I wasn't too happy with John Kasich Theater the other day. Why waste everyone's time with that stunt?

We'll see what the people think of SB5, come November. If it's repealed, it's 1 win, 1 loss for everyone concerned and then we can work on a compromise.

Meal of Links

Chipotle doesn't talk turkey. They talk pork. Looks like Bill Niman is consulting. Buehler's sells Niman Ranch meat and it's very good.

Matt Taibbi has a long read on the SEC and its document keeping. Should be bigger news.

Bourdain has no reservations ripping on everyone. Deen, Fieri, Ray and Sandra Lee. Stuff needs to be said.

Another film oasis. Gary, Indiana.

Should the Beachland Ballroom have to pay its back taxes. Or, given its role in changing South Collinwood, do they get a pass? Love the place, but if their taxes are waived, I think that line of others starts forming pretty quickly. Let's hope for a settlement.

Exercise Yard

Not really a curse, but the Indians do need to think about selling postseason tickets. And they did. The Tribe's playoff odds are down to 9.3%.

Visitor

None, on a changing sky Sunday.

I kinda feel bad for Jim Thome. He hit his 600th homer and it barely scratched the surface of coverage. It didn't help that he banged out 599 and 600 in the same night. After I saw 599 on MLB Network, they said they would show everyone of his at-bats until he hit 600. Well, that didn't last very long.

Today, all the talk nationally asked if Thome is a first ballot Hall-of-Famer. I say he'll get in, but maybe not on that first ballot. He lacks a ring, no MVP, only 5 All-Star games. It's true that Thome never won an MVP, but look at that 2002 season while he was still a position player:

52 HR, 118 RBI, 101 Runs, 122 BB, .304 BA, .445 OBP, .667 Slugging, 1.122 OPS

and he finished SEVENTH in the voting that season. OPSed by more than 200 over FOUR guys in front of him (Tejada MVP, Soriano 3rd, Garret Anderson 4th, Hunter 6th). With voting like that, it's hard to hold the lack of an MVP against him.

Locally, of course, the venom is still out on sportstalk radio. The common theme seems to be that somehow Thome lied to us when he opted to go to Philly. I may have been in a coma, but is this some sort of perceived slight? I recall the Indians being really late to the table with legitimate offers, which were easily trumped by the Phillies.

The Indians were originally around $45 million for four years and eventually tapped out between $62 and $64 million for 5 years. The Phillies easily added another year and he eventually signed for $85 million for six years. Unless we came up with something and named it "Thomeville", I don't think he could refuse that Philly offer. And weren't the Dolans happy he didn't sign?

And let's not forget 2002. The Tribe dumped Robbie Alomar in the offseason and made the Colon trade that year. Even a blind man could see the rebuilding. Thome's signing was the start of the renaissance of the Phillies as David Bell and Kevin Millwood arrived as free agents, as well. Outside of World Series appearances in 1980, 1983 and 1992, the Phillies only made the playoffs in '81.

The 3 years before Thome, the Phillies had 77, 65 and 86 wins. But he didn't get them in the playoffs in the three seasons he was there and the emergence of Ryan Howard made him expendable. He's hardly played with a glove since.

And you really can't dismiss any non-steroid use for sure, can you? There is a famous PD photo of 1995 World Series Thome that looked a helluva lot different than the behemoth I saw up-close walking out of a Wrigley Field dugout a scant few years later. When you hear Hammy waxing about Thome "doing it the right way" or "country strong", there has to be some doubt, no?

So, there are bound to be some doubters on the Hall of Fame. And it proves, once again, that no one holds a grudge like Cleveland Fan.

Jim Thome's First Homer



What do you notice on that clip?

Ex-Indian Steve Farr on the mound.

Thome wearing Number 6.

Thome is a bit thinner then.

Hey, what's with those socks?

OK, it's late season (October) and the Indians and Yankees both suck, but where are the people?

Baerga's haircut.

That's Reggie Jefferson congratulating Thome at home plate.

Meal of Links

Deviled eggs at the movies? For only 50 cents more...

Here are your TV premieres for fall. Both new and old. Have not picked my "Terriers" of 2011 yet. It will NOT be "New Girl", which should just be named "Zooey Being Zooey".

A new solo album from David Lynch. I wanna do "I Know" at karaoke.

The 5 best car commercials. No way. "Time to unpimp ze auto" is easily on this list. Joe Isuzu golfing, as well. "Birdie".

If you have never seen "Children's Hospital", there is good news. It got renewed.

Remember that show where Bobby Flay helped judge someone to a new restaurant? He blames Chipotle for the failure.

The art of seat poaching. What really sucks though, is when the poacher is around you. Someone comes in late, claims their rightful seats, then the poacher moves. I've seen these guys disrupt at least five rows at a game. "We'll sit here until someone arrives" is not necessarily a bad line to hear at a game, but it's downright awful, if you know there is a crowd.

Even the right is getting tired of Palin. Playing the "victim" again.

Great Improvised Scenes



Exercise Yard

Next on the NCAA's list? The U.

Visitor

45 Down: Sea-dwelling superhero (7 letters) Answer: Aquaman

"All My Children" died today. So did "One Life To Live". If Mario Batali's show isn't dumbed down, it might...what am I saying, it's network TV. OF COURSE, it'll be dumbed down.

Forget about it. It's Loretta Lynn's birthday.

