The men in my family accompanied my niece to see "Pirates of the Caribbean 4: The Search For Curly's Gold". Actually it was "On Stranger Tides". Not ready to be put out to pasture, given last weekend's box office, but it's getting close.

First off, this one clocks in at over two hours, about 2:20. And it was a slo-o-o-o-ow first 45 minutes or so. There was an extremely long runup to the meat of the story and it was a struggle to watch, at first. I'd like to see more funny lines out of Jack Sparrow or perhaps even some action. I'm afraid you don't get much of either in this one. Quite frankly, there were only a couple of lines that I'd call remotely funny. Maybe the 3D version had all the laughs.

Shine Guy as Barbossa (with a peg leg) was pretty good. Ian McShane channels Oliver Reed more than ever in the role of Blackbeard. Penelope Cruz offers a rather tepid love interest for Depp. Al Capone from "Boardwalk Empire" (you know, Tommy from "Snatch") gets the largest role out of the minor characters along with some guy known as the "Catechist", who falls for a mermaid.

Anyhow, the group in this is seeking the Fountain of Youth. As an audience member, I was seeking the Fast Forward button. Looking ahead, I'm sure this series will go as far as Depp wants to take it, and I see maybe one more, if that.

Meal of Links

Interviewer: Dave Grohl. Subject: Kristen Wiig.

Happy Birthday to Bob Dylan.

"Maggie's Farm"/Bob Dylan (Rolling Thunder Review)



50 dinners in 50 states. In Ohio, it's the Culinary Vegetable Institute in Milan.

Here are the cars that get 30 mpg combined. The Nissan Leaf gets 99 mpg for first place.

Exercise Yard

You just climbed Mt. Everest, what do you do for an encore? Well, you climb Lhotse. In the same day.

Visitor

16 Across: Ponce de ____ (4 letters) Answer: Leon

Things are looking up. The Cavs got the Number 1 pick in the draft and also got the Number 4 pick, from the Baron Davis trade. So, the NBA lottery goes our way!

The ramifications of that go way beyond just the players acquired. If those two are parlayed into star players, along with the trade exception still lingering, they may be able to get back to respectability quickly. Hence, fewer empty seats, more revenues, and on and on.

Who cares if it was fixed.

Just can't have the world end this Saturday.

Meal of Links

The ESPN book comes out next week and the buzz is really high. GQ has an excerpt. The subject of the excerpt? Why, Keith Olbermann, of course. His reign of terror at ESPN was legendary. "Welcome to the end of my career." still rates as one of the best lines ever uttered on TV.

Jerry Lewis is out as the MDA Telethon host. Probably due to the fact it's only 6 hours this year.

Elaine's in New York is closing. She once threatened this guy.

Dylan and his cult. One man wants it stopped.

According to Peter Griffin on last week's "Family Guy": "1985 brought us the gayest music video of all time":



"This happened and we all let it happen." I was on the floor.

Seth Macfarlane reboots "The Flintstones". That has hit written all over it.

You hit a deer. Now what? I ain't movin' no fuckin' deer.

Earworms? Maybe "Dancin' In The Streets".

The Pearl Jam doc goes to PBS. This is the Cameron Crowe one. Should be appointment TV.

"Wires"/Red Fang



Cuddy leaves. "House" becomes a sausage fest.

Huey Lewis and the News hit Number One with "Sports". Patrick Bateman, in "American Psycho" said this: "Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when "Sports" came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far much more bitter, cynical sense of humor." Then he put "Fore" on and killed Paul Allen.

Exercise Yard

Dean Smith vs. segregation. Nice history about Dean-o pushing for his Kansas school to be desegregated on the court in the late '40s.

Visitor

66 Across: Country star Travis (5 letters) Answer: Randy

"Better Class of Losers"/Randy Travis

From the land of the extended storm watch...

At least we are not on that Avalanche Watch list.

I heard yet another talk show on the Magic Radio yesterday debating whether Bob Dylan should retire. I've seen the latter-day Dylan a few times and I have to say, half the crowd always leaves disappointed, because they think they are going to be treated to the "Bob Dylan Songbook".

Dylan is pretty clear that his earlier recordings should be considered versions of his songs. Which allows him to tinker with, update or emasculate music you might be familiar with. Is that risky? Sure it is, but that's Dylan. Hey, I've been there. I recall one time, seeing the setlist the day after, and asking, "He sang that song? I couldn't understand it."

It's a dance that not many get to partake.

Meal of Links

God bless old Bernie Sanders. He did the filibuster, old-school style for most of Friday.

