Isolation Thought

You can have some interesting conversations in a bar with friends. Last night, we confirmed the long-debated theory that single people don't make mashed potatoes. Astrologically speaking, I think I once had Jupiter, now I don't. I'm not sure what I was supposed to do with Jupiter when I did have it, and I hope someone would tell me when it comes back. I still have a Sydney Omarr horoscope from my birthday in 1998 wherein "Members of the opposite sex find you devastatingly attractive." Did I have Jupiter then? But Sydney's dead, and he's not going to tell people on their birthdays that they suck, will he? That's bad for sales, one would think.

But another topic was sex toy parties for the ladies. What intrigues me about this is not necessarily the products, but the process. Number one, a la Tupperware, you're probably forced to buy something. Even if it's some lotion or gag gift. Although, in this case, I guess you could buy a gag. You know you're in trouble if your purchase requires 8 D batteries AND Tim Allen to start it up. Certain things enter my brain about this kind of stuff. I'm reminded of the old Dyna-Gym commercials from the 70's: "I'll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home." and I wonder if the sales rep has actually tried all of the items and maybe you can stump her with some obscure reference. I imagine there's a fair amount of giggling during the "Doc Johnson" portion of the program, then some product appears and the crowd descends into a "What's that?" sort of "I think I struck gold." kind of hushed murmur. I get a picture of at least one person in the group, talking like she's on "Jeopardy" who can vouch for a lot of the products. Kind of like the friend who knows way too much about porn. "Gee, I've tried the OrgasMax 7500, Alex, and I find their customer support to be top-notch." or "Alex, I find it works much better when you stand on your head." as everyone else runs for cover.

Or you could go online to sites like "Stormy Leather". Don't get any ideas, I haven't bought anything from there, but whips for $170? If I pay $170 for a whip, something is gonna get whipped. Maybe a carpet, a passerby, but something or someone will feel the wrath of the horsehair.

Meal of Links

Sinead O'Connor says, "Stop calling me crazy."

Dogs are pretty cool. Now they can detect bladder cancer.

Two galaxy clusters blowed up real good.

Exercise Yard

Lance still hasn't been paid for winning the "Tour de France". Something about doping.

Visitor

37 Across: Best actor of 1958 (5 letters) Answer: Niven