had the spicy. It doesn't look like much, but it's great.

Ted's Bakery. This has landmark status on the North Shore. Lots of surfer traffic. But they have the best chocolate haupia pie, which we did not have. We opted for, get this, Pineapple Macadamia Nut Cheesecake. Omigod. A beautiful piece of bakery.

Dave's Ice Cream. I went to the Waimanalo location for some Banana Fudge. Coma set in 15 minutes later.

And we did all the touristy stuff. The Pro Bowl, but the game sucked. The North Shore. A really incredible place where you can eat like a pig, see Botanical Gardens, go in the water with real live turtles. Pearl Harbor, which is, on one hand pretty solemn, but also incredibly interesting to me. The drive around Diamond Head with the blowhole was pretty cool. That whole drive, the "scenic route" to Waikiki from the east is full of places to stop. The Ala Moana shopping mall is another place loaded with stores. I even stopped at the Lush store to pick up a couple of items.

All in all, a great time. I didn't drink that much, either. Only every day I was there. Our group was 0-for-1 on sunsets and 1-for-6 on sunrises (I was the only one to make Day One's attempt and I was late by 5 minutes. Everyone on the beach told me how great it was. We saw one on Friday. Thankfully.) because of the clouds.

Flights in both directions landed an hour early. No leis off the plane, unless you are in a tour group. Coming back was brutal. I cannot sleep on a plane and fidgeted for 7 hours. Then, after a 5-hour layover, the flight from Chicago to here was delayed because they didn't know how to handle the largest motorized wheelchair I had ever seen. We took off about an hour late while we sat on the plane for that deal.

Meal of Links

Of course, I have seen some of the Olympics. I wonder what happened to that guy with the cowbell who always used to be at the starting gate for the alpine skiing events. I wanna be that guy. Or the other guy up there who used to scream, "Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai!" Have you seen that Short Track chaos? Or what about that Chinese pair that skated to "Kashmir"? That was a jolt. The coolest was that snowboarding one with four of them out there at once. That was nuts. Here is where to check the results. The time difference in Hawaii leads to around-the-clock coverage. They delay their primetime coverage to their primetime. After Lampley does his late night thing, you can switch over to USA or MSNBC and their live coverage for the next day is not delayed, so you can immediately pick it up again.

NBC tells some websites to stop playing "Lazy Sunday" from SNL. That sucks. Double True.

Curt Gowdy died. I always liked Curt, even though many people thought he rooted for the Bengals when they played the Browns. When I went to Miami, all the Bengals fans told me he rooted for the Browns. So, he must have been good.

Exercise Yard

Andy Murray. Britain's newest star.

Visitor

54 Down: President between Tyler and Taylor (4 letters) Answer: Polk

Still trying to recover from seeing Sly on the Grammys the other day. Wanted to let everyone know I am heading west for a while. See you around President's Day. Aloha.

I tuned in to that never-disappointing televison event, The 2006 Grammy Awards. Let's get the inventory. We have Green Tea by Sobe Lean, HDTV by Sony, snack items include Red Vines, Sour Cream and Onion Pringles and Organic Corn Chips (Hey, they were on sale). Here we go:

8:00: It's Madonna and Gorillaz. I hear "Feels Good", I see Gorillaz, but no Madonna. Great thing about a cartoon band, they travel cheap. De La Soul are there live and they are screaming way too loud. But wait, there's more! There she is and she's shakin' it. A lot. She looks like she got her outfit from the Flash Gordon Outlet. Christ, Madonna is still gettin' it done.

8:07 Pan of audience. I recognized not one person. They run down the list of folks appearing. I like the name John Legend.

8:09 Stevie Wonder and Alicia Keys. Stevie makes blind jokes! They duet on an a cappella version of "Higher Ground". Mercifully, it's short. Best Female Vocal: Kelly Clarkson. That's a bad omen for the rest of the evening.

8:15 Coldplay comes on and Chris Martin looks suspiciously like Dr. House. It's a pleasant enough tune. Martin goes into the crowd and basically runs around like a dork.

8:20 John Legend gets mentioned again.