"Dexter" wraps up Season 5 tomorrow. Many questions remain.

It's hard to believe the EPL went into December without any coaching changes. Chris Hughton was sacked earlier in the week by Newcastle and no one can quite figure out why. But that's how it is over there.

Five NFL teams that need to be blown up. The Browns would have made this list, what, 7 of the last 11 years.

Exercise Yard

Peyton Hillis is on the verge of becoming the first white running back to rush for 1,000 yards since Craig James in 1985. Good for him. Browns fans haven't been in love with a running back like this since Leroy Hoard.

Speaking of Craig James, the final "30 for 30" for a while, airs tonight. It captures the demise and eventual death penalty for SMU.

Visitor

36 Across: Munsee-speaking people (15 letters) Answer: Delaware Indians

How did you like the Browns draft? I thought the picks of Joe Haden in Round One and Colt McCoy in Round 3 went well. I'm very curious to see if the second rounders consisted of reaches or if the Browns are just smarter than everyone else.

Paul had that relative of Jumpy Geathers circled as late draft pick, so kudos to him, as the Browns used their last pick there. And we also got a guy named Asante, but not Samuel. And South Florida’s all-time leading receiver Carlton Mitchell, whoever that is. So, all in all, not a bad start.

Meal of Links

Forget the VCs. Buy a lottery ticket.

Female. Model. Astrophysicist. Poker player. I'm all in.

Dexter killed cancer. Now get back to work.

"South Park". The most patriotic show on TV. Last week's censored broadcast was unbelievably good. But they are not showing the replays nor is it online.

This looks like a must-see for me. Especially with Linklater, Sayles and David Lynch.

"Great Directors"



There is a guy who plays Joni Mitchell in a one-man show. And Joni Mitchell likes it. She does a number on Dylan, too. Mitchell, that is.

7-Eleven now has its own beer, Game Day. Talk about a Big Gulp.

Speaking of beer. Paste reveals the best 30 beer bars in America. None in Ohio.

Exercise Yard

Kevin Kennedy took care of some wacko on an airplane. He had help, but give him credit.

Visitor

21 Across: Costanza portrayer (9 letters) Answer: Alexander

Pee Pipes

Since I spent most of the last two days doing Christmas stuff, it was time to take advantage of a Browns-less Sunday.

First stop. My Dad and I stopped in for a few minutes at the Kamms Corners Indoor Farmers Market. Got some provisions including some cheese, some fresh pasta, some jelly and some garlic butter. Brussels sprouts seem to be in season.

Then, it was off to the Cedar-Lee, where there were about 8 in attendance to see the late morning showing of "The Damned United". Yes, I went to see a movie about soccer. It was an homage to Brian Clough, "the best manager England never had". The American equivalent is maybe Billy Martin, sort of kind of.

Anyhow, the plot dealt with Clough's personal rivalry with Leeds united coach Don Revie. Revie left Leeds to coach England, after they failed to qualify for the World Cup in 1974. So, Clough takes over Leeds from his rival. And lasts all of 44 days as Manager.

Michael Sheen starred as Clough. I have now seen him play three famous Brits: Tony Blair, David Frost and Brian Clough. Other familiar faces, such as Jim Broadbent, Timothy Spall and the guy who worked with Jason Statham in "Snatch", filled out the cast. Not much soccer footage, although there is some archival footage of how dirty Leeds played back then.

The movie was fairly non-offensive and proved a pleasant diversion.

Meal of Links

The Best DIY Projects of 2009. I do like those Sun Jars. Those Ping-Pong Ball lights look good, too.

Tiger Woods. And modern celebrity.

Can a grapefruit-sized piece of hail kill you? And don't think I have not thought about it.

On the First Day of Christmas

Yeah, it's Christmas at Uncle Bob's house. First of all, it's Dylan doing Christmas. Then, it's Dylan choosing Brave Combo's polka, "Must Be Santa". Third, what's up with the hair?

"Must Be Santa"/Bob Dylan



Exercise Yard

Speaking of soccer, Randy Lerner must be living right. the Browns exorcised some demons against the Steelers on Thursday. Less than 48 hours later, his Other Team exorcised some of their own.

Aston Villa had not beaten Manchester United in 27 matches. They also had not won at Man U since 1983. Both of those streaks ended yesterday. Aston Villa 1, Manchester United 0

Visitor

None, on a wet Sunday.

The idea of Rush Limbaugh owning the Rams didn't last very long. But it was an odd week, while it was tossed around.

