Gathered the troops for a late morning viewing of "Unknown" with Liam Neeson. Good morning, Liam. This is the one where Neeson is a doctor visiting Berlin for a conference, who gets rapped in the head and suffers some memory loss. The only thing he remembers is a picture of him by a window with his wife, January Jones. Showering with January Jones. And having sex with January Jones. And then January Jones with a different hair color. Maybe that's what we all picture before our own demise, who knows.

But it takes Neeson a long time to realize who he is, but then it's not who he thought he was or something that Dennis Green would say:



Neeson is actually decent in his role as a doctor seeking his true identity. Bridget von Hammersmark (OK, the lovely Diane Kruger) plays a Bosnian cab driver who saves Neeson's life after a car accident, who later befriends him and joins in his search. January Jones doesn't really do much and is basically January Jones, standing around and looking pretty. Aidan Quinn is along to confuse matters as the guy Neeson thinks he is, and provides enough shenanigans to cloud the picture even more. Hitler, I mean, Bruno Ganz, plays a former East German spy who still has connections beyond the Cold War to also help Neeson. Good work from Frank Langella who calmly shows up late as Clarissa, and explains it all.

So, what do we have here? A short comment on the immigration problem in Germany via Kruger. A car chase in which Neeson, allegedly in Berlin for the first time, driving around as if he owned the streets. With complimentary reverse driving. We have the lamest German assassin ever, who fails to kill Neeson not once (because the guy was late to a train), not twice (Neeson was able to extricate himself from being tied up), but three times (Kruger and Neeson combine to kill the guy). Ex-spies still use cyanide. Biotech conferences have never been this action-packed.

Not a wait for cable type movie. Because there are some great throwbacks done well here. The second time the assassin tries to get Neeson is rather Hitchcockian and full of suspense. I thought a scene at a photo exhibit was straight out of the De Palma Guide. Not worth a full fare, but extremely enjoyable for a matinee price.

Meal of Links

Clarissa explains it all. For those who missed it.

Brett Butler remembers when she was the 20th Century Charlie Sheen. But I'm sure hardly anyone remembers her show.

I assumed "Rango" was in 3-D. But it's not. Gore Verbinski explains.

Shortest break-even periods for diesels and hybrids. Remember, no more tax credits for these.

15 great jingles for fake products. "Cheesy Poofs" and "Log" make the list.

The Cleveland Film Festival is nearing. I've circled two must-sees for me. One on Polkas and one on Bobby Fischer.

Has Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker lost the war. We'll see.

The Northwestern sex show...er...after-class assignment, at least introduced everyone to the (NSFW) "fucksaw". Now I know why she needed a partner. Black & Decker would be proud. Here's an account by someone who was there. Seems there was supposed to be a demo on female ejaculation.

Comparing the Qaddafis and the Bluths. Very funny.

Why bad teachers survive? "Cannot play with them. Cannot win with them. Cannot coach with them. Can't do it."

I recommend Jersey Mike's. The Big Kahuna was quite good.

Exercise Yard

You still can't applaud in the pressbox. SI's freelance NASCAR writer found that out the hard way.

Visitor

17 Across: Five-time All-Star second baseman (10 letters) Answer: Chase Utley