Hey, the Browns played this evening. There is a reason they call it an exhibition game though. Because it doesn't count. It's a little too early to start finding those elusive diamonds in the rough. Because the second and third-stringers are playing guys most likely to be cut.

I recall Coye Francies (who?) getting buzz a couple of years ago and believe it or not, he's still with the team. I saw him in for two plays before going to the bench injured.

So, we need to pump the brakes before we start declaring the Browns division champs. Do like I do. Observe and then pencil them in for 4 wins, like they always seem to achieve.

Browns win, 27-17.

Meal of Links

Catching up with Glen Campbell and his Alzheimer's. Lots of mixed emotions here.

We have Rick Perry in the race and Bachmann beats Paul for the Iowa Straw Poll. Sure she's nutty, but you have to admire how quick she dispatched Pawlenty. With Perry, it will be different. It'll be interesting to see if they beat up each other and Mitt is left holding the bag.

How we became Vodka Nation. It all started with the Moscow Mule.

Exercise Yard

Today is like Christmas, in addition to the Browns, it was Opening Day for the EPL. Last we left him, Joey Barton was unwanted by Newcastle. But they kissed and made up and Barton, with his new Travis Bickle haircut, is still with the team.

Naturally, he caused trouble today. He tweeted afterward: "O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet."

Joey Barton Makes Me Laugh



Visitor

66 Across: He came out of retirement to play Winston Churchill in "Inglorious Basterds" (9 letters) Answer: Rod Taylor

I am now officially honked off at having a cold. I am now in Day 12 and seemingly not that much better than when I started. Now it's devolving into take a deep breath and immediately start hacking.

I swear I am now coughing up lung chunks. Lung chunks? Look for them in the frozen aisle of your favorite grocer. I keep hoping for some warmer weather which might help but, man, this is getting old.

So, when in doubt...Alcohol! I have poured myself a rye and ginger to help out. Who cares about any alleged healing powers after a few of these.

Meal of Links

I didn't see this coming. Frank Beckmann vs. Mitch Albom. Seems Albom is in favor of the Michigan Film Tax Credit (a proven loser for the state) and just happened to also get his own screenplay filmed in Michigan.

Danny Trejo. The Badass's Badass.

Dick Ebersol leaves NBC. Could this mean a Berman Olympics?

Two more days until...

"Rapture"/Blondie



Ruhlman has an excerpt of his book on Slate. He suggests sex while cooking.

Speaking of cooking...

My Drunk Kitchen Does Brunch



Stuttering songs. Another excuse to hear "Psycho Killer". And this...

"Surfin' Bird"/Family Guy



A driving tax? No fucking way. Very few of us get to work around the corner from where we live. And if anyone had vision in this town to build public transit to the South, lo those many years ago, I might sing a different tune. We only had three directions to build in this town and public transit barely benefits 2 out of the 3.

Exercise Yard

Man sets candlepin bowling record. I'd like to raise a practical question. What is candlepin bowling?

Visitor

24 Across: Fourth-cen. monastic (7 letters) Answer: St. Basil

I just recovered from March Madness. It's not so much the physical exhaustion of watching the games (I was home by 10:30 on Sunday night), it's the mental strain. But it figures I would pick up my first cold of the winter, just as it is ending. I have been sneezing a lot for the last two days. Cannot decide if it was NCAA or NIT people who gave it to me.

To add to the confusion, Marc's did not have an ad this week. How can they do that? They are getting to be like NASCAR. They toss in those odd dark weeks.

Meal of Links

Chloe Moretz has a huge career ahead of her. Probably the best child actress since Natalie Portman.

Whatever happened to Mickey Rourke? He even lost out on "Taken 2", which went back to Liam Neeson.

Randy Lerner's Other Team, Aston Villa, is getting dangerously close to the relegation zone. Who's going down? Probably Blackburn for sure, with QPR definitely up.

Programming, Motherfucker! Do you speak it?

Soap operas have been dying fairly rapidly. Is "All My Children" next? It's moving to LA for production. Or dying in NYC.

Movie Characters Saying Their Title



Jack made a new whiskey. It's called Tennessee Honey. For the chicks, apparently.

Amazon has some digital albums for 5 bucks. Good shit here. From Frampton to Dropkick Murphys.

Digital media in the Middle East and Africa. Who's next?

Yep, he's my congressman. And may still be what's left of any anti-war movement we have in this country.

Sure, these candidates are awful. But don't write them off.

The Blackberry Playbook arrives. Same pricing as the iPad. I need to see more of it.

Exercise Yard

My Conspiracy Spider Sense is tingling. The new NFL kickoff rules have tripped it. I realize the owners have decided to move the kickoff back to the 35-yard line under the guise of safety. At least the two-man wedge and touchbacks to the 20-yard line survived.

But in the process of making the game safer, they have taken away one of the more, if not the most, spectacular ways to score. Along with the one play that can be a huge momentum swing.

What I really think the owners have done is eliminate one more specialist they have to pay. You won't see the likes of a Devin Hester contract anymore or even a Josh Cribbs sorta cashing in like he did. There's no need for them anymore and they have to earn their keep at another position.