"Portland, Oregon"/Loretta Lynn



Meal of Links

Look what Taco Bell is testing. A taco with a shell made from Doritos. You may call it fast food. I call it heaven. How about a roadie to Toledo?

Yeah, Simon Cowell leaving "Idol" means criticism also left the program. "Idol" really needs him.

"Treme" starts in 10 days. The producers are trying to stop the NOLA mayor from demolishing some homes. Homes in disrepair, but used to market the show.

Great kitchens. Hardly used.

Some love for Ernie Kovacs. New DVDs are out next week.

A history of Las Vegas weddings. No word on Mexican divorces.

The films of Walter Hill. Trust me, I'm an expert on these. Matter of fact, I stayed up late a couple of months ago to watch "Southern Comfort". I will stop and watch "The Warriors" and "Streets of Fire", if they show up.

Another fave. Luc Besson.

And lastly. Test your French. It's Cannes.

Exercise Yard

How do those pros play Augusta National? Here is Kevin Streelman's yardage book from the Masters.

Visitor

16 Across: Hater of David, in Dickens (5 letters) Answer: Uriah

We had some crime in the hood last night. Some brave soul went up and down everyone's driveway, looking for easy marks. Yes, I was one, as I left my car unlocked after chipping off a whole bunch of ice Monday, thinking last night's mix was going to be a nuisance. I suffered an incredibly minor loss. My neighbor, ouch. He got nicked bad.

Meal of Links

Memories...the 5 most dangerous cars. Of course, the Pinto was Number 1.

With St. Patrick's Day nearing, it's Shamrock Shake time. Here is your Shamrock Shake Locater.

If you stumble upon it, I guarantee you'll get some laughs. The world of Adult Swim.

Always had a thing for Judy Greer. So, here you go.

What you will see on the Oscar telecast. What really bothers me is when they basically show the trailer for nominated films. Why not pick the best scene, like they used to?

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

Renting. Not a bad idea anymore.

Some people go ga-ga for their Oscar parties. Especially their food selections. "127 Hours", I guess, provides stumpy foods?

Palin with an old trick. The second online identity! Amen.

Exercise Yard

Norris Cole gets some ESPN love. He is clearly the best player CSU has had in the last 20 years, surpassing J'Nathan Bullock.

If the Gary Waters Era truly takes off, I look for Cole's number to eventually be retired.

Visitor

24 Across: Jazz guitarist Montgomery (3 letters) Answer: Wes

If Jason Statham is in a movie, I am there pronto. So, today, Shaun and I hit the early viewing of the remake of "The Mechanic". Statham plays Arthur, the hitman who is really a no-nonsense kind of a guy. Gets the assignment, does the job cleanly, gets out, gets paid. And goes back to his fancy bayou home near New Orleans.

Donald Sutherland is his mentor, who gets involved with a mess with Tony Goldwyn, the top guy in the organization. After he gets taken out, his out of control son, Ben Foster, starts to learn the ropes from Statham. Foster wanted to be Statham, but Sutherland chose Jason to carry out all of the assignments. So, Foster wasn't exactly a neophyte. In the original, this was Charles Bronson taking Jan-Michael Vincent under his wing.

This version was better than expected. Contrary to the trailers, this was not a shoot 'em up from start-to-finish. It was only 90 minutes and after a bit of a slow start that actually included a couple of killings, it moved quickly to a very satisfying conclusion.

This was a Chartoff-Winkler production, sons of the team that did the original version. I was intrigued that they mentioned "The Gambler" was ripe for a remake, as well. Of course, that starred James Caan and he was outstanding in that one. One of my all-timers that is rarely seen these days.

Meal of Links

After that movie, Gale and I hit Vieng's Asian Bistro for some chow. I had the Hot and Sour Soup, which was really good today. And then had me some General Tso's. They also have Shiner on tap. Now, that was a meal that hit the spot on a cold day.

7 smart animals. Homing pigeons top the list.

It's The Coenfographic. The great thing about it is the rundown of the character names. From Garth Pancake to Gale Snopes.

Hangin' out at White Castle. Do their fries still only come in one size?

Exercise Yard

The LPGA is in a sticky situation. They hardly play any American events anymore and when they do, they run into this. They are going to stage a Founders Event next month, where the players don't actually get any prize money.

Visitor

5 Down: CNN Gulf War reporter (6 letters) Answer: Arnett

The Oscar nominations were announced yesterday. And, for the most part, I think they got it right. I was a bit surprised of the love for "The Fighter". I did not think it was Best Picture-worthy, thus eliminating David O. Russell out of the Best Director category. But they both made it, unbelievably leaving out Christopher Nolan for "Inception".

Also, Amy Adams must now be the 21st century's Meryl Streep. She was good in "The Fighter" and for once, didn't play a nun. That somehow got her a nomination.

For me, the best nomination was the brother of Kenny Fuckin' Powers, John Hawkes, who was nominated for "Winter's Bone". Not onscreen that much, and I thought it would kill his chances, but he was one tough hombre in that role and deserved the nomination.

Other than that, I thought it was ludicrous to think "The Town" would get any nominations outside of Jeremy Renner. And it didn't get any other major consideration.

