First of all, I knew Bush was in Pakistan. Not sure why I thought he was hosting Musharraf in DC. And I take that back about Phil, he only bogeyed 18 yesterday. He shot a 73 today, BTW.

Last minute Oscar picks:

Picture: "Capote"
Director: Lee
Actor: Hoffman
Actress: Witherspoon. I changed from Huffman, because no one saw that film.
Supporting Actor: Giamatti
Supporting Actress: Weisz

I'm gonna try and give it a go and get some commentary going later.

Oscar Wrapup

It's Oscar night and here we are at the 78th Annual Academy Awards. I'm not too excited about the show, and I'm watching at home, in case I need to change the channel. It's scheduled for three hours, we'll see how close they are on time this year. It's HDTV by Sony, Caffiene Diet/Cherry Coke combos by Coca-Cola, and I constructed my very tasty BBQ pizza with jalapeno, banana pepper and pepperoni. Ginger root at the ready, in case of indigestion.

Pre-show stuff. Paul Giamatti and Will Ferrell made me laugh. Isaac Mizrahi asked Giamatti if he did anything special for the evening and he said, "Yeah, I brushed my teeth and I showered." Will Ferrell was asked if he cried during "Brokeback Mountain". He admitted that he laughed so disturbingly loud throughout the movie, he scared the other patrons.

8:00 A nice beginning that made me laugh. They had previous hosts refusing the hosting gig. The Steve Martin/David Letterman bit made me howl. Martin says he needed to spend time with his two children (wearing white-haired wigs), so they "wouldn't grow up weird". Letterman said he needed to spend time with Steve Martin's children, so they "wouldn't grow up weird".

8:05 Stewart's monologue had some hits and some misses, but I laughed more often than not.

8:14 A short film about old Westerns that had gay overtones. That was a hoot.

8:16 Nicole Kidman presents Supporting Actor. Lemme say this, that is a good lookin' woman. George Clooney wins for "Syrianna", a movie I didn't see. "OK, so I'm not winning Director." made me laugh. Will someone shut off that music during acceptances.

8:25 Tom Hanks (with that Da Vinci cut) in a funny bit, demonstrates how not to make an acceptance speech. The orchestra ends up on stage and the clarinet guy shoots a dart at him.

















8:26 Stiller!! He is presenting Visual Effects. He has a green suit on for "green screen" effects, instead of "blue screen". You see, he thinks he's invisible as he mentions his "disembodied head", but he's not. I am on the floor. "King Kong" wins. I saw it. What is going on with that music?

8:31 Reese Witherspoon presents Animated Feature. "Wallace and Grommit" wins. Didn't see it.

















8:34 Naomi Watts shows up. Omigod, she's Australian. That's a joke. Dolly Parton sings the "Transamerica" song. Boy, her plastic surgeon must be a rich man.

8:40 Diet Coke ad. Does anyone drink pop these days without weird effects happening? Christ, I keep seeing the Jimmy Fallon/Parker Posey ad where soda makes them dance. My concoction is making me do laundry, as we speak.

8:42 The Wilson Brothers for Live Action Short. They film drop "Bottle Rocket", of course. They got $5 million to make it and it grossed $1 million. "Six Shooter" wins. Didn't see it.

8:45 Chicken Little and Abby Mallard for Animated Short Film. Cute bit about animated ducks not wearing pants. "The Moon and The Sun" wins. Didn't see it. The music during acceptances has made me officially insane.

8:48 Jennifer Aniston presents Best Costume. I've noticed the show seems to be moving quickly. "Memoirs of a Geisha" wins. Didn't see it.

8:51 Russell Crowe without a phone. I like him. He presents clips about biopics. Hey, there's Helen Keller. "No more wire hangers...ever!". "Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth."

8:57 Will Ferrell and Steve Carrell present Makeup. And they are made up horribly. The deadpan approach works hilariously. "Narnia" wins. Didn't see it. Red Vines and Mr. Pibb are crazy delicious.

9:02 Rachel McAdams presented the Science Awards two weeks ago. Stewart says the party is still going on.

9:03 Morgan Freeman arrives. He is not wearing a tie, as he hands out Supporting Actress. Who is Amy Adams? Rachel Weisz wins. Gorgeous lady, but I didn't see her film.

9:11 Lauren Bacall is on stage. Ah, that voice. But she seems to be getting confused as she moves along. Should have worn glasses, I'd bet. I liked the fact that Jack waved to her as she arrived at the podium. Lots of film noir clips. They don't make 'em like that anymore. Cue Kihn.

9:17 Nice "Best Actress" clip on their first names, run like political ads.

9:18 Terence Howard presents Doc Shorts. Some "Norman Corwin" short wins. I didn't see it.

9:21 Charlize Theron looks great. Doc feature is her category. I've actually seen two of these. Go "Murderball"! "March of the Penguins" wins. I didn't see it.

9:25 J-Lo is on stage talking about "Crash". Didn't see it. She introduces the song, "In The Deep" from "Crash". Time to reload the washer.

9:32 Hey, it's fave rave Sandra Bullock with Keanu Reeves. Art Direction is their award. I'm guessing Keanu took some "Matrix" dollars and got his eyes done. I am not kidding, as he looks really Asian these days. Sandy, of course, has not had any work done. "Memoirs of a Geisha", now known as "MOG", wins. Didn't see it.

