I'm going to be on hiatus for some house and technology issues, but just for a short while. I'm pointing toward June 9 as a restart day, but might be back a day or two sooner.

While at work today, the topic of Greenwich, CT, came up. Of course, that led to a discussion about the "Mean Street Posse", which I think remains one of wrestling's funniest gimmicks. A bunch of sweater-vested guys who grew up on the "mean streets" of Greenwich! Anyhow, that resulted in finding this clip, which chronicles the Posse trying to get the Hardcore Title (remember the title was on the line 24/7) from Crash Holly. It's not just that they seek Holly out in his hotel room, at the airport, or at Fun Time USA, it kills me that the ref accompanies them just in case they pin Holly at these various locales.



Meal of Links

With summer around the corner, why not try a beerita. And the occasional Shandy will do you good with all of its lemony goodness.

Amy Winehouse won a songwriting award for "Rehab". I really like that song. It's Jewtastic!

Jones Soda will be poured at all events at Qwest Field in Seattle, including Seahawk games. They will be the only NFL stadium not to serve Coke or Pepsi. Let's hope they do not bring out the Turkey and Gravy flavor for their Thanksgiving week game. Still waiting for Cherikee Red at Jacobs Field.

A tip of the hat to the "hearty entrees" and "friendly staffers" at Alesci's from Scene Magazine's C-Notes Blog.

Exercise Yard

While the Cavs were frittering away a third quarter lead this evening, I saw Casey Blake triple with the bases loaded. I immediately made plans to purchase lottery tickets.

The Cavs played a so-so first quarter and an excellent second quarter to have an 12-point lead at the half. Then they only scored 13 points in the third (with a three in the final minute from both Gibson and Marshall), a recurring problem. Halftime adjustments not their forte.

Cavs had a 69-65 lead in the 4th, only to turn it over 5 times in a row, giving up nine points. Thought that was gonna be it, but then it got even uglier as the Cavs lost, 79-76, for the second straight game. A game where Detroit had one basket in the final five minutes and the Cavs tallied an abysmal 26 points in the second half.

Observations:

The refs are refusing to call fouls both ways and that's why the scoring is down. Easily five fouls per team could result in 10 more points and it is not happening.

Guard play is terrible, thus far. For both teams.

Chris Webber is sitting during crunch time.

Anderson Varejao seems to be the most active guy on the court.

The Cavs are not pushing the ball up as much as I would like.

The Cavs use of timeouts was really bad in this game.

Visitor

63 Across: Nine Inch Nails founder Reznor (5 letters) Answer: Trent

I'm mad I saw Casey Blake whiff with the bases loaded tonight.

I'm mad I go to watch "Seinfeld" at 7:30, only to find it pre-empted for some insipid "American Idol" red carpet show. They are handing out too many red carpets these days. Will they have one for Big Chuck's retirement show?

I'm mad that I go to watch the replay of the Champions League Final on ESPN2 after the "Seinfeld" debacle, only to find Roger Clemens pitching in some minor league game. WTF? Ravech, Kruk and Uncle Petey are calling the game from the studio. Ugh!

I'm mad that as I drift to the Yankees-Red Sox game, Berman refers to Jason Giambi as "forthcoming". That was a huge WTF? The guy never copped to steroids, still hasn't explained his illness a while back, and admitted to "taking some stuff" recently. Yup, the new Honest Abe wears pinstripes.

I'm mad that National City Bank sent me a coupon where I get a free complimentary plane fare when I buy one. They fail to mention the price of said paid fare is at an extortionist's rate. The back of the coupon basically says if you can find a better fare elsewhere, go for it. Thanks, NCB.

I'm mad that Cleveland State wants to upgrade their locker room facilities. Hey, I see nothing wrong with that. But who wants to pay $5,000 ($2,500 for two years) to have naming rights to someone's locker? "See, Junior, the guy who never plays uses a locker that I sponsor." "Gee, Pops, you're a damn fool."

I'm mad gas prices are as high as they are. At Sheetz, gas ($3.39/gallon), a steak salad, and a caffiene-free Diet Pepsi was over $30. Get those refineries moving.

I'm mad at the Democrats for caving on this latest war bill. Stop the war. It's that simple. Do your job.

I'm mad that the latest Sudoku gave me trouble. And that was the biggest WTF of the day.

Meal of Links

The only reason I mention "The View" today is that I find myself siding with Elisabeth, for once. I am tired of people on the tube spouting crap and basically going unchecked. And it's just not this show. ESPN's "Baseball Tonight" is also suffering from that syndrome, as this post points out terrifically. Matter of fact, on ESPNews tonight, John Kruk said that A-Rod's slide into the Red Sox second baseman last night was a dirty play. Orel Hershiser rightly pointed out that that guy had slid hard into Derek Jeter earlier in the game. Didn't necessarily put Kruk in his place, but at least Orel used a fact when giving his take.

This guy went to see Steely Dan at the Beacon last night. Something about the phrase "boneable backup singer" got my attention.

