There are pluses and minuses to being an a pool that picks the winners of bowl games. You find yourself watching games you wouldn't ordinarily care about. But that allowed me to to see this sign: "UCF: The Harvard of the South" during Central Florida's win over Georgia. It may have been the same game (they all run together), but I also saw a QB spike the ball on the 7-yard line, after gaining a first down with 48 seconds in the first half. While he had TWO timeouts left! Ugh!

Since, we are getting close to the New Year, I had to settle on my Dead Pool picks for 201l. Lots of replacements. Because unless there is a strange happening where several diverse well-known people, not only get together, but die in the same place, it looks like I've won the 2010 edition.

So, while staving off some sort of weird cold I have, I decided to knock down some Jameson highballs to start the evening. Some steak and shrimp at hand, as well.

Meal of Links

Lifehacker has its Best of 2010 List. I find myself going to this site more often.

Wow, this guy looks like he'll win his case. Jeezy creezy, the cops kinda overstepped their authority there.

Hey, that's Hitch!

The 40 Drunkest Cities. 15. Toledo, 22. Cleveland, 35. Cincinnati.

Auld Lang Syne.

Kodachrome has left the building. The end of an era.

You Will Be Legal Soon, You 1990ers



Exercise Yard

Cleveland State keeps winning. Last night, they pummeled Loyola.

Another crowd over 4,000. Plus, my coat chair gone for a second game in a row. WTF?

Visitor

41 Across: Lofgren of the E-Street Band (4 letters) Answer: Nils

The sea was angry that day, my friends...

















Despite the unusually cold weather yesterday, my brother and I did something we had been longing to do for quite some time. Attend a football game at our alma mater! You see, Rhodes is in the Senate Athletic League and because it's a city school (meaning they don't have lights), they rarely play the Saturday home game. Most of their league games start at 3:00 on Fridays. And as Michael Stanley sang last night (another story), "Folks like us, we gotta work...", so it's really not conducive to attending these games.

As a matter of fact, it was the first time I had been back on campus since I left. I mean, when I was there, we didn't even call it a campus. We called it "school".

Anyhow, it turned out to be a blast. Not exactly a huge throng in attendance. The opponents were the Braves of Berea. They've been on hard times lately, as they only had one win in 2009. Against? You got it, the Rhodes Rams. Berea opened the season getting rolled by John Hay and Rhodes shut out neighborhood rival, Brooklyn, in their opener by a score of 27-0. So, an intriguing matchup ensued for the 1:00 Saturday start.

After getting wanded and frisked, we take our seats. The first thought that enters your mind is Rhodes doesn't have a lot of players. As a matter of fact, they suited up only 25 guys. Uh-oh. My pre-game speech involved the old, "Not the size of the man in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the man..." and other such nonsense.

















The second thing you notice is the Berea band's front line has more people than our football team. Rhodes doesn't have a band. They have something called a drum line. Maybe 5 drums, 3 cymbals and some brass only heard on the National Anthem. No uniforms.

















The vaunted Rhodes offense goes on the attack.

















I'm not sure why this happened, but on a 4th-and-1 from their own 31, the Rhodes coach decides to go for it. WTF? They hand off the ball to Justin Sangster and he goes 69 yards for a touchdown. Again, WTF? Rhodes has no kicker (isn't their a local mule anywhere?), so they miss the conversion. Then, weird shit started happening all over. Berea is driving on the ground and decides to throw their first pass. But Rhodes intercepts and Lorenzo Walls runs it back 72 yards for a touchdown! Two huge plays before the locals even realize there is a game today. Next possession for Rhodes, Sangster rips off a 43-yarder for TD. WTF, indeed! Visions of The Greatest Show On Turf are dancing through everyone's heads after this score.

















But, wait. There are still three more quarters of football left. Berea scores a TD. Then Walls rips off another huge play for Rhodes with a 51-yarder for a score. Berea decides they are just going to pound the ball up the middle. It works against an outmanned team and Rhodes starts getting pushed around on defense, for a 26-13 halftime score. This continues into the third quarter, as Berea scores another TD on a 19-yard run.

