First of all, only 60% of the Rams is for sale. Second, why would Dave Checketts, the leader of one group of bidders, pronounce Limbaugh as one of his partners? Sure, Rush has the cash and they would keep the team in St. Louis. But there are 5 or 6 groups bidding and the Checketts group was not the leading candidate. So, why bring Limbaugh up now?

I can only figure they needed some other partners, probably stronger, to make their bid the winning one. And maybe Limbaugh got sacrificed to secure a bigger fish. Otherwise, it was plainly a bad PR move at this stage of the game.

Meal of Links

Pssst. Don't tell anyone. We are sending more troops to Afghanistan. But they're "enablers". Enablers who make things go boom.

I actually watched "The Manchurian Candidate" the other night on TCM. And the scene cited here is kinda weird. But Janet Leigh is oozin' a whole lotta somethin' in this movie.

The latest in facial profiling. Can you tell if a guy is dangerous by the shape of his mug?

Weezer has a Snuggie! And a very cool album cover with a dog.

Must be Christmas. It's the Dylan Christmas album! I've heard two cuts and it's not bad.

Top 10 movie guns. A fantastic list. That Cobra Assault Cannon from "Robocop" is awesome. "My Little Friend" and "Dirty Harry" top the list.

Are you skewing young with any of the new shows this season. The median age of "The Cleveland Show" viewer is the youngest at 28.

A lengthy outline of "The Gervais Principle". Or how "The Office" imitates life.

The Eyeballing Game. Add another addiction to the list.

Exercise Yard

Chris Bosh saves the Internet. Seems someone bought a ton of domain names and he didn't like it when "chrisbosh.com" got taken.

Visitor

16 Across: Oregon Treaty president (4 letters) Answer: Polk

For me, this news is very exciting. With Setanta imploding, ESPN has picked up, for the 2009-10 season, two of Setanta's EPL matches. The return of the 7:45 a.m. Saturday match on a channel I actually receive. Plus the Monday afternoon match. Both to be shown on ESPN2. I guess Charlie Moore just got beat. Outstanding!

Randy Lerner's Other Team, Aston Villa, gets 4 TV slots.

Here is the early Fox Soccer Channel schedule. Oooooh. Sunday night replays before "Dexter". Cool.

It all kicks off Sunday with the traditional Community Shield match for charity this Sunday.

Meal of Links

Perennial Dead Pool fave of mine, Ronnie Biggs (The Great Train Robber) is going to be released from prison. Ostensibly to die. But I've seen this before with Kevorkian. Dammit.

John Hughes died today. For someone who seemed like he had as many movies out as Judd Apatow, he only directed 8 movies. I remember in "Pretty in Pink" that Molly Ringwald was literally a girl from the other side of the tracks. "Do you realize that if we played by the rules we would be in gym class right now?" was my favorite line from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", although we all still know who Abe Froman is. "Sixteen Candles" was pretty good, I thought. I hated "Weird Science" though.

Coke vs Pepsi. Logo style.

Dylan does Christmas. Including "Must Be Santa", which I assume is the Brave Combo tune. Brave Combo? I am seeing them on Friday.

Christopher Walken has a message for you.

Cheaper prices vs. bad customer service. Does it influence our purchases?

Exercise Yard

Donte Stallworth says he's sorry. But as my Mom always told me, "Sorry doesn't clean it up."

Visitor

10 Down: Four-time ABA/NBA MVP, familiarly (3 letters) Answer: Dr. J "From! The University Of Mazzachushetts, number six, Captain of the Philadelphia 76ers Julius... The Doctor... Errrrrrrrrrving!!"

An Iranian shoutout to Dylan.
































Even Wiki gets involved.

Meal of Links

Tracking NYC homicides. That's a lot to track.

David Cross really hates Jim Belushi. And it started several years before Belushi's TV show. Imagine that.

South Africa. Home of the 2010 World Cup. And lots of rapes. Sheesh.

Exercise Yard

Wimbledon starts on Monday. So does the match-fixing.

Visitor

52 Down: "The Audacity of Hope" author (5 letters) Answer: Obama

I kinda like how the sports calendar keeps throwing things my way. Just completed March Madness, which meant watching the Final Four. Then Opening Day happens next. Then the Masters starts. Then Miami is in the Frozen Four for Thursday. Then I get to attend the Home Opener for the Indians.

Then the Easter Bunny shows up.

Meal of Links

Dylan on Obama. It seems that he likes him.

Kenny Fucking Powers is back. "Eastbound and Down" gets renewed.

Roger Ebert counsels Bill O'Reilly. I give it two thumbs up.

Happy Birthday, Internets! Watch Iconic Videos to celebrate.

