The first reviews of the Charlie Sheen tour are in. Let's say, they are losing, for sure. There seemed to be two camps going into this thing. One was the "I wanna see a trainwreck" camp. The other camp, which I fell in, was the more prudent approach. I mean, how exactly was he gonna entertain me, given he doesn't do stand-up, sing or dance. Especially at the prices he was charging.

Well, I guess we found out in Detroit. And, for such a bad economy, how did nearly 5,000 people in Detroit scrape up enough cash to see this circus? Maybe they were government-funded research subjects. Afterward, no one seemed to know why they were there. Or, if they were there to see a trainwreck, they could not explain why they were disappointed. Doesn't anyone find that even a teeny bit scary? From alleged adults?

Actually, the show was kinda what I surmised it might be. A question and answer session, a comic, some music, the goddesses. The Q&A obviously needs work going forward. You need a third party asking questions, then you have them ask written audience questions. Shows a real lack of planning. What I was curious to find out was he thought his use of video was going to somehow win over the crowd. For him to be booed extensively, it must have been a truly awful experience for everyone involved. Kudos to Team Sheen for keeping details under wrap before the first show.

Let's track ticket sales going forward. If Sheen continues to sell advanced tickets at a premium, he's the modern-day P.T. Barnum. If future shows are cancelled or ticket sales, at the very least, lag, there may yet be a glimmer of hope for us all.

And I like the dude. But he thinks he's Howard Beale when he's actually as disappointing as Howard the Duck. Too bad he's going down. Hard.

Meal of Links

John Kricfalusi shows us some maps of the old Warner Bros. Cartoons offices. From a Bob Clampett collection.

AMC Stubs has finally come to Cleveland. I still have my doubts, but I do find myself going there more.

Wachovia laundered drug cartel money from Mexico. They paid a fine.

Haley Barbour's wife says her husband's presidential run horrifies her. And lots of others, I presume.

Richard Manuel would have been 68 today. Listen to him on the classic "You Don't Know Me", written by Eddy Arnold and made famous by Ray Charles, amongst others.

"You Don't Know Me"/The Band



Ten promising pilots for fall. One guaranteed bomb.

Exercise Yard

What? Wrestlemania is tonight? Here's a liveblog.

Visitor

None, on a cloudy Sunday.

Opening Day 2011

Got my first look at the Indians of 2011 yesterday. Naturally, they lost. This time though, it was embarrassing. The White Sox absolutely pounded Fausto Carmona on their way to a 15-10 win. Gale and I had seats in Section 109, and I got to be "End of Row Boy".

Progressive Field was a beacon in the distance, two hours before game time.





















Things of note: Typically, everyone wants to know what's going on inside the park. No, I didn't go all the way around, but virtually everything inside has gone up in cost. Opening Day Parking, BTW, was stable. I paid $20 in the traditional Hanna Garage spot, and most places were charging that price.

Rabbi Feldman's grilled hot dog stand in right field has changed this year. It's a bigger grilled dog slathered in onions, called a Slugger Dog, and that'll set you back (gulp!) $8.50. Not sure if other grilled dog stands exist. We'll find that out later. You can get a Brat or Italian Sausage there for $6.75. Not sure about the price of vendor dogs.





















Cracker Jack is $4.00, Peanuts are $4.50, so Marc's still cannot be beat. New this year is multicolored Cotton Candy. This comes in a bag for the amazing price of $6.00. A unique concept of a product kids love, but don't like to share, at exorbitant prices! Bottles of water were $4.50 and Gatorade will set you back $5.00 a bottle.

But, what about the beer? OK, I didn't see the foreign beer stand where, in years past, you could get Guinness and others. The Leinie Lodge had $7.75 Leinenkugels.

Dad's Beer Stand, predictably, had the longest lines. You could wash down Andy Capp Fries and Beer Nuts with a 12-oz. Blatz, Gennesee, Iron City, Natural Light, Pabst, Rolling Rock, Schaefer or Stroh for $4.50. I honestly don't get the nostalgia here. There are some lousy beers in that bunch.





















Beer from a vendor? This is where the variable pricing model has run amok. You can get a 24-oz. can (yes, they are back this year) of beer for $10.00. Yes, beer has hit $10 at the park. Or you can get a 16-oz. bottle for $7.75. Even more choices, a Gennessee vendor has 24-oz. cans for only $8.00. That would be Gennesee, Genny Cream or Gennessee Ice.