So, as the game wears on, Rhodes is doing absolutely nothing on offense. The defense has been pushed around for almost two straight quarters. Berea is driving again. They threw their second pass of the game and the QB hit a wide-open guy right in the hands and he dropped it. An omen, perhaps? Quite possibly, as they tried to hit a pass near the goal line on a 4th down play. Working the tip drill to perfection, LeKeith Harper grabs the ball and runs 103 yards for the interception return! 103 effin' yards! It was unbelievable! Berea has now thrown 3 passes and two of them have been intercepted and returned for TDs. Breathing room returns, as they got the 2-point conversion.

















The Rhodes defense continues to be a sieve and Berea scores another TD in the 4th quarter. Less than 8 minutes remain and Rhodes is once more, hanging on.

















Look out for that man Sangster again. In another bit of go-for-it-in-your-own-territory-on-4th-down insanity, he goes around end for 59 yards! Rhodes is a huge play machine today. The score is now 40-27, with just over 6 minutes to go. Come on, clock!

















Berea scores with only a short amount of time left. Rhodes recovers the onside kick and secures the victory. In an absolutely wild game, the final has Rhodes beating Berea, 40-34.



















As I said, it was loads of fun to go the game and to watch such a mind-blower was the cherry on top. But I gotta mention the refs. I know it's tough to find people willing to ref and you're gonna get a mixed bag. But the refs yesterday were too old and out of shape to be refereeing. The speed, even at the high school level, is just too much.

I saw a guy spot a ball with his foot wedge, because he could not bend down. He also tossed a ball for another guy to spot by underhanding a ball directly into the Rhodes defensive huddle. Same guy hadn't called one holding penalty all day. Then when Rhodes is trying to put the game away, up by 13, he calls holding on two successive plays, one nullifying a game clinching first down.

They never called for a tee after a Rhodes TD. The kicker just dug a divot on the 40 and kicked that way the rest of the game and they scored 6 TDs! The Berea kicker had to wait for his tee, as well. On another occasion, the tee was still on the field, two plays later.

On Harper's 103-yard interception return, it was horrible. He could have stepped out of bounds 7 or 8 times (he did not, but it was tight) and it would not have been called because no one was in position nor could keep up. Shocking.

Clock management was an absolute joke. With no play clock at the field, time is kept on the field. Not one delay of game penalty called on either side, when they were obvious. Very late in the game, the game clock was abused and not one referee took sight of it. One Berea pass downfield took all of two seconds. Another one took (gulp!) 16 seconds.

The end of the game was a joke, as well. Rhodes falls on the Berea onside kick with 5 seconds left. As they line up, the game clock is somehow reset at 10 seconds. As Rhodes takes a knee, the ref throws a flag for illegal motion. Game can't end on an offensive penalty. Doesn't mark off the yardage, basically lets it go, the clock expires, game over. Huh?

Look, I commend the guys for giving back, but that performance was subpar.

Rhodes is now 2-0 for the first time in many years.

Meal of Links

Our annual visit to the Taste of Cleveland was last night. The entertainment was Michael Stanley and the Resonators. Sorry, the guy just does not resonate with me. While others seem to enjoy his take on "Sweet Jane/Wichi Tai To", I am rather bemused by it, as it seems unnecessary. Anyhow, the food I had was pretty good. Chico's Deli has not opened yet, but I had some really good Spanish rice with chicken from there. And the beer (and weather) were cold.

I would have posted this earlier, but I forgot. Ten tricks on improving your memory.

People Walking Into Glass Doors



Arthur C. Clarke predicts the future. In 1964.

I'm in Giant Eagle yesterday and got all excited. The cover of The Globe says Annette Funicello is in her final days. Then I was told I don't have her in The Dead Pool. I did last year.

Naughty by nature? How about dwarfed by nature. Awesome stuff.

A look back at rigging game shows. Today, most of the questions are way too easy.

Hat tip to Paul. For it's Mrs. LeBron Wade!

Exercise Yard

Browns made cuts yesterday to get down to the 53-man roster. I'm not a pessimist, but a realist. If you are still tinkering with the roster at this point and when you keep 12 linebackers, you are, you're in for a long season.

And, once again, two draftees didn't make it.

Visitor

None, on a sunny Sunday of a holiday weekend.

I knew it. I'm sure it's only a temporary boost, but who the hell knows for sure. The health of Ronnie Biggs has taken a turn for the better, now that he has been released from prison.

Maybe he and Kevorkian can gave a beer together.