The Top 25 Fictional Ads in Sci-Fi Movies. Some of the "Robocop" ones are present.

Check out Philip Glass. This doc is on PBS tonight.

"Parks and Recreation" starts tomorrow. Rashida Jones talks about her role.

The death of newspapers. In pictures!

Marines forced Saddam Hussein to watch the "South Park" movie. That makes me laugh.

It costs $5.75 for Cracker Jack at Yankee Stadium. They need a Marc's.

Exercise Yard

The Mets hate Little Leaguers. I'm curious if the Tribe still allows parades before the games.

Visitor

69 Across: Media mogul Turner (3 letters) Answer: Ted

Well, it happened. Yes, I was published in the PD this a.m. Sort of. Gale and I had a conversation over the weekend about "Monday Moaning" and "Thankful Thursday" on page A-2. Seemingly, how everyone moans about being thankful. So, we decided to start calling in with bon mots and see if we get any of them picked up.

Tuesday's question was some nonsense about the CSU and OSU game conflicts on Friday. Which one would you watch and why. Of course, this was right up my alley. So, if you read this in the Wednesday PD, you now know where it came from. And, it was on my first attempt!

"To paraphrase Sam Wyche: "You don't live in Columbus, you live in Cleveland!". CSU all the way!"

I feel very humbled at the moment. And don't tell me that's not funny.

Meal of Links

The death of Natasha Richardson is one of the oddest celebrity stories to come along in quite a while. Dying from an accident on a bunny hill is hard to fathom.

Pictures from the recession. This "Big Picture" series from the Boston Globe is always good.

Bob Dylan's port-a-potty stinks. Really bad, apparently.

NBC is starting to defend CNBC. This may be the frontrunner for most backlashes of the year, so far. Springsteen heads to "The Daily Show".

Exercise Yard

The Madness (with Gus Johnson) starts tomorrow.

Thursday's Winners:

Memphis, Purdue, Connecticut

BYU, California, Washington

Texas, Duke

American, UCLA

Butler, Clemson, Oklahoma

North Carolina, Gonzaga, Western Kentucky

Visitor

40 Across: Actor ____ Ray known for macho roles (4 letters) Answer: Aldo

My Pittsburgh Visit

I spent the last few days in Pittsburgh. Specifically to attend the New American Union Festival. This was sponsored by American Eagle and was curated (is that the right word?) by Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Not sure how he hooked up with them or vice versa, but there you go.

The thing that always strikes me about Pittsburgh is when they undertake construction projects, it's not the local truck filling potholes with hot patch. No, they tend to rip up roads that alter lives. As you can imagine, I used Google Maps, recalling the devil known as Mapquest. Unfortunately, they don't update construction-laden routes, as I soon found out.

Seemingly hitting every interstate in the region (480-271-80-76-79-579-279-My Ass 79-376), I found myself in Downtown Pittsburgh. My hotel was in Oakland (by some colleges and UPMC medical), on Boulevard of the Allies. Which is great, till you find out your road has been closed (demolished, actually), which means follow the detour signs. Well, these signs keep taking me further away, but I'm not noticing any exits to dive off. Hence, I find myself eventually going through the Squirrel Hill Tunnels. Which worked out, because you can yell "Fuck!" out the windows in a tunnel and it sounds excellent. Upon exiting the tunnels, the detour signs finally appear again, which basically takes me back through the tunnels, only the other direction this time. In a much happier mood, I tested how far XM lasts in a tunnel like that. I got about 30% coverage. Eventually, I made it back to Oakland and arrived at my hotel.

The Quality Inn University Center is one of those reliable hotels that dot the landscape. Nothing exquisite, but it had a bed, running water and air conditioning. Of course, my room was right next to the elevator, silly. But, it also had a Panera attached, for that Asiago Roast Beef craving.

But, I learned my lesson with these roads on Saturday, when I visited IKEA. I decided then that I would take old friend Route 60 North back home to I-76. Much easier and less crowded. You do get to go through the Fort Pitt Tunnel, however. XM gets in that one about 75%, so in case of attack, head to Squirrel Hill.

Andy Warhol Museum

On Friday, I was at the Andy Warhol Museum for several hours. This had been on my list for a while, so I finally got there. It cost $15 to attend and their parking lot is $6. On Saturday, attendance cost only 80 cents, because it was Warhol's birthday week. They had cupcakes, too, on that day. But I'm not that cheap and already had it pencilled in for Friday.

And it was well worth it. They had two exhibits. One was by Piet Mondrian. OK, I'm not enough of an art freak to know why this guy is so special. I see an oil of a house. Then a couple of years later, eh, he does another house.