See, I saved you how many weeks of watching "Dancing With The Stars". Apolo Anton Ohno wins. Never in doubt.

Exercise Yard

When I was a wee lad, Howard Porter was one of the first college hoops stars I came to know. He's had a rough go lately and might not make it.

Visitor

9 Down: Controversial 2006 Tour de France winner Floyd (6 letters) Answer: Landis

I think I was at the worst promotion ever last night at Jacobs Field. Gale and I attended the remake of the Opening Day snowout last night against Seattle. The Indians tried to bring up all the snow references once again and it was pretty obvious the fans really did not want to participate.

Paid crowd was about 38,000. The PD estimated 10,000, a planted number from the Indians front office. Our estimate was about 4,000, the emptiest I've seen the place for a scheduled game. There may have been worse crowds by attrition during a game affected by weather or lateness, but that was awful.

Some of the wintry things they tried: an ice sculpture, fake snow falling above the entrance, 20,000 coupons good for 10 days for a McFlurry, complimentary sno-cones. Abysmal marketing efforts included many game replays from Opening Day, a game that still doesn't count, remember? The worst part was the giveaways. Clearly the Indians were understaffed, therefore camera positions were at a premium. The first four prizes of ski trips and snowblowers were awarded to bleacher fans. The next was in 102, the next in 117. Our side of the field got nothing, as did much of the lower box area. The final insult was the daily Pizza Pan promotion which was held in the Club Seats, oddly enough where the next prize winner was seated only a few rows below those winners. Obviously, a camera needed to be there for both prizes, so they rigged it where fans get free pizza in a section where they already get free food and they decided while they were there to give away a snowblower. Or vice versa. Listen, I'm not bitter I didn't win, but tell me beforehand it that it's not random and things are decided by how easy it is on the staff. I can live with that, as long as I am told.

BTW, the Tribe won again.

Meal of Links

Those whales just love all that attention.























"Why couldn't you have made me an architect? You know I always wanted to pretend that I was an architect."

Some revisionist history going on here, as 40 albums reviewed by Rolling Stone get corrected. Props for Beck and a Devo album I bought at (ahem) Zayre's.

Web domains can make you rich. Ask this guy.

Exercise Yard

The Cavs lost last night in Game 1 of the conference finals. I was only able to see the last 14 minutes of the game. First shock was LeBron had only 4 points at the time, and Chauncey Billups from Detroit was not scoring either. But Rip Hamilton was.

Our guards shot 8-35 in the game. So, why is LeBron intent on making a game-winning assist, instead of a game-winning shot? I can't fathom why he did not take the last shot last night, relying on one of the Cavs most inconsistent shooters, Donyell Marshall, to win.

The disappointing part is that it was a winnable game. Especially for as badly as they played. It would have been nice to steal that one. The Cavs had the better fast break points, inside game, and look at Jason Maxiell's line in the box score. He does absolutely nothing for the Pistons in 13 minutes of play, except he somehow grabbed the biggest rebound in the game. That was tough to take.

Visitor

8 Down: '50s sci-fi monster (5 letters) Answer: Rodan

I went over to Lowe's today to take care of my mulching needs. I wound up this excursion by getting something from Scotts called "Color Enhanced Mulch". This stuff claims that other mulch turns gray within a month, but this stuff will still be the same color one year from now. I considered rubbing it into my hair, but thought better of it.

Meal of Links

The Cleveland Marathon and all of it's associated races were run this a.m. But a cop sent some 10K runners in the wrong direction. Those folks ended up running an extra 2.5 miles. How does that happen?

The Floyd Landis doping case really turned bizarre this week. Especially with an appearance by Greg Lemond that was supposed to say Landis admitted he doped and no comments about Lance Armstrong, but morphed into Lemond admitting he was sexually abused as a youngster and that someone in Landis' camp had threatened to go public with that info. Although, that is where the spotlight now shines, instead of original doping allegations. But that's what happens when you have a sport that is so entwined with doping. All the stars are falling by the wayside, after the latest round of investigations.

Michael Moore takes on healthcare in "Sicko".

Exercise Yard

Last night was a contrast in fighting styles by middleweights on HBO. The first, a slugfest by two up-and-comers. The second, in the words of Jim Lampley, a "dreadful" outing. And that one was the title bout.

We now have a NE Ohio fighter who is getting some deserved national attention, middleweight Kelly "The Ghost" Pavlik from Youngstown. Last night was his biggest test to date, the KO artist from Colombia, Edison "Pantera" Miranda. My God, a fight where there were actual punches being thrown. Pavlik took it to Miranda from the opening bell, backing him up and easily winning the first two rounds. Miranda looked like he figured something out in round three and his workrate increased. Lemme tell you, they were trading bombs the whole time, with Pavlik going to the wrong corner after that one. Pavlik then dripped blood from his nose the rest of the fight, while Miranda was getting hit with everything and his eyes were starting to close by the fifth. Pavlik knocked Miranda down twice in the sixth, and the ref finally ended it in the seventh, with Miranda really unable to do anything. This should set up a title bout for Pavlik, a fight I cannot wait for.

