Randomness from today's Browns home game:

Gale was today's special guest. Browns Version 2.3 has high expectations coming into this season. I, for one, am not sold on Charlie Frye at QB. Oh, he'll make some good plays, but combined with an offensive coordinator who uses about 10% of the playbook, it's hard to get excited about our chances. The opponent: The New Orleans Saints. A very difficult read. With Katrina behind them, the Superdome open for business, a new coach and the drafting of Reggie Bush, are they a team on the rise? Or was last year's forgettable season a portend of their immediate future?

The weather was very nice today. Around 70 degrees, it was the coolest temperature for an opener in a long time. Some clouds, but it was the wind that was more a nuisance than anything.

Today's giveaway: One of the all-time favorites, the magnet schedule.

Section 345 was relatively tame today. We had a guy down the row from us who's been dormant for a couple of years, spring back to life today. This guy used to berate people for leaving early. Even in games we would be getting pasted by like 35 points. Finally, a younger guy got tired of his act one Sunday and I thought he was going to kill him. Anyhow, he decided to pull out the tired, poor, pathetic act of "we're not making enough noise." Jeezy creezy, if the Browns would make a first down once in a while, maybe we'd be fired up. Then when we started playing better in the second half, he was quiet. Funny how that works.

No smells today, except for the calls of our offensive coordinator. We gained a total of...ahem...186 yards.

The passing game today stunk. Nothing long. Very little of medium range. Mostly, it was 6-yard square-ins off a three-step drop. Bah!

The G.E. Smith Band has been canned. O Happy Day.

Worst Browns play: This could actually be termed my Pet Peeve of the Year and it's only Game One. Twice the Browns had a third down and less than a yard. Now if Reuben Droughns is your number one back, shouldn't we expect him to be in the game, especially in the first half, in these situations? And shouldn't we expect him to run the ball up the middle on those plays? Well, our braintrust decided to insert the immortal Lawrence Vickers into the game at those moments and had him run two sweeps. Needless to say, they both failed. Ugh! One other time, on a fourth-and-one, they threw the ball! Oh, it was completed, but negated by a penalty. I hope this does not reflect a lack of confidence in power football.

Best Presidential play: "Bush tackled by McKinley, Washington and Jackson."

Best line from me: I know it's a rerun, but before the game, I said, "How come when I hear that two priests bought a retirement home in Florida, the two words that pop into my head are "naked swimming"?"

Best line from the little girl next to me, whose father noted they were sitting next to a drunk (not me): "I think they were tailgating."

Oddest Browns jersey: Semper Fi 1

Best shirt: Got teeth? b/w Roethlisberger 7 T-shirt.

No in-game purchases, much to Gale's dismay. We ended up post-game at the Happy Dog for some BBQ pork chops.

Marky Nolan gave his weather update today while wearing a ballcap. He looked very much like the Village Idiot, Jeff Tanchak.

Best Browns play: This is a tie between Dennis Northcutt's 31-yard punt return in the second quarter and Chrlie Frye's scramble a la Curly Howard for a short pass play in the third, I think it was.

I actually saw a deely bopper at the game.

Best Fan Cam picture: I dunno, I still have a soft spot for the three-headed dog guy.

Worst stat: Charlie Frye was the Browns leading rusher.

2nd worst stat: Lawrence Vickers-2 rushes, none yards.

3rd worse not-so-much-a-stat: Although Ted Washington's name was called quite a bit, it appeared the Saints could run up the middle anytime they felt like it. Strangely, when Jeff Faine played here, we couldn't run up the middle. Now he moves to the Saints and he can push people out of the way up the middle? And where was Orpheus Roye? It may have been the smallest impact he's had on a game in quite some time. Reggie Bush is fast. I believe I'll be able to brag years from now about being at his first game. He held up very well, while doing everything, including returning kicks.

What can I say? The Browns rushing stats were padded by Frye's scrambles, otherwise that would have been an abysmal effort. In fact, it was an abysmal effort. The passing game was non-existent. The defense kept the Saints out of the endzone for the most part, but gave up too many third-down conversions, allowing some drives to continue. Once more, 150 yards on the ground is a killer. Both Bush and Deuce McAllister looked good running the ball for Nawlins. Having said that, Bodden and Jackson stood out on defense for the Browns.

Meal of Links

Has pop culture changed since 9/11. Not really. The characters may have changed but not the stories.

I like to look at Penelope Cruz. I do not like to hear Penelope Cruz speak English though.

The chairman of HP will probably have to resign. If you want to investigate leaks, that's OK. Just don't have the folks you hire perform illegalities.

Exercise Yard

The greatest tennis player in quite some time, Roger Federer, wins another U.S. Open. No doubt, the best artist with a racquet since Johnny Mac.

Visitor

None, it's NFL Kickoff Sunday.