Then I see this:
















Doesn't that look like something we all could do. Oh yes, we may go over a line here or there, but I'm obviously missing something. They tell me it's special, but did he do this when no one else was painting rectangles? I'm not mocking, I'm just curious.

The other exhibitor was Glenn Kaino. Now, this I liked. 21st Century stuff using items like wave machines, sand, mashups of plastic model kits, a bigass wooden boat, and other really cool sculptures. I think they had maybe 10 or 12 of these things. Some were fairly large, and all of them interesting.

The special Warhol exhibition was Wild Raspberries. Warhol did the illustrations for a cookbook that was a mockup of French cooking, that was becoming all the rage back in the late fifties. They had a lot of original art from the book, that included a lot of items in the editorial phase, including page layouts, choice of fonts, sketches, etc. And they had lots of them, too. As I learned throughout my visit, the Museum does a great job of finding things.

Other Warhol exhibits were his Paintings for Children, one of his Time Capsules, and Early Pop. The kids items are self-explanatory. The Time Capsule project is fairly interesting. Warhol had access to tons of pop items as they crossed his desk. I guess people always sent him things for opinions and knew he hoarded stuff. So, he used to keep these boxes by his desk and upon his death, they learned he had 600 of these. The museum is currently opening them and documenting their contents. They will become available for public viewing in 2014, but if you look through the doors of the collection on the second floor, you see people painstakingly archiving their contents. Using the CSI-glove treatment, it appears.

The Early Pop section had the usual celebrity photos, but this was mid-to-late '80s era. My Dad would be proud, as he had several people eating in the photos. I saw Mel Gibson, Mick Jagger, Sting, and even an early Anthony Kiedis from 1985. That was a long time ago and I wondered how their paths crossed at the time.

There was also an exhibit called Silver Clouds. This was an air-conditioned room that had big foil pillows that you could walk amongst and do whatever you like. Stand amidst them, hit 'em up in the air, bash your neighbor, etc. That was fun.

There are also several back issues of Warhol's Interview magazine that you can leaf through. What would the Warhol be, if I didn't see some video? Each day there are rotating exhibits, with longer films shown on the weekends, I believe. They have hours on Friday nights with reduced admission and drinks, too. I was lucky enough to see two episodes (the pilot and Episode 1) of "Andy Warhol's Fifteen Minutes", a show I had erased from my memory. Strangely, I think it was produced for MTV. To be frank, the production values kinda sucked. These were probably done in the months before he died, so I think there are only a handful of episodes.

They had a Brady Bunch beginning with Andy and three guests looking around at the other squares. Lots of fashion world people, visits to a drag club, guests like Sally Kirkland, Debbie Harry, Jerry Hall, John Oates(?), Ric Ocasek. The Ocasek segment absolutely cracked me up. He visits Andy at a new studio, where Warhol seems to be in the early stages of renovation. Maybe, it was perpetually the case, but Ocasek is ever-so-polite throughout. He listens respectfully and compliments Warhol on his plans and how neat it looks. It looked to me like they had just got the keys and were still demolishing what had been there.

IKEA

On Saturday, I went to IKEA. I have now deemed IKEA the "Marc's of Pennsylvania". Well, you can't go in there for just one item. I didn't spend that much money, but certainly had a bagful of items to bring back. I needed some new glassware and a pitcher. Then I ended up with a bunch of small items. So, I helped stimulate the economy.

New American Union Festival

The Venue: This event was held at the SouthSide Works. Imagine, if you will, holding a rock concert in the parking lot of Trader Joe's at Crocker Park. Yep, that was the setup. They fenced in an unused parking lot in the corner of this development.

Apparently, the locals had been bombarded with stories about how terrible the traffic was going to be. No one could figure out if the stated goal of attendance of 10,000 each day would be met. Originally, you had to get two-day tickets. The price was not bad. $50 for adults for both days, students only had to fork over $25. I think that had changed to tickets for either day somewhere along the way. It was almost as if the dates were arranged, bands were booked, and then someone figured out they had no details. Of course, there were no logistical horror stories to be had. Acts went on at the appropriate times, there was plenty of parking and no traffic nightmares.

Allegedly, they were going to present films, have artists showing their wares, etc. I saw no evidence of this. Outside, they had a series of maybe five or six booths, selling Mexican food, gyros, pizza, smoothies, and hot dogs. I got a gyro on the way out on Saturday that was damn good. I think they limited the amount of these stands, so the restaurants in the area could do some business. For instance, Claddagh had a bunch of people both days.