Now Scotland is releasing the Lockerbie bomber, another Dead Pool selection on his deathbed, on compassionate grounds. We'll probably see him streetside at some Libyan cafe soon. Aaaargh!

Meal of Links

Revisiting "Dead Ringers". I haven't seen this one in a while, but is unbelievably eerie.

American healthcare "killed my father".

George Costanza: They wish. I hate the big brokerage houses. Hate them with a passion. Big brokerage houses killed my father.

Woman on Subway: Really?

George Costanza: Well, they hurt him bad. Really hurt his feelings. It's a long story. I- I don't like to talk about it, but I swore then that I would never work for big brokerage houses.

"Warriors, Come out to plaaaay!" Can you dig it? There's a Warriors reunion later this month and they are charging only $20! Let's take that train to Coney!

Dave Grohl's new band, Them Crooked Vultures, has this snippet of a video out:



A recap of their first show.

The great Les Paul died today. Truly a genius.

The Seth MacFarlane interview from Playboy. Psst, Stewie's gay! Shocking.

Songs About Girls



Exercise Yard

Tiger Woods starts the PGA in beautiful fashion. Let's hope he keeps it going.

Visitor

7 Down: Born 8/13/1899, he directed the answers to the starred clues (15 letters) Answer: Alfred Hitchcock

For me, this news is very exciting. With Setanta imploding, ESPN has picked up, for the 2009-10 season, two of Setanta's EPL matches. The return of the 7:45 a.m. Saturday match on a channel I actually receive. Plus the Monday afternoon match. Both to be shown on ESPN2. I guess Charlie Moore just got beat. Outstanding!

Randy Lerner's Other Team, Aston Villa, gets 4 TV slots.

Here is the early Fox Soccer Channel schedule. Oooooh. Sunday night replays before "Dexter". Cool.

It all kicks off Sunday with the traditional Community Shield match for charity this Sunday.

Meal of Links

Perennial Dead Pool fave of mine, Ronnie Biggs (The Great Train Robber) is going to be released from prison. Ostensibly to die. But I've seen this before with Kevorkian. Dammit.

John Hughes died today. For someone who seemed like he had as many movies out as Judd Apatow, he only directed 8 movies. I remember in "Pretty in Pink" that Molly Ringwald was literally a girl from the other side of the tracks. "Do you realize that if we played by the rules we would be in gym class right now?" was my favorite line from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", although we all still know who Abe Froman is. "Sixteen Candles" was pretty good, I thought. I hated "Weird Science" though.

Coke vs Pepsi. Logo style.

Dylan does Christmas. Including "Must Be Santa", which I assume is the Brave Combo tune. Brave Combo? I am seeing them on Friday.

Christopher Walken has a message for you.

Cheaper prices vs. bad customer service. Does it influence our purchases?

Exercise Yard

Donte Stallworth says he's sorry. But as my Mom always told me, "Sorry doesn't clean it up."

Visitor

10 Down: Four-time ABA/NBA MVP, familiarly (3 letters) Answer: Dr. J "From! The University Of Mazzachushetts, number six, Captain of the Philadelphia 76ers Julius... The Doctor... Errrrrrrrrrving!!"

Advice for all the kids out there. Never step on your glasses. Mine are currently being prepped to see if they can survive. I banged up my left lens pretty good. I hope I don't have to get a new one.

So, I'm back to my old ones and I can still see!

Meal of Links

Talking about Judge Sotomayor's confirmation chances. Nate Silver has the totals. Current Senators approved, 35-11 in 1998.

Trent Reznor is raising money for a patient in need of a heart transplant. Already raised more than half a million.

Al Pacino will play Dr. Kevorkian. You know, the guy on my Dead Pool released from prison on health grounds who got better after he left.

If you're a sea fish. Plan on big changes. You probably have 50 years left.

Hello, Newman.

Exercise Yard

The Cavs are performing their own version of "Drag Me To Hell".

Quick Postgame Thoughts:

Do you realize Sasha Pavlovic was perhaps not even active (one box gave him a DNP-CD, another had no listing) for tonight's game? But that's the history of Mike Brown come playoff time. Just look at the box score of Game 7 last year with Boston. Guys disappear without much notice. Today, Joe Smith only played 4 minutes. Apparently, enough time to get abused defensively like some of his teammates, as he had a -7 in that time.

Just goes to show you. For all the wasted breath about home court advantage, come playoff time, you must win on the road.