Visitor

18 Down: Poet Ogden (4 letters) Answer: Nash

Our long national nightmare is over. CAVS WIN!!!!

And then this...

Wayne Rooney Goal



I was in the midst of eating a piece of bacon when, all of a sudden, it was a goal for the ages in Manchester. My jaw dropped, but the bacon hung on my lip like a cigarette. Last view shows how great it was. Goal of a career material.

Meal of Links

I saw "Blue Valentine" on Wednesday. Terrific piece of film making, but it would be hard-pressed to find an audience, given its $6 million gross, thus far. It's such a a gut punch, but not a proverbial country record, it's like a proverbial country album, complete with a dead dog.

After watching it, here's what the demographics say:

Singles: "Thank God!"

Divorced: "Hey, I lived that."

Happily married: "Whew!"

Hardly married: "Uh-oh."

Box office is around $7 million after 7 weeks. It's a hard sell.

Acting is superb. Michelle Williams is great and Ryan Gosling, as ever, just kills it. It's the story of a couple who has been married about 5 or 6 years and their marriage is coming apart at the seams. There are some flashbacks to when they first met, seeing their relationship develop and evolve into marriage, no matter how blindly they may have got into it.

For, you see, Williams was studying to be a doctor in Western PA, while Gosling worked for a moving company in Brooklyn. All their dreams come to a grinding halt when, shortly after dating Gosling, Williams realizes she's pregnant from another guy. They decide to get married.

Eventually, she becomes a nurse and he becomes a house painter. He winds up attached to the daughter more than her, as Gosling tends to act as a child for the most part. So, Williams is, in effect, raising two kids. Gosling wants nothing more out of life then what he has, she can't stand what's happening to them both.

And you get two hours of that. As I said, extremely well done, and a great movie for winter where it's already dark and gloomy.

Boeing's next-generation intercontinental plane. Much attention to first class space, in which you will never fly.

John Hughes-inspired art. There is some good stuff here.

This critic really dislikes Martin Lawrence. "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Martin Lawrence, sole owner-occupier of his own special zone of terrible."

Mubarak used most of the last three weeks to save his fortune. Seems he may have gotten ahead of the Swiss banks.

Bourdain is doing some writing for "Treme". Even scenes with the infamous Alan Richman.

From the time flies category, "Arrested Development" has been off the air five years.

Uncle Jack



Speaking of John Hughes, there has been a recent news item. They have determined the dates of the baseball game played in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"

Algeria might be next.

Mark Wahlberg. Big-time producer. Another show. This time, CBS hires Rob Riggle for "Home Game".

Now this guy can fill a scorecard. It shows how personal these can be. I'm just happy someone still keeps core at the ballpark. You have a better shot at seeing a Yeti.

John Dahl has been mostly involved in TV lately, directing some episodes of "Dexter" and "Californication". Hell, he even did an episode of "Terriers". But he also directed the noir gem, "The Last Seduction".

The hardest part about giving up drinking? Dating.

Regrets? The FDA Scientist who approved LASIK surgery has some.

Porn. An industry in financial trouble.

Exercise Yard

Norris Cole was a man today. 41 points, 20 rebounds (!), 9 assists. One shy of the first triple-double in CSU history. And they needed him, too.

In perhaps the sleepiest game of the year, CSU beats the Fighting Penguins of Youngstown State, 86-76. YSU is in last place and pushed the Vikings to almost the end of the game, as the three-ball kept them in it. Cole needed to be dominant and, thankfully, he was.

Visitor

49 Across: Knighted son of King Ban (8 letters) Answer: Lancelot

Hey, I have no heat today. WTF? And it's cold, too. Geez, this has happened at least twice before where it suddenly gets cold and blammo...no heat!

We'll see what this is gonna cost me.

Meal of Links

I saw "Faster" with The Rock back in an action movie and I absolutely loved it. Loved it from the moment when Tom Berenger gives him advice on leaving prison and what happens if he runs into any trouble on the outside. Berenger asks him if he has any questions and The Rock asks him, "Where's the exit?". Great stuff. Billy Bob Thornton is in this, as well, and is good. He explains his absence. And what have we learned from the movies.

Willie Nelson is arrested on a dope charge. That is not really a surprise.

The sexiest bartender in America lives in Cleveland. Never heard of her.

Best movie spaceships. Lots of cool ones.

Exercise Yard

Well, I suspected it very early this season. Michigan kinda sucks.

They waited until the OSU game to play badly on offense, defense and special teams in the same game. Season-low 7 points. My sense is Rich Rodriguez is gone.

Even if Jim Harbaugh, in fact, comes in, I can't believe he could coach 'em up that quickly. Because the recruiting of Rodriguez means the cupboard is bare, especially on defense.

Visitor

37 Across: Ludlum's amnesiac Jason (6 letters) Answer: Bourne

It's that time of the year.

It's Mixmas.

Ugh!

Meal of Links

W. has been making the rounds this week. Revisionist history taking place on the question of how bad was he? Uh, really bad.

Palin still lies. Plus, the producer of "Dancing With The Stars" says this gem, "I don't really see any particular gain for them in skewing a ballroom dance competition." From everything I've heard, Bristol Palin is terrible.

Alcohol. And what it does to your body.

