So, I'm back from Hawaii and slowly getting in touch with the real world. I went to brunch at Johnny Mango to get in the NEO mode. They have a brunch on all Holidays.

But news does travel across the Pacific, so I know that Dick Cheney went on a shooting spree and Albert Belle was stalking an ex-girlfriend. The problem is nobody cares, because you are in Hawaii. It's like "Hey, Cheney shot some guy, let's go to the beach." Although, the weathermen treat the threat, mind you, the mere threat of rain, as Tanchak would treat a snowflake. With panic. Very strange. We decided most people stick their heads out the window to figure it out.

Hawaii was great, BTW. Here is where all of us stayed. The owner lived next door and was a bit of a character. But it was roomy and was close to the beach and convenient to most everything.

Trip didn't start so well as Best Friend not only spilled most of a diet soda on me, but also vomited on me (motion sickness) during the ride over. Then the first step outside happens and a light shower comes down. But it was great weather for the most part and we did all the things you are supposed to do. And we ate well, oh yes we did. First thing we did was sign up for the FoodLand card to get cheaper stuff, because it's kinda expensive, although I'm sure you knew that.

Places we visited for chow:

Haleiwa Joe's. I had the blackened cajun-grilled ahi sammie.

Panda Cuisine for one helluva dim sum.

Ocean House at Waikiki. I had Wok Fried Crab Cakes, a Lobster Skewer and a whole fish that I think was moi, but maybe something else. Really good.

Romy's Shrimp Truck. A definite stop on the way to the North Shore. And a steal. I had the spicy. It doesn't look like much, but it's great.

Ted's Bakery. This has landmark status on the North Shore. Lots of surfer traffic. But they have the best chocolate haupia pie, which we did not have. We opted for, get this, Pineapple Macadamia Nut Cheesecake. Omigod. A beautiful piece of bakery.

Dave's Ice Cream. I went to the Waimanalo location for some Banana Fudge. Coma set in 15 minutes later.

And we did all the touristy stuff. The Pro Bowl, but the game sucked. The North Shore. A really incredible place where you can eat like a pig, see Botanical Gardens, go in the water with real live turtles. Pearl Harbor, which is, on one hand pretty solemn, but also incredibly interesting to me. The drive around Diamond Head with the blowhole was pretty cool. That whole drive, the "scenic route" to Waikiki from the east is full of places to stop. The Ala Moana shopping mall is another place loaded with stores. I even stopped at the Lush store to pick up a couple of items.

All in all, a great time. I didn't drink that much, either. Only every day I was there. Our group was 0-for-1 on sunsets and 1-for-6 on sunrises (I was the only one to make Day One's attempt and I was late by 5 minutes. Everyone on the beach told me how great it was. We saw one on Friday. Thankfully.) because of the clouds.

Flights in both directions landed an hour early. No leis off the plane, unless you are in a tour group. Coming back was brutal. I cannot sleep on a plane and fidgeted for 7 hours. Then, after a 5-hour layover, the flight from Chicago to here was delayed because they didn't know how to handle the largest motorized wheelchair I had ever seen. We took off about an hour late while we sat on the plane for that deal.

Meal of Links

Of course, I have seen some of the Olympics. I wonder what happened to that guy with the cowbell who always used to be at the starting gate for the alpine skiing events. I wanna be that guy. Or the other guy up there who used to scream, "Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai!" Have you seen that Short Track chaos? Or what about that Chinese pair that skated to "Kashmir"? That was a jolt. The coolest was that snowboarding one with four of them out there at once. That was nuts. Here is where to check the results. The time difference in Hawaii leads to around-the-clock coverage. They delay their primetime coverage to their primetime. After Lampley does his late night thing, you can switch over to USA or MSNBC and their live coverage for the next day is not delayed, so you can immediately pick it up again.

NBC tells some websites to stop playing "Lazy Sunday" from SNL. That sucks. Double True.

Curt Gowdy died. I always liked Curt, even though many people thought he rooted for the Bengals when they played the Browns. When I went to Miami, all the Bengals fans told me he rooted for the Browns. So, he must have been good.

Exercise Yard

Andy Murray. Britain's newest star.

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