I received an advert today from Microsoft Dialup. In my best Jim Mora voice, "Dialup? Dialup? Man, who uses that archaic technology anymore?" I wonder if it was delivered by Pony Express.

I assume Michael Jackson is celebrating his acquittal with a bunch of kids in a bathtub or something today. It was too creepy of a trial to watch. Here is a wrapup.

Is he a kid toucher? Yeah, probably, but maybe not in this case. Did the jury do their job? Yeah, probably, because they may have thought he had done it previously, but it wasn't proven in this case. Was it a waste of taxpayer money? Yeah, probably, because the family turned out to be insane and that obviously was a major issue for the jury. Quite frankly, Jacko should sell his publishing company, forget about a comeback and live out his years removed from the public eye. He's through.

Meal of Links

If you're David Stern, this has to kill you. "Dancing with the Stars" had better ratings than the NBA Finals. I don't get it. The Spurs and Pistons are the two best teams in the league.

It's starting. Some GOP Senators want to raise the retirement age to 69. Next time I see one, I'll punch him.

Mother Earth has a cousin. I call him Felix.

Exercise Yard

Despite an ankle injury, Hideki Matsui's streak may continue. If my public school math serves me correctly, he has played in (counting Japan) 1,637 straight games. If it counted, that would rank third all-time.

Visitor

17 Across: Pitcher who won 200-plus games while playing in four different decades, 1929-1953 (10 letters) Answer: Bobo Newsom (Might be the longest clue in history.)