Bob Feller Salute

I'll hand it to the Indians, they did a much better job with the Feller salute than with the Herb Score Tribute a couple of years back. Big time ups on the video. The team wore Number 19 uniforms in the pre-game. Mrs. Feller put the ball of the first pitch on the pitching rubber. Bunting. Balloons. Bigass Flag. As Always. Real nice stuff.





















The Game

Can we quit with the White Sox as an opener. Chicago's Mark Buehrle now has 9 Opening Day starts. Six against the Indians.

Even though I was in the park, I have yet to see the Indians score a run in person. in a tribute to Bob Feller...Redass, we did a "five-and-fly". We had good seats in right-centerfield, but our row should have been renamed Row P. Our row seated 24 people, but it might as well have been 100, because I have never had to let that many people out to buy a beer or pee in all of my years attending sporting events. Ever.

Combined with a joke of a game, where I think I saw Austin Kearns flag down seven balls in the leftfield corner and watch two homers fly over his head. And, while it was 14-0 in the fifth and watch the Tribe look at only four pitches in their half of the inning, it literally drove us to drink, cheaply, at Alesci's. Where we got to see whatever faux comeback fall short.





















White Sox kill the Tribe on Opening Day. Loss No. One, 15-10. Today, the smallest crowd in the history of the park watched them lose again. It's a shame, but that's Baseball 2011.

Meal of Links

I realize I am a bit late to this game, but I went to Outback Steakhouse for the first time on Thursday. Kind of impressed with the place. My Dad had been there before and got a 6-oz. size and enjoyed his potato soup. I opted for a 10-oz. ribeye that was chargrilled over an open flame with a baked potato and salad. At the very least, I'll consider this as a dining option and no, I have no idea why it took this long to get there.

Us polkateers went to the early morning viewing of "Polka: The Movie". So popular, the Film Fest had two showings this morning. I figured at least 300 people were there to see this one. Kind of an average movie, which suffered from some decidedly poor editing. We get it, the Slovenian neighborhood of Cleveland is in decline. They really needed more music here. It was like they got to the '70s and said OK, who still plays this stuff? If it was a history lesson, you never got the full version. Not even any "Polka Varieties" footage. Hell, even Paul Sciria was in "Kill The Irishman".

After the movie, we visited P.J. McIntyre's in West Park. Heavy Irish vibe, but really good food, liquor and beer selections here. Not a surprise, it's a popular place. I shared some Reuben Egg Rolls and followed that with some Angus Beef Sliders. Homemade chips, too.

Your cell phone as wallet. Coming soon.

Record Store Day is in two weeks. Here are the most interesting releases. Check out the new license plate in Tennessee.

It's the Ramones. Always good, no matter what is recommended.

Looks like Eddie Izzard will have another go at an FX series. "The Riches" first season was superb, I thought.

They have announced the 2011 Peabody Awards. Those you may have heard of: "Justified", "Men Of A Certain Age", C-SPAN, "Degrassi", "If God Is Willing and da Creek Don't Rise", and ESPN's "30 For 30".

How to play well with drugs. Mainly, don't mix your drugs.

New book is out. "The Oxford Book of Parodies", which asks the question, "Mickey or Bugs?" As a cynic, I am solidly in the corner of Bugs.

Exercise Yard

Who won the World Cup of Cricket? Why, that would be India.

Visitor

30 Across: Mattingly's predecessor (5 letters) Answer: Torre

Elizabeth Taylor died today. Uh...those eyes. She gets the Turner marathon on April 10.

Meal of Links

Paul Reiser is back on NBC. But do they really want it to be a hit? Doesn't meet their age requirements.

The best journalism want ad ever. Great stuff. "We have all kinds of corruption, violence and scumbaggery."

Corey Feldman's jacket from "Dream A Little Dream" was stolen. I guess he still wears it.

Medical marijuana sales are now at $1.7 billion. Only $200 million behind Viagra.

If Trebek Did Football Highlights



Cartoon Network announces its new series. What? New productions of Bugs and Daffy? They better not be despicable.

Music from 1981. Rick James at his best. Plus two albums I've worn out. Elvis Costello with "Trust" and "Sandinista!" by The Clash.

Exercise Yard

This essay contains some of the best boxing writing you'll read for a while. We get Virginia Woolf, Gatti-Ward and Castillo-Corrales. Also video of Round 9 of Gatti-Ward and Round 10 of Castillo-Corrales. Long form writing at its finest.

Ditsractions at college basketball games. New this year: Giant cardboard heads.

That reminds me. Here are are your Sweet Sixteen winners.