Ben Wallace had only 4 points, but even with getting picked on that Lewis three-pointer, he played much better defensively. His most active game this series. But he was -14 for the game.

Wally: 21 minutes, 2 points. Only 4 shot attempts. Cavs running out of bullets.

I am digging the "Most Interesting Man" on those Dos Equis ads. Stay thirsty, my friends.

For all of the talk about guard play and the bench: Williams and West combined for 12-of-30. The bench scored 14 points. Daniel Gibson enjoyed, what, three minutes of good play? I thought Delonte West came to play today and he made some tough shots. Almost saved the game in the last 7 seconds but he couldn't grab the ball from going out of bounds.

Mo Williams? Completely disappeared late. His last FG came with 6:46 left in the third quarter. Only attempted 3 more shots after that, missed a technical and his last attempt was a missed layup with 8:15 left in the fourth.

It's all about the Orlando threes. Cavs outrebounded them. Shot 45% from the field, 83% from the line. Only had 12 turnovers (LeBron had 8!), which points out how bad they were late in the game when those piled up. Negatives: 27% on threes and only 17 assists.

Overall, not that bad on the stat sheet, but still not enough to overcome 50% shooting and 45% on threes by the Magic.

My old adage: "Never underestimate the pride of the professional athlete". I assume the Cavs will not roll over and expect their A-game on Thursday. It might be the last chance to showcase their talent at home. I sense a win in Game 5.

Cavs lose in OT, 116-114.

Visitor

12 Down: Rumored Himalayan (4 letters) Answer: Yeti

It's the 51st Grammy Awards! I understand Chris Brown and Rihanna are not performing because they were in a car accident (make that assault for Brown, I later found out). No word on if Billy Joel was driving. But I have enough Archer Farms Black Pepper & Sea Salt Pretzels and A&W Root Beer to keep me going through this nonsense.

U2 kicks things off with their new single, "Get On Your Boots", which I have finally discarded after the temperatures rose. CBS sound is quite awful. The Edge gets to actually play rock guitar, for once. It's been a while. Bono with eye shadow.

Whitney Houston shows some leg while presenting Best R&B Album. This goes to...wait, a Clive Davis shoutout first...Jennifer Hudson, who I think is wearing a bib. Worst Grammy dress ever. God gets thanks!

The Rock intros a bunch of Grammy performers to get a cheap pop.

Justin Timberlake waxes nostalgic about Al Green. Amazingly, he then introduces the Reverend. We get JT and Al on lead, Keith Urban on guitar, Boyz II Men on backup vocals for "Let's Stay Together". C'mon, everyone. Let's hit those high notes!

The Mentalist introduces Coldplay. Chris Martin and piano are there. Then Jay-Z comes out for a verse that starts "Vida La Vida". And, of course, it's performed in an overly dramatic fashion.

Keith Urban says Gene Autry gets a Lifetime Achievement Award (LAA). He introduces Carrie Underwood. Not a good dress, but it does show those legs! She sings that hit that makes her act like a rocker. And the fans love it!

Sheryl Crow and LeAnne Rimes give Brenda Lee an LAA. They also present Best Vocal by a Duo or Group-Country. The usual suspects are nominated, but Sugarland wins for "Stay". I am not familiar with their work. They are a duo, it seems.

Al Green and some Brit (not Amy Winehouse) present Song of the Year. Who are these nominees? Oh, I recognize Coldplay. They win, of course, for "Vida La Vida", because they just played it.

Kid Rock appears. He has been on this show several years running. I think it's a message song he is singing, because there are lots of amens and US flags on the video screen. Then he sings a verse of "Sweet Werewolves of Alabama". After that, another song. This dude gets a medley? Something about a rock revival and he may even be a Rock and Roll Jesus. Ugh!

Next up. Those two young hussies, Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift, sing something slow. Even though they are BFFs, I bet they dislike each other. I think the page from "30 Rock" is playing mandolin. Best Pop Collaboration goes to Robert Plant and Alison Krauss. And, by God, they are there! Plant speaks for both of them.

Speaking of overly dramatic, Jennifer Hudson sings. And, as one would guess, a choir appears. My goodness, this must be an important song. A standing O sent her way.