My take on this is that SouthSide Works was probably built with a lot of promises. It's like a Crocker Park or Legacy Village. But, American Eagle has its headquarters there. However, I sense that it may not be meeting the original expectations, so American Eagle thought this might be a good promotion for the place. I mean cheap tickets for the young and there are condos available in the area.

Concessions: OK, everyone got a free water bottle and they had stations you could fill it up. For free, that's a good thing. That may have been it for the good. Well, you also had free outs, so if you wanted to take a break and come back, you could. Back to the provisions. For $7, you had your choice of Genuine Draft or Miller Lite. $9 got you a frozen margarita, I had one Saturday. $12 got you a yard of frozen margarita, then you would have to carry the glass. That was it for booze. Oh, bottled water was $3.50.

Food consisted of pretzels, nachos, Southwestern wraps (I didn't ask), veggie burgers (no regular burgers), and hot dogs. I dunno, I thought the concessions overall sucked.

Thank God, the weather was cool. That asphalt would have been a killer if it was 90 degrees.

The Crowd: First off, the Steelers were playing, so people actually wore football jerseys to the concert. That's a no-no to me. Anyhow, there were Ben jerseys and Franco Harris, Parker, Timmons, Miller, and Ward. Some idiot decided to wear a Randall Cunningham jersey.

And should parents go with their kids to concerts? I mean teenagers. Is that normal now. Let the kids have fun on their own. Wait for them at the Cheesecake Factory.

I'm not sure either night hit any mythical projected attendance numbers. It was decidedly older on Saturday because of Bob Dylan. I'd say maybe 5,000 Friday and 7,000 Saturday, I'm not sure. My annoyance was that Friday, it seemed people were into the music a bit more. Saturday became the social hour, maybe because of the longer schedule. From where I was at, very few people were even into The Raconteurs. After they were done, it was an exodus of many of the younger folks. And then many of the older people were still chatting. Loudly. I hope this isn't a trend. I mean, if you're there, pay attention. If not, give your tickets to someone who may enjoy a show. And the sight of babies at this show was a startler. Yes, infants were there. Hopefully with earplugs.

Kiedis says they'll be back next year. We'll see.

Friday, Day One

Tiny Masters of Today

OK, they are kids (brother and sister), but I'll crack on them anyway. I mean, they ARE opening up a rock festival. They were bad. I'm going to say the worst I've ever seen. As soon as I heard the female voice (she's 12), I thought, oh no, I have to endure this for 30 minutes. I guess her voice is supposed to be campy and I'm still searching for a comparison. The male singer (he's 14) had a Dead Milkmen quality to his vocals, which is fine. I think they were all going to wear Burger King crowns, but it was too windy and they blew off. They actually threw shirts into the crowd, probably as riot prevention. Their finale was House of Pain's "Jump Around". Remember the vocal quality I just described. Now picture your favorite cop show theme. "Ironside", perhaps. Remember the siren? Well, that was the part in "Jump Around" that the girl vocalized over Dead Milkmen guy urging us to "Jump around. Jump around. Jump up. Jump up and get down." while STANDING THERE, NOT MOVING! I quickly went for another beer.

NASA

I'm not sure what I saw with these guys, but I liked it. It made me laugh. Yeah, there's probably people who do this better, but I don't frequent their appearances. OK, this is two guys in orange NASA jumpsuits doing mashups on their Apples. Well, I'm not sure that'll hold for 30 minutes. So, they bring out two female dancers in halters and hot pants. Several minutes later, two other "astronauts" show up with water guns and they do break dancing. Finally, a monster appears. To me, it looked like a guy in a Sasquatch suit with a lizard head. More dancing ensues.

Samples, amongst many others, that I recall:

"Song 2"/Blur
"Push It"/Salt-N-Pepa
"Smells Like Teen Spirit"/Nirvana
"Magic Man"/Heart
"Rapture"/Blondie
"It's Tricky"/Run DMC
"Another Brick in the Wall"/Pink Floyd
"War Pigs"/Black Sabbath
"Baba O'Riley"/The Who
"Riders on the Storm"/The Doors
"Seven Nation Army"/The White Stripes
"Hey, Ladies"/Beastie Boys

The Black Keys

OK, now we are finally at a rock show. Akron's own, The Black Keys, were unbelievable. Nice backdrop logo of a Goodyear-looking tire with "Black Keys Akron, Ohio" on it. Kiedis says afterward, "Black Keys, if you're listening, that was insane!". He also said, "That was like watching Jimi Hendrix at Woodstock!" Oh, well. Anyhow, it's not difficult to see why Jack White has named them one of his favorite bands, because it's the duo, one drummer, one guitarist factor. Sort of a Larry and Darryl approach, without the other brother. They kicked ass for 45 minutes. Lots of bluesy type guitar work, but these dudes were great. No question, they were the highlight of the two days. Adding them to the must-see-again list.