"Wheel of Fortune" had a puzzle solved the other day. Not really news, until you realize it was a seven-word answer with only one letter revealed. Contestant next to her cannot believe it.

Robert Downey, Jr. as Mr. Peanut



Combined with Nissan ads and "Due Date", his voice is all over the place.

Danny Pudi talks about "Community". He had a line two weeks ago in the Halloween episode, when Troy was fighting the zombies, that was choice: "Troy, make me proud. Be the first black man to get to the end."

Diabetes myths debunked. Some think it's contagious?

Exercise Yard

Look at the Browns this week. they are all growed up. Nantz and Simms with the call. "Let him have a life."

Visitor

17 Across: High jump technique created by 1968 Olympic gold meadlist Dick (11 letters) Answer: Fosbury FlopTEXT

On a weekend where Jackass 3-D made $50 million...

The Browns played the Steelers today and, obviously, the Browns lost.

What did we learn today?

Colt McCoy looked decent. Had a QB rating of 80.5. Second interception was a bad one, first one, not necessarily his fault. Give him credit. Most people thought he'd be on his back a lot and the Browns would lose, 41-3. Too early to tell, but it was a promising debut.

Defense gave up 378 yards. Ben Roethlisberger on his return, gave a standard issue performance, with 16-27 for 257 yards for the Steelers.

The Browns didn't run well today, getting only 70. Peyton Hillis was 12 for 41.

James Harrison put down two Browns with helmet-to-helmet hits and was flagged for neither, Joshua Cribbs and Mohammed Massaquoi.

Joe Haden had an interception and was a challenge to bring down on his return.

Slight controversy at the end, when the Steelers threw for a TD after a Browns timeout with under two minutes to play. If you wanna extend the game, the Steelers have a right to jam it in your face. And they did.

There really wasn't much to squawk about or get overly excited about. To me, it was the typical sort of game against the Steelers. Sure, there signs of life every once in a while, but overall, it was just a slow march to the inevitable ending of another loss.

Browns lose, 28-10.

Meal of Links

Louis C.K. America's liberal comedian.

Canada's most dangerous cities. Saskatoon made the Top Ten. I love saying Saskatoon.

"Runnin' Back To Saskatoon"/The Guess Who



The best drunk dances. The drunk driver is great, but the pole dancer at the wedding takes the cake, so to say.

I normally do not watch "30 Rock", but I thought the live show was pretty funny. Here are the differences between the East Coast and West Coast versions. "Kenyan Liar" vs. "Barack Obammunist", for example.

The saga of Officer Bubbles. Hah!

Roger Ebert talks with and about his good friend, Bill Nack. You hear Nack these days, mainly on ESPN, talking about his old beat, horse racing. He had a fine essay on yesterday's broadcast from Woodbine on the final race of Secretariat.

Keith Richards says if there are any new drugs, he'd like to road-test them. Very admirable.

The web is watching. Includes evidence of Eric Stoltz as the original Marty McFly.

The next "30 For 30" on Tuesday is on Tim Richmond. That guy was ahead of his time in NASCAR.

Exercise Yard

Eric Wedge gets a new job. And it's managing the Seattle Mariners. How he can survive on a team with absolutely no power is beyond me. Plus, Milton Bradley is on the team.

Get your popcorn ready.

Ben Crane, Cutup? Who Knew?



Visitor

None, on a sunny Sunday.

Well, the Browns are getting closer, but still do not have a win after three games. That is three straight years and four of the last five that the Browns have lost their three games. So, when we say we've seen this before, we have. Once again, they grabbed a lead in the 4th quarter, only to have the defense fail again at the most important point of the game.

Good things today:

Peyton Hillis ran for 144 yards. Doubly important because it was against the Ravens.

Phil Dawson nailed his first field goal of the year.

Bad things today:

Eric Wright was bad defending Anquan Boldin today. Very bad. Boldin had 8 catches for 142 yards and 3 TDs, mainly against Wright. Wright will be the whipping boy this week.

Joe Flacco had his best game for the Ravens this year. Beautiful throws on all three TDs.

8 penalties this week. I'm sure everyone has noticed. No laps being run in training camp equals more penalties.

4 of 11 on third down conversions.

Seneca Wallace with 5.5 yards per pass attempt. QB rating be damned.

Browns lose, 24-17.

Meal of Links

Deal News has posted their Black Friday predictions. This isn't exactly a primer on what to buy, but helps you plan for the deals you will probably see come November. You know, that 52-in. TVs will see better prices than 55-in. TVs.

F-R-E-E. That spells free. As in free stuff.

Polls:

Jack Conway pulls close to Rand Paul.

Ted Strickland is within the margin of error with John Kasich.

Reid ahead of Angle in Nevada.

A history of malt liquor. Plus, a look at the advertising.

Exercise Yard

Another dead wrestler. This time it's El Gigante.

Wrestling is real. The Browns are fake.

Visitor

None, on a cloudy Sunday.

Happy Labor Day! Hope you enjoyed some time off.

President Obama didn't take the day off. Maybe it's the unions that get him fired up.

