What a way to spend your wedding day! I find this "Runaway Bride" story fascinating on several fronts.

Their registry.

Let's face it, she looks crazy.

Wedding numbers that approach Ruthian standards: 600 guests, 28 attendants.

The family, so public with their prayer circles during the drama, hiding when the truth comes out.

Various pictures of searches. You know, dumpster and sewer checking.

The shawl. It's tough doing a perp walk when you are not a perp, but that shawl! "I was kidnapped, but got a haircut."

The nutbag relative who said the wedding would be delayed. Uh, I think that's why she ran. They already filmed, "I Married an Axe Murderer".

In typical American fashion, the townsfolk turn on her. Instead of admitting they got punked and moving on, these people are demanding apologies, hoping she'll have to pay.

Look, she's safe and she's home. She's probably the first bride with cold feet who had her journey broadcast nationally. That's comedy gold, though. And she's not the first crazy person who was faking abduction. Remember the Wisconsin student from last year?

Meal of Links

Darth Vader has a blog.

The Jacko prosecution team has their own glove moment. It seems Jacko's ex-wife didn't say what they thought she would say. Uh-oh.

An actual line from the Adelphia guide yesterday. President Bush and Cedric the Entertainer speak at the White House Correspondents Association Dinner. Never thought I would see that.

Exercise Yard

On HBO last night, Toney beat Ruiz. Not a very exciting fight. I'm glad Toney is now a heavyweight champ, but he's gotta get in better shape. Thankfully, John Ruiz, who got booed on his way to the ring, is on the back burner.

Larry Merchant had two great lines last night. He is so good. Jim Lampley warned us that language from the Ruiz corner may be harsher than normal. Merchant: "Not if you watch "Deadwood"." More Merchant: "A nice crowd here tonight, and a few thousand of them might have actually paid for their tickets."

I like Dale Earnhardt, Jr., but, man, he caused a big wreck at Talladega today and it seemed to me that everyone, especially Fox, went out of their way to pussyfoot around the issue. The wreck only took out half the field.

Paul Hoynes with a "hat guy" blast in today's column.

OK, when hasn't Mike Sweeney not killed the Indians? The Tribe was lucky to even be in the game, because Jose Lima was getting unbelievably squeezed by the plate umpire. Fans should be worried because today's Royals lineup really sucked...and we still lost. Aaron Boone is taking his lumps, but we also have Blake at .178 and Martinez at .209. Only 4 hits for our team.

Visitor

None, it's Sunday.