As I watched the Preakness yesterday, the one thing that stood out aside from the race was a shot from the blimp. It appeared that hardly anyone was in the infield. And that was the backstory of the race, attendance dropped 35,000 in one year. Many issues abound. Maryland horse racing has been in turmoil for years regarding slots, the track owner is in bankruptcy, horse racing dying, etc.

But the main reason for the attendance drop...lack of beer. Or should I say a lack of bringing your own beer. The infield had been known as a knockdown, drag out beerfest and this year ownership said nope, it's over. They decided to charge $3.50 for a 16-oz. Bud (incredibly reasonable for any sporting event in America, I might add. FYI, Cleveland State charged $5 this past season) and $1 Bud Lights in the morning and no one showed up. I guess they thought security would limit the amount of beer you could drink. Gee, they should go to a Browns game.

As for the race itself, it was historic. The filly, Rachel Alexandra won, beating the Derby winner, Mine That Bird, who was flying at the end. Another strange thing. That exacta, 13-2, paid $39.20, and to get that price for two of the top favorites seemed like stealing to me.

The Belmont remains a puzzle. I think Mine That Bird goes. To hear RA's jockey, Calvin Borel, talk after the race, not sure about her chances. And trainer Steve Asmussen has a Horse of the Year contender and probably sits out. Third place finisher, Musket Man, will not go either. BTW, Borel becomes to first jockey to win two Triple Crowns races in the same year with different mounts.

Meal of Links

Two employees were caught peeing in Old Faithful. That's some geyser.

"It's All Pipes"



Terry Pluto just figured out the Browns can't run the ball nor defend the run. Uh, where's he been?

Iggy does Christmas.

Woman was arrested for not holding an escalator rail. Happened in Montreal.

Churches as small businesses. Pretty high fail rate.

The Indians finally cut the cord with Masa Kobayashi. Hopefully, he goes elsewhere to pitch and not back to Columbus. Do you realize we had a club option on this stiff for 2010? One of the worst signings of the Shapiro Era. Basically bid against themselves for a guy who was not even the closer in his final half-season in Japan. They could have asked his manager, Booby Valentine. He speaks English. As I've said ad nauseum, the fans were sold a bill of goods on this guy. David Dellucci now assumes the hot seat. If Travis Hafner's rehab goes well, he's done.

To replace Masa, the Tribe called up David Huff. Only this past week, I heard Huff was not throwing as hard as the Indians would like, still topping out at 89.

James A. Garfield lost his head. His statue had just been moved to Hiram and he became headless 24 hours later. In the PD, the Hiram President curiously defended students as being the culprits. Huh?

Exercise Yard

Manchester United wins the EPL. Again.

Randy Lerner's Other Team really spit the bit at the midway mark. They have only won 2 league games since February 1.

Next week, it's the final week of the season. Therefore, relegation time. Newcastle is the biggest team in the drop zone.

Visitor

None, it's a cool sunny Sunday.

Luis Vizcaino joins the club. First batter he faces, game-winning homer. And it was hammered.

Wedgie is now starting to walk down the path that is a precursor of many a manager or head coach's demise: Calling out players.

That's something he rarely does and it's sort of listed as one of his assets. I mean, even the beloved Sam Rutigliano fell into that trap with the Browns before he was axed.

But Wedge had these words for Jensen "Keep pumpin' that fastball" Lewis: "If you're going to make it up here, you can't miss spots by a foot to a foot and a half and expect to have success. We're up against it right now, but he's got to pitch. If you miss, you have to miss in the right area. You certainly can't miss by a foot and a half to two feet. That's ridiculous."

Just this morning, he was quoted as saying, "I was really encouraged with the way (Jensen) Lewis and (Matt) Herges threw the ball (Tuesday)."

He's losing it, folks.

Meal of Links

Wolfgang's Vault has recently added a lot of Tubes concerts available for download. These live shows are representative of the type of entertaining shows they were famous for back then. Check out New Year's Eve at the Winterland especially. Stanford band doing "Living in the USA". "I Love Lucy", a Crime Theme medley segueing into "Mondo Bondage"! Terrific version of "Slipped My Disco". WPOD, of course. A band that continues to be criminally underplayed. They are back at Tangier in October this year.

The Summer of 1988 at the movies. Probably the best find that summer? "Midnight Run". I do recall I saw Morgan Freeman for the first time in "Clean and Sober". Saw "The Last Temptation of Christ" in Montreal that summer. There was a bigass theatre in our hotel and I remember it being the rage. Odd fact: "Die Hard" and "A Fish Called Wanda" opened up the same week. "Die Hard" on only 21 screens and "Wanda" on 3. That is hard to fathom in 2009. "Bambi" and "Dead Pool" same week, as well.

Look who still uses the death penalty.

25 controversial movies. "Warriors" at #14, but "The Da Vinci Code"? Yikes! Oddly enough, "The Last Temptation of Christ" clocks in at #6. Good times for Barbara Hershey. Mary Magdalene and Harriet Bird in a short timeframe. Caviezel is Number One.

"The Bartender Hates You"



"Jam Wow"



Exercise Yard

One kid's incredibly long story on catching someone's first major league homer in Miller Park. It's not like the guy asked for season tickets or anything.

Visitor

62 Across: Money with hits (5 letters) Answer: Eddie (Ohio State Fair this year!)

What is it about Marc's that brings out my inner Mr. Crankypants? Last night, I stop in for only a few items, including Goldfish. As the cashier is scanning the items, I grab a bag and start packing. She puts some Baked Lays in a bag and starts asking hysterically, "Where's the Goldfish? Where's the Goldfish?".

I tell her, "Hey, I already packed 'em."

Her reply, "You're messin' me up."

I told her, "Hey, I'm in a bit of a hurry and, quite frankly, I am actually helping you out by packing."

She said and not snottily, I may add, "Well, there's a void anyhow, so you'll have to wait a bit longer."

I ended up giving her the Goldfish, because I am not sure I would have received the bag any quicker.

I mean, is it just me? Because this place is killin' me.

Meal of Links

Wilco's new album is streaming. It has some keepers on it.

Man, this is a lot of catching up with Richard Bey. Cue up "The Way We Were". Him and Wally George...the lunatic fringe.

Beware of The Claw! He can show up without warning.

A Wolfram Alpha tutorial. Looks kinda neat.

Dissecting "The Big Lebowski". Yes, in true cult fashion, it still holds up. December 5 at the Cedar-Lee.

The WBWC Music Marathons have started up again. Today, it's Talking Heads.

Visual proof that there are two Blue Jays fans dressing as umpires at some of their games. First noticed this against the Tribe last week and laughed out loud at their antics.

I stopped at Sheetz today for some gas and some lunch. Two new items on the food menu. Grilled flatbread sammies and pizza. Pizza goes for $2.79 a slice or 2/$5. I had a ham and provolone flatbread sammie. Pretty good.

The Hermitage in Nashville has America's Best Bathroom. Somewhere, George Costanza nods his approval.