Thursday:

San Diego State
Florida
Duke
Wisconsin

Friday:

North Carolina (I had Washington)
Kansas
Kentucky
Florida State (I had Purdue)

Visitor

46 Across: Slugger Ramirez (5 letters) Answer: Manny

We had some crime in the hood last night. Some brave soul went up and down everyone's driveway, looking for easy marks. Yes, I was one, as I left my car unlocked after chipping off a whole bunch of ice Monday, thinking last night's mix was going to be a nuisance. I suffered an incredibly minor loss. My neighbor, ouch. He got nicked bad.

Meal of Links

Memories...the 5 most dangerous cars. Of course, the Pinto was Number 1.

With St. Patrick's Day nearing, it's Shamrock Shake time. Here is your Shamrock Shake Locater.

If you stumble upon it, I guarantee you'll get some laughs. The world of Adult Swim.

Always had a thing for Judy Greer. So, here you go.

What you will see on the Oscar telecast. What really bothers me is when they basically show the trailer for nominated films. Why not pick the best scene, like they used to?

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

Renting. Not a bad idea anymore.

Some people go ga-ga for their Oscar parties. Especially their food selections. "127 Hours", I guess, provides stumpy foods?

Palin with an old trick. The second online identity! Amen.

Exercise Yard

Norris Cole gets some ESPN love. He is clearly the best player CSU has had in the last 20 years, surpassing J'Nathan Bullock.

If the Gary Waters Era truly takes off, I look for Cole's number to eventually be retired.

Visitor

24 Across: Jazz guitarist Montgomery (3 letters) Answer: Wes

It was almost 4 years to the day since I had seen Roger Waters in town. Last time was 9/27/06. This time, Gale and I went to see his presentation of “The Wall”. Waters had performed this barely thirty times in the past. This tour will at least double the amount of performances when he’s finished with this round.

But what I saw on Tuesday was easily one of the best I’ve seen. Part rock concert, mostly stage show, but certainly all spectacle. But it seemed right to dust it off now. Thematically, it’s a good time to stage “The Wall”. And it did not disappoint.

The Venue: The former home of LeBron James, the Quicken Loans Arena. Big enough to have a wall constructed. I’m glad I’m not Asian, as signs posted at the entrances read: “Pyro and Strobes in use during show”. In a pricing quirk, I saw beer ($7.25) priced higher than cocktails ($7.00). Although I didn’t see any booze, only wine. BTW, t-shirts were going for $40 and $50. Needless to say, I did not buy anything.

Roger Waters: Waters is one of the most politically overt entertainers out there. At 67, he hasn’t backed down one bit. But, if you check your politics at the door, the stuff he says should not be favored by one party or the other. For example, during “Mother”, he asks, “Mother, should I trust the government?” Then, on the portion of the wall that was built up to that time, the answer appeared in bright red letters read: “No Fucking Way”. Later on, during the song, “Bring the Boys Back Home”, those words appeared on the wall, and spontaneous applause broke out while there was a pause in the lyrics. Man, it was a moment that was truly lump-in-the-throat time.

I’ll contrast Waters with what you see at a U2 show. When Bono gets on the soapbox, you know it’s coming and, at times, you roll your eyes and realize OK, it’s a timeout for the political bullshit. But with Waters you know he doesn’t speak as an American, or a Briton, but as someone who understands what it means to be a citizen of the world. The message is bold and heartfelt and I like it very much.

One other thing. Waters is very appreciative of the crowd. He is serious when he has to be, but not afraid to smile and wave to the crowd when appropriate. At the end, he said this, “Thank you so much, from the bottom of all our hearts. You’ve been a fantastic audience, and it means a lot to us.”

Tickets: We went full fare this time (cost ticked over the $100 mark—think of it as a Broadway show, if it’ll make you feel better) and were in the Club seats. We had Section 109 in the Clubs, which was the second section from the stage. Aisle seats with a perfect view.

The Band: There was an array of eleven musicians and vocalists with Waters this time. Roger barely plays his bass, but remains in front of the wall most of the time. So, when they were building the wall, he had his Gilmour sub, Robbie Wyckoff, to the left, with four other backup singers in the middle. Drums were to the left, not on a riser. Plenty of guitars in the back, including my favorite whipping boy from the Browns games, G.E. Smith, on one of them. Yes, there was a G.E. Smith sighting at “The Wall”! Keyboards were on the right.

Of course, there were local kids who got to sing, “We don’t need no education…” Had to be from Cleveland, because maybe they need that education. They were supposed to sway together, but some were going one way and the others, the opposite direction. And they couldn’t stay in a straight line to save themselves. But their shirts read, “FEAR BUILDS WALLS” and that makes up for a lot.