The Roots

If you had asked me before this event, I would have said, "I'm not familiar with their work." I tried. Oh, how I tried. They are from Philadelphia and their sound is hip-hop vocals over some soul, maybe a bit of Earth, Wind and Fire and even big band arrangements.

My beef was the vocal style never seemed to change in the part of the performance I saw, regardless of the music. Some of the younger folks seemed into it, but I just didn't get it. After hearing them, I didn't think they should headline. I gave up on them after 50 minutes to grab some chow.

Saturday, Day Two

The Duke Spirit

Duke sucks, didn't see them.

Black Mountain

Didn't think I'd arrive this early, but I did. Again, they did nothing for me. They played for 30 minutes.

Gnarls Barkley

Probably the surprise of the festival. Although, I think the lead singer may need medical attention one of these days. Cee-Lo seemed to get tired real quick and sat for a bit. He and Danger Mouse had the Century 21 sportcoats on. Backup band had the sweater vest and bowtie thing going on. Even with Cee-Lo nearly dying, they put on a high-energy show. My beef and it's trifling, it's too much of asking us how we're doin, are we a party place, etc. It's just a way for a cheap pop from the crowd that irritates me. They are better than that.

But they were fine, both vocally and musically. "Crazy", "Gone Daddy Gone", "Neighbors" all good. They played 45 minutes and they were good.

Spoon

I like Spoon. I think they continue to get more and more airplay. I think "Don't You Evah" was one of the catchiest tunes of the year (hey, it's on their MySpace page). Loved "The Underdog" single. This band is really good live, as well. Horn section sounds good on the songs they were utilized. They mentioned this was the third time they had been to Pittsburgh in about a year. That reminds me, I think Southside Johnny is coming soon. I thought he lived here for a while. Back to Spoon, they also did a Stones cover of "Rocks Off".

They also did 45 minutes and I liked it very much.

The Raconteurs

I'm bullish on Jack White, but it would have been really good if they could have played longer than 60 minutes. Again, just a blistering set from these guys. Guitar work was out of control awesome. As I said, I'm not sure what the crowd was looking for. It appeared that many were drifting off during the guitar solos. I thought maybe Jack might have stayed around for a duet with "Bobby D" as he called him. Nope, didn't happen.

Bob Dylan

As usual, Dylan stands behind the keyboards and it gets increasingly difficult to hear him. Especially with all of the chatter. Overall, a pretty decent effort, but his Cleveland show last year was much better. Thought the band was much tighter that night. He's still in that Western swing mode and if you think he's gonna crank out your favorite hits, buy the records, it ain't happening.

He did "Summer Days", probably his most recent tune I like the best. "Rainy Day Women" was not done the old way, I tell you. And some more of his New Orleans stuff he has kept in the set a while.

Bobby D's ever-changing setlist:

"Rainy Day Women #12 & 35"
"It Ain't Me, Babe"
"The Levee's Gonna Break"
"Spirit On The Water"
"High Water"
"Tangled Up In Blue"
"Honest With Me"
"Beyond The Horizon"
"It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)"
"Nettie Moore"
"Summer Days"
"Ballad Of A Thin Man"

Encore:

"Like A Rolling Stone"

Here's how I would rate who I saw:

The Black Keys
The Raconteurs
Spoon
Gnarls Barkley
Bob Dylan
NASA
The Roots
Black Mountain
Tiny Masters of Today

All in all, a good effort for Year One of the Festival. They claim video will be up on Tuesday. All the setlists should be available at that time. My suggestion is if you take a look at anyone, watch The Black Keys.

I was dreading the ride to work this morning, because 480 is being reconstructed on the eastbound side. I'm not sure if it was a mistake or temporary, but they actually had two spots you could bail out on to get to 77 and all of the Rockside mayhem.

I saw a truck exit ahead and then a bunch of cars followed. At first, I thought we may have been cheating, but it was a legitimate exit that forced you off. This was about halfway between the normal 77 exit and the Jennings entrance. But, it also appeared that if you missed that exit, they gave you another chance and it'll probably keep the traffic flowing better. Hopefully, they keep it this way.

All of our other local construction.

Meal of Links

Has Billy Bragg mellowed? Seems the new album might offer some proof.

