Randomness from last night's Browns home preseason opener:

Special Guest: My brother, Jeff. Since this is the only one of the two home preseason games that I am attending, I thought I'd get him down there. He's always had a thing for the Lions anyhow, so there you have it.

The Browns Commissioned Warhol to do a Mangini
















Today's Opponent: The Detroit Lions. That means only one thing. It's the GLC, baby! The GLC is the Great Lakes Classic. Each year, the Browns play the Lions in a preseason game. I think each team donates some money to charity. They also play for a trophy...of a barge. I'm not even sure the winner displays it proudly. As the song says: "Never has a game that meant so little meant so much...G-L-C!"

Last night, that meant the Lions come to Cleveland Browns Stadium for this year's renewal. After the debacle in Green Bay last week, the Browns need to show something, especially on defense.

Realistically though, it's preseason, so I don't really care.

Parking: Went really early as I usually do for the first game, so I grabbed a spot on East 6th southbound by Public Hall. This is known in the street parking biz as "great spot".

Browns Player on Ticket: As I said when my tickets arrived, there are no player photos on the tickets this year. So, consider this segment from now on, retired.

Yep, I Was Early

















Pre-Game Festivities: This may have been the earliest I have ever arrived. There was an army of friskers waiting for me when I got there. I swear I was one of the first 150 in the place. And, this year, I got touched. I think I was actually tickled by the guy. Needless to say, I won't be in his line ever again.

What I noticed was the music was a lot louder this year. Old farts prepare! I heard "The Ocean" by Led Zeppelin on my way in. They also played "Signs". They followed that with some "Born To Run". Then they played a medley of country favorites, then during calisthenics turned on some hip-hop for the players.

Worst Feature (For Me): We were long gone before "Hang on Sloopy" was played at the end of the third quarter. Christ, it's only three more weeks before I have to hear that song in person at the OSU-Toledo game.

Bad Moon Rising

















The Weather: Don't know if this is standard for 2009, but both Marky Nolan and Hollie Strano were on the mike. This may have been because Strano appeared to be hammered. The radar, much like Strano's empty glass, showed nothing.

But it rained hard on the way down there. By the time I got Downtown though, it had subsided. It looked ominous to the west, but never materialized into any rain. It was actually some fairly pleasant weather, probably in the mid-to-upper 60s by gametime.

Today's Giveaway: There wasn't any, or maybe they had not unpacked it yet when I got there.

Section 345: I always like to see who has decided to carry over their tickets from previous seasons. I saw ONE familiar face. Now, it is a game for lots of one-timers, so I'll have a better handle on this when Minnesota is here for the opener.

Unfortunately, I had Jimmy Donovan, Jr. sitting near me. You know, one of those loudmouths who has to demonstrate his knowledge to the rest of us while delivering cogent expert analysis. Like, "Hey, defense, you can't let that guy stand there forever. He had 7 seconds to throw that ball." Now, everyone else around thought that, but he needed to yell it. An aside to Jeff: "We are winning 20 to nothing in a preseason game, aren't we?" Gems like "That was a terrible throw there." and "That was a good call, ref."

Way too fuckin' serious for the GLC, I say.

Best Browns Play: The Josh Cribbs New Contract play, the punt return for 84 yards. We had previously talked about the 2-man wedge on NFL kickoff returns the year and how that might hurt Cribbs return yardage. And that he was going to have to be more of a factor on plays from scrimmage to get that bigger contract he has been threatening to hold out for. Kickoff return yardage was down in the first week, but Cribbs blew that theory to hell by running back the opening kick for a TD. Unfortunately, the Browns had a penalty, nullifying that return.

But the punt return was a thing of beauty. Showcasing Cribbs' speed, cutback ability and strength to shed tacklers. Forget Eric Metcalf. Cribbs is the best return man the Browns have ever had.

Best Lions Play: Sadly, for the Lions, it was before the opening kick. As Jeff rightly pointed out, I haven't seen a professional team direct their full attention to the National Anthem in quite some time.

The players, including the injured ones, lined up at attention along the sideline. The coaching staff and trainers and equipment staff lined up a few yards behind the players. Of course, the Browns are in a line, but it is more of a serpentine fashion than anything else.

It was as if the spirit of Bud Grant had been channeled by the Lions. Very impressive.

The Fans Come Out Of A Tunnel, Too

















Worst Browns Play: Probably the Derek Anderson inteception. It was high and a little bit quick, but the running back tipped it up, ending the Browns 2-minute drill. There was time for the Lions to run one play, a field goal, which they made, giving the Lionsan undeserved thre points before the half.

Second Worst Browns Play: They do not serve beer at the Gridiron Grille or Browns Town after the half.

Worst Lions Play: Matthew Stafford's interception to Eric Wright. Ran a decent fake, but when he rolled to his right, no one was open. he sees a trailing cutter, then fires a pass to him. But Wright on a gift interception easily leaves his man and grabs the ball.

Best Line from Me (seeing another Reuben Droughns jersey): "That guy's the head of the Droughns Family. He's Grandpa Droughns."

Best Line from the Ref: "Detroit has choosed to kick off." Jerome Boger was the ref, and Jeff suggested he may be the first one who needs subtitles.

Oddest Browns Jersey: Since there were lots of one-timers there, this list is exhaustive: 2 Couch, 5 Garcia, 9 Frye, 11 Dorsey, 24 Fuller (Yes, someone with a Corey Fuller jersey), 34 Droughns, 41 Prentice, 44 Suggs, 54 Spielman, 55 McGinest, 69 Mr. Joe (Remember this number was worn proudly by Your Mom, Beef and Uncle Drew last year), 84 Jurevicius, 85 K. Johnson, 92 C.Brown, 95 Miller.

Food Items: Jeff bought me a Mountain Dew. But his food take was a hot dog, nachos and a pop. All that for $19.50. Nachos $6.75, Soda $4.25, Hot Dog $4.25. Beer is $7.00 from a vendor.

Best Fan Cam Feature: Nothing stood out.

Most Interesting Music: Instead of playing the traditional "Jeopardy" theme during a disputed call on replay, this thunderbolt was sent over the P.A.

"Controversy" by Prince! The 20th Century welcomes you, Cleveland Browns music provider.

The Fuckin' Run: Didn't even care to notice.

Future Champions Milling About
















Penalties: The holding on the Cribbs kickoff return cost the Browns 7 points. Mike Furrey lost a first down on an illegal formation penalty on the line. Brady Quinn suffered that penalty and another hold on the line while he was in there.

Now, all that took place in the first half, because we left to meet up with She Who Cuts My Hair for some beers at The ClubHouse Pub and Grub. Which is also known for their Chicken Paprikash. I don't eat that, so I had the potato skins.

All in all, it was what I expected from the GLC. Derek Anderson took advantage of the start and played reasonably well. Brady Quinn had zero momentum. James Davis took advantage of a Jerome Harrison injury and busted open an 81-yard TD run. Cribbs was great. The defense with many newcomers was pumped up in front of the home crowd and did OK. But I caution everyone. It was the Lions.

Meal of Links

Who do you blame for film noir? Even Hitler is on the list.

Men will spend one year of their lives staring at women. Who volunteers for these studies?

Guess I have to change my Swiss Bank account. I've always thought that was one of the coolest movie tricks. You mention "Swiss Bank account" and the intrigue is ratcheted up by at least a thousand percent.

Exercise Yard

NASCAR drivers now have their own intro music. Mark Martin has AC/DC!

Visitor

None, on a typical summer Sunday.