I got the e-mail to try and save Paste Magazine. It's a wonderful thing to read, but I'm very conflicted about donating.

Exercise Yard

Bill Simmons chats it up with Malcolm Gladwell. Gladwell always makes me think.

Visitor

65 Across: "Hungarian Rhapsodies" composer (5 letters) Answer: Liszt

I was down at Progressive Field last night as the Indians won, 9-4. Gale and I actually saw Carl Pavano work into the 7th inning! The guy has unbelievably turned into the second-best starter on the team. But it was a terrible crowd. You could tell when I parked close to East 9th on Prospect around 6:00.

The crowd was listed as 14,000, but trust me, there were not that many people there. And these were on that half-price ticket plan and they still couldn't draw. I admit it was cold and the Indians suck, but it was mindful of an early 1994 crowd. I understand the cold part, because I am still fighting my cold. Thought I had it licked late last week, but over the weekend it had returned. Jee-zus, this has been hard to shake. Anyhow, they are really pushing the Tampa series, starting on Memorial Day, for tickets. However, the Yankees, Cardinals and Reds show up in late May/June, so that should temporarily allay any temporary attendance woes.

Couple thoughts about last night:

First time I had seen or heard any mention of Albert Belle in quite a while. They showed his memorable 1995 grand slam off of Lee Smith accompanied by Herb Score's call (where was that Opening Day?). He's been poison for quite a while.

"Hang On Sloopy" was referred to as an "Ohio tradition". Ugh!

Aaron Laffey may become Pavano's "personal reliever".

Ryan Garko has been warming up pitchers between innings as a reminder to Eric Wedge that he is still on the team.

A female in front of us had one of those Hulk Hand Cup Holders on. If anything looked like it could be sold behind the curtain at an Indians team shop under the (ahem) "Novelty" banner, this is it.

Today, the Indians announced the return of Spork No. 1. On a team of Sporks (Matt Laporta now a first baseman), this is significant. And to hear Wedge say that said Spork is a candidate to hit leadoff, is he officially certifiable?

Meal of Links

What makes us happy? A cool report on a 72-year Harvard study.

Jack White takes Dead Weather on tour. Cleveland date? Of course not.

Jesse Ventura derides Cheney. He'd waterboard him, if given the chance.

Dude, don't Bogart them Cheerios.

The changing of the guard in Afghanistan. Not many times is a General publicly fired.

God help us. An "American Gladiators" movie has been announced.

Exercise Yard

The Bruins force Game 7. Quite simply, they have to win or it's another lost season.

Visitor

2 Down: "Deal or No Deal" host Mandel (5 letters) Answer: Howie

I found myself watching some absurd movie on Channel 5 yesterday afternoon. It was called "Abducted". I had mowed the lawn and just finished grilling some burgers when I joined this flick about 30 minutes in. I don't know, this plot is right out of Lifetime (I guess it is), but a warden allows an inmate to escape with the proviso that he kidnaps and then kills the warden's wife.

Of course, when the woman finds out about the plan (the inmate had a tape the warden had made inadvertently while blackmailing him. Yeah, that bad.), she falls in love with the guy and has mad abduction sex with him. Did I forget to say the inmate was framed by his ex-wife and her boyfriend for killing a man who wasn't really dead. Oh, the prosecutorial malfeasance of that case! Anyhow, they go on the run for a while and try to find the "dead" guy.

Now all of that isn't why this movie will be memorable for me. It's this scene they had at the local Western Union-type office. The inmate and warden's wife stroll in and ask the clerk to check on a transfer made two years ago. They had the receipt, but remember the inmate has no ID. The clerk tells them she can't do it, "How do I know you're not dumpster diving for identity theft?" Ooh, cutting.

Then the warden's wife notices the clerk was eyeing a shoe ad. So, she slips her some cash and says, "Nice shoes." The clerk gets the hint and says, "Oh, transfers that big will definitely remain in the system. Here it is." She says the guy's name and then says, "I can get you an address and a drivers license number."

I know, I know. It's only a movie. But the clerk seemed awfully principled on identity theft 30 seconds prior and I get that everyone has their price. But why not just give the name and address, why go with the drivers license number, as well? I wondered if they even read the script. It seemed to go way beyond what a bribed low-level clerk would do. I'm surprised she didn't join them and look for the guy.

Meal of Links

A picture of a men's bathroom in Vancouver.

"1984". The book that killed George Orwell.

The NBA finally admits it. They blew a call. But then do nothing about it.

If David Lynch Directed "Dirty Dancing"



Exercise Yard

The Indians are really bad. Now they have resorted to the inevitable "team meeting". Let's see where they stand at the end of May, but right now, the ship be sinkin'.

Meanwhile, the Cavs are rolling.

Only Tiger Woods can get the headlines, while being 5 shots back

The Bruins are in trouble.

Visitor

None, it's Mother's Day.

I saw "Wolverine" this evening. I headed over to Cinemark where they seem to have this movie running every 30 minutes or so. Now this was the origin version of Wolverine. As you know, he's our favorite cigar-chomping, motorcycle-riding Canadian wiseass superhero. So, we get the backstory on how Logan became Wolverine. Not a lot though. I think he was a kid, he got mad and somehow claws appeared out of his hand. But why let plot get in the way of fighting later on.

Anyhow, for a Canadian, he sure fought a lot of wars for the U.S. And with his brother Sabretooth at his side, played by Liev Schrieber. Eventually the army, well, the evil Col. Stryker, picks both for a unit he's compiling. Sort of a mutant Dirty Dozen. Anyhow, Logan quits, moves to Canada and then eventually has to go back to the world he knows, when his brother starts shaking things up by turning more evil than Logan cared to remember. But there is lots of trickeration as he gets injected with Adam Ant. No, I think it was adamantium or something. Anyhow, that's how he got that sharper stuff coming out of his hands. If you remember the trailer, "Ooh, shiny."

So, it was typical comic book stuff. Lots of special effects, bad military villains, fight scenes, unbelievable lack of security at government installations, you know the routine. We get appearances by Gambit, Deadpool, Agent Zero, Bolt, and the Blob. Decent movie and it was mildly entertaining. A nice kickoff to the summer schedule.

Meal of Links

Porn star Stormy Daniels may run for Senator from Louisiana. Change we can all get behind.

Jack White says not so fast. The White Stripes have not broken up and are, in fact, recording.

The cast of "Fawlty Towers" reunited. A very funny show. Haven't seen it lately, I wonder if it holds up.

Awkward family photos.

Look at how a Roomba moves. Kind of like a funky Spirograph.

Who do you carry a lifetime grudge against? Gotta be that idiot Nissan guy on the radio commercials.

The background on how Luc Besson became a producer. Loved the guy since I saw "Subway" lo those many years ago.

A look back at another favorite movie. "Wings of Desire".

David Lynch presents "The Interview Project". Could be interesting.

More polling. It's tough being a Governor.

The Indians are still bad. I get a look at Pavano on Monday.