Why? Because I do not like the current champ, Jermain Taylor. Last night, he
took on Cory Spinks, and this bout blew hard. I cannot remember a fight this boring in a long time. Spinks, of course, had the live rapper for his entrance, and there was more action in his dancing on the way in than the fight had. Taylor just didn't throw punches. By the seventh, Taylor's trainer, Emmanuel Steward, got out from his usual friendly HBO commentator persona, and pleaded with Taylor to throw punches, cussing up a storm and basically leaving the ring early between the 11th and 12th rounds. His main theme was he had an opponent who was running and couldn't hurt him, therefore, cut the ring off and hit him. He didn't do it. It was the second ugly fight in a row for Taylor, who really doesn't want Pavlik, and Larry Merchant got him to admit he'll fight not the best opponent, but the one that'll get him the most cash. I think that was his already limited fan support leaving the building after that comment. Wouldn't surprise me if Steward quits the Taylor camp, Taylor moves up to fight Joe Calzaghe, and Pavlik somehow gets screwed in all of this. I mean, it is boxing.

Oh, there was also controversial scoring in the Taylor-Spinks fight. The first score was read 111-107, in favor of Spinks. My first thought was the judge scored a zero for Taylor in the 12th. Then in a WTF, Lamps said the judge had it 117-111 for Spinks, and if that was the case, the man should never judge a professional fight ever again. It concluded a strange night for HBO. It was a small, late-arriving crowd in Memphis, and not enthusiastic at all. Then, the heavily promoted Taylor does nothing for me. Hell, I still think Winky Wright beat him. So, they are stuck with a champ that most people do not like. Meanwhile, the fight on the undercard was infinitely more interesting than the title bout itself.

Lots of room on the Pavlik bandwagon. Get in early.

Visitor

None, it's a cloudy Sunday.

Quick Preakness pick, fairly standard issue. Go with the trifecta of:

Street Sense
Circular Quay
Hard Spun

The Cavs beat the Nets to move into the conference finals for the third time in their history. Last time was 1992, and I think they went out in five games that year.

Big game from Donyell Marshall with 18 points. That game was shaky as the Cavs had a 22-point lead at one time, that was cut to one during an abysmal third quarter. Oh, that was the quarter that LeBron had to sit while in foul trouble. But they righted the ship with help from the bench, and turned it around in the fourth for the win.

My concern about the Pistons series is the guard matchups. I am not confident at all that Sacha Pavlovic can guard Rip Hamilton. And Chauncey Billups poses some problems, as well. Don't underestimate Sheed either. His ability to step out and hit the long jumper mirrors the problems we had with Mikki Moore in the Nets Series. And he's got longer range. I'd love to see the Cavs do it, but I think Detroit takes it in 5.

Meal of Links

Creed Thoughts

This movie about Ian Curtis looks good to me. I must go.

What the hell happened to Dr. Phil? A ratings tumble plus a tumble toward Springerville.

The psychology behind banner ads. Apparently, the more you see a product in a banner ad format, the more kindly you act toward that product.

Exercise Yard

The FA Cup was a bit of a dull affair. Chelsea beats ManU, 1-0, and I can now take a break from soccer for a bit.

The new Wembley looks good, though.

Visitor

34 Across: Penneys and others (3 letters) Answer: JCs

What a strange day today. I get my auto registration renewal in the mail today and promptly rip the envelope while opening it, tearing the enclosure in the process. Oops. Is that a bad thing? I have to tape it back together, I guess. Which will cause problems next year, no doubt, because I have to get a new picture on my license. Is it too early to be worried about next year's renewal already?

Then I burned a portion of my dinner. Black beans and rice, 25 minutes on low, like a thousand times before. Not medium, you idiot. Oh, did that smell.

Hey, I've been neglecting this year's Senior Olympics recap. My Dad, once again, a proud participant. Two medals this year. A bronze in bowling (it's in the genes) and a silver in the beanbag toss. That feat consists of tossing a beanbag into a bucket. Off the record, that seems easy to me, but what the hell. That more than makes up for a Potsie Weber-like performance in basketball. Remember the episode where Potsie's shots went over the backboard. I guess he struggled to even hit the backboard. Also, eliminated in shuffleboard, darts, billiards, and the triathlon. The triathlon seemed interesting to me and I asked if the three phases were standing, walking and breathing. No, it consisted of kicking a soccer ball, shooting a hockey puck and in his words "something else".

Anyhow, that performance allowed him to carry the Brooklyn sign (like the real Olympics, except there wasn't a vote from his peers, someone handed it to him) around the room as the medal winners paraded in for lunch. I understand the lunch was good. They feed those seniors well. And Wayne Dawson dropped in as the speaker of the day. So, all was good this May.

Meal of Links

OK, the look on Pammy's face at the end of "The Office" tonight was a nice payoff to finish the season. It looks like the JAM crowd is back on DEFCON 1. "Creed's Thoughts" made me laugh, too. I wish every week was an hour, so we can get more Creed. I love Creed.

