Not much goin' on except the grillin'.

Friday-Burgers

Saturday-Drumsticks and Roasted Corn

Today-Pork Chops, then Burgundy Mushroom Burgers.

Tomorrow-Looks like Ribs.

Meal of Links

I didn't know Celeste Holm was still around. She's embroiled in a family feud.

The Ten Greatest Liars. We know a few of these.

Worst Non-Handball Call Ever



Jim Morrison's been dead for 40 years. They are reissuing "LA Woman".

Exercise Yard

Hey, Wimbledon's over. Did you know Cinemark had both the men's and women's finals in 3D? That's why you pray for rain in these situations. Instead, it's grilling and yardwork for me.

Anyhow, Jon Wertheim breaks it down. Always the best recap if you watched nary a deuce.

Visitor

None, on a terrific Sunday.

I finally bought a new lawn mower. I replaced my old Craftsman with a new Craftsman from the fine folks at Sears. The old one still works, but is a pain in the ass to push. Oh, it's self-propelled, but it's probably 1996 self-propelled. I figure advances in technology will make this one easier to get around.

I did the old "Get Sears gift cards at Giant Eagle" trick to get cheaper gas for the mower, as well.

I am having an unveiling later this week and we'll see how it works. Look for the flyers on a telephone pole near you.

Meal of Links

The Louisiana House passed an odd sort of bill. It will allow you to bring a firearm to church. Oh, the individual places of worship would have to approve, but hey now, doesn't that sound a mite risky?

Maureen Dowd sticks up for Elena Kagan. Brilliant parody.

How your brain makes memories. A rather lengthy read, if I recall. Something about hippos on campus.

Exercise Yard

I imagine Johnny Cash riffing on Slim Pickens: "What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here?!" San Quentin inmates are now playing tennis.

Visitor

None, on a cool Sunday.

Randomness from today's Browns home game:




















Special Guest: Nomar Stalker. This decision was made once we saw the schedule, which provided a look at Adrian Peterson. The Brett Favre fiasco just added to it. Still surprised this remained a Fox at 1:00 game, as the media attention for this one is nuts. Easily could have been a 4 o'clocker. But I loves my Sunday at One games, and we have many this year, because of last year's suckiness.

Today's Opponent: The Diva-led Minnesota Vikings. Yes, Brett Favre comes out of retirement for the 57th time to lead the Purple People Eaters. And why wouldn't he? They have the best runner in the game, Adrian Peterson, probably the best offensive line, and speed at wideout. They also have a really good defense. They made the playoffs last year and are a legitimate Super Bowl contender with Favre (if he lasts the season). Their future in Minneapolis is probably at stake. New stadiums were built for the University of Minnesota and the Twins, they struggled to sell tickets for last year's playoff game, etc. Tough sell for them to get new digs. I'm sure the Browns will be cited there.

But the wrapper comes off of Browns Version 2.4 today. New coach, Eric Mangini may have fans running laps for their mistakes, as new-found discipline allegedly reigns in Berea these days. I have no idea what to expect from this bunch.

There is a new quarterback, Brady Quinn aka Dink II, who will be riding a white stallion, shirtless, into his debut today. If he stinks, well, it'll be time to draft a new QB next season and the roller coaster starts all over again. I think they have some major depth issues. If the Browns suffer injuries at wideout or running back, I think it's gonna be a long year. May be that way anyhow, because the schedule is frontloaded with way too many road games.

If we see some baby steps, such as not committing stupid penalties and playing to the final whistle, I'll be happy. I look for the Browns to lose by at least 2 touchdowns today.

Parking: East 6th northbound in a Truck Zone between Saint Clair and Rockwell. Not too bad for close to 10:30.

Pre-Game Festivities: Had to meet Nomar Stalker early, so I was in the park around 12:15 or so. Kinda normal stuff. Calisthenics, player drills, Shaun Rogers not participating in either, etc. The Browns had Dino Lucarelli, recently retired from the Browns PR department, out there as an honorary captain for the coin toss. The Browns won that and eschewed deferring.