And the documentary nominations differed from the DGA list quite a bit. "Inside Job" and "Restrepo" made both lists. But Oscar went with "Gasland", which aired on HBO over the summer, "Waste Land", about a landfill in Brazil, and "Exit Through The Gift Shop" which if it wins, how do we know the real Banksy picks up the award? That's why the DGA didn't go for it. "Client 9", "Last Train Home" and "Waiting For Superman" were the other DGA nominations.

Where to see all this stuff? Crocker Park is the place to be this weekend as many of the nominated films and actors are out there. Even Franco, Kidman and Michelle Williams. Meanwhile, I'm psyched and will be there for "The Mechanic" with Jason Statham. The Capitol has the Oscar Short Films starting Feb. 11.

You can also catch these films on Time Warner On-Demand:

"Inception"
"The Kids Are All Right"
"The Town"
"Toy Story 3"
"Winter's Bone"

Turner starts 31 Days of Oscar on February 1.

Meal of Links

Leave it to Hitch. "The King's Speech" contains some untruths.

Yep. He's my congressman.

You don't hear much about Charley Pride these days. But he was big.

It's the last column for The Miminalist. Oh, Bittman will stay with the New York Times, but he'll be doing other things.

America's Top 10 New Sandwiches. I want the Crispy Drunken Sandwich immediately.

Marriott bids adieu to porn. I guess people are bringing their own.

I don't know what it is. But I wouldn't put my lips on it.

The Old Spice Guy returns.

Taco Bell. It ain't all beef.

You do realize there is a May 2 GOP debate? No one has declared yet. What if no one shows up?

I will be watching this series. Simply beacuse I was the only one in the theater to get the Stirling Moss reference in "The Crying Game".

Exercise Yard

Since I have tickets to March Madness this year, I am intrigued by the most recent Bracketology. Both CBS and ESPN have agreed.

If Ohio State and Pitt maintain how they're playing and both get No. 1 seeds, they will play here. That means we will see a No. 1 seed in both sessions on Friday and probably see them both again on Sunday. Not bad.

Visitor

17 Across: Diana Prince's alter ego (11 letters) Answer: Wonder Woman

At first, I wasn't sure if I was seeing things because it was news to me. But there was a female lines official who worked the Wolves-Liverpool match this past weekend. Kind of a big deal, being that it was a televised match and all. Apparently, this was her second match.

Of course, the first goal was at her end and she had to decide on an offsides call, which she correctly called. There was no offsides, the flag stayed down, and Liverpool was leading 1-0. As usual, Wolves players had their arms up and started to yell at the ref. Almost instantly, when they realized it was a woman, they shut up. It was funny to see the protest die quickly. If it was a guy, they would still be scowling.

Meal of Links

This piece on Gabrielle Giffords is probably the best one regarding her recovery. No sugarcoating.

Papa John's might be in your house. Free pizza if the Super Bowl goes to overtime.

Subtitles. Or lack thereof in "The Godfather". Sollozzo gets it. Beautiful scene.

What it's like to interview Tommy Lee Jones. Not any easier these days, I'm afraid.

Exercise Yard

Steelers-Packers means one thing for Lord Football. Huge ratings.

Visitor

22 Down: NBA's ___ Ming (3 letters) Answer: Yao

I took today off, because I still had over a week of vacation that was untouched. Wouldn't you know it, I wake up and I'm having trouble walking. This is very reminiscent of the time I had plantar fascitis.

That sounds like the dumbest thing you can get. But as someone who has flat feet, it can be a royal pain. So, I'm tryin' to stretch that puppy out and keep moving. And I got my repaired shoe back today, so maybe that will help.

Or alcohol.

Meal of Links

Every now and then, I check the Programming Notices on Time Warner Cable. Mainly so I can complain about what I don't have. But, lookee here, Fox Soccer and Fox Soccer Plus seem to be arriving in HD before the holidays.

Boxing and movies do go together. that's why I'm also anxious about the FX show, "Lights Out" in January.

Home stretch for "Terriers". Here's why it should not get cancelled. It's gonna be a fight to the finish, ratings-wise. For the first time ever, I am joining the crusade and writing FX.

(NSFW) Here is how your Playboy centerfold pics are done. It's a thing called Photoshop. As if you did not know.

Your guide to NFL Concession Stands.

All of Pee-Wee's Secret Words are here. Around, whoo-o-o-o-ooo!

Time for Turkey Day TV Marathons. Highlights: "Phineas and Ferb" on Wednesday. "Man vs. Food" on Thursday seems apt. TBS has "Seinfeld" on Friday, same day as "Hitler's Bodyguard".

Black Friday shopping? How about a free Slurpee? 7-11 is calling it "Purple Friday".

Bizarre entries from the ""2011 Guinness Book". Longest handshake was over 12 hours.

The Mayor of London suggests W. avoid a European book tour. Something about that pesky thing called torture.

Alec Baldwin is doing commercials for Wegmans! Fairly straightforward, too.

The payroll tax holiday sounds like a good idea. But what if it didn't expire after one year. Uh-oh.

It's the latest Pew Research News IQ Quiz. Come on, it's not that tough.

Exercise Yard

Yesterday was a great day for statheads. For King Felix won the AL Cy Young Award.

Visitor

19 Across: Cash in Nashville (6 letters) Answer: Johnny

Drew (picking up Clooney air miles these days) and I were at O's last night. First time I had a burger there. I selected the J.V. Burger. On an English muffin, with a bit of bacon, tomato, lettuce and bleu cheese. Very good. And, of course, I had the Tomato Soup.

