Went to lunch today at the local Chinese restaurant close to where I work. It's the standard-issue buffet place where someone dips the white rice shovel onto their plate that already has sauce on it, then proceeds to put that shovel back in the rice maker, so everyone avoids the rice that has the sauce on it. You know, like burrowing down one side of a jar of peanut butter. It's a place where we ask the waitress if they have Pezzy or Coke. The kind of place that has "Mustar Sauce" for your egg rolls. Need I say more?

Why, yes and I will. It was the first time the check came without any fortune cookies. I've always felt that some company made the fortune cookie delivery say, in 1962, and stocked enough until the year 3000 and beyond. So, we were very surprised we came up empty. What is the proper etiquette? We started looking at other tables to see if they stumbled upon the same fate. Do you ask the staff and risk some ancient Chinese secret about fortune cookie inquiries? Do you not leave your table, hoping they recognize their mistake? Do you continually order more Pezzy, or in this case, Coke?

Trust me, it's very difficult to leave without knowing what my 5 newest lucky numbers were or what the Chinese word for lampshade is.

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It seemed like a good name at the time.

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The largest steroid bust ever took place the other day. Lots of people arrested. Raffy Palmiero seen pointing a finger.

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