Jason Mraz and Emily Proctor from "CSI:Miami" introduce the Jonas Brothers: Manny, Moe and Jack. They are accompanied by Stevie Wonder. They sing a crappy tune in which the Joni yell, "Hit it, Stevie" one too many times. I think Moe plays the conga drum like the professor in "The Visitor". All of a sudden, "Superstition" breaks out. Ironically, many Jonas Brothers fans believe in things they don't understand, like the quality of the band.

Blink 182 hand out Best Rock Album to Coldplay. Did I mention they are in the audience? BTW, Paul McCartney has now assumed the "Jack Nicholson of the Grammys" award. Best seat in the house. Ringo was last seen yelling at his postman. Peace and love.

Craig Ferguson brings out Katy Perry. I hear she kissed a girl once and liked it. What an odd production. You Tube videos of amateurs doing the song on the video screens. Large pieces of fruit. Alleged lesbian dancers. The look on the Jonas Brothers faces afterward spoke volumes.

Kanye West is next with his Vocal Duo of "All American Boy". He hands out Best New Artist to...Adele? She is a Brit and I am not familiar with her work. I imagine the Joni are pissed.

Morgan Freeman talks about "a man he's proud to call my friend". I'm thinking Andy Dufresne is gonna come on stage. But no, it's Kenny Chesney! Now there's a story begging to be told.

Sean Combs, Herbie Hancock and Natalie Cole present "Record of the Year". Your winner is "Please Read The Letter" by Robert Plant and Alison Krauss. Krauss silent again.

Queen Latifah tells us that Dean Martin gets an LAA. She then introduces the Rap Pack: Kanye West, Jay-Z, Lil Wayne and Red Buttons. A very pregnant M.I.A does the first part of "Swagger Like Us". I laughed earlier when they teased this as a Hip-Hop Summit. It's in black-and-white at first, then magically color appears at the end. OK, That was interesting.

Hey, now, it's the lovely Kate Beckinsale! Even though her BFF, Posh Spice, is now in Milan, she looks very nice. She introduces Macca. And Dave Grohl. Grohl is ON THE DRUMS! They play "I Saw Her Standin' There". So, I get to sing, "Whoo-o-o-o-o-o" and "I held her hand in mi-i-i-i-ine."

Jack Black and his father-in-law tell us that Hank Jones, a jazz pianist, gets an LAA. Best Male Pop Vocal goes to John Mayer for "Say". That record was crap, I'm here to say. "Say what you need to say" about 100 times.

Jay Mohr and L.L. Cool J tell us Sugarland and Adele will be performing next. "Stay" for the former, "Chasing Pavements" for the latter.

Gwyneth Paltrow, Mrs. Chris Martin, introduces Radiohead. They play "15 Steps" accompanied by the USC Band. Didn't USC win for "Tusk"? Anyhow, Thom Yorke is acting sufficiently Yorkey on the broadcast. Great job!

Samuel L. arrives. "Damn right, I'm right!" he says, talking about music. T.I. and Justin Timberlake with a duet. Can you say "Bathroom Break"? I realize that Grammy did away with the contest where an amateur performs at the Grammys. No wonder Timberlake and Grohl were allowed to do what they wanted this year.

The President of the Academy steps up and thankfully, he didn't insert himself into the commercial that he ran last year for a repeat performance in 2009. He introduces Smokey Robinson, who informs us The Four Tops won an LAA. Smokey, Ne-Yo, Jamie Foxx and an original Top do a medley of Four Tops hits. They actually rehearsed.

Josh Groban introduces a creepy-looking Neil Diamond who sings...wait for it..."Sweet Caroline". Hands touching hands and reaching out all over America. Big crowd reaction. You may be wondering why he is there. I think it was unannounced, but he is the MusicCares Artist of the Year.

Dead People Scroll ending with "Bo Diddley, Rock and Roll Pioneer". BB King, Keith Urban, John Mayer and unfortunately, someone I do not recognize, play "Bo Diddley", complete with the Bo Diddley Beat.

Lt. Dan lets us know Grammy hasn't forgotten Nawlins. Robin Thicke and Allen Touissant accompany Lil Wayne on a tribute.

Will.I.Am sends Obama a shoutout. Best Rap Album goes to Lil Wayne, who clicks his heels on the way out. He brings at least 12 people on stage with him. I assume family, although I am not sure. Not like they knew he was winning or anything, but they sure were lined up properly and quickly to join him on stage.