8:25 It's John Legend in wonderful black & white. What is this, an Oz tribute? I have an HDTV, CBS! Ah, there's the color. Doesn't help the song, however.

8:29 It's Best New Artist nominee, Sugarland. Don't they have three albums out? I hear voices. Ha, the guitarist's mike is dead.

8:31 Big and Rich (WTF?) come out to mention Merle Haggard wins the Lifetime Award. Best Country Album goes to underwhelming crowd favorite...Alison Krauss. Applause died quickly on that one.

8:40 U2 with "Vertigo". It's been 2 months since I've seen them. Adam Clayton looks scarily like Alec Guinness. Crap, I spit out my chips as they show Jenna Elfman standing and applauding. Next song is "One", because it's plastered all over the top of the stage in many languages. Mary J. Blige channels Patti LaBelle and ruins the song.

8:40-something Noted hispster Matt Dillon is out to present the Best Rap Album. Actually, Ludacris helps him out and mentions David Bowie gets one of them there Lifetime Awards. The award goes to Kanye West, who has a shout out to John Legend, and thanks his publicist and says that's a tough job. I laughed.

8:56 Kelly Clarkson sings. Bathroom break.

9:00 Gwen Stefani and Green Day Guy are on stage for Best Rock Album. U2 wins in a big upset, considering they just performed. Tony Bennett applauds. The Edge has a better speech then Bono. Even Bono says, "Good man, the Edge" in the background.

9:08 Ellen comes out. Well, she's been out. It's the Macca, Paul McCartney with his first performance at the Grammys. I think it was 42 years ago this month, that the Beatles appeared on Sullivan. Dave Grohl with affirmation. For the second song, he chooses...Omigod, it's "Helter Skelter"! I almost spit up a Red Vine. Great choice, since they are in L.A. Manson with affirmation.

9:17 Black Eyed Peas and Jennifer Love and her Hewitts are on stage. Chris Blackwell gets a Trustees Award. Guess who wins Best R&B Male Vocal? Why, it's John Legend.

9:26 Mariah Carey is singing. She's had an incredible comeback this year. She celebrates by not wearing any underwear. She has a dude dressed in black in the audience quoting things, perhaps scripture. His robes remind me of the Spanish Inquisition guys from Monty Python.

9:32 Teri Hatcher is wearing underwear, because I can see it. Michael Buble is her escort. I hate the guy and I don't even know who he is. I can tell I hate his music, and I'd give anything to hear Richard Clayderman right now. Pop Vocal Album goes to Kelly Clarkson. Has she changed her outfit? She thanks God and Jesus, who always seems to be on the short end of these things.

9:40 My personal long national nightmare, Jenna Elfman, tells us Owen Bradley wins a Trustees Award and then introduces Keith Urban and Faith Hill. Their songs are OK, but I'd give anything to hear Loretta Lynn right now.

9:47 Chris Brown (who?) and Santana are on stage. Santana mumbles the guy's name who gets a President's Award. Best Rap/Sung Collaboration is "Numb/Encore", now that's what I'm talkin' about. A most excellent choice of what a mash-up should be. Linkin Park Guy talks, Jay-Z declines, but he has the hardware.

9:56 Dave Chappelle comes on and introduces someone who left show business 19 years ago. One of my all-time faves, it's Sly Stone!!! But wait, he's not on stage. Did they call that guy Manhunt, Van Hunt or Mike Hunt? Hey, it's John Legend. Again. And Joss Stone. They sing "Family Affair". Fantasia and some guy join the group for another song. Maroon 5 and Ciara sing "Everyday People". I'm waiting for Cynthia on the horn or Larry Graham to show up. Some guy named Will I Am, not Sam I Am, sings "Dance to the Music". I swear Randy Jackson is playing bass back there. Steven Tyler, Joe Perry, and Robert Randolph absolutely butcher "I Wanna Take You Higher". Here comes Sly! Holy fuck, he has a yellow mohawk and looks like a cross between Antonio Fargas and Scatman Crothers behind his shades. Sly is barely singing. Is he really playing keyboards? It appears his hand is taped or he borrowed the Missing Persons chick's directions to the crack house. OK, now he's leaving. Has he just screwed the Grammys and CBS? Bring on the lawyers. An incredibly bizarre appearance.