They sold a Warhol for $71 million last night. That would buy lots of soup cans.

Elijah Wood is gonna play Iggy Pop in a biopic. OK, that is gonna take one hell of a transformation for me to buy into that one. Mister Frodo with his shirt off, spreading oil and peanut butter over himself and walking like a chicken? I do not see it.

Exercise Yard

I see Paul Shirley's book finally came out this week. He was the journeyman hoops player who started blogging on the Phoenix Suns website two years ago and everyone discovered how insightful he was. He's conversing on Slate this week.

Visitor

4 Down: Major League Baseball Players Association director (4 letters) Answer: Fehr

I hear Jerry Falwell died today. So, I'm zipping through the dial at 9:00 and there is Dead Pool choice Tammy Faye on the phone with Larry King (Schenectady, New York!) giving her two cents about it. Hey, she sounded pretty good for 66 pounds. She goes out every day, even if it's for an hour and her voice sounded fairly strong for someone getting hospice at home. She said she was in a restaurant this afternoon when she heard. If she's 66 pounds, what the hell does she eat?

More on the Rev. Falwell.

Meal of Links

We have Bowie videos! Be sure to flip to Part 2, too. Excellent selections. An early live version of "White Light, White Heat" kicks major ass. (Check the heels!). I love his stroll through Berlin on "DJ". That's when the Thin White Duke weighed about what Tammy Faye does now. You have to watch "Fashion". Great tune and G.E. Smith is in it. The alternate version of "Blue Jean" is a rare one, give that a look. "This Is Not America" has Peyton Manning, I mean, Sean Penn clips in it. Whoever compiled this did a great job. It's hard to find some of these songs, let alone the quality.

Well, CBS booted "Class". I watched that. ABC booted the "Knights of Prosperity". I watched that. But "Cavemen" is on.

Get a copy of the latest Vanity Fair, if you can. Sometimes you unexpectedly find the most amazing things to read on subjects you didn't think were worthy. Nick Tosches piece on the history of sushi was one of those articles.

Exercise Yard

The latest NBA controversy is about the Suns-Spurs game last night. Robert Horry went from "Big Shot Bob" to "Cheap Shot Bob" with one hip-check into the boards on Canadian Steve Nash.

Boris Diaw and Amare Stoudemire left the Suns bench after the hit and you just can't do that. Letter of the NBA law says you get a suspension when you do that, and yes, they got one today. Stoudemire pulled the old , "Hey, I was just going over to report into the game." excuse. He must think Bud Selig runs that league.

Visitor

65 Across: "Need You Tonight" rock group (4 letters) Answer: INXS

This business about smoking in the movies bugs me. I can't believe we've arrived at a point where the amount of smoking in a movie may result in a harsher rating. As I said the other day, some of those old Bogart films would have garnered an NC-17, because of heavy smoking.

Next time you're watching a film or something on the tube, watch how many people wear a seat belt. Maybe that should determine a rating.

Meal of Links

I have really tried to ignore those David Blaine ads for the NBA playoffs. But I can't. They stink.

Bruce Campbell for Old Spice, singing "Hungry Like The Wolf". Now that's funny.



More Blaine. He's gonna jump off the Brooklyn Bridge. Doesn't seem hard.

It's the NBC fall lineup. Lots of unscripted shows at 8:00. They seem to be punting a lot.

Exercise Yard

OK, how did the Cavs win that game? I guess it was the Nets scoring only three baskets in the fourth quarter. I hate to say it, because I'm bullish on LeBron, but Michael would have never missed those crucial fourth quarter foul shots.

But, it's 3-1, with Game 5 here on Wednesday. Let's make it a quick one again.

Visitor

11 Down: Longtime Miss USA pageant host (9 letters) Answer: Bob Barker

A Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms.

Jack Cust? Again? They are starting to call him "The Natural". Six homers in his first seven games. I turned that Tribe game off in the top of the ninth, sure they would win. Oops.

Meal of Links

You can sue for just about anything, I suppose. A girl is suing the Chicago BOE because a substitute teacher showed "Brokeback Mountain" and it caused her psychological distress. Poppycock, I say. Try having a guy next to you hum "You Are My Sunshine" while waiting to see that movie. That's distress.

Trent Reznor says no wonder people steal music. Current disc sells in Australia for $29.10 US.

George Carlin quotes. Some of them are just old jokes, but some are really funny. "Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter." That makes me laugh really hard.

Exercise Yard

The EPL ended today with Sheffield United the last team to be relegated. It's a shame, because Neil Warnock, their coach, is a great quote. Only 91 days before they crank it up again.

Visitor

None, it was a sunny Sunday.

I had not been to Luchita's in quite a while. Gale and I headed over to the one in North Royalton and they had a patio. But before we went out there, we were at the small bar where they keep stuffing you with chips and salsa. They have small bowls, but they keep them filled. And they are quite irresistible. Especially when accompanied with Bohemia beer. The cerveza once described as "bueno" in a incident from long ago.