They had the Cavs and the World Series on, as well. So, it was a good time. Drew may be the only person I know who has been to New Brunswick. Not a suburb of Brunstucky. Canada.

Meal of Links

Jim Rome started a day early and warned everyone with his annual "If you are older than 12, and you are wearing a Halloween costume, you are a loser" rant. How appropriate are costumes at work?

Frank Jarvis died. Don't know him? He was a driver in "The Italian Job". You know, the one where Michael Caine says, "Just remember this. In this country they drive on the wrong side of the road."

Could "Moneyball" work at Liverpool? Not sure. Just because there will be a cut in player wages isn't an automatic adoption of "Moneyball" principles. Huge late Saturday match this week: Manchester United vs. Tottenham.

Here are 15 Black Friday myths. I have snagged some good deals on Turkey Day before, without waiting until Friday. This year, I'm trying for a Thermapen.

Remember Newy Scruggs?



Danno gets booked for heaven. Last of the original Five-O cast.

"I'm about to fuck you up with some truth." "Big Love" ends. Both "Bored to Death" and "Eastbound and Down" get renewed by HBO.

Karl Rove blasts Sarah Palin. Keep your eyes on Delaware, Nevada and Alaska on Tuesday.

How do these pumpkin offerings from chains actually taste? I had a pumpkin muffin from Giant Eagle last week that was really good.

The 10 Most Disturbing Horror Scenes of the past decade. Didn't see any of them.

This is old news. Really. I heard this shortly after the controversy died down that this was a prime motive of all involved.

Exercise Yard

A look back at the post-season managing of Mike Hargrove with the Indians. Oh, God, the pain.

They're all here:

1995: Jim Poole in Game 6 of the World Series.

1996: Casey Candaele pinch-hitting for Jim Thome in Game 3 of the ALDS vs. Baltimore. Jose Mesa for a FOURTH inning in Game 4.

1997: Surprisingly devoid of stupidity.

1999: Jaret Wright in Game 3 of the ALCS. Forcing both Bartolo Colon and Charles Nagy to go on three days rest.

2001 (OK, this was by Uncle Cholly): With Ricky Rincon warming up, Bartolo Colon remained in the game to pitch to Ichiro.

Hence, no title since 1948.

Visitor

2 Down: Stern with a Strad (5 letters) Answer: Isaac

Browns lose to the Falcons, 20-10.

What did we learn today?

How could we possibly be duped into thinking that Jake Delhomme was healthy enough to start today's game. There was still a legitimate question a couple of hours before kickoff on who was going to start at QB for the Browns. So, again this was Mangini trying to fool the opposition. Let's see how this is handled after they had to play the Delhomme card today. Pittsburgh knows both Delhomme and Seneca Wallace have injured ankles and there will be no mobility from either next week. Maybe it's Joshua Cribbs! Yeah, sure. After his interception against the Steelers last year out of the Wildcat.

Delhomme is taking a lot of heat from the fans today, but there is no way he was healthy to play. Makes you wonder what is going on with Colt McCoy's progress.

Wallace didn't make any mistakes today and maybe the outcome would have been different if he stayed in the game. I doubt it though.

Why do we continually give credit to the Browns defense? Sure, they held the Falcons to two redzone field goals and a blocked FG, but look at the horrendous playcalling by the Falcons down there. First FG came after two Michael Turner runs get stuffed, including a weird looking misdirection on second down. Then a third down pass was incomplete. The second FG comes after Turner gets a first down at the Browns 14, then a run, a really short completion and an incompletion. The blocked FG comes after Turner rips off a 55-yard run to the Browns 12, then one run, an incompletion, followed by an incompletion on an insane shovel pass. Therefore, once again proving my theory of Offensive Coordinators: "It's not enough to beat you, I have to show everyone I'm smarter than you." Shovel pass, are you kidding me? It's the Browns, they cannot stop the fucking run. 165 yards by the Falcons today, if you need 'em.

Oh, and the only time the Falcons go deep today, it's a Matt Ryan-to-Roddy White special for a 45-yard TD. Ryan was 6-18 at the half, but ended the game 16-28 for 187 yards.

We got nothing from Joshua Cribbs and Joe Thomas, who most would consider the Browns best two players. Cribbs is getting nothing in the return game and the Wildcat is basically non-existent. Cribbs had a catch for 8 yards and two runs for 11. Had one chance at a punt return for 3 yards and had 3 kickoff returns for 64 yards. Very blah.

Joe Thomas had a bad day at the office today. Too many times, he was beat on the left side today. John Abraham doing most of the damage. Abraham had only 7 tackles in the first 4 games, today he had 5. Abraham had a sack early, his sack of Wallace put him out of the game, and he basically punched Delhomme in the head contributing to Delhomme's second interception. Just awful.

Then there is the walking contradiction known as Peyton Hillis. He fumbles early. Runs 10 times for a paltry 28 yards. But makes a beautiful 19-yard TD catch.

Three turnovers including a pick six, the third one this year from the Browns. Absurd penalties. Remember Jerome Harrison running for 286 yards against the Chiefs last year. At today's pace, it would have taken him 286 carries to do that. Plus, the Browns had bad clock management at the end of the half with Delhomme basically wasting 18 seconds without running a play from the 50.

Then, at the start of the third quarter, the Browns OC, Brian Daboll, decides that a gimpy Delhomme is well enough to start firing the ball over the place. 10 of the first 14 plays in the second half were passes. So much for the Browns "identity".