10:13 L.L. Cool J. gives a Lifetime Award to Robert Johnson. Then introduces Jay-Z, wearing a Lennon t-shirt, and Linkin Park. Yes. Then the Macca comes out for a little "Yesterday" action. Kinda different.

10:24 Noted rock figure, Tom Hanks (sporting that Da Vinci cut), gives The Weavers a Lifetime Award. He then introduces the Boss, and Steinbrenner comes out and...naw, it's Bruce, dressed in black, with harmonica at the ready, which means I hope this is short. Seven verses later, "Devils and Dust" is over.

10:30 Destiny's Child pops up on stage to unusually tepid applause. Beyonce looks incredible, BTW. Song of the Year goes to U2 for "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own". The producers play a different tune, ha. Bono has the cowboy hat on and thanks his Dad. Nice.

10:36 The Tom Jones "Help Yourself" Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper commercial is on again.

10:39 In a Spike Lee-inspired sequence, Jamie Foxx representing JFU battles Kanye West from KW State in some strange marching band contest. Here comes this year's urban prom outfits. Kanye appears to have the bigger hat. I'll say KW is quite the entertainer. Here come the Gold Digger cheerleaders. Deray comes out with boys representing Broke Phi Broke. James Taylor applauds at the end. Could they have shown a whiter man at that point?

10:46 Newly-single Sheryl Crow and Sting give Cream a Lifetime Award. Record of the Year is a good choice. Green Day with "Boulevard of Broken Dreams".

10:54 Terrence Howard gives Jessye Norman a Lifetime Award. Herbie Hancock tickles the ivories while Christina Aguilera sings the Leon Russell classic, "A Song For You". She still has the chops.

11:05 Fiona Apple, Chuck D and Common give Best New Artist to John Legend. Shocking, as the man has been on only half the program, thus far.

11:08 Dead People Scroll in alphabetical order except for Richard Pryor. Omigod, it's Queen No-Teeth-A, I mean Latifah. Where's my pizza? She gives Richie his Lifetime Award in a rather awkward tribute.

11:17 Bonnie Raitt and noted white man, James Taylor, give a shout out to producer Steve Lillywhite. Engineer Al Schmidt gets a Trustees Award. Album of the Year goes to U2 and Bono gives props to his fellow nominees. Nice.

11:20 The Academy President with a Nawlins tribute, asks for mo' money and says go to New Orleans. This dude said more today than the President of our country one week ago. It's "Yes We Can-Can" with Allan Toussaint, Dr. John and Elvis Costello swapping lead vocals. Next, it's Sam Moore and Springsteen joining the others for "Midnight Hour". A nice finish, with a tribute to the Wicked Pickett.

Meal of Links

This maid cleans real well. Cleans out jewels and other stuff, too.

Jeff Probst becomes the Carlton Fisk of the Reality TV set. "Respect the game."

Who wants to marry me around my birthday? It'll be at ESPN's HQ in Bristol.

Exercise Yard

Uh-oh. The NHL hired the Unabomber prosecutor to investigate the gambling scandal. Hooded men, beware.

Visitor

19 Across: Ray of "GoodFellas" (6 letters) Answer: Liotta

We had a hankering for a little Taco Tuesday action, so a group of us headed over to Lincoln Park Pub, which is still the best place for cheapie tacos out there. They range from a buck-and-a-quarter to two bucks. Combined with cheapie Mexican beers and you can have quite the meal.

Oh God, Valentine's Day lights are up. Please kill me.

Meal of Links

You say potato, I now say diet food.










Hey, there are naked celebrities in the next issue of Vanity Fair. Seems like Scarlett's got a little Annette Bening going on. And that's Tom Ford, not "The Rock", dropping the People's Lips near Keira Knightley.

For those who didn't watch "Grey's Anatomy" after the Super Bowl: "Code Black" doesn't mean I didn't watch, but that there's a bomb in here.

Exercise Yard

The NHL can't grab any headlines, so why not have an assistant coach on a team partcipate in a gambling ring. Guaranteed publicity.