The wall is finally constructed right before intermission. So, the first song afterward, “Hey You”, is done behind the wall. Waters is the focus for the next several songs. During “Nobody Home”, the wall folds out and there is Roger sitting in an easy chair in his hotel room, with the crowd chiming in to sing, “Got 13 channels of shit on the TV to choose from.” This leads up to what is one of my favorite songs.

"Comfortably Numb"/From Chicago



For “Comfortably Numb”, Waters is on the stage, while separate scaffolds carry Wyckoff and another guitarist to the top of the wall. Yeah, it takes two guys to replace David Gilmour! Talk about wishing you were here. I absolutely love the way Gilmour sings the chorus on this song. But they did an awfully good job on this song on Tuesday. Gilmour is rumored to make one appearance on this American tour. If he does it for this song, without any intro, and rises above that wall, I swear people will crap their pants.

After that, all of the songs are performed in front of the wall, until the wall comes tumbling down after “The Trial”. We all chanted, “Tear down the wall!” Sort of like “Let them play!” from that hideous “Bad News Bears” sequel. For the finale, ”Outside the Wall”, the lights go up and the band is dressed colorfully for the first time, dumping the black.

The Crowd: No chaperone hat, because this was truly an all ages show. Aw, these kids today. They didn’t seem to appreciate what they were seeing. My God, the row in front of was a revolving door. And, of course, there was a helluva lot of smoke with the hippy lettuce debuting by the end of song two. But, it was well-behaved and we saw only one person carried out by stretcher. He seemed to be, ahem, comfortably numb.

Props: When any Floyd member is involved, you have lots of visuals and, obviously, they did not disappoint. We had balloons representing Mother, the Teacher and the Wife. The actual wall allowed all sorts of graphics and film to be shown.

Once again, he had pics of his father who died in WWII during “In the Flesh”. This morphs into a photo of a new American soldier, then an Iraqi boy, a Somali woman, a New York City firefighter, all dead. At the conclusion of that song, a war plane crashed into the wall. We were on that side and it was cool to see.

He had photographs of fallen heroes, in war and peace, from all sides that he rotated during intermission. I even spotted Gandhi. It had a picture, when they were born and when they died as stats. Really an amazing visual.

The circular screen that Floyd seems to favor was also on hand. It showed a lot of the animation from the film version. Flowers having sex, marching hammers, etc.

"Run Like Hell" (with the Pig!)/From Chicago



Guess who else made an appearance during “Run Like Hell”? The pig!!! Yes, that old warhorse was put into service again. I love that pig and his red eyes that blink on and off. He has it labeled with RUN and "Trust Us". Plus, it displayed a Shell Oil logo, one of Roger’s favorite targets.

Also there were shots on the wall during “Run Like Hell” that mocked Apple. For instance, sheep (with their iPods) appeared followed by the word “iFollow”. Plus creepy terrorist-looking guy with an “iTeach” immediately followed by kids with “iLearn”.

During “Empty Spaces”, the animated bombers dumped out corporate logos among nation logos (Stars of David, Crescents, Dollar Signs), as well. I saw the Mercedes and Shell Oil (again) logos.

And the wall collapsing was something to see. I think the people in Row 1 may not have been completely sure it was safe, as it came hurtling at them. But it piled up in the pit between them and the stage.

The Music: I’m quite surprised at some of the early reviews that say Waters is sounding pretty good. Um, I think there may be some behind-the-scenes dubbing going on that make it sound that way. And I’m OK with it. As a matter of fact for “Mother”, he played a duet with an old film of himself that had the vocal tracks from 30 years ago. So, who knows? His voice was shot 4 years ago and I’m skeptical now. But, again, I don’t care.

Highlights were what you think they would be. “Comfortably Numb”, “Run Like Hell” were both stellar.

All in all, a fantastic effort.

Setlist:

“In the Flesh”
“The Thin Ice”
“Another Brick in the Wall Part 1”
“The Happiest Days of Our Lives”
“Another Brick in the Wall Part 2”
“Mother”
“Goodbye Blue Sky”
“Empty Spaces”
“What Shall We Do Now?”
“Young Lust”
“One of My Turns”
“Don't Leave Me Now”
“Another Brick in the Wall Part 3”
“The Last Few Bricks”
“Goodbye Cruel World”

(20-Minute Intermission)

“Hey You”
“Is There Anybody Out There?”
“Nobody Home”
“Vera”
“Bring the Boys Back Home”
“Comfortably Numb”
“The Show Must Go On”
“In the Flesh”
“Run Like Hell”
“Waiting for the Worms”
“Stop”
“The Trial”
“Outside the Wall”

Next stop...Boston.