The Browns Spirit Flag was unveiled and referred to as the largest Browns flag in the world. The National Anthem was played and the biggest of the Big Ass Flags was unfurled. And since it was the Opener, we got the flyover. This time it was two military transport planes with the honors.




















Worst Feature (For Me): "Hang on Sloopy" at the end of the third quarter. Fans in an angry mood, little participation.

The Weather: It's official. Marky Nolan AND Hollie Strano are going to do this together this year, regardless of each other's alcohol intake. Channel 3 Dual Doppler radar showed us nothing. A perfect day for football. Sunny and about 76. As usual, this time of year, we have the sun beating down on us until the scoreboard becomes our friend after halftime.

Today's Giveaway: One of the biggest jokes of a giveaway ever. The fine folks at TicketMaster made sure everyone who entered received a schedule...sticker? WTF? No schedule magnet, are you kidding me? I know times are tough, but what a load of crap from a company that charges me fees on fees to attend things. Unbelievable.

Section 345: Opening week means massive tailgating by the parties involved, but things started OK before the game. We have some new season ticket holders next to us who actually spoke to us and everyone around us seemed to be happy. And things kind of moved pleasantly at the start, until...

Part of the STH Handbook that goes to all season ticket holders is a list of Dos and Donts. It's obvious the Browns are getting a lot of complaints about "Unnecessary Standing". And, admittedly, this is becoming a bigger issue. Especially for a team that sucks, meaning we really don't have a lot to get excited about, so tell me, pinhead, why are you standing on 2nd-and-13? Well, a lady who has sat at the end of our row for a few years, did what you're instructed to do. She had security called for guys standing in front of her. Within the first 5 minutes. Of the first game. Of a brand new season. Uh-oh. Not exactly the way to win new friends. So, the start of a brand new season devolves into a litany of constitutional arguments right off the bat. You know, freedoms violated, I pay my money, this is America, etc. I half expected President Obama to be blamed. Of course, the rest of the game involved snide juvenile retorts about standing up.

But that was not the end of it. There are guys in our row who have this habit of yelling about people leaving early. They have been doing this for years. I have yet to figure this one out, because I can't reiterate enough how bad the Browns have sucked at home. They yell things like "This is Cleveland, we don't leave early." and "Let us know how the game sounds on the radio." Most times, people ignore it. Other times people tell them to fuck off or just smile slyly as they really are the smarter of the bunch. Then, every once in a while, you come across Guy Looking To Do Physical Harm.

See, when you yell something which you think is directed at the weakest of the bunch and there is a long line of people within earshot, a person who you did not intend to be a target assigns themselves the bullseye. And, of course, when you are yelling, you really can't back down, while hoping all of your friends have your back. My friends that is what happened today. The target decided to come after the yeller to have a discussion. But, for some reason, he was interceded by someone below. Hence, the instigator was off the hook, while all hell breaks loose in the aisle. This was beyond a minor skirmish. This was beers flying, punches thrown AND connected, security having a tough time intervening between the combatants, which now numbered about 8. Oh, the Browns have no chance of winning, so why not fight amongst ourselves?

Best Browns Play: Josh Cribbs 67-yard punt return. I am running out of superlatives for the guy. This was a game where the Browns were dead, and in a flash, they suddenly found themselves in the lead. He only had the punter to be beat with about 40 yards to go and made it look easy.

Best Vikings Play: Has to be the 64-yard TD run by Adrian Peterson. No question the Browns defense contributed to the play with some of the worst tackling we've seen since, oh, I don't know, the last home game? Horrible effort by the defense combined with Peterson never letting up results in a highlight film touchdown. Then more people left.

