Last night, I got to attend the dreaded annual office event. Yes, it was our holiday party. In February, during Lent, so that means no meat. I guess December is too crowded for a party, so we have ours when you would least expect it. I say the event is dreaded, simply because it's the traditional thing to do, and it's difficult to spice these events up. But they turn out to be fun more times than not, running about 60-40 for the good. We started with drinks at Blue Point and then had dinner at Osteria. I'll get the Page Six stuff out of the way. K2, with his crutches, and his lovely bride were at Blue Point. Mike Fratello and Bob Serpentini were at Osteria. I did not see any canoodling amongst those parties.

My arrival at the shindig was tardy, because there was an accident on the Inner Belt, compounded by a rodeo at the Bart and I think the fundies had an event at Quicken. So, I had to exit at 22nd and loop around and then daydreamed on Lakeside and was forced back onto the Shoreway. You'd think I would know how to drive around here by now. Needless to say, I was at least 35 minutes late.

At Osteria, we had that Music Hall type seating where 20 or so sat in a really long row of tables. S. suggested that a few of us hang out at Blue Point just enough, so our seating was most assuredly non-assigned. She used the ladies room excuse. As luck would have it and all the irony that goes with it, S. and I then got to sit at the Little Kids Table. Yes, our table was shorter and not as wide as the others. I'm not talking a huge margin, but it was rather fitting. And, of course, we fully entertained our half of the tables. At one point I said Heather Mills would dance a mean Hokey Pokey on "Dancing with the Stars". May have been the drinks.

So, what was it like? Well, they have an Elvis for entertainment. Not a true Elvis impersonator, but someone who sings pretty much like him. In Act II, he did go for more of an imitation with the older Jumpsuit Elvis. Complete with sunglasses. Oh, he was many Elvi though. We had nicknames for virtually every song: Sweaty Elvis, Pre-Army Elvis, Gospel Elvis, Fat Elvis, Karate Elvis, Needle Hanging from Arm Elvis, Dead on Toilet Elvis, etc. The good thing about it was he wasn't loud or overly interrupting of the group. You didn't have to shout over him at all.

I'm trying to remember what the food was like because I was drinking alone with my Old Grand-Dad at Blue Point and Jim Beam at Osteria. I may have been the only one to go off the board, because there was wine. Lots of wine. Wine as far as the eye could see. Let's see, apps of mussels and calamari. Then I think there were plates of meats and cheeses, with a terrific parm and kickass olives. Then there was a salad. I think the main course consisted of veal, pork tenderloin and sea bass choices. The veggie was peas. Peas not in tuna. Of course, I had none of the meats, but the sea bass was unbelievably good and the peas could have been warmer. I liked that sea bass a lot.

There you have it. As office functions go, it wasn't bad.

Meal of Links

The list of guests on "American Idol" is released. No Bell Biv Devoe. Again.

A map of where single people are concentrated in the US. More men out west, more women in the east.

Where to find free music.

Exercise Yard

Today was "Take a Kid to a Game Day" at Cleveland State, so my niece accompanied the men in my family to the game, which Cleveland State won. They beat Youngstown State, 68-55, so she has never seen them lose. I think I need to work on her a little bit more on the sports angle. She said, "I don't want to be a cheerleader, I want to be a Mom." Some kids have different aspirations, I guess. But she did help me eat pie at Sokolowski's afterward, so maybe the instincts are there.

This was the final home game this year, so I'm free from this duty for another 8 months.

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33 Across: "Middlemarch" author (11 letters) Answer: George Eliot (a real looker)