While watching Arsenal-Blackburn on the PC, here is the scene when Jeff and I entered Cleveland Browns Stadium last night (and, yes, we got there way too early):



And the view from the seats (where if you concentrate really hard, you can hear "Run, William, Run!" from the dark recesses of your brain):



The Browns played the Lions last night for the Great Lakes Trophy or some such nonsense. However, it raises money for charity, so there you go. The Browns plan was to give all four of the quarterbacks some playing time. Uh, that can't be good. So, the order was going to be Derek Anderson followed by Charlie Frye followed by Ken Dorsey followed by the People's Choice, Brady Quinn.

In a prior arrangement, we had decided we were only going to stay for the first half, then I was going to watch the second half with my Dad, on a non-HD TV. As you know, I have seen some pretty bad tackle football games since the Browns have returned. And Browns Version 2.3 did not disappoint with that first-half performance. It may have been the worst preseason effort from a starting offense I've ever witnessed.

Normal items first:

Menu this year consists of beer at $6.75. Hot dogs are $4.00, pretzels are $3.75, nachos are $6.75. No more "dog bowl" for the nachos. It appears the Chinese have developed some sort of half-football for transport and dipping purposes. My brother is a noted nacho eater and has said the recesses for the salsa and cheese product at either end are constructed poorly. Because when those near the bottom, your fingers are gonna get messy. Watch out kids!

New signs for the numbered sections above the portals. Also, a la Quicken Loans Arena, ribbon message boards below the club seats on either side of the field offer messages in color.

G.E. Smith has gone the way of the dropkick.

And how about the Replay Apparatus this year? Instead of "going under the hood", the ref enters some voting/porn shop curtained-booth, so fans can't yell or throw stuff at them.

Bad t-shirts were plentiful last night. "Beer we go Brownies, beer we go!". "Here's your Shitsburgh Squealers" with a dog taking a shit prominently displayed. Where are these people's Moms?

Really a poor choice, once again, of unis by the fans. 2 Couch, 85 K. Johnson, 92 C. Brown, 10 Holcomb, 37 Henry. I think 33 Hoard took the cake. No 30 K. Brown (No college), though.

Not going to say too much about the Browns defense. Jon Kitna of the Lions was firing the ball all over, with two of his starting wide receivers not even playing. And it was 16-0 at the half.

Rating the QBs:

Anderson: Anderson was terrible, but passed up Frye in the QB stakes. Nothing prepares a Browns fan for the regular season more than the sequence the team pulled off, as Anderson was sacked, then he fumbled, on the very first play. Only to be surpassed as they reached a first-and-goal at the Lions one-yard line in the first quarter. It proceeded, as follows:

Delay of game penalty on the Browns. Back up 5 yards.
Late substitution resulting in a Browns timeout.
Lewis for 4 yards up the middle.
False start by Browns. Back up 5 yards.
Jeff says, "Watch him throw an interception."
We then watched him throw an interception.

It was so bad, he needed more work in the third quarter. He eventually got the Browns in field goal range, where Phil Dawson missed.

Frye: As the game played out, Frye will be the most likely to be cut. I don't think you keep Anderson and Frye, if Quinn will be your eventual starter.

Frye was a victim of the Browns coaching staff ineptitude once again. During his two-minute drill, after failing to get a first down, the Browns were faced with a fourth-and-two on the Lions 35, with the clock running, but still a minute remaining, plenty of time. Considering that my record as Browns coach has no blemishes, this clearly is a point on the field where a timeout is necessary. But no, Frye keeps asking the bench, they keep sending in guys and chaos ensues. Finally, Frye takes the snap and tries a sneak. Uh, that didn't work.

Kitna drives the Lions for a touchdown in all of 28 seconds. Whoops! Frye then compounds matters by throwing two terrible passes, the second is intercepted and the Lions end up with a field goal. The score is now 16-0, as the Lions have scored 10 points in the last minute. I think the Frye Era is over.

Dorsey: Ken Dorsey did his job. As a number 3 quarterback, who the Browns never seem to want to play, he did OK for himself. He finally got in the game with 2:25 to go in the third quarter, while the fans really wanted to see Quinn. He drove the team for a touchdown against the Lions scrubs and did a good job overall. I think he cemented the #3 spot last night.

Quinn: As I'm watching Quinn drive the ball for 2 touchdowns late, I can't get over how desperate the Browns organization and their fans must be. And I could not help but think of The Wolf from "Pulp Fiction" when he said, "Let's not start sucking each other's dicks quite just yet."

Quinn made all the right throws. He didn't screw up. He may throw the ball three times harder than Charlie Frye. However, he did all of his damage against the Lions third and perhaps fourth-string defense. Nine passes went to the running backs (Barclay 2, Harrison 6, Wright 1). His best pass was the one he hummed to Sanders for 24 yards on his second drive.

He took only 9 snaps from under center, four of which were spikes, the rest were out of the shotgun. That's crucial because Browns quarterbacks tend to screw up the center snap. And lastly, we haven't seen him hand the ball off yet. That's crucial because the Browns quarterbacks tend to screw up the running back exchange.

Having said all of that, doesn't it look like he has to start preseason game #3 and get some time with the starting offense? I sense the Browns quarterback situation is so bad, he may be pushed up a lot farther than they wanted. In other words, they may pull a Couch and chuck whatever plan they thought they might have and proceed accordingly. And can you honestly say Frye is better than Anderson at this point?

I look for Quinn to start next week with Anderson, then Frye to follow. Frye will then be cut with Anderson or Quinn the opening day starter against the Steelers. BTW, during Quinn's stint, they had a tendency not to show Romeo Crennel.

Dad: "Where's Romeo at?"
Me: "He's out washing Brady Quinn's car."

The Browns lost, 23-20.

Meal of Links

It looks like "frozen smoke" may be the next wonder product. It's called aerogel.

How subprime mortgages have screwed up the stock market. I guess solid lending principles account for something now.

Omigod! I have now found the perfect campsite. "Glamping" sounds good to me. "Jeeves, how is that hot dog coming along?"

My brother just had to mention Michael McDonald during last night's game. Here is Rick Moranis as Michael McDonald, the hardest working man in show business:



Exercise Yard

Lester Munson gives a Michael Vick update. It still doesn't look good for him.

Visitor

None, it's a rainy, dreary Sunday.