Worst Browns Play: In the second quarter, new offensive coordinator, Brian Daboll, decided that running Cribbs in the Wildcat inside the 5-yard line is suddenly a good idea. We gave him a pass on 2nd down when he did it. Unfortunately, he decided to run it again on 3rd down. And ran the exact same quarterback draw. The end result was 3 points. Ugh.

Second Worst Browns Play: Brady Quinn dropping a ball after a scramble was highly entertaining. Had that Keystone Kop feel to it.

Best Exchange:

PA Announcer: "Dino Lucarelli has been with the Browns in many capacities since 1975. Public relations, community relations, player relations and alumni relations."
Me: "Sounds like Dino's had lots of relations over the years."
Guy Next To Me: "Hahahahahahahahahahaha."

Best Line from a Random: "This team is not fun to watch." Yep, that about sums up the last decade of Browns football.

Oddest Browns Jersey: 2 Couch, 24 Fuller, 34 Droughns, 44 Suggs, 55 McGinest, 58 Taylor. Yes, folks, someone thought highly enough of Ben Taylor to buy his jersey.

Food Items: Had my pre-game Corona Lights at Alesci's. Hot dog and a soda. Each were $4.25 for a total of $8.50.

Best Fan Cam Feature: For some reason, one of the Browns mascots was rolling around on the ground. I happened to see this in front of me and wondered did the guy fall down, is he having a seizure? I look at the board and no, he's rolling around with a bone.

Worst Scoreboard Feature: I think this is another Mangini request. Scores from other games are not given or given sparingly. Now, I stayed until Tavaris Jackson entered the game for the Vikings and I did not see any scores posted from other games. Fantasy stats are posted. Actual game scores are not.

The Fuckin' Run: Seriously, will this ever end? The Vikings rolled up 225 on the ground, with Peterson getting 180. Imagine if they actually used him in the first half, when he only had 9 rushes.

Worst Stat: Browns had 5.1 yards per pass attempt. Once again, fanning the flames of Brady Quinn's ability to throw long.

2nd Worst Stat: Attendance was listed at 70,560. So, was it a sellout? Were there no-shows for Game One, on a beautiful day? Are we nearing blackout potential? What's up?

Most Interesting Stat: Brett Favre attempted only 4 passes longer than 6 yards. And it looked to be a chore each time he attempted one.

Penalties: The Browns had 8 penalties. Only 66 yards, but too many false starts. The oddest penalty was the Braylon Edwards TD catch that was overrruled on replay. If there is a loophole in a rule or an odd penalty, the Browns will find it. Edwards was clearly interfered with on the play. He was forced out of bounds, failed to re-establish his feet inbounds, made the catch for an apparent touchdown. But his catch, an illegal touch, nullified that. How can the defense be rewarded for pushing him out of bounds? I don't know, but that rule needs to be changed.

This will be viewed as a game of two halves for the Browns. But, let's be clear, the offense stunk in the first half and the Browns defense benefited by some terrible playcalling by the Vikings coach, Brad Childress aka Mr. Noodle. The offense had a short field after the Vikings botched an onside kick to start the game. The result was three points after a godawful shovel pass call on third down. If it wasn't for Cribbs punt return, they would not have had the lead at halftime. Meanwhile, the Vikings seemed to believe that Brett Favre was their best player in the first half. They had success running off tackle, but kept sending Peterson up the middle. And they completely ignored the rookie, Percy Harvin.




















I'm sure Mr. Noodle apologized to each member of his team at halftime and decided that Adrian Peterson is a stud and he better damn well not go down in flames in Game One and not use him. So, it was mainly Peterson right and left the rest of the afternoon. Percy Harvin may be the fastest player I have ever seen on a football field and he could be a huge playmaker for the Vikings this season. He contributed a couple of reverses and a touchdown catch in the third quarter.