9:36 Samuel L. is on. "Oscars, mothafucka, do you speak it?" It's politically-oriented clips. "They call me Mister Tibbs." A clip from "The Candidate", yes! "Network"!!! BTW, Jack is in at least five of these clips.
















9:44 It's Salma and her Hayeks! Has her English gotten worse? I'm not sure I care, as her Hayeks are still going strong. Bill Conti gets some props for shooing winners off the stage, I mean, conducting the orchestra for 18 years. Itzhak Perlman gives us the Yo-Yo Ma portion of the program by playing the nominated scores. Not the entire scores, it just seems that way. The winner is "Brokeback Mountain", I saw it. Still cannot believe Morgan Freeman didn't wear a tie. Maybe it's for the folks of Mississippi. I'm sure we'll find out.

9:56 It's Jake Gyllenhaal with a hard G. Get your mind out of the gutter, I meant his name. He basicially gives us a PSA for going to the movies by showing clips from big screen epics.

10:00 It's Jessica Alba (Wow!) and Eric Bana. She is out of control hot. Sound Mixing Award goes to "King Kong". I saw it. It was loud.

10:03 Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep present Robert Altman with his Special Oscar in the inimitable Altman style. It's terrific. Altman gets a standing O, Bacall did not. He truly is one of the all-timers. His next film, "Prairie Home Companion" is out this summer.

10:18 It's the "Pimpin" song from "Hustle and Flow". We get a production number, because "Pimpin' ain't easy."

10:22 Queen Latifah arrives from Pizza Hut to hand out Best Original Song. The "Pimpin'" song wins. Omigod, we get the first bleep of the night and even Gil Cates gets a thank you. As does Jesus. Didn't see this one either.

10:26 Sound Editing gets the "Best Actress" name treatment. Hey, Jennifer Garner has breasts! They all come out to present the award. What loud movie did I see? "King Kong" and it wins.

10:30 Academy Award winner George Clooney presents the "Dead People Roll Call". Of course, Richie was last.

10:38 Will Smith presents Foreign Film to "Tsotsi". The South African director tells us to go to tsotsi.com to see all the folks who worked on the film. Didn't see it or the website.

10:41 Ziyi Zhang presents Film Editing. She has been working on her English, but not her Hayeks. "Crash" wins, but I didn't see it.



















10:44 Hilary Swank and her great body present Best Actor. It goes to Hoffman for "Capote". I saw it and he was most deserving.

10:54 John Travolta presents Cinematography. "MOG" wins, I didn't see it. Right before the announcement, an open mike picks up someone saying "Here we go." Maybe the Oscars director?

10:57 Jamie Foxx presents Best Actress. Reese Witherspoon wins for "Walk the Line". I saw this. Joaquin gets some props. I thought her acceptance was a bit goofy, but charming.

11:07 Here come the screenplay awards with Dustin Hoffman up first. Last time he presented, he was hammered. Best Adapted Screenplay goes to "Brokeback Mountain". I saw it. I am shocked it won. Not really. Geez, Larry McMurtry is wearing jeans. Huh?

11:12 It's "Uma, Jerry. Uma!" with Original Screenplay. "Crash" wins and Paul Haggis quotes Brecht. His partner gets cut off from speaking. Didn't see this movie.

11:19 Tom Hanks again. This time for real and it's for Director. Ang Lee wins for "Brokeback Mountain", which I saw. Ang Lee appears to have chalk all over his tux. WTF? Is there a blackboard at the Kodak Theater?

11:22 They get Jack, the coolest guy in the room, to present Best Picture. Spielberg knows he has no chance. "Crash" wins. Didn't see it and I'm not sure if I saw a wardrobe malfunction. I think I didn't, but I don't know. The woman on stage thanked her husband AND her wife. I am confused. Say, Penelope Cruz definitely worked on her English for her L'Oreal ad.

11:29 Overall, an entertaining show. Stewart probably soft-pedaled things, but there were too many weird soda ads and "Bang A Gong" started popping up on JCPenney ads. Jon Stewart thanks us and hopes we all make it home safely. I bid you "Good night and good luck!"

Meal of Links

Speaking of movies, here is one person's view of the top five sports tearjerkers. What, no "Brian's Song"? Hey, I know it was a TV movie, but come on. "Hoop Dreams" brings sanity to the list.

If you wanna play some cowbell, go here. "Never question Bruce Dickinson."

This year's Razzies. Looks like Ebert's review was spot on.

Exercise Yard

Great sports night for TV viewing last night. I watched Duke-Carolina and DVR'ed the two boxing matches. Then watched the game again on replay this a.m. as it was a huge win for the Tar Heels. On HBO, Cotto beat Branca in the 8th. The Lacy-Calzaghe Showtime fight was a clinic, as Joe Calzaghe turned Jeff "Left Hook" Lacy into "No Hook" Lacy. That was a big unification bout and Calzaghe almost threw a shutout, as Lacy did nothing.

Hard to imagine another championship bout where one guy dominated so much. Oh yeah, we've seen early championship KO's, but for 12 rounds, Calzaghe whipped Lacy's ass. Telling corner commentary after Round 2, when his corner was giving instructions and Joe said, "He's shit." Then repeated it for effect. After Round 8, his Dad and trainer said, "You're the number one pound-for-pound fighter in boxing, you've got four rounds to fuck it up." It was an extraordinary bout, and you just don't hear "a great round for the Welshman" that often in boxing.

Visitor

None, it was a rid the 2 inches of salt from my car Sunday.