Exercise Yard




















Manny Ramirez was busted for a drug on the MLB banned list. You can tell he was on something, because his locks are three times as long over the last few years. Or since it was a women's fertility drug, I guess it's a case of "Manny Being Tranny". OK, I stole both those lines, but it's still damn funny.

I'm just disappointed with the news. I suspected he was on it, hoped he wasn't, so it's not that much of a surprise. The real surprise is what he was caught with, hGC (similar to Clomid). That's so old-school of him. hGC itself doesn't manufacture testosterone, it just helps the body produce it again. Which is obvious after cycling down from steroid use. He could have achieved the same results using other things out there which aren't banned. It's probably what everyone else is using currently.

Visitor

3 Down: Red fez wearer (7 letters) Answer: Shriner

Happy Cinco de Mayo!





















As you can tell, I had to celebrate at home this year. I have this nagging cold which I am hoping leaves me soon.

We finally have a legitimate Mexican restaurant in the neighborhood. No, not Taco Bell. So, I ordered some takeout from Mexico Lindo. I got the taco, burrito, rice and beans dinner. Accompanied by chips and salsa. Then I washed it down with some midget Coronas.

Just in time for the Cavs game. Bueno!

Meal of Links

A Wilco lawsuit. Stemming from one of the best music docs ever made.

Here's your movie preview for the next 2 months. "The Hangover" was the funniest trailer I have seen in the theater in many, many months.

Photographer and subject meet at Kent almost 40 years later. I would assume next year's anniversary will be big.

Blaupunkt Ad



Exercise Yard

The Cavs tonight? Way too easy. I think we are looking at 5 games, at most, to take care of the Hawks.

Visitor

19 Across: "If I Ruled The World" rapper (3 letters) Answer: Nas

On Saturday, amongst all the sporting events on TV, HDNET reran the Godfather Trilogy. Usually, I beg off after the first two. But something compelled me to watch "Godfather 3", you know, the one that never really existed. Unfortunately for me, the damn thing started at 12:30 a.m. Sunday morning.

But to give it a fair shake, I decided to watch it until the end. That meant, around 3:30 a.m. Sunday morning, I am now 100% certain that "Godfather 3" sucked. A rather large one, I might add.

I am convinced it's memorable for only two lines. One by Michael, which Costanza made his own: "Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in."
The other when Michael tells Kay, "I used to look out this window and think of you." to which Kay replies, "Yeah, then you married someone else."

I actually suffered for this art, because I developed a bad sore throat, which is always the omen of a cold coming on for me. I hate it. I go all winter without a cold and now that it warms up, bam, I get one. I'm curious. If I did not watch the movie, would I have developed that sore throat. I wonder.

Meal of Links

Devo goes to the UK. A look back.

How the late-night shows circumvent the Writers Guild. Freelancers fax jokes to the program for $75 to $100 for each joke used.

Guy thinks he found the formula for Dr. Pepper. He paid $200 for the ledger which might get $75,000 at auction.

Exercise Yard

Malcolm Gladwell offers lengthy advice for underdogs in basketball. Press, man, gotta press.

Visitor

54 Across: Verne captain (4 letters) Answer: Nemo

Well, wouldn't you know the horse I chose for the Kentucky Derby actually became the favorite. The previous favorite, I Want Revenge, wanted no part of a muddy track, and was scratched. So, with the track turning up wet, all eyes looked toward Friesan Fire, an AP Indy horse, to win. Um, that didn't happen. The favorite in this race almost always never comes through.

It was a slow half-mile in 47-and-change, when I saw Friesan Fire in about 6th, just off the pace. A good spot, I thought. Then he disappeared like Keyser Soze, WTF? What I didn't know was, see, he stepped on himself at the start. So, he hurt pretty much bled through that half-mile before spitting the bit. Friesan Fire eventually finished 18th, probably walking at the finish. I pity the fool who finished behind him.

Mine That Bird, a 50-1 shot, had the ride of his lifetime and was the winner. The second-biggest upset in Derby history. We'll see if they load up the van and head for the Preakness. That race was not in the cards before the Derby, I assure you.

However, the Preakness might be a great betting race if Mine That Bird shows up. if you hated him at 50-1 this week, you may really hate him as a favorite (or second or third choice) in two weeks.

Meal of Links

This might change the Internets forever. It's called Wolfram Alpha. I think it sounds fascinating.

Tiananmen Square, twenty years later. I still recall Dan Rather, outside of a TV truck, on the air until they pulled the plug on him.

Why does it take the NBA three weekends to finish their first round of playoffs, then immediately put the second round into hockey mode. That is, every other day. Very strange and they've been doing it for years. Cavs-Hawks schedule. What the hell, another look at LeBron (Virtually everyone I ask about this ad remembers the exact play):



Old Farts Making You Smile



Senator Schumer wants New York State maple syrup to be used at the IHOP. By God, what's good for Vermont, is good for New York. A couple of weeks ago, I was hankering for pancakes so bad, I went to The Big Egg. And they were good.

Exercise Yard

Saw the Pacquiao-Hatton fight on...shhh...YouTube, of all places, en espanol. I have been solidly behind Manny Pacquiao for many years and relish this type of fight, where he gets to box the overhyped Ricky Hatton. My goodness, the crowd was amped for this one. Of course, Hatton's followers show up, but Pacquiao has somehow over the years united Filipinos, Mexicans and Los Americanos in his corner.

Pacquiao figured out Hatton in about, oh, 90 seconds or so. He put him down 2 minutes in with a big right hand and followed up with another knockdown before the end of the first round. Uh, that's Pacquiao, 10-7, on your scorecard at home. Then near the end of the second round, BAM, left hand to chin. Game over!

With Floyd Mayweather, Jr., coming out of retirement (or is it recession?), Pacquiao-Mayweather looms in the future. Pacquiao truly is a gift from the boxing gods.

Visitor

None, a nice May day.

I didn't have the swine flu. Do you have pig flu? Here's your culprit! But I know this made me ill:

Oak Ridge Boys/"Seven Nation Army"



I haven't actually been ill, but watching way too much of the NBA playoffs. New month today and I'm back.

Hey, today was the first time in many years I had to deal with E-Check. Not much has changed. They only had one lane open shortly after lunch. Weird employees remain.

My niece spells burps, "b-e-r-p-e-s". Of course, I think that's funny, and I did pronounce it "ber-pees" a la herpes.

Hope you didn't buy a $220 million Mega Millions ticket, because I have the winner.

How about Rado and Marty Allen getting dumped from Triv's show on WTAM? Haven't really noticed much of a change except the two bits I heard were lamer. I mean, "Paco Gonzalez" (seriously with a "jew" for you" accent) wants us to travel to Mexico. Yikes, that was incredibly unfunny. But Triv still hates Obama. So, you can still listen to that if you wish.

Saw the Kentucky Oaks today. Rachel Alexandra looks like a filly for all-time. Won by 20 lengths today, it appeared. Tomorrow's Kentucky Derby winner...Friesan Fire.

Meal of Links

Tomorrow is Free Comic Day. I think I might see "Wolverine".