Meanwhile, Dink II was at the helm for the Browns and this is the type of game I think we are going to have to get used to from him. Very shaky on the long throws. Mainly his interception and the called-back Edwards TD. Bad passes both. The short passing game will move the chains, but it's dull to watch. It's just that if Quinn attempts very few long passes during a game, his margin for success has to be high. Otherwise, these defenses will catch on and defend the short one.

It seemed today that Minnesota adjusted at halftime and the Browns didn't. The third quarter, I think, exposed the true Browns defense. Minimal linebacker speed and depth remain major issues.

The Browns lose, 34-20, in Game One. Their record in season openers, all at home since their return, is now a stellar 1-10.

Meal of Links

Ten types of people you won't see on Twitter. I kind of liked The Imposter.

Trying to predict the next bubble. An interesting read.

Oh, God. Signs from the 9-12 March. "For The Truth, Watch Fox News", "We Came Unarmed (This Time)", "Glenn Beck 2012", "Kurt Schilling for US Senate", "I Am Grandma, Don't Touch That Plug". Really? And the spellings of "Kurt", "menapause" and "prostitation" are choice.

Exercise Yard

Bad goal celebrations in soccer. And, yes, once again, Robbie Fowler sniffing the endline remains Number One.

The Best Ric Flair Flops (With Appropriate Music)



Federer With A Gem



Visitor

None, on a sunny day to kick off the NFL season.

Yes, I am still here.

And I'm still mad at that Joe Wilson. You know, the "You Lie" Guy. I fired off an e-mail to him, because of my anger. When it comes to healthcare, all I know is, my rates keep going up. It's interesting, I've been on all ends of this debate throughout my various employs: Uninsured by choice, COBRA'ed, fully paid benefits, a cafeteria plan, shared with employer.

As I've said, with Anthem, our rates increased 25% last year and we were due for another 17-19% increase that keeps eating away at your salary. So, something needs to be done. The "death panels" and immigrants are canards in this game, while pre-existing conditions and preventative care are the real issues. I happen to like my coverage I get at the Cleveland Clinic, but we can't sit idly by and keep having these increases, seemingly on a whim.

Meal of Links

20 Cool Canadians. Yeah, I'm into McAdams and I know it's limited to entertainers, but where is "Iron" Mike Sharpe, the greatest Canadian athlete?

Best Cover Songs. Almost 1900 of them. Can't believe Phish's version of "5:15" didn't make it.

Ship blazes an Arctic Trail. It used to be covered in ice. Seems the last time someone saw this place ice-free was only 5-to-7,000 years ago.

At US Open Tennis, the seeded players get to pick their music. Just like wrestling. Here are some choices.

Brushes with Greatness. I was on an airplane once with New Jersey Net players. They were tall.

Larry Gelbart died yesterday. I remember the Dead Pool community was abuzz with a report of his premature death a while back. His reply: "Does that mean I can stop exercising?" When other noted humorists proclaim him to be the best, you know he was funny.

Exercise Yard

Jeff Hardy gets busted for drugs. Seems like he lots of vicodin, steroids, etc.

Visitor

43 Down: Pitcher Jesse, who had the most career appearances (6 letters) Answer: Orosco More Brush with Greatness: I once saw Orosco in a mall in Milwaukee. Strangely enough, he was with the Indians at the time. Never saw him in town though.

Today is mayoral primary day in Cleveland. So, the Plain Dealer devotes several column inches in today's paper on Flo from Progressive. I hate Flo. It's Flo and the combination of her customers that sets me off each time I see them. The latest guy with the remote. The "empowered" guy with his price gun. The guy agreeing, but yelling. Aaaaargh.

Anyhow, I voted for the mayoral race. I walk up there and it was the only race where I had to cast a ballot. I even turned it over to make sure I wasn't missing anything. I got up there around 6:30 and I was Number 68. That's not a very big turnout.

Meal of Links

A fascinating article on a phone phreak. This kid may have been the best ever.

Looks like Monopoly will take over the online world starting tomorrow. They promise "epic fun".