Meal of Links

I happened to see "Wall Street 2" at the Capitol on Monday. This surprised me. It was much better than I thought it would be. I don't know if it's Michael Douglas near the end, but to revive Gordon Gekko was pretty sweet. Basically, he still loves the game, knows how to play, but he doesn't have a stake. That's where his daughter, Carey Mulligan comes in. Good job by Shia Lebeouf and Josh Brolin, once again, steals the show. New York is beautifully photographed and you get a score with Byrne/Eno tunes, with "Naive Melody" over the closing credits, as in the first movie.

When Der Bingle met the Thin White Duke. Or "When Crosby Met Bowie". Even more Bowie.

Mick Foley reveals Tori Amos changed his life. And this is why Mick is still the most beloved of all wrestlers.

Thermos probably has your favorite lunchbox displayed. Pretty cool site.

The MacArthur Genius Grants were announced earlier this week. David Simon got one. Deserved, I may add.

Finally. It took the Senate, of all places, to lower the volume on commercials. It was unanimous and they agree on nothing.

Quentin Tarantino's longtime editor, Sally Menke, died the other day. She was the only editor he worked with. Cast and crew always had time for a "Hi, Sally!" as she edited.

"Hi, Sally!"



The Flintstones turn 50. This, on the day Stony Curtis died.

Pee-Wee Herman will host "Raw". Now that could be funny.

Today's WTF?



"Death Wish 3" really sucks. Trust me, it's bad.

Roger Waters already in trouble over "The Wall". ADL not liking those "Stars of David" dropping like bombs.

Being Glenn Beck. Kudos if you get through it.

Exercise Yard

Reds win division. Reds celebrate in locker room. Reds smoke cigars. Uptight fans call smoking ban complaint hotline.

Visitor

1 Down: 1997 Depp title role (6 letters) Answer: Brasco

What is with this pastor who's going to burn Korans on Saturday? I take it, on a good day, he speaks to about 50 people at most. Yet, he can parade around on TV and get more than the 15 minutes he's due, when the world thinks he's a tad overzealous?

Gainesville has a Florida Gator home game this weekend. So, they have to deal with the security of 90,000 at the game and addressing this nutjob at the same time. Could you imagine being in law enforcement and get taken off stadium detail to deal with this crap? I wouldn't be happy.

My sense is that God puts Glenn Beck on hold and tells this pastor to cool his jets on this subject by Saturday. Because he doesn't seem to be in a hurry to call it off.

Meal of Links

What a way to go. The bassist from ELO died by getting crushed by a hay bale.

You think you have problems. Check out these frustrating relationships from literature.





























I don't watch "Psych" very often. But a "Twin Peaks" episode intrigues me.

Now, this is art. A 600-member Hanna Barbera Cartoon Character Matrix.

They watch TV in Canada, too. The best Canadian shows of the past 25 years. "Degrassi", of course, and "The Kids in the Hall" make it.

Jeezy creezy. The judge in that Don Johnson "Nash Bridges" trial doubled his damages to $51 million.

Cannot wait. Donal Logue is back on TV tonight with the debut of "Terriers".

A look back at Tammy Wynette. Of course, they include "D-I-V-O-R-C-E". I think she is very under appreciated these days.

A review of "I'm Still Here". Yep, the Joaquin Phoenix doc draws nigh.

The importance of David Bowie. And a re-release of the 6-song masterpiece, "Station to Station". I just heard "TVC15" a week ago and I marvel at how good it still sounds.

"TVC15" (Live Rehearsal)/David Bowie



Exercise Yard

Lord Football starts tomorrow. Saints vs. Vikings. Look for Drew Brees to start the "Who Dat?" chant.

Visitor

12 Down: Punk rock icon Joey (6 letters) Answer: Ramone

"Judy Is a Punk"/Ramones

Why do we torture ourselves by following these teams? Because we love to be tortured! I mean, would we really know how to act if we ever won one of these things? But this Cavs loss was a killer. I can't believe they were knocked out a round earlier than last year. It just doesn't make any sense. They are regressing with better talent.

Oh, there will be lots of blame to go around. I'm not sure we'll have Mike Brown to kick around anymore. He is the third longest tenured coach in the Eastern Conference behind Doc Rivers and Mike Woodson. Doc is making noise about leaving the Celtics and I suspect Woodson and Brown are on shaky ground. Avery Johnson is available and I love the way he talks. Hire him.