Meal of Links

I noticed the number one movie at the box office this past weekend was "The American". Before George Clooney can do the happy dance for his first Number One film, the opening was comparable to "Leatherheads". Aw, geez. The pacing of "The American" reminds me a lot of "Rubicon", so I decided to post an action scene from that show:
























28 gleeful breakup songs. Including the awesome "Thank God and Greyhound" by Roy Clark. Some Elvis, Rilo Kiley, Nancy Sinatra, Ben Folds and even Garth Brooks make it worthwhile.

The most viral videos of 2010, thus far. I would have thought, with all of the attention it garnered, that the Old Spice Guy would have been higher, although I realize it had an astounding limited run.

All Shows Should Be Like This



Who needs a cineplex, when you have alfresco movie viewing. I think we have these around here in extremely limited fashion.

The D's are going Darwinian this fall. If odds don't look good for your re-election, help goes elsewhere.

You are having a heart attack. Stop tweeting!

Exercise Yard

Dick Enberg is calling US Open Tennis for CBS because, quite frankly, who knew he would have taken a departure from announcing the first-place San Diego Padres. Since he left, the Padres have lost 10 straight.

Only 2 other teams have done that and made the postseason. The '51 Giants and the '82 Braves.

Visitor

23 Across: John who played Basil Fawlty (6 letters) Answer: Cleese

Basil Fawlty Waits on the Germans

I've seen two entirely different movies the last couple of days.

Mr. Mix was up from Nashville and we ventured over to Cinemark to see "The Expendables". This was directed by Sylvester Stallone, who also had a hand in penning some of the most absurd dialogue I've heard in a really long time.

You have to admit, there is something cool about seeing a bunch of action heroes getting together to create mayhem. Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture and Terry Crews make up the team. Oh yeah, Mickey Rourke is the guy who gets them the jobs. But it was Stallone and Statham who had the most screen time.

So, the boys go off on a job bankrolled by Bruce Willis. But only before Arnold Schwarzenegger shows up as an old rival of Stallone, to also bid for the job. Arnold backs off and Stallone gets the job. This is somewhat of a cheap thrill, highlighted by the fact I don't think Stallone and Arnold were in the same room while being filmed. Looked like Arnie had a little CG going on.

The bad guy hierarchy was Eric Roberts as the ex-CIA main baddie, with Steve Austin as his muscle. David Zayas (Batista from "Dexter") played a General gone bad, who Roberts enlisted to help him carve out a drug trade. The boys have to take out the bad guys. BTW, Couture and Austin have a a fight scene where I don't think they were together either. They basically fought each other's stuntman. Stallone's direction was a dizzying array of constant cuts, so combined with a lack of lighting, they were able to disguise a lot of who was actually doing what.

Let's cut to the chase. The dialogue and lack of over-the-top action really killed whatever chance this movie had for me and whatever plot existed was simple to figure out. Of course, it's ridiculous to think these old hands could still do their old tricks. Dolph Lundgren was horrible and should show up next in "The Replaceables". Stallone shows his age. Couture was an afterthought. Crews fares better in the Old Spice commercials as the bouncing pecs guy (not the new guy). They kept making jokes about Jet Li's height, which combined with his subpar English, renders him useless for any action roles he may have left in him. Statham is the only one who even comes close to being half decent and probably has the best fight scene. I swear in Mickey Rourke's "Go For The Oscar Speech", he either made it up as he went along or he was high. Amazingly bad. Eric Roberts hams it up as the bad guy and probably comes in behind Statham in the maintaining of self-respect category.

This is super-discount matinee viewing. Probably makes enough money for an "Expendables II", however.

My Dad and I took in a first-day showing (imagine that) of Anton Corbijn's "The American". Corbijn is the one-time music video director (U2 and Johnny Cash) and last time out directed "Control". This movie stars George Clooney in the title role. It seemed "The Expendables" was bankrolled by a Brazilian and "The American" looks like it had Italian money behind it. I can see Clooney agreeing to the role, because he lives over there. I see him working.

I'll say this, the three lead women in this movie all have great asses. No doubt that was a characteristic necessary for these roles. Or maybe not, but very nice. And a nice mention of Sergio Leone's "Once Upon A Time In The West" was unexpected.

But, "The American" is a throwback to those movies where an assassin has to be alone, constantly on the lookout and exhibit paranoia at every turn. This is not Jason Bourne beating up a guy with a phone book.

Therein lies the problem. I liked this movie as a character study. Works great on that level. And Corbijn shoots this movie wonderfully. Lots of geometric detail and it looks fantastic. But I can quite easily see all of the arguments against it. The main one being there isn't a whole lot of action, which is going to kill any box office it may get. I joked that we just saw George Clooney build a gun for two hours.

If you like Clooney, it's a must-see. If you have muddled through the early slow-paced episodes of "Rubicon" and stayed with it, again, this may be up your alley. If you want a better story about an assassin, revisit the original "The Day Of The Jackal".

Meal of Links

It's interesting that cricket becomes very interesting when there is a betting scandal involved. Otherwise, I still don't get it.

Have you been keeping up with Brazil? It is now one of the world's great breadbaskets.

David Cross Is Funny



Top movies with twist endings. Top 6 are pretty good choices.

Vodkas. Including Cotton Candy!