Visitor

33 Across: Ugandan tyrant (7 letters) Answer: Idi Amin (no Dada)

I believe it was the dullest Super Bowl in a long time. Alesci's did right by us by showing the game via a projector with the big screen, and it was pretty cool. I had a choice seat, the food was good, and I drank a 12-pack. Stayed longer than I thought I would, but you knew Cousin Ron would be there for the duration. Probably wouldn't have had that many pops, but a friend showed up at halftime, and we ended up leaving kinda late. I mean, I think Jimmy Kimmel was almost over when we left. Then her and I had to battle the wind to get to our cars. It was like a wintry Katrina out there.

BTW, I was so proud of my Dad while watching the game. The Pepsi commercial came on and he said, "Hey, there's P. Diddy.". This from someone famous for referring to an actor named "Richard" DeNiro. So, I thought what's up with that. Then there was an ad for a new ABC show starring Rob Estes. I said out loud, "What show was he on again?" and my Dad says, "Silk Stalkings." Whoa, check out the big brain on Dad. He completed the trifecta by confirming Tommy Kirk played the original "Shaggy Dog". I kept getting it confused with "The Shaggy D.A."

Game Thoughts:

While Heath Miller did not score the first TD, he should have. Second-and-Goal from the two, before Roethlisberger's faux TD, should have been his chance.

No mention of the troops. I thought that odd.

I was really comfortable and did not imitate Michael Philip Jagger.

John Madden said something extremely funny: "I don't know what they're looking at, that they needed to take his pants off."

Did I mention I drank a 12-pack of beer?

Not sure how many times Bettis' parents were shown, because I didn't care.

"Sweet Shaun Alexander" wasn't sung, because Seattle abandoned the running game way too early.

My Brooke Burke comment was, "I'd like Brooke Burke on top of my Whopper."

I had the correct winner, but not the correct score. And I won zero squares again.

Meal of Links

The Super Bowl commercials were OK. There were a few standouts for me. OK, Brooke Burke in anything rates highly. Another was the Bud Light commercial where the refirgerator disappeared behind a wall...into the next apartment. Of course, if monkeys are involved, it's great. Clothed monkeys even better. And I thought the MacGyver MasterCard ad was cool.

Super Bowl XL was the highest-rated game in 10 years. It shows the power of the NFL< which doesn't have to rely on big-market teams to draw viewers. Unlike baseball or basketball.

I thought the Stones might be censored during "Start Me Up". They were.

Exercise Yard

A definite highlight was the introduction of all of the Super Bowl MVPs. But where were Bradshaw and Montana? Bradshaw says he wanted to spend time with his family. Seriously, I heard Terry on the radio earlier in the week and I think his meds were off. Montana, on the other hand, apparently held out for $100,000. If true, that is unbelievable. I can't fathom that both of these NFL greats would pass up on this tribute and take a huge hit to their reputations because of money.

Visitor

61 Across: Netman Lendl (4 letters) Answer: Ivan

Yippee, today is Super Bowl Sunday, America's National Holiday (or should be). The game is secondary to all the social activity that takes place, especially since it doesn't involve the Browns. For the XLth time. It's the type of day you wake up talking to yourself. Muttering things like "65 Toss Power Trap", "I guarantee we'll win the game." and "Ya feelin' me?". By far, the best day of the year if you love football. And I do.

I keep getting sucked in by the NFL Network and NFL Films stuff leading up to the game. I heard Terry Bradshaw say if he could ask anything of God, it would be one more time to give him the ball with two minutes to go, three timeouts left, and get in that huddle with everyone's eyes as wide as saucers to hear him call the play. I start getting chills. Happens every time. I am an idiot.

Game Predictions:

Heath Miller scores the first TD.

I will attempt a Mick Jagger imitation and it may not be at halftime.

John Madden will say something that makes zero sense. Madden Proposition Bets!

I will drink beer.

The parents of Jerome Bettis will be shown 6 times.

I will sing "Sweet Shaun Alexander" to the tune of "Sweet Home Alabama", a current Seattle song, during the game. "Thirty-seven jersey blue".

I will make a comment about Brooke Burke.

Pittsburgh wins, 27-13.