Is this thing over yet? No, the Blind Boys of Alabama get an LAA. Zooey Deschanel then introduces Robert Plant and Alison Krauss. They are accompanied by T-Bone Burnett on guitar. They also do a medley.

Green Day present Album of the Year to Robert Plant and Alison Krauss who weren't far away because they just performed. Krauss speaks this time. Robert Plant seemingly thanks everyone in the world.

Stevie Wonder closes out the show for no apparent reason. Only 30 minutes over this year. He'll be mad later when he finds out the closing credits were spoken over him.

Meal of Links

Michael Symon's place, Roast, is Detroit's Restaurant of the Year. Pictures included.

Jimmy Sturr, Grammy Powerhouse. He's up to 17 now. Skoal!

Kids and their dogs. Many cute pictures.

Once again, Washington is telling us they need to do something regarding the economy. Hence, the stimulus. Let's hope they do they it better than TARP I from last fall. Watched the Senate debate yesterday. It's like the South Pole arguing with the North Pole. I see no one looking for middle ground.

One less Judge Show. Maybe this one was too intelligent.

Is Castro dead yet? Uh, no.

The annual story on the ethics of selling Girl Scout cookies at the office. Let's be serious, you don't have to order any. But I always wondered about the kids who set up at Giant Eagle. What did they do to earn that advantage? BTW, I still have Pepppermint Joes left. No binge, thus far.

Eddie Izzard really wants to get political. Saw him last year and I think he's genius.

Exercise Yard

The Cavs lost their first game at home this season to the Lakers. But what was up with Phil Jackson's hair? Did he shower today or have a severe case of hat hair? Bottom line for the Cavs today was they played pretty subpar defense and LeBron James shot poorly. Not a good effort from him at all.

The Lakers are on a roll and win, 101-91.

Visitor

None, my lawn reappeared overnight.

Well, Ronnie Biggs could get out of the can by Valentine's Day. That means, my Dead Pool may be responsible for Kevorkian and Biggs getting released. Currently, I have Jimmy Traficant. Look for him to serve his full sentence and be released.

My Dad had some tickets to the Tribe game tonight, so I tagged along. The good thing was Cliff Lee was on the mound. I have been to three games without a loss and now make it four, as the Indians won, 5-0. It was a game of agonizing length, because not a whole hell of a lot happened.

Oh yeah, Tampa's Jonny Gomes misplayed three balls in rightfield and that led to some runs for us. Not sure he has played much out there, but he was a butcher out there tonight. Jhonny Peralta homered and doubled early. Other than that, it was a yawner. My Dad still has only one less RBI than Andy Marte. But on the way in, I high-fived some kids who were hanging out of a window at the Thirsty Parrot. Then I asked my Dad if that made me a kid toucher and we decided no. Hey, we also got a glowstick. I guess for the fireworks we didn't stay for.

Meal of Links

Even pilots hate the TSA. Just get me through the line quickly. Thank you.

How did I miss this? Elvis Costello gets a show on Sundance. And there's also "Architecture School". I remember using our Architecture building's bathroom many weekends after drinking. And seeing people I knew on occasion, slaving over their projects. Not in the bathroom, but in the big room where the exit door was located.

Jerry Springer gives up on freaks. "And here's to you, Maury Povich. Our nation turns it's lonely eyes to you. Woo woo woo."

You can see the "Dark Knight" at 6 a.m. I like these sort of breakfast meetings.

The Superficial (NSFW) always makes us laugh. Read the comments for a laugh riot.

It is rather annoying when the House DJ plays shitty stuff after a good concert. I am reminded of the Jacobs Field days when the last out was recorded in a loss. What comes on? "Can't Stand Losing You" by The Police. Instantly.

Exercise Yard

If you think you can order dog in Beijing during the Olympics, you can't. At least, at official Olympic eateries. Which means there will be plenty to go around elsewhere.

Visitor

53 Down: Two-time N.L. batting champ Lefty (5 letters) Answer: O'Doul

I'm not dead...yet.

So, what has happened since I last checked in.

I had an almost all-day hangover after attending Bar Louie. Must remember to eat.

A dwarf caught his penis in a vacuum while performing. Performing what? I have no idea.

Amy Winehouse achieves Dead Pool potential status.

Both Mega Millions drawings had me getting two numbers, which translates to squat. Next drawing: $250 million.