Tomorrow is 09/09/09. Why it is special. That reminds me, did I really see that remake of "The Omen" on 06/06/06? I guess I did. Why, it seems it was just yesterday when that film broke.

"Big Brother" finally gets decent ratings. After 9 years. And 11 seasons.

A local guy's revenge.

Kentucky whipped up on my alma mater last weekend in college football. But I have the last laugh. Because only 51% of the residents of that state are sure President Obama was born in the USA. To be fair, another 29% are not sure.

Novak Djokovic does John McEnroe probably even better than the real thing. Johnny Mac gets in one last passing shot (in long pants!) on center court.



Exercise Yard

Why the Browns suck. "They basically hired the understudies of the two men who led the team to three last place finishes, two top-five draft picks and zero playoff appearances in four years."

Visitor

41 Down: Ralph Kramden's pal (8 letters) Answer: Ed Norton

My goodness, Time Warner Cable is acting like a real cable company, for once. All of the HD channels that they have been promising for a while finally showed up. They are:

ESPNews, ESPN U, MLB, Golf Channel, Versus, TLC, Science, Animal Planet, National Geographic, Travel Channel, ABC Family, Lifetime Movies, AMC, Bravo, FX, Speed, CNN, Fox News and CNBC.

Plus, I finally got the full array of On Demand channels that I never had and always wondered if it took some ancient Chinese secret to unlock them.

But it looks like for the next little bit, that's it for any HD additions.

Meal of Links

The Oscars have decided to expand the Best Picture category to 10 films. First of all, can they find 10 films and if they can, will blockbusters make it or more small films. Seems animated and foreign films probably benefit the most. And, of course, it's 5 more films to see.

We found the Governor of South Carolina. He was hiking in Argentina, I guess. Another unbelievable story. Fox News still has trouble calling these guys R's.

Volcano pictures. From space!

This guy predicted Lucas Glover could win the US Open a week ago. I'll definitely use him for British Open fantasy advice purposes.

There are only 8 US newspapers covering Wimbledon this year. Maybe they can cover some of the odd betting patterns while they are there.

The craziest plan to save a newspaper. Ever.

Exercise Yard

US Soccer beats Spain, the World No. 1, in the Confederations Cup in South Africa. Quite simply, the greatest US soccer victory in my lifetime.

Now, if they would just get rid of the damn horns.

Vuvuzela, the South African Thunderstick



Visitor

37 Across: Pete Rose nickname (13 letters) Answer: Charlie Hustle

An Iranian shoutout to Dylan.
































Even Wiki gets involved.

Meal of Links

Tracking NYC homicides. That's a lot to track.

David Cross really hates Jim Belushi. And it started several years before Belushi's TV show. Imagine that.

South Africa. Home of the 2010 World Cup. And lots of rapes. Sheesh.

Exercise Yard

Wimbledon starts on Monday. So does the match-fixing.

Visitor

52 Down: "The Audacity of Hope" author (5 letters) Answer: Obama

I did it. Yes, it's hard to believe that I did it. I finally finished reading my first book of 2009! I was determined to finish "Nixonland" by Rick Perlstein this weekend. I started this right after Christmas, I believe. I had about 120 pages to go and had been sitting on it for quite a while.

I hadn't yet reached Watergate and the conventions of 1972. In my defense, the text goes for 748 pages. And early winter, I was slogging through it pretty well. Then I just let it go. But I finally got through it and I'm glad I did. It was a very good book, because names from the past, many of whom I'd forgotten showed up. Lots of Northeast Ohio mentions, as well. Glenville riots, Kent State, etc. Good stuff.

Meal of Links

I went to Crocker Park to see "The Hangover". First thing I noticed is Harry Potter is gonna cost $10 for an evening show. First non-3D movie to hit $10 locally? I think so. And trailers that were once suitable for "All Audiences" are now suitable for "Appropriate Audiences". See, I do pay attention.