I see Ed Schulz on occasion. But he's delusional if he thinks he can outdraw Beck.

Speaking of delusional.

Exercise Yard

UEFA bans the vuvuzela. Their charm has dissipated rather quickly.

Visitor

71 Across: "When A Man Loves A Woman" singer Percy ______ (6 letters) Answer: Sledge

"When A Man Loves A Woman"/Percy Sledge

Movie time.

Last night, it was "The Natural" at the Palace. Part of the annual Cinema at the Square series from Playhouse Square. Of course, it was good to see it on the big screen. I was perplexed by some of the crowd reaction, but I sensed there was a portion of the crowd that hadn't seen it before. And, yes, it is preposterous that a guy can sit out 16 years and then be the toast of baseball. But, then again, he's Roy Hobbs. There was actually applause after Hobbs did this.

Roy Hobbs First At-Bat



I also thought it went faster. When you watch it on commercial TV, well, you're doomed to at least a three-hour window. Last night, though, it was like they left out a reel, it was moving along so nicely. "The Natural" is an old favorite of mine. Great cast, the Oscar nominations of Randy Newman's score and Caleb Deschanel's cinematography, a real throwback to a much simpler time. When men wore hats and ties and women dressed up to go to the ballpark.

Today, it was over to the Cinemark to see the Mark Wahlberg-Will Ferrell comedy, "The Other Guys". Ferrell didn't have to carry this comedy by himself and with the help of Wahlberg, they cranked out quite a few laughs. Ferrell was obviously Ferrell, but the lines were distributed throughout the cast, which was surprisingly good. Steve Coogan, Eva Mendes and Micheal Keaton, who actually showed some of the old Keaton comedic chops here, were along for the ride. Keaton, especially, tossed off philosophy culled from TLC songs. Samuel L. and the Rock were unbelievably funny as a Supercop duo, as well.

My favorite Ferrell line was: "Gator needs his gat, bitch." Without context that means nothing, but I thought it was the funniest line of the film.

Kind of a shock, but the closing credits give us a lesson on the financial crisis. Very cool design. Odd place for a very effective statement, but we get to hear Rage Against The Machine sing "Maggie's Farm" and another song from the film, "Pimps Don't Cry".

Meal of Links

Fuel that car. With whisky?

Celebrity Spotting Saturday. I saw Marc from Marc's at the Ridge Park Square Marc's.

Creepy fish. Great, I just know that stone crab is going to show up in a dream of mine.

5 cinematographers on the rise. Some good stuff there.

Not exactly "Behind the Music". But sort of, with Tears for Fears.

Exercise Yard

Did we learn anything from the Browns-Rams game tonight? Maybe some things. At first, the Browns, trying to be a bad weather team, couldn't hang onto the ball in the bad weather. I thought the Browns should have been embarrassed, trailing 13-10 at the half. They didn't have a first down until the end of the first quarter.

A solid NFL team would have had a 21-0 lead at the end of the first quarter. The fact is the Browns have faced starters who have thrown only two incompletions, thus far. Uh oh. They couldn't stop Steven Jackson in his only series. If it were not for the ineptitude of the Rams play-calling, this would have been a rout. As Bernie Kosar noted, it had to be frustrating for Sam Bradford, who really was not given any chance to shine.

Jake Delhomme, once again, was solid. Not throwing the killer interception. Benjamin Watson had a lovely one-handed catch on an awful throw by Delhomme that went to replay, but was obviously a TD.

We will be hearing a lot about Peyton Hillis this week. The Browns seem to want to establish Hillis as the "tough yards guy". But I gotta pump the brakes on that one a bit. Hillis had an early run that kind of woke the crowd up. He bulldozed several guys and refused to go down on a 9-yarder. Instant fan favorite. Actually had several touches during the Browns first scoring drive. Same for the Browns second scoring drive.

But I gotta tell ya, there were two plays regarding Hillis that stood out for me. The Browns were on the Rams 24 in the first half and Hillis had blocking that was TD-worthy. I mean, they cleared out everyone. Hillis got tackled in the open field for about a 2-yard gain. A quicker back is doing an endzone dance. Later on, he failed miserably on a 4th down call. When they needed three, he got about half that. Listen to the call-in shows this week. His name will be prominently mentioned. I need to see a lot more before sainthood is in the offing.

Colt McCoy and Brett Ratliff need work. Chansi Stuckey was as slow as dirt on his first big catch, as he ran 28 and was timed with a sundial. Hate to keep harping on speed, but we have none on either side of the ball. Get used to it. This team is not throwing the deep ball. Again. Other than that, it was quite the yawner.

Browns lose, 19-17.

Visitor

3 Down: 2010 FIFA World Cup finalist (4 letters) Answer: Neth

Can you believe Bron Bron stole my idea? I have advocated for months that LeBron should hold a one-hour pay-per-view special where he could announce where he he was going to ply his basketball trade for the next few years.

It was going to be set up much like a college recruit who holds a news conference to reveal his choice. Remember, he didn't get to do that coming out of high school. All of his suitors would be represented by their baseball caps. Over the course of the hour, several of the teams would be eliminated. The Clippers, then the Nets, then the Bulls, then the Heat. His final two choices would be the Knicks and the Cavs. Finally, at the end of the hour, he would make his choice by putting on the Cavs cap. I was convinced there was enough of an audience to do that and I guess I was sorta right.