Outside, while I had the obligatory margarita, we heard the oddest tune. They have XM piped in. But it was a Hispanic version of "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" that was striking. It sounded as if they also had Bono sampled on the chorus. I don't know who sang it. After all those chips though, I went a la carte. The beef burrito was really good. Plain as could be and a bit salty, but it hit the spot.

Meal of Links

"Planet Earth" on Discovery in HD, makes that technology appear worth it when you watch. It's amazing. And now it's available on DVD.

Here are some inspirational posters from "Star Trek". Ensign Ricky is wearing red. That's gonna end badly for him.

Panaromas are cool. There are ones from all over the world here, but none further west of New York.

Exercise Yard

This Donald Trump-Mark Cuban feud isn't new. As near as I can figure, it started a while ago, when Cuban said Trump snubbed him, or talked down to him, at a gathering many years ago. Then Trump got after him about their respective TV shows and it's been on ever since.

Visitor

48 Down: "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" band (4 letters) Answer: AC/DC

Wow, who knew that Cingular is now AT&T? Hadn't heard that lately. And speaking of ads, Elvis Costello for Lexus? Or just the sound system in a Lexus? Either way, I was taken aback by that. BTW, he is doing a live webcast on Monday after the Letterman show tapes.

I think I set the record for ordering an item on the Internet. I had free 1-day shipping from Zappos. I needed to get some new Borns. So, at 8:00 on Tuesday night, I ordered them. And I got them the next day. That's a PB (Personal Best) for me. OK, I guess it was free overnight shipping and it got here overnight. Still, that was fast.

Meal of Links

What's this? The "Knights of Prosperity" might return with Ray Romano as the intended victim. Not bad, he'll be on more than Jagger was. Mick was funny, but hardly ever on.

They sell lots of stuff on eBay. But who knew you could buy Mexican Immigrants and Jews there? How do leave feedback on that? BTW, I just bought Fusion blades for a ridiculously low price on eBay.

It's this year's bikini guide. That's the educational part of today's musings.

Exercise Yard

Dale Earnhardt, Jr. announced he was leaving DEI at the end of the year. This is big in the world of racing. It's big because Junior is, by far, the most popular NASCAR driver. He is so popular he never has to mention his sponsors. Hell, even Jeff Gordon has to do that. Watch him next time, he rarely mentions the Bud car or number 8 at all.

With him being a free agent, the most likely prospects would be Hendrick Racing, the home of Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson. Or RCR, where Dale Earnhardt, Sr. ran the #3. No one runs the #3 these days, so wouldn't that be something if they put Junior in that car. Hey, Joe Gibbs Racing might be a coll place to land, too.

Look for mega dollars thrown his way.

Visitor

48 Across: Yippies cofounder Hoffman (5 letters) Answer: Abbie

Diego "Chico" Corrales has died. A motorcycle accident in Las Vegas claimed him. His fight with Jose Luis Castillo in 2005 was epic. It easily ranks as one of the best fights of all-time. No shit, a fight in the 21st century was that great. Sadly, exactly two years later, he's dead.



















With both guys failing to make weight in the last year, Castillo will fight Ricky Hatton next month, while Corrales also had to move up to welterweight and just last month was defeated by Joshua Clottey. He was one of the few guys in boxing who exhibited heart. Many talk about it, he really displayed it in the ring. It's sad that his better boxing days were behind him, but he was only 29 and that's way too young to leave.

Meal of Links

Band Madness is down to the Final Four. I mean, how do you realistically pick from David Bowie vs. The Beatles and Led Zeppelin vs. Pink Floyd?

What would you rather do this year?

Office Fest 2007 or Lebowski Fest or
the Dean Martin Festival with Dennis Farina?

We get it. Gas is expensive. But quit sending those "Boycott Gas E-Mails". It doesn't work unless we all ride bikes. And that ain't gonna happen. Sorry, Al.

Exercise Yard


















Uh-oh, SI jinx be damned. Grady Sizemore makes the cover of SI. In a week of Mayweather-de la Hoya and the Kentucky Derby, that says a lot.

Visitor

10 Down: Soccer icon Mia (4 letters) Answer: Hamm

I was at Damon's today for lunch. Mainly, to catch a few innings of the Tribe game. Go Fausto. But their Flame-Grilled Steak Salad is a keeper. I can't believe how good that is. I don't go there often, but it's a lunch I keep ordering. I thought the picture of that Angus-Kobe Santa Fe Salad looked good, too. Then I remembered how food never looks like its picture.

Meal of Links

This is the last Spiderman nugget for a while. Here are more tie-ins, but it's this Comcast commercial that hits all the right buttons for me.



Looks like Ty had an extreme hangover. He is like Elvis though. He's everywhere.

Finally, we have proof. TV shows made into movies suck and they do bad box office. Although, I did like "Dragnet". Especially Dabney Coleman as Jerry Caesar, the publisher of "Bait" magazine. "Reverend, you've got balls as big as church bells."