And I think LeBron stays, so there's your Cavalier summer.

Cavs lose, 94-85. Game over. Series over. Season over.

Meal of Links

The 40 Best Cartoon Characters. With Video. Dr. Doofenshmirtz is Number 8! OK, no Pink Panther, no Foghorn Leghorn, and Daffy Duck is much, much better than Number 19.

The music from "Treme". Shows up every Monday.

New Coke machine gives you a choice of 104 flavors. 335% more flavors than Baskin Robbins.

Look what else you can get in a vending machine. Pizza!

I dunno. I think I'd be more impressed if movies were not his job. But he's viewing "100 Movies in 100 Days". I am probably jealous.

This guy loves flushing toilets. I am not sure if there any members of the Brown Trout Club, but I think it's safe. Literally, Toilet Humor.

7 things you need to stop doing on Facebook. Perhaps, joining should be on there.

A Warhol self-portrait goes for $32.6 million. The new owner is Anonymous Bidder.

Great news. The "Rockford Files" remake is floundering.

Exercise Yard

Drew Bledsoe scores. With wine. Robert Parker rates it a 91-94. Outstanding.

Visitor

44 Across: Comic Cheech (5 letters) Answer: Marin

It's the end of an era today. I decided not to renew my Browns season tickets. I said if it ever got to the point of being a chore to attend the games, I'd probably give them up. Last year's combination of a really bad team, lousy opponents and not-so-good weather all contributed mightily to that decision.

It won't prevent me from seeing a couple of games, I'm sure. But, at least, for this year, I will be a free agent to watch the home games.

BTW, here is the home record since the Browns have been back, which made the decision much easier:

31 wins and 57 losses. A winning percentage at home of .352. With 7 of those wins in one year, 2007. Ah, the Glory Year!

Eleven years of some incredibly awful football.

Meal of Links

Cartoons that have caused controversy. Some of these were really hot at the time.

Capaicin is found in chili peppers. Now it can stop chronic pain.

Crap. Bad habits can age you 12 years.

Kenny Fuckin' Powers goes to Mexico for Season Two. No idea when it starts.

Wrestlers turned actors.

The Tribe needs to get on this. The Wendy O. Williams Bobblehead!

What if the Tea Party was black?

Almost spinoffs. Popular shows that tried to spinoff a show and it didn't quite work the way producers had planned. The Big Ragu didn't make it.

WTF? The owner of Joe Boxer now owns the rights to "Peanuts".

There is always electricity in the air when you get "fatcats" to appear in a Senate hearing. And, yes, I heard Claire McCaskill say "shitty" during the hearing. Sen. Levin loved it so much, he said it a bunch of times.

I give you the catchiest song of the spring...

"Felicia"/The Constellations



Exercise Yard

Before the draft, you can't ask Dez Bryant if his Mom is a prostitute. In the new world of the NFL, that's a fineable offense, not a peek into someone's psyche.

Visitor

14 Across: Bruin legend Bobby (3 letters) Answer: Orr

Conan says, "No effin' way!". Even Richard Nixon knew the value of a good talk show host.








































Meal of Links

Is swine flu a scam? Leading health expert says it was a "false pandemic" and made billions for drug companies.

I've thought about this ad a lot. Domino's Pizza seems to really hate their product. Or, I guess, their former product.

Bordain talks about the new season of "No Reservations". He quit smoking, would eat Giada's food and cannot stand Sandra Lee.

Pee-wee is back.

If you watch too much TV, you'll die. Looks like I gotta cancel that football watching this weekend.

Jacques Demers is now a Canadian Senator. Huh?

Could you ever imagine getting a letter like this? A response from John Kricfalusi, the "Ren & Stimpy" creator.

Voiceover in film. All the ones you think would be included are present.

Exercise Yard

Some Mark McGwire stuff. Oh, MLB will accept this "apology" while most of us wonder what the hell is McGwire is talking about. Really, there are statements he made that are downright laughable.

Visitor

59 Across: Baseball's Big Papi (10 letters) Answer: David Ortiz

I don't have to attend work until January 4. So, I am going to have nothing but fun the next 11 days. And that includes two Browns games. Gee, 60 years ago today the Browns won their first NFL title.

Meal of Links

As I start to write this, Santa is in Estonia. Because I'm tracking him on NORAD.

Your Christmas TV marathons. Me? I've got 11 English Soccer matches from Boxing Day through Wednesday.

Sweden has one bizarre Christmas tradition. Lots of people watch a Donald Duck cartoon.

It seems the Apple Tablet announcement will be next month.