The author of "Dexter" speaks.

Dammit, MTV stole my idea. Nicole Richie was in jail as long as it takes to watch "Borat"

Got to see Cate Blanchett as Dylan in the trailer for "I'm Not There". That's Dylan as in Bob, not McDermott.

Derek Jeter gave Jessica Alba herpes? Huh...what?

Sports talk in this town is abysmal. Mark "Munch" Bishop uttered what is easily the dumbest thing I've heard all year by a sports host. He said, "The Browns could be showcasing D.A.". Yes, this clown uttered a phrase containing words that should never be used in any context, "showcasing Derek Anderson". It's complete bullshit like this that goes unchallenged that really irks me. Who in the NFL will give up even a 7th round pick for Anderson? The loser of Frye-Anderson (barring injury) is cut, end of story. Needless to say that statement combined with the Buckeyes looming probably forces us to not listen to this Mensa ever again.

We have now used Tom Hamilton's phrase from the WTAM Indians commercial, "This place is actually vibrating." at least 250 times this week.

Meal of Links

Fast Company has an profile of Mahalo, the new search engine. More about the developer probably, but an interesting read.

I consulted this calorie website after my hangover induced me to buy a chicken sandwich from the King yesterday. Omigod.

Stephen Hunter can always turn a phrase in his movie reviews. This time, it's the "Nanny Diaries". "For example, the movie shows a HarvardPrincetonYale "typical" mogul type in a mock museum diorama screaming orders to his broker over the phone, but if you look carefully, the guy has clip-on suspenders. Clip-ons! Good God, it's so hard to get quality help these days! This is like Abe Lincoln wearing a fedora."

Exercise Yard

The Braves designated Wicky Wicky Bob for assignment. The Braves don't seen too upset about it. Not sure if he would find his way back here, but they all seem to come back. Remember, we had Russell Branyan for about a day-and-a-half a couple of weeks back.

Visitor

47 Across: "Phantom" star Billy (4 letters) Answer: Zane

I was over at Giant Eagle today. The dreaded slow cashier syndrome is in play. This isn't time for the social hour, be cordial, but keep the line moving. Today's cashier seemed nice, but wow...shut up.

She sees someone in the next (not her line, mind you) line and says. "There's my ex-neighbor. Hello, ex-neighbor." The guy says he isn't her ex-neighbor. "Is your name Mark?" "Nope." "Do you have a brother?" "Yes." "Is his name Mark?" "No." At this point I'm mentally pleading with the customer to shut up and not play along as I'm next in line and starting to get a wee bit impatient. "Do you have a cousin?" almost made me leap over the lane with the people's elbow, but I only stared at the woman. Finally, it's my turn.

I was wearing my "Compton is for lovers" t-shirt and I could tell she didn't get it and I was praying she wouldn't ask about it. She didn't. But she's just too slow, as she wonders aloud to no one there, "Is it 9:30 yet?". This is at 4:00 and I guess she's still got a long way to go on her shift. I think, quit talking and maybe it'll go quicker, because each time you look up, I'm still here. As we concluded, she has this gem, "You can save 20 cents on your gas. You're not doing your part, so I can keep my job." I guess that's supposed to be funny. Maybe I need the self-checkout line without humans.

Meal of Links

Here are the remaining movies considered the Best Tearjerkers. I haven't seen all of these, but I am curious about a few that are on this list that didn't affect me. "Ordinary People" was one of those at #19. "Love Story"...ugh. I have never seen "Titanic" at #16 all the way through, but I have it on good authority that waterworks are indeed induced. "Life is Beautiful" at #15 was shocking for me, but Best Friend had the tears at that one. Jeff, "Old Yeller" is #12, you happy? What a concept, boy shoots dog. Even as a non-pet owner, it's impossible not to sob uncontrollably at that one. "Field of Dreams" at #10 depends on my mood. It didn't affect me at the theatre, and I was there with my Dad for that one! We must have been ready to bolt to beat the crowd or something. "Brian's Song" at #7 goes without saying. The only football movie worse is "Something for Joey" and yes, I'm still campaigning for that one. "Brokeback Mountain"? Hey, I was more terrified by the whistler before the movie. "You Are My Sunshine", indeed. "It's a Wonderful Life" at #5, no argument there. "Bambi" at #2? I must have been too young when I saw that, I think I laughed. Number 1 is "Terms of Endearment" and I must say, yep, it's a killer.