This game left me sour. The final score was in no way indicative of how poorly the Browns played today. Only helped by Atlanta playing to their level.

Next up, it's the Steelers.

Meal of Links

Solomon Burke died today. One of the best.

The next 10 years. From a radical pessimist. Say goodbye to the middle class.

The truth about Titanic is finally revealed. The guy made a wrong turn.

Must be Christmas. The ice rink at Rockefeller Center opened today.

Truly Awful Onside Kick



Exercise Yard

Mariano Rivera. Hall of Fame pitcher. Probably the best closer ever. All-time Yankee great. So, for his first national TV ad, he decides to star in a commercial for...Taco Bell?

Mariano Rivera for Taco Bell



As Leonard Pinth-Garnell would say, "Monumentally ill-advised!".

Visitor

None, on as beautiful of an October Sunday as you'll see.

I had one of those decisions last night that can be only decided by The Ethicist. I had to run up to the local Marc's last night and when I pulled into my space, I noticed there was a guy parked there in the spot next to me. Didn't get a good look at him, but his car was running, air was on, and his lights were on.

For some reason, I had a helluva time finding the Orlando Texas Toast that was on sale. Doh! It was near the TJ Farms Sausage Links I had tossed into my cart about 15 minutes earlier. Anyhow, when I get outside, I notice it's gotten darker, not sure it was sunset time yet.

So, I start loading things into my car and I notice the guy is sleeping (maybe?) in the car. He's been in the car now, what, at least 25 minutes (Yeah, I shucked corn at Marc's). So, do I have to tap on the window to make sure he hasn't expired or do I just go about my business and leave?

I left.

Meal of Links

OK. Let's all move to Belize. Looks like fun.

The healthiest fast food breakfasts. Just remember, it's English muffin, not bagel.

Roger Ebert on Hitch. Great writer on great writer.

Kinda glad I didn't buy tickets to the World Cup. FIFA employee sells info on 60,000 people (including passport numbers) to the Black Market. Oh, boy.

I'm already done with the JetBlue guy. First of all, his story doesn't seem to make sense. And for all of his "Take This Job And Shove It" praise heaped on him, he wants his job back. It's over! I think it was over quite early for me, when I started seeing things like, "Who Would Play Him In A Movie?" crap. When there can be only one.

This guy ended his relationship with Blackberry. Oddly enough, today I chose to continue mine with a phone upgrade.

Exercise Yard

Quick Browns thoughts while watching our future neighbors late in the game:

Loved the Invisible Monkey ad for Dodge.

Syndric Steptoe is the Browns version of "The Thing That Wouldn't Leave".

First team offense looked OK, as did Seneca Wallace. Delhomme looked sharp.

On defense, the two standouts were T.J. Ward, who impressed me and "McMahon, I don't impress that easily." Looked to be more than a hitter. Seemed to be a very good tackler (not a hitter, actually wrapped up guys) and did not really get run over on the Packers first TD. Got beat with decent coverage on the second TD for Green Bay, but he had to cover a wideout. I thought he looked very good. The other was Marcus Benard, who was playing against second and third teamers, but took advantage as he should. Joe Haden also got some props on the broadcast (and I'm wondering why), but I thought Ward outclassed everyone.

Colt McCoy looked below average. His fade that got picked off before the half was HORRIBLE. It would be charitable to call that Quinn-like.

Broken record time: Linebackers looked slow.

Phil Dawson crushed a 59-yard field goal to tie it late and then won it even later with another 46-yarder.

Browns win, 27-24.

Randy Lerner's Other Team had a coach resign this week and the team came up with a 3-0 win earlier today.

I was in soccer mode this a.m. as Tottenham and Man City had a very entertaining 0-0 battle. Then the Villa game, as their fans were singing, "There's only one Randy Lerner!". Could you imagine hearing that at the Stadium?

Villa Highlights (In French)



Tomorrow is a biggie: Liverpool and Arsenal.

Visitor

50 Across: "Mr. Television" (11 letters) Answer: Milton Berle

This is why I like Will Ferrell.

Will Ferrell as Jeff Vuvuzela



Meal of Links

The unbelievable success of the Old Spice campaign. That guy is everywhere.

Remember the argument against Shawne Merriman making the Pro Bowl in a year he admitted steroid use? How about Letterman's extortionist getting an Emmy Nomination.

Carl's Jr. comes up with the foot-long cheeseburger. BTW, I had the strawberry and banana smoothie at McDonald's today. It's pretty tasty. Although I cannot see how anyone could down the large. I had a small and it was pretty thick and filling. Free samples next week.

This is it for Dick Cheney. His latest treatment renders him without a pulse.

Lately, America has taken a shine to hating Al Gore. I thought they always disliked him.

Brooklyn Decker...those are new!

The Original "Those are new"



Budapest-Masters of Parking



Exercise Yard

The biggest house is once again The Big House. Almost up to 110,000.

Visitor

10 Down: "The Teflon Don" (5 letters) Answer: Gotti

As the Cavs go after Tom Izzo,

David Geffen tries to mess us up.

And the Indians DFA'ed Mark Grudzielanik.

What's the bigger news?

Meal of Links

How did Bonnaroo get its name? It comes from a Dr. John album. Bonnaroo is loosely translated from Creole meaning "good stuff".

