Isolation Thought

I was at the Indians game this afternoon with a bunch of people from work. It was the worst game I've seen this year. We got beat by Rico Rodriguez, a former Tribe pitcher, who only threw a three-hit shutout. And Scott Elarton is now one game from tying a major league record for most starts to begin a season without a win, now at 14. As I said when we got him, "He has no noodle." Bah!! The highlight for me was the Smoothie Drinking Contest between three kids. Easily causing massive, near-fatal brain freeze (who thinks up these stunts?) amongst the contestants, I was rooting for the Asian boy (I called him Kobayashi), who clearly won, but was declared a co-winner by the judge. And my choice onion lost to ketchup in the Hot Dog Race. It was the suckiest game that ever sucked. Bah!!

Then I'm kicked in the gut when I find out Carlos Boozer signs with Utah. Oh, that'll go over well. Plus, the contract is as front-loaded as Pam Anderson, so we got problems in River City. That begins with P and rhymes with Z, and that's about the only way we keep Boozer, by trading Z. Bah!!

Meal of Links

What is up with Bowie? Now word has it that he had heart surgery in Germany last month. See, it all started with that damn lollipop to the eye. Or was it Kevin Spacey walking his dog (OK, we didn't forget about that already, did we?)?

Tinseltown doesn't even make up shit anymore. We give you Police Academy 8. I guess sound effects guy needed work. The sound I hear is the audience retching.

Washington, DC doesn't even make up shit anymore. We give you Terror Alert 8. Come on, this is not politically motivated? What better way to knock the D's off of the front page than with a good old terror alert. One in which the color doesn't even change. BTW, Roy G. Biv is pissed at that. Ridge's briefing today apes the Ashcroft briefing of late May, a la Jayson Blair. They are so tired, they had to go back to a worn out script.

Exercise Yard

This day is not getting better. My favorite player on my favorite hockey team, Joe Thornton, decides to sign with some damn Swiss team. WTF? Bruin GM Mike O'Clueless says he didn't know anything about Joe leaving. Someone may want to wake this dude up. Only the fourth Bruin to leave since the end of the season. Glen Murray will be No. 5. Wake up, clown. Bah!!

Visitor

3 Down: "The Simpsons" neighbor Flanders (3 letters) Answer: Ned