Old arts figures who might make good Dead Pool candidates. Remember, they are old.

The PD had this in the travel section. Some state parks have tepees. Tepees! Do you have to act like an Indian? You need $30 of wampum at Hueston Woods.

Exercise Yard















First Saturday of the month and that means Showtime picks up boxing. This was the rematch of Israel Vazquez and champ Rafael Marquez at super bantamweight. The first fight was a classic, but what an entertaining bout this second fight was.

They didn't take too long to start trading blows. The third was the best round I've seen in a long time. Marquez got hurt by Vazquez and it backed him up a bit. Vazquez comes in for the kill, but Marquez, even with a cut flowing freely, gets his senses back and starts pounding on Vazquez. Then they traded the rest of the round. Big-time warrior stuff by both parties.

Vazquez had two really bloody cuts by the sixth, but was hanging in there. Marquez, who had been getting hit with the left a lot, got hit with another one and went down. Vazquez got on him again and they traded a bit, but it appeared for a couple of seconds that Marquez was backing up and he dropped his hands, so the ref stopped the fight. It was probably a controversial stoppage, but I am not really that upset with the decision. I am not saying that Marquez would have been knocked out, but clearly he had some issues at the end.

I'm sensing a trilogy.

Visitor

None, a rainy Sunday.

I've decided I don't like being under the weather very much. Although I'm able to function OK and seem to be getting better, I'm having a rougher time shaking this than I thought. BTW, my latest self-diagnosis is not tonsillitis, but sinusitis! Because I've had stuff coming out of me that, quite frankly, I'm not sure I've seen before. After Monday, this week has ended up being kind of a Gordon Ramsay write-off. "Shut it down!" And I'm looking forward to having some fun soon.

Meal of Links

Dana Delany joins "Desperate Housewives" with not much of a track record lately. Surprising they didn't hire Ted McGinley.

Keep this cat away from me. Hey, maybe he could be my Dead Pool pet, sneaking up on unsuspecting celebrities.

I am looking forward to the new Bourne movie next week. Matt Damon says Jason Bourne saved his career. I think he's right, never thought of him as an action guy until then.

Exercise Yard

Manny Ramirez gets "Simpsonized". BTW, he still mashes like a mother.

Visitor

9 Down: "Rats!" relative (3 letters) Answer: Bah

I hear Jerry Falwell died today. So, I'm zipping through the dial at 9:00 and there is Dead Pool choice Tammy Faye on the phone with Larry King (Schenectady, New York!) giving her two cents about it. Hey, she sounded pretty good for 66 pounds. She goes out every day, even if it's for an hour and her voice sounded fairly strong for someone getting hospice at home. She said she was in a restaurant this afternoon when she heard. If she's 66 pounds, what the hell does she eat?

More on the Rev. Falwell.

Meal of Links

We have Bowie videos! Be sure to flip to Part 2, too. Excellent selections. An early live version of "White Light, White Heat" kicks major ass. (Check the heels!). I love his stroll through Berlin on "DJ". That's when the Thin White Duke weighed about what Tammy Faye does now. You have to watch "Fashion". Great tune and G.E. Smith is in it. The alternate version of "Blue Jean" is a rare one, give that a look. "This Is Not America" has Peyton Manning, I mean, Sean Penn clips in it. Whoever compiled this did a great job. It's hard to find some of these songs, let alone the quality.

Well, CBS booted "Class". I watched that. ABC booted the "Knights of Prosperity". I watched that. But "Cavemen" is on.

Get a copy of the latest Vanity Fair, if you can. Sometimes you unexpectedly find the most amazing things to read on subjects you didn't think were worthy. Nick Tosches piece on the history of sushi was one of those articles.

Exercise Yard

The latest NBA controversy is about the Suns-Spurs game last night. Robert Horry went from "Big Shot Bob" to "Cheap Shot Bob" with one hip-check into the boards on Canadian Steve Nash.

Boris Diaw and Amare Stoudemire left the Suns bench after the hit and you just can't do that. Letter of the NBA law says you get a suspension when you do that, and yes, they got one today. Stoudemire pulled the old , "Hey, I was just going over to report into the game." excuse. He must think Bud Selig runs that league.

Visitor

65 Across: "Need You Tonight" rock group (4 letters) Answer: INXS