Favorite opening scenes of all time. I just watched "Once Upon a Time in the West" last Sunday on the HD Channel. I always thought Charles Bronson ruled this one. But the more I see of Jason Robards, I like him more than ever.

"Raising Arizona" provides "No, not that motherscratcher."

"Mulholland Drive" with the Jitterbug!

"The Searchers" as ever. And nice shoutouts to "Blow Out" and "Jackie Brown".

Artists who get a lifetime pass. For me, it's probably Clint Eastwood. Hey, I paid to see "Bronco Billy" in the theater.

Environmental changes are affecting some popular tourist destinations. Even the Galapagos Islands.

A primer on the greater of the babkas. Chocolate babka! BTW, there is a "Man Hands Bandit" running amok in Seattle.

Why hasn't anyone developed an "SNL" killer? Maybe the time is right.

The AT&T Blue Room returns with the New Orleans Jazzfest this weekend. Looks like the Sunday lineup is strong.

Miss California is now "protecting marriage". Looks great in a swimsuit, but she's not very bright.

Exercise Yard

Guy Lafleur's son's troubles finally get Guy Lafleur in trouble. Sheesh, these guys are a piece of work.

Visitor

31 Across: "Turn Me Loose" singer (6 letters) Answer: Fabian

Films that make you cry.

My abbreviated list:

When Al Pacino gets his gold shield in "Serpico". I'm a puddle. Every time.

"The Straight Story". Damn that ending when Harry Dean Stanton asks Richard Farnsworth if he rode that thing all the way out there to see him. I think it's David Lynch's only G-rated movie.

Morgan Freeman's journey at the end of "Shawshank Redemption". Comical. I think the next time is the one I'll get through. Never happens. Bordering on triple digits.

"Saving Private Ryan". In the cemetery. "Tell me I'm a good man." Fuck you, Ryan, for makin' me shed tears! You're a bad man for doing that.

"Something For Joey" and "Brian's Song". Two made-for-TV football movies that are gut-wrenching. Most of the other sports movies like "Hoosiers" just give me chills. Although the end of "Pre" is a struggle. God, I loved the real Pre, so that must explain it.

"Heaven Can Wait". When Jack Warden figures it out at the end. Bah!

"In America". Good God, that's an emotional roller coaster.

Geez, I didn't even hit the doc list. But I'm sure that's enough for now.

Meal of Links

This Congresswoman is insane. Please vote her out next time.

The New York Times Magazine has a lengthy interview with President Obama. Today marks 100 days in office. Imagine that, the country has survived.

If ever there was a match for man and music. Steve Earle will do an album of Townes Van Zandt covers. "Pancho and Lefty" was on the EP, but the full album is out in two weeks.

Austin City Limits Festival has announced its lineup. I think it kicks major ass. Keep your eye on Blitzen Trapper. Big time pub going on.

The Hollywood Wax Museum is having an auction tomorrow. I'll take Mr. T, the Seinfeld figures and Ann-Margret!

"Family Guy" gets the James Lipton treatment. For next year.

Exercise Yard

The NFL Draft may go primetime next year. I swear it would be popular at 4 a.m. on a Tuesday if it was shown then. BTW, the Bengals are the 2009 team for HBO's "Hard Knocks".

Visitor

49 Across: Space station astronaut Jemison (3 letters) Answer: Mae

Today was a regularly-scheduled Indians game for me. I picked up a couple of tickets behind home plate on StubHub the other day for $15 per. Bargains abound, people. Sneaking a peek at the weather forecast late last week kind of clinched the deal. And even the threat of rain that was so prominent in yesterday's forecast got debunked by morning.

My Dad and I were in 153, and the sun at this time of the year conveniently didn't envelop our row, so it was quite comfortable. And we were rewarded with a win today, which was the first time I could say that in 4 tries, so far, this season.

Today's pitching from the Tribe was top-notch. Aaron Laffey has emerged as the most consistent starter since his recall after Week One. He got into the seventh today. Tony Sipp came on that inning and struck out Morneau and Kubel with the bases loaded for an escape. Rafael Betancourt (no White Stripes today) pitched an uneventful 8th. Then came my first look at Kerry Wood up close. Jeezy creezy.

Wood put the first two guys on, then it looked like he got mad. Got a double play grounder and struck out Brendan Harris for the save. When his pitch hits the catcher's mitt, it sounds fast. What a pop! He was hitting 99 on the gun. If he then throws Uncle Charlie like he did today, the hitters have no chance. That curve of his breaks an awful lot. The pitching needs to be good enough to get to Wood. He has now whiffed 12 in 6 innings.
























Not sure the hitting or Eric Wedge's disgust at the hitting had much to do with the win. Shocked to see a lineup today that included Peralta, DeRosa (so bad he changed his Wilco music), Graffanino and Crowe. More timely hitting today, but those four are really struggling.

Regardless, the Tribe wins, 4-2.

Meal of Links

The GOP is not going away. Outside the Beltway, they are still stoking the flames of bad policy. BTW, just in time for Swine Flu. The R's took out a whole bunch of funding for...pandemic preparation.

How to get the best out of iTunes.

Matt Underwood is now on Twitter. I still am not. I'm having a hard time grasping the use of Twitter. I get that if you need an answer to some problem, it can help. I don't mean to pick on Underwood, but what would I care if it's like summer at Progressive Field. Dude, I don't have my air on, I feel it. Matt should be describing what Rick Manning is eating during a game.

My Tweets today would have been:

Turkey burger...Mmmmm
about 5 hours ago from txt

Carl Edwards just went airborne!
about 6 hours from txt

Kerry Wood...Ballgame!
about 8 hours ago from txt

Uncle Joe just paid $6 for a Strickland blizzard. Hah!
about 9 hours ago from txt

More Minnesotans in my section today.
about 11 hours ago from txt

I just had my third beer.
about 12 hours ago from txt

F1 is in Bahrain. Anybody been there?
about 14 hours ago from txt

Damn. No one at Dave's Mercado this morning.
about 15 hours ago from txt

I dunno, I don't find these things noteworthy in snippet form. I'm probably wrong though, hips AND numbers don't lie.

Exercise Yard

Is the NFL Draft still going on? Well, the Browns did crank up the excitement by trading down yesterday. Then trading down again. Then trading down one more time. Then sucking the air out of the room by drafting a center, Alex Mack. Thankfully, it wasn't Alex Mack from the Disney show or Clarissa would have to explain that move. BTW, the best line from yesterday was Paul saying that the group at B.J. Raji's house looked like The Klumps.

So, the Browns addressed a need with that move. Then, as I kept pleading for Shady McCoy in Round Two, we got two receivers. Shady is the next Brian Westbrook and the Eagles probably wet themselves over the fact they now have McCoy and Westbrook. But the receivers include another OSU player (kill me, please) and one from Georgia who has the dropsies. I guess we addressed that need, as well. Not sold on the pass rushing end from Hawaii or the lesser known of the four USC linebackers with the next two picks but, like always, until we see these guys in pads, who really knows?