Less than 10 of us were there, but it was damn funny. I expect this to have staying power, as it is extremely quotable. Easily in the Top 10 comedies of the decade, probably Top 5.

I couldn't find a dead spot in it at all, from beginning to end...major laughs! Under normal circumstances I'd say Zach Galifianakis (His line: "Tigers like pepper...they hate cinnamon"..." killed me and when a cop told him, "Not you, fat Jesus." it put me on the floor. Plus, his "Rain Man" scene was choice.) steals the movie, but he actually doesn't. That's how well-written and well-acted it is. Everyone is strong, Ed Helms, "Black Doug", Jeffrey Tambor in a very limited role, Bradley Cooper, Heather Graham and her right breast, the wedding singer with crude lyrics was from The Dan Band, a character named Mr. Chow, and Mike Tyson is great. Hell, even Carrot Top is funny and he's only in photos over the closing credits. A must see.

Sad times. The Grammys have dumped the Polka category. Both Jimmy Sturr and Walt Ostanek ("Canada's Polka King") seem OK with it, so I'll follow their lead.

The Lance Armstrong of Cleveland






















The latest area official to come under scrutiny is none other then Cleveland Clerk of Courts, Earle Turner. He may have taken the lead in the Quote of the Year sweepstakes with this gem. When defending his work hours and lack of using his parking pass at the Justice Center, he said, "I ride my bike. I'm an avid cyclist." I don't want pictures. I want film on this guy riding a bike 7 miles to and from work.

Exercise Yard

The Indians won today. Hey, great news. Anyone wanna explain, all of a sudden, why Shin-Soo Choo is now the leftfielder? Anyone?

Why waste time with those guys when Tiger's back.

Federer's back, too.

Although, he almost had his "Seles Moment".



Visitor

None, a typical late spring Sunday.

Today was our first visit to Paul's new place in Parma for the Browns game. A significant neighborhood improvement from Love Canal. OK, so we are greeted with polkas and pink flamingos frolic amongst the gardens of chrome balls and pierogis, but alas, there are humans nearby. Unfortunately, it may take a while to determine my lucky seat to watch the games, because I certainly did not find it today.

A really curious effort from the Browns today. Seemingly with the season on the line, a terrible loss to a division rival. Derek Anderson...terrible. I had offered excuses for him before today, but not anymore. The Browns had 169 yards for the game. 169 yards! Ugh! They gave up 151 on the ground as the Ravens ran 42 times. You would be hard-pressed to find anyone who played well. A really awful display.

Browns lose, 28-10.

Meal of Links

As I was watching Manchester United-Chelsea this morning, I realized, we as taxpayers, are now sponsoring ManU, what with AIG on their unis. I'd bet LeBron wears their cap, too, being the frontrunner he portrays.


























Anyhow, the pitch looked immaculate this morning at Stamford Bridge, as Chelsea drew at home. A side note: Chelsea's owner, Roman Abramovich.

Speaking of LeBron, Esquire has a behind-the-scenes look at the business aspect of his life. I'm not sure this has been exposed before and it's rather interesting. It's all about the branding. Of course, he wants to be a global icon.

More on that Wall Street bailout. This guy calls it the Patriot Act of Finance. Even though we may not understand this, let's put the brakes on and scrutinize this deal further. Failures of the SEC Chairman.

Naked female bartending. May have been a hot day, post-Ike.

Exercise Yard

Team USA was entered in two sports this weekend.

In Davis Cup, the USA lost to Spain.

And the USA finally took back the Ryder Cup. Both teams played pretty terrific golf. The Euros got nothing from Garcia, Westwood and Harrington and that was probably the difference in the match. That was a surprise, as all three played very well this summer.

Visitor

None, it's a sunny Browns Sunday.

Can you tell I was in the South this weekend?

