Meal of Links

JB is leaving Fox's pre-game show. It's musical chairs. Greg Gumbel goes back to play-by-play, where he should re-team with Phil Simms, one would hope. Bonnie Bernstein leaves CBS. Al Michaels probably goes to NBC, where Andrea Kremer ends up.

From the "No shit?" files: Oddly enough, the Super Bowl Squares that pay off the most are 7 and 0. I won one with the Bears a while back because of a safety.

We eat a lot during the Super Bowl.

All of today's Super Bowl XL Proposition Bets. I like "Will there be a score in the first 6:27?" and "over/under on how long the first punt will be". Answers: No and longer than 41.5.

Exercise Yard

Went to the Cavs-Sixers game last night. I got to bask in the glory of the play of Allen Iverson. I love A.I. and he came through for me. He had missed some games lately and he is just so tough. He only had 34 points. Even Chris Webber contributed last night and Sam Dalembert cane through with a nice game. LeBron had 31 of the quietest points you'll ever see. Quite the amazing player.

Things only I would note:

I spoke with Mark Shapiro before teh game. Not the Indians guy, but the cameraman.

Nice touch by having a youth introduce both teams last night. It saved us from Ronnie Duncan, but it really is a cool idea. I've seen that at San Francisco Giants games and it's a blast to get the kids involved. And he did a helluva job.

The little girls love Anderson Varejao. As soon as he gets off the bench, it's Beatlemania with all of the screaming. I believe it was a Strongsville contingent behind us that got all hot and bothered.

There is a tall white guy on the Cavs. I have not one clue who he might be. Not sure I want to know.

The female ref is still in the league. And she's still bad.

Remember when Dorfman's picture came on the screen in "Animal House" and everyone threw stuff at it and booed? Well, Jim Tressel is the anti-Dorfman. He shows up on the scoreboard and the place goes nuts. Not sure what he said, but it was another excuse to play "O-H-I-O". Of course, I changed it to "A-I-Let's-Go".

Larry Hughes had a nice sportcoat on. After a timeout in which a sweaty Cav sat in his seat, I noticed him instruct an attendant to wipe his seat down. It made me laugh.

Redheaded Cavalier Girl is muy caliente.

Nice seats that Dan Gilbert put in at the Q. And notice how quiet he's been lately.

When Les, "The Beer Guy", comments on how good your seats are...well, that's affirmation, my friend. Last time we saw Les in action was at U2. Some random commented then that if you know the Beer Guy's name, you drink way too much.

"The Diff" confirms the dumbing down of America.

I realize the Scream Team has some talent. But if I had to choose between half-naked women dancing and a few young people doing outdated break dancing moves, I'll opt for scantily clad each time.

Hot dogs, and I had zero, are now $4.25 at the Q.

It started off loud before the game, but overall, I don't think it was that bad.

Visitor

None, it's Super Bowl Sunday.

I picked up my glasses today from the folks at Jerold Optical and what a difference. I can actually see and read! The bifocals are working and have opened up a whole new world to me. I must say, they look good and I got the cool magnetic shades, as well. As I walked in, Fun Frank is there with his new squeeze. What are the odds?

Time for another queuing story? Why not. I was at the P.O. today and of course, I'm there, so there's a line. I needed postcard stamps and needed to turn in a "Hold Mail" card. They have no hold cards up front, so I have to be bored while in line. And we have someone who was sending a package to Bratislava or some such place, while someone else is cashing money orders. Emphasis on plural. Then the next person has at least four or five stamps on two envelopes and still hasn't hit 39 cents. On one she has 37, the other 34. 34? How, in this century, do stamps add to 34? Are you kidding me?

Right before I was about to commit another postal shooting, it's my turn. I ask the woman for postcard stamps, she says they are in the machine. I ask her for a hold card, she says a woman who finally appears at her station, can help. By the time, I get there, another customer shows up. I ask her for a card and she says, "I'll be with you in a minute, while I help this man." Out of the corner of my eye (with my old glasses, mind you) I see hold cards, grab one, and tell the guy, "She couldn't even hand me a fuckin' card." So, I go to the lobby to fill out my card and to get my postcard stamps. Guess what? THE MACHINE WAS OUT OF ORDER! I thought to myself, "This is what a stroke must feel like." But I gathered myself and handed the card to Lenny (who is known for throwing a wastebasket at a customer...it was not me) and said, "Thank you, sir!". Then I drove away, in search of another line.