AFC North analysis.

Visitor

None, on a sunny Sunday.

Wasn't planning on doing much of anything last night. I got a call from Jimmy Donovan reminding me that my Browns payment for season tickets is due next week. Had to wash dishes. But then Cousin Barb came to the rescue with Indians tickets. "F-R-E-E, that spells free..." So, I went to my favorite type of Indians game. You know, the kind with fireworks after. If this town could manufacture exploding dollar hot dogs, they would sell out every game.

Speaking of dogs, my post on hot dog prices was a bit hasty the other day. We found that variable pricing exists for the red hots. Ranging from $3.00 to $4-something for regular dogs. Koshers go for $5, with the super (grilled with onions) going for $6.50. Cannot determine why the prices are what they are, but only Cleveland can sell hot dogs a la a wine list.

As for the game, well, that's nothing new. Fausto Carmona looked better. But he gave up a monster homer to Justin Morneau. Strike outs were up and he didn't walk many. Rafael Betancourt, who still comes into the game via "Conquest" by the White Stripes", still sucks. And then he does it such an agonizingly slow way to take the steam out of everyone. When he left, it was 5-1, and that's how it ended. Vinnie Chulk gave us two innings of Chulk-A-Mania to close it out.

The Indians have played 7 home games. I have attended 3. They have lost all 3. Although, it did not rain this time. Matter of fact, it was stealing to get 80 degrees at an April game. Anyhow, Tribe loses, 5-1. Again.

WARNING: My Dad and I are at Sunday's game with cheap StubHub tickets behind home plate. Bet accordingly.

Meal of Links

Top 10 Album Openers of the '90s. Decent list with listening capability.

More about torture.

Super Bowl in London? I'd bet the first year it's there, the Browns will make it. Depriving the loyalists of an opportunity to see the game in person.

A Far Cry From "This Is My Town"



Exercise Yard

Heading over to Paul's later for the NFL Draft. Yes, Lord Football rules even on an 80-degree April day in Cleveland. The final mock draft of Rick Gosselin.

BTW, for all of the chatter out there, if the Browns do not make a trade or two and simply go with the picks they have, I think we will all be disappointed. Let the ManKok Era begin!

Visitor

57 Across: London-born supermodel (8 letters) Answer: Kate Moss

I was at the Indians game tonight. It was a “Clash of the Titans” affair with the Kansas City Royals. Nomar Stalker and I took advantage of those 50% off tickets and got a pair in 152, right before the handicapped row. Excellent location, because when it rained late, we caught the end in one of the 200 Jury Box sections.

What did we learn?

Quit worrying about Cliff Lee. He looked as dominant as he did last year. Gave up 7 hits, but clearly 5 of them were of the cheap variety. Hard hit balls were virtually non-existent. Gave up a run early when Coco Crisp led off with a double and moved up on two fly balls to Choo, who thankfully saw both of them. Anyhow, Lee looked great, even though he lost.

The Tony Sipp Era started. He looked decent. Little lefty, throws the heater in the low 90s. But the Indians offense looked like a Jim Rome “Triple U” experience. Especially the unfunny and uninspired part.

We learned more about vending. The Kosher Hot Dogs purveyed by the “Rabbi Feldman Stands” have been replaced by a Super Kosher Dog for, get this, $6.50! I was in line and heard a guy mutter his small order and when he was done it was $25.25. That made me read the prices as he took forever. So, pissed off at the slow guy and the prices, I went to a regular vending station. Where I paid $5 for a dog and $4.75 for my large Souvenir Soda. Didn't make me feel any better when told condiments were around the corner. Hey, where's my pump bottle of mustard? What's with the packets?

As I said on Opening Day, beer from a vendor is $7. I found the Mixed Drink Stand near 155 and paid $7 for a bourbon and soda. The stand offered Great Lakes and some other beers for something in that $6.75-7.25 range. Looks like Cotton Candy was the only item checking in at less than $4.

The Royals? Well, Brian Bannister owns the Indians and threw 6 shutout innings. Jamey Wright came on and threw 2 innings, including a 4-pitch 8th. Then “The Mexecutioner”, Joakim Soria, came on and struggled for the save. But he buckled Trevor Crowe on a third strike to end the game. The Royals appear to have good gloves, but have trouble throwing the ball around defensively. They may need to keep an eye on that.

I’ve now attended two games. The Indians have lost both. And it rained both times.

Royals win, 2-0.

Meal of Links

What is your better Chicago concert this summer? Pitchfork or Lollapalooza?

If you've been on Detroit lately, you see all of the construction going on. Good news, though. The Capitol Theatre gets a projected opening date of October 1. Let's see if their vision meets my vision. Meaning I don't want to have to drive to the Cedar-Lee, if I don't have to.

Bill Nye gets booed. Bill Nye, for cryin' out loud. Well, booed might be strong. Heckled, perhaps. OK, a few people walked out.

Melt goes east. Michael Symon goes east and west.

College Snuggies. Seriously.

Shep Drops an F-Bomb on Torture on Fox



Exercise Yard

The NCAA finally sanctions beach volleyball. But they call it "sand volleyball". I guess for all the midwest and eastern schools that will have a team.

Cavs GEICO Parody



I was at the Atlanta game when that debuted, and liked it a lot.

Visitor

14 Across: "1984" author (6 letters) Answer: Orwell

I went to see "State of Play" over at the Cinemark, where a crowd of barely double digits was in attendance. This movie was a throwback to the old newspaper thriller. You know, where the intrepid reporters are risking life and limb because of an explosive story that threatens to perhaps, bring down the political world as we know it. Really an homage to the paper, as we have the newsroom featured prominently and the production of a newspaper is covered over the closing credits.

The movie clinches it for me. I really don't like Ben Affleck, especially as a congressman. I think this guy actually thought he was a politician. Now Russell Crowe as the scruffy reporter, I liked him a lot. Crowe has a habit of delivering in these types of movies and I think he did a good job. Rachel McAdams can do no wrong in my opinion, I think she's lovely all the time, so that was a plus. She was the newspaper's DC gossip blogger.

Good stuff from Robin Wright Penn, looking great, as Affleck's wife. Helen Mirren plays a Tina Brown-like editor of the paper and gets to swear a lot. And Jason Bateman as a smarmy PR guy gets a nice few minutes to turn the story on its head. Jeff Daniels played an appropriately powerful majority whip, as well.

Not great, but not a bad effort here.

Meal of Links

The World's Top 100 Restaurants. Sadly, Sheetz is not mentioned.

Really bad fictional babysitters.
Evelle: "These blow up into funny shapes and all?"
Grocer: "Well, no... unless round is funny."

A great read on why newspapers are failing. And some things they haven't given away yet.

Rolling Stone has left San Francisco. Editorial has been gone for a long time, but still...

Two things intrigue me about CSU ticket options for next year. Season tickets remaining the same or, perhaps, cheaper on the price angle. And the all-you-can-eat-and drink section that would include beer. Uh-oh.