I visited Mr. and Mrs. Mix in Nashville this past weekend and their dogs visited me while I was sleeping on Friday night. Well, it was toward morning and I was awake, but they hopped up anyhow. When they say it's a dog's life, they are not kidding. The main reason for the visit was to attend the...

RC Cola and Moon Pie Festival in Bell Buckle, TN

















It seems each person who has been in attendance before this year has called this festival "interesting". Bell Buckle itself is a small burg, known mainly for its antiques. On Saturday, that was the main focus. Thoughts about attending the Taste of Music City were dashed because we spent too much time in Bell Buckle and the weather by that time of the day was not cooperating as it rained a bit.

On Friday night, Mrs. Mix had an array of meats and cheeses awaiting for me to chow down on after my arrival. That goes swell with bourbon, I say. She had to run off to work, it seems the Moon Pie Flu was not enough to prevent her from working, although there weren't enough ill people to keep her there from doing a full shift, as we found out later. I was in charge of the dogs for about 20-30 minutes. My hands weren't very full, because they were in their normal watchdog pose. Which meant they were lying down, nearing nap mode.

After Mr. Mix (BTW, with new tattoos, a feisty looking Brutus Buckeye and a Pisces sign on each gun) came home, we finished watching the end of that Euro 2008 quarterfinal on the replay. Seems Turkey and Croatia were deemed an Instant Classic, although as it was nearing the end of Extra Time, I was wondering why. Two goals, one each, in the last 2 minutes was why. They went to kicks, where the Croats offered the lamest PKs you'll see in a long time. That meant it was the Turks against the Germans coming up on Wednesday in the Semis.

We then decided to wake up the echoes and catch a movie over by Opryland. Hey, the Gatlins were at the Opry that night, BTW. Anyhow, it was "Hulk" on the menu. The movie was pretty good, although it seemed there was a serious plot flaw, because a professor who was cooperating with Edward Norton (Bruce Banner) was found out and you would have thought the government would have been on his ass in an Instant Classic kind of way. Hey, and Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr., you know, Iron Man) shows up at the end as they keep setting up "The Avengers" movie.

But the coolest thing is at this Regal, there is a pick up line for concessions. See, this girl has a candy cart, and you think she's only selling candy, but wait, there's more. As long as you are paying in cash, the entire concession stand is within her purview. She calls in your order over the walkie-talkie and voila, you don't have to stand in line with the great unwashed. It's so cool when you hear that "2 Large Icees" order spoken into someone's collar.

Post-movie can only lead to one place...Sonic! 99-cent Hot Fudge Milk Shake, baby! Then it was back home to watch and listen to Vin Scully call Friday night's Indians-Dodgers game. How did the Tribe pull that one out of their collective ass? And that ended really late in the Central Time Zone, who stayed up that late here? I think I finally got that time zone thing down on this visit.

Then, on Saturday it was off to Bell Buckle. But first, it was lunch at Pawbowsky's in Murfreesboro. It's a mystery, but why does Nashville do better at Chicago-style dogs and sausages then Cleveland does. Beef sandwich, too, was a killer. I had me a sausage before we hit the festival, because you really can't do Moon Pies for lunch. And this is not a festival where there is a lot of other stuff. It's mainly RC Colas and Moon Pies, hence the name.

The festival itself was "interesting". Admission is free. You could park in a gas station on the corner for five dollars. They had lots of vendors selling jewelry and other boothy type items. I assume these vendors are there every week, although they may have been set up just for the Festival. When we entered the grounds of the Festival, we were taken aback, because it appeared it was in someone's backyard. I'm not kidding, it was in a triangular shaped field, with houses to the left and houses to the right. There we were, stuck in the middle with RC Colas and Moon Pies.

But as I was hoping, there it was, like from a dream. Four huge ice buckets filled with RC Colas. Not, just any RC Colas, but RC Cola in freezing-cold 12-ounce bottles! For a dollar and a quarter. I felt like Ray Kinsella's Dad from "Field of Dreams".