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas

This version of "Mr. Heatmiser" has become my favorite Christmas song in recent years. It's sort of traditional, it's got a good beat, and allows for singing along. And kids of all ages like it. "I'm Mister Green Christmas. I'm Mister Sun. I'm Mister Heat Blister. I'm Mister Hundred-and-One. They call me Heatmiser. Whatever I touch. Starts to melt in my clutch. I'm too much!"

"Mr. Heatmiser"/Big Bad Voodoo Daddy



Exercise Yard

George Michael died today. Not that George Michael. No, the one who used to run the Sports Machine. Spent many a Sunday night with that guy. Much bigger influence than we probably know.

Visitor

24 Across: Presidential pollster John (5 letters) Answer: Zogby

While I was absorbed by the Browns last night, I realized how behind I was with regard to Christmas and all of its trappings. Like starting to gather gifts for other people. Did some of that a weekend ago online, but realized I still had a bunch more to do, as I had ordered several things for me. Then I looked at the calendar, muttered an expletive and decided I better hop to it.

So, tonight, it was the traditional writing of the out-of-town cards. Using my neighbor's spotlight as the light source, I accomplished that. Tomorrow, it's social time.

On the Fourth Day of Christmas...



(What the hell is going on? I swear that is a spazz attack!)

Meal of Links

The police finally close the case of the murder of Adam Walsh. The perpetrator died in prison 12 years ago.

Turner Classic Movies lists the schedule for 31 Days of Oscar. TCM University is the theme. February 16 is a keeper. "The Conversation" is on February 20, mark it down. And check out the Athletic Department on February 28. Not a dog the entire day. Don't call me, because it'll be really dusty over here around Noon that day, when Jack Warden figures it all out in "Heaven Can Wait". Gets me every time.

The Worst Movies of 2008. "Indiana Jones", hah! But "Witless Protection" makes Number One. Or should that be Number Two?

The Detroit Free Press offers big changes. Home delivery only 3 days a week. Newsstand still has an edition every day. Which makes me wonder. When was the last time I actually used a newsstand?

Some dude on "The Price is Right" guesses correctly and wins the Double Showcase with a perfect guess for the first time in 35 or 36 years.



Then how come it sounds like Drew Carey is as excited as he is when he is reading the phonebook? I agree with Leitch, it has to be a re-shoot.

Exercise Yard

Braylon. You just buried yourself, dude. This town will never forgive him. If he wanted out, he could have gone about it a different way.

Visitor

41 Across: 1999 Brendan Fraser film based on a Hanna-Barbera toon (13 letters) Answer: Dudley Do-Right

While trying to determine if Rick Manning says "bang-bang" during each Indians broadcast:

I learned to always wait for the results of the blood test. I get a call from my doctor yesterday that I, indeed, have "the gout". Who knows how you get it, I can't think of anything out of the ordinary that has happened lately to trigger this. No sudden changes in diet or eating something that may have caused it.

Again, I consider myself lucky because I don't have any pain, really. But I have to be on a medication for 10 days and after that, switch over to some sort of more permanent (for the time being) med.

Meal of Links

As I arrived home yesterday with choppers hovering:

















I realized that Papa John's Fever was infiltrating the neighborhood. As I was walking around yesterday, I thought I'd gawk at the Fulton Road location for grins, and at the corner of my street, there was a young kid eating his out of the box. I guess when you wait a long time for a 23-cent pizza, well, it ain't gonna get cold. As I got closer, I encountered an old woman and I asked her how long was the wait? She said, "Three hours and they are running out of dough," My only reply was, "Well, you'll have that."

















Let's face it. If you're in a suburban area waiting for a 23-cent pizza, you are an idiot. If a media member asks you who to thank and you offer, "LeBron" or "King James", you're even more of an idiot. But I will offer this. If you're poor and someone gives you a 23-cent pizza, maybe you'll stay in line, regardless of the wait, because it's considered a treat. Not saying it's right, but I wonder if the poverty level is that bad, that we have some sort of modern bread line going. Still not sure what Papa John's gained by all this. I guess it's free publicity, as long as no one gets knifed. You lose goodwill if people think they got hosed, even for 23 cents. All of the workers who showed up should get a bonus, I think.

Maybe these people had the right idea:

















I like "the Gong Show". I like Dave Attell. Will this work?

"Speed Racer" has arrived. A look back at the Japanese cartoon classics.

Exercise Yard

I'm not sure the Cavs are in lots of trouble, but the first two games against the Celtics have been troubling. As was correctly pointed out in the broadcast, who can create their own shot other than LeBron on this team? Say what you want about Scottie Pippen, but he was a solid Number 2 for Michael Jordan. The Cavs have no one even close to that talent level.

