I was at the Bart for a rare Monday night CSU hoops game. Today's opponent: The dreaded Zips of Akron. The Vikings were riding a two-game winning streak that had the streets filled with bewildered people (and not because the parking lot at Becky's has switched sides), looking upward for a sign, any sign that the world was not ending. The sign was delivered as Akron won, 62-50.

I went with Nomar Stalker who said it was the worst shooting team he has ever seen. Could be, but he didn't go to any games last year. CSU was up 17-10 with 12 minutes left in the first half, when Akron slapped a zone on them. It appeared the Vikings had never seen one before. "What means this zone?" they wondered aloud to the basketball gods. The gods laughed their asses off, as CSU stood in amazement and passed the ball around the perimeter for the next 12 minutes and scored 1 point during that time and trailed 27-18 at halftime. "Enough!", said the basketball fans. "Save us from this display.", they shouted. And the gods were appeased and provided halftime entertainment.

It is well known that I loathe mascots. But the highlight tonight came at halftime when all of the local mascots, sans Slider, played a basketball game. We had Vike, of course. Zippy from Akron U., Moondog from the Cavs, Wheelie (I have no idea where the hell that was from), a Mister Chicken guy in a rented chicken suit (a nod to a sponsor), Orbit from the Akron Aeros, Skipper from the Lake County Captains, the Barons mascot Sandshark(?), and representing the human race was a little girl who won the first half Chicken Dance contest. There is something about mascots when they appear in a group like that makes me laugh uncontrollably. Much like monkeys when they dress up. We decided that Zippy's costume prevented full vision, because he would be running around, completely oblivious to the ball which crossed his path several times without any sort of reaction. Oh, it was hijinks aplenty. Much more enjoyable than the game.

Meal of Links

Does anyone care about Miss America anymore? It's now in Vegas and on CMT. The tradition continues.

California is set to execute some old-timer. No question, he's a bad guy. But they have to take him out of a wheelchair before they inject him.

Pete Doherty gets arrested. Again. Cue up Lindsey Buckingham. "I think I'm in trouble."

Exercise Yard

Emily Litella, head of NFL officals says, "Never mind."

Visitor

37 Across: Conductor Georg (5 letters) Answer: Solti