"Is this heaven?" "No. it's Bell Buckle, Tennessee."

















We opted for the Deep-Fried Moon Pies. Choice of chocolate and banana. They were both very good.

Ancient Tennessean Deep-Frying Secret

















Deep-Fried Chocolate Moon Pie

















That's pretty much what the festival is about. Oh, there are other activities. A 10K in the a.m. They have a play. They have Synchronized Wading. They crown a King and a Queen. They have clogging. And more clogging. Not only of your arteries, but of the dance variety, as well. They have a band. The Uncle Tom Band. Could you get away with that name locally, BTW? They also have a bunch of Olympic-type events. We stayed for the Moon Pie Toss and the RC Cola cans balancing on your head race. The field had to eventually try three cans. I think the winner may have been credited with two steps. I think she ran and got credit for them not falling as quick as the others.

But, as things usually go in the South, things were not exactly running on schedule. And it didn't appear that anyone really cared, so we moved off from sitting on hay bales, and decided to leave before the watermelon seed spitting and hog calling contests. And we missed out on the unveiling and cutting and eating of the world's largest moon pie.

The day kind of tuckered us out and we opted for a pizza place, Mellow Mushroom, down by Vanderbilt for more pies. I actually had a beer. First one in almost two months. Hey, it still tastes the same. And it goes good with a meaty pizza.

Today, it was a stop at Vanderbilt Hospital to unclog my arteries and then off to the airport. Where my flight was delayed for over 2 hours. Because our plane couldn't take off from Tampa. Hey, what to do? Bloody Marys at the Gibson Cafe, that's what, and make mine a double! We then had a window to beat the rain to the south and east and miss the hail that blew through this region. And I got back about 5:20.

I already pining for next year's Festival.

Meal of Links

I guess everyone has tired of Mike Myers. It's safe to say, with the constant publicity this movie has received, "Love Guru" bombed.
TEXT

How to save a skyscraper. Against earthquakes.

Hey, I thought only the NBA had fixed games. The betting scandal in tennis seems to be getting some legs.

Exercise Yard

They won't be at the semis.
















Neither will she.































In Euro 2008, you knew the Dutch were gonna flop yesterday, didn't you? Today, it was not Spain, but the Italians who lost on Penalty Kicks. Geez, that was boring. That sets up the semis as Germany-Turkey on Wednesday and Russia-Spain on Thursday.

It's gotta be a Germany-Russia final, n'est ce pas?

Visitor

None, I was airborne. Then Rainborne.

The verdict is in on the crosswords. I'm not sure what to make of the vote, but the LA Times won over the NYTimes. I understand there is a rhythm and nuance to the same crosswords from a syndicate over the years. But I am amazed the NYTimes lost out. I'm not sure it's because it's tough, because as a town, we basically our admitting our stupidity. I did 11 of the 12 that were offered, with last Saturday's a true monster. It's something else.

I'd like to think it's because if you've liked the NYTimes puzzles, you've probably sought them all along from different sources, including the Times itself or online. And that's the problem with the NYTimes Syndicate. The Sunday puzzles are a week behind, the dailies are 6 weeks behind. For instance our January 13th puzzle was in the NYTimes on December 2. So, there is a lag time if you actually had a copy of the Times.

Needless to say, today's was really easy by comparison.

Meal of Links

I am so glad the Kinsale Tavern is not even close to where I live. I fear I would never leave.

Leo Sayer goes berserk on "Celebrity Big Brother". Over underwear. Yes, underwear.

Looks like the "Hold Your Wee for a Wii" contest was awash with bad results. Water, a killer! Who knew?

Exercise Yard

Tennis hooligans. Serbs against Croats. That's novel. Say, Let's hope Marcos Baghdatis goes far this year. His fans are nuts.

Visitor

42 Across: Queen of Soul Aretha (6 letters) Answer: Franklin