Exercise Yard

My year spent with the EPL is winding down this Sunday, with all games starting at the same time to avoid hanky-panky. Manchester United has clinched the Premiership title, rendering this Wenesday's Chelsea match unimportant. They are owned by the Glazer family, owners of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Randy Lerner's other team, Aston Villa, has actually played well recently. They have not lost in their last eight matches. And they have a new crest and Nike is making their new unis.

Those relegated include Watford and Charlton. There is one spot left between Wigan, West Ham, and Sheffield United. Wigan visits Sheffield United and West Ham is at Manchester United. It's a big step to stay in the Premiership next season, because the new TV deal means mega dollars. If you play in the Championship in 2007-08, you get 1 million pounds. In the Premiership, you get 30 million pounds (almost $60 million). Just in case you were wondering why Randy Lerner would buy a soccer club.

Visitor

26 Across: Funnyman Philips (3 letters) Answer: Emo

In the words of Roberto de Vicenzo, "I am such a stupid." I wanted desperately to watch the de la Hoya-Mayweather fight last night. I have this renegade TV viewer from China or some other outpost that allows me to watch soccer and other sports online and I figured I could find the fight somewhere. So this thing has server trouble and I had to get the fight via PPV. Naturally near fight time the damn thing works and I do find the fight. I could have seen it for free. Bah!

C'mon, would the Queen do this? Even if it is Will Farrell.


















Celebrities in attendance: Michael Jordan, Eddie Murphy, Jay-Z, Denzel Washington, Tommy Lasorda, John Madden, Magic Johnson, J-Lo and Marc Anthony, Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy, Eva Longoria and Mario Lopez (WTF and boy, did he look happy), Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire, a clothed Matthew McConaughey, Sean "Puffy" Combs, Usher, Mary J. Blige, John McCain, Will Farrell, Helen Mirren, Ron Howard, Johnny Cusack, Jack Nicholson, Tom Jones, Wesley Snipes, Al Michaels.

BTW, Oscar's wife, Millie, has the prettiest green eyes.





















Mayweather's ring entrance was hilarious and was a tribute to what Uncle Roger, his trainer, used to do. He came to the ring wearing a sombrero, had on trunks like the Mexican flag, and his seconds had shirts that read "Mexico Loves Mayweather" on the front, "Mayweather Loves Mexico" on the back. The final insult to Oscar. An added twist was that 50 Cent rapped live while accompanying him to the ring. Oscar's entrance was more sedate, but the crowd was 90% in his favor, so he didn't have to try. "Las Vegas Loves Oscar".

The fight did not live up to the hype, but how could it. It was the most expensive sparring session ever. Basically, it was two guys who are great tacticians, so it was a very defensive fight. Neither fighter was in trouble at all during the fight. Not even close to any knockdowns. Mayweather would come in, throw a punch, get back out. But he landed at an awfully high percentage. Oscar's best punch was his jab, which for some unknown reason, he discarded in the late rounds. He did not connect with a left hook until the waning seconds of the 12th.

The fight was mainly a lot of blocked punches by both guys, very little clinching, Mayweather popped in and out, Oscar would have one, maybe two flurries per round and while that looked good, he didn't do any damage. I scored it 115-113 for Mayweather (winning Rounds 10, 11 and 12, as Oscar faded) and that was close to the score of the judges who rendered a split decision for Mayweather.

After the fight, Mayweather mentioned that "he felt blessed by God." Then he took it one step further, as usual, and said, "and God doesn't make mistakes." That made me laugh. I'm sure God had some bets down on Floyd. Mayweather says he'll retire. Don't believe it. Oscar says he'll wait and see. Don't believe it. I thought before the fight he'd go out like Elway, I didn't think it would be like Sam Elway. So, he'll be back. I don't want to see a rematch though. People know they'll see the same thing again and will not pay.

Meal of Links

The saddest songs in the whole wide world. If you want fun though, listen to Tim Armstrong's "Into Action":



I can't get enough of that tune.

Have you seen this ad yet? It's "Year Round Tomatoes". But wait, there's more. Without a garden, grow them indoors!

Gas is at record levels. I went to Get-Go today to knock 40 cents off a gallon. I still paid $2.68 per.

Exercise Yard

As I said, Street Sense had the skills to break that BC Juvenile jinx and he did. He romped in the Kentucky Derby and was the highest-paid favorite ever at $11.80. Good ride from Calvin Borel, who stayed on the rail as long as he could and pressed the accelerator on the way in. Excellent run from the place horse, Hard Spun, who set the pace most of the way, finishing 2 lengths back, but 6 lengths in front of Curlin.

My choice, Circular Quay, was near Street Sense for a time. But he went to the right and encountered traffic trouble, finishing sixth. If you could not beat Street Sense at the Derby, I don't know how you can beat him in the Preakness. Oh, they'll talk about the shorter distance and the tight turns, as they always do. But this horse can rate and he won't be as far back next time, and with a much smaller field.