Numbers are horrid. LeBron is 8 for 42 in two games. Cave shot 35% for the game and that's Brick City. And they got outrebounded. I know the Celtics defense is first in the league, but Daniel Gibson gets 2 shots in 20 minutes? Wally Szczerbiak is much like Travis Hafner. He hits 2 shots and everyone thinks he's back. Then he has a game where he is 4 for 11. Again.

Really a bad display tonight. Cavs lose, 89-73 The only good thing is they come home and Boston has yet to win a playoff game on the road this year and has looked like a different team while doing it.

Visitor

50 Across: "To Kill A Mockingbird" lawyer (12 letters) Answer: Atticus Finch

OK, I'm in the middle of some sort of power surge festival over here and have to tap this out quickly. I ventured over to Marc's tonight and did the old I need one thing, but I end up with 12 items visits. You see, I'm making Savory Ritz Bites for the weekend. It's like Spock directs you through the aisles at Marc's. "You have bacon at home, why not make BLTs?" Then that weird scientific music carries you over to the vegetable area. "Bloodies for Sunday. Why not make sure you have enough mix?" "Cheese is a good thing." Bah! I'm out the door, $21.98 poorer.

Meal of Links

I love kids. But here are 10 reasons not to have them. "They say one curse word and people assume that you speak in Two Live Crew lyrics."

As you know, I realy like "Dexter" and it starts on Showtime at the end of September. I was gonna send an e-mail from this "Dexter" viral campaign to a couple of people, because it sounded cool. But I sent one to myself to test the freaky factor, and that was pretty high if you had no warning it was coming. Therefore, I dropped it.

Yes, it's a Jonny Quest movie! They better pick an appropriate Race Bannon or I'm gonna be pissed.

Exercise Yard

I finally finished the book "The Echoing Green" by Joshua Prager. It is the story of how Bobby Thomson's famous playoff home run, "The Shot Heard Round The World", was a byproduct of the Giants stealing signs. The Giants had an incredible home record once they did this during that summer and caught the Dodgers to eventually win the pennant in playoff.

Appropriate for our times, when another Giant happens to be in the news. The old baseball axiom, "If you're not cheating, you're not trying." lives on.

The book, however, was a terrific read.

Visitor

44 Across: Sister of Zsa Zsa (3 letters) Answer: Eva

What used to be a happy day now has turned into this loathsome crawl into the depths of sport. That's right, the Browns season tickets showed up in the mail today. This year the cost is $40 per. It's time to start lining up prospects before they stumble out of the gate...er...begin to play this season. The Browns also released their training camp schedule. Looks like Krispy Kreme is sponsoring the early morning workouts. Keep Coach Crennel away those days.

BTW, the home schedule has the Chiefs and Lions in preseason. Steelers, Bengals, Ravens, Dolphins, Seahawks, Texans, Bills, 49ers during the regular season. Followed by playoffs and Super Bowl, I'm sure.

Meal of Links

Wot? You have not seen "The Flight of the Conchords" on HBO? You can catch up here.

The greatest cartoon ever turns 50 this week. "Kill da wabbit".

Bush performs brain surgery at the Cleveland Clinic. Don't worry, he used a dummy.

Exercise Yard

While the All-Stars play in Frisco, the No Stars stay home. Note Josh Barfield as runner-up at second base. When they traded for him, his lack of walks was a concern. It still is.

Visitor

49 Down: Meir of Israel (5 letters) Answer: Golda

Winding down toward the holiday, I'll post tomorrow about the Browns game. Chelsea scored in extra time to beat Wigan, 3-2, today.

On the 11th day of Christmas, if you are not a Browns fan, you'd also say "Thank God it's them, instead of you." I always get a kick out of seeing who was deemed popular in 1984.

Band Aid-"Do They Know It's Christmas"



Meal of Links

Hey, a list with links. I think this is pretty cool. An old list of the 50 Greatest Cartoons and you can watch most of them. And, yes, Duck Dodgers is on it.

Oh, no. Paul Westerberg injures his hand. There is no replacement for that guy.

To waste away even more time, online games. I got 82% on the state game. Use the keyboard directional arrows for Sober Santa. My best Pingu Throw was 319.3, a big blast.

Exercise Yard

It looks like I won't be getting the NFL Network for Christmas. Or anytime soon.

Visitor

8 Down: Actor McBride of "The Nine" (3 letters) Answer: Chi