This site can help you with your LA Times crosswords. By all means, do not look there until you are done.

Exercise Yard

This kid allegedly picked better than Mel Kiper in last year's NFL Draft. This year's picks.

Visitor

17 Across: "The Flintstones" pet (4 letters) Answer: Dino

The Crank Gang met at Crocker Park to take in the early show of "Crank: High Voltage". Probably the most ridiculous piece of cinema in the last two years, and I loved it. One review said it was "morally bankrupt but the funniest film of the year". Where else can you hear Dwight Yoakam say, "Am I gonna have to choke a bitch?".

Yes, Jason Statham is back as Chev Chelios, even though he died in "Crank". Well, sort of. His stolen heart is replaced by an artificial heart in the sequel that he needs to keep charged, hence the title. His old heart ends up in David Carradine's (Carradine is a character named Poon Dong) body and why let plot get in the way of his quest for its return. Yes, Statham shoves a shotgun up some big guy's ass to gain information. Yes, some guy cuts both of his nipples off for failing to get Statham. Yes, Statham and Amy Smart have public sex again, this time at Hollywood Park, ahem, during a horse race. Yes, Statham gets a jump from a car to his heart. Yes, Statham grabs high voltage boxes and wires a few times for even more recharging. Yes, old friends from "Crank" show up.

Jee-zus, Corey Haim is in this movie as Smart's current boyfriend and she eventually beats him up. Even Ron Jeremy shows up at a porn actor protest (My favorite sign: "Hell No, We Won't Blow") so Statham can be stopped at a redlight for no apparent reason. Even Lauren Holly (looking good I might add) has an uncredited role as a hot psychiatrist.

Hey, don't be looking for any Academy Awards being thrown in its direction. It clocks in at 85 minutes and Kevin said it was probably really 40 minutes long and then they had to come up with filler. I think he was right. I see its first weekend take was only $6.2 million ("Crank" took in $10 million, for comparison). Get there soon.

Meal of Links

Jason Statham wore these New Balances in "Crank: High Voltage".

Torture memos came out last week. And George Orwell visited America three times last week.

OK, GOP. Time to start railing on President Obama for talking with our enemies. Cue "preconditions". Remember that word. By the way, Hugo Chavez is the new Oprah. That book he gave Obama is now #20 on Amazon.

Exercise Yard

The controversy around Jorge Posada's homer that put the Yankees ahead of the Indians today will probably never die. At first, I thought no. Then I thought yes, after seeing the third replay. Then I went back to not so sure. The angle on the YES network seemed to indicate Crowe and the fan directly over him missed the ball. Didn't see the TBS feed. STO's feed kept me confused. Let's face it, if Garko had still been out there, we would have known for sure. I don't think he leaps as high as Crowe did on that play.

My only beef is that when the home run goes to instant replay for an umpiring decision, the umpire crew needs to make a statement following the game and they appeared to not do that today. They also let Eric Wedge have his say after the replay, ignoring the automatic ejection rule for arguing.

Terrible effort by the bullpen should not be overlooked though. Yanks win, 7-3.

Visitor

None, on a rainy Sunday.

While watching the Cavs, I was thinking (because of the blowout), what nickname should we bestow upon Vinnie Chulk of the Indians? Chulk-A-Mania! or the Incredible Chulk? I know "Gas Can" is probably the leader in the clubhouse and let's hope they don't blow that 15-2 lead today.

Things I've Tried Lately:

Arnold Palmer Half-and-Half. I picked this up at Marc's, mainly so I could say, "Hey, I'm drinking Arnold Palmer!". Arizona Teas may distribute this, but it's half lemonade and half iced tea and Arnie has his photo on the jug. Whole lemonade or whole iced tea probably tastes better. Uh, maybe I should have had it on a golf course.

Santitas. Did you know they are only $2? Why, it says so, right on the bag! Not bad. It's a Frito-Lay product.

Tangos. This is a Shearer's product and I like it a lot. Get the cantina style tortilla chips. My God, some of these flavors these companies come up with I wouldn't touch. Shearer's is as guilty as any with their Hot Dog-flavored potato chips. A big WTF? on that one.

Mad Monks Salsa. I really like this stuff. I am not that much of a salsa person. I've only tried the Hot, but this is exactly how I like mine. Thick, with a big heat factor. Another Marc's purchase but Dave's has it, as well. More expensive than the typical brands, about $3.99 a jar.

Step Right Up. This is a combo hot dog/donut shop in Hudson and I've had a hot dog from there before, that was OK but way overpriced, especially when Sheetz runs that 2/99 cents deal. You know, I loves my Sheetz! Anyhow, both times I've been to this joint, I'm the only one there. Now, I don't eat a lot of donuts, but these are tremendous. They have a filled glaze that is unbelievable, with lemon or raspberry. The best donut I've had in a while. I'd go back for the donuts, but not the dogs.

Meal of Links






















The AT&T Blue Room has Coachella this weekend (like Los Campesinos! above). Pretty good lineup and a different video player this year.

I will be heading off to see "Crank 2" tomorrow. Here's how Jason Statham became the world's biggest B-movie star.

Here's how "The Mentalist" became a hit. "Familiar and unremarkable" seems to be the ticket.

Thief returns stolen car. Got tired of the victim calling him. A lot. Then he gave up.

A shoutout to "Ball Four". I still remember Jim Bouton's manager, Joe Schultz, and his favorite curse word: "Shitfuck."

Julia Stiles talks about her new haunt, Citi Field. Quotes like "...but the only place you'll find a quicker ladies room is at a Rush concert -- I know from experience." and "...but honestly -- fish at a baseball game? The Mets don't even have a single Japanese player on their roster, and New York is known for its hot dogs. Period." I like her.

Tyler Hamilton basically throws in the towel. A pretty sad story.

Exercise Yard

A long read about Todd Marinovich. Mankok, be very careful next week, when drafting.

Visitor

41 Across: "Platoon" actor Willem (5 letters) Answer: Dafoe

The Torture Memos were released today. Appalling would sum it up properly, I think. Here's the medical angle. You know, this relates to the epiphany I had many, many years ago about the death penalty. Every financial ("it's cheaper to gas 'em"), let alone the weak deterrent argument, regarding the death penalty is rendered moot by this simple point...We are a civilized society. Or supposed to be.

The memos are here, courtesy of the ACLU. You may think the idea of future prosecution is a bunch of hot air. Personally, I don't. I think it's a must.

And when you offer an argument about letting go, it's in the past. Well, you sound like Mark McGwire or a John Demjankuk supporter.

Meal of Links

Time to take a look at some different photos of women.

Allure went the naked celebrity route. Standouts include Lynn Collins. Even Chelsea made the cut with her Handlers. This was airbrushing at its finest.

Conversely, French Elle went the celebrities without makeup route. This includes Monica Bellucci, Eva Herzigova and Sophie Marceau.

Both sides have their merits.

The 50 Most Brilliant Atheists of all time. Familiar names include David Gilmour, Brian Eno, Steve Wozniak and Jodie Foster.