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None, it's a Sunday.

"That's not a vernacular. That's a Derby."

Finally, the greatest sports day of the year is here. Two sports that no one cares about except me take center stage today. It's the Kentucky Derby and Oscar de la Hoya and Floyd Mayweather, Jr. in the biggest fight in recent memory. Plus, it's Cinco de Mayo, too. Bueno.

Kentucky Derby

Do you know Arlington Park in Chicago has a Derbypalooza today? What do we get at Thistledown, face painting? The thing you notice right off the bat is how slow the Derby preps were run this year. Plus, we have some horses that are fighting history, others with long layoffs, a few who shouldn't be here, some wiseguy horses and some overlooked ones. Let's take a look.

Any Given Saturday is a Todd Pletcher-trained horse. Pletcher's record in the Derby, 0-14. This is the wiseguy horse, even though he's coming from post 18. Horse likes to lay back and finish with a kick. Gave Street Sense all he could handle at Tampa, but threw in a stinker in the Wood. Can't overlook him.

Circular Quay, another Pletcher trainee. Out of Thunder Gulch, a Derby winner. Already a million dollar winner. Coming off an 8-week layoff. That sounds insane. But Rags to Riches, a Pletcher filly, came off the same sort of layoff and won the Kentucky Oaks yesterday. Another late runner.

Curlin. Steve Asmussen trains. Has raced only three times as a three-year old and historically, that's betting death in this race. Later in the year, maybe, but not today.

Nobiz Like Shobiz is trained by Barclay Tagg, who also trained Derby-winner Funny Cide. Cannot win because Bruce Drennan would write a song about him. Oh, wait, he can't because "All Bets Are Off". Won the Wood, so don't overlook.

Scat Daddy is out of Johannesburg and trained by who else, Todd Pletcher. Pletcher has five horses entered today. Remember Johannesburg? He won the BC Juvenile a few years back. Anyhow, this is your Florida Derby winner. The knock is those times were slow, as he also won the Champagne and Fountain of Youth.

Street Sense is trained by Carl Nafzger, who also trained Unbridled, a Derby winner. Street Sense is out of Street Cry, a Dubai World Cup winner. Hard to knock this horse. He is trying to become the first Breeders Cup Juvenile winner at 2, to win the Derby at 3. Will be the favorite, as he can rate pretty good and make his move. Eventually, this jinx will go away and he has the skills. Haven't had a two-year old champ win the Derby since Spectacular Bid. Sunny's Halo was the last Derby winner to win off of only two preps. That's '79 and '83 if you're scoring at home, but a boatload of history to overcome.



















My pick: Circular Quay. I think we'll get a good price and Pletcher's unorthodox move worked for the Oaks, why can't it work today for the Derby?

The Last Great Fight

That's what the press is calling it. Let me tell you, I refuse to watch UFC, so if boxing's gonna die, well, I'm goin' down for the ten count with it. Floyd Mayweather is the favorite tonight, but Oscar de la Hoya has been gaining betting momentum this week. It reminds me of Super Bowls, where there tend to be clear cut favorites until the week before and people start dreaming. This is the largest box office for a live gate and has potential to be the biggest PPV in boxing history, surpassing Tyson-Holyfield II.

OK, who's gonna win?

Let's look at Oscar. Only 3 bouts in the last 3 years. But I always say, "Never underestimate Oscar at the lower weights." Tonight's bout is at 154, an ideal weight for him. Oscar is taller and will outweigh Mayweather, so he can use that reach. Big left hand from Oscar, too. He needs to cut off that ring, counterpunch and stick to business. I don't wanna see Oscar start strong and then quit in the later rounds, but that potential exists.

The unbeaten Floyd Mayweather, Jr. is the current golden goose in boxing. Everyone wants to fight him because they know they'll get the big payday. He came in at 150 and let's not forget he did most of his damage at 140. Superior handspeed is his strength, and that will be a problem for Oscar. He is very good at avoiding punches. Not the best when using his jab, leads with the power punch quite a bit. If he gets in and gets out, he can do some damage. But when he decides to come in, Oscar can time that and might be able to land some blows. I think Mayweather's style points to this being a long fight and will go the distance.



















My pick: Oscar de la Hoya, in an Elwayesque swan song.

Meal of Links

Someone paid $10 million for the General Lee. No wonder they hate us.

The 10 worst Spider-Man tie-ins. The underwear made me laugh. And speaking of spider sense, Spidey's was really lacking in this latest movie.

It's the annual all you ever wanted to know about Cinco de Mayo article. Have a cerveza today.

Hitch takes on God. Not Lou Dobbs, God.



