I celebrated my niece's birthday today, albeit a couple of days late. Yep, Linda Blair (because she's so devilish) is now this many (holding up four fingers). She made no bones about me being tardy, as we discussed this yesterday over the phone.

Kind Uncle: "How was your birthday?"
Linda Blair: "Fine."
Kind Uncle: "Did you get lots of presents?"
Linda Blair: "Well, not exactly."
Kind Uncle: "Whaddaya mean, not exactly?"
Linda Blair: "Well, YOU didn't get me anything."

Ouch.

Anyhow, today I witnessed her put glitter and glue and Hi-C into her ice cream and we played some games tonight. Fun times for all. Make no mistake, I kicked her ass in some sort of Hungry Frogs game, but she cheated. And some how in her world, nine is greater than ten. But I know God was watching and that's all that matters to me as far as my Won-Loss record goes.

But she left me with this bit of advice. "Remember, when you go to the bathroom, never let them see your peepee." A credo we can all follow.

Meal of Links

The Gawker Stalker Map is terrific. How else would you know that Andy Rooney was seen eating sushi with Hideki Matsui?

Naomi Campbell keeps throwing shit at the help. That's not very nice.

The Replacements are back! Well, kind of, sort of.

Exercise Yard

Buster Olney's Blog on ESPN.com is one of the best. Today, he rips MLB's steroids probe. Rightfully so. I'm sure the commisssioner is going to get the answers to some tricky questions. Namely, why did the Lords of the Game turn their heads away from rampant steroid use for all those years?

Visitor

15 Across: Four-time Formula One champion Prost (5 letters) Answer: Alain