Yeah. Those lines at BK can be tiring.

Looking at new candy and snacks. Hey, there's Perky Jerky.

BP kinda sucks.

Exercise Yard

Even The New Republic covers the World Cup. Today's subject: The coach of Chile, El Loco.

Visitor

36 Across: 1971 Sutherland title role (5 letters) Answer: Klute

Time to catch up:

Absolutely fantastic weather lately, so with the afternoon off, I had to fire up the grill. You don't get to say I am having shrimp on the barbie very often. But I said it today.

You know it's spring when you can hear the grunts of the neighborhood mentally-challenged kid.

I hate to bring this up, but you know me. The other day, I was at Subway for lunch. I usually get a roast beef because it meets the healthy sandwich requirements. Anyhow, I'm behind a guy who KNOWS THE NAMES OF THE EMPLOYEES!!!!! Says hello to the order taker, than the first veggie person. Seriously. I've been going for there for years. I don't know their names and I'm pretty sure I do not want to know their names. He was also talking to a corporate bigwig who happened to be in front of him, so I had to hear all of his plans for Easter weekend. As he was finishing with the cookies, it was then the old, "Today, I'm gonna have...". How come God works in mysterious ways, except when I'm in a line?

I went to see "The Ghost Writer" the other day. It was the first time I bought a beer at a theatre (they had Magic Hat!). I said bought, not brought. It was also the first time in a long time, I had a private showing. Yep, I was the only one there. Too bad, because it was a really good movie by that Roman Polanski guy. Pierce Brosnan was a former Prime Minister of England who was writing his memoirs and Ewan McGregor was his ghost writer. It was interesting how many characters surprised me on their entrance. Hey, there is Duncan from "The Class" as McGregor's agent. Hey, who's that bald head of the publishing company? Why, it's Jim Belushi. Then it's Kim Cattrall with a British accent. Then it's Olivia Williams who seems to be taking the Emma Thompson/Kristin Scott-Thomas roles lately (she was in "An Education"). Eli Wallach...still alive. And, finally, even Tom Wilkinson shows up! It's at the Capitol for another week.

Our favorite Polka DJ heads to Buffalo for Dyngus Day on Monday (third graph from bottom).

Time Warner Cable finally made the channel switches this week on my box and the Navigator seems to work better for me. They added NHL Network and Fox Soccer Plus and I succumbed to their siren call. It's only 5 bucks. That eliminates one trip a month to Subway, which was perfect timing on their part.

Meal of Links

Why buy an iPad? I'm very happy with my new laptop.

Anna Paquin says she's a bisexual. Or is it she just can't make a decision?

Andy Rooney still reads the funny papers. Good God, I think I could take his job.

Movies with the worst opening weekends. Did not pay for any of them, although I thought about "Astro Boy".

There is a new "King of Kong". I sense a rumble.

Best Friend alerted me to this methane bubble. I'm not weirded out by the bubble, but I am taken aback by the overzealous farmer who wants to pop it with his knife.

Everybody loves flyovers, but here are the 10 best flybys. The guy in Number 3 has, as Jerry Caesar would say, "balls the size of church bells".

"Here come those Santa Ana winds again."

Exercise Yard

It's getting closer to the time I actually think about the Indians. Leitch wrote this about 6 weeks ago. How true.

Visitor

4 Down: Hockey Hall of Fame nickname (4 letters) Answer: Espo

Well, the Madness is winding down. Four games this weekend and three games next weekend for your Easter weekend viewing pleasure.

My Final Four picks are:

Kansas (OUT)
BYU (OUT)
West Virginia
Duke

Butler is now in the Final Four. Get used to the "Hoosiers" references all week. May as well start here. In any language, it's the same as the baskets in Hickory:

Es muy grande...heh, heh



Meal of Links

During March Madness, you see a ton of the same commercials. In the past, I thought the Southwest Airlines ads about free baggage were neat. You know, "Bags are my life...". But what is with the latest one? Geez, you got a Cheech Marin/Chris Rock-type voice saying, "Take my bag, not my money." I dunno, it just cheapens the whole bit. Now AirTran gets into the act.

Know your hand gestures. Especially overseas.

Really bad fast foods. It took me to Number 9, before there was something I'd actually eaten. And I've never had a P'Zone, I'm glad to say. But there are standards here that are unavoidable at one time or another. like a Big Mac.

Is Seinfeld losing it? I still haven't seen "The Marriage Ref".

Rep. Alan Grayson introduces the public option. Remember, the one that should have been in the bill just passed. Glenn Greenwald has an interview.

Fresh Pots with Dave Grohl



Exercise Yard

Scouting college players during March Madness. Trajan Langdon gets a mention.

Visitor

45 Down: "Doonesbury" hippie (6 letters) Answer: Zonker

I would be remiss if I didn't mention Sachsenheim Hall. Back in August, the Plain Dealer did a feature on the Best Taco Nights in town. Well, Sachsenheim Hall rated 5 tacos. I pass by this place all the time, because the Fulton Bridge is still out.

Anyhow, my brother and I finally made it there last Tuesday, and it rates very highly on my own scale. There are two things that strike you immediately. Number one is the price. 75 cents! And these babies are stuffed, they don't skimp here. The other is the choice of fillings.

So, for 75 cents ($1 for takeout) you get your choice of soft or hard shells. Fillings on this day included: Beef, Ancho Chicken Sausage, Fish, Green Chili Saxon Sausage, Black Bean & Corn, Refried Bean, Chorizo, Chili con Carne, and an Elk and Venison Combo. Certainly better than your average visit to Taco Bell. They also had empanadas for $1.50 or a 14-inch burrito for $5.95. Pumpkin Soup, Chili, a Nacho Cheese Platter and Mexican Lasagna were also on the menu.

Our bill was less than $14 for 6 tacos, two beers and a tall mixed drink. I had one each of the fish, beef and chorizo. The fish was good, the beef was very good, but that chorizo one was maybe the best one I've ever had locally. They also supplied us with their fish fry menu and that looks appetizing, as well. They have quite a gem here.

Meal of Links

Hat tip to Paul for this survey from Pew Research. I got 11 of 12, missing Question 11.

The 10 Best Movie Posters of the year. I do like that one for "Food, Inc.".

James Franco writes about his experience on "General Hospital". Performance art?

Large study just came out. No link between mobile phones and brain tumors.

Fast Food Update: McDonald's has pretty good Hot Chocolate. With enough caffeine to make anyone happy and they make it with milk (whole or skim), I might add. Not that Sonic needs a shill, but they do serve breakfast, you know. I was there this morning at 10:00 in Parma and I was the only one there. Like a scene from "2012". Virtually every McDonald's I passed had long lines.

The rise and fall of MySpace.

You gotta give "Monk" its due. It is responsible for changing basic cable programming to further develop the limited-episode series which makes for less of a commitment than network fare.

Dubai is a mess.

Exercise Yard

Famous South African Charlize Theron did not exactly "pull the balls" yesterday at the 2010 World Cup Draw. But she received their contents from such people like David Beckham. And, by God, if ESPN devoted three hours to cover this (in what may have been the best soccer program they've ever aired. i.e. No Tommy Smyth.), then it must be important. Of course, I recorded it and watched it last night.




















The United States could not have asked for a better draw. They got lumped with the English (I have Saturday, June 12, already marked for frivolity), Slovenia and Algeria. As stated many times within the past 24 hours, if the USA does not make it to the Round of 16, it will be a major disappointment. Both England and the USA will move on from Group C.

The infamous "Group of Death" goes to Group G for 2010. Brazil, Ivory Coast and Portugal get to beat up on North Korea and then duke it amongst themselves to advance. The biggest stars in soccer are here. Kaka for Brazil, Didier Drogba for the Ivory Coast and Cristiano Ronaldo for Portugal. Ivory Coast is rumored to have the best chance to go further than any African side in the World Cup.

France, who was punished by FIFA by not getting a seed, got punished all right. By getting possibly the easiest path to the next round. They battle the host, South Africa, Uruguay and Mexico. Qualifying was a pain in the ass for France, but let's see if the runners-up in 2006 get it together before June.

What went down yesterday has fired up everyone for June.

Visitor

18 Across: Singer/pianist with the 2002 hit "A Sorta Fairytale" (8 letters) Answer: Tori Amos

I had to drop off some Browns tickets to Kevin last night, so I got a taste of the pre-concert Springsteen crowd. I am not sure the buzz exists like it used to. When I worked Downtown, it was electric when the guy showed up. Especially for that Stadium concert, absolutely a huge event at the time.

Over time though, I guess everyone gets a little older, more sedate, and he did not sell out the Q. But the show got a rave review.

Meal of Links

The AV Club has started up its Best of the Decade features. So far, it's One-Season TV Wonders, Late Night Comedy/Talk, and TV Movies/Miniseries. Nice props for "Andy Richter Controls The Universe", but no "Knights of Prosperity"?

"Shit My Dad Says" moves from Twitter to TV. "I wanted to see Detroit win. I've been there. It's like God took a shit on a parking lot. They deserve some good news."

A droplet of water reveals the face of Ringo Starr. Don't send him any mail about it, though. Peace and love.

Count Chocula is the most powerful vampire of them all. Why? He has no weaknesses.

Saint Sarah. This guy reads, then writes about, the 4700-word essay on Sarah Palin so you don't have to.

Arby's is one of those fast food places I visit maybe a couple of times a month. But this sums up why they are so low on fast food chain. My issue is they have lots of choices, but most of them are really bad for you. Especially the sandwiches you think might be OK, like the Market Fresh Turkey on Wheat or the Turkey Reuben. And the guy is right, what is memorable to eat there? I think the Chocolate Mint Milk Shake may be the only thing that currently stands out. In addition, their combo prices are exorbitant.

Exercise Yard

Golf balls are destroying the planet. Lost ones, that is. Claims are it takes between 100 to 1,000 years for a golf ball to decompose naturally. I think I've had sandwiches that take that long, too.

Visitor

43 Across: Soccer immortal (4 letters) Answer: Pele

We were greeted with the news that the Fulton road Bridge won't open until next spring. That wasn't hard to tell, as the deck doesn't even appear to be finished. They claim the sidewalks and fencing need to be constructed with little rain and temps above 50. Which eliminates any late fall work.

Any detours I use are beyond pain-in-the-ass by now. They've become routine, but I wish they would finish the damn thing already.

Meal of Links

So, I was reading WomansDay.com today and ran across...A link to WomansDay.com? Yes. Only for optical illusions.

Ten weird celebrity commercials. Jason Alexander for the McDLT is rightly at the top. Remember that one? Your burger was "Hot", but your lettuce and tomato were "Cold". Throw in wasteful packaging and you have a winner!

A look back at Lance Armstrong's battle with cancer. And with a tidbit on how he had to become an employee of Oakley to get health insurance.

W. talks about lots of things. Wow.

Exercise Yard

How Columbus dealt with the big game on Saturday. With an interesting note on the...uh....er...cleanup following the 2005 Texas game.

Visitor

17 Across: Toon rodent who's a British secret agent (11 letters) Answer: Danger Mouse

I was in a pissy mode most of Saturday. Today was much better. Hey, there was an underwear sale at Target. Yesterday though, I was supposed to have a refrigerator delivered by a local appliance retailer. I had a conversation with the guy a week ago as to what would be a good delivery date. I said Friday, and then he mentioned they only deliver in my area on Thursdays and Saturdays. So, we agreed on Saturday and he said they would see me then.

Well, I didn't get a call as to what my delivery time was, but I figured that's how they operate. Then about 11:30, I decided to call and then that's when my mood changed. You see, they didn't have me listed for a Saturday delivery. Then I really didn't like it when the sales guy tried to pull the old "I left you a message" routine. After I explained the apparently forgotten conversation to him, he noticed that I sounded "pretty adamant about it". Hell, yes. What I didn't like about the message reference is that he thought that would get him off the hook, but I was ready to question him on why that would be the end of his pursuit of a delivery date. Yeah, I'm paying them to have it sit in their warehouse? Anyhow, he said he would fix it and they did deliver it and the delivery guys were great. But, damn, I was not to be trifled with.

Later, the men in my family were scheduled to go to Melt, where I had another coupon I needed to use before Wednesday. Just like a year ago, an unknown event killed that. Last time, it was a Jeff Dunham concert that brought in a crowd. This time, it was a Detroit Road Art Walk or something. There was an hour wait, something I would normally go for, but we ended up going to the venerable West End instead. Just like last year, we had to get there before the youngins showed up. Not very crowded, but I had a great burger there. We'll try Melt again on Tuesday.

Meal of Links

How media celebrate Walter Cronkite and how they are nothing like him. Great Halberstam references and some Tim Russert bashing, if you're up to it.

The cartel to the South. in 2008, 6,000 Mexicans died in drug-related violence.

Now The Burger King haunts the soccer world. When will it end?

I'm Worried About Steve



Exercise Yard

Today could have been the greatest day in the history of professional golf. Old Tom Watson was just a few feet away from winning The Open Championship at age 59. But he gacked on the putt and it forced a playoff with one of golf's most notorious Tweeters, Stewart Cink. But most will forget how Lee Westwood threw this one away, probably more than Watson.

Of course, the Tweeter did win the playoff. To be fair, I actually like both guys. I am very thankful for Tom Watson's book on the short game, because when I played golf, it actually made me think about what the hell I was doing.

Cink has always seemed like a nice guy and he can play a bit. Finally breaking through on some recent Ryder Cups. Did not like it when Berman christened him Stewart "Kitchen" Cink at that Southern Hills US Open many years ago. And today he was referred to by Tom Weiskopf as "Stewart Stink" and by Curtis Strange as "Stewart Think". Is it that tough to say Stewart Cink on live TV?

Anyhow, it was some riveting TV.

Visitor

None, a beautiful summer Sunday.

Walter Cronkite died yesterday. Our household was a CBS household for morning shows and evening news all throughout my youth. I'm not sure how that happened, because their morning shows were watched by virtually no one. I mean we knew Bill Kurtis way back when before he was threatening Floyd Mayweather, Jr. on that AT&T ad.

For evening news though, it was always "Uncle Walter". It is really something, I think the person I may have seen the closest to Cronkite on TV in my lifetime might be Jerry Seinfeld, and he's beat by miles. I mean Cronkite was always there. Vietnam. Political conventions. Space coverage. Watergate.

They certainly don't make 'em like him anymore.

Meal of Links

Gale and I headed over to Johnny Mango last night, because I had a coupon near its expiry date. Jeepers, when we got there it was slammed, but it did ease a bit after 7:30 or so. One guy was there for a takeout. He ordered two Pad Thai. That seemed like an odd place to get Pad Thai. I went for the grilled steak quesadilla, and truth be told, I inhaled it.

I wonder how this outfit will look when I eat my pudding, waiting for UFOs.

Well, spank my ass and call me Charlie. Sonic is coming to Parma! That would be September 1 on your calendar.

Here are the Top 10 Endearing Habits of a Geeky Spouse. Oh-kay.

Has "The Simpsons" been surpassed by "Family Guy"? I still like Bart and the gang, but I never miss "Family Guy". Sometimes, the throwaway lines resonate with me more than than the big jokes, which are consistently funny.

Where the jobs are, based on postings per capita. DC is #1. Detroit and Miami are at the bottom. From last quarter, big droppers are: San Diego, Cleveland and Virginia Beach. Risers include: Atlanta, New Orleans, Kansas City, Orlando, Richmond, Jacksonville and Nashville.

Exercise Yard

Why is David Huff still on the Indians? Really. 108 pitches in 5 innings. Just kill me.

I haven't posted a Wedge picture in a while, so here you go:


















Visitor

10 Down: First "America's Funniest Home Videos" host (8 letters) Answer: Bob Saget