Randomness from today's Browns home game:

Special Guest: None. There was absolutely no way I was going to today's game. I used the "pick up the paper" scheme as the deciding factor. If it was really cold, I wouldn't go in. Yes, it was cold.

Today's Opponent: The Cincinnata Bengals. As Forrest Gregg used to say when he coached here, "The Cincinnata Bengals" are a fine football team. Except these days, they are not. The Bengals are one of the few teams actually worse than the Browns this year.

Browns Version 2.3 hasn't scored since the Truman administration. We'll see who plays hard today and who shows up for a paycheck.

Parking: I did go Downtown for some pre-game and first half beers though. Parked on Prospect.

Browns Player on Ticket: Pro-Bowler (yeah, right) Joe Thomas. he may have threatened voters with a bear trap or something.

Pre-Game Festivities: I got my paper and had a banana. Then some beers.

Worst Feature (For Me): "Hang on Sloopy" at the end of the third quarter. I could hear it on the CBS broadcast. They showed fans singing. Braylon may be right.

The Weather: Freakin' cold.

Today's Giveaway: Major headaches and posterior pain for those who watched.

Section 345: On TV, I was amazed at how few people in my section actually showed up. It isn't a section of diehards but it was littered with no-shows, as was the entire park.

Best Browns Play: The Browns won the toss.

Best Bengals Play: Leon Hall's interception for a TD. Picture-perfect jumping of a route by a defender.

Worst Browns Play: Ken Dorsey's throw on that first Leon Hall interception. Baffling throw.

Second Worst Browns Play: The second Leon Hall interception. Horrific route running by Braylon Edwards compounded by a throw into triple coverage by Dorsey.

Worst Bengals Play: T.J. Houshmanzilly looked like he did not want to field any punts today. But he came dangerously close to having the ball touch him on numerous occasions.

Best Line from Me (as the game ended): "At least it was quick."

Best Line from a Random (actually Rich Gannon): "On days like these, the balls are as hard as rocks." I think he was referring to the pigskin.

Oddest Jersey: I actually saw a Bengal fan with a 94 Jumpy Geathers jersey.

Food Items: Beer and pizza.

Best Fan Cam Feature: Some chick had a sign that read, "At least we are not the Lions." Yeah, that'll get you on TV for sure, but that's sort of a sucky attitude.

The Fuckin' Run: Cedric Benson ran for 171 yards and the Bengals overall had 191. If that doesn't scream for help on defense, I don't know what does.

Worst Stat: The average pass play for the Browns gained 2 yards.

2nd Worst Stat: Four interceptions from Browns QBs today. Dorsey's QB rating was 28.2 (he had 28.3 against Philly). Gradkowski's rating was 8.3.

Most Interesting Stat: The Cincinnata Bengals threw the ball once in the second half. One time! This ain't 1958, but their offense looked like it today.

Penalties: The Browns had 9 penalties, with some killers in the first half.

Well, Romeo Crennel's last home game was probably not the farewell game he envisioned. For the second time in three years, the Bengals shut out the Browns at home. The 2006 was one of the worst games ever. This one was pretty bad, as well. The Browns won one home game this year.

No one showed up. Fans, players or coaches. An exercise in futility. Hopefully, all of the empty orange seats sent a message.

Browns are embarrassed, 14-0, by the lowly Bengals.

On the Ninth Day of Christmas...



("What's this, a Twisted Sister pin? On your uniform?")

Meal of Links

Did you use any buzzwords in 2008? In case you forgot, here are the latest ones.

Great band names of 2008. Is the Sisters Fibrosis taken yet?

All about beer goggles. They last longer on women.

Exercise Yard

Now, it's the Titans again as AFC favorites. The Browns lost to the new favorites, and play the old favorites, the Steelers, next week to close it out for 2008.

Visitor

None, it was freakin' cold today.