I hadn't seen Sir Mix-a-Lot in a very long time. I always kinda liked him. But what is with BK and their recent legacy of creepy commercials? Meanwhile, Johnny Depp visits SpongeBob.

Sarah Palin is having trouble even governing Alaska these days. Let's hear the R's cite her favorable ratings as governor today.

YouTube has a page to watch full TV episodes. I didn't look, but maybe the one where Al Bundy sweated Elvis is on there.

Another thing I have to worry about. Getting crushed by the Golden Arches.

Funniest headline today.

Exercise Yard

April 15 marked the 20th anniversary of the Hillsborough Disaster. Generally regarded as the darkest day in the history of English soccer. 96 people died that day and the bottom line is you never expect to die while attending a match. Still resonates deeply over there. Fascinating reads.

Go Bruins



Seriously. Could this be the year?

Visitor

32 Across: Rowlands of "Another Woman" (4 letters) Answer: Gena

You step away for a day and all hell breaks loose...

First of all, Mark Fidrych died yesterday. Hard to believe now, but for one summer back in 1976, he was the best thing going in baseball. "The Bird" was 21 and he pitched for the Tigers and was Rookie of the Year. As you probably guessed it was his first major league start against the Indians (who else?) that put him on the map.

He talked to the baseball. Manicured the mound by hand and shook hands with everyone. Including teammates after a good defensive play and even the ground crew after that first win. It was something to see. Remember, this was before ESPN and the Internet. So, you would hear or read about him before you actually saw him.

His passing allows us to reflect on how different baseball was back then. Fernando Valenzuela and Fernando Mania came a few years after Fidrych, and Wally Joyner with "Wally World" took place a few years after Fernando. Those were great happenings in baseball that we'll never see again. By the time Ken Griffey, Jr. made the majors only a short while after Joyner, you knew everything about him before he even took a swing.

But Fidrych was a joy to watch and it's a shame he flamed out so quickly. His career was effectively over a short 14 months after that first win against the Indians. Joe Posnanski, a northeast Ohio native who saw Fidrych as a kid, points out in a 30-day stretch in '76, he threw 73 1/3 innings! Seven complete games in a month. Johan Santana has 9 complete games for his career! No wonder his arm was shot. Pitch counts, what are those?

The thing with Fidrych is if someone did that stuff today, they'd be mocked or ridiculed for "not respecting the game". All I can say is, at that time, no one cared about that crap and he's a pitcher I'll never forget.

Meal of Links

Oscar de la Hoya retired today. Boxing's best box office guy. When he boxed, people paid to see him. And women would actually show up. Stumbled rather badly at the end of his career, but at the lower weights, man, he was unquestionably one of the best. Now it's off to promoting where he can make even more money.

Harry Kalas died yesterday. He was the voice of the Phillies and also did the voiceover work for NFL Films. Had a friend in college who always used to imitate him with "Rob Carpenter grinds out three yards of real estate".

It's National Grilled Cheese Month. When done right, that is a damn good sammie.

Exercise Yard

Lord Football took up much of the airwaves tonight. The reason? It was the "Reading of the Schedule". Only the NFL could turn this into an event.

Here is the Browns schedule Wow, this is a doozy. Hey, Sunday at 1:00 welcomes the Browns back with a big bear hug, as 12 Browns games get that timeslot once again.

The Lows? 5 of the first 8 and 7 of the first 11 games are on the road. That means 4 of the last 5 games are at home when it's cold. Including a Thursday nighter against the Steelers on December 10. Plus a 4:00 start against the Chargers at home in December. That means for those games, it's cold AND dark. Sadly with two home games after Christmas, we may not care well before that point.

The Highs? I guess getting 2 primetimers at home is unexpected, but pretty good. Both divisional games, I might add. That Steelers game and a Monday nighter against the Ravens on November 16 (after a bye week which worked last year). And the Browns divisional games are spread throughout the schedule instead of that customary three losses by October stuff we've had to put up with lately. And both preseason home games are on Saturday.

Still have not sent in my check yet, but I will before May 1.

Visitor

6 Down: Jean of "Saint Joan" (6 letters) Answer: Seberg

Today was spent finishing up a tradition unlike any other, the annual viewing of the final round of The Masters. Unfortunately, FIGJAM was paired up with Tiger Woods and, of course, got me ready to set my remaining hair on fire, as he tied The Masters record for the front nine with a -6. And then tossing it away by hitting a terrible shot into the drink on 12. Then missing incredibly easy putts on 15 and 17. Tiger hung in there and actually threatened us with some almost memorable play until he proceeded to butcher his last two holes...again. He is really having trouble finishing his rounds there.

But the oddity of the day was the CBS coverage. I realize the entire golf world wanted to see FIGJAM or Tiger come from way back to win this thing, but they were too far behind. I'll grant you that one or two of the three leaders (Perry, Cabrera or Campbell) may have totally melted down, but not all three of 'em. To have Jim Nantz declare that Kenny Perry "had ceded control of the tournament" while he was STILL LEADING THE MASTERS was one of the oddest things I've heard from this guy. FIGJAM and Woods were still 2 and 3 shots back respectively at the time. Talk about hyperbole. Then after Perry missed a short putt at 13, the usually reliable Peter Kostis said that Masters nerves were getting to Perry. Not sure how he would explain Perry's birdies at 15 and 16 shortly thereafter.

It's amazing how they wanna bury a guy like Perry early. Then when he really deserves to get hammered for some bad play, like he had on the last two holes of regulation and both playoff holes, they don't hammer him enough for gagging. I mean that was some really awful play there and we can chime in and say how well he played early, but Perry really spit the bit at the end.

And a tip of the hat to Angel Cabrera. He won the green jacket and didn't get caught smoking on camera once. Only active golfers with a Masters and a US Open win? Why that would be Tiger Woods and Angel Cabrera.

But the award for the player who finishes in the Top 16, an automatic invite for the 2010 Masters, with the least amount of TV time goes to...Todd Hamilton. Virtually ignored on the CBS weekend coverage after shooting 68 on Thursday and 70 on Friday, Hamilton's only shot on the Sunday coverage was his incredible par save after hitting into the water on 12. Geoff Ogilvy was probably the runner-up, despite rolling in 5 straight birdies on the back nine on Sunday.

Meal of Links

I think some people are truly psychic. But if you're a psychic, can you really cancel performances due to "unforeseen television commitments"? Not sure that's gonna fly.

Sometimes, pirates be damned, you have to perform these military exercises. What a story this has been.

Give up alcohol for a month? Hey, sobriety is over-rated.

Exercise Yard

A few things from Opening Day I failed to mention:

Beer from vendors has now reached the $7.00 mark.

The fish they promised to those honoring their Good Friday commitments was only available at two stands, one lower and one upper. But was not helped by any signage and not announced until the heavier rain showed up in the 4th inning. Shouldn't advertise it, then abandon it.