All about Bob Dylan's XM show. A nice collection of his themes (his one on Dogs was great), quotes, jokes, even recipes. Why just last week I heard him intro that great Porter Wagoner song, "The Cold Hard Facts of Life":

"I left the store two steps behind the stranger
From there to my house his car stayed in sight
But it wasn't till he turned into my drive that I learned
I was witnessing the cold hard facts of life"

Tim Goodman talks about the CBS comedies. And how they compare to NBC and why certain people won't watch them.

President Bush chats with Jon Stewart.

Dexter is dating his sister. Well, they did live together.

Exercise Yard

Herschel Walker is starting to talk about his multiple personalities. This old article from the SI Vault mentions most of his quirks. The daily 2,000 situps, ballet, FBI, bobsledding, his bread and water diet and most everything.

Visitor

50 Down: Trumpeter Armstrong (5 letters) Answer: Louis

Gib Shanley died over the weekend. A really terrific radio broadcaster for the Browns. He had that knack of telling you how far the receivers were from the interior line. As in, "Collins out 12 wide to the left, Warfield split 4 to the right." Carried Browns fans from the Jim Brown era through the Kardiac Kids. Also, in the era of no cable sports or sports talk radio, he hosted "The Quarterback Club" on Wednesday nights, where they would show a recap of the Browns game. With home TV blackouts, you had to watch these shows to see the games you missed.

And, as I've repeated millions of times, my favorite Gib line was one that was unintentionally funny. Steve Cox was a punter with the Browns, and he was sidelined a lot during the 1983 season, because of some sort of brain injury. So, each week, Gib would utter this line (imagine us playing the Bengals): "The Bengals have 49 players, the Browns have 48 without Cox." OK, when you're immature, that's funny.

Meal of Links

Turner comes up with a 15-hour marathon for Charlton Heston. Wow, outside of "Ben Hur", pretty crappy. Speaking of cable, HBO seems to have gotten the short end of the writers strike, as their series won't be on this summer. Good opportunity for "Weeds" on Showtime, back June 16.

Bob Dylan wins a Pulitzer. He joins George Gershwin and Duke Ellington, amongst others, who have won a special citation. OK, some other citation winners for the arts: Rodgers & Hammerstein for "Oklahoma!"; Scott Joplin; Thelonious Monk; Ray Bradbury: John Coltrane. Dylan makes it three years in a row (Monk in 2006 and Bradbury/Coltrane last year), so, maybe it's an annual prize these days.

Lollapalooza lineup is here. Looks pretty cool. What Made Milwaukee Famous and The Gutter Twins are two of the lesser-known acts I like. Austin City lineup comes out next week. And very disappointed that Radiohead is coming to Blossom, of all places.

That Olympic Torch relay is proving not to be welcome in Paris and London. It's actually getting extinguished along the way. On to San Francisco. Uh-oh.















Exercise Yard

Eric Snow has looked more like a coach than a player the last few weeks. The future is still in doubt, however.

Visitor

17 Across: "The Twilight Zone" host (10 letters) Answer: Rod Serling

Last night, we gathered up the men in my family to search for some grub. Plan A was to go to Melt as I had not been there in a while. When we arrived, however, it was packed to the gills. There was a high school football playoff game at Lakewood and I'm sure thousands were in attendance to see Jeff Dunham, the ventriloquist, at the Civic Auditorium.

So, we obviously had to head elsewhere for Plan B. Which is the good thing about Lakewood. I thought maybe Crazy Rita's would be a substitute, but that will become a Cleats (and don't we have enough of them yet?), Johnny Malloy's had the Calzaghe fight, but we were too early, so we headed over to the old reliable, the West End, where we got to see the end of the Navy-Notre Dame game and also the conclusion of Michigan-Michigan State. As usual, food (especially the buffalo chicken tenders) and beer (Shiner Bock) were good.

Meal of Links

A journey through Chicago to get 10 free tacos during the allotted time last Tuesday, courtesy of the feet of one Tacoby Ellsbury. Why in God's name did they have this promotion on a Tuesday afternoon?

The tongue stud of Mrs. Kucinich. Yep, he's my Congressman.

Bob Dylan has an art exhibit in Germany. I'm sure Red Skelton is jealous...er, was...uh, smiling broadly from above.

Exercise Yard

Ball State 's basketball program is kinda screwed up. BTW, I finally got my CSU tickets on Friday. Considering there is an exhibition game on Tuesday, that seems to be cutting it close. Can't wait to see the new mascot. And I also got center court seats to see CSU play Ohio State in December at Quicken Loans Arena in the McClendon Game.

Visitor

A busy Sunday--The Wiggles, Browns and Springsteen.