I'll be damned if they didn't come up with something similar. The only thing I didn't see was the charitable aspect (the ad proceeds go to the Boys and Girls Clubs) to take the edge off any charges of ego or conceit. The only change I see is that after he makes his choice, I am predicting a Nike ad with the "Welcome Home" slogan (or something similar) attached.

So, tune in tomorrow at 9. I am sensing record ratings for ESPN (even with all the bitching about it) and I still maintain LeBron stays here.

Well, ESPN claims "The Decision" takes place in the first 15 minutes. We'll see.

Meal of Links

What really happens in women's restrooms. Pretty much what I expected.

Today's controversial topic. Why parents hate parenting.

Remember the woman with the burned face in London's 7/7 bombing a few years ago? She is now showing off her new face. Incredible.

Don Johnson cashes in. On a "Nash Bridges" lawsuit.

If you play in the NFL and are a vintner, you have a problem. You can't promote your wine.

The plot thickens around Henry Kissinger and assassinations in Chile. Seems his hands may have been all over it.

Exercise Yard

Today's World Cup match had:


















against the:
























The group headed over to the Old Angle this afternoon for Germany-Spain. Again, a butt in almost every chair there, a great month for them. And not so bad for me, as I love those Jameson Highballs. Not the best of games from the Germans. It's interesting that the Germans, up to this point, were one of the most entertaining offensive units in this year's World Cup. But today, they seemed to adopt a defensive stance, similar to Paraguay, against Spain.

Fan On Pitch (Note Vuvuzela)



















Sort of puzzling. Outside of David Villa, no one had really scored for the Spaniards. Oh, they are always a threat to score, but really hadn't put it all together yet. The Germans, minus the suspended Muller, were really having trouble in midfield.

So, we ended up with a match that had Spain getting a multitude of scoring chances and whiffing on them all. Germany's best chance came in the 69th minute on a cross from Lukas Podolski. Toni Kroos steered it on goal, but Iker Casillas made the save. That was it for Der Mannschaft.

Germany's Lone Chance (WARNING: ANNOYING SONG)



Several minutes later, Carlos Puyol, who missed one earlier, headed one in off a corner by Xavi and that made it 1-0, Spain. Really, the only bad defensive error Germany made all day. That is how it ended. The Germans now could potentially end up with 3 losses in the tournament.

Auf Wiedersehen, Deutschland



It's all about possession. And that damn psychic octopus.

That sets up a NATO final between Spain and Holland. See you there Sunday.

Visitor

19 Across: Revolutionary Pancho (5 letters) Answer: Villa

Things I've tried lately:

I had Key Lime Drink, fruitsense from Old Orchard. Absolutely terrible.

Of course, we've all had Sun Chips. But have you had them in that new compostable bag? Yikes, try and sneak that into a theater. They admit the bag is loud, because it's compostable, but wait for your neighbors to complain. I imagine even your pets are wondering WTF.

I'm normally bullish on Bush Baked Beans. But, my God, Giant Eagle Onion Baked Beans are really good. Much, much thicker. And cheaper. Sometimes, I think a fourth of those Bush cans are sauce, but the GE cans actually have lots of beans.

With Cinco de Mayo nearing and no Bohemia the other day at Johnny Mango, I opted for Modelo Especial on tap. Boy, that hit the spot on a warm day.

Lay's came out with this new type of natural potato chip recently. The Garden Tomato and Basil is an odd flavor, at first, but it's tasty thereafter. The Tangy Carolina BBQ needs some work (I think Snyder's BBQ is the best by a mile). I still lean towards the Lay's Baked or Kettle Cooked variety when I get chips, which isn't that often.

For bagged salads, I've been in the bag for Fresh Express for a long time. I always get the Romaine. But I think I'm being slowly converted to Dole's Leafy Romaine. It's at Marc's. I don't know, it seems to taste better to me.

Mid's Salsa Italiano, get the Medium. When you don't wanna mix your own, you could do worse in a pinch. Full price, probably not, but Marc's had a coupon.

The best-tasting normal Hot Dog and Hamburger Buns out there have to be Pepperidge Farm. But whenever I'm in the mood for whole wheat buns, most of them are pretty flimsy. But then I discovered Nature's Pride 100% Whole Wheat Bakery Buns. Now, we're talking. Easily handles any sandwich you make.

Meal of Links

The Top Ten reasons you should quit Facebook. Quit it? I'm barely on the damn thing.

Who knew? Polar bears and grizzly bears are now mating. I have no idea what the consequences may be.

That oil spill in the Gulf changes everything.

Exercise Yard

Hey, what was with all that low scoring golf today?

Ryo Ishikawa shot a 58 in Japan and Rory McIlroy shot a 62 at Quail Hollow.

Needless to say, they both won. Combined age of the winners? 38!

Visitor

None, on a really lazy Sunday.

"Rain On The Roof"/The Lovin' Spoonful



Check out the Monty Python-like audience at the end.