You'll probably notice this, especially when bad crowds are in attendance. But the first row of the more expensive seats is now sponsored by Mercedes-Benz. Cushioned seats with Mercedes-Benz logos are what first-row patrons now sit in.

The leftfield foul pole is now sponsored by Walgreens. Sadly, the lonely rightfield foul pole remains unsponsored.

And the Indians won their first game of the season. So the crowds forming at the 480 bridge have subsided. For now.

Visitor

None, on a sunny but cold Easter Sunday.

Opening Day

















Gale and I attended yesterday's opener and, well, what can you say when it's the longest rain delay in the history of the Toronto Blue Jays. They do have a dome, but not hard to figure why they had to play that game yesterday. It was the only time Toronto was in town this year and when the Indians specifically lobbied for a Friday start this year, you don't have the leeway you have when you open on a Monday.

All of the tired antidotes like a dome or open up for two weeks on the road are silly. What they should do, if you open up this early, is make sure it's a divisional opponent to make sure you have a chance for a makeup down the road.

As for the weather, I'll give you the straight scoop. It was pretty cold, but the little drizzle we had early in the game was tolerable. Then after Hafner homered in the third, the rain picked up. I'm not saying this was storming or anything, but it was steady and quickly became unbearable.

We actually spent a good portion of the 4th inning in the back concourse, so it was kind of a relief when they called for the tarp. It made no sense to stick around, so we headed for The Happy Dog. Heat, no bathroom lines and guaranteed seating made that an easy choice.

Parking

Considering there may not be many sellouts this season, all prices were jacked up. Hanna Garage, where I parked, was $20. BTW, today, it was $5.

Pregame Drinking

At Alesci's. We were there, probably around 1:00. Crowded, but not asses to elbows until around 2:00. Pretty cool. Got to see some of the younger folks from the older days. Our favorite bartender returned from Arizona and told us he and Andy Marte have became friends as Marte visited his establishment out west. Also saw one of our regular Army guys, who has done three tours in the current war, two in Iraq and one in Afghanistan. He's now headed to Hawaii. I'd say that's well-deserved. And one of my favorite young women is now in law school. Had a good time catching up with all.

Swag

















Got a Corona Light combo keychain/bottle opener from a Corona Light girl, as I was actually drinking one at the time. And of course, the Opening Day Schedule Magnet, as ever.

Batter's Eye/Market Pavilion

















The Batter's Eye in right field has been changed in a major way. In years past, it was one of the few ways you could beat the system. That is, you could arrive early, buy a cheap ticket, and sit at the many tables and chairs there and still view the game. You didn't have to buy anything.

Well, the Indians have figured that out and have sent the tables and chairs to the Market Pavilion area, where the view is not so great. Even the chairs around the bar have been eliminated.

OSU Presence

















Can I attend any sporting event in this town and not have to suffer through some Columbus-based items? As I walked into Progressive Field, the Ohio State Spring Marching Band is playing "Hang On Sloopy". Then the band plays both of the anthems.

As the Indians take the field, the lineup is displayed over the strains of the Ohio State fight song. Now this may have been for Scott Lewis, who started yesterday. Let's hope it's not every game. And now that Lewis is disabled, maybe that'll be shelved, as well.

Herb Score Tribute

















After Tom Hamilton introduced the players, we had the National Anthems of Canada and the U.S. and there was a tribute to Herb Score, whose wife threw out the first pitch. I'll say this, it wasn't very good. They had lots of time to prepare, but the only call they had from Herb was from Len Barker's perfect game. WTF? No home run calls, especially from the Jacobs Field era. I mean, he did call two seasons where the Indians made it to the World Series. Did he make no exciting calls during that time? Very strange. The Indians usually do a much better job on these things, but something was severely lacking yesterday.

Bigass Flag

















I loves me the huge flag.

This Clown Is Still There

















Yep, needlessly inserting himself into things. Like team introductions.

Be Careful, Hafner

















If suckiness ensues, look out Travis Hafner. The paint job in Pronkville has been jettisoned by this easily-replaceable banner.

New Food Section

















This is the new All-You-Can-Eat vending station, sponsored by ampm. As you can see, not very busy, but staffed by hard-working employees.

Stupid New Gimmick

















This is duh-umb. They eliminated some rows at the back of Section 101. This is where this Progressive SUV will honk its horn, turn its lights on, open up its doors and turn after an Indian home run.

After Hafner's homer, we got to see it in action. it is lame. You wouldn't even know it was there, unless someone pointed it out to you. And you can't hear any noise and it barely rotates. In true Progessive Field form, about 8 employees guard it at all times.

The View

















42,000 people inside the park. But I think I see the "Luckiest Man in Iraq" driving over the Lorain-Carnegie Bridge" before the delay.

What Did We Learn From The Game?

Or should I say 4 innings?

Player Speed Comparison: Dirt is slow...Kevin Millar slower. Millar thrown out by Choo at second yesterday. Should have been thrown out by Choo at home today, but Shoppach dropped the ball.

Dirt is old...Kevin Millar older.

I wish the little kid next to us, at his first Opener, could have stayed to the end of that loss. Me, too. Then I could have said, "Get used to it, kid."

New Nickname: The hitless Mark Derosa was christened "Oh-fer-rosa" by Gale. Little "Apprentice" shoutout.

Scott Lewis is terrible. One time through the lineup and they figured him out.

Wedge Boo Factor? About 25%.

Travis Hafner actually looked good.

Big upgrade on music. I heard music from 2009 and almost had a heart attack.

Meal of Links

Folks, try to relax. It's not good for you.

How to pawn crap. Stay classy, San Diego.

Mouth-to-snout? Yes, some guy saved a dog.

Simon Cowell Knows Talent



Exercise Yard

Miami lost the Frozen Four in an overtime thriller. Boston U. pulled their goaltender with 3:30 to go. Around the 90-second mark, I thought the boys were gonna do it. But BU scored two goals in the final minute and then scored the OT winner.

It's not that the teams I root for never win. I came to grips with that eons ago. But it's these knee-to-the-groin affairs that get tiresome. For 56-and-a-half minutes, Miami had the number one team on the ropes. Not a great game, but hard-working, really solid. Then it all fell apart, the tying goal came with 17 seconds left. 17 seconds!

In overtime, both teams had their chances. Then with about 8 minutes to go, a Miami defenseman blocks a shot and the puck dances agonizingly through the air, virtually taunting every Miami fan along the way. "Yes, I was blocked, but your goalie can't see me. So, I will float slowly through the air. The guys who see me, can't do anything about it. Watch me, as I will arc directly over the goalie's left shoulder and land snugly into the net for the gamewinner." I swear it took an hour for that thing to land. Awful to watch.

To add more insult, Steve Cady, one of Miami's Athletic Directors, the coach when I attended, came out for his duties as the Tournament Chairman. That meant he had to hand the trophy to Boston U. OK, rub more salt in there. Ugh!

Next up? Let's see how the Cavs do.

Visitor

62 Across: FDR's Fala, e.g. (15 letters) Answer: Aberdeen Terrier