Meal of Links

Captain of the sunken Egyptian ferry thought that "Women and children first" was old school and decided "Every man for himself" had street cred attached to it.

Erin Crowe is through painting Alan Greenspan. Sells her last one for $150K.

A Bond director got arrested in a bizarre sex offense. He likeslatex and leather. Seems everyone knew it, but didn't know the transvestite side. To paraphrase Frank Costanza, "I find latex distracting."

Exercise Yard

The Football Hall of Fame inductees were announced. Michael Irvin's pot related bust cost him a spot this year. As predicted here, Troy Aikman, Reggie White, John Madden and Warren Moon got in. I didn't think Rayfield Wright would get in, and I'm very surprised Harry Carson got in. Maybe Harry will dump Gatorade on Madden.

Visitor

40 Down: Astronaut Deke (7 letters) Answer: Slayton

I like traditions as much as the next guy, but isn't Punxsatawney Phil and his act getting a bit old? Gee, 6 more weeks of winter. Never saw that comin'.

Wow. Big hats, cold weather, drunken crowd, scared groundhog. Must...turn...channel.

Meal of Links

Looks like the Mister Tony Experience might reach a bigger audience. I love his radio show on XM and it's my daily crossword accompaniment.

Speaking of Mister Tony, his old board op, Greg Garcia has hit the big time with "My Name Is Earl". The best new comedy on TV today.

The newest celebrity rage. Bonorge!












Does W. look like he's been Photoshopped into this pic? Or is he cardboard?

Exercise Yard

Until a few years a go, the Kentucky Derby offered the least purse amount of the Triple Crown races. Now they're sponsored. Yum!

Visitor

18 Down: Explorer Ponce de ____ (4 letters) Answer: Leon

What could possibly go wrong when you have a dinner scheduled with Best Friend and Co-Conspirator? Well, if you're a dumbass like me and forget your cellphone, you realize The Harp is closed for a private party for someone I will not vote for and alternate plans are made while I'm driving around Detroit-Shoreway looking for the drug guy's pay phone. So, we visited Great Lakes Brewing instead. Where the food is great and the beer is cold, so there you have it.

Oh, with this crowd, it is a struggle to win every debate, but I think I maintained my perfect record. Well, not really, as I think I'm the reverse Ripken. What did we learn? Pitt and Jolie (those lips, those eyes) aren't a very good subject for me. And I was actually told I was "too sophisticated" for not liking "Jackass: The Movie". My God, I loved "Transporter 2"! And I can also play "Flight of the Bumblebee" with my tongue, so I resent the implication of being labelled a sophisticate.

But Martha Davis soothed my feelings on the way home. As I got to sing that sophisticated tune, "Take the "L" out of lover, and it's over." They don't write 'em like that anymore. It's amazing I know that song from eons ago, but can't remember "Million Dollar Baby", an Oscar winner about boxing from last year, for cryin' out loud.

Meal of Links

Dateline: Toronto. Another battle between bikers and motorists. This one involves food! With photos.

Cindy Sheehan has become the latest attention whore. Listen, a House member gives you a ticket to the State of the Union. I mean that's gotta be a choice ticket, so respect the institution. It reminds me of Larry David buying a ticket from a scalper to get into temple. Anyhow, everyone knows you're in attendance. Why not sit there, absorb everything you hear, come out and face the media (like they would not find her afterward), and give the best anti-Bush commentary you can muster. In other words, quit making a scene. Any sympathy she may have gotten months ago has seriously eroded because of these ill-advised stunts.

Do you wanna party with the Queen? Not No-teeth-a, but the real one, in Britain. You know...for the kids.

Exercise Yard

OK, I admit it. Even though I'm sophisticated, Steeler Baby made me laugh.

Visitor

11 Down: Holden Caufield's creator (10 letters) Answer: J.D. Salinger