Today is one of those days that makes you wanna start smoking. Really harsh stuff like unfiltered Camels. I took a day off because of all these errands I had to tend to. First stop, Sunnyside Toyota for my 15,000 mile maintenance check. Should take 75 minutes, I am there at 7:30. I do not like their waiting room (the size of a postage stamp), so I always opt to walk over to Dunkin' Donuts. It gives me time and room to do the crosswords, while I listen to how it is to be retired from the resident old-timers. You know, buying HDTVs but not the HDTV programming ("Why pay for only five channels?"), bitching about Mexicans, chattin' about golf. Tough life. Anyhow, I figure I'll finish the Friday puzzle and I should be back when the car is ready. Today's puzzle has all of these dumb clues for salad lovers. "Ring size, for salad lovers". Oh, I see, it's "Three Carrot". Pretty stupid, just stupid enough to take about an hour to finish. Not as bad as yesterday's clue, "Cinco de Mayo, MMV". "vslashvslashv" may have cracked the top 10 of all-time lousy answers. Anyhow, I get back about 8:50, no car. Finally about 9:10, I'm off. Who knows how long it sat there.

Then it was off to the local BMV for license and registration renewal. Another half an hour shot. Basically, you fill out forms, take your eye exam, get your sticker, get your photo for the license. When I walk in, only one waiting ahead of me. Yippee! But the old guy getting his license renewed either can't hear or is just plain stupid. The "would you like to donate to whatever cause?" questions absolutely stumped him. Are you kidding me? Then a woman couldn't pass her eye exam. I was next to her and the worker told her, "The line I am asking you to read contains none of those numbers." Uh-oh. It was like she was speaking Chinese. I'm already falling behind. So, I get my photo and then I wait and wait and wait some more. What I figured out was this: The next worker who takes a photo for someone's license hands you your license. In other words, I get a picture at a certain time. The employees wait on a bunch of folks, but they won't walk back to the photo machine until the next person for license renewal shows up. I was Number 81 when I got there. When I left, they were on 98. Unbelievable.

Then I head up to get my Daily Racing Form for the Derby. I don't see them on the counter. I ask the friendly counter guy, "Do you have tomorrow's Form?" He says, "Which one?" to which I sarcastically reply, "You know, the one with the Derby in it." Mr. Twenty Questions, "Sir, there are three Forms for tomorrow, which one do you need?" Great, now I'm speaking Chinese. By this time, steam from ears is visible. So I tell him, "A.M. Simulcast!" and he says, "They are right over there." And there they are, all three of them. Instead of pleasantly saying, "Hey, buddy, all of tomorrow's Forms are on the shelf over there, take which one you need.", I am talking to Mr. CIA. "Gimme the goddamn Form!"

Jeezy creezy. I had a dream the other day in which I smoked a pipe, maybe it was an omen.

BTW, hook up that iPod and listen to Betty Blowtorch. You finish mowing the lawn in record time. Or not so record time. My backyard was resembling a jungle, and it was just wet enough to stall the mower several times.

Meal of Links

Audioslave plays Cuba. I think that's kinda cool. "To those who speak Spanish..."

One of our own Most Wanted is collared in Akron.

Dick Cheney Fan Club has layed down some tracks. Fun for the whole family.

Exercise Yard

It's the Kentucky Oaks today and the Kentucky Derby runs tomorrow. It's kind of a Yankee weekend as Joe Torre has the favorite in the Oaks and George Steinbrenner has the Derby favorite. Let's try and beat the 4-5 Sis City in the Oaks, although it will be tough. Let's go with Summerly.

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