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22 Down: Riddick took the title from him in 1992 (7 letters) Answer: Evander

OK, "Spider-Man 3" opens up with a Midnight showing, so off we go to the Regal in Middleburg Heights. Of course, jacked up by Diet Mountain Dew. Gale and I put the chaperone hats on, and were accompanied by Shaun, Kevin, Phil, Phil's girlfriend and some other youngin'. Tickets purchased early helped, because when I arrived at 11:30, they had a line for ticket holders that extended around the corner of the strip center. It was shown on multiple screens and you were assigned one at time of purchase. We had #4, which turned out to be great, as maybe only 25-30 people were in that one. So, it wasn't a mob scene and we dominated with 7 in our group. Kevin started at Crocker Park, before he realized we were several suburbs over from there, but made it in time for the start.

The movie itself was pretty good, not the greatest. Lots of love in the air. In the bathroom afterward, one guy asked, "How'd you like the musical?". BTW, if you're looking for Cleveland, pay attention to the movie. A glimpse here and there, but not much that you could tell. Maybe 30 seconds worth and that might be generous.

The movie was terrific from the standpoint of enough pauses in the dialogue to add your own commentary, and that added to the enjoyment. For instance, the James Franco character, the New Goblin, ends up in the hospital after a fight with Spidey. So, Peter Parker's out in the waiting room and the doctor tells him about the condition of his friend, etc. But as Kevin put it, he never says, "Hey, you know your friend, what's the get up with those rocket boots and that sorta Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtle outfit?". I mean no one seemed to mind. And when Spidey puts on that black alternate jersey, forget it. That means bad things are gonna happen.

And it seemed when the New Goblin and Spidey wanted to be mean, they would just scrunch up their nose and squint. Look for that in your daily life. Tobey Maguire would also have his hair parted differently and did some asinine strut that Peter Parker would think was cool, but was far from it.

Of course, as the most tortured of the superheroes, he had a lot of angst in this one. His life is falling apart, he's meaner, seeking revenge and on and on. Of course, the New Goblin wants to avenge his father's death and you have Flint Marko, aka the Sandman, running around. That means cool CG effects, lots of action, and people making choices, yes, choices, in the movie. It was so mushy near the end, Kevin and I had napkins to do the fake crying bit.

Maguire and Dunst and Franco were the same. Aunt May had a bigger part. Topher and Thomas Haden Church were decent enough as the villains. Bruce Campbell absolutely kills in a small part as the maitre'd at a French restaurant. Certainly not the best of the bunch, but it is Spidey, so you have to see it on the big screen.

Meal of Links

Elvis Costello reissued his early catalog again. This time, actually winding up on iTunes. About time.

David Byrne chats about the science of music. Lengthy, but worth the read.

Who knew that it was National Masturbation Month? The Masturbate-a-Thon heads, so to speak, to San Francisco near the end of the month. It's all for charity.

Exercise Yard

I think Mark Cuban's head is gonna splode. The Warriors beat the Mavs in an historic series, as a #8 beats a #1 in a seven-game series for the first time. Charley Rosen breaks it down.

Visitor

36 Across: "Stoned Soul Picnic" songwriter (4 letters) Answer: Nyro

I must have been excited to be at work yesterday, as my zipper broke within two seconds of getting there. Well, maybe not two seconds, but shortly after a bathroom visit. Ugh! You know, when your zipper breaks, you don't have lots of options for a fix. Oh yeah, you can try and fix it. After a few minutes, that's futile.

Then you go to Plan B. Plan B consists of untucking your shirt, that's a given. Then you have to find a method of securing your pants. That should take place in the form of safety pins. But try and find someone who has them! At first I had to rig a binder clip that worked. Finally, someone found one safety pin. One! So, I had to use that.

It also means you can't run errands at lunch. And, BTW, keep your lap covered at the drive-thru (it's not a pick-up window on those days) and at the toll booth on the turnpike. So, I was glad when the day ended.

Meal of Links

If you wondered what Exene Cervenka is doing, here's your chance. Nothing really earth shattering, she's just busy.

This is kind of neat. Why are things certain colors? Like red for stop, green for dollars, etc. No reason can be found for those orange Cavs jerseys, however.

I've mentioned this old coot running for President, Mike Gravel. He is pretty entertaining to listen to and I'm sure he will get maybe a 1,000 votes. He also wants to legalize marijuana. OK, with that, maybe he'll get 10,000 votes. But pay attention to him, you never hear politicans speak like that. Here's more of his background.

Exercise Yard

Gale and I were at the Tribe game this evening. It was kinda cold and this game threatened to become one of the longest games ever (4 hours and 17 minutes was bad enough). Wedgie, of course, overmanages by bringing Roberto Hernandez into the game in the sixth inning and the Blue Jays promptly tied it at 6. That matched John Gibbons, the Toronto manager, who used a pinch hitter and a pinch runner in the FIFTH inning. So, the baseball gods, for spite, made sure it went extra innings. The Indians won, 7-6, because Travis Hafner rolls one into left against his shift. Hah!

Had great seats behind home plate in 154. Where someone behind us asked one of the dumbest questions I've heard at a game. "Why is the fence in left field higher than the rest of the park?", Not sure if he was fishing for an answer such as "design flaw", but wow, that was dumb.

Visitor

16 Across: Ocasek of The Cars (3 letters) Answer: Ric