With thanks to Johnny Carson.

"It was hot today."

"How hot was it?"

"It was so hot that a flock of birds burst into flames from spontaneous combustion."

"It was so hot I saw Orson Welles selling shade!"

"It was so hot that I saw a dog chasing a cat, and both were walking."

"It was so hot I spilled McDonald's coffee on myself to cool down."

“It was so hot that if you ordered at Burger King, they said, if you want it your way, make it yourself!"

Meal of Links

Here are some quotes from last night's Tony Awards.

I didn't know Norah O'Donnell was "The White Ho" for MSNBC.

Now we're talking. Sharp plans to introduce a 65-inch LCD TV in August. Damn, only in Japan. "I want a doctor to take your picture. So I can look at you from inside as well."

Here is an Alzheimer's Test that I didn't get right.

Exercise Yard

The Indians finally made a move to shake things up, by firing Eddie Murray. Sort of a curious move, but it definitely cements Wedgie as the man in charge. I say curious, because in one week, two senior members of Wedge's coaching staff are now gone; Buddy Bell to Kansas City and Murray. Obviously, Murray was never considered for the Bench Coach position and maybe he made his feelings known on the subject. It had to be difficult for Shapiro to fire him, given his family's relationship with the guy. If you read between the lines on some of the comments, it appears that Wedge has been clamoring for that move for a while, and Shapiro was not convinced until recently and finally caved.

It is very difficult to put a value on a hitting coach. Two years ago, Murray was almost run out of town, but he had a veteran ballclub that didn't listen to him. Last year, it appeared he had turned it around with a young team, as the Indians had a pretty potent offense. This year, your guess is as good as mine. We cannot overlook Lawton and Vizquel at the top of the 2004 order. Remember, for all of his faults, Matt Lawton was near career highs in most of his offensive categories. Having said that though, his trade for Arthur Rhodes turned out to be a great move.

Yes, I get to bash Casey Blake again, because of his quotes this a.m. Mind you, Casey is hitting .188, whiffing every fifth time up. To paraphrase, "I used Eddie a little, but that's just me. I kind of do my own thing." My God, you have a Hall of Famer on the staff and you don't even consult with him? Jesus Christo, man, get your head out of your ass. I give Jody Gerut credit for realizing why they made the move, "a change in dynamics", but he also was very kind in his praise for Murray and the new hitting coach, as well. It does disturb me though that if you sign some guys to long-term deals in hopes of being leaders, (I mean you, Martinez and Hafner), they should be available for quotes on the firing, even if they preach the company gospel.

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44 Across: Actor Beatty (3 letters) Answer: Ned