Monday, December 05, 2005

Randomness from yesterday's Browns home game:

My cousin Ron was the day's special guest. Browns Version 2.3 was coming off a putrid performance against the Vikings, but this game marked the debut of Charlie Frye as the starting QB. The opponent: The Jacksonville Jaguars. The last time they visited was in 2001 for "Bottlegate". I also had Bloody Marys before I went to confession that day, but that's a story for another time.

The weather was typically December. A clipper blew in about 4-6 inches of fluffy snow in the a.m. It was cold and not that windy. Plenty of sunshine late in the day.

The giveaway: Finally, a freebie! The local Chevy dealers ponied up some cash and supplied all of us with brown Santa hats.

Not many smells, because of the cold.

The Browns defense did them in yesterday. Charlie Frye did pretty well with the vanilla offense they gave him. It seemed we were stuck in a pattern of 1st and 2nd down runs and 3rd down passes. Frye and Braylon Edwards have some sort of weird connection. I don't know what it is, but they match up extremely well in the passing game, and Edwards had two TDs. Defense played pretty well in the first half, awful in the third quarter, and OK at the end. Orpheus Roye dominated his man all day. The killer was David Garrard running for 28 yards on a 3rd-and-19 to kill any chance at a win. He's a QB and we didn't have a spy on him. What were they thinking?

The G.E. Smith Band may have been there. But I have an Adidas winter hat that blocks out all G.E. Smith-related noise, so I'm a bit sketchy on that one.

Tame crowd in Section 345. Except for the two guys who proudly wore Jacksonville jerseys and were hit with quite a few snowballs.

Best line from me (after Ron called the Back Judge an asshole): "Why, that would be Mr. Asshole to you." Several people laughed at that. Not sure why. I'll be here all week, try the veal.

Best line from a random (at the end of the first quarter, apparently his first game): "Is it halftime?"

Oddest Browns jersey: Not many visible jerseys. But two rows in front of me, an adult was wearing a Looney Tunes jacket. I love Looney Tunes, but it looked out of place on an adult.

Best shirt: "Hines Ward is a little bitch" b/w "Puck Fittsburgh".

No in-game purchases for me. I shared a couple of beers with Ron and by God, he brought in a flask containing Crown Royal. Happy days.

The Village Idiot, Jeff Tanchak, had microphone problems for his bit. Tech crew needs to get on that. There are two games left! "It's cold, people."

Best Browns play: I think Braylon Edwards second TD was nice. The defender fell down and Frye zipped one in there on a post pattern for six points.

Not many boas, but lots of people sported that giveaway on their heads.

Best Fan Cam picture: I liked the two guys who were dressed as super-sized "Charlie's Fryes".

Worst stat: Cannot stress it enough. Garrard for a 28-yard run on a third-and-19 with 2:09 left. Insert dagger.

2nd worst stat: I believe the Browns ran 11 times on first down in the first half. Somehow that translated to a 14-3 lead.

3rd worse stat: The Browns rushed for 3.1 per attempt.

The Browns played an OK game. Roye was outstanding and Frye was good. Droughns had 89 yards, but didn't average three a carry. We also gave up a 100-yard rusher and let another backup QB, Garrard, beat us. And Edwards ripped up us knee, so that kinda sucked. The Browns lose 20-14, go to 4-8, and visit the dreaded Bengals next week.

Meal of Links

John Lennon's death was preceded by some unfortunate events that caused him to be DOA. We were watching "Monday Night Football" when Cosell broke the news.

Tom Delay had his conspiracy charge tossed out. But they kept the money laundering charges open. And that means he doesn't get his leadership position back. He'll just have to suck on it and like it.

All of the Westin hotels have banned smoking. That covers the USA, Canada and the Caribbean.

Exercise Yard

The bowl winners and losers in the matchups. Oregon took a huge hit.

Visitor

19 Across: Michael of "A Fish Called Wanda" (5 letters) Answer: Palin

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You normally post right after the game. When you didn't, I grew concerned (as my mother would say) "we might find you in a ditch". I later guessed that you, Big Dog and Bone Lady were probably at the hospital lighting candles and praying for yet another troubled Browns first rounder and the ghosts of first rounders past. PFS

Anonymous said...

5 letter word isn't TEXT, it's PALIN. BTW several typos, were you still tipsy from the smuggled Crown Royal?

Jim said...

Michael Palin's nickname is TEXT. Vicious clue, I'd say.