So, I'm at Giant Eagle this morning and I realize I forgot my list. So, I'm standing by the place where the weekly circulars reside, scanning one before I start my shopping.

All of a sudden I hear a voice say, "Do you always block the aisle like this?". Now, mind you, I thought this was uttered by someone I might have known, because I thought to myself, WTF? But I look up and I have no idea who this person is, besides "Annoying Customer".

Then he repeated what he said, and I realized he may have a speech impediment or be a bit off mentally. So I told him, "Yeah, I do this every week when I come here." and I moved my cart slightly.

Jeezy creezy, these things happen to me all the time. Admittedly, I lean towards zero tolerance sometimes...uh...more often than not...a lot, but not "Excuse me." or "Sir, your cart?" or something similar.

"I got a threshold, Jules. I got a threshold for the abuse that I will take. Now, right now, I'm a fuckin' race car, right, and you got me in the red. And I'm just sayin', I'm just sayin' that it's fuckin' dangerous to have a race car in the fuckin' red. That's all. I could blow."

Meal of Links

Pictures of early 20th century British drunks. Lots of hats.

The FreeCreditReport.com is (gulp!) French Canadian. Therefore, it's not him who is doing the singing. I'm guessing it's Martha Dash.

What life would be like married to a porn star. Lots of free time, I bet.

Exercise Yard

Joe Calzaghe has snorted cocaine. Uh-oh.

Visitor

None, on a rainy Sunday.

If you want to catch up on some very good thoughts about the aftermath of healthcare reform, you need to read some items from two people.

David Frum on the right.

Glenn Greenwald on the left.

And Ezra Klein's blog in the Washington Post has been very informative, as well.

Meal of Links

They signed Beau Bridges to play Rocky in "The Rockford Files". I guarantee a Hispanic person will play Angel Martin. A really good summary of the old show is here. Even Tom Selleck, who was Lance White in the original, says you can't remake the show without James Garner. Can you imagine Dermot Mulroney pulling this off:

Rockford Wins A Fight



"Maury" makes a comeback. Ratings are up 44%. He may outlast them all.

How to nap. Hey, at 20 minutes, I'm barely gettin' started on napping.

"The Future of Rock and Roll" is on life support. Again. "If I had a million dollars..."

Memorable elevator scenes. Even "Vanilla Sky" is represented.

Dwight Yoakam and the Bakersfield sound. A proud Ohio State dropout. If you listen to anything here, make it "This Drinkin' Will Kill Me".

Sinead O'Connor is still mad at the Pope. Not the old Pope, the new guy.

Chris Matthews got healthcare wrong. Really wrong. It is train-wreck hilarious.

The Onion seems to not like Brady Quinn. Like TBS, very funny.

Exercise Yard

The Preakness wises up. Attendance dropped last year, so how to bring the kids back? The $20 bottomless mug of beer!

Visitor

47 Across: Obama attorney general Eric (6 letters) Answer: Holder

I have my new home network up and running. I decided to use whatever money I am getting back from the US Government as an opportunity to get a new laptop. So I had my eye on an HP that I goofed up a couple of weeks ago by not taking advantage of a sale. Lo and behold, this week it was back on sale. I got a good deal and a rebate to boot.

This is the one I got, one of the Quick-Ship models, the HP G60-630US. It's weird because I haven't had a laptop since mine was pilfered in my robbery several years ago. Plus I have been without a DVD player for a while, as well, and thought it might be wise to get back in the techie game. My router took a while to like me, but that is running now and I'm able to escape the shackles of my PC. So far, so good.

Meal of Links

How to play tricks on your brain. The inverted binoculars trick seems the easiest one to try. Now, go get injured.

Donald Glover is definitely a bright spot on "Community". Then again, they have a pretty smart cast over there.

Drinking tips! Yes, it's about time for that refresher course to reduce hangovers.

Exercise Yard

I laughed hard at this clip with lots of...

Soccer Theatrics



I was stumbling through the dial and I noticed this live on BBC America. Six Nations Rugby! Since when?

Visitor

12 Down: "This American Life" host (8 letters) Answer: Ira Glass

Better bowl game entertainment?

Boise State Cowbeller



Kool and the Gang Sing a Rarity (with new rapping!)



Meal of Links

Here are the top weight loss foods for 2010.

They are going to do a remake of "RoboCop". Well, maybe they were. Now it's delayed.

Adam Richman is doing a live challenge on "Man v. Food". He'll handle a 48-oz. steak from Shula's in Miami. Geez, I saw him eating a 12-pattie burger yesterday, so this doesn't appear tough.

Why donate clothes when you can trash them for non-use? This is insane.

Time waster. The 100 Cupcake Game.

This might be good. A horse racing drama done by the combo of David Milch and Michael Mann. On HBO.

The case against Supersized Cocktails. Keep 'em short and keep 'em coming is my motto.

If one Siamese twin commits murder, can the other be charged? The answer.

Exercise Yard

What to expect from ESPN 3-D. Not yet "The Ocho", but don't expect a lot. I saw the NBA All-Star Weekend last year in 3-D and it's great for certain angles, but not much regular action.

Visitor

11 Down: 1971 Tom Jones hit (9 letters) Answer: She's A Lady

"She's A Lady"/Tom Jones

My brother and I were at The Bart today for the opener on CSU's home basketball schedule against Wilmington. The issue: The game started at 11:30 a.m. As luck would have it, we were able to secure a 4-hour meter right by our entrance that had 1:46 still remaining. A few quarters later and we were good to go.

Of course, when you start a game at 11:30, you cannot expect many people to attend. By our count, it was between 300 and 350 people. Whatever possessed CSU to do this, they need to remove that thought from their collective mind. But starting at Midnight tonight, ESPN has 24 hours of basketball, so let's be glad we didn't get that 6 a.m. timeslot that St. Peter's and Monmouth have tomorrow morning.

The stat that jumps out is that Wilmington shot 57% for the game. Oh, CSU won, 99-74, but it was a game that answered no tough questions about the team. Basically, a glorified scrimmage.

Then it was off to the Parkview for lunch.

Meal of Links

Adweek is taking votes on the Best Ads of the 2000s, (Non Super-Bowl Category). Remember, VW's "Bubble Boy" had "Mr. Blue Sky" as its music. The Starburst one remains uncomfortably freaky.

"Easy Rider" stops then. And now.

Edward Woodward died. He was the star of one of my favorite shows, "The Equalizer". For the first part of its run, an excellent show.

And that Stuart Copeland theme:



The Best American Breweries of the Decade. No locals.

Lou Dobbs had 8 million reasons to quit CNN. Very amicable.

Ken Ober died, as well. He was the host of MTV's Remote Control. The one that gave us Colin Quinn and Cousin Stickpin. To this day, we still do a little "Dead or Canadian?". And he was also on a Jenga commercial which you would always watch and say, "Hey, there's Ken Ober."

Hitch writes about Palin.

Exercise Yard

The Bill Belichick gaffe is still raising eyebrows. But can you believe how many pundits are still saying it was the right move? Folks are quoting these stats about how the Patriots have gone for it on fourth down x number of times and how many times they were successful.

But I have yet to see a study break down those incidents. There is a huge difference when going for it on 4th down in the second quarter on an opponents 30-yard line than when he went for it last night.

Visitor

23 Across: God of thunder (4 letters) Answer: Thor

Good news on the TV front. I was able to catch up on three comedies that started up in the past week.

First, I think "The Office" might be climbing back. The debut episode actually made me laugh out loud for the first time in a long time while watching that program. When Steve Carrell grabbed the phone at the end of the episode and said "Hello, Cynthia.", I could not stop laughing.

Then it was the two HBO Sunday night programs. The return of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" was choice. Major laughs throughout. Funkhouser's mental patient sister played by Catherine O'Hara was a welcome addition. Everyone's character was played for maximum effect, especially Larry David at his best. Based on the first episode, this could potentially be one of their better seasons.

The other show was a newcomer to HBO, "Bored To Death". This stars Jason Schwartzman, Zach Galifianakis and Ted Danson. Enough of a quirky feel that has me interested in coming back for a few more episodes. Schwartzman has a lot of time on his hands, drinking white wine to get off booze while smoking lots of pot, and decides to become a "professional", yet "unlicensed" private detective. His clients respond to a Craigslist ad he posted. Anxious to see how this develops, could go either way.

Meal of Links

We all want to change the world. Here are some shocking ideas that would do it.

The most expensive movies of the past decade. And a lot of them were not very good.

Ten restaurant secrets. Yes, you are not dreaming. Watering down your beer and serving bottom shelf liquor from top shelf bottles make the list.

Exercise Yard

At least the Plain Dealer writer explains his college football ballot. Good to see some actual thought behind the process.

Visitor

19 Across: "A Beautiful Mind" star (12 letters) Answer: Russell Crowe

So, the Browns still haven't picked a Quarterback. Is that really going to make a difference this year? There was one key stat glossed over after the Browns beat the Titans, 23-17, last night.

The third preseason game has now become the highly-regarded "dress rehearsal" for the season. Probably a ploy to sell tickets these days, as even the Browns fans either have given up on full fare for preseason games or come disguised as orange seats. But the starters do have their most extended stint of the preseason during this game and some use this as a harbinger of things to come.

So, as the Browns fandom fellates each other because they think they've found a new starting QB, Brady Quinn, keep this in mind. The defense gave up 201 yards in the first half and should have been losing by a score of at least, 13-3 (more likely, 17-3), at the half.

OK, that didn't happen and the defense somehow gets a teeny bit of credit for that. But if you value highly what you saw last night, then be prepared for the better teams in the league shredding them.

If you're thinking the Browns are playing it close to the vest and showing nothing, then you have no worries. I say wake me up before Game 1 and then we can start the honest evaluations.

Meal of Links

Hey, we're almost a big city. Cleveland now has a beer week. Looks like it'll be easy to find a cheap pint that week.

The smells of New York. My favorite: "A medicinal-smelling person" on the Upper East Side.

Let's say you wanna cheat for your friends in baseball. Could you get away with it? Ask Miguel Tejada.

Exercise Yard

What the hell is going on with the University of Michigan? I guess they don't like Rich Rodriguez very much.

Visitor

None, on a Sunday that reminded me of early spring.