I picked up my glasses today from the folks at Jerold Optical and what a difference. I can actually see and read! The bifocals are working and have opened up a whole new world to me. I must say, they look good and I got the cool magnetic shades, as well. As I walked in, Fun Frank is there with his new squeeze. What are the odds?

Time for another queuing story? Why not. I was at the P.O. today and of course, I'm there, so there's a line. I needed postcard stamps and needed to turn in a "Hold Mail" card. They have no hold cards up front, so I have to be bored while in line. And we have someone who was sending a package to Bratislava or some such place, while someone else is cashing money orders. Emphasis on plural. Then the next person has at least four or five stamps on two envelopes and still hasn't hit 39 cents. On one she has 37, the other 34. 34? How, in this century, do stamps add to 34? Are you kidding me?

Right before I was about to commit another postal shooting, it's my turn. I ask the woman for postcard stamps, she says they are in the machine. I ask her for a hold card, she says a woman who finally appears at her station, can help. By the time, I get there, another customer shows up. I ask her for a card and she says, "I'll be with you in a minute, while I help this man." Out of the corner of my eye (with my old glasses, mind you) I see hold cards, grab one, and tell the guy, "She couldn't even hand me a fuckin' card." So, I go to the lobby to fill out my card and to get my postcard stamps. Guess what? THE MACHINE WAS OUT OF ORDER! I thought to myself, "This is what a stroke must feel like." But I gathered myself and handed the card to Lenny (who is known for throwing a wastebasket at a customer...it was not me) and said, "Thank you, sir!". Then I drove away, in search of another line.

Meal of Links

Captain of the sunken Egyptian ferry thought that "Women and children first" was old school and decided "Every man for himself" had street cred attached to it.

Erin Crowe is through painting Alan Greenspan. Sells her last one for $150K.

A Bond director got arrested in a bizarre sex offense. He likeslatex and leather. Seems everyone knew it, but didn't know the transvestite side. To paraphrase Frank Costanza, "I find latex distracting."

Exercise Yard

The Football Hall of Fame inductees were announced. Michael Irvin's pot related bust cost him a spot this year. As predicted here, Troy Aikman, Reggie White, John Madden and Warren Moon got in. I didn't think Rayfield Wright would get in, and I'm very surprised Harry Carson got in. Maybe Harry will dump Gatorade on Madden.

Visitor

40 Down: Astronaut